The Order Through The Eyes Of Nymphadora
by gurugirl
Summary: In one night Tonks goes from just an Auror too a member of the Order of the Phoenix. Following her struggles through books 5 through 7. Her life just got more complicated. But then again, falling in Love was never easy. NT/RL. Rated T
1. Prologue: A Difficult Night

**Ok, so this is going to be quite a long story, and hopefully a good one. Read it please and let me know what you think. ~Gurugirl. So basically I was fed up with this first chapter changing from first to third person, etc.****.****. So I re-did it. Not much changed really. Basically Chapter 1, but so short I call it my Prologue.**

_Light travels faster than sound. This is why some_

_People appear bright until_

_You hear them_

_Speak_!

**_Edited: 22/03/11_**

A Difficult night

I stormed out of the office, and down the highly polished floor that was the corridor leading to the junior Auror headquarters. I was careful to scuff the floor with my foot as I went; my hair was turning a blazing red and seemed to be smoking. Arriving at my cubicle and I slammed the door behind me. I stood panting, and trying to calm down. Looking around my cluttered box that was my cubicle, I felt the anger melt away into sadness.

_Shit,_ I thought, _I think I've just got myself fired!_ I cursed under her breathe and sank into her chair. I had just had an argument with the head of the Auror department, Rufus Scrimgeour. I breathed deeply, thinking that if I was fired, I was going to slack. I pointed my wand at my mini-wizarding wireless, provided by my dad at graduation, and it started up at once.

_-Good evening, fellow witches and wizards of all ages, my name is Colin Feral and I will be keeping you updated with the latest news and gossip throughout tonight's show. But first we have several musical requests, and this is one for all you __**Weird Sisters fans**__ out there. So here it is their new single, Downtrodden!_

I sat tapping my feet to the music, but didn't stay that way for long. Soon I was up and dancing around my cubicle, knocking stacks of parchment and boxes of reports all over the floor. I was too lost in the music too notice, but abruptly fell on the floor in surprise as the music stopped and I finally came back to earth.

_-erm, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry for the interruption, as you know the Tri__-__wizard Tournament is happening at Hogwarts this year, and I can now announce that Harry potter, or the boy-who-lived, is the victor in the last task! So, anyway back to the Music._

The music started up again, what the hell! Was that it? It was a big sensation throughout the country and thats all they can say, what a load Bollocks!

I startled a couple of witches walking past my cubicle at that time, as the thought came out of my mouth in high pitched scream form. Something it does quite often. I laughed to myself as I picked myself up off the floor, picking up some of the knocked over papers as I went. Just as I turned my back to the door, someone cleared there throat. I spun around to fast and promptly fell on my ass, AGAIN!

"Miss Tonks, could I have a word?" said the deep voice which came from Kingsley Shackelbolt, my kind of boss.

"Of course, sir" I said, hastily, standing up to see him properly. Though it hardly made a difference, he was too tall.

"May I ask why you are scaring people with wild cursing?" he asked, mildly. I dare not refuse answer.

"Erm, well you see sir, they just announced the tournament and-" but I was cut off as a cry of fury sounded through the halls.

"Kingsley!" shouted Fudge, coming into the cubicle. "Harry Potter has just claimed he who must not be named is back, and they are nothing but false. We need to squash these rumours. We need your input, now!" Kingsley looked taken aback, so was I, though Fudge hadn't noticed me. _Voldemort... back? No way! But then again, mum has always said..._

"Why would he say that if it was false?" Inquired Kingsley, deeply.

"Your duty is to follow orders, not question authority above your station!" he shouted, turning purple with fury. I stood around Kingsley.

"But sir, he has a point, what would make him say that? What reason has he too lie?" I asked, quickly.

"He came out of the maze clutching a dead boy and turned the accident into a ludicrous story, just for attention, Auror Tonks!" then he turned to Kingsley "You need to control your juniors tongues when talking to a superior. I expect you here bright and early tomorrow!" and with that he left. My mouth hung open.

Kingsley sighed "I seriously don't get it" his face creased with concentration, "Why would he lie? I don't think he wants any more attention".

"He doesn't" said a voice from outside the cubicle. I jumped up in surprise as Arthur Weasley entered, followed by a tall man with long red hair, who could only be his son.

"Arthur" Kingsley said. _This was getting weird. I wish I'd just got on with my paperwork._

I don't know how to tell you what happened next because it was too much too take in, but all I knew was that me, Kingsley, Arthur and his son who I now knew the name off, Bill, were moving swiftly towards the Ministry exit. We were going to some secret place, a secret organisation. You-Know-Who was back and there were few that new it. We were now to become four of the few. As soon as we exited the building, we grabbed each other's arm and apparated.

We appeared in a deserted lane. I looked at my watch; it was nearly three in the morning. The guys ran down the lane towards a shabby cottage, I hastened to follow them as the first spots of rain came down. In the space of two minutes the heavens had opened and we were drenched. Kingsley was already being let in as I caught up with them. I was last in and slipped a bit in my muddy boots but a strong arm gripped me upright. Everyone was staring, but not at me. I looked up at the man. He had black tangled hair and worn clothes. His eyes were haunted but his smile was kind. I recognised him immediately.

"Sirius" I whispered, pulling my arm away and backing against Bill. Sirius shut the door and a man equally as worn, but much better groomed stood in front of him.

"Sirius is an innocent man, if you wait for Dumbledore, I'm sure he'll explain, if you don't believe us" he said, patiently. The others nodded as he pointed towards a door to the left, and they made their way through without a single protest or glance back, but I stood looking at my cousin.

"Nymie, it wasn't me, I swear, I'm innocent!" he pleaded, desperately. I just stared, I hadn't seen him since I was five, and I'd believed him evil and cruel. I didn't know what to do.

"Sirius?" the man inquired.

"This is my cousin, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus" he said "I recognised her immediately, she has the same heart shaped face she had when she was little, though she's much taller now" he laughed, weakly. The man to his left moved into the dim hall light for the first time. His brown jumper and jeans had patches and his hair was streaked with grey. He had the looks of a young man who'd been through an older man's sufferings.

"Blimey" he breathed. I heard a whoosh of fire from the room down the hall. I finally found my voice.

"Erm, I think someone just arrived" and to back me up, Dumbledore stuck his head round the door and called them. Sirius rocked on his feet a bit before stepping back and gesturing me past. The other man, who I now knew to be called Remus, went to bolt the door properly before following us. We moved into the room silently, the two men's eyes were still on me but I wouldn't look at them.

"Friends, newcomers" Dumbledore said, and gestured to me and then to Kingsley. "Voldemort has returned and the Order of the Phoenix is to be re-established".

**I am so sorry boring or had so little romance but I needed to set it all up. Next Chapter will have more of Remus, I hope lol! Please review, tips and ideas are greatly appreciated. Luv ya x **


	2. So It Begins

**Ok, second chapter! Quick thank you to Yvonne Park for being my first reviewer! Hope you enjoy!**

**_Edited: 22/03/11_**

So it begins

I sat at the table, in the kitchen of Grimmauld place. We had arrived there last night after the organisation was re-formed. This was the Black's house, Sirius's house, and I hated it here. The house was full of doom and gloom. When Sirius had suggested it, it seemed the perfect place and in a way it was, but it wasn't pleasant. As soon as we walked through the door portraits started screeching and ugly old house elf had ran at us with an iron poker, ordering us out. Then Sirius stepped forward and ordered him to put it down, once he obeyed we all breathed relief.

I had a room in between Sirius's and Remus's. It was fairly small; a tiny wardrobe that kept rattling was shoved in the corner, and a mirror that kept screaming insults at my hair, hung on the wall. The bed had four posts on each corner, with chunks of wood missing from them, like someone had attacked it. The curtains were also humming and it freaked me out to be there.

Molly, Arthur Weasley's wife, had turned up about three hours ago, around six this morning and hated the filth in the house as much as I did. She embraced me into a bone crushing hug as soon as she saw me. I'd only ever met her once before, when I'd played round Charlie's in the summer at the end of first year. I couldn't believe she remembered me, but then she said it was the hair.

She'd promised that she would tackle my room for me straight away, though I would only be staying there occasionally.

I'd spent most of the night in Sirius's room, talking with him and Remus, trying to understand. I finally did but I knew it would take a while to trust him. Sirius had looked sad when I'd said that, but Remus understood and agreed with me. I instantly liked him; he was clever, understanding and funny. The whole order had spent the night rushing around while I had been with them and also getting clothes from my flat. Unfortunately I was having to go to work this morning, so I'd woke early, changed and here I sat drinking coffee.

The house was now quite. Most had gone home to sleep or were upstairs. I was waiting to go to work with Arthur, I was a little apprehensive to go into work by myself, though he'd said it would make it more suspicious, he'd agreed anyway.

The door was flung open, and in walked Sirius, yawning widely. When he saw me he smiled shyly and then went to the counter to the kettle. Just the house elf slouched in, muttering under its breath. "Oh, shut up" muttered Sirius, obviously not awake enough to shout like he had last night. The door swung open again, and in walked Arthur Weasley in rather patchy looking robes. He grimaced and sat down.

"Nymphadora, it's going to be a rough day today, are you sure you're up for it?"

"It's Tonks Arthur, and don't worry. Where's Molly?" I asked but it was Sirius who answered.

"She went home about an hour ago, just before you woke up. I've been sitting in the drawing room, I couldn't sleep" he said to my questioning look as to how he knew.

"Oh, well I didn't get any sleep last night so you're not the only one. I doubt anyone did. Will she be back?" This time it was Arthur who answered me.

"Oh yes, she wants to clean this place up, but for now she's going to stay at home and wait til the kids finish school for the summer. We'll pack our stuff and move in here, it'll do good to be close in case of emergencies" he said, I just nodded. I only met Bill and Charlie, but I've heard of the twins, but couldn't remember their names.

"Tea Arthur?" asked Sirius from the corner.

"No thanks, I think we should be going. The sooner we get there the better" he said, his voice was shaky. I stood quickly and followed Arthur through the door. Sirius followed us to the front door.

"Good luck" he muttered, I smiled. He positively beamed. We walked out of the house and I heard the faint slam of the door behind me.

At first glance, the doors to the Auror Headquarters looked impressive and foreboding, but anyone who walked through those doors believing it to be a smart, organised place for the pursuit of bring criminals to justice, would be very disappointed. Through the doors was a long corridor, lined with many white cubicles which had been decorated by the Aurors with things ranging from pictures of their families to posters of Quidditch teams. I however like the décor and how homely the place felt, no matter how unorganised it was. I had my office covered in weird sister's posters and a single poster of Gwenog Jones, captain of the Holyhead harpies.

As walked through the corridor I noticed Gareth with his feet up on his desk and his long hair tied back, dictating to a quill for the third time this week. I also noticed Savage, a young Auror with whom I rarely spoke, poking at something on his desk. I moved along a bit more and finally came to my cubicle. I settled myself inside, pulling some paperwork towards me and preparing to get busy.

I was bored by lunch time. Then I was annoyed (someone in a neighbouring cubicle had made a sound like a gun going off which had startled me) and then bored once again. I had been sitting at my desk for two hours now and I was getting fed up. I wanted to do something useful, like take out my wand and blow one of the patronizing ministry workers heads off. That would be useful, and entertaining, though I needed my job and would most probably be fired for that. I wanted to see Arthur, but I couldn't.

He had walked with me too work, and chatted about his family. I'd heard his third eldest son was being questioned about the disappearance of Mr Crouch, but that was all. Apparently it's putting great strain on Percy, his son's name, and Molly. She was very worried as they'd barely seen him, and when they had he looked all pale and anxious. He was quiet, which apparently was a big change. And now they knew there family would be suspected of being in league with Dumbledore, because of his fixation with Muggle's. I felt so bad for him.

I looked at the work in front of me, not reading the works that scrambled themselves on the page. There was a knock on my cubicle door. It was Kingsley.

"There is an announcement for you" he held out a slip of pink paper. I read it quickly and cringed. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered. I nodded looking back at the parchment. I read it again; just to make sure I'd read it correctly.

_To all Ministry staff,_

_There have been rumours circulating about a certain dark wizard's returning. I would like to kindly inform you all that these rumours are false and if they are heard, should be disregarded. _

_Signed__,_

_Dolores Umbridge, Senior undersecretary to the Minister of magic._

_Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic_

"What rumours? They surely haven't spread that fast, I mean, it only happened last night" I whispered.

"The Ministry are attempting to squash any rumours before they start. They've been taking drastic action all through the night, just like we have. It's a very clever way to word it" he whispered gravely back, re-reading the note

"It is. But then again, Dolores always did have a way of sugar coating nasty things" I sighed, heavily "It's horrible". There was another knock at my cubicle door, and Arthur walked in holding the exact same pink note I was. His face was twisted with worry; he shut the door behind him. Now there was no room to move in my tiny cubicle. We all looked at each other with the same worried expression, wondering what was going to happen next. We groaned collectively.

And so, I was back at Grimmauld place, we had a meeting in about ten minutes anyway but I felt like I needed to be there. Work had been terrible. The whole Auror division had had a meeting, more like a pep talk mixed with propaganda, telling us that Dumbledore was our enemy and we must fight (not really in a literal sense, I think), for the Ministry. We were also told to keep all this quiet. It was clear that the Dumbledore Ministry divide would happen quickly, very quickly.

I was hacked off, and a couple of others looked like they did too but we kept our mouths shut. Kingsley made a convincing speech to side with the Ministry, I almost forgot that he was faking, and nearly threw my quill at him. Now I just needed something to take my mind off it.

I crept down the hallway, into the kitchen. No-body was there. I turned on the light and ran to the cupboard. Inside the cupboards were near enough bare. Just a few tea bags and a bowl of sugar. _Sugar. _I took it out and stuck my finger in, then licked it off and dived back in.

"Aren't you a little old to be dipping your fingers in the sugar bowl?" asked a teasing male voice from behind me. I turned around, my finger still in my mouth, to see Remus leaning against the door frame, a smile playing on his lips. I pulled my finger from my mouth, and dipped it right back in the sugar bowl.

"I have a sweet tooth. When I'm stressed I go for something sweet, it's what I do" I shrugged.

"Well, we have to use that for the tea, but if you fancy something sweet, how about this" he said walking towards me and reaching to the top of the cabinet and bringing down a bar of honey dukes honeycomb chocolate. He offered it to me. I took it.

"Thanks" I said biting a chunk out.

"No problem, don't tell anyone where you got that, please? Do you want to join me and Sirius in the drawing room? The others will be here soon and I need some help trying to calm him down. He's really worried about Harry" he asked, sincerity written all over his face.

"Sure" I said and followed him through the house to the drawing room.

Sirius was pacing anxiously in front of the fire, muttering to himself. Remus went forward and sat in one of the armchairs, I sat down too. Sirius stopped pacing, and turned to me but he didn't say anything. Then he turned to Remus.

"They'll all be arriving soon, I should warn them about the portrait as they come in, I don't want mummy waking" he muttered moving towards the door but Remus beat him too it.

"I'll tell them, you just calm down. Dumbledore has a plan, you need to trust him Sirius" and with that he left. Sirius slumped down next to me, he had changed from this morning. He was now clean and he wore Muggle clothing, jeans and a t-shirt, and his feet were bare.

"So, Nymie. How was work?" he asked.

"Please don't call me that, it's Tonks! And work was horrible, we had this big meeting where Scrimgeour told us all that Dumbledore was a liar" I said, my voice was shaking with fury. Sirius put his hand on my shoulder, and then quickly removed it.

People began to file in so much that the room was crowded. We could have use the dining table in the kitchen as it was long enough to fit everyone, but no, we were shoved in here like sardines in a can.

"Right, now that you're all here" said Dumbledore quietly as we all hushed up. I was slipping of the sofa fast, and someone pulled me back on. "I have several ideas as to what Voldemort" everyone flinched "is after".

"Firstly he wants to build up an army again; he will want to take the Dementors back which means he can rescue his old death eaters who were locked up. We must convince as many people as possible that he is back, it's those that don't know or don't believe that will be easy targets for the imperious curse. Also, summer is in a month's time, we must watch over Harry, in shifts, to make sure no harm comes to him. And most important of all" he looked around at us all "I believe Voldemort wants a prophecy concerning him and Harry that is in the Department of Mysteries, and he CANNOT have it. It is of great importance that he does not get his hands on it. So we will be having guard duty. I have written down who goes with whom at what times on what days. I give them to Kingsley" he passed them over "but now I really must get back to Hogwarts, I'm waiting on the arrival of my potions master" and with that he stepped into the fire and vanished.

Some of us moved into the dining room/kitchen after checking the list but most went home. I was paired with Remus, which I didn't mind, and was on duty most nights. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday night were ours, along with some general swapping around, I was sure I'd have to do much more.

At the table sat Arthur, Remus, Sirius and Mundungus. Molly was over at the stove, so I went stand by her.

"Want some help Molly?" I offered.

"If you wouldn't mind, it's very kind of you. Sirius and I tackled your room so if you stay it won't be too creepy for you".

"Thanks Molly" I said giving her a big hug. She chuckled something like '_no problem' _and carried on cooking out of big bags she had brought.

"Tonks" shouted Sirius "we couldn't get the mirror down, sorry".

"That's ok" I replied "I don't care what it says, I think my hair is fabulous" I giggled.

"It's definitely unique, how'd you get it like that?" asked Remus.

"I'm a metamorphmagus, didn't I tell you?" Sirius whistled and Remus nodded like he understood. Mundungus was so drunk that he was unresponsive.

I finished helping Molly and was taking the dirty stuff to the sink as she gave the boys there grub. I glanced at the table and saw Remus staring at me. He winked. I forgot to watch my feet rather than him and fell. CRASH! The dirty pots and pans clattered all around me as everyone either laughed or sprinted to help me, laughing.

"I'm fine, don't worry. I'm just a terrible klutz". Molly helped me sort out the pans, and Remus took them off her and told her to go eat. He put them in the sink and smiled at me.

"So you're my guard duty partner. This should be fun" he said mildly. "By the way" he pointed to my yellow hair, I'd done it too annoy Umbridge "I think pink suits you much better" and then he went to sit down, I followed.

**Ok, so I thought I'd post this chapter now, so that I could leave you with it and also say that I'M NOT GOING TO POST FOR ABOUT TWO WEEKS AS MY TIMETABLE IS CRAMMED WITH GCSE EXAMS! Wish me luck! Also this chapter was longer than the first, so I'm sorry if anyone was annoyed by that.**

**I do have some good stuff planned though, and you should see the Weasley's soon. Do you think I got any of my dribble right? I'm really worried. Please review...please? gurugirl xx**


	3. Secrets and Truths

**Okay, this is a week early but I've had such a bad week, I needed to do something to take my mind off it, and here it is the next chapter! Big Thanks to arteryandvein, Flo M Nimo and, of course, Yvonne Park. I leave you now so you can read the chapter and will see you again at the end of it.**

******_Edited: 24/03/11_**  


**Secrets and Truths**

It was month later, after endless guard duties, and meetings and Ministry questionings, and the kids were off school. The Weasley's would be here as soon as they'd packed so everyone was getting rooms ready for their arrival. We would be starting shifts watching Harry tomorrow. Sirius was getting moody because he couldn't do anything. And speaking of Moody, Mad-eye Moody was now in the Order, though he was quite jumpy. When he mentored me, he had always shouted 'Constant Vigilance' and been consistently paranoid. This seemed to have increased, especially after spending nine months locked in his own trunk, by a Death eater.

Most thought my changing hair colour was nothing special and that I was something of a nuisance, but Sirius disagreed and loved watching me morph, especially into Snape as it cheered him up, and Remus said he still preferred pink. Sirius had pushed him off his chair after that calling him a charmer. Remus hadn't looked too impressed but I laughed, I loved watching their antics, they were like teenagers again.

I was in the room that was going to be the girl's room, Ginny. I think that's her name. I'd already got rid of a boggart and some pictures had been tossed in the trash, there occupants cursing and squealing at me as they flew through the air and smashed into the bin, and now I just had to deal with the rattling under side of the bed. I pointed my wand towards it and shot the revealing spell. Suddenly, cockroaches the size of small dogs came pouring out. I screamed and jumped onto the bed. They seemed not to be able to get up but I kept screaming, sending stunning spells at them, which bounced off their tough backs. The door flew open.

Remus stood there and then he shot his wand in the air and the cockroaches froze, and then vanished. I breathed a sigh and sat on the bed. He came and sat next to me.

"You okay?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, they just startled me and they were so big too" I laughed, though there was nothing funny about the situation.

"Yeah, we found a ghoul in the attic. We think there may have been more, but you should have seen Sirius. He was actually scared of it! And he screamed like a little girl...all it did was drool" he laughed, I laughed too. "So, you're finished in here, want to come help me and Sirius".

"Sure" I said enthusiastically. Ever since guard duty, I'd become fond of Remus. But when I got out onto the landing, Kingsley was coming up the stairs looking grave.

"Tonks, Dolores wants to see you now" he said calmly, but Remus made a growling noise in his throat as he heard the name. I turned to him.

"What's the matter?"

"Huh? Oh, I just don't like her that much" he said not meeting my eyes. I knew something was up, and more importantly, everyone seemed to know something about Remus that I didn't. I decided to overlook it for now, but I was getting increasingly worried.

"Oh, well sorry Remus. I'll see you at guard duty tonight, yeah?" I asked hopefully, though I knew I would. He smiled at me but said nothing.

_Dolores Jane Umbridge's office._

I knocked and waited. I knocked again. Still no answer. I was just about to give up when a simpering little voice came from inside. "Yes".

"You wanted to see me?" I asked as sweetly as I could, as I walked into her office. It was all pink and frills. There were pictures of cat's everywhere and two cups of tea set out on her desk.

"Yes, take a seat dear" she said, I felt like a first year student again. "Now, I made you some tea. Have a little sip to warm yourself up". I didn't see why I needed warming, it was perfectly hot outside. I also didn't trust her, at one of the meetings we'd talked about how the Ministry might interrogate its employees with the help of the truth potion. Tasteless and hard to tell if you've been spiked with it.

"No thanks. I'm not thirsty" I declined sweetly.

"Nonsense dear, drink up" she looked at me with hard blazing eyes "now". I dared not refuse. I put the cup to my lips but kept them clamped shut. She smiled as I put the cup down.

"Now" she said "Are you working with Dumbledore?"

"No".

"Do you believe the Ministry are liars?"

"No".

"Do you believe Dumbledore is a liar?"

"Yes" I replied, she was edging towards me, she looked frustrated. But her frustration turned into a sickly sweet smile as she saw me looking.

"Ok well that's all for today. You won't be having any leave during the day now as we are very busy. And I'll be keeping an eye on you, so get back to your desk. Off you go". I jumped up and it was all I could do not to sprint out of the office. I returned to my cubicle and found a fresh stack of reports sitting on top of my old ones. I groaned and sat down. There was pink parchment lying on top of the pile. It had two words written on it that made my blood boil. _Have fun. _Patronizing, evil cow.

I ran through the Ministry towards the elevator. I had lost track of time doing the reports and hadn't realised I was fifth teen minutes late for guard duty. I hoped Remus wouldn't be mad but he didn't seem the type to get mad. I pressed the floor button several times in a hurry but the lift was taking an annoyingly long time to come. When it did arrive I was positive I was going to be even later than I already was.

The elevator was empty, luckily, and I pressed the down button with vigour as the doors closed. As the doors opened again I ran out, squeezing through even though the doors hadn't opened properly and ran down the steps. It was a pain that the elevator didn't go all the way down. I turned the corner at the bottom and ran towards the door but before I could get there I hit something solid and invisible and toppled over onto top of it.

Remus ripped off the cloak to look at me. I blushed as I looked down at him. "Sorry I'm late; Umbridge gave me loads of work."

"That's ok, I was coming to see where you were, I was worried" I looked at him funny, but he gave nothing away. I got off him and he stood up, throwing the invisibility cloak around me. "Let's go sit by the door".

"So, tell me, why do you hate Umbridge so much? I mean, I know she's an evil cow, but you seemed to really hate her" I said. He sighed.

"You don't know what I am" he stated.

"So tell me, I want to know" I pleaded. He groaned.

"Tonks, I'm a werewolf". I stared, and my mouth involuntarily opened. I couldn't believe it, but thinking about it made sense. The scars, how tired he'd been lately and that weird nickname he had. _Moony._ How could I have been so blind?

"And Umbridge?" I asked. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

"She drafted a piece of anti-werewolf legislation that makes me unable to get a job" he muttered, his voice shaking. I took his hand in mine and lent my head on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Remus, but why didn't you tell me before?"

"I didn't want you to hate me" he said, leaning his cheek against my hair.

"I don't hate you, and I wouldn't. You're a normal person and besides most men are monsters most of the time, without a full moon." I giggled; he chuckled half-heartedly then lifted his head.

"We should probably keep watch" he said to change the subject, I nodded and let go of him. However, after a few minutes of patrolling in silence, Remus broke it.

"What did Umbridge want, anyway?" he asked.

"To interrogate me on my loyalties" I shrugged, unbothered by this.

"What?" he asked startled.

"Yeah, she invited me into her office, gave me a cup of tea that was obviously laced with veritaserium, and interrogated me" I said, sighing. "It was only a matter of time, ever since June I've been wondering when exactly I'd be questioned".

"You thought you'd be questioned? Why?"

"Many reasons. Number one is that Umbridge doesn't like me, or that the fact that someone like me was capable of becoming an Auror" I explained, "number two; my parents have always, well nearly always, stood behind Dumbledore. My dad says there's no way Harry would make up something like this, and if he really wanted more attention, he probably wouldn't have to make supposed far-fetched stories to get it".

"You dad's name is Ted Tonks, right?" he asked.

"Yes. Why, do you know him?" I asked. I leant back against the wall, and he leant against the opposite one.

"He was in his last year when I was in my first, same as your mum. And I've seen him around a few times after that" he said, vaguely. "You know, Dumbledore's thinking of letting us do single shifts from now on".

"I hope not, I'll probably fall asleep if I have to do night duty on my own" I muttered.

"I'm sure you won't, but I'll still guard with you if you like when I'm not doing… other things of course" he said.

"No point asking what those other things are, is there?"

"No" he smiled. "So why does Umbridge not like you?" he changed the subject, thought his voice became a growl at the mention of her name.

"For the same reasons, more or less, that she does not like you" I replied. Remus dropped the subject after that.

Guard duty passed pretty quickly with no trouble at all. We apparated back to Grimmauld place at two o'clock the next morning. We hadn't spoken since he'd told me he was a werewolf and I had a feeling he was trying not to even look at me. He walked up the steps and tapped the door, which swung open. The lights were dim and there was no movement in the house. I walked down the hall and went up the stairs with him behind me.

"Goodnight Remus" I whispered as I opened my door.

"Goodnight Nymphadora" He said, and before I had chance to tell him off for using my name, he'd already gone.

There was a loud bang, and I woke with a start and ran out into the hall. Remus and Sirius ran out at the exact same time. I might have laughed if I wasn't so worried about what the noise was. Sirius laughed though, at me. I realised that I was wearing my weird sister's tee over a pair of shorts. The tee had '_I like It Weird' _on it. Sirius carried on laughing as he ran down the stairs, Remus followed him bemused, and I hastened to catch up. When we ran into the kitchen, it was full of red heads and boxes. That explained the bang, a box was on its side, its content was spilling out and two red heads were picking it up.

I moved around them to see Molly sitting at the table sobbing on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur looked as if he was about to break something. His jaw was locked and his eyes were blood shot. A girl with long red hair was sitting next to him; with her hand on his back in what I presumed was a soothing manner. The two boys were finished picking up there things and stood up, they were both lanky and identical. They were obviously Fred and George. A boy moved out from behind them.

"Hey Sirius, good to see you mate" he grinned, equally as lanky as the twins, but with a lot more freckles.

"Hey Ron, what's going on? What's happened?" asked Sirius. The boy named Ron turned to his parents but it was the girl who answered.

"Percy has betrayed us. He's always been a power hungry moron but we never thought he'd side with the Ministry over his family" she said with a hiss.

"Don't speak about Percy like that, Ginny" choked Molly.

"She's right though mum, look what he's done to you, to us" said one of the twins sitting down, the other sat next to him. Remus went round to sit by Molly and Sirius sat next to him. Me and Ron stayed standing.

"Molly, Arthur, what happened?" Remus asked.

"Percy arrived home yesterday" answered Arthur "He's been promoted. A junior under Fudge. He expected us to be happy, I think".

"But we weren't" said Ron, I looked at him. "Dad thinks he's only there to spy on the family, and he didn't like that".

"No he didn't like that one bit" said Fred...or George.

"And he said some really nasty things about dad. Blaming him for our lack of money, and saying how he's had to struggle against his reputation at the Ministry".

Arthur spoke up. "He's proving his loyalty to the Ministry, he's abandoned us. He packed his bags and left ". Everyone stared at each other in silence for a long time; I couldn't understand how someone could do that to their family.

"Well Molly I shouldn't worry on it too much" said Remus "the Ministry will have to admit there wrong sooner or later, and he'll come crawling back begging for forgiveness". I could tell he wasn't exactly sure, but he was trying.

"Yeah, don't worry about him! Let's get you all settled in shall we?" perked up Sirius.

I helped Ginny with her cases, and showed her, her room. She looked around her temporary room in interest.

"It's weird here" she mumbled. I laughed.

"Too true. My room has a mirror in it that screeches at me all the time, because it hates my hair. I cleared out this room for you, I'm not going to tell you what I found" I said.

"Hmmm, it's good to have another girl to talk to, besides mum. And I like your hair" she said opening her trunk.

"Thanks and just think of me as Tonks, your new big sister" I giggled going to help her unpack.

"I'd like that" she muttered.

**AH, hello again! Miss me? Lol :D. Your reviews last time made my day and I was happy all night because of it! Please review on this one, whether you think it's good or bad, let me know. It's a bit weird, especially the way tonks finds out about Remus but...it's different? Lol :D Neva mind. Luv ya anywayz, gurugirl. (AM TOTALLY INSANE :p)**


	4. A Little Bit Of Fun

**Chapter 4 :p ...Read on...**

**_Edited: 12/03/11_**

A Little Bit of Fun

It was fun being at Grimmauld place now that the Weasley's had arrived, though I'd hardly been there because the work schedules and guard duties were so tight, the times I had had been a laugh. Especially when the twins wound up the residents. Molly had gone to see Percy earlier this week to try and convince him to come back, but she came back crying saying he had slammed the door in her face. Arthur kept breaking things every time he was brought up, he broke more cups than I normally do, and Molly would start crying, so people began avoiding the subject. The kids on the other hand couldn't be happier. He was there brother but apparently they weren't very fond of him. Now every time I pass him in the corridor, an image of Molly crying comes into my head, and I want to throw something at the bag of his majorly inflated head. I wonder what Arthur does when he sees him?

Kingsley had been dropping in regularly, and I had even picked a location for Sirius, Tibet. I don't know why, I just put my finger on the map and that's where it landed. When I'd told him where he was supposed to be he told me he wished he was. He was getting awfully grumpy, but I didn't blame him and Remus was getting really worried about him too.

Also, a new girl with brown bushy hair had turned up, Hermione, her name was. She was a friend of Ron's. You should have seen his face when she turned up. It went pinker than Umbridges office. She immediately got me discussing metamorphism with her, that girl has a thirst for knowledge that I've never seen before. She was nice but not as fun as Gin.

And Kingsley popping in and out wasn't helping me either. People were getting suspicious as me and Kingsley had never been very close, but now we seemed like best buds. Well, that was the term I'd heard used. But Grimmauld place was now a good escape, I'd barely been back to my flat and had ignored my mail for the last, well nearly two months, I guess. I was losing track of how long I'd been there. It was being cleaned from head to toe by Molly, who seemed to be trying to take her mind off everything, and getting the kids involved so they didn't hear any Order business, though I suspect they have ways of finding stuff out. Ginny had asked me how you know an Imperturbable charm is on a door, I told her but didn't question further. I would probably go there when I got off.

But now I was just walking down the dusty road that was Privet Drive. It was sticky hot outside though there was a gently breeze. I'd gone incognito as a Muggle teenager, and judging by the way people down the road kept staring at me, I was obviously considered riff-raff. The thought made me laugh. Harry had gone inside about half an hour ago, after making me follow him round the block...several times! My feet were killing me and I couldn't wait to go. I was waiting for Sturgus to relieve me.

And as if by thinking about him made him appear, he appeared round the corner and walked towards me settling on the bench.

"You're relieved Tonks, and Molly's making supper after the meeting later, beef stew I believe, so you wouldn't want to miss it" he said squeakily.

"Thanks" I muttered absent minded, before apparating.

Crash! I fell over that stupid troll's leg again. I swear it moves deliberately to block my way and trip me up. Mrs Black starts screaming and the door ahead of me flies open. Sirius barges up to his mother and starts yanking at the curtains, she screams louder. Remus follows but comes up to me and offers his hand. I take it gratefully.

"Thanks" I muttered embarrassed.

"Isn't that the third time this week? You want to be more careful, I don't want to have to take you to St. Mungos" he said seriously, though his eyes told me he was playing.

"Awkward questions?"

"No I just don't like that place, never did" he said.

"Why?"

"Oh, well I was constantly in and out of it when I was younger" I looked at him curiously, "after I was bitten". I went silent. "Sorry I shouldn't have brought that up".

"S'ok" I mumbled. Mrs Black had stopped screaming now and Sirius had disappeared, but there were two angry voices filling the room in front of me. And they were definitely female voices, though I couldn't make out what they were saying or who the voices belonged too.

"What's going on in there?" I asked Remus, walking beside him towards the door. He laughed.

"I believe Molly won't let Ginny go see her boyfriend. She says she's too young for a boyfriend and what with the order and everything. Typical mother daughter stuff I think" he shrugged and chuckled again "but Sirius loves it. He thinks it's hilarious".

I walked into the kitchen as he held opened the door for me. Always the gentlemen.

"You are too young to even have a boyfriend. Look you're not going to see him, that's my final word" said Molly.

"I hate you, you never let me do anything!" screamed Ginny, Sirius stopped laughing. Ginny stomped right past me and Remus and slammed the door. We all stood in silence for a second, and then the door creaked open again.

"I don't hate you mum" mumbled Ginny poking her head round the door, "but I do wish you wouldn't keep treating me like a kid". And then she shut the door. Molly sank into a chair and sighed heavily.

"I don't know what to do with her".

"I'll go up and see her, talk her round" I suggested, Molly nodded. I smiled to Remus and walked out again.

"You've upset your mum, Gin" I said walking into her room. She was sat cross legged on the bed, while Hermione was sat in the corner reading a book.

"I know" she muttered.

"Ginny you can't take it out on your mum, my mum was the same. This place seems to be getting to everyone".

"Yeah, I don't really want to see him desperately, I just wanted to have some breathing space" Ginny said, Hermione put down her book and nodded in agreement.

"Hmmm, ok. Then how would you like to come to my place? We can try out my Muggle styling range" I suggested enthusiastically, Hermione raised her eyebrows.

"Where'd your Muggle stuff from?" she asked in confusion.

"I'm a half blood, my dad's family didn't know about me being a witch so I got loads of Muggle stuff for Christmas and birthdays". Hermione looked impressed, Ginny jumped up.

"Can we go now?"

"Yeah, but quickly. Come on!" I said, and we ran down the stairs. We didn't want to alert anyone too our leaving but Hermione made me leave a Patronus for them. We shut the door quietly and made our way down the street.

"It's just around the corner" I said pointing to a tall block of flats as we turned right, from Grimmauld place. We had to walk up the grimy Muggle staircase as the lifts weren't working and no-one could apparate into my flat, I'd put charms up to prevent it. We were all panting when we got to my door. _Why did I have to pick a flat on the tenth floor? _When we got into the flat they crashed on the sofa, and I went to get the stuff. I had put in on my very top shelf in my room, and knocked a load of clothes onto my head in my effort to get them down.

"Sorry about the mess" I said coming out with a bag of make-up in one hand and several pieces of electrical equipment in the other. Ginny squealed with excitement, but Hermione looked apprehensive. I flicked a switch on the stereo and a Muggle song came on. "Who's first?"

After nearly two hours we looked completely different. I dug up some old clothes and they'd fitted them perfectly. Hermione now wore a sunshine yellow t-shirt with my old skinny jeans and black pumps. Her hair was perfectly straight (that took forever) and she had buttercup slides in it. Her make-up was simple and pretty.

Ginny on the other hand had crimped and curled her hair. She wore a stripy black and white top, a black leather jacket and mini skirt. Along with black high heels that had twisted my ankle the last, and only, time I'd worn them.

Ginny had dressed me up in cowgirl boots that nearly came up to my knees! They weren't supposed to but I was short. Then she made me wear fish net tights (I was feeling daring when I bought them) underneath a denim mini skirt. I had a pink tank top on which felt a bit small but I didn't complain. Ginny was happy and Hermione was finally lightening up.

When we got back to Grimmauld place it was a different story. I hadn't realised how late it was, but I could hear Dumbledore in the kitchen and knew I was late for a meeting. I'd totally forgotten, so I ushered the girls upstairs and managed to make my way down the hall without tripping over anything. I knocked on the door and moved silently into the room.

"Sorry I'm late Professor Dumbledore" I felt like a school girl again, being late for detention, or class, or both. I looked over a Remus and Sirius, and then snorted a laugh. They were both sitting with their mouths wide open and their eyes bugging out. I felt flattered by Remus's stares but a little freaked out by Sirius's. Dumbledore cleared his throat, and I went and took the spare seat next to Remus. Dumbledore continued and I saw Remus scribbling something down on the paper in front of him. Then he nudged me with it.

_You look stunning_

_Thanks! You should see the girls, and the looks we got from strangers! _I passed it back. He muttered 'I bet' in my ear, and sent shivers down my spine. I turned my attention to Dumbledore to hide my blush.

"Now, on and off throughout the year, Remus will be visiting some werewolves to find out their views and try to persuade them to join our cause before Lord Voldemort gets to them. Hagrid as you know has gone to see the giants, to offer a hand of friendship. We have not yet had any news back, though Severus informed me only this morning that Voldemort has sent followers to the giants as well." Everyone went quiet.

"Now, if there's nothing more I'll take my leave. If any of you would like to know, I'm a barmy old codger as you can see in the daily profit on page six" he said, a couple of people laughed. He swept out of the room, several others left as well.

"Well, Dora! Who are you trying to impress?" said Sirius.

"Nobody, Ginny thought I'd look good in this" I said simply, giving Molly an apologetic glance for stealing her daughter, but she smiled brightly back. I considered myself of the hook, at least until Ginny came down.

"She was right" said Remus. I blushed crimson and hid in my hair. I heard the door open.

"Now Remus, don't you be hitting on my baby cousin" smirked Sirius as I looked up, Remus looked down. I heard him mumble to Sirius to shut up, and I laughed. Ron was pulling out a chair in front of us and gesturing Hermione to sit in it. She looked delighted, and mouthed '_thanks!' _across the table at me. Ginny came to sit next to her, but Ron jumped in the seat so she moved to the other side.

Molly commented that Ginny looked very grown-up, and Ginny beamed wide. I entertained as usual by taking request and transforming my features to the amusement of the kids. They especially like the pig's nose.

"You're really good with children" whispered Remus in my ear, half way through tea. When I left that night he gave me a big hug and said he hoped to see me soon. Sirius said it was for my looks and Remus had punched him. I didn't care, but I didn't like these boot's anymore either.

**Ok so this is a bit of a light, fluffy chapter. But next chapter will be the rescue mission, so I wanted something here that was different. And here's a little bit of flirting on Remus's part. If I'm honest, I didn't like this chapter as much as the others I've wrote. You don't have to review if you don't want to. But it would be nice if u did. Tips appreciated! ~gurugirl**


	5. Big problem

**Okay, let me apologize in**** advance, this is a very long chapter! I'm sorry but I wanted to get everything in. I was shocked when I saw how many words this was. But here it is...chapter 5. Quick thank you too Yvonne park, felixlee14, Marie chontelle, and E.G Potter for reviewing on the last chapter. This is for you! **

******_Edited: 12/03/11_**  


Big Problem

The Ministry was empty, well mainly. I was the only Auror left in the department that I was aware of. All the junior cubicles were empty, but the top Aurors were probably still in their offices. I let my mind drift from my paperwork on false allegations, to something more important. _Remus. _Okay, so maybe this was only important to me but I didn't care. He'd be getting back today from his first 'adventure' as Sirius put it. He'd been away for a couple of days and I was anxious with worry, though I'd been assured he'd be okay, but it didn't help.

Suddenly there was a bang and my door swung open, making me jump off my chair in fright. Kingsley stood there, his eyes wide with horror.

"I've just heard Harry's been expelled from Hogwarts for performing magic. Dumbledore's trying to sort it and Sirius is writing to Harry! I'm going to find out what's going on, but Dumbledore said as soon as he's sorted it, I'm too give you the message and your to go to Grimmauld place. It'll look less suspicious if you walk out of the Ministry. So you're going to have to stay here a bit longer Tonks" he said with an apologetic face, and then vanished. I blinked.

Okay, so who was meant to be keeping an eye on him tonight? Think Dora think! Mundungus! Lazy little sneak thief must have snuck off or something. Dumbledore wanted to avoid this, ooooh Mundungus would be in trouble.

And so I waited. And I waited. Fifth teen minutes later a memo dropped onto my desk. I immediately knew what it was and opened it.

_Its okay, Dumbledore has persuaded minister to give Harry a trial which is to be held at 12am, on the twelfth of August. Get to Grimmauld and start working out with anyone there, how were getting Harry out._

_~Kingsley_

I scurried out of my office, heading for the floo. It was risky, but as long as I wouldn't be overheard I could use it to get there. They weren't being watched, yet. They might be in the future. I jumped in one, the place really was deserted.

"Grimmauld place" I whispered dropping the powder into the fire. I was now spinning, fast. Really fast, and I started feeling dizzy. But I started slowing and then stopped facing Grimmauld place's kitchen. It seemed everyone was there. I stepped dizzily out of the fireplace and fell onto the floor. Two sets of hands pulled me up.

Everyone turned to stare at me. "Harry isn't expelled, yet. He has to have a hearing on the twelfth of August. Dumbledore says we need to come up with a plan to get him out before then". I turned to the person still with their hand on my arm. It was Remus.

"Remus" I cried, hugging him. Nobody but him took any noticed my outcry, they were too busy talking about plans. He beamed at me.

"It's good to see you too" he chuckled, and we went to sit down.

"Well we need to lure the Muggles out of the house first. Can't do Nothing till there out of the way" grumbled Moody. His glass eye was looking straight at me. "Any bright ideas?" People started shaking their heads, and I noticed the kids were down and at the table too.

"Well" I said and everyone looked towards me "there really snobby down there. All perfect and proper if you get me. Well maybe we could say they've won a competition to do with how perfect there, mm, garden is?" Saying this out loud made it sound stupid, but everyone else seemed to like the idea.

"Yes, that could work. What about an 'All England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition'?" asked Remus from beside me?

"Yes, and we could send it by Muggle post to make it seem more _real_" said Molly.

"Perfect, I'll get onto Dumbledore. Remus, Nymphadora you can write the letter as it was your idea and you can be part of the rescue party. I'll go see Dumbledore and think of a plan to get _Him _out".

Me and Remus had been sitting in the drawing room for over an hour and hadn't managed to put anything down on paper, though we weren't really trying. We'd got talking about our school days and lost track of things.

"No really, Sirius did it" Remus was saying choking with laughter "Lily got a shock when he snogged her like that. She was probably traumatized! And James was furious".

"Oh my god! I can't believe he'd do that. At school I got dared to kiss Charlie Weasley and he was going out with my mate Amy at the time. I had to hide from her for the rest of the day" I said laughing, he chuckled too.

Sirius poked his head round the door. "You two finished that letter yet?" We both looked at the blank paper.

"Uh-oh" we both said in unison. "We got a bit side tracked" I said.

"Well get on with it, we need it done a.s.a.p." he growled. He was always touchy when it came too his godson.

"It's harder than you think, why don't you write it?" I snapped. Remus looked carefully between the two of us. Sirius shrugged and sat down, taking the paper and a quill. Five minutes later he put down the quill and handed us the paper. It was impressive, persuasive, realistic and believable. I gawped at him.

"I was always good at writing fake letters" he said simply, though there was a hint of pride in his voice. I looked at Remus and he nodded in confirmation.

"See Sirius, you are useful" he said, Sirius stuck out his tongue. "Well let's get this enveloped and posted". We all exited the drawing room.

"So were all clear on the plan?" asked Mad-eye for the sixteenth time tonight. I was counting. We were standing at the window in Abrella Figg's house, watching the Dursleys place, waiting for them to leave.

"Yes Mad-Eye we know it" said the calm voice of Remus Lupin from beside me. I looked out the net curtains again and saw the Dursley's getting into their car. I nudged Remus, who told everyone in the room.

"Okay, we'll wait a little while longer, and then enter through the back garden" said Moody; I clutched my broom tighter, which had a bulky harness on it for his luggage. Remus winked at me. I blushed again.

We moved across the road and went round the back of their house. We were under the disillusion charm, as a band of wizards clutching brooms, crossing a road in a Muggle district wouldn't have looked good. We dumped our brooms in the garden and walked up to the door.

"Alohomora" muttered Mad-eye pointing his wand at the lock. There was a click and the door swung open. We moved silently through the living room/kitchen and all was going well until CRASH! I knocked a cabinet and a china plate crashed to the ground. Moody growled, others tutted.

We went up the stairs to find a tall scruffy looking boy at the top of the landing with his wand pointed at us.

"Lower your wand boy, before you take some ones eye out" growled Moody from beside me.

"Professor Moody?" asked Harry nervously.

"I don't know much about 'Professor', never got round too much teaching, did I? Get down here, we want to see you properly" he growled. Harry didn't relax, I didn't blame him, and Moody was scary at times.

"It's all right, Harry. We've come to take you away" said Remus.

P-Professor Lupin?" he asked "Is that you?" This was getting ridiculous.

"Why are we standing in the dark?" I said, "_Lumos". _Now I could see. Yay! "Oooh he looks just like I thought he would. Wotcher Harry". The others started commenting on his features too.

"Are you quite sure it's him, Lupin?" growled Moody, always suspicious. "It'd be a nice lookout if we bring back a death eater impersonating him. We ought to ask him something only the real Potter would know. Unless anyone brought any veritaserum?"

"Harry, what form does your Patronus take?" Asked Remus.

"A stag" Harry answered nervously.

"That's him Mad-eye" said Remus. Harry started descending the stairs stowing his wand in his back pocket as he went. Moody grumbled something about losing a buttock.

"Who'd you know who's lost a buttock?" I asked trying to lighten the mood. He just grumbled something about elementary wand law. I rolled my eyes but he caught me. Mad-eyes annoying see all eye. Remus started greeting Harry as the others shuffled off into the kitchen, I followed. I heard Harry mumble something about us being lucky that the Dursleys were out.

"Lucky, ha!" I said "It was me who lured them out. Sent a letter by Muggle post telling them they'd been short listed for the All-England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition. They're heading off to the prize giving right now...or they think they are". I saw Harry smile at bit at that.

I wasn't paying notice to what they were saying until Remus called me Nymphadora.

"Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus" I said shuddering "it's Tonks".

Nymphadora Tonks, who prefers to be known by her last name only" he finished.

_Git. _"So would you if your fool of a mother had named you Nymphadora" I muttered turning towards the shelves and examining how unnaturally clean they were while Remus introduced him to everyone else.

"Very clean, aren't they, these Muggles?" I said staring around the kitchen in interest. "My dad's Muggle born and he's a right old slob. I suppose it varies, just as it does with wizards?" He just answered 'yeah' and turned back to Remus. He was about to say Voldemort when people started squeaking. Moody actually told him to shut up.

"Were not explaining anything here, it's too risky". "_Damn"_ he said as his eye got stuck, he pulled it out with a squelching sound.

"Mad-eye you do know that's disgusting, don't you?" I said conversationally. He ignored me, why am I not surprised. Harry went to get him a glass of water, and while no-one was looking, Remus stuck out his tongue at me. I did it back quickly, but I think Emmeline saw me. She didn't look impressed. I offered to help Harry pack just too get out of there.

"Funny place" I said "bit too clean, d'you know what I mean. Bit unnatural. Oh, this is better" I added walking into his room. Everything was everywhere and nothing had a place, a bit like my flat. Harry started packing books and clothes and I turned to the mirror on his wardrobe.

"You know, I don't think violets really my colour" I said tugging at a lock of hair. "D'you think it makes me look a bit peaky?"

"Errr"

"Yeah, it does" I said decisively, screwing up my face and turning my hair bubble gum pink.

"How did you do that?" Said Harry, gawping at me.

"I'm a metamorphmagus" I said admiring my hair, he looked blank. "It means I can change my appearance at will, I got top marks in concealment and disguise in Auror training without any study at all, it was great".

"You're an Auror?" He said sounding impressed.

"Yeah, Kingsley is as well, he's a bit higher up than me, though. I only qualified a year ago. Nearly failed on stealth and tracking. I'm dead clumsy; did you hear me break that plate when we arrived downstairs?"

"Can you learn how to be a Metamorphmagus?" he asked, losing interest in packing. I laughed.

"Bet you wouldn't mind hiding that scar sometimes, eh?" I asked, my eyes doing an involuntary flick to his forehead.

"No I wouldn't mind" he muttered turning away. I cursed myself inwardly for looking at his scar and making him feel uncomfortable, so I began rambling to cover myself.

"Well you'll have to learn the hard way, I'm afraid" I said "Metamorphmagi are born, not made. Most wizards need a wand, or, potion, to change their appearance. But we've got to get going Harry, we're supposed to be packing" I added guiltily. He grabbed a few books. "Don't be stupid, it'll be quicker if I just-pack!" I cried waving my wand. Everything fell in in a heap. I tried to make the socks fold but it didn't work. I slammed the lid shut and removed some rubbish from the bottom of his owl's cage.

"Right-got everything? Cauldron? Broom? Wow-A Firebolt?" I said enviously, "I'm still riding a comet two-sixty. Ah well...wand in your jeans? Both buttocks still on? Ok, let's go. _Locomotor trunk." _I carried his cage and maneuvered his trunk downstairs back into the kitchen. Remus looked up as we came in.

"Excellent" he said "we've got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry-"

"They won't" said Harry.

"-that your safe-"

"That'll just depress them".

"-and you'll see them next summer".

"Do I have to?" asked Harry, I giggled behind my hand but Remus didn't answer.

"Come here boy" said Moody gruffly, "I need to disillusion you". Harry sounded nervous and winced as Mad-Eye rapped him hard on the head with his wand.

"Nice one, Mad-eye" I said appreciatively, staring at Harry's midriff. They all stepped out into the garden. I began strapping Harry's trunk to my broom as Mad-eye told Harry what to do if we all got killed. The boy sounded nervous.

"Stop being so cheerful Mad-eye, he'll think we're not taking this seriously" I said finally securing his trunk and cage.

"I'm just telling the boy the plan" growled Moody "Our jobs to deliver him safely to headquarters and if we die in the attempt-"

"No one's going to die" interjected Kingsley in a calming voice.

"Mount your broom, that's the first signal" said Remus sharply, pointing towards the sky. "Second signal, let's go". I kicked off hard from the ground; I could feel Harrys load swinging from below my broom.

The wind was up and it was a chilly night, but I loved too fly. Soaring through the air, free as a bird. I took Mad-eye's instructions with ease until he told me to go through clouds. I was freezing already. I didn't want to get soaked.

"We're not going through clouds! We'll get soaked, Mad-eye" I shouted.

And then a little while later, too top it off he said "We ought to double back for a bit, just to make sure were not being followed".

"ARE YOU MAD, MAD-EYE?" I screamed "We're all frozen on our brooms! If we keep going off-course we're not going to get there until next week! Beside, we're nearly there now!"

"Time to start the descent!" shouted Remus from below. "Follow Tonks, Harry" he said as I dived.

"Here we go!" I called as I landed, Harry was a few seconds behind me, and he looked stuck to his broom. I started unbuckling his trunk; Remus came to help me after he muttered something to Harry.

"Mad-eye doesn't think, does he?" I snarled under my breath as Moody started shoving something at Harry.

"I shouldn't worry about it" whispered Remus.

The meeting was over, thank god. I had Emmeline giving me evils the whole way through it. I was about to sit down in between Remus and Sirius when she jumped in the way. I had to sit next to Minerva and Severus. And Sirius was rattled tonight because Snape kept commenting on his housework as usual. I seriously thought Sirius would curse him. Dumbledore had changed our meeting times around and had placed us all over the place, using maps of the ministry building.

I was out in the hall holding open the door for the leaving members. Most said goodbye, wishing me well and such. Snape said nothing, _Git. _And last to leave was Emmeline. She walked straight past me but I ran out onto the steps in a spare of the moment decision.

"What's wrong with you?" I called.

"I don't like you" she said simply before walking off. My jaw dropped, and I turned around. Remus was standing by the door beckoning me in. I ran back in side and we bolted the door. He looked at me curiously; obviously he'd seen me and Emmeline. I shrugged and walked over to see Molly. The kids were coming down. Crash! I landed on my arse again, because of that stupid umbrella stand.

"Tonks" cried Molly in exasperation.

"I'm sorry" I said to the ceiling. "It's that stupid umbrella stand, that's the second time I've tripped over-" I was about to say 'today' but my words were drowned out by Mrs Black's blood-curdling screech. Remus and Molly darted over and started yanking at the curtains surrounding her painting.

"_Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, are gone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers-" _I apologized again, dragging myself off the floor and kicking the umbrella stand back into place. Sirius ran out of the door in front of me, heading straight for the painting. Molly had given up and had started stunning the other paintings.

"Shut up you old hag, shut UP!" roared Sirius at his mother, it would have been amusing if it hadn't been me who'd caused it.

"_Yooou! Blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh!" _she cried. It was the same thing every time.

"I said - shut - UP!" roared Sirius again, and him and Remus managed to close the curtains. The screams died down and Sirius turned to Harry. "Hello, Harry. I see you've met my mother".

Harry was speaking too Sirius but I had no chance to listen as a hand dragged me back. They moved me down the hall. Remus looked down at me.

"What's up between you and Emmeline?" he asked.

"Nothing" I answered shortly, walking down the corridor but he caught up.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Remus it's nothing. Just forget it" he seemed to deliberate as we neared the door.

"Ok, I'll believe you" he said.

"But you aren't gonna let this go are you?"

"Nope" he said smiling; I rolled my eyes as he gave me a one armed hug. I pushed open the door and found Harry standing right in front of me. I moved around him a bit.

"Journey all right, Harry?" Bill was saying, gathering up scrolls "Mad-eye didn't make you come via Greenland, then?"

"He tried" I said striding over to help him, but instead I toppled a candle "Oh no, sorry". Molly snapped at Bill though she sighed at me, my clumsiness was really getting out of hand. Molly got even more worked up when Mundungus lit his pipe, though I liked Dung. I used to visit him when I was a kid. _Uncle Dungy. _I turned my attention to Molly before asking "What can I do Molly?"

She seemed hesitant, but I'm not surprised. "Er - no, it's all right, Tonks, you have a rest too, you've done enough today".

"No, no, I want to help" I said jumping up and knocking over a chair. Not looking at anyone I hurried over to Ginny to get the cutlery.

"Hey Gin" I whispered.

"Hey Tonks, how was the meeting?" she whispered innocently, I fought a giggle.

"All I'll tell you is that it was boring, until Sirius decided he wanted to kill Snape and we had to restrain him" Ginny laughed.

"So what you been telling Harry?" I asked.

"Just what we know. House work and Percy leaving which he seemed pretty-" but her words were cut off by Molly.

"Fred - George - NO, JUST CARRY THEM!" shrieked Molly. We both spun around in time to see Mundungus, Sirius and Harry dive away from the bottom end of the table as a pot of stew skidded down the table towards them, a flagon of butter beer crashed to the floor and a bread knife landed point down in the place where Sirius's right hand had been a few seconds before. Ginny and I laughed along with most of the kids and Sirius. But then again, Sirius was just a big kid.

"FOR HEAVENS SAKE" she screamed "THERE WAS NO NEED - I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS - JUST BECAUSE YOUR ALLOWED TO DO MAGIC NOW DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO WHIP YOUR WANDS OUT FOR EVERY LITTLE THING!" Fred mumbled something I couldn't hear, as Mundungus dragged himself up from the floor. But what Molly said next was heard.

"None of your brothers caused this sort of trouble. Bill didn't feel the need to apparate every few feet! Charlie didn't charm everything he met! Percy-" she stopped dead.

"Let's eat" said Bill quickly, and I jumped into a chair in front of Ginny and Hermione.

"It looks wonderful Molly" said Remus, quickly serving some up and passing it too her. Then he passed some to me. Ginny and Hermione raised their eyebrows at me as they got their own, but I ignored them. I screwed up my nose after a mouthful, turning it into a bill. Hermione looked up and burst out laughing.

"What about a Snape one?" asked Ginny? I obliged and they fell about laughing. I took another mouthful. Then I changed it button size and made it spout hair which was incredibly uncomfortable.

"Do that one like a pig snout, Tonks" requested Hermione. I changed it and grinned over at Harry who was looking at me in interest. He smiled back. Meal time went on pretty much like this, though I stopped transforming to finish my stew and chat randomly with the girls. I also eased dropped on other people's conversations. Bill, Remus and Arthur were discussing goblins and Mundungus was telling the stories about his business deals. Hermione muttered '_They never grow up' _under her breath and I had to laugh.

I couldn't eat any rhubarb crumble so I sat lounging watching everyone else. Remus smiled at me once and I blushed, hastily looking away. Ginny instantly gave me another look, which again I ignored. Once they were finished Molly suggested bed but Sirius had other ideas.

"You know, I'm surprised at you" he said talking to Harry "I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort". Everyone was suddenly alert and the atmosphere tense. And so the conversation began...

"I want you in bed, now. All of you" snapped Molly, unseen from the doorway. I hadn't noticed she'd come back in.

"You can't boss us-" Fred began.

"Watch me" she snarled before turning to glare at Sirius. "You've given Harry plenty of information. Anymore and you might as well just induct him into the order straight away".

"Why not" said Harry quickly "I'll join, I want to join, I want to fight".

"No" It was Remus who spoke up this time. "The Order is comprised only of overage wizards, wizards who have left school" he added for Fred and George. "There dangers involved of which you can have no idea, any of you...I think Molly's right Sirius. We've said enough". Sirius shrugged, he wouldn't argue with his best friend. The kids went upstairs followed by Molly.

"Mind if I crash here Sirius?" I yawned "I don't fancy going back to my flat".

"Sure, do what you want" he said mildly, I sighed.

"Don't worry, he's just in a mood with Molly, he'll snap out of it" said Remus taking another swig of wine.

"Well I think it's time to turn in, night all" said Sirius slouching out of the room, Arthur followed once Molly had come down and they left together. I left with Remus, we walked in silence through the house too the second floor rooms. I could hear Sirius stomping around in his room and paused. Remus turned to look at me.

"He'll be fine Nymphadora" he said reassuringly "Night". He walked into his room, smiled once at me and shut the door. I went into mine not even remembering to tell him to NOT call me Nymphadora.

**Ok, so this was long, but it's out of the way. *phew*. Anyone see Half Blood Prince yet? I saw it a couple of hours ago! First showing at my cinema! Tell me what you thought of the film and my chapter! Gurugirl bids you farewell for now, xxxx.**


	6. A Seriously Bad Day

**Hey, here's the next chapter. Have checked my two, to and too's. (Have hardly any TOO's left). Those of you who don't know what that means don't worry. I've redone this chapter twice now I think, adding as much detail as possible. Please let me know if it's ok. Quick thanks to my shinning reviewers Yvonne park, Kuri333, Eagles girl, Future NYPD and HBP Fan, watin77 and Marie Chontelle.**

**_Edited: 12/03/11_**

Seriously Bad Day

"Sirius, stop poking me" grumbled Remus sleepily. It was two o' clock in the morning, which was ridiculously early, and I hadn't really thought about that. Yet to call me Sirius!

"I'm not Sirius! And may I say I'm quite insulted" I whispered, his eyes snapped open.

"Nymphadora? What are you doing in here?"

"Well..."

_**Flashback**_

_"Ummm...stop tickling my feet!" I mumbled, annoyed at whoever was doing it. It was early in the morning and I did not appreciate being woken up this early. But whatever, or whoever, it was continued to tickle me and said nothing in reply, I was really pissed off now. I threw back the sheets and glared at the end of my bed, ready to shout or kick them, whatever came first, only to find..._

_A spider! It was at least 3 feet long, with eight hair legs, and eight gooey white eyes looking at me. I squealed and jumped out of bed, tripping over a floor board and stubbing my toe in a rush to get to the door. I yanked the door open and hopped to the next room, trying not to put my throbbing toe on the floor. I left the door wide open as I ran into the next room which happened to be Remus's room._

_I opened his door then slammed it shut behind me. I looked at my toe which was bleeding slightly from the scrape. I wiped of some of the blood, and gingerly put my foot back on the floor. I hobbled awkwardly over to Remus, who, despite the noise that I had made, didn't stir. He must have been a heavy sleeper, the totally opposite to me. I decided I would poke him awake..._

_**End Flashback**_

"Oh" he said unenthusiastically, before shutting his eyes again. I jabbed him harder. "Ow".

"Please go kill it, please" I begged pouting. He raised his eyebrows and shook his head. I placed my hands on my hips and glared at him. He recoiled slightly as my hair turned red.

"I'm not in a spider slaying mood right now, it's is still really early, Tonks" he said hurriedly, a small smile playing on his lips. "Why don't you sleep in my bed?"

"Excuse me?" I spluttered, blinking several times and wondering if I'd heard correctly.

"No, no, I didn't mean that!" he quickly amended himself, blushing. "I meant you can take my bed and I'll take the chair in the corner, and in the morning I will kill the spider". He pointed to the chair; it did not look inviting at all. It was made of some sort of wood, and though it was a strain to see it in the dim light, I could tell it wouldn't be at all comfortable.

"Hmmm, what about a compromise then? Why don't we top and tail, but you have to promise to kill the spider as soon as we wake up?" I quickly added. I could see him roll his eyes.

"Deal, now can I go back to sleep now?" he asked lying down; I jumped into the bottom of the bed and lent against the post.

"Yep, night" I said, but he raised an eyebrow at me, "what?" I asked.

"Are you going to be comfortable like that?" he asked.

"Yes, now go to sleep!" he shook his head and turned off the light. In all honesty I was terribly uncomfortable. The pole was digging into my back, and more than once, I swear I felt something move inside it. I slid down the post and pulled up the covers more. The last thing I remember is listening to Remus snoring, before actually drifting off myself.

"Morning my beauties!" trilled Sirius as he bounded on the bed, on top of me. He decided to plant his big bum on my head, and it smacked the hard mattress as he jumped on it. I was completely under the covers now

"Ouch Sirius, get off" I said shoving him on the floor; he landed with a loud bang that echoed round the room. I laughed at his cursing.

"You know little cousin, that wasn't very nice! If you do it again I'll have to disown you" he said in mock seriousness.

"Oh wouldn't that be a loss" I mumbled, poking my head out too see. Remus was sitting against the headboard rubbing his eyes; he looked seriously grumpy but smiled when he saw me looking. Sirius picked himself up off the floor and bounded back onto the bed, luckily he didn't squish any body parts this time.

"You know Remus, I never had Tonks down as your type..." he never finished his sentence as a pillow from Remus hit him straight in the face and he fell back on the floor. I laughed heartily as Remus took a mock bow. Sirius glared at Remus who grabbed the pillow next to him and held it up threateningly. I looked at the wall clock, only to get a shock when it read 5:30! I pointed at the clock, and Remus looked at it too. Then he really did chuck the other pillow at my mad cousin.

"Sirius, you really are a pain in the arse" he said irritably.

"Bite me" Sirius teased, grinding his teeth together. I cringed at the sound.

"Don't tempt me" Remus grumbled, Sirius chuckled. Remus closed his eyes and made to lie down, but instead he whacked his head on the head board. He rubbed his head and Sirius laughed, and I tried to hide a snigger.

"S'not funny" he said.

"It is" said Sirius.

"It's not" Remus retaliated; he looked quite annoyed as he folded his arms across each other. Sirius looked as though he was about to say something else.

"It is a little bit funny" I interjected, before Sirius could even open his mouth.

"Mm... so anyway, moving on. Why is my little cousin in your bed, Moony?" asked Sirius to Remus, who now had his eyes closed and had his hand on his head. He said nothing, Sirius shrugged and bounded on top of him.

"Bugger off Sirius!" He muttered rolling over, to great effect, Sirius fell off again. He then went and poked Remus, who wasn't taking the bait. He wasn't even moving, apart from the steady rhythm of his chest, I was sort of transfixed on it. I quickly snapped out of it though and looked at Sirius, who waggling his eyebrows suggestively. I stuck out my tongue in childish retaliation, and then slipped out of bed and stood up, stretching my arms that had become stiff while I was sleeping.

"So, little cousin, why were you in Moony's bed? Since we're not going to get a response out of him" he inquired.

"There was a spider in my bed!" I said simply, shrugging.

"So you decided to come wake Remus up, rather than come and see me, who was up all night?" he said with raised eyebrows, like he knew something I didn't. I was confused but I just sighed and overlooked it, like so much else that I overlooked.

"Well as I'm awake, I think I'll go into work early, see what's happening" I said walking past him, any excuse to get away from Sirius and his eyebrows! I opened the door, which creaked all the way open and just as I closed the door behind me, I heard Remus mutter "Spider". I suddenly remembered and looked in my room cautiously; the spider was nowhere to be seen.

I quickly slipped on my robes and searched for my wand in my desk draw, it was a fairly new wand, as I had an accident just before I started Auror training and my old one got snapped. I used to keep the pieces in a jar on my windowsill, but I knocked that off and it smashed. Just thinking about it reminds me of how clumsy I can be.

I walked towards the mirror and changed my hair blue, but as I turned to walk away it muttered "Try a normal colour, mutant freak".

"And why would I want to do that?" I asked pleasantly.

"Because then you could pass as normal, in looks anyway. And please stop looking at me, you'll make my precious glass shatter" it replied in false sweetness. It reminded me of someone else I knew.

"It will be shattered to tiny little pieces when I take my fist, and punch you with it" I growled. It scoffed at me. _Walk away Tonks, just walk away._

I laughed at myself as I ran down the stairs. I went as quietly as I could, jumped over the troll leg umbrella stand and headed straight for the door. I hadn't even bothered with breakfast; my guess was that I would be hungry by ten.

I was starving! My stomach was making really loud grumbling noises and people had started searching for the source. I was sitting in my untidy little office, paperwork spread out on every surface that I really did not want to do and there was a pink note pinned up on my wall, not of my own choice, but I couldn't get it down no matter how hard I tried.

It was pinned up and read the same thing's that the other posters around the Ministry did, that if you were in league with Dumbledore, you were sacked. That was just if you were lucky. A new note had been distributed and stuck on the bottom of the poster like a footnote, from the old toad herself. If you were deemed too far in with Dumbledore, too loyal to him and too much of a 'traitor' in the Ministry's eyes, like I was, you could face criminal charges and a stretch in Azkaban. I shivered when I read the note.

During training I'd had to visit that place to see how I would cope. It was safe to say that it didn't go to well. I couldn't take it when they came to close. I kept remembering the same horrible stuff over and over again. Sirius's picture in the paper when he was being carted off to Azkaban. My first day at Hogwarts when I was attacked for being related to the Blacks. The day my best friend nearly drowned in the lake. The same stupid stuff that repeated themselves before my eyes. And to add to it I felt like I was in one of those Muggle freezers and that I would never be happy again, eternally miserable. I had to be literally dragged out of that place, and wished never to go back. It was the scariest thing I'd ever had to deal with.

But now I could do a proper patronus, and was much tougher. But even so, I wouldn't have a wand in Azkaban and even if I did, I wouldn't have the strength to keep going. The thought of those ghastly hands, the flesh unlike flesh, the tinge to it and those crooked fingers. And the hood, I wished never to see under it. The thought made me shiver again.

Kingsley had come in earlier to ask how I was doing, which didn't help, because when I tried to reply I couldn't find my voice. I knew I was doing what was right, and that I was careful enough not to get caught, but he obviously thought I was going to pull out of the Order. He knew from my training records that I handled Azkaban badly, and said that if I didn't want to do it anymore, everyone would understand. But I couldn't do it, even if I wanted to walk away that would make the Ministry's threats work. It would do exactly what they wanted it to.

I wasn't going anywhere.

"Hello" came a voice from the door. I jumped out of my reeve and turned around, but it was only Arthur. "Snuffles said you left without breakfast, so Molly sent you this" he whispered holding up a paper bag, and then raising his voice "And make sure you get it to me by the end of your shift".

"No problem, Mr Weasley" I said, trying to contain my laughter at the authority in his voice. "Thank you and I'll thank Molly tonight. I am starving but nobody's allowed to leave there cubicles till lunch" I whispered grimly.

"Yes, I think I might be being followed, not a surprise really, everyone knows Fudge has it in for me. Anyway, we'll just have to be more careful" he said in a deadly low voice that I could hardly hear him, he looked over the top of the cubicle to check no-one was listening in. "I better go" he whispered and then he left. I opened the bag, there were two bacon rolls, still warm, a cartoon of orange juice and...A mars bar? That was probably Sirius; he knows I have a sweet tooth.

I ripped open the wrapper of my mars bar and took a bite. I leant back on my chair, my eyes closed as I savoured the nougat goodness. Until I leant back a little too far and fell in a heap amongst paperwork. I sighed and picked up the first file that caught my eye. It was labelled 'Dark Creatures'. I had been given these files to rewrite where ink had faded and mice had chewed it, it was like being back in detention at Hogwarts. I opened it too find a description of werewolves and a list of known werewolves in Britain.

I gasped when I saw Remus's name was at the top of the 'Highly Dangerous' list. And I knew the handwriting, it made my blood boil. She had added footnotes to certain sentences, such as, when it said '_The otherwise sane and normal wizard transforms into a murderous beast' _Umbridge had written a comment saying _'Lycanthropy affects the wizard's brain turning them highly dangerous in every form. Therefore, they should not be allowed to work with public for normal wizards safety'._

I knew it wasn't my fault, and I couldn't do anything about it but for the rest of my day, I felt guilty while writing up how dangerous and horrible werewolves were, and how we must avoid them, shun them from the wizarding world. I kept picturing Remus face when he stuck his tongue out at me over the table, I had laughed. Remus was normal, he was more of a gentleman than any of the men in the Ministry, and it wasn't fair.

Many hours past and at last I had finished my work. I looked at the clock; it read _10:32pm._ My mouth opened in horror, and then it shut again in annoyance at how long I'd slaved behind this desk, copying out old records. The record that I'd just finished had taken me the best part of three hours to write, and I didn't even stop for a break. I looked at the other records I needed to copy and sighed, it wasn't fair that I had to do this when I was fully trained. I grabbed my jacket and made my way out of the cubicle, I wouldn't be doing any more writing tonight. The corridor was silent, because most people had gone home for the night.

My shoes squeaked noisily on the newly polished floor. They always cleaned when people had left at night, and I felt like making their job harder by deliberately leaving scuff marks on the floor, but I resisted temptation, and arrived at the lift. When the lifts door clanked opened I immediately wished I could get in a different lift, because what awaited me wasn't pleasant. Percy Weasley was standing there taking notes to something the Minister was saying.

I stepped into the elevator and press the button, the door clanked shut. I hoped the Minister would ignore me, like always, but I was unfortunate enough to be noticed tonight. The Minister peered at me.

"Miss Tonks" he said tonelessly.

"Minister" I replied hurriedly, listening to the elevator music with more interest than humanly possible.

"Have you met my young _personal_ assistant, Mr Weasley, Miss Tonks?" he asked smugly.

"Oh yes, I met him the other day while I was visiting his mother" I lied cheerily. The lift stopped on my floor. The Ministers eyes bugged and he glared at Percy. I thought back a laugh as I exited the lift.

"I-I-I..." Percy stuttered, dropping his quill.

"Well, goodbye Minister, Percy" I called as the lift doors closed again. I ran towards the entrance, cackling with laughter as I went, my sides were aching from the mixture of running and laughing. I stopped laughing when I got outside, however, to find it was raining buckets, and large thunder clouds were rolling across the sky.

I ran around the corner and down several streets. A fork of lightning shot across the sky, the rain was blinding me, and a couple of girls screamed as loud clap of thunder sounded from above. I soon ran across the square, and up Grimmauld Place's steps, stumbling more than I ever had before and burst through the door. The lamps were flickering as I shut the door and walked down the hall, my boots were squeaking and my clothes were sticking to me. My hair was soaked and dripping water down the back of my neck.

I pushed open the drawing room door, shivering and breathing heavily, to find Sirius was sitting on a chair asleep and Remus staring into the fire. He looked up when I walked in, and then began laughing. Sirius stirred groggily from his drunken sleep.

"Dora, why are you that wet?" asked Remus, smirking.

"It was raining" I replied sharply, plonking myself in the seat nearest him and the fire. "And don't call me Dora! It's Tonks".

"Well, I knew that, but did it ever occur to you that you have a wand? And I like your name, it suits you" he chuckled. I rolled my eyes before really registering what he'd said. I slapped my palm to my forehead in frustration._ Of course, I could have apparated! _I checked my pocket, my wand wasn't there. _Must have left it on my desk, Bugger!_

"Great, just perfect! First I get a spider in my bed, then I forget breakfast and then I get stuck re-writing stupid nonsense files, then I forget about my wand and get soaked. And I'm cold and hungry! This has been a seriously bad day!" I groaned. Hot air suddenly surrounded me and I was immediately dry, though still slightly cold. Remus stood up and put a hand on my shoulder, looking down at me with a kind smile. It made me think of the records.

"I'll go warm up some of Molly's stew for you" he said, I whisper '_thanks'_, before he left the room. The guilt came flooding back even though I'd told myself not to feel guilty. It wasn't my fault after all. Sirius was sitting up now. I rubbed my head in frustration, yawned and snuggled up with a pillow from the sofa, on my chest.

"Not a good day then?" mumbled Sirius coming to sit by me, I looked at him properly as he came into the fires light and saw he looked as rough as a badger's arse. The thought made me want to giggle.

"You could say that" I muttered.

"Well, I can think of one positive thing" he said cheerfully.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" I asked curiously.

"Well, you got to spend the night in Moony's bed" he said simply. I chucked my pillow in his face, but turned bright red when Remus came back in. He raised his eyebrows.

"Should I ask?" he said handing me my warm beef stew, and looking at Sirius who was trying to fix his hair.

"Probably not".

**Ok, so this one was a bit weird I admit but I think its okay. Anyway you be the judge and review please. And those dangerous creature files will come in, in the next chapter as Remus enters the Ministry of Magic. Whoo! *ahhh* I scared myself! Lol ~Gurugirl**


	7. Missions

**Ok, well anyway, here's the next chapter. Thanks to Yvonne Park, watin77, Dazzled Rose and felixlee14 for reviewing.**

**_Edited: 12/03/11_**

Missions

I was being tapped on the shoulder; light was streaming through a window nearby and stopping my eyes from wanting to open. I groaned and rolled over, only to hit my head against something. I gasped in pain and opened my eyes.

"Was your own fault" muttered Sirius staring down at me "shouldn't have rolled over". I looked up to find Remus was the one tapping me, while Molly was humming in the background opening the curtains. They still looked damp from there de-doxying. I sat up straight and looked around the room, my stew laid on the floor, half eaten from last night.

"What time is it?" I croaked, rubbing my eyes.

"Eight in the morning, dear" said Molly coming over.

"Shit" I said jumping up from the couch, "I'm going to be late for work". I looked down at myself, I didn't look too clean. And my hair was greasy. I sniffed in and recoiled in disgust.

"Ummm, maybe you should have a shower first?" suggested Sirius, sitting up and stretching. Remus nodded with him. I sighed; I really did need a shower.

"Okay, I'll go to my flat and have a shower, and possibly a change of clothes. Oh, Molly? If I come round later, could you write down some spells that will clean my flat? I'm useless" I smiled hopefully.

"Sure, no problem dear, but you better get going if you don't want to be late" she said.

I ran around my flat like a crazy person, trying to find clothes that were decent enough for work. So far I'd found a pair of reasonably tidy jeans, not like my others with holes, and a pink shirt. My long pink hair was dripping down my back, from my shower, in a rough ponytail. I was now searching under a mass of cushions for my other black shoe.

I hopped around for another five minutes until I found it wedged down the back of the sofa, how it got there I'll never know, and put it on my left foot. I checked my watch which told me 8:45. I was now fifth teen minutes late. I grabbed my cloak on the way to the door and also snatched some letters that had been piling up, and shoved them into my pocket.

I walked out of the elevator at 9:00, still trying to catch my breath, half an hour late, but I prayed no-one would notice. But as I walked past the Head Auror's Office to get to my cubicle, luck wasn't on my side. A door to the left of me swung open, and a deep voice sneered "You're late". _Scrimgeour. Bugger!_

"I'm sorry, sir. I will not do it again, sir." I said in a monotone, as I stopped just past his door. I made to walk on but he called me back.

"I didn't say you could leave. Come in here Auror Tonks, I seek a word with you". I moved back into his office, and he motioned me to shut the door but remain standing. "Miss Tonks, it has come to my attention that you have been spending a lot of time at the Ministry lately, and you have been seen leaving during early hours of the morning. Care to explain?"

"Well, I do work here, sir".

"I am aware of that" he said sharply "but does your work require you to work that late, and also, to venture down into the Department of Mysteries, so often?" he questioned. I was going to have to think quickly to get myself out of this one.

"Well, you see sir, I have to regularly go down there to collect documents, and court records to copy. Also, I have so much paperwork given to me, that I finish late doing it" I said.

"Do you seek more challenging things, don't you have enough adventure in your life at the present time?" he said questioningly, he was trying to catch me out. I knew it.

"Not really, sitting in my cubicle with paperwork wasn't what I signed up for".

"Really? Well then, perhaps you should have a trial to prove yourself. At midday, Kingsley, Dawlish, Proudfoot, and another junior Auror by the name of Dobbins, I do believe, are going to spend the afternoon in Tibet. They will be searching for Sirius Black. You will accompany them!" he said. This was not just any request, this was a _'do it cause I said so, and if you don't, you're fired', _type request.

"Yes sir, thank you sir" I said turning to leave.

"Oh Miss Tonks, Tibet at the moment is very unstable. Its Chinese Muggle government is coming down hard on Tibetan Muggles and wizards alike. It is a dangerous time, so try to think of your safety and your colleagues before you act. And also" he added "Dolores wants those dark creature files this morning, just send them down to her office as soon as you get back to your cubicle." He then waved dismissively.

"Of course sir"

I exited the office and shut the door behind me, breathing a sigh of relief. I quickly walked down the corridor to my cubicle; I guessed the only punishment for being late was that I would have to spend my afternoon with that perverted, idiotic Dawlish. But at least I get a little bit of action, before I come back and do duty, where nothing ever happens.

I grabbed the folders I'd stayed up later than usual writing, and ran down the corridor towards the lift. It was crammed with wizards. One man had a large box that growled at me as I walked in. I jumped slightly, before the lift doors closed again. I sighed as I waited for Umbridge's floor. Trust her to want them now, when I'm late and busy, kind of. Well sort of, not really. Nope I wasn't busy until this afternoon.

Soon her floor was in front of me and I quickly stepped out and walked down the corridor calmly. I had no desire to see the old toad, and decided I would do something awkward for her, which could get me into a lot of trouble, but at that moment I didn't care. I took each folder and lined them up, one by one, against the wall of the corridor outside her door. They took up half the corridor bottom wall and it would take her an extra-long time to pick them up. _Man, I was so dead._

I skipped merrily down the corridor and all the way to my cubicle; a smug little smile was playing on my lips. I shut the door of my cubicle behind me and sat down at my desk. I found my wand in my quill pot and put it in my pocket. I felt something smooth in my pocket next to where I'd just put my wand. I pulled out the pile of post. Most were flyers that zoomed around my cubicle when I went to read them, mainly advertising wizarding products. But I also had a letter from my mother. _Oh joy!_

I opened it gingerly, though it wasn't a howler, because it wasn't red or smoking but I was still cautious. I hadn't contacted my parents in months and was slightly worried by what it might say. But turns out I had little to fear, the letter read;

_Dear Nymphadora,_

_I know you are busy dear, what with Auror business, and your father says the Ministry is pretty busy nowadays, but would it hurt you to write once in a while? We do care about our little girl, and would like some form of update in your life. Perhaps you could pop round sometime? Please reply to this, you're making me worried._

_Love you, Mum x_

I sighed. _Little girl? _She's never been that worried before, why start now? I sighed heavily and pulled a scrap of parchment towards me and scribbled,

_Mum, am very busy with Auror stuff and I'm sorry I haven't written lately. Will pop in when I get a spare moment, sorry for worrying you. Dora x_

I shoved it in my pocket and left the cubicle, in search of an owl.

"Ahh, Tonks. Scrimgeour informed us that you were joining us" said Dawlish, as I walked into Kingsley's office. I ignored him and looked at Kingsley. He cleared his throat.

"We have been given permission to take a portkey" he held up an old shoe "straight to Tibet. When we get there we will have to be careful, there is a protest going on at the moment over there 'exiled leader'". The shoe in Kingsley's hand started glowing blue, and everybody put a finger on the shoe.

We were pulled of the ground, whirling around and around getting dizzier. My hair whipped around my face as I heard Proudfoot shout "Let go on three. Three". We let go, I screamed a little and crashed to the floor, along with Dobbins who was sitting up rubbing his head. Kingsley, Dawlish and Proudfoot were standing though they still looked slightly wind swept.

I looked around me to see we were standing in a deserted street. The houses were rather shabby and the land was silent. Curtains were drawn. This didn't look like a welcoming community.

"Well, we better get looking, alleys and secluded spots. Remember to use the _'Homenum Revelio' _to determine if Black, or anyone else, is hiding nearby" instructed Dawlish, "oh and Tonks, try not to trip over anything" he said smugly.

"Shut up, Dawlish. You're not here to wind up juniors, do your job" snapped Proudfoot irritably. Dawlish looked taken aback but went off with Kingsley and Dobbins south. "We'll meet you back here at nine, its five now Tibetan time".

I walked north up the street with Proudfoot, casting charms on different areas, searching for what I knew was pointless, a trace. After a while Proudfoot spoke.

"Sorry about Dawlish, he was always one for getting on peoples bad side" he said apologetically "I did training with him and nobody liked him. But he's a good Auror, I suppose, that's why he's so highly ranked".

"S'ok, he probably just likes testing to see if I can hold my temper back or something" I mumbled.

"Umm" he said, but didn't say anymore. He didn't speak for the rest of the time. Four hours of pointless searching, a run in with a protest group, who kept asking us where our loyalties lie, and a few curb stumbles later, we were back where we started. Nowhere. But of course, I hadn't expected any different. The guys decided that after the hard work and leg ache of this afternoon, we would go for a drink in a wizarding pub nearby.

As I entered through the shabby door, a putrid smell filled my nostrils and made me choked, along with Dobbins. But to the other three it was like a breath of fresh air. You could tell it was a wizarding pub by the clothes, and the troll in the corner. There was also a hag wearing a balaclava at the bar, where the boys were now standing. I looked around cringing. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around, Dobbins looked around too and came too stand next to me.

A man was standing in front of me, "Who would you be then?" he asked, eyeing me up in an unpleasant way.

"Err, Auror Tonks, sir, and yourself?" I replied.

"Jenkins, Robert Jenkins" he said, "Your with the London Ministry" this was a statement. Everyone in the pub turned to look at me, I knew something was wrong, but I stood my ground.

"Yeah, what of it?" I asked as the other three joined me. People were standing glaring.

"You're working against us!" he said.

"What?" asked Kingsley confusedly? Everyone was glaring at us now.

"Race you to the portkey" I whispered out of the corner of my mouth to Dobbins.

"You're on" he muttered back as the man said, 'Get them'. We ran out the door, the guys were all ahead of me running down the road, but Dobbins was only a little way in front. I tried to catch him up but tripped down a curb. _Curse my clumsiness! _Dobbin ran back and grabbed my hand, before dragging me down the street as the pub wizards came closer, screaming.

We got to Kingsley, Dawlish and Proudfoot just in time. The last glance I got was the people running towards us as we whizzed through the air once more.

When we landed in Kingsley's office, I couldn't stand up on my right ankle. I had been twisted from the curb, and Dobbins held me up.

"It was your fault, you and your big mouth" said Dawlish glaring at me, "this is why junior Aurors don't go-"

"Ok, Dawlish, that will do!" said Kingsley's deep voice. Proudfoot and Dobbins were both glaring at Dawlish. "Dobbins, will you kindly escort Miss Tonks back to her cubicle, and get some ice for her foot?" he requested.

"Of course, sir" he said, putting my arm round his shoulder and leading me out the door. I could hear Dawlish shouting at Kingsley from down the corridor. I groaned.

"Great, my first assignment and I fuck it up. Ow!" I said sharply as my ankle hit the ground funny.

"Don't worry about it, it wasn't your fault" he reassured me, as we turned into my cubicle. There was a surprise waiting for me. _Remus. _I looked at the clock on the wall, it was four o'clock. Oh, time difference. I hoped I didn't have to get used to that.

Remus looked concerned when he saw me, watching me anxiously as Dobbins set me down in my chair. My ankle was still painful. "Thanks Dobbins" I said.

"Ok, well see you around Tonks" he said beaming at me, but when he turned and looked at Remus who was glaring at him, he was out of the door quick. I conjured some ice for my ankle, while propping my ankle up on the desk. It was a struggle and in the end Remus had to help me.

"How'd you do that?" he asked.

"I tripped over while being chased in Tibet" I said perfectly normally, but he cocked his head to one side. "Searching for Sirius" I whispered.

"Oh" he whispered, "did you find him?" he smirked. I laughed but didn't answer.

"Why are you here so early?" I asked, he looked a little uncomfortable but answered me anyway.

"I needed to see you. I can't do guard duty tonight or the next night. I have another mission to go on" he whispered.

"Oh". It was my turn to make no further comment.

There was an awkward silence, which was broken by in the end by Remus. "Well, I'll see you when I get back, Tonks" he said with a small smile before leaving the room. It was odd, that he should come down to the Ministry and risk being spotted with me and then hardly speaking at all. I needed to talk to Sirius. I couldn't wait to finish guard duty.

After leaving guard duty, Hestia having relieved me, I had brought Chinese from a Muggle take-away on the way back to Grimmauld place. I was planning to eat it there while asking Sirius what was wrong with Remus, if there was anything. The only thing I'd eaten was the fortune cookie, after I read its lame message. 'What goes around comes around'. Simple, dull and over used.

I climbed the stone steps of Grimmauld Place with that thought in my mind, and a small smile on my lips.

I opened the door and shut it behind me with a snap. As I moved down the hall, the lights flickered on. My foot came down on a floor board that creaked, and I hastily took it off. Fortunately I managed to remember the umbrella stand was there, and moved around it quickly without spilling my tea on the floor.

I pushed open the kitchen door to see exactly what I'd hoped. Sirius was alone. Now I could talk to him privately. He had a butter beer bottle in one hand and was stroking Crookshanks with the other. He looked up as I came in but said nothing until I put my bag on the table.

"Something smells nice" he said, looking hungrily at the bag. I rolled my eyes.

"I thought you usually drunk much stronger things at this time of night?" I enquired curiously.

"I decided to take it easy tonight. What's in the bag?" he asked as I plonked myself in the chair next to him and pulled out a bag.

"Chicken balls" I said simply, popping one into my mouth.

"Can I have one?" he pouted.

"Wasn't Molly cooking Paella tonight?"

"Yes, but I don't like Paella, and I'm hungry!" he whined. I sighed deeply before pulling a ball out of the bag, I chucked it at him and he caught it in his mouth.

"Pig" I muttered, he shrugged and took another swig of butter beer, Crookshanks jumped down from the table. "Sirius, can I ask you something?"

"Sure".

"Well, today I came back from a 'trip' and Remus was waiting for me. He told me about his mission but he seemed like he was trying too hard to keep, I don't know, normal? He looked upset and I was wondering whether there was a bigger reason behind it? Other than having to go on a mission, I mean" I asked.

"Hmm, did he tell you he got summoned to the Ministry today by Darling Dolores Umbridge?" he said her name sarcastically.

"No, why?"

"Apparently she took him to the department of Regulation and control of Magical Creatures; she was ranting about some little bitch mucking up her files or something. That made her extra angry" I bit my lip, but he didn't notice my discomfort and kept going. I didn't like where this was going.

"He said he was then lined up with a kid, aged nine, and called Benny. He was a werewolf too. And shaking like mad. Anyway they took him into a room, got his personal details and she" he stopped, and curled up his fists in fury. He looked also as if he might cry.

"What Sirius, what did she do to him?" I asked, scared for the answer. I was worried; maybe my troublemaking had made her take out her frustration on Remus.

"They branded him Tonks, burnt it into his skin. Another unpleasant reminder of what he wishes he wasn't. They branded him 'WEREWOLF'".

**DUN DUN DUN. Yeah, i'm sorry, I know this is kind of mean for Remus but it was a last minute thing. I think Sirius reminded me of Dr Evil when she walked in the room. Lol :)...**

**Tibet is actually a really bad country cuz they are controlled by Chinese, i looked it up. Some of the things they do is just *shiver*. Didn't really like this chapter but it was more of a filling the gap chapter. I wanted her out of that cubicle. Anyway review please, gurugirl...x**


	8. Bone Crushing Hugs

**Oh yes people, here it is...*drum roll* chapter eight! da da da da! And I'm afraid that'll I'll be gone for a while as am going to my Dad's for a week, and won't be able to write. Oh the skillage of it. Yep, I'm hyper. Anyway, I will try my best to update when I get back and I will still be floating around. Luv my reviewers: Yvonne Park, Xxbritni-LinnxX, Felixlee14 and Dazzled Rose.**

******_Edited: 12/03/11_**  


Bone crushing hugs

"No! Don't move me there, you pink haired Moron!" shouted my castle. "His knight will obliterate me!"

"Too late" I said back as it moved. It glared at me as Sirius moved his Knight forward. Its knight drew out his sword and sliced my castle. Sirius smirked at me.

"Tonks, you only have, what, four pieces left on the board! You weren't kidding when you said you were bad at chess".

"Isn't that a bit of an understatement?" I asked, he chuckled. It was my first day off in a while, and I was spending it at Grimmauld place, rather than going to my parents or doing paperwork. The kids were upstairs with Molly, cleaning out the two rooms at the top of the house and the bathroom. At the last Order meeting, Remus wasn't there, and there had been no news. I was worried though I tried not to let on.

"Probably, okay. My move" he said studying the board. He was just about to make a move when from upstairs came a girls shrill scream. We both looked up at each other, then we sprinted to the door. We had to run to the top of the house and I was out of breath by the time we got up there. Hermione, Harry, Ginny and Ron were standing holding the bathroom door shut, as something rattled it from the inside.

"Who screamed?" I asked hurriedly as I came to the top of the stairs.

Ginny and Harry looked at each other before bursting out "Ron". I laughed and Sirius chuckled as Ron's ears turned red.

"What's going on?" asked George, exiting one of the rooms to the right, holding some sort of disfigured animal. Fred exited after him looking entertained by the scene before us.

"There's a ghoul in there, it tried to kill us!" said Ron, his face said it all. I snorted with laughter as Sirius backed away from the rattling door.

"Come on, it can't be that bad. You're just over-reacting" I said going up to the door and waving the kids away. Everyone backed against the walls, apart from Fred and George who came to the door, obviously curious on why one ghoul could create some much fuss. I opened the door and standing, leering at me was a ghoul twice my size, with pointed teeth and an axe. I squealed and shut the door.

"Ok, maybe you weren't over-reacting". Fred nodded in agreement and George said nothing, he just stared at the door. "Well, Sirius got rid of one before. He can get rid of it".

"Actually _Moony _got rid of it last time, not me" stated Sirius.

"Oh right, didn't you scream like a little girl, the last time?" I asked, making Sirius turn bright red. Ginny, Ron and the twins laughed, Hermione rolled her eyes and Harry tried to hide a smirk at the thought of his godfather screaming like a girl.

"No" he said, indignantly.

"Never mind. Do you know what spell he used?" I asked, looking at Sirius, but it wasn't him who answered.

"It was a banishing spell, simple but effective. It has the opposite effect on Ghouls, it gets rid of them completely" I knew that voice, I couldn't help smile as I turned round. Remus was standing there looking awfully ragged, with Molly behind him.

"Your back" I said stating the obvious.

"Yes, and I'm tired so I was going to have a lie down, but then I heard something about Sirius squealing like a little girl?" he enquired.

"Moony, great to have my little geeky know-it-all back. Say anything and you die!" he chuckled menacingly. Remus raised his eyebrows, and then coughed '_Little Girl'_. Everyone laughed.

"I'll get you for that" Sirius threatened playfully.

"Yeah right" Remus scoffed.

"You get three seconds to run before I hex your arse off" he said, but Remus was already running back down the stairs, and Sirius was hot on his heels. Molly sighed.

"Men, they never grow up, no matter what age they are" she said.

"Too true Molly" I said before turning to the bathroom, "Right, let's go kick some ghoul butt". I opened the door wide; the ghoul was in the corner, silently leering at me. I had Fred and George leaning over me and Molly pushing through the kids to see. It sprang; the kids screamed and ran back. It was nearly at my throat when I waved my wand and it vanished. A small cloud of green smoke was left. I coughed and spluttered as I turned around. Everyone was on a heap in the middle of the floor.

Ginny looked up at me, she was lying under Harry and Fred. "Your face is bright green Tonks" she pointed out teasing. I grimaced then stuck out my tongue, she did it back. Inside, were all really just kids!

It was the early hours of the morning, and it was the day of Harry's hearing. I was walking beside Remus down the short road towards Grimmauld Place, yawning every so often. He kept nudging me off the path at times and making me giggle. I bumped his shoulder back, he gasped a little. I suddenly remembered and stopped still. In the early morning light I could see his face as he turned to me with fearful eyes. I saw the pain. I saw how scared he really was, just for those few seconds.

"Remus, did I hurt your shoulder?" I asked, putting out my hand as if to touch him.

"No" he said a bit too quickly. I tugged at his jumper.

"Show me Remus, I know it's there" I whispered.

"How did you-"

"Sirius told me, but he shouldn't have. You should have, the day you came in" I said.

"I'm sorry Tonks" he said slowly starting to walk again, I hastened to his side, "I was ashamed". He wouldn't meet my eyes as he said it.

"Remus, what on earth is there to be ashamed about?" This question was of course, rhetorical, but he answered anyway.

"What I am did this".

"Hmmm, so being an intelligent, funny, warm, charming and rather handsome man, did this to you?" I responded smiling at him. He chuckled and nudged me again. "See, there's the Remus I know".

He sighed and rolled up his sleeve. I gasped in horror at the slightly fading red letters, marked into his skin. "Oh, Remus" I whispered before nearly winding him with a bone crushing hug. He wrapped his arms around me and put his head on my shoulders as his started to shake. He was crying softly into my shoulder, it came as a shock but I still held on to him gently patting his back. I didn't really know what to do, it was the first time I'd really had much contact with Remus. And I began to feel guilty, because I was enjoying the contact despite the fact that he was merely seeking comfort.

He let go after about five minutes, and wiped his eyes on the sleeve that he'd just pulled down.

"She's such an evil witch" I spat, rubbing his arms with my hands.

"Change the W to a B and you've got it" he said with a slight smile, before he started walking again. I laughed. We were about two houses down from Grimmauld Place and he hadn't spoken since the hug. It was an awkward silence that I was forced to break.

"I had guard duty last night with you. I have work in a couple of hours and I have duty tomorrow night by myself. I'm knackered, and what if I dose off?" I asked. He snapped out of thought.

"Oh, um. Well you could mention it in there" he said pointing at the door of the steps we were climbing, "and someone may come to your rescue. Also there's a meeting at the end of this week. You could mention that you're doing too many guard duties".

We entered the house, it was dark as always but we managed to move down the hall silently. Well almost, I yawned loudly as we entered the kitchen. Sirius and Arthur were already up and dressed. Molly was still in her night gown, hovering over the boiling kettle. I went to the other side of the table and plonked myself down on Sirius's left, and Remus sat down on his right.

"Tea, Tonks? Remus?" asked Molly pouring out the water.

"Yes please" we both called at the same time. I yawned again.

"You know, I think that at the Ministry were going to have to be more careful" I said as Molly put our tea's down and went to sit at the end of the table.

"Why?" asked Sirius.

"Well, Scrimgeour-" but I was cut off as Harry walked in the room. Molly immediately jumped up from where she'd just sat down.

"Breakfast" she said hurrying to the fire. I yawned again.

"M-m-morning Harry" I yawned, ruffling my curly blonde hair, "sleep alright?"

"Yeah".

I gave another shuddering yawn. "I've b-b-been up all night. Come and sit down" I said drawing out a chair and at the same time knocking one over. Molly started reeling off a list of foods for Harry's breakfast.

"What were you saying about Scrimgeour?" Remus asked.

"Oh...yeah...well, we need to be a bit more careful, he's been asking Kingsley and me funny questions. Stuff like why we t-t-talk so much and why I've been seen leaving the Ministry in the early hours of the morning. I told him I was finishing paperwork. I don't think he believed me cause I don't usually spend that long on paperwork, and I'll have to tell Dumbledore I can't do night duty tomorrow, I'm just t-t-too tired" I yawned.

"I'll cover for you" said Arthur, "I'm ok, and I've got a report to finish anyway". I smiled and looked at Remus, who winked at me.

"How are you feeling?" asked Arthur. Harry shrugged.

"It'll all be over soon" said Arthur bracingly "In a few hours' time you'll be cleared". Harry said nothing. "The hearings on my floor, in Amelia Bone's Office. She's Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and the one who'll be questioning you".

"Amelia Bone's is OK, Harry. She's fair, she'll hear you out" I said earnestly. He nodded again; I expect he couldn't think of anything to say.

"Don't lose your temper" said Sirius abruptly. "Be polite and stick to the facts".

"The laws on your side" said Remus quietly, looking straight at Harry. "Even underage wizards are allowed to use magic in life-threatening situations". Suddenly Molly was behind Harry with a wet comb, and began trying, with little luck, to flatten his hair.

"Doesn't it ever lie flat?" she said desperately. Harry shook his head, a hint of a smile came to his face, but it was gone so quickly that it was hard to tell if he'd smiled at all.

"I think we'll go now" said Arthur. "We're a bit early, but I think you'll be better off at the Ministry than hanging around here".

Harry jumped up immediately, dropping his toast.

"You'll be all right, Harry" I said, patting his arm lightly, in what I hoped was a reassuring way.

"Good luck" said Remus. "I'm sure it will be fine".

"And if it's not" said Sirius grimly, "I'll see to Amelia Bones for you..." Harry smiled, and Molly embraced him in a big hug. Then they left.

I gave a big yawn, and looked at Molly. She was standing staring at the door, worry written all over her face.

"He'll be fine Molly, don't worry" I said reassuringly, nicking a piece of toast from Sirius's plate.

"Hey" he said indignantly as Molly sat down again. I stuck my tongue out and shoved it in my mouth. Then started spluttering because it was too big. Sirius started laughing, and Remus came and patted my back.

"Thanks" I said. "Do you reckon I have time to steal the rest of Sirius's toast before I go to work?" I said cheekily. Remus snorted, and even Molly cracked a smile. Sirius just moved his plate away from me.

_31st August_

Day before kids leave for school. Hogwarts doors will open and in will walk an evil toad in a sickly pink cardigan. I feel for those poor kids. I'm not allowed to tell any of the Weasleys, Harry or Hermione, me and Kingsley had decided it was best to keep our mouths shut. Dumbledore hadn't even mentioned it during the last meeting, and Arthur hadn't been told. We didn't want him or Molly finding out either, everyone hates that evil hag.

I can remember two days ago when I found out. I was called to her office for a 'special assignment'.

_Flashback..._

_I knocked on Umbridge's door three times, like the letter I'd been given instructed. I heard a tinkle of china inside, then a sweet girly voice floated through the door. "Come in". I took a deep breath and swung open the door. The smell of strong perfume hit me in the face. I coughed slightly._

_Umbridge was standing by her desk. "Ahh, Auror Tonks, your here. Good. I wish for you too pack my things". I was slightly confused, was that it? I thought she was going to tie me up, poison me, and poke me in the eyes with needles or something along those lines._

_"Why?" I asked without thinking._

_"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm taking up another job along with my current one. I'm going to be a teacher" she added as I gave her a questioning look. My eyes bugged out, surely she didn't mean..._

_...Hogwarts?_

_End flashback_

I had quickly taken to packing her stuff, acting like her slave before quickly running out of there to tell Kingsley. He already knew. Apparently Dumbledore couldn't find a teacher, so under some Ministry clause they had to provide one. Why **HER** I'll never know.

So I was walking into Grimmauld place, for one of three reasons. One, too check plans for tomorrow. Two, to see Ginny for a while before she leaves cause they'll be no time tomorrow. Three, too see if Molly has any food!

When I got inside the kitchen a big banner was spread across the wall, which read;

_Congratulations _

_Ron and Hermione_

_New Prefects_

Kingsley was standing under the banner, talking to Remus. Sirius was sitting at the table and drinking butter beer. No surprise there.

"Evening Nymphadora" greeted Sirius cheerfully. Ah, he's in a good mood today!

"Don't call me that Sirius, or I'll use your _whole _name" I threatened teasingly.

"Point taken" he said. The kids came in with Molly. Ron was beaming and Ginny came and gave me a hug before moving towards the table with butter beer on it. Moody stumped in as I made my way over to Kingsley. Remus went and sat down next to Sirius, and Molly cornered Moody about a desk, from what I could hear.

"Have you told anyone?" whispered Kingsley.

"You told me not to, and I haven't" I said defensively.

"No need to be defensive, I'm just checking. Because the kids won't know her but if Molly finds out..."

"I won't tell, I promise".

"Ok, good. Nice hair by the way" he said tugging at a lock of my red hair. "You look like another Weasley child". I smiled. I was just sitting down when Bill and Arthur walked in. Arthur was definitely in a happy mood. I couldn't tell him even if I did want too.

"Well, I think a toast is in order" said Arthur once everyone had got a drink. He raised his goblet. "To Ron and Hermione, the new Gryffindor prefects".

As we drank to them they beamed happily. I was never a prefect myself, wouldn't really want to be. Ginny was standing over by the table getting food, so I went to join her.

"Hi Tonks" she greeted with a half-smile.

"Wotcher Gin, you alright?" I asked as I smacked a potato on to my plate and moved over a bit so others could get in.

"I'm alright. Mums driving me mad though, can't wait to get to Hogwarts! You ok?" she replied

"Yeah" I replied. "I was never a prefect myself" I said brightly nodding towards the banner, "my head of house said I lacked certain necessary qualities".

"Like what?" she said absentmindedly, picking a baked potato.

"Like the ability to behave myself" I said. Ginny laughed, whereas Hermione choked on her butter beer. I turned back to the table to get myself some more food. I didn't hear what was said next, but I heard Remus.

"I think Dumbledore might have hoped I would be able to exercise control over my best friends. I need scarcely say I failed miserably". Ah, so Remus must have been a prefect then, interesting...

The rest of the evening passed pretty much in a blur. Everyone around me was doing something. Hermione had engaged Remus in a conversation about elf rights, Bill and his hair were being threatened by Molly's wand, Ron was telling anyone who would listen about his new broom, and Ginny stood in the corner staring at Harry who was standing with Moody. I walked up to her, she sighed and turned to me. I gave her that look, the look you give someone when you understand. She shrugged.

Ron then came over and starting asking me about brooms. I was getting tired now, and I had to be up tomorrow to escort Harry to the station.

"I think I'll make a move now" I said to Sirius, he just shrugged. So much for his good mood.

"I'll walk you out" said Remus hastily, jumping from his seat next to Hermione. We walked out of the kitchen; I could feel Sirius's eyes on my back.

"Hermione lecturing you?" I asked as we walked down the quiet hallway, in contrast to the noisy room behind us.

"No" he said, but I didn't believe him. "Thanks for not mentioning anything" he said as he opened the door. I was puzzled.

"About what?"

"My arm" he whispered. I smiled and then hugged him. He laughed and then tried to breathe. "Dora, you're crushing me".

"Don't care" I muttered but let go anyway. He looked down at me for a second before leaning in and kissing me quickly on the cheek. He drew back quickly as well. His face flushed red, and he tried to look at anything but me.

"Well, umm, I'll see you tomorrow. And thank you" he stuttered looking embarrassed.

"S'ok" I said smiling, and then he shut the door behind me. I touched the spot on my cheek where his lips had just been. I felt a smile come to my face, and as I made my way back to my flat, I felt unusually happy. But then I got to the tenth floor.

Someone was sitting on my door step.

**End Chapter there I think. Can you guess who it is? Go on, have a guess! Did you like? Please review. Gurgirl bids you farewell for now. xxx**


	9. Confrontations

**Ok, so I'm back! Did you miss me? I had great time at my dad's but am glad to be home! Here's chapter nine, Confrontations. Thanks to my reviewers Yvonne Park, felixlee14, Ronyan, dawnie20 and FlyingToastersUnite. You all had good guesses: Kingsley, Dobbins and Andromeda. Well, let's see if any of you were right...**

**_Edited: 12/03/11_**

_Quick Recap:__ Remus came back, and Tonks asked him about the 'WERWOLF' branding. Tonks has found out Umbridge is Hogwarts new DADA teacher and isn't happy about it, and when she gets home there's someone waiting for her..._

Confrontations

"Dad?" I asked, surprised. It was quite dark but the features looked about right. He turned towards me. In the dim flickering light of the Muggle hallway, I could see that he was a mess. His eyes were watery and his face blotchy. He also looked extremely rough.

"Dora".

"What are you doing here?" I asked, though I had a rough idea.

"Your mother, she kicked me out".

"Oh no, dad. What did you do?" I asked.

"Why do you immediately jump to the conclusion that it was my fault?" He asked, heatedly. I raised my eyebrows disbelievingly. "Can we talk inside please, Dora?" I walked up to the door properly and pulled out my Muggle key. I put it in the key slot, not looking at my dad, who was hovering over my shoulder.

I opened the door and let him past before entering myself. He went and sat on my sofa, while I locked the door behind me. My flat was tidier than usual, but I knew dad wouldn't mind what my flat was like.

"Ummm, want a cup of tea, or coffee, or perhaps something stronger?" I asked, he smiled with only one corner of his mouth.

"Stronger please".

I smiled and walked towards the kitchen, it was a small kitchen with not much space. Not much of a kitchen really, but I preferred takeaway to cooking. I reached up to a top cupboard, and took down a bottle of fire whisky. I saved it for emergencies, such as this. I grabbed two glasses down from the shelf below it. I walked back into the living room and put the glasses on the coffee table, and then poured out some fire whisky in each and set the bottle down.

"So, dad. What happened?" I asked, bringing the glass to my lips. He took a big swig of fire whisky.

"It's a long story" he said, I settled back into the sofa.

"I have time" I stated. He sighed heavily. He obviously knew I wouldn't let this drop.

"Ok, do you remember Jasper Evans?" he asked.

"What Jasper Evans who lived down the road, Jasper? Didn't I get told off once for morphing my hair in front of his Muggle son?" I inquired, cheekily.

"Yes, missy, that Jasper. Well, I go round his every Friday for poker. Muggle stuff, but it's a night out. Anyway, his wife came on to me ages ago while your mother was there, and she doesn't like me going round there" he said. "Just in case she's there".

"So mums jealous?" I asked, disbelievingly.

"It seems so. But I was out until very early this morning. She jumped to conclusions and we had a fight".

"So mum kicked you out? You didn't do anything with that woman did you?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Of course not. I was drunk and fell asleep, that's why I was out so late" he said, defensively. "Darling, I love your mother. She's stubborn, she's bossy, she's often impossible but she's mine. She's always been the only one for me, I could never do that to her. I spent so much time fighting for her, why would I go and do such a thing? She just doesn't believe me and didn't when I tried to explain that to her" he answered, I smiled. I knew he was telling the truth.

"So she kicked you out, that's not exactly fair. Do you want me to talk to her?"

"Well, she didn't exactly kick me out. I sort of walked out" he admitted, sheepishly.

"Oh dad. For Merlin's sake! Nothing was ever solved by just walking out. She'll probably believe you less now" I exclaimed, men were impossible. "Look, you can crash here for the night, but I have a busy day tomorrow, so you'll be on your own here all day unless you decide to go back. I'll leave you a key on the table in case you go out, and I'll go speak to mum tomorrow night if you like".

"Thanks Dora" he said.

"Ummm, yeah. You'll have to get some blankets from the hall cupboard yourself, as I really can't be bothered and I have to go to bed. Don't drink all my fire whisky" I warned, he just smiled. I walked to my bedroom door.

"I can't promise that" he shouted up the hall. I laughed a little and shut the door behind me.

I woke up early next morning, got dressed into some plain robes and then walked into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and ran a comb through my hair, which promptly tangled itself in my hair, and I had to morph it straight to get it out. I picked up a flannel and wiped my face clean, before walking into the living room. Dad was sleeping on the sofa, covered by a pink blanket. I resisted the urge to laugh.

He was definitely asleep so I decided I could morph here without him being alarmed. I morphed my features into an old dear. My hair was painfully curled tight and I morphed my eyes to the colour of emeralds. I changed my clothes with a flick of my wand into a purple blouse, and tight below the knee skirt (cringe) and a hat on top of my head shaped like a pork pie. I laughed at my reflection and pulled out a key from my pocket. I laid it carefully on the coffee table, and left the flat.

"Wotcher Harry" I said, winking. "Better hurry up, hadn't we, Molly?" I added, checking my watch and walking beside them. Molly lengthened her strides; obviously my comment on time had panicked her.

"I know, I know" she moaned, "but Mad-eye wanted to wait for Sturgis...if only Arthur could have got us cars from the Ministry again...but Fudge won't let him borrow as much as an empty ink bottle these days... _How _Muggles can stand travelling without magic..." Sirius barked and ran ahead joyfully, snapping at pigeons and chasing his tail. He made Harry laugh, and I couldn't help but laugh too. Molly I knew was trying her best not to laugh as well.

"I like walking, gives you more time to think. And besides, isn't it better to be out in the sunshine than packed into a car?" I asked.

"I suppose" she said. Then added "Sirius shouldn't have come out, whatever will Dumbledore say?"

"I'm not being funny Molly, but we don't have to tell him. And no-one's going to recognise him, are they?"

"I guess not" she sighed. She was silent the rest of the way, just watching Sirius with a wary eye.

We got through the platform with a couple of minutes to spare, but Molly was still anxious. The others weren't here yet. I wasn't too concerned; I knew they'd be fine. Mad-eye came through with a trolley of trunks just a minute after we had.

"All ok" he muttered. "Don't think we were followed..." Moments later Arthur arrived with Ron and Hermione in tow. We began to put the luggage on the train. We had almost put all the trunks on when Remus arrived with George, Fred and Ginny.

"No trouble" Moody growled at him.

"Nothing" replied Remus. Moody started ranting about Sturgis again. Remus smiled at me as I rolled my eyes at Mad-eye. Mad-eye was lovely but he did run on a bit.

"Well, look after yourselves" said Remus, starting to shake hands with the twins. Sirius licked my hand. I looked down at the cheeky bugger. He cocked his head to one side innocently.

"...if in doubt, don't put it in a letter at all" Moody was saying. I hugged Hermione and Ginny.

"It's been great meeting you." I said. "We'll see you soon, I expect". The whistle blew and the kids got on the train, apart from Harry, who Sirius had just jumped on for a too human like hug. Molly hissed at him to '_Act more like a dog'._

Then he got on too. Molly chased the train shouting things at Harry, but Sirius chased the train all the way to the end of the platform. Moody, Molly and Arthur started moving towards the platform barrier while parents disappeared around them. I stood watching Sirius, Remus moved beside me. I morphed back into me, and with a wave of my wand my robes were back.

"Snuffles" he called, whistling. Sirius turned around.

"Come here boy" I shouted too. He ran back down the platform, his tongue lolling out, but just before he got to us, he knocked someone over. I squealed and Remus muttered something that I won't repeat, under his breath as we ran towards Sirius, and the man he'd knocked over.

I pulled Sirius away, as the man picked himself up. He smoothed out his robes and long blonde hair before turning to us. Remus was starring with evil eyes at the man, who looked the same way back. Sirius was pulling against me, growling. The tension on the platform for those who were still there was getting so unbearable; you could cut it with a knife. I used that knife to break it.

"Hello, Uncle Lucius. How you been?" I said, cheerfully. I conjured a dog lead and tied it round Sirius's neck.

"Don't call me that, I don't wish to be associated with you" he spat, moving towards me. Remus suddenly jumped in front of me. "You're associating yourself with werewolves? And I thought you could sink no lower. Then again" he added "your both freaks". Sirius barked viciously. I pulled back on his lead.

"It's better than being a death eater" whispered Remus, menacingly. "And you call us freaks".

"That's enough" I said, stepping in between them as I saw Lucius head for his wand. Sirius barked at him again.

"Your dog, Nymphadora" he said, eyeing it with distaste.

"Yes" I said, simply. "And we're leaving. Remus come on". I tugged Remus's hand and pulled him out of the platform, while trying to keep hold Sirius, who was struggling against me. Once I'd got them outside I breathed again, and dropped Remus's hand.

"Remus? Remus? Remus!" I nearly shouted, he snapped out of it.

"I'm sorry about what happened in there, Tonks" he said, quietly. He looked slightly ashamed with himself. I was about to say something when Molly came up to us followed by Moody and Arthur.

"Where were you? What happened? We turned around and you weren't there!" cried Molly, hysterically. She pulled me into a hug.

"Its fine Molly, we just had a bit of a run in with Lucius Malfoy" said Remus, much more calmly than he had sounded a couple of minutes ago.

"What?" said Arthur. I gave Sirius lead to Remus.

"I think he may have worked out who the dog was, and I told him he belonged to me. I need to get to work now, and see if I can't smooth this out, no doubt my dear uncle will report this to Fudge".

"You could lose your job" said Arthur, anxiously. Remus and Sirius looked at me apologetically, even though he was a dog, I could tell he felt guilty for acting the way he did.

"Yeah" I said, simply. I hadn't really thought of that. I turned around and walked away. And then I started jogging, then I was running. I could hear someone calling me, but it only made me run faster than I ever had before. I knew I'd probably made them feel worse, but I needed to get to work, I would have to talk to Kingsley.

Lucius had filed a sighting of Sirius. My name had cropped up, but nothing had come of it, yet. I was sitting in Kingsley's office, he was pacing. We both knew Sirius would not be allowed out of Grimmauld Place again, which was a good thing, but Dumbledore would be furious when he found out. I had been told I had an appointment with Fudge later this afternoon, so the time in between I'd spent writing to my mother. If I could get out of Fudge's office in time, I would be going to see her for tea. I wasn't planning on going to Grimmauld Place until tomorrow's meeting. Neither was Kingsley, and Arthur didn't have work this week so no-one would really be able to tell Sirius and Remus if I'd got in trouble.

Kingsley went out and came back in. He did this several times, and on the fifth time he came in and said, "Fudge wants to see you now". I looked up at him, he smiled reassuringly.

I walked out and up the corridor towards Fudges office. I'd only ever been there once before, to be congratulated on passing Auror training. I morphed my hair brunette and brushed my robes in an attempt to look presentable. Then I knocked three times and entered.

He was sitting behind his desk flicking through papers. "Miss, Tonks. I'm extremely busy so we'll make this quick shall we? Sit down" he said, gesturing to a seat in front of his desk.

I took the seat hesitantly, I felt nervous, and was finding it hard to keep a calm face.

"I've had Lucius, your gracious uncle, in here today. He has reported a sighting of Sirius Black, did you know that?" he asked.

"No, sir" I lied.

"Well, he says he saw you around the same place, and wonders if you've seen anything, as do I" he stated, plainly.

"I'm sorry Sir, but I haven't seen him. I will of course keep my eyes open" I said.

"Hmmm, yes. He also mentioned seeing you with a known werewolf, and former friend of Black's, Remus Lupin. Is this true?" I gulped and my mind raced. _Truth or lie, truth or lie, truth or lie. How about a half truth?_

"Remus Lupin is an old family friend. I happened to run into him this morning on the way to work. Mr Malfoy has obviously got his wires crossed" I lied, hoping to pull it off. He looked a little surprised by my answer, but shrugged it off.

"Well, just be on the lookout. Black may try and contact you, and of course you know what you'll do if he does?" he inquired.

"Throw him in Azkaban with pleasure, Sir" I smiled. He smiled cruelly back.

"Exactly"

"Is that all sir, you see, I have to get some work done" I asked, hesitantly.

"That's all for now. Go and get some work done then" he said and I got up, and made my way to the door. I put my hand on the door knob.

"Oh and Miss Tonks. It's good to know we have honest, loyal Aurors like you in the Ministry" he said. I opened the door and muttered _'Thank you Sir' _as I exited.

I used the floo network to get to my parents' home, which only one parent lived in at the moment. My mum is stubborn, just as I am, and I felt sorry for my dad. I was spinning uncontrollably through fireplaces, until I finally slowed, and grounded to a halt in my parents' living room. I stepped out of the fireplace and immediately tripped over the mat, falling flat on my face. _Perfect._

"Oh, Nymphadora, can you try not to be clumsy for one second?" my mother asked, as she pulled me from the floor.

"Nice to see you too, mum" I said, irritably. I brushed some ash off my robes.

"Darling, I am happy to see you, but you are awfully clumsy" she laughed, and then sighed. "Come into the kitchen dear" she called, as she walked out of the room. I followed down the hall, and into the kitchen. Our kitchen was rather big, with a dining area at one end and multiple cupboards and sides at the other. She went to sit down at the dining table, and angled her chair so she could look out of the window. I sat next to her, only just noticing that there was a pot of tea and cups on the table. It seems I was an expected visitor.

She looked at me and smiled, though her eyes looked watery. "He's missing you just as much as you miss him" I stated clearly and straight to the point. She looked at me sharply.

"Your father came to see you then?" she asked, though there was really no point.

"Yes, and he's a mess. He crashed round mine last night". She snorted, and began busying herself with tea, so she didn't have to look me straight in the eye. She gave me my tea and I took it without a word, but I didn't drink it. I sat there staring at her until she had to look at me.

"Oh, Nymphadora, will you please not look at me like that? It's not my fault" she cried, hysterically. I recoiled a bit. Mum had never lost her cool before.

"Mum, why did you get jealous of that cow? Dad loves you; he wouldn't do anything to hurt you. And" I added. "You know it".

"It's complicated dear" she sighed.

"Life's complicated".

"Yes it is. But darling, it's always been that way. With your father, it's like, the going gets tough and Ted Tonks gets going. Honestly, he's worse than a teenager" she stated.

"Aren't all men just like teenagers? But you love him regardless! Don't you?" I asked, uncertainly.

"Of course I do. But she's so young, not to mention slim and pretty, and I'm so...not! I'm old and wrinkled".

I had to laugh. Mum never described herself in such a way, and it was an odd thing to hear her say. "You are so not, seriously. He kept saying how much he loves you, to me last night. Mum, you've been married for ages and ages. He's never once cheated, raised a hand to us, broke the law, disappeared from our lives all together or told us that he doesn't love us. Not many blokes are like that, not decent like that" I said, though I could think of someone else. Her facial expression came across as being deep in thought. She sighed.

"I've been a fool Nymphadora, haven't I?" she asked.

"Yes mum, you have" I said, cheerfully. She laughed and took another sip of tea.

"I guess I should go and see him" she finally said.

"No need, he should be arriving any minute now" I said. "I told him to come". And as if by clockwork, he apparated straight into the kitchen, and landed in the sink. I laughed, and so did mum as she went to help him out. I diverted my eyes a little while they were talking but I could still hear everything they were saying.

"Ted I'm so sorry, I was a silly fool and I should have trusted you" my mother said. "I love you".

"Apology accepted, and I love you too, you daft woman!" he laughed. I looked up at the wrong time; he swooped down on my mother and kissed her fully on the lips.

"Cringe alert, cringe alert" I squealed, covering my eyes in mock horror. Dad laughed, and mum looked slightly embarrassed. "This calls for celebration!"

"Chinese and butter beer?" dad suggested looking at my mum, who rolled her eyes but nodded. Then he looked at me. "You want some Dora?"

"Of course dad"

The rest of my evening was pleasant. I spent it with my parents listening to the wizarding wireless, and eating noodles. I cuddled up close to them, and felt a warm feeling inside me at the thought that I'd fixed my parents problems, not the other way round. And with that though in mind, I drifted off to sleep in my old home.

**Okay, So nobody got it right but those who said her mother were close. I liked this chapter. Well, kinda. Yay Tonks! You can kinda tell what traits she gets from her parents. Review please and let me know if you liked it. I love you all! Gurugirl xx.**

**Answering Reviews a bit further:**

**Message for YvonnePark: Dobbins will be coming into it in about two or three chapters, not sure yet. Dunno if you'll like him, but I do. LoL x**

**Message for FlyingToastersUnite: I put in all the commas...I think! and I got someone to check it so I hope it's ok now.**


	10. Belonging

**Hello earthlings. Ok, seriously quick authors note: thank you to all my reviewers, I'm really tired at the moment so I'm making this quick. Please read and enjoy the next installment of The Order through the eyes of Nymphadora. P.s. Plz review, they mean a lot!**

**Disclaimer: If I was J.K. Would I Be Here?**

**_Edited: 12/03/11_**

Belonging

The next evening I skipped into Grimmauld place, a big smile plastered on my face from my success the night before, and promptly fell over the troll foot umbrella stand. But instead of whining, I picked up the umbrella stand, patted it twice and carried on skipping down the hall. It was quiet without the kids running up and down the stairs, and playing pranks on each other. No explosions from the twins.

Most of the Order had already filed in. I entered the kitchen after Mundungus, and tried not to choke from the putrid fumes coming from him. I still had the smile on my face from last night's success, until Mundungus moved and I saw Remus and Sirius. Their faces were anxious; Sirius was biting his lip so hard that it looked as if it would burst. Remus kept averting his eyes, but every time I caught them, I could see they were sad. My smile wiped itself from my face; I'd completely forgotten the Malfoy incident.

I walked around the table, biting my lip and thinking rapidly about what I should say. I pulled up a chair and sat in between them, so that the back was in front of me. I put my head on my arms on the back of the chair. Then I lent forward and picked up a butter beer.

"Tonks?" whispered Remus, in my ear. "Are you okay?" I looked up at them both, and smiled.

"I'm great thanks" I said.

"Did we get you into trouble?" Remus asked.

"A little bit. Fudge asked me if I'd seen Sirius, and asked if I knew you. But I talked my way out of trouble" I said. "Well, lied" I added, guiltily.

"We're really sorry, Tonks" said Sirius, sincerely. I put one of my arms around him, and one around Remus. I pulled them closer to me into a semi awkward hug.

"Ow Tonks, you made me bang Moony's head" moaned Sirius, playfully. He rubbed his head.

"There's no need to be sorry, I don't blame you, and stop whining" I said, mainly directed at Sirius. They pulled me into a tighter hug. "Okay, I love you guys, but if you don't let go, so I can breathe, I'll be forced to hex you". They let go grinning. Dumbledore then swept into the room. Everyone went quiet.

"I'm afraid I have to start on a few bad notes" he said, gravely. "It seems someone caught Sturgis outside the Department of Ministries. And the reason he hasn't been turning up lately is that he's been thrown into Azkaban. It will not be released to the prophet until he's had a trial, but it doesn't look to good". Everyone was quiet, Moody grunted.

"Also, about yesterday's little stunt" he continued. Remus, Molly and Arthur averted their eyes. I looked at Sirius who was staring at the opposite wall. "Sirius, I told you specifically NOT to go out of the house. It seems, Lucius Malfoy recognised you, can't imagine why" he said, in an offhanded sort of way, but his piercing blue eyes found mine, then moved onto Remus, who was looking back nervously.

"Oh, what?" came Sirius, suddenly. I was startled. "I'm supposed to stay stuck in this hell hole all day, the one place I hate as a close second to Azkaban, every day for the rest of my life! No, I don't think so!" he shouted, slamming his fists on the table and standing up, looking furiously at Dumbledore. Remus's hand was raised towards Sirius in case he needed to restrain him. I looked back and forth between Dumbledore and Sirius.

"It's for your own safety" said Dumbledore, calmly.

"I'll take my chances" said Sirius, defiantly. Dumbledore just looked at him. He kicked the chair over and stormed out, mumbling and slamming the door loudly behind him. There was few seconds of silence that was interrupted by a greasy voice.

"Black is so childish, just like he was in school" sneered Snape. Remus looked, for the first time, murderous. I was scared he was going to do something stupid as his fists curled into balls. Remus looked as if he was about to say something but I beat him to it.

"Shut up, Snape. Who are you to say anything about Sirius? You just can't get over your pathetic schoolboy grudge!"

"Nymphadora-" Dumbledore started, but I interrupted.

"I'm sorry Sir, but I'm going after my cousin!" I said, making my way towards the door, eyeing Snape dangerously as I went. He looked mildly horrified about what I said to him. I walked into the hall, as the front door shut. I ran to the front door, yanked it back open and stepped out into the night air. The happiness I'd felt when I first came here, had evaporated in a matter of seconds. A big black dog was sitting at the bottom of the stairs. I went down the stairs and he began to move down the road.

"Padfoot, wait" came Remus's voice from behind me, I turned round slightly as he ran down the stairs. He moved to my side and walked down with me, until we came to Sirius's side. "We'll let you go for a walk, but we'll be coming with you, and you'll be coming back".

Sirius's doggy face looked at us sadly, and then he ran down the road. Remus sighed and began walking. I quickly caught up with him.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked, quietly. We were near to the corner of the street.

"Hmmmm, I don't think so. I think you were incredibly brave, for standing up for what you believe in. I don't know if Sirius heard you, but if he did, I know he would have been grateful and incredibly proud of his baby cousin" he said. I stuck my tongue out at the word '_baby'_. We turned a corner and I slid slightly down the curb but managed to steady myself.

"I'm also extremely grateful for what you did in there" he added. He ruffled his hair, and in the dim lamp light, his scars became more pronounced.

"Why?" I asked, curiously.

"Well, its two days before full moon and in the week leading up to it, I feel more unusual. Unlike myself in some ways. And in there, I could have ripped Snape's head off" he said, I laughed. "It's not funny, I could have done it. It's scary to feel like that".

"It's not your fault, you didn't ask for it. Whereas Snape was totally asking for it, after what he said" I said, reassuringly. "How bad is it going to be, have you been taking Wolfsbane?"

"I can't, I pack my stuff tonight and I leave tomorrow. I have to spend my full moon with a couple who have my 'condition'" he said, using his fingers as quotation marks. He sounded frightened at the thought. I was frightened at the thought, but not for me, for him. "It's only for a couple of days...and it's crucial to get them on board before Voldemort does...at least it's only occasional work but..."

"Oh, I'm sorry Remus" I whispered, looking straight ahead of me. There were two blocks of flats, overlooking a small playing field, with a rundown park. Sirius was running up the graffiti covered slide, and sliding down it. He may have forgotten he was a dog, as he slipped down and his paws gave him no grip to stop. He fell into a heap at the bottom. I laughed lightly, Remus was still quiet. I looked up at him. He was looking up at the few visible stars, deep in thought.

I laced my arm through his and guided him across the rough ground towards the swings. There was glass everywhere, and the swings were covered in Muggle graffiti. They were rattling and squeaking as the light breeze swayed them back and forth. I went and sat on one, and Remus took the one next to me. He was still deep in thought.

"Are you scared, Remus?" I asked, in a nervous whisper. He snapped out of his thought and looked up at me, and then smiled with only one corner of his mouth.

"A little" he said. "I've had plenty of experience being locked up and becoming a monster, but..." he sighed heavily, "I won't be locked up. They go out at night, and I'll have to go too. What if I do something awful? I can barely live with myself now".

"Remus, I want you to listen to me" I said, clearly. I pulled his face round to look at me, making him look me straight in the eye. Sirius came running over and rested his head on Remus's knee. He patted him twice then looked at me with those warm brown eyes. _God, they were killing me. _

"If you do something awful, it's not your fault. The Order will stand by you, Sirius will stand by you and so will I. And you have to stop putting yourself down all the time. You're better than that" I said, sincerely. Sirius tapped Remus with his snout, in which I believed was agreement to my statement.

Remus looked at me in a very different way, and for once, I felt like I really belonged with them. That I wasn't just some tag along. He held his hand out towards me, I hesitantly reached my hand forward, and he smiled encouragingly. I put my hand in his and he gave it a gentle squeeze, and then sighed.

"Nymphadora Tonks, you are truly one of the most interesting girls I have ever met" he stated, before dropping his hand from mine. I placed mine back around the cool metal chains of the swing.

I looked down at my lap, then at Sirius who had his head cocked to one side in amusement. I rolled my eyes at him and looked up at Remus, who was studying me with interest.

"Thank you, Remus. I'll take that as a compliment" I whispered, playfully.

"You should" he said, before standing up hastily and stretching his arms. Sirius looked sadly at us though those cute doggy eyes, it was obvious he didn't want to leave. "How about a quick game of fetch before we leave" suggested Remus to the scruffy dog? He stuck his tongue out in reply and bounded off to find a stick. I laughed as he came back with what looked like a branch.

Remus took it from Sirius's mouth and chucked it as far as he could across the park. I watched from the swing as the two men, one in dog form, raced each other across the field and genuinely enjoyed themselves. Sirius was helping Remus forget his troubles, if only for a little while. It was a true quality of my older cousin's. He would stand by his friends. He could make anyone feel good when they felt lousy. And he was incredibly loyal. These things were often overlooked about him, but they were as clear as day now. Even though it was night-time. Maybe that's why his animagus was a dog, because he was loyal and a true best friend. I pondered this as the cool breeze whipped my hair around my face.

I smiled slightly at this and tucked my hair behind my ear. My eyes were then drawn to the hand Remus had squeezed, and I felt a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn't recognise it, and therefore put it down to being the chilly, end of summer wind.

Getting Sirius home wasn't the easiest task in the world, and he had to be convinced by Remus that the best place to be was Grimmauld Place. It was safer, and he had less chance of being thrown into Azkaban. But in the end, it was the Harry argument that won. Harry needed to know where Sirius was, and he was more use to him at Grimmauld Place than Azkaban.

We walked back to Grimmauld place in near silence, under the bright London street lights. I was worried about what the other Order members might think about me storming out like that, but it turns out I had no need to worry. The meeting was over and most Order members were long gone. The ones left didn't mention it to us, and I went to bed with no questions asked. I lay my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I had enchanted it with a neat little spell I found in an old book, in Sirius's library. Just point your wand at the chosen surface and say _'Ster Shain'. _Millions of stars were glowing above me, twinkling at different points.

I could hear Remus packing next door, banging his suitcase on the floor ever so often and grumbling. I giggled quietly to myself, the stars were beautiful. Maybe I would share them with someone, someday. I sighed at nothing in particular before drifting off into deep, uneasy dreams.

It was late afternoon, and I was striding purposely down the corridor of level one, leaving my cubicle way behind me. I was heading for the cubicle right at the very end of the corridor, just before the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office. When I got to it I knocked sharply on the door and slid it open.

Dobbin's office was much cleaner than mine, and his enchanted window showed me it was raining. He had several piles of paperwork and was reading the exact same file I was holding in my hand. He looked up at me and beamed widely.

"This should be fun" he stated, flicking a page and then laying the report on his desk. I conjured myself a chair and sat down.

"Shall we go over the who's, what's, where's, when's and why's?" I asked. He smiled again. He kept smiling whenever he saw me lately; it was getting a little creepy.

"Okay, well his name is Daniel James. He's a business man, and highly respected wizard to most" he started.

"Only not to us. He owns a chain of Muggle clubs? And we have a reliable source that says he's using those clubs as a smoke screen for something else..." I read out loud to him, I looked up and saw his face twisted in thought. "What could this something else be?"

"I don't know, but I guess that's what we have to find out. All we know is that it's illegal. We'll have to go in there, collect as much evidence for the case to stick, but there's a problem. How do we know when the exchanges happen, where they happen and how do we collect sufficient evidence?" he asked, thoughtfully.

"There not problems. To collect evidence we'll take a camera, but we'll disguise it somehow. And if you look to the back page, the source has given us dates and times. And there's one tonight" I said. _Damn, can't do guard duty. I must remember to inform someone._

"Okay, so we get into this club, find Daniel, gather evidence and get him and whoever else he may be working with arrested. Right, we have a picture of Daniel so he'll be easy to spot. We'll have to follow him, so we'll use the disillusionment charm if need be" he reeled off. I nodded in polite response.

"Yes, well the club opens at eight, so I guess I'll meet you outside at about, half past?" I asked, he seemed to be thinking hard about something.

"That sounds okay, but it'll be harder to spot him in a crowd of Muggles. I mean if we take our eyes off him for a second, he could just vanish, and that's it, we're screwed!" he said dramatically, I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculous way he flapped his arms. I managed to contain my giggles, until he pulled an annoyed face, which made me laugh harder.

"I'm sorry, but you look so funny" I choked out. "Anyway, umm, well I still say we go at opening times because A - that's when the meeting is, and B - we'll be hard to spot, so we can blend in without any disillusion charms".

"Good point, okay, half eight it is" he said, decisively. I looked smugly back at him.

"Well I'm going to go home and get changed, and I'll probably change my appearance into a more pretty party girl while I'm at it" I stated, moving towards the door.

"I think you look prettier the way you are, actually" he said, I froze and spun round. A mixture of confusion and shock flowed through me. His face turned red, and he looked down at his papers. I didn't know what to do so I just semi smiled and walked off.

I walked down the corridor deep in thought, not concentrating on where I was going. Which was a bad thing, seeing as I normally can't walk for more than five minutes without tripping over something. But I was trying to figure out what had just happened. It was a compliment, and sure I got on well with him, but, was he hitting on me? It certainly seemed that way. Dobbins, his real name was Matthew, I was pretty sure of that. He was alright looking I supposed, blue eyes, floppy brown hair, quite tall, slim but average really.

_Oh god Tonks, what are you doing? Thinking about a guy just because he called you pretty. What did Mad-eye always tell you; never dip your wand in the office. Not sure what he meant by that. But then again Mad-eye is a little old fashioned. Oh Tonks, what are you saying? Snap out of it!_

I mentally slapped myself as I clambered into the fire place and flooed to my apartment. I found myself some Muggle clothes that I'd never worn. Denim mini skirt, black high heels and a black strappy top. I stood in front of the mirror fiddling with my hair. What colour, what length? I chose long blonde hair that looked totally fake but cool all the same.

I was just about to leave when I remembered guard duty. I searched every draw in my flat for a spare bit of parchment and a quill, but couldn't find any at all. I was frustrated and almost kicked the table in my high heels, which would have undoubtedly resulted in an ankle injury of some sort. Then I literally slapped myself on the forehead, as I realised I didn't have an owl, and also I could just use my patronus to send a message to the Order.

I shot my patronus out the end of my wand, it was a merkat. Don't have a clue why, but it was cute._ 'Got Auror work to do tonight, so can't do guard duty, can't be helped. I'm really sorry. Can someone cover for me please? Tonks'._

I sat down on my sofa, and looked at the clock. I still had an hour left but had to wait for a reply to my patronus before I could go anywhere. If it came up to me in public, I'd be in big trouble. So I waited, and I waited. I waited for half an hour and still nothing. I was almost about to say sod it, and leave for the assignment, when a great shaggy dog patronus came bounding in. It sat itself in front of me and opened its mouth.

_"Emmeline's going to cover for you, she kicked up a bit of a fuss when you said you couldn't do it, but I threatened to bite her if she didn't, and it worked. Have fun tonight cousin!"_ said Sirius's voice from the dog's mouth, and then it vanished.

I breathed a sigh of relief. _Stupid cow had it in for me, but luckily Sirius was on my side, this time._ I walked out the door and slipped on my jacket as cold night air blew up the stairwell. I locked my door and apparated straight to the club.

I arrived down a small alley to the left of the club, and walked out of it quickly, hoping no-one would notice. I looked behind me at the club, and laughed when I saw its name. _'Danielz'._ Not very original, and boarder lining pathetic. I turned back to the street and scanned the area for Matthew. I almost missed him and had to do a double take when I found him. His hair was swept back in a cool way, he wore jeans and black t-shirt with some sort of Muggle logo on it, and some seriously cool black converse sneakers. And that was the only way to describe him, cool! He walked towards me with a boyish grin on his face.

"Evening Tonks" he said cheerfully. I looked down at my disguise; I thought it would be really hard to recognise me. I was slightly put out.

"Evening Dobbins. How'd you know it was me?" I demanded, wanting to know what I'd done wrong.

"Call me Matt or Matthew. And you didn't change your eyes in anyway at all. Got to pay attention to detail" he smirked. I rolled my eyes.

"Hmmm, okay. We better get in there while there's no queue, and find Daniel. His business deal goes down soon and before then, it's been reported that he hangs with the punters" I said, before grabbing his arms and pulling him across the pavement with me, towards the club. We were let in straight away, and there were quite a lot of people in there already, considering it hadn't long been open.

I walked down the rest of the steps, with Matt trailing behind me. There were lights hanging from the ceiling, tables in one area and in the other, a dance floor which was half full with Muggles dancing to a steady beat the DJ was playing. We made our way over to the bar and sat facing each other on bars stools.

"Want a drink?" he asked loudly, over the volume of the music.

"We shouldn't really, were supposed to be looking for Daniel" I replied, looking over his shoulder to the tables and V.I.P sections that were almost empty.

"Well, I can't see him at the moment and one won't hurt. Come on, just one drink" he pleaded, batting his eyelashes in a silly way.

"Oh go on then, but you order. I've never drunk in a Muggle club before, don't know how different it is to a pub" I said, feeling into one of my pockets and then gasping. "I forgot the camera!"

"Don't worry; I knew you would have, so I brought one. Here" he said, handing it over. I took it and crammed it into my pocket. I muttered an embarrassed _'thanks'. _He smiled genuinely at me, and then a barman came up behind him. He swung round to face him.

"Can I get you two anything?" the barman asked.

"Two WKD blues, please" he said to the barman. "We'll take it slow" he said to me, as the barman undone two bottles full of blue liquid. I got handed mine and took a swig. It tasted funny at first but I took another couple of sips and it started to taste good.

"That'll be £4.50 then" said the barman to Matthew. He pulled out some Muggle coins and handed them to the man, who walked off to shove them in a big metal box. He took a swig of his drink and smirked at me.

"I see Daniel, right behind you" he said, I was about to turn. "Don't turn; he'll be coming this way in a minute. Oh god, he's coming towards us" he breathed looking back at me, panic in his eyes. In a flash, Daniel was standing in between us, looking at the part of my body the top didn't do well at covering up.

He was everything I got from his picture. Swarve, handsome, slick. And of course, totally fake. "Hello there, I don't believe we've met before" he said, in an oily voice.

"No we haven't. You're the manager right? Our mates suggested this club as a good night out, we've heard good things" I said breathily, batting my eyelashes.

"That's good; I hope to see you later on tonight for I have some business to attend to. I will see you later on tonight, won't I?" he asked, looking at me with piercing eyes, and completely ignoring Matthew.

"Oh I'll make sure of it" I said, with a sweet smile.

"See you later then..."

"Abbie" I said, it was the first name that popped into my head.

"Abbie" he said reaching for my hand, kissing it once and then walking away. Matthew looked furious with the man, as he walked towards the exit. I smiled though; I thought I handled that pretty well.

"Bloody pervert" Matt muttered. "Let me hex him now" he said, but he was only joking. I think. I watched Daniel walked up the stairs.

"Do we follow him?" I asked, uncertainly.

"Is he out of sight?" Matt asked as a whole party of Muggles flooded into the club.

"Yes".

"Then we need to follow now" he said, abandoning his drink and walking towards the exit. I hurried to catch up. We exited onto the street just in time to see Daniel slip down the alley way that I previously apparated into.

I looked at Matthew who nodded and started walking towards the alley. I hastened to follow him. We got to the mouth of the alley, and I skulked down first, hiding in the shadows and trying not to make any noise in my high heels. Heels were not a good choice.

When we got half way down there was a small turning. I peeked my head around and saw Daniel talking to some big blokes. I felt a sharp rap on my head and the feeling of trickling water down me, and realised Matthew had just disillusioned me, so I could get closer. I walked quietly down the alley, without tripping over anything. The men were talking; I pulled out my camera and started clicking away.

"And you're sure these will work, instantly?" Daniel was saying, as he examined a small bottle of black liquid.

"Positive. Try it out on one of the filthy Muggles you have in there and see. They'll drop like flies" the big bloke chuckled, un-stoppering the bottle Daniel was holding. A small, dark skull puffed into the air, I quickly took a picture of it before it disappeared. I suddenly realised what these bottles contained. There were more in crates at the men's feet, bottles and bottles of poison. They were trafficking poisons through the club, and using the Muggles as testers. I felt sick to my stomach and knew this would be the time to stop them.

"Okay, bring them in the back" said Daniel, but before the other bloke could respond, I took away the disillusion charm and pointed my wand at the men.

"You're not going anywhere, but the Ministry of Magic" I said with authority, but Daniel pulled out his wand and sent a curse at me. I blocked it with a simple flick of my wand. "Incarcerous" I said pointing my wand at Daniel. Thick ropes shot out of my wand and bonded him tightly. He fell to the ground.

"You little bitch" shouted one of the men, raising their wands at me.

"Stupefy" "Stupefy" shouted Dobbins from behind me. The two men fell to the ground. I walked over to them and kicked there wands out of their hands.

"Mr Daniel James, you are under arrest" I said smugly. Dobbins laughed behind me. I turned around and smiled at him. "We did it".

"You did it, I was merely back up" he said modestly. "Good work" he said, putting up his hand. I slapped my palm to his in a high five.

"Good work".

**Ok, so I had and have serious writers block so this chapter is really crap, but please don't tell me that because I already know it. The Dobbin/Tonks thing will develop, and I know lots of you will be going NO, what about Remus? Evil Gurugirl, die die die! Well, hold the pitchforks back for a while, as all is not what it seems. I'll leave you with that thought. Please review, oh wonderful people. Luv yaz.**


	11. Halloween Hangover

**Ok, so this is a bit of a long one, and a big time leap, well not reli big, you'll see what I mean. Okay, this chapter is dedicated to Sophie and Natasha, who helped me with the ideas and Anthony, who cured my writers block. There were so many reviews for that last chapter that I can't write all your names down cuz it'd take too long, and to much space, and it's also 30mins to midnight here so I'm tired. But trust me, your reviews were appreciated and i loved receiving them. Thank you all so much, I love you all, now on with the show...**

**_Edited: 20/03/11_**

Halloween Hangover

I was sitting at the window of a Muggle coffee shop, looking out on a deserted, stormy street. The reason it was deserted was that it was raining buckets, and nobody wanted to be out in it. I was lucky; I had just finished shopping, and saw the coffee shop.

I off-handily decided I would stop and try, what Muggles call, an espresso. As I was paying for my espresso, a big clap of thunder rumbled overhead, and suddenly the heavens open. I went to the table near the window, and here I sat, watching big fat raindrops roll down the window and down the street. I sighed slightly as I watched them, it seemed like the sky was crying.

A couple behind me were arguing, there was hardly anyone else in the coffee shop, and those who were weren't paying any attention to the arguing couple. I listened in nosily.

"I don't care, you can't keep doing this!" said the woman.

"It's what's best, I have to go" said the man.

"So that's it, you're not protecting me by walking away, you're making it worse. Don't leave me" her voice shook with emotion. I saw the woman behind the counter look at them sadly, and then looked at me. She shrugged and we turned our attention back to the couple.

"These are dangerous times, and I don't care what they say, I believe Harry. And as I believe that, I have to go, if he finds me..." he trailed off. My eyes opened slightly in shock, they were wizards. The woman on the counter was serving someone and not paying any more attention.

"Look, every time the going gets tough, you get going. Well, it's not fair, you know you'll be back" she said. I took another sip of my espresso, it tasted wonderful, but I wasn't taking much notice to the coffee.

"I'm sorry, but I have to try" he stroked her cheek and exited out into the storm, as a flash of lightning crossed the sky. She turned and saw me looking; I hastily looked back out the window and picked up my espresso again. Someone tapped me on the shoulder, I knew who it was and turned hesitantly.

"Can I have that seat?" the woman asked, pointing at the chair. I nodded. Up close I could tell that she was at least thirty. You could tell how stressed she was from the way she held herself, and her expression.

"I take it you heard that?" she asked, looking beadily at me.

"Yes, sorry" I said, pulling up my coat slightly to show the wand in my pocket. She looked at it and back at me. "I won't say anything".

She smiled, though it was bitter. "Do you believe Potter?" she whispered.

"Do you?"

"Sort of. My husband does" she replied, simply.

"Well yes I do" I said. "But I don't understand, why'd he leave?" I asked, curiously. She looked at me carefully.

"You won't tell anyone?" she asked, I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring manner. "His father was big with you-know-who. He believes he'll come for him, but I mean, it's not like you-know-who is just going to walk up to our front door. He couldn't".

"Your husband is trying to be careful, but he's going the wrong way about it. Wandering off on his own is not a good idea" I said, sadly.

"I know. But he'll be back; he can never stay away from me. Loves me too much" she laughed. "Bloody fool, like most people. Anyway" she said, turning to look out the window at the storm that was slowing down, "what's your name?"

"Tonks and yours?" I said, quickly. She held out her hand.

"Natasha" she said, I shook her hand. "Do you want another coffee?" she asked.

I looked down at my shopping. "Maybe just one more, here" I said, pulling out a Muggle note. She smiled, and took the note, before walking over to the counter. I looked back out the window, the rain had stopped, and the sun was coming out. I hardly knew this woman, could I trust her? She seemed genuine enough, I just wouldn't tell her too much.

She came back with another espresso for me, as I just polished off my old one and a weird looking pink drink for her.

"What's that?" I asked, as she passed me my coffee.

"Oh, it's a frescato" she said, taking a sip. "Aren't you drinking yours?" she asked.

"Yeah, but it's a bit hot at the moment" I said. She looked slightly put out.

"Oh, ok" she said. She started fiddling with her pockets. I looked at my drink suspiciously, and as I did a small bottle fell out of her pocket, she gasped and hastened to pick it up. However, I saw the bottle. I knew it, now I had proof.

"You put truth potion in my drink" I whispered, disgustedly, pushing the drink across the table. I stood up and picked up my bags. "Who are you?"

"You don't know me, but I know you, Nymphadora Tonks" she sneered. Her 'husband' suddenly walked back into the coffee shop and stood by her. I looked at him closely. He looked familiar, especially his eyes. I knew those horrible eyes...

"Dawlish" I whispered, he froze. That was proof enough. "I bet Fudge put you up to this. Well, I'll not be staying here any longer" I said, picking up my bags and barging past them. The woman at the counter was looking again.

"You're against the Ministry" growled Dawlish, in a dangerously low voice.

"Prove it" I spat, before walking out of the coffee shop. My relaxed afternoon off had turned into a nightmare. I splashed through some puddles, soaking half my trousers in a hurry towards a back alley. I needed to apparate out of here really quickly. I needed to seek help on this; I knew I was in trouble. I ran down a small, deserted walk-way and apparated straight outside my flat.

I quickly shoved my bags in my flat and shut the door again. I breathed slowly, trying to calm myself down. I'd been working myself into a panic over this, and needed to calm down before I went over to Grimmauld Place. I needed to see Sirius and maybe Molly, and Kingsley might be there.

I breathed deeply and spun on the spot.

I landed dizzily on the pavement opposite no.11 and 13 Grimmauld place. I could feel my stomach lurch as I walked forward. By the time I was across the street, no.12 had appeared in front of me. I hated apparating, especially when I was stressed. It made me go all queasy. I climbed the steps uneasily and rapped on the door with my wand. The door swung open.

I moved uneasily down the hall way, and tripped over the troll leg umbrella stand. I didn't even bother getting up; the cold floor was relief against my throbbing head. Mrs Black had started yelling and a door banged open, somewhere.

Someone pulled me by one arm off the floor; I looked up to see it was Moody. He looked at me with one eye, but his blue one was looking into his head.

"For God's sake Tonks" he growled, I was on my hands and knees, I couldn't move another inch. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm..." but whatever I was about to say didn't come out, however, something else did. Mrs Black had shut up and Sirius was there. He pulled out a handkerchief and passed it to me as I sat up. He ran his hand through my hair to move it out of the way.

"Tonks" he whispered softly, but it had just dawned on me. I was most probably fired. I grabbed onto Moody, who still had his arm round me, and sobbed into his coat. They both looked rather stunned.

"It happened" I choked out. "It happened, they did it. I'm sorry" I cried harder. Moody pulled me into standing position and Sirius put his arms around me.

"What's happened coz? What's made you like this?" he muttered. I could feel his chest moving up and down in slow rhythm and I calmed down slightly.

"Espresso – Dawlish – apparition - fired" I managed to choke out, Sirius looked down at me confusedly, but it was Moody who spoke.

"You were stressed, had nothing but coffee in your system and apparated" he growled. "You do remember during training that you made that mistake once".

"Yes Mad-eye, thanks for that" I said into Sirius's shirt.

"Come on Nymie. Let's get you into the drawing room, nice and comfy. Then you can tell us what's happened" Sirius said, guiding me towards a door to the left.

Moody muttered 'evanasco' behind me. Sirius opened a door, and sat me carefully down on a stack of pillows, that were laying on one of the Blacks old sofas. He sat down next to me, as Moody stumped into the room and closed the door. It was cold in this room, as the fire was off, I leaned on Sirius. I couldn't believe what I'd just done, I was such a baby.

"I'm such a baby" I whispered.

"No Tonks, your human" said Moody gruffly, pointing his wand at the fireplace, red sparks shot out and a fire ignited.

"Nymie, tell me what happened" said Sirius, his was looking at me with grey eyes full of concern.

"I'll tell you if you stop calling me that" I smiled, he laughed.

"There's my little..." he stopped. "Tonks" I laughed a little bit and wiped my face, my mouth tasted really horrible. I stuck my tongue out in disgust. Moody thrust his flask into my hand. I looked at it curiously.

"Its pumpkin juice" he said, I took a sip. It slipped down my throat and washed the taste away. I gave Moody his flask back with a quiet _'thanks'_. "Now Tonks, why are you in this state?" he asked, gruffly.

"Ok, well I was in a Muggle coffee shop, and this couple were arguing about you-know-who, the man walked out and the woman came up to me. She brought me a drink and asked me if I believed Harry's story. Anyway, I saw a bottle fall out of her pocket. She's put truth potion in my coffee" I said, quickly. I didn't look at them. I knew they'd look at me like I was mad.

"Ok, go on" said Sirius, calmly.

"Well, the man turned up and I realised he was Dawlish. So, they're from the Ministry, and they'll tell Fudge, and I'll be sacked" I said, and buried my head back into Sirius's shirt in shame. He pushed me back and looked at me in worry.

"Tonks, what have I always told you. Suspect everyone, trust no-one" growled Moody. Sirius glared at him.

"Moody, old man, don't be hard on her!" snapped Sirius. They both glared at each other for a minute before I broke the silence.

"I didn't drink the coffee, that's got to be something" I said, hurriedly, "and they have no proof that I said those things. I'll do what all people do when trying to save their skin...lie through my teeth" I grinned. Sirius sighed and tried to stop himself smiling, but he failed miserably.

"If you want Tonks, I'll go have a word with Fudge. I could do with a chat with my 'old friend'" he muttered dangerously. "I'll say that you knew about what was happening and played along. I can believe Fudge would do this, bitter old man" he muttered.

"Thanks Moody, but wouldn't that compromise you, in the eyes of the Ministry?" I asked.

"Tonks, you're daft, clumsy, reckless and impulsive. But your also one of the best Aurors I've had the pleasure to train, and you are not losing your job over this disgusting trap. I am going to see Fudge" he declared, standing up. "Sirius, look after her" he said, shortly, before stumping out of the room. I sighed and hugged Sirius again.

"Whatever are we going to do with you?" he whispered.

"Don't know; lock me in a small room, made of sponge?" I suggested. He poked me on the arm, I poked him back. Soon it turned into a tickle war, until he gave in and fell off the sofa. He'd cheered me up.

"Ok, I give! No more, please, no more!" he chuckled, standing himself up. I grinned foolishly at him. "There's the Nymie I know and love" he said soppily.

"Whatever" I said, chucking a pillow at him.

"Hey, stop the constant stream of attacks please! I could just disown you" he threatened. Yeah right, he'd said that a million times before. "Anyway, look, what are you doing Halloween night, which is in like, two days?" he asked, suddenly.

"Nothing"

"Well, I'm having a little Halloween party. Just some Order members, some food, lots of Alcohol! Come" he said, this wasn't a question. It was a demand.

I sighed overdramatically. "Sure, I suppose. Why not?" He bounced over a hugged me tightly.

"This is going to be great. And maybe you could bring some...chicken balls" he suggested, in an offhanded sort of way.

"Ah, so you want the food I bring, not my company..."

"Oh, totally" he replied. "Besides, you'll be too busy staring at Remus". I thumped him on the arm.

"I thought he didn't return until after Halloween" I said, trying to make it sound unimportant. It didn't work.

"You were mistaken" he said. "Halloween night, 7pm! Be here!" he ordered. "Oh and Tonks, costumes are compulsory". I cringed. This should be fun, I thought. If I was fired I probably wouldn't come, I'd be to depressed, but if by some miracle I kept my job, I'd definitely go. And with that negotiation in mind, I whacked Sirius on the head again.

By some miracle, my brave ex-mentor had pulled it off. Apparently there was a hidden clause that said, in more technical terms than this, 'The Ministry shall not fit up their employees for no good reason'. It was of course written better than that, but it was the basics for people like me, who didn't care for technical.

And I had also received a letter of apology from the Minister, saying how sorry he was for upsetting me, and how he shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. And to make things even better, Dawlish was in trouble.

I was reading through some old case files that had been left on my desk, but I wasn't taking any of the information in, because I was too busy thinking about tonight's party. I would be getting off work at six, going home to get changed, go to get the chicken balls that Sirius loved so much, and then I would go to his little Halloween part. And I would be seeing Remus, I didn't know why I was so excited to see him, but he just seemed so important to me.

There was a knock at my cubicle door, and it slid open. Matthew Dobbins was standing there, looking very happy about something and looking at me in a weird way. He wasn't weird; just I'd never seen him look at me like that before. It made me feel uncomfortable, but then he came in and summoned a chair to sit on, and stopped looking at me.

"Wotcher Tonks" he said, cheerfully.

"Wotcher Matt, how's your day going?" I said, equally as cheerfully back, glancing at the clock.

"Good so far, all reports finished and I sorted out an argument that turned nasty between two neighbours, on Boswell Street" he replied. "And yours?"

"It's going good, I have been given slightly less paperwork than normal, and confiscated a bewitched Muggle artefact, from a crooked wizard dealer. Bit dull, but its life" I chuckled, humourlessly. He smiled slightly.

"Well I just dropped by to ask, well, if you want to, there's a Halloween party round a friend of mines tonight. And I was wondering, maybe you'd want to come with me, if you're not busy of course" he said, hurriedly. It was obvious he'd been building up to this for a while, and I would deeply mean what I said next.

"Oh god, I really am sorry, but I've already said I'll go to another party. I'm really sorry, Matt" I said, sincerely.

"No that's ok, it was just a thought. Maybe we could go out another time; I better get back to work. Bye Tonks" he said, disappointedly. And then he was gone.

I looked down at my desk sadly, I was conflicted, and it was really hard being me at the moment. He was a good mate; maybe I should have cancelled Sirius. But I wanted to see how Remus was, and that had stopped me cancelling. That's what I said to convince myself. I just wanted to see if he was ok.

I was walking up the steps to Grimmauld Place, a bag of Chinese chicken balls swinging in one hand and a purple clutch bag in the other. I had a purple and black, knee length dress that was both scary and sexy. It was ruffled with purple silk and was comfortable. I morphed my hair black with purple tips, and wore black fur boots with it. I had dark purple eye shadow and black lipstick, and to complete the look, i's drawn a spider web on my cheek with eyeliner. I hoped I looked good enough, though it wasn't much of a costume. I hoped Sirius would like it...and Remus.

I opened the door and my head was instantly covered with fake cobwebs, the door swung shut behind me. The whole hall was covered and Grimmauld Place looked even creepier than usual.

"Ah, Tonks! Hello" said Sirius loudly, making his way over to me, and pulling me through the cobwebs.

"Hey Sirius, great cobwebs, they look real!" I said, amazed. He smiled at me.

"They are!" he said, my eyes bugged out. I start spitting out cobwebs. "Only kidding!" He laughed, I could have murdered him but then I laughed at him. I only just saw him properly as we got to the kitchen door. His hair was gelled greasily back, and he wore thick black robes and a billowing black cloak. I could have died of laughter.

"Oh my god, Sirius! You're dressed as Snape?" I asked the obvious, as we walked into the kitchen. Creepy music was playing quite loudly on the stereo.

"Well, it is Halloween" he stated matter-of-factly. I laughed again and looked around to see who was here. Kingsley and Mad-eye were discussing something in the corner. Kingsley was dressed up as Dracula, but Moody wasn't dressed up as anything, but that didn't matter, he looked scary enough when he was himself. Molly was laying out dinner; she wore a long red dress, identical to the one Celestina Warbeck. I didn't like her much, every time she sang it was like she was gargling nails. Though some thought she was good. Arthur was helping her, sort of. He kept nicking pieces of food, and she slapped him away in annoyance, as Bill looked on laughing. Bill and Arthur both looked like they'd been in an accident as they were both covered in blood stained bandages. Mundungus was also watching the fun, as he downed a river of alcohol and talked loudly to thin air. He didn't have a costume. I looked all around, but I couldn't see Remus anywhere.

Sirius walked off to get some butterbeer and left me on my own. I stood by the door, and an arm grabbed me, and pulled me back into the hall. I didn't even have time to squeal. I was about to slap whoever it was but when I looked up I saw that it was Remus. I dived at him and hugged him tight, throwing us both off balance, but I didn't care. He pushed against the wall to steady himself and looked at me.

"Hello Tonks" he whispered, breathlessly. He was right in my face, I looked into his eyes for a moment and then I noticed something odd.

"Remus, why are you all furry?" I asked. He chuckled sheepishly.

"It was Sirius's idea, but I can't go in there! I'm too scared" he said, sounding like a little kid. I looked at him more closely.

"This was Sirius's big idea? Well that fits! Why on earth would he make you dress up as a Werewolf?" I asked, perplexed. It seemed a bit insensitive, especially on Halloween.

"I don't know. It's just Sirius being Sirius! What am I going to do? Help" he pleaded. I put my hand in his and smiled at him.

"You can walk in with me, and if anyone says anything, I'll hex them" I said proudly, he smiled appreciatively. I suddenly felt drawn to him, and found myself leaning in. His eyes were looking deeply into mine and my breath hitched. Lust was suddenly clouding my brain, as my eyes darted from his lips to his eyes. Someone coughed behind us. I turned around to see Emmeline Vance standing there. I almost screamed at the sight of her. Her hair was long and black, she wore a green dress with a brown cloak, and her face was pale and gaunt. She was a Banshee.

"Well, isn't this cosy?" she said, staring evilly at me.

"Wotcher Emmeline" I said, as cheerfully as possible, taking a small step back from Remus. She still glared at me, even though she was talking to Remus when she next spoke.

"Remus could I have a word with you?" she asked. "On your own". I looked at Remus, he looked back at me then dropped my hand, and I swear there was a look of disappointment in his eyes.

"I'll be in, in a minute. I'm sorry, Tonks" he said, but I was pissed off. Totally pissed off!

"Fine" I said, through gritted teeth, before marching back into the kitchen. I however stayed by the door and ease-dropped on what they were saying.

_"Why are you hanging around with that little brat?" spat Emmeline._

_"It's got nothing to do with you, but if you must know, she's my friend. And she's not a brat, what is your problem?" He snapped back._

_"My problem? It's her who's the problem! She's trouble" said Emmeline._

_"Well it just so happens that I like trouble!" shouted Remus, fiercely. _Most of the room turned to see what had happened. I blushed slightly and stepped away from the door, not a moment too soon. The door swung open and in walked a fuming Remus, with an angry Emmeline following him. Everyone looked away and busied themselves with something else.

"Sirius, I need a drink" said Remus, more calmly, but he didn't look at me. Emmeline did though, she glared at me, and I glared back, until she dropped her gaze first.

I felt extremely smug, and went to stand with Remus and Sirius, but just as I got there Remus walked off and engaged Bill in conversation. I looked at Sirius, who shrugged and handed me a butterbeer. I took it gratefully. I downed most of it in one.

Sirius tipped the bottle away from my mouth. "Easy coz, don't drink so fast, we have all night".

For the rest of the night, Remus wouldn't speak to me, or even look at me. And every time I went to make conversation he moved away. It was Emmeline's turn to be smug. I drank bottle after bottle of anything I could get my hands on. I'd drank so many bottles of Alcohol that I was more than just tipsy, and it didn't help my clumsiness. Everyone had come up to me and tried to make me stop, but I waved them away.

Hardly anyone was left by midnight, just me (completely drunk), Mundungus (completely out of it), Sirius (same as Mundungus), Remus and Emmeline. She started to drape herself all over him while he sat down and I couldn't take it anymore. Forcing back tears, I ran tipsily out of the room and up the stairs towards the room I usually occupied whenever I stopped here. But being as drunk as I was, I fell down several times, and by the time I sat on my bed, my ankles were black and blue.

The door creaked gingerly open, I grabbed my wand out of my pocket to turn on the lights, but I dropped my wand. I went to pick it up as the lights flickered on. I sat up fast, too fast. My head started spinning, along with the room. Remus was standing at the door, looking guilty. He came and sat next to me.

"Tonks" he began, but I cut him off.

"What did I do, Remus" I asked, hysterically, wiping my nose on my dress sleeve. "Why did you do that to me?" I started sobbing hysterically. He put his arm around me in an attempt of comfort but I pushed it off.

"I know I'm trouble, but you said I was your friend. And then you go and side with that..._bitch!_" I spat. "All I wanted to do was help you".

"I know, Tonks. I know. I thought you'd be mad at me, so I thought if I kept my distance, you'd be better" he said, sadly. "Plan back fired".

"Yes, it bloody well did" I sniffed. He made to move but I grabbed him back. "Please don't go, please. Stay with me" I begged.

"Ok, I'll stay" he sighed, putting his arm around me. This time I let him and clung to him myself, burying my face in his jumper.

"I really like you Remus" I mumbled, and the last thing I remembered hearing was Remus say '_and I you' _before I blacked out.

I woke up hazily, I felt the world spin around me and put my hand to my forehead. I soon came to realise I was leaning against someone. I sat up sharply, big mistake. The room span more, and I with it.

"Morning" came a sleepy voice from beside me. I looked and saw I'd been leaning on Remus. I squealed.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, though my words were slightly slurred.

"I'm here, because you asked me to be here" he said, simply.

"Oh that's right" I said, and then I looked at him in shock. "Did I beg at one point?"

"Yes you did". I groaned again. "Can you remember much of last night?" he asked.

I thought about last night's events. "Last thing I can remember properly is tripping over a step" I said, looking down at my bruised ankles. I lay back down on the bed, my head was throbbing. "Do you know what happened after that?"

"Yes, but only vaguely. Anyway I shall tell you that story when you are better" he got out of bed, and went to the door. "I'll get you a bowl, some ice and potions" he muttered, before leaving the room. I wondered what I did last night, but I couldn't remember. And the more I tried, the more my head hurt.

Sirius walked past my room merrily. How come he was ok? Oh yeah, months of practise! "Morning cousin how's the hangover?" he cooed.

"Coming on nicely" I muttered, closing my eyes.

"Awww, nothing like a little Halloween hangover to bring people closer" he said, teasingly, and then he was gone. I couldn't be bothered to even think about what he meant, I couldn't be bothered to do anything, and I couldn't remember what I'd done last night. This would be a Halloween Hangover to end all hangovers though. _Bloody Alcohol!_

**Ok, this is true. I got sent it, and I think it's pretty funny. "Which of these coffees did you want with cream and sugar?"- **_**Asked of a customer who had ordered two coffees, one with cream and sugar and one without. **_**That, and a particularly harsh thunder storm, inspired the coffee shop scene. So what did you think, I know the time was like a big leap but that is the only big leap. Reviews are like coffee (hehe) they keep me awake so I can write more. *wink*.**


	12. Of Letters and Owls

**So, I'm back! This chapter has three characters, which we all love. It's a bit short, but I wanted to post it now, because I've finished all my coursework and I'm going back to school in four days! To those who are going back on Monday, good luck. For those lucky sods who have longer off, I envy you! Quick thanks to the people who reviewed my last chapter: Codswallop, dawnie20, Fleur du Feu, FlyingToastersUnite, emLILYEVANS, felixlee14 and jenanistonrockz. This is 4 you, guys!**

**_Edited: 20/03/11_**

Of letters and Owls 

It was two days since my hangover and I felt better, though I still couldn't remember exactly what I'd done that night. All I knew was that my right ankle was slightly swollen and turned from purple to black to yellow, and it was still quite sore. I stepped out of the shower and dried off with my pink fluffy towel. It had a picture of a bunny of it. It may seem childish, but it was warm and snuggly.

I walked out of the bathroom and walked to the radiator, turning it up to high heat. It was freezing in my small flat; it was one cold November night. I then made my way into my bedroom to put on some pajamas. They were just basic silk trousers with a strappy top; my mum had brought them for Christmas as she hadn't known what to get me. I thought mums knew everything, apparently not.

My hair was like it always was when I came out of the shower, dark brown and impossible to brush. I was brushing it roughly with a comb as I walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen, and flicked on the kettle, looking out into the dark night. My window was slightly fogged up, so I wiped it with my tea towel. The sky was cloudy and dark, but as I peered out I could see something heading for me.

It was a small dark shape that got bigger as it soared towards my kitchen window. The kettle whistled, making me jump slightly, as I opened the window. A large tawny owl flew through my window and landed on top of a cupboard. It dropped a letter into my tea cup, that luckily, was not filled yet. I took it out, and put it on the side before opening a cupboard, looking for something the owl could have as a treat. I found an old cracker as tossed it to the owl, who gobbled it down with an appreciative hoot, then soared back out of the window.

I picked up the letter, the writing was unfamiliar but it was clear it wasn't an adults. I turned it over and was about to rip it open, when there was a knock on my flat's door. I dropped the letter and picked up my wand from on top of the sugar bowl. I made my way out into the hallway and crept up to the door. There was a hole in the door where you could look and see who it was, without them knowing.

I put my eye up to the hole and looked out. I breathed a sigh of relief, it was only Remus. I quickly unlocked the door, and opened it half way.

"Wotcher Remus" I said cheerfully, "you nearly gave me a heart attack".

"Sorry" he said, laughing slightly. "But Sirius locked himself in his room, no-one from the Order is at Grimmauld Place and I've read the same book twice already and..."

"Yes Remus, you can come in" I said, cutting him off, and opening the door wide. He stepped into my flat with grateful smile. I shut the door behind him.

"Do you want a cup of tea? I was just making one" I asked, walking towards the kitchen. I could hear him taking off his shoes behind me, and then following me into the kitchen. "And you know you can visit whenever you like, I don't mind".

"Thank you. And tea would be lovely, as long as you haven't stuck your fingers in the sugar bowl" he said, pointing at the tub of sugar I was opening. I laughed, I didn't realise he still remembered that.

"Don't worry, I haven't" I laughed pouring some water into a cup. "There's a cupboard behind me, above the fridge, with cups in it. You couldn't get me one, could you?" I asked.

"Sure" he answered. "Nice Pj's, Tonks". I snorted in a very un-lady like fashion. I heard him taking a cup out of the cupboard. His arm came past my right side and brushed against me as he put the cup down by the kettle. I froze slightly as I felt his chest against my back. Was it just me, or was he taking his sweet time about putting the cup down. "There you go" he whispered, before putting his arm across to another counter. The warmth of his chest disappeared, making me feel cold. I shook my head in annoyance; there was no way that I enjoyed that was there?

"What's this?" he asked, holding the letter in front of me, as I poured out his tea.

"A letter" I said, simply, concentrating really hard on stirring the tea. His warm breath was on my neck as he reached round me for his tea. I turned round and nearly bumped my head on his chest. He moved back slightly and sipped his tea. I picked mine up and walked into the living room, without looking at him. It was an odd moment that had just passed. I sat on the sofa with my tea in my hands, and he came to sit next to me.

That's when I looked at him. He looked slightly more worn every time I saw him; but his eyes were warm and friendly. I found myself taking in every scar on his face, before my eyes landed on his lips. I quickly looked away. He was also still holding the letter. He held it out to me and I took it from him, but put it on the coffee table and lent back into the cushions.

"Not going to open it?" he asked.

"Nope, I'll open it later" I replied. "So is there any other reasons, besides the ones you told me, as to why your here?" I asked, curiously. He sighed lightly and took another sip of tea.

"There is actually. This is quite a bad time for me at the moment, and I needed to talk to someone. But of course no-one's at Grimmauld place at the moment, and Sirius says talking is for girls..." he trailed off laughing.

"Well, you can talk to me. You know you can, obviously, or you wouldn't be here".

"It's a bit of a depressing subject, but, umm..." he stopped in thought, as if trying to word it right. But in the end seemed to give up. "My parents died during the first war, on this day" he said, quickly.

"Oh Remus, I'm so sorry" I said, sincerely, I wasn't expecting that, then again I never asked so never knew.

"It's ok, just makes me a bit, upset. On this day anyway. And it helps to talk, instead of Sirius's alternative" he said, smiling.

"Drink"

"Yes" he said, lightly.

"Well, talking is better than drinking" I said, thinking about the other night. "How'd your parents die? If you don't mind me asking".

"When I was five I was bitten by Fenrir Greyback. My father had upset him, and Greyback decided to take it out on me, by waiting till I was on my own and biting me. Anyway, that's the back story. But my dad was ashamed of what he'd caused, though I told him it wasn't his fault. And during the first war, he heard Greyback had joined Voldemort" I shivered but he continued, "and decided to go after him. I had just joined the Order at this time, and had warned him not too, but, he wouldn't listen. Anyway, Deatheaters caught on to what he was trying to do, and we caught on to what the Deatheaters were planning to do" he said, in a deadly whisper.

He sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair. "They got to my parents before I could, and I had to walk up the drive looking at the house, with the dark mark glowing above it" he finished; I gasped and put my cup down. I then reached out my hand and placed it on his knee; he looked down at it and then put his hand on top of it.

"Remus, I'm sorry. I didn't know. That must have been awful for you" I said, he sniffed and sat up straight. He seemed to be forcing himself not to cry.

"Yeah well, it was a long time ago, I don't really have a right to get so upset" he said, sadly.

"What do you mean you don't have a right? Don't be silly, you have every right, they were your parents". He put his legs up on the sofa opposite mine.

"Thanks Tonks" he said, simply, blinking rapidly. He looked around as if looking for something to distract him. "You going to open that letter then?" he asked, hastily, changing the subject. I knew better than to press him, so I went along with it. Though I rolled my eyebrows.

"You really want me to?" I asked, cheekily. He laughed.

"Yes".

"Ok then" I said, picking up the letter and ripping it open. I unfolded the parchment and skimmed through quickly. "It's from Ginny".

"Is she ok?" he asked.

"Would you like me to read it out?" I asked in reply. He nodded and shifted in his seat to get more comfy. "Ok, comfy?" I asked, as if to a little child.

"Yes miss" he squeaked, in a childish voice. I laughed.

"Ok, it says: _Dear Tonks. How are you? Michael is being really clingy, and I can't get anywhere near Harry at the moment cause of that Cho. She's always crying, and I know it's over Cedric but... Anyway, you now know how my love life is, but I've never asked you about yours, so how is it? I'm rambling a bit now, but what I wanted to ask was whether I could see you, sometime soon preferably. We have this new teacher you see, and she's as nice as Sirius's mum. Especially to a select few. And I want to talk to you, because I think mum would freak if I told her, and you're like my sister. So let me know, as soon as you can. Love Ginny." _I read out_. _He was deep in thought.

"As nice as Sirius's mum" he muttered, "she's obviously talking about Umbridge".

"Yes, and I'm going to see her, I'm worried now" I said, looking for a piece of parchment, and a quill. I stood up and looked in the draw; there were scraps of old parchment and a few dusty quills. Now all I needed to find was some ink.

"Ginny likes Harry?" Remus asked. I turned around. _Bum._ I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone.

"Yes, but don't say anything. I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone" I begged.

"Of course I won't, I - ow!" he said, suddenly, jumping off his chair. He pulled away the cushion to expose a bottle of ink wedged down the side of the sofa. He grinned at me, and I grinned back. He tugged the bottle of ink out and handed it to me. I took it and dipped my quill in it, before scribbling on the parchment. I wrote hastily:

_Open portrait at Midnight, Nov 4. See you then, Tonks._

I then turned around, and had a thought. I had no owl. "Oh bugger" I whispered.

"What is it?" he asked, sitting back down, but first checking there were no more ink bottles.

"I have no owl" I said. He laughed and took out his wand. He tapped a piece of crumpled parchment and it turned into a small owl.

"Do you sometimes forget you're a witch? And that you can do magic with this wooden stick that most people call, a wand" he said, smugly. I chucked my quill at him, but handed him the parchment which he shoved into the transfigured bird's beak. He then took it into the kitchen, and I followed. He opened the window and let it go out. It flew off into the night.

"Thank you Remus" I whispered, he turned around and held his arms open. I hugged him tight, and then he let go.

"No problem" he said. "And you can keep that bird just in case you need to send another letter". He smiled down at me, and I laughed lightly at him.

The rest of my evening was pleasant, sitting with Remus, talking, flirting and being good friends. I loved how I felt when I was around him. I felt like myself, normal. Someone who had friends and wasn't judged. I guess he knew what it was like to be judged for something you're not. Metamorphi were generally classed as bad omens to stay clear off, and werewolves were frowned upon by wizarding society as dangerous and dark.

He made me feel good, like no other man had done before. A little piece of my heart melted that night.

His owl was back, though he really belonged to me as he was made from my parchment. It was weird because he looked like a real owl. He hooted softly at me as he dropped Ginny's reply into my lap. It only contained two words, _'can't wait'._ He hooted again, I looked up at him. His eyes were the same colour as Remus's. Damn, why couldn't I stop thinking about that man? I still needed a name for my new feathery friend. I pondered over it for a while before deciding.

Quill. Simple, not very original but he hooted like crazy when I told him his new name. It was perfect. But I'm a bit behind on myself, because Quill is at home, and I am not.

Honeydukes sweet shop was bright, colourful and crammed full of the most delightful sweets to tickle anyone's taste buds. It was cosy, and because there were so little customers at this late hour, it was easy to browse. There were two reasons I was here, one - to buy some sweets for my young Hogwarts friend. The other, was to get into Hogwarts. There was an entrance into Hogwarts through honeydukes cellar, and it was the only way to get in.

I picked up a bag of fizzingwhizzbees (**a/n: Is that spelt right?**) and a big bar of honeydukes best chocolate. As I picked it up, I couldn't help but think of Remus. I'd been doing that a lot lately. I sighed at my own foolishness, because I could not figure out what it was about that man. During the day I could distract myself from thinking on him, and even when I was awake at night. But the dreams and sleep. Sod them! They were doing my head in, because they always showed me him.

I shook my head in annoyance, and headed over to the squeaky mice. I took five, and then I took a few more to be on the safe side. And then a few jelly worms just to be on the safe side as well. Ok, more than a few, but I like these sweets, will you stop hounding me! I walked with my arms full of goodies to the counter and pulled out my purse. The woman looked at my sweets and smiled, taking my money and putting them into a bag.

"Were closing up in a minute dear" said the lady politely, handing me a bag with my sweets in. I smiled at her and looked at the clock on the wall. Eleven pm, I smiled sweetly and made to walk out of the store, thanking her first of course. I walked to the door and put a hand on it, then turned to see the woman going out the back towards the cellar.

I pulled out my wand and disillusioned myself, then opened the door and shut it again so the bell rang, and the lady would think I'd gone. I quickly walked to the cellar door and tucked myself beside it. She would have to come out and lock the front door, and then I would climb into the cellars passageway.

And, like clockwork, she came back out with boxes and put them on the counter. Then she walked to the door. I ran down the cellar stairs and lifted the entrance to the passageway. I replaced the entrance slab so it looked untouched. The tunnel was cramped and dark. I pulled out my wand, took away the disillusion charm and muttered _'lumos'._

The tunnel was smaller than I remembered, but then again, the last time I'd used it was in fifth year, when I snuck out of school with Charlie. I crawled uneasily through the passage way, my bag dragging behind me as I tried to hold both my wand and the bag in front of me. It was difficult to move through the passageway and I cursed like mad every time I bumped my head.

I hadn't asked Dumbledore, which was why I was sneaking into the castle, because I would be asked too many questions. Also it would look suspicious to others, because the Weasley's and I have never really hung out before. So, it was just me and Remus who knew. _Remus. _No Tonks stop; focus on the matter in hand. Soon I reached the end of the passage and muttered _'Dissendium' _to open the one eyed witches hump. I crashed to the floor instead of getting out smoothly. Typical me.

I felt like I was back at Hogwarts, well I was back at Hogwarts, but I meant, it was like I was a student out after curfew. I ran down the corridor and a flight of stairs or two, and finally got the Gryffindor common room Portrait. This was of the Fat Lady, who just happened to hate me. And it's only because when Charlie took me here, she was trying to sing and I said she should give up. I leant against the banister, wondering what the time was, when the portrait opened and the fat lady stirred.

Out popped a red head. Ginny looked tired, but at the sight of me she suddenly looked awake.

"Tonks" she squealed, lunging at me, and hugging me tight.

"Christ Gin" I gasped, as I had the wind knocked out of me. She hastily stepped back and gestured me through the portrait hole. She sat down on a chair near the fire and I plonked myself down in another. No one was awake, which surprised me.

"This common room is a lot different to my old one" I muttered, looking at all the mismatched furniture and red and gold hangings. It was cosy.

"What house were you in?" she asked, curiously. I was sure I'd told her before.

"Hufflepuff". She snorted. "Why, do I not look Hufflepuff material?" I asked, opening a bag of fizzing whizzbees and offering her one.

"No, you look more of a Ravenclaw" she said, extending her arm towards the bag.

"Are you saying I'm uptight and snobby?" I said, indignantly. She giggled and pulled her hand out of the bag. I snatched her hand back and rolled up the sleeve. I gasped in shock. She pulled her hand away. "Ginny, what the bloody hell is that?"

"It's what I wanted to talk to you about. The night I wrote you, was the night it happened. I received detention from-" but I cut her off.

"Umbridge" I growled. She nodded. "But that, that's just, it's...pure evil" I said, furiously.

"I know, but I've only had it once, because I back-chatted her. Loads have had it done to them. It's a quill, you write on the parchment and blood comes out, and the words are cut into your skin" she explained, sweeping her red hair out of her face. I felt physically sick.

"You know, when she left I felt happier cause I didn't have to deal with her, but I'll gladly take her back, she shouldn't be doing this. It's illegal; those quills were banned years ago! Have you told a teacher?"

"The teachers know, but they can't do anything because she's got authority over them now. They just try and help us best they can. Did you know Fred, George and Harry have a lifetime ban from quidditch?" she asked. My mouth fell open. "Yeah, well they have. And I've replaced Harry on the team, not that anyone could replace him, but..."

"And this is all the toad's doing?" I asked.

"You call her that too! And yeah it is" she sighed, "I've missed having a girl to talk to, apart from Hermione, of course, who is scaring me slightly at the moment".

"Yeah, she's too smart if you get my drift. I've been stuck without girl talk, like, forever! All I have is Sirius and Remus".

"Ooooh" she cooed, wiggling her eyebrows.

"What?" I asked, though I knew what she was now giggling at.

"Your face went all dreamy when you said Remus. Tonks loves Lupin" she mocked, enthusiastically.

"No, I don't Ginny". It was the truth, I didn't love him, or at least I think I don't.

"Oh, come on Tonks. Admit it!" she teased.

"I will not, because there's nothing to admit. He's just a good mate. And" I said, threateningly "I could start shouting that you love a certain someone who isn't your boyfriend..."

"You're cruel" she said.

"Got to be cruel to be kind Gin" I laughed, she chucked a pillow in my face. What was it with everyone I knew chucking pillows? Ginny sighed.

"Maybe I should give up".

"No, don't give up. I'd just say, turn the tables. Make him, want you" I smirked.

"He won't because I'm his best friends little sister and Cho Chang is all pretty and smart and Yuk" she scowled.

"Ah, but Ginny, she hasn't got nothing on you" I said, with a wink. She laughed.

"Thanks Tonks" she whispered. "Are you going to tell mum?"

"What about? You fancying Harry? No" I said.

"No, no, about my hand" she said, waving it in front of me.

"No Ginny, I won't. I may speak of it in general but I will not tell your mother" I replied, she looked relieved until I said, "you will". She looked at me as if I'd gone mad.

**Ok, so not a very long chapter, I'll admit, but I'm really sorry, ok? I hope you liked this little instalment, by the way, I have no idea how Remus's parents really died, so I made it up. Hope it was ok, R&R please xxx**


	13. The Moon and Scars

**Hello, all you wonderful people out there! Massive thanks to those who reviewed, please keep them coming, because I love them, and YOU! Special mention: Thank you to fd-hp-ECluvr for bringing my review total over 100! Ok, just got back from my first day back at school, absolutely shattered! Anyway, to celebrate a new 'school year', let's see what Tonks has been up to...**

******_Edited: 20/03/11_**  


The Moon and Scars

The full moon was the biggest, brightest moon of the month. It was also the worst. That's how I saw it, anyway. It was said to be romantic, and beautiful. Well, no matter how many times I'd heard these things, for me, it just wasn't true. Because every month on a full moon Remus John Lupin turned into a werewolf, and not of his own choice. Many would say he was a monster, I beg to differ on that; because I truly believe that the moon is the real monster.

I wished I could blast it from the sky. I desperately wished I could take away this pain from his life, but I couldn't. So I was doing what any good friend would do. It was the middle of November, the night after the full moon, and I was going to check on him.

He was sitting in the drawing room, facing away from me. A book lay face down on his lap, as he raised his hand and dragged it through his hair. He turned towards me when he heard the floor board creak underneath me, but turned back quickly and began shuffling like he was hiding something.

Silently, I made my way over to the sofa he was sitting on and sat down next to him. He had carefully positioned his head so that I couldn't see half his face, and the other half was in a slight shadow. He was wearing only a dressing gown, that went down to his knees and his hair was streaking more prominent grey.

"Remus..." I whispered, but he wouldn't look at me. He kept his eyes fixed on the floor. I reached out my hand to touch his face, to move it towards me, to know what he was hiding, but he pushed it away. I felt slightly hurt by this, and though we had barely said anything to each other, the atmosphere in the room was as if we'd had a blazing row.

"Remus, please look at me" I pleaded softly, but he ignored me. "If you were really my friend you would look at me" I said, playing the guilt card. I knew he would look up, and I was right. He looked up at me, his face covered in scratches. He hadn't taken his wolfsbane; he knew I'd be angry. But I wasn't, I was furious.

"Remus, how could you?" I asked, as his eyes met mine.

"I thought I could handle it" he muttered, shrugging.

"Remus, why didn't you take it? Why did you have to put yourself through this? And why won't you look at me?" I whispered, angrily.

"You wouldn't understand" he growled, startling me but I shook it off. I reached out my hand again, and he didn't push it away. As I placed it on his cheek, I could feel him leaning into it. I moved myself forwards, so I was inches away.

"Then make me understand" I breathed. He put his hand on mine and took it off his cheek.

"I could have hurt him" he muttered, I looked confusedly at him. "Sirius. I can't exactly remember but apparently he was trying to restrain me and I hurt him" he whimpered. Yes, he whimpered.

"You didn't mean too" I said, reassuringly. "And I'm sure Sirius doesn't blame you". He nodded in confirmation to my statement, "but why haven't you done anything about these bruises and cuts?" He pulled out a tube of white paste from his dressing gown pocket. I put my hands on his dressing gown and untied the knot. He seemed startled by this, as he froze.

"Tonks, what are you doing?" he said, hoarsely, staring at the place I was undoing. I took off his dressing gown, and gasped. He had a cut from the base of his neck, all the way down to his belly button, with several other new gashes on either side of it. I felt like crying. "Tonks, I, there not..." he trailed off, but I'd already left the couch, I was standing over him.

"Where's Sirius?" I asked. He ignored me. "Well, I guess I'll have to do it then" I said, taking the salve from his hand and kneeling down in front of him. He looked curiously at me but I refused to look back. I unscrewed the cap and squirted a small amount of paste on my hand. I put in to his chest and started rubbing it in. If I wasn't so pissed with him, I would have registered the warmth, and the tingling sensation I felt as I rubbed it in. He lent back into the cushions, his eyes were closed.

I was done on the front, and the cuts were healing slowly, leaving slightly smaller scars than they would have done if they'd gone, un-healed. "I'm guessing there's some on your back too, lay on your front" I instructed.

"Tonks" he muttered in protest, but I glared at him and he made the smart decision not to argue with me. He turned onto his front and laid on the couch, head in his arms. I sat back on the sofa next to him on the edge, before I started the whole thing again. There were less new ones on his back, but there were plenty of old ones all over his body. I was starting to feel the heat now. Remus Lupin was naked except for his underwear.

I stopped rubbing and he sat up again, without making eye contact and looking a bit uncomfortable.

"I have to do your face" I said, simply, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice.

"You don't have to" he said, as I squirted a dab of paste onto my finger.

"I know" I said, reaching for his face, and moving closer to him. "But I want too".

I began gently dabbing the paste in. The paste tube was on my lap, and balancing badly. I was trying to concentrate on the cut but I kept getting distracted by his eyes. I was finished rubbing in the paste. It was only then that I realised how close my face was to his. Our foreheads were almost touching; he held my eyes with his. The tube of paste slid from my lap and landed with a dull thump on the floor. Neither of us looked.

His hands came up slowly and cupped my face. "I'm sorry for upsetting you" he whispered, huskily. I breathed in his delicious scent, a mixture of chocolate and peppermint. I felt intoxicated, and I couldn't think about anything outside this room. My hand hesitantly reached up to his hair. He drew me closer to him, his hands moving down to encircle my waist. I was shocked to say the least, my breath hitched. I felt myself lean in slightly. He lent in, his eyes flickering from mine to my lips. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, and be kissed by him at that moment. My brain went fuzzy as his lips came within an inch of mine.

There was a sharp knock at the door. Remus and I jumped apart, and I landed on the floor with a crash. Sirius opened the door that I didn't even know had been shut. I turned to look at him, in the dim light I could see a bruise that covered his right cheek, it looked pretty bad but at the moment I couldn't care less. He'd just interrupted a moment in my life that I would probably never get back. I felt like chucking the tube of paste at him that was lying on the floor next to me. Instead I picked it up and screwed the lid back on.

A hand was in front of my face, offering to help me up. I took and pulled myself off the cold floor, then looked up at the owner of the hand. Sirius was looking at me curiously. I let go, and turned to give Remus back his paste but he'd already gone. I looked back at Sirius.

"He left a second ago. I take it you rubbed the ointment in? Thank you. He'll never usually do it himself. He's more of a, suffer in silence, type. At school, we would have to be force him to go to Pomfrey. Stubborn" he said, quietly.

"Oh, well, you're welcome, and where were you?" I asked. Sirius looked guiltily at me.

"Remus and I had a bit of a fight. He's being stupid about the bruise, like I haven't had worse" muttered Sirius, rolling his eyes.

"Well maybe you should go talk to him? He is your friend" I said, staring pointedly towards the door.

"He's your friend too" he said, I raised my eyebrows at him. "Ok, I'm going". And he left.

I sat down onto the sofa again, my head was whirling. _Oh no Tonks, you stupid girl! You've probably just fucked up your friendship with Remus. Why did you have to go and do that, admittedly he did it first and yes you are very attracted to him, but you could have backed off. It looks like you've just lost the best friend you ever had. _The thing was I didn't know why I was so attracted to Remus, but he was smart and caring and sometimes, the way he looked at me, made my heart pound. I shook my head tiredly; I wouldn't not go there. I wouldn't let myself.

I had fallen asleep, and it was now morning. I looked around, the fire was out and the curtains were open, though it was freezing in the room. It was raining hard outside, not a nice day then. I rubbed my eyes and stood up from the sofa, stretching my arms above my head. They ached badly; I had been laying on them. It was only as I stood up that I realised someone had put a blanket over me, which had fallen to the floor. I picked it up and wrapped it round my shoulders, then exited the room in search of a warm cup of tea.

When I stepped into the kitchen, I immediately wished I hadn't. Remus was standing by the kettle, and had heard me come in. He turned to face me, and his face fell. He looked slightly ashamed as he bit his lip and turned away.

"Remus, I..." I said, trailing off, not knowing what to say. I felt heat rush to me face, and looked at the floor.

"Look Tonks about the other night..." he turned to face me "Forgive me? Please".

"Of course" I said, smiling slightly.

"Thank you, I just wasn't being, myself. Can we start over? Be friends" he asked, a slight plea in his voice.

"Yep" I said, bouncing over to him. He turned to the side and looked at me suspiciously. "Hi, my name is Nymphadora Tonks, but I'd prefer you call me Tonks. I'm the only child of Andromeda and Ted Tonks, and I am an Auror at the Ministry of Magic. I'm also a metamophmagus, which comes in handy sometimes, and I love the Weird sisters" I reeled off, holding out my hand to shake his. He laughed a rich deep laugh that made me shiver slightly. "What? You said we should start over".

"Ok. My names Remus Lupin, but my nickname is Moony. I'm a werewolf, and am one of the four marauders. I'm an only child too, and my parents were killed during the first war. I'm currently unemployed, working for the Order of the Phoenix and living with a 'mass murderer'. I prefer reading to music" he breathed, and then smiled at me. I laughed; it was actually quite funny how it all comes out in a jumble.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Remus" I said, shaking his hand now, "I hope we'll be good friends".

"I hope so too" he said, and then asked "do you want a cup of tea?"

"Yes please" I said, brightly. He began pouring out the tea and I was still beaming, though admittedly a little too widely to be considered normal. Although I was happy that we were friends again, very happy, I did feel a slight twinge of disappointment. Which I ignored. Just before he went to pick the cups up I dived at him and hugged him.

"Hey, Tonks, erm..." he trailed off, though his arm wrapped around me slightly.

"I'm so glad I have my friend back" I mumbled into his jumper, I could feel him play with a lock of my hair for a minute.

"I'm glad too" he said, resting his chin on my head. I had my friend back, I hadn't fucked everything up, and Christmas would soon be here! Life was sweet.

**Ok, suckish ending right. Very small chapter, I know, but I wrote this as a one off and decided I really wanted to put it in. Now I'm sorry about use of the F word. I know you probably wanted them to kiss, and believe me, so did I but...No, hahahaha!**

**Next chapter there will be more Remus/Tonks intimate awkwardness, I hope. Next Chapter is called: Christmas is coming...yep it's about Easter! Lol, joking : D Review if ya want, cuz you no it'll make me happy :) xx**


	14. Christmas is coming

**Hello there.** **Big thanks to all those who have reviewed, I love you all, and please keep them coming. I've wrote another story called Prominent Darkness which can be found on my profile, it's a one-shot on Arthur being attacked at the ministry, through Tonks P.O.V. Written for fd-hp-ECluvr, as she's mad about those sort of fics, but I would love it if you all checked it out. **

**_Edited: 24/03/11_**

Christmas is coming!

My hair was stunning, even if I did say so myself. It was Christmas, well not really Christmas yet, but Christmas was on its way. I wanted to enjoy this month to the full. I'd just put the finishing touches on my Christmas tree when an inspiring idea hit me. It was creative, festive and jolly, which was definitely a first for me.

I'd been looking at my left over decorations, wondering where I could possibly squeeze them, and the idea popped into my head.

My hair was dark green and layered with deep crinkles, outlining each layer. I had a bow in the shape of a star pining on the top of my head, though it was sliding slightly as I walked. I pined real tinsel in zigzag's across my hair and had picked up a couple of ball baubles and tied them into my hair. The knots were so tight that I was actually dreading taking them out. Not that I wanted to, because to me, it was a work of art. I just hoped the rest of the order thought that.

My hand was on the kitchen door, I could barely hear anything and I could tell Dumbledore hadn't arrived. The front door opened behind me, startling me slightly, and I pushed open the kitchen door and jumped through it, shutting it with grace. Yes, I did manage to shut it with grace, though I was so stunned at this I nearly tripped over my laces on the way to the table.

Remus and Sirius were conversing in hushed tones at the end of the table, and hadn't seemed to notice me at all. By the looks of things, Sirius was accusing Remus of something, who was then replying heatedly, yet quietly that something _'wasn't like that'. _I knew this because he said it a bit louder than the whisper he using was previously.

I coughed to signal my arrival. They both jumped and turned to me, Sirius's face was a cross between shocked and annoyed, and Remus's was just startled.

"Hello Tonks" said Sirius, seriously. _Sirius seriously. _Got to love a dodgy sense of humour.

"Hi" I murmured, making my way down to them "was I interrupting something?"

"No" said Remus, quickly. My eyebrows rose in disbelief, but I wasn't being looked at by either of them, so I sat down, defeated.

"Ok, I'll pretend I believe you" I said, in my most patronizing voice. Sirius smiled slightly at this, and then he eyed me and laughed.

"Tonks, your hair" he stated, pointing to my Christmas tree hair style.

"What about it?" I asked, nonchalantly.

"It's...unusual" he said, I felt a little downcast at this.

"What he means is it's very festive" Remus smiled at me, and Sirius nodded eagerly, obviously trying to make up for his rudeness. I smiled back at them. More of the order began to fill in as I chatted animatedly with Sirius and Remus, the previous awkwardness had vanished. Several people complimented me on my festivity, while Snape sneered and Emmeline glared, and came to sit next to Remus. _Oh not again!_ I thought, but luckily Dumbledore walked in just after and everyone became quiet.

"Good evening all. I hope I find you all well" he smiled to everyone. "Now we have numerous reports to give, and I would like to note the success of guarding the prophecy. It's seems no-one is taking it lightly. Anyway, Severus, would you like to relay your information". Snape didn't even bother standing up.

"The dark lords followers have managed to convince the giants to take his side in the upcoming war. There next target will be the Dementors that guard Azkaban, and it's safe to say that his old followers will join him. When and where this will happen I do not know" he finished sneering, as if daring someone to ask why he didn't know.

"Thank you Severus that has shed a bit of light on the subject" Dumbledore said, beaming before turning to..._Me? _"Miss Tonks, I was hoping to visit the Gryffindor common room, before turning in tonight. Does that sound like a good idea?" he said, innocently, a twinkle in his eye. There were look of confusion around the table; Sirius and Remus were staring at me with interest. I knew what he was talking about, but couldn't think how he would know.

"How did you know?" I asked. He chuckled slightly.

"It's hard to keep things secret, even in a castle as big as Hogwarts. But I must ask, why were you there?" he asked.

I sighed, nothing ever gets past Dumbledore. "The reason for me being there was because I got a letter from a student who needed some advice".

"Ok, miss Tonks, I believe you" he chuckled, "anyway, back to business. Kingsley, if you please". Kingsley stood up, and I sighed in relief. No more interrogation. Sirius was looking at me in curiosity and Remus in admiration. Emmeline wasn't looking at me at all. I turned my attention back to Kingsley.

"-the Minister's campaign against Dumbledore and Harry has not stopped, though he hasn't been quite as concerned about them. Scrimgeour on the other hand is interrogating people left, right and centre. It's hard to stop being caught out, as our Miss Tonks has found out. On a happier note, our trips to the department on mysteries have become more and more unnoticed" he finished, inclining his head to Dumbledore.

"That's wonderful news" Dumbledore said. "Anything else to add before this meeting wraps up?" Dumbledore ask the whole gathering. Arthur cleared his throat.

"I wish to switch my guard duty times with Tonks next week. I do next week and she does this week. If that would be ok?" He asked. Dumbledore turned to me.

"Is that ok with you Miss Tonks?" he asked, politely.

"Yep" I said, happily, I didn't mind which week I did. Arthur smiled appreciatively.

"Ok well if there's nothing else, I'll be taking my leave now" said Dumbledore, standing up. The majority rose with him and headed towards the door, to leave. I pulled the baubles out of my hair, as they were irritating me, and rose from the table as well. I made towards the door.

"You are leaving?" Sirius asked, perplexed.

"Yep, there's a whole street full of shops calling my name". Both Remus and Sirius raised their eyebrows at me. "Christmas shopping" I said, my eyes sparkling.

"Oh" said Sirius, disappointedly, "have fun".

"I will, see ya" I said.

"Peace out" said Sirius, flashing me the V-sign, the nice way round.

"Bye Nymphadora" said Remus.

"I'm sooo changing my name" I muttered, before walking out of the kitchen.

Diagon alley was packed full of excitable witches and wizards, showing off their purchases to their friends and gossiping about different articles that had come up in certain witch magazines, such as Witch Weekly. It was safe to say that most of the gossipers were of the female variety. I lapped up the atmosphere; I loved how Christmas could make people feel happy for just that one reason. My pocket was freshly filled with my well-earned Auror wages from Gringotts, and I was ready to go spend it, even though it wasn't on me.

There were a number of small shops that opened only for Christmas, packed full of the most amazing presents known to wizarding kind. It was all I could do to stop myself sprinting into the first one I saw. As I entered I was blown away by the colours and bubbles floating in the air around me. The shelves were stacked high with fresh stock, and the crowds were browsing excitedly through a variety of wonderful, and in some cases strange, presents. I grabbed a basket from beside the door; it instantly floated at my side. No need to worry about losing it.

I started on the kid's presents first, manoeuvring my way carefully to the left of the store which was crammed with presents to satisfy even the most ungrateful kids. It took me over an hour to decide what to get each one in the end.

I found the most perfect presents though, which consisted of a small model of a firebolt, that flew around the room, for Harry; A tin of broom polish for Ron and his new broom; Hermione had a book mark which was made of metal, encrusted with sparkly jewels around the edges and had the words_ 'Knowledge is Passion' _engraved in it. Fred and George had a funny find, though I was hoping they wouldn't tell their parents who had given it to them. It was a brown leather bound book with the title _'101 ways to wind up your parents' _printed in gold on the front. I'm sure they would appreciate it. Ginny was the hardest of all, as I deliberated between two presents, a book called _'The mystery that is wizards' _and a small silver locket, which was diamond shaped and had a small blue gem in the shape of a heart, placed in the middle. It was petite and so Ginny. Then I decided, _what the heck_, I'll get her both.

The adults weren't too hard though I found them all in different places around Diagon alley. I went into Magical menagerie, and came out with Sirius's present, a black, silver studded dog collar. I hoped he would laugh at this, and not get grumpy with me. I found Mad-eye's present in an old Antique shop. It was a pure silver flask, with the shape of an eagles head at the flasks opening. I'd checked it for curses and would assure Mad-Eye of this, though he was likely to check it again anyway. I also got Molly and Arthur a very delicate china set, which had been wrapped and boxed so that if I did drop it, it wouldn't break. Unless of course it was out of the packaging.

I went into Glad Rags Wizarding Wear from Dumbledore's present, a nice pair of multi-coloured woollen socks. He'd once mentioned about never having enough. I brought Matthew a red and blue scarf that was sitting on the exact same shelf as Dumbledore's socks. I brought some cologne for Bill that I found at the counter as I paid for Dumbledore's socks. I hoped it'd be helpful in his attempt to win the French girl, _Fleur. _I'd met her when I went into Gringotts, immediately recognising who she was from Bills descriptions, and she seemed like a lovely girl. And I could definitely see why Bill liked her.

I brought my mum and dad relatively the same things as I did every year. I always brought dad a bottle of branded alcohol, some of Diagon alleys best brandy, and mum a piece of jewellery. This year it came in the form of a white diamond pendant that cost more than the kids presents put together. The only thought going through my mind as I brought it was that she'd _better bloody love it!_

Now I had one present left to get, Remus's. I mused over what to get him while I was buying everyone else's present and just didn't know what to get him. A new book, a new cloak, a chess set? It suddenly struck me how little I knew about Remus. I walked into a shop I hadn't been in yet, without thinking about. And then I saw why I'd gone in here, it was like a magnetic pull. There was everything I'd wanted to get him in here. And to the left of me was a rich brown cloak, with a small gold fastener. It also had an inside pocket, which I had an idea about. Remus's favourite treat was chocolate. A small smile played on my lips as I paid for my purchases, and as I walked out of the shop I felt satisfied with the days shopping.

My quill was moving across the parchment with such vigour, that the ink splattered on my nose, but I didn't care. I'd just arrested a thief and had to now do the paper work for it. How did you find out about this man? What sources did you use? How did you conduct you investigation? What evidence did you gather? How did the suspect react when you arrested him?

What pointless questions I had to answer when a good answer would be; Kingsley told me about this man, we went looking for him in a local pub, we took his stolen stuff from his home and when we arrested him he made a poor escape attempt, by kicking Dobbins in the goolies! He went down like a sack of potatoes, but the thief didn't count on me being as strong as I was, and I tackled him to the ground, Muggle style. Oh, how I wished I could write that and get off home, and start enjoying my week free of guard duty.

Quill, my loyal and loving new owl, was perched on the edge of my desk, his head hidden under his wing as he slept. He was different from normal owls in that he slept at night and awoke during the day. Though admittedly he would be tired lately, I sent him back and forth with presents I'd wrapped up. Some of them were rather heavy. I had of course dropped the Grimmauld Place ones around myself, but the Weasley's had been sent to their house, along with Harry's and Hermione's had been sent to Hogwarts, along with Dumbledore's.

I put my quill down a rubbed my forehead. I was working quite late and started to wonder if switching guard duty really had any advantage, as I stayed in the Ministry as late as anyone who did duty. I stood up and stretched, deciding to call it a night. I picked up quill (my owl) and popped him on my shoulder. He looked extremely disgruntled by this as he shook he feathers out a glared at me with his beady eyes. I ignored him and walked down the corridor towards the lift.

The lift came to an abrupt halt at the Atrium, and I stepped out into the silent room. It was echo-y and freaky when it was like this, but just then another lift clanged open and two wizards rushed out carrying someone between them, and a witch ran out after them.

"We have to floo him, he's lost too much blood and apparation won't help" said one of the wizards.

"But they're both as bad as each other. Does it really matter?" asked the other, as they made their way swiftly towards the fireplaces.

"Just floo with him already" screeched the witch beside them. I ran forwards to help them and just as I got there I froze. My stomach lurched in repulsion and horror. The man they were carrying was Arthur Weasley and he was covered head to toe in blood. The wizards flooed quickly to St Mungos, and the witch was about to follow, but she quickly turned round to me.

"Are you coming?" she asked, seeing my pale face that was mixed with horror. I nodded and she put her arm comfortingly around her shoulder and pulled me into the fireplace.

Arthur was rushed into emergency surgery, as the kind witch who I still didn't know the name of, sat beside me, along with one of the wizards who had carried him here. The other had been summoned to the Ministry to explain the night's events. I wondered whether Molly had been told, and on that thought, I knew I needed to inform her. A healer came up to us.

"Mr Weasley's family will have to be notified immediately. Unfortunately we have no way of notifying them, do any of you..." he trailed off as I spoke.

"I'll go see Molly, I'll tell her" I said, he eyed me wearily.

"And you are?"

"Auror Tonks" I nearly growled, he stepped back and nodded. Without a glance back at anyone in the hospital I disapparated with the Burrow in mind, though I could only remember it from my school days.

I landed on the outskirts of the Burrow, there crooked, cosy home in front of me. There was a light on in the kitchen, and I dashed towards the house at full speed, only slowing down when I was less than a meter from the door. I nearly smacked into it, but skidded to a halt before wrenching the door open.

"Molly" I nearly screamed in my haste.

"I know" came a voice by the table. "Is he still alive?" I nodded. Molly was standing scribbling furiously on a piece of parchment, and then she handed it Fawkes who disappeared. She looked up at me, tears cascading silently down her cheeks. "Dumbledore just informed me, I'm now going to see him".

"He's in a bad way Molly. Do you want some company?" I asked.

"That would be nice. And also, Dumbledore's not meant to know this has happened, so if I'm with you, it'll be less suspicious. The kids have been sent to Sirius" she whispered, her voice cracking. I put my arm around her shoulder in the same comforting way the witch had done earlier to me. We walked over to the fireplace and I took some floo powder in my hand, then we flooed straight to St. Mungos together.

Molly was taken into a room with a head Healer, and I sat outside. It was then that I realised Quill was missing. I jumped up and thought back to when I last had him. So much had happened tonight, that I couldn't remember. It was my entire fault. If I hadn't swapped then Arthur would still be un-harmed and Quill wouldn't have been abandoned.

Molly came out of the room after half an hour and sent a watery smile my way. I couldn't return it though, I was feeling too guilty.

"Tonks dear, he's going to be alright" said Molly, soothingly. She shouldn't have to do this, it should be the other way round.

"It's entirely my fault. If I hadn't switched Guard Duty..." she hushed me up with a meaningful look.

"Nymphadora Tonks, none of this is your fault. If you hadn't have switched it would have been you in Arthur's position. I'm not saying that I'm not sorry he was on Duty, and it was nobody's fault but" she took an intake of breath "V-Voldemort's". I looked up at her; she had never used his name before. She looked slightly shocked herself.

"I'm so sorry Molly" I said, apologetically, stifling a yawn. It was quite late now. She looked at me with a kind smile.

"Like I said it's not your fault. I'm going to get my kids from Grimmauld Place and take them to see Arthur in the morning. They said he'll be awake by then, and Mad-Eye will most likely want to come along" she said, more to herself than me. "Bill will be here soon" she muttered.

"I will come too, and accompany you and the kids. I will come over in the morning" I said, I really wanted to be there.

"Ok dear, but go and get some sleep. You look awful" she said pointing at the bags under my eyes, I morphed and they disappeared. "That doesn't fool me, now off to bed" she commanded. I smiled appreciatively at Molly before saying goodnight and flooing to my flat.

As I entered my flat, I felt a great sadness rush over me. My mind was spinning from the night's events. Arthur's body covered in so much blood swam before my eyes. I was brought out of my reeve by a soft hooting sound, and Quill flew onto my shoulder.

"Quill" I whispered, in astonishment.

"He was waiting outside" said a voice from the corner, as Quill flew off my shoulder onto the table. I looked up and saw Remus standing in the corner. For that moment I didn't care how he got here, all I cared about was that he was there. I ran over to where he was and threw my arms around him. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight, as the tears that had been threatening to spill out finally did. He pulled me towards the sofa and sat me down, then he left and entered the kitchen. When he came back he had a glass of firewhisky in his hand, and he handed it to me, before sitting himself down.

I drank the firewhisky in one gulp, feeling the burning sensation in my throat. I turned to him and saw he was watching me intently.

"How did you get here? I mean, why are you here?" I asked.

"I got a message from Sirius about half an hour ago, I should be on my mission but I decided I needed to see you. I knew you'd be feeling guilty because you swapped duty with him" he said, meaning Arthur.

"If I hadn't agreed-" I was cut off.

"You weren't to know. And if it wasn't Arthur, it would have been you. And I wouldn't have wanted that. Damn, that sounds bad" he said, pulling my head to rest on his shoulder, I tucked my feet under me and rested my head lower down on his chest more comfortably. I brought my hand up to rest beside my head on his chest. I heard him sigh, as he snaked an arm protectively around my waist.

I fell asleep in contentment, as my breathing fell in line with his. I was warm wrapped in his arms. But in the morning I would wake up, tucked up in bed, completely alone.

**Review please, please, please? For reviewing you'll get to go on a shopping spree with an order member of your choice. Lol XD So, please? P.s. please read prominent darkness, thank you. I shall update soon, hopefully!**


	15. Christmas Inquisitions

**Ok, so here is chapter 15 and its Christmas people! Not at the moment for us obviously, but it is for Tonks! Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers for your kind words and pearls of wisdom. And thanks to those who read my one-shot (mentioned in chap 14 A/N). Hope you like this...**

**_Edited: 13/04/11_**

Christmas Inquisitions!

I'd gone to St. Mungos with the Weasleys. Arthur was in a state but had put on a brave face for us. What caused his injuries, were unknown, but the healers suspected it was a type of snake with rare venom. They couldn't find a cure for it, so for the time being he was bandaged up and had to stay in Hospital for a while. He waved away my apologies, saying that it wasn't my fault, just like everyone else. We started discussing how Harry knew about it before anyone else, and Mad-eye put quite bluntly that Harry was being possessed by Voldemort. I was quite shocked to say the least, but I had my doubts about Mad-eye's theory.

On the way home, I couldn't help but look at Harry more closely, as if to see if there were any signs he was being possessed. I mentally slapped myself for being so stupid, of course Harry was normal, and I shouldn't have looked at him that way. True he did seem really pale, not that he'd looked particularly good when we left the House, but he had no colour on his face, at all. He wasn't even talking to Ron.

On the tube, something fell out of George's pocket that looked suspiciously like an extendible ear. I raised my eyebrows at the twins, and realised that there were probably more extendable's in their pockets. Their innocent looks were thoroughly unconvincing, and so I accio-ed all the ears to me when no-one was looking. And that's when I realised why Harry was looking so pale. And the kids were so quiet. They must have been listening to our conversation at the hospital. I had groaned, and seven pairs of eyes had turned to look at me.

I quickly put this out of my mind, and was now scrambling around my flat picking up items of clothing and chucking them into my small rucksack, which of course had an undetectable extension charm on it. Weird Sisters was playing from the wizarding wireless, which was perched dangerously on top of a stack of paperwork, and I could help but twirl a little to the music as it played. I was wearing my black Weird Sisters t-shirt with black skinny jeans and leather boots. I'd seen them in a store whilst in Diagon Alley, and though I detest shopping, I'm still a girl. And they were cool shoes. Do the Arithmacy.

I heard a knock at the door, and walked rhythmically to the beat of the song, and opened the door. Standing the doorway was Matthew Dobbins, my Ministry friend and totally gorgeous Auror partner… not that I cared.

"Hey Tonks" he said, smiling widely at me. Then he looked at the random items of clothing in my hands. "What are you doing?"

"Oh. Wotcher Matt! I'm packing. Got the week off so I'm spending Christmas with my parents" I said. "What's up?"

"Oh, I just thought I'd drop your Christmas present round" he said, holding up a parcel wrapped in red and gold paper. He handed it to me, and I took it happily. I loved receiving presents. I waved him into my flat.

"Come in, come in. I have your present in here. Somewhere" I said, looking around my messy flat. He laughed and followed me inside, snapping the door shut behind us.

"I'm surprised you can find anything in here. It's a mess" he laughed. I poked my tongue out at him as I walked towards my bedroom.

"I resent that" I called. "It's unorganised, clumsy and random. Just like me" I said, cheerily, knocking over a pile of books. I ignored them and walked over to my bed; where I had spread out all the presents I'd been given, ready to pack them. I slung the clothes that were in my hand into the bag, and looked under the bed for Matthew's present.

"How are you getting all that stuff in that small bag?" he asked, curiously from close by. I banged my head on the bottom of my bed as his voice startled me. It was then that I spotted his present, grabbed it and got out from under there. I handed it to him.

"I'm a very good packer" I said, innocently, rubbing my sore head. He raised his eyebrows at me as I sat down in the bed. He came and sat next to me. I shifted uncomfortably.

"You mean you used an undetectable extension charm" he said, knowingly. I didn't reply. I just placed the biggest present in my bag, along with Matthews. "Need any help?"

"You can if you like" I shrugged. He picked up a package and held it up to his eyes, as though admiring it. Then he passed it to me.

"Who's Snuffles?" he asked. I froze, a clear sign of guilt, and looked up at him.

"Oh, he's just a mate. We call him that as a joke, nickname type thing" I said airily. This was true in a way, but I wanted Matt to drop the subject. He just shrugged.

"Whatever. Poor guy" he said, putting it in the bag.

It only took us ten minutes to pack everything in my rucksack. I did up the clasps and put it by the door ready to go. Matthew got out his wand and waved it over the mess in my house. Everything broken was instantly repaired; cluttered junk was neatening itself and all the rubbish from my overflowing bin, vanished. Even the surfaces had been dusted.

"Thanks Matt" I said, giving him a big hug. "You didn't have to do that".

"I know, but I wanted to" he said, "anyway, now that that's all done, do you want to go for a walk? It's snowing lightly outside, and I love to walk in it" he asked, enthusiastically. He looked like a young boy who had just seen a house made entirely of candy.

"Well, I'm cutting it a bit fine to get to my parents but I could walk with you for a while, then apparate from wherever we end up" I said, deliberating. He nodded eagerly and opened the front door. I grabbed my long black coat, and buttoned it up around me. Then I turned, grabbed my bag and walked out with Matthew.

We'd walked around Leicester square, the building had huge moving pictures on them and the streets were busy. It was amazing how new it all seemed to me, even though I'd been living in London for a long time. Matthew had made to hold my hand once, but I'd brushed through my hair as he went to do it. I had had a feeling that Matthew's feelings towards me were more than a little friendly, and now I felt I had confirmation. Still, it didn't matter, because I didn't feel the same. I just wanted him as a friend, because he was a good friend. I tried very hard not to sigh out loud; I knew one day I would have to explain that to him.

Soon, we came to a small alley, in between two large, noisy restaurants. Thankfully, we were out of sight from any Muggle's, so it was the perfect place to disapparate.

"Well, I'll see you soon" I said to him, taking my wand out of my pocket and giving him a brief hug.

"I hope so" he replied, as I pulled back. He looked at me for a couple of seconds, and lent towards me slowly. I quickly turned away in shock, and held up my wand. With a brief smile, which I hoped would convey that I was sorry but I would not be kissing him… ever, I apparated to my parents front door. I raised my hand and knocked twice. It was bloody freezing here, in the middle of nowhere. The snow was slightly thicker on the ground.

Mum opened the door. "There you are Dora! I was worried" she took one look at my downcast face and asked, "what's wrong?" I don't know why I did it, but I clung to her in the first proper hug I'd given her in years. She shut the door and pulled me into the living room, still holding on to me.

"So, this guy likes you then?" she asked, intrigued.

"I think so. But I just..." I trailed off thinking what it was that I just...

"Don't like him that way" mum offered, helpfully. I smiled at her; mum was the best person to talk about these sorts of things.

"Yeah. He's like a brother to me, if you know what I mean" I said. I knew that wasn't the only reason, and I could tell that she did too, but I wasn't about to tell her anything. Unless she brought it up of course, which she was bound to.

"Yes Darling, I understand, but I have a feeling that's not the only reason" she said, knowingly. Damn. She brought it up. I should have betted with someone on that; nothing ever gets past my mother.

"Well, there is this guy I know. And I started really liking him. He's just...amazing. He's really kind, and funny, and sweet. And exceptionally smart and he just...makes me feel like..."

"Like you're the only person in the world that matters" she finished off my sentence for me.

"Exactly. Is that bad?" I asked, cautiously. She laughed at me, and then summoned a bottle of wine and two glasses, that glided towards us.

"Darling, any man who makes you feel like that is special. Not many men are like that. This guy sounds really genuine to me" she said, thinking it over. "I think, the next time you see Matthew, you should just explain that you don't want a serious relationship and you'd like to just be friends. If he agrees then that's good, and if he doesn't, well, he's not worth worrying about" she said. She poured the wine into two glasses and handed me one. Then she glanced at the clock when she thought I wasn't looking.

"Why isn't dad back yet? It's getting late" I asked, she sighed. She looked more exhausted than I'd seen her all night.

"Well, I don't know. But I'm getting worried. I mean, you-know-who is out there somewhere, and his followers. And my family is a prime target as 'blood traitors'" she said, grimly. "And that means you and your father".

"So you believe Dumbledore and Harry then?" I asked.

"Of course I do. Dumbledore has helped me a lot in my time and I see no reason for him to lie. And why would that boy lie about something as serious as this? I mean, he's had so much happen to him, why would he want more attention? I believe them Dora" she said, and then stared at me. "And I should hope, though you work at the Ministry, that you believe them too".

"Of course I do mum. But it's hard at the Ministry, it's frustrating the way they lie about Dumbledore and Harry, but I can't stand up to them, I'll be sacked" I stated.

"I know dear, I wasn't expecting you too" Mum said, smiling slightly. "Anyway, changing the subject. Who's this guy you fancy?" she asked, but just then the door opened, and Ted Tonks walked in, wet from the falling snow.

"I'm so sorry I'm late Darling, got held up with a client" he said, and then he spotted me, "Dora! Come give your dad a hug" he said, holding his arms open.

"Only when you've dried off" I laughed, he shrugged and sat down in the armchair by the fireplace. Mum summoned him a glass of what looked like Firewhisky. He drank it appreciatively. The topic of the guy I fancied was dropped for the rest of the night, though I was pretty sure my mother hadn't forgotten and would, no doubt, bring it up again at some point. But even still, there was no way I was going to tell her that there was a slight possibility that I was falling for Remus.

On Christmas morning I looked out my window, it wasn't snowing. It was thundering. _Perfect!_ It was my favourite day of the year and there was a storm outside. I reached to the left side of my bed and grabbed my bag; yanking it open I pulled out all my presents and laid them out on the bed. I reached for the small green one first and tore it open, just like I used to do when I was a kid. There was a small book full of different hairstyles and what colour suited best. Ginny had wrote '_For Inspiration' _on the inside cover. I had a quick flick through before putting it down and picking up a large squishy one, wrapped in blue paper with Christmas stockings on it. I opened it to find a pink knitted jumper with the initials '_NT_' on them. Molly had written a Christmas card too, from the whole family.

I grabbed the one Matthew had given me and opened it with vigour. In it was a scarf that was red and decorated with green Christmas trees. There was a note inside. _'Depending on occasion, the scarf will change pattern and colour, if there is no special occasion; it will change to suit your mood. Merry Christmas__,__ Tonks x'._

It was pretty cool, but I put it to the side of me and pulled a present towards me that was rectangular in shape. I untied the bow and lifted the lid to reveal the most stunning pair of pink leather boots I'd ever seen. I squealed softly, and vowed to wear them today, along with my jumper. There was a card in the box, so I picked it up and opened it. _'Dearest Nymphadora, Merry Christmas darling, we hope you like them. Love you, Mum and Dad xx'._

I had two presents left now. I pulled Sirius's one towards me and opened it. I gasped. There in lap was a solid silver picture frame, with two people standing in the picture and a dog bounding around them. Remus and I had our arms around each other's shoulders as he tried to stop us both from falling over, as we laughed merrily at Sirius who was hyper around us. There was no note but this picture had obviously been taken sneakily. I remember Remus having to grab me, as I laughed so hard at something I couldn't remember now. I stared down at Remus, taking in everything in the picture. The softness of his eyes, his shabby robes and his kindly smile. Everything about that man...

I put the picture down, and reached for the last present. It was a small box, the casing was brown leather and there was a silver clasp. A letter was stuck to the top of it. I decided to open the letter first.

_Dear Nymphadora,_

_I used your first name and I will continue to as it suits you. Beautiful and unique. Sirius says something else but don't worry, I hit him for it. Anyway, Merry Christmas and I hope to see you for the New Year, but if not, Happy New Year! I hope you will like my present, it isn't new, and in fact it's quite old. It was my Grandmothers and I've had it for a long time, but it's no real use to me, and I thought it would be perfect for you. If you don't like it, then I can get you something else, it was just a thought, and Ginny said you would like it. Yes, I asked Ginny for advice, don't laugh! Anyway, open it! And have a good Christmas. _

_Love from Remus x_

I opened the boxed hesitantly, and gasped. Sitting in the box was a silver heart shaped locket; it had the pattern of silver swirls on the front, and was absolutely beautiful. I picked it up out of the box and un-clasped it, then I placed it gently around my neck and fastened it. It sat perfectly, and felt cool against my skin. I let my hand surround it, and closed my eyes, thinking of Remus. He truly was special, like mum said, and this had to be the best Christmas present ever.

I decided it was time to get dressed, and slipped on my most comfy clothes, and of course Molly's jumper, which fit perfectly. I morphed my hair long and slightly curled at the bottom so it hid my locket quite well. I knew mum would start asking questions if she saw it. My hair was of course bright pink to match my jumper.

I walked down the hallway, into the kitchen, where I could hear my parents making dinner.

"Merry Christmas!" I said joyfully, startling them both. Dad turned around and engulfed me in a huge hug, and then ruffled my hair, which I was not best pleased about.

"Merry Christmas Dora" he muttered, and then went back to the kitchen counter to help Mum with the dinner.

"Morning darling" my Mum said, and then walked towards me with a letter in her hand. "This came for you this morning" she said, putting it in my hand. As she turned to walk away, something caught her eye. She froze, and I knew what she had spotted. I cringed as she raised her hand towards the locket, it must have shown through my hair that had just been ruffled.

"What's that?" she asked, curiously. I tried to act innocent.

"A locket"

"Well, I can see that dear, but where did you get it?" she asked.

"It was a Christmas present" I said tugging the locket from her grasp and placing it firmly around my neck again.

"Did Matthew give it to you?" she asked. What was this? _Interrogate Tonks Day?_ I swear I thought it was Christmas. I went and sat at the small table, as Dad came and sat beside me.

"No mum, he didn't" I said putting the letter in front of me, she raised her eyebrows at me. "What?"

"That boys got it bad" she said, knowingly, before going back to her cooking.

"For Merlin's sake Mum, he didn't send me it. He got me a scarf. And why are you so interested?" I asked, annoyed by her probing. "And by the way, I loved the boots".

"And we loved your gifts too, but honey" she sighed, "if it's not Matthew, is it another guy? Cause if it is, then he's got it bad" she stated, I didn't say anything; I just looked down at my letter trying not to think of her words. But if her words were correct, and Remus... I couldn't hide my smile.

"Oh, so it is another guy then? Is it the one you told me about last night?"

"What's with the 20 questions" I asked, irritated.

"What guy?" perked up Dad? I cried in frustration and banged my head against the table, several times.

"Dora, don't do that" said mum, crossly. "I was just interested".

"Fine, fine!" I cried in annoyance. "His name is Remus Lupin, I do not love him. I met him a while ago. He's a good friend and he thought I would like this" I said, pointing to the locket in frustration. Both my parents had frozen, staring at me in disbelief.

"Remus Lupin..." my dad muttered under his breath, as if trying to figure out where that name was familiar.

"Yes Ted, Sirius's old friend". Mum said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I was slightly shocked, she had never uttered Sirius's name in the house before, and she refused to speak of him. She had loved Sirius, he was her favourite cousin, and I remembered how upset she was to learn that he was a 'traitor'.

"How do you know him?" I asked, curiously. Mum turned away from me and went over to the sink. I turned my head to dad, who looked conflicted but gave me an answer anyway.

"We've met him twice. Once when you were born, Sirius, James and Remus all came round to see you. And he also delivered a birthday card from Sirius on your fourth birthday, as Sirius was tied up someplace else" he explained.

"He never told me any of this" I said.

"Well, he was only a teenager at the time. I think things that happened afterwards may have driven every other memory out" he said, sadly. I knew what he was referring to. I turned towards my mum.

"Mum, I don't love him" I lied. _Wait, I lied? Did this mean I loved him? _Trying to reassure mum. She turned to me.

"I know dear. I wouldn't mind whatever you did, it's your life. I just get so worried you're never going to find anyone" he said, slightly snottily. I didn't quite believe her when she said she wouldn't mind, but I let it go for now.

"Mum" I said, walking over to her and giving her a hug. "I have plenty of time for all that". She just smiled at me, and didn't comment. I went and grabbed my letter before exiting to room, seeking the comfy armchair, by the fire in the living room. I sat down comfortably and tore open the envelope.

_Dear Tonks, some of the guys from work were going for a drink in the Muggle pub, white stallion at 7pm boxing day, and I was wondering if you wanted to go? Matthew xx_

Escape the constant questioning on my non-existent love life...

I quickly scribbled a reply saying I'd meet him there.

**So, what do you think? How do you think Tonks night at the pub will turn out? You may be surprised about what I'm going to throw in; then again, you might not. Anyway, please review; I have a fresh batch of cyber-cookies for you! Review XD xx**


	16. Going Barefoot

**Hello there! Thanks to all my fabulous reviewers, keep the reviews coming. I have to say, some of you add me to you favourites and stuff, but I'd be ever so grateful if you dropped me a tiny review, please? I bet no-one guessed who I'd throw into this story, but I hoping to make Tonks life easier, but I doubt that'll happen. Anyway, read on good people, read on...**

**_Edited: 13/04/11_**

Going barefoot

As it turned out, The White Stallion was a shabby old pub, with an old chipped roof that looked as if it would cave in at any moment. But compared to the houses surrounding it, it was the smartest building in the street. As I opened the old wooden door, the icy cold was left outside, as warm sweet air floated around me. The interior was much nicer than the exterior; the warm golden colours gave a great feel to the place. I smiled slightly as the door swung shut behind me, and Matthew turned around on his stool. His smile was wide.

"Tonks" he greeted, his handsome smile making me feel a little guilty. He got down from his stool, and made his way over to me. As he reached me he engulfed me in a friendly hug, before leading me towards the bar. "I'm glad you came, this lot are boring me" he whispered, looking at some of the Ministry lot in the corner. They all looked completely different dressed in Muggle clothing.

"I'm glad you invited me. Being a home was like torture" I replied, remembering my parents, and how they kept sending me questioning looks every two seconds.

"Why?" he asked, as we sat on the bar stools. They were slightly rickety and I balance precariously on mine, afraid of falling off and embarrassing myself.

"Oh, I was getting an interrogation from my parents. Mum especially. I tell you, they could give the Ministry a run for their money" I laughed, trying to turn it into a joke. He laughed along with me, but his eyes told me he understood.

"I bet. My parents are like that too, though, I guess it's just what they all do. Take 'curiosity' to far" he laughed again, I laughed lightly with him. "Anyway, do you want a drink before we go join the others?" he asked, pointing behind me again at a bunch of Ministry members. Looking closely at them I realised I'd never met some of them before, but I had seen them around.

"Sure" I said. "This is a Muggle pub so I guess I'll have a beer" I suggested, he laughed and ordered two beers. The barman served us our drinks and we went over to the other Ministry members. A girl I'd never seen before walked over to us, before we could fully reach the others. I looked around her to see if anyone I knew was standing near us. Proudfoot was standing with Dawlish and smiled at me as he saw me, then offered me a sympathetic look.

I was slightly confused by that. I was about to go see when the girl stood in front of us, blocking my way. I turned my attention back to the girl; she was no older than me, with a slim body and long legs. She also had pure blonde hair and blue eyes, any guys dream girl. Not that I couldn't look like that if I wanted, but I didn't want to.

"Hey Layla, this is Nymphadora Tonks, she's an Auror like me. Tonks, this is my friend from Hogwarts, Layla Simpkins. She works in the Department of Magical Transportation, Portkey Office" he introduced, she held out her hand and I shook it politely.

"It's nice to meet you" I said, as I heard someone in the corner call Matthew over.

"And you" she said, politely, though there was something cold in her expression, and she seemed to be fighting the urge to grind her teeth.

"Well, I'll leave you two to chat; I have to go speak to someone" Matt said, oblivious to my discomfort and Layla's icy body language. Matt left quickly, waving at someone in the corner. She watched him go. I sipped my beer awkwardly as she turned to glare at me. Within five minutes I'd had enough of her staring, and turned my hair red in anger. She looked slightly taken aback.

"What's your problem?" I growled. She brought herself up to full height, which was considerably taller than me, even though I was in my new pink boots, which had a comfortable and rather high heel.

"You're after Matt" she stated, coldly. "I know something's going on between the two of you, he's always talking about you". It took me several minutes to register what she had said, and then I snorted in my beer and started choking.

"Me and... me and Matt" I laughed, wiping beer off my face. "Eww… No. I mean he's a nice guy, but I don't like him like that, I mean..." I stopped and noted the relieved look on her face. She saw me looking and quickly tried to hide her relief, but it didn't fool me. I gasped, and her face fell as she started 'shhing' me. "Oh Merlin! You like Matt!" I squealed.

"Will you shhh, big mouth" she said, frantically, frowning deeply at me. The look on her face was hilarious. I took a big swig of beer, and leaned in a little closer to her so no-one would hear me.

"He's all yours. Take him, please. Go on" I said, happily. This was the perfect solution. Matt gets in with another girl, and I can go back to quietly obsessing over Remus. Perfect! Well, not perfect. Because quietly obsessing over someone can drive you crazy.

"I can't" she muttered, miserably. "He's my best friend".

"Being best friends is a good basis for a relationship. Besides, what's life without a little risk? There's no harm in telling him. He may like you back" I tried to persuade her, but she wasn't biting.

"No, like I said, he talks about you all the time. He likes you" she said, downing her wine, and sighing. "He'd never go for me" and with that she got up and went to the bar to get another drink. I followed her.

"Look, even if he did, it's probably just a little crush cause I can kick, or on rare occasion, save his butt. Anyway, I like someone else. I think. I'm not quite sure at the moment but..."

"So go tell him" she said, "If it's so easy, you go tell this guy that you like him".

"I can't do that" I muttered, sitting next to her on one of the stools. I downed my beer in the exact imitation of her and asked for another one. "He'd never go for me. I'm just a kid".

She nodded knowingly. "Age is a number. Assuming I'm guessing right and he's like quite a few years older than you?"

"Yes" I said, "thirteen in fact". I was talking to Layla as if she had been my friend of years. I'd seen her in Hogwarts, but never spoke to her. She actually seemed like a nice person. She smiled at me and patted my hand, before looking over at Matthew. I drank half my beer in one, thinking about what I'd said. _"He'd never go for me. I'm just a kid". _Did I really believe that? And more importantly, did he? Was thirteen years really that big of a deal if you really liked someone? Perhaps even loved?

"Oh no" muttered Layla, ducking her face behind her fringe. "Pretend you're talking to me".

"I am talking to you" I said, confusedly. She stared pointedly at me. "Ok, what's the matter?"

"Here she comes. It's Maria Edgecombe, from the Department of Magical Transportation, Floo Network Office. Oh, she absolutely hates me" she cringed, just as a voice behind us spoke sweetly.

"Hello there Simpkins" came Maria, we both swivelled on our bar stools towards her. I nearly fell from mine and Layla grabbed my arm to steady me. Maria Edgecombe looked like a classic Ministry suck up. She had dark red shoulder length hair, and glasses that covered her dark grey eyes. She had thin lips and when she smiled at us (which came across as a sneer), they seemed to disappear. She was wearing black trousers and a purple blouse.

"Edgecombe" Layla addressed, tonelessly.

"And who's this?" she asked, looking straight at me. She addressed me like a two year old. I took another gulp of beer before answering.

"I'm... er... Nymphadora Tonks" I stuttered. It was hard to talk under her unfriendly stare.

"Really? You don't seem sure" she said, giving a fake little laugh.

"Well, right now, I wish it wasn't" I muttered, Layla was glaring at Maria.

"Yes, well, Nymphadora is quite a posh name. It doesn't really fit you" she sneered, eyeing me with distaste. _Now hang on a minute, I was allowed to not like the name because I thought it was silly, but saying I'm not worthy of the name! Grrrrr!_

"Well, I think it suits her beautifully" snapped Layla. "Now run along, some of us actually have friends we enjoy the company of. You're not welcome over here". Maria Edgecombe look mildly horrified then walked off in a huff.

"Sorry about that" Layla apologised.

"It's not your fault. She's a bit up herself, isn't she?" I asked. She sighed and nodded.

"Yes she is. She's not even in the same office as me, yet she still seems to think she can boss me around. She's like the Ministry's little stooge" she muttered, in disgust. Then she looked over at Matthew in the corner.

"Come on girl, grab your drink. We're going over there" I said, picking up my beer and dragging her to the corner. Matthew and Proudfoot smiled at the sight of us and threw us relieved looks, as we seemed to have cut off Dawlish in some sort of rant.

After several hours of chat, and heavy alcohol consumption, I was ready to leave. I couldn't disapparate because I would splinch myself, that's what alcohol does to you, so Dawlish would be acting as a Muggle taxi service, taking the guests by side-long apparation when they wanted to leave, as he hadn't been drinking. _Oh Joy!_

But the night had been fun; I'd stayed talking to Proudfoot, who I found out a lot about. His first name is Jacob, he has a sister, a niece and a nephew, is in his late thirties (but wouldn't tell me specifics) and was single. While I talked with Proudfoot, I made Layla flirt with Matthew. I think it went well, and I promised I'd pop in and see Layla sometime at work. What do you know; she turned out alright after all.

_New Year's Eve_

I was walking through the hall of Grimmauld Place, at 10.30pm on New Year's Eve. Remus and Sirius had invited me to celebrate with them, though we'd have to be quiet because the kids and Molly would be upstairs, asleep. I laughed when I was told this; they were probably having their own secret party. I couldn't wait to see Remus, and wore his locket proudly around my neck. I also wore Molly's jumper, just in case she came down, and also because I'd become quite attached to it. I had my old jeans on with my new pink boots. My hair was in a bright pink bob today.

It was icy outside and I hoped it would snow for New Years, and according to the Muggle forecasters, the signs were promising. I heard two male voices coming from the kitchen, and my heart gave a great leap when I heard one of them in particular. I pushed open the door, and couldn't help smile at my two most favourite guys' in the world, right now.

"Hey Nymie" called Sirius, cheerfully, there was a Butterbeer in the place next to him, obviously indicating I should sit there.

"Hello Nymphadora" said Remus, quietly; I stuck my tongue out as I went to sit next to Sirius, opposite Remus. I took off my boots and chucked them under the table.

"Don't call me that" I said. Sirius laughed and Remus just smiled.

"So, Tonks. Ready to smooch when the clock strikes twelve?" asked Sirius, I froze in the position of opening my Butterbeer.

"What?" I asked, incredulously. "Why would I kiss you?"

"Not like that Cousin. Unlike the rest of my family, I do not practice incest. Anyway, it's tradition to kiss someone at midnight. Just a little peck Nymie? I don't fancy kissing Remus again, been there, done that, and I don't want to go back" said Sirius, knowingly, taking a swig of Butterbeer. Remus face showed a mixture of emotions, horror, annoyance, shock and above all, embarrassment.

I spluttered my Butterbeer. "What!" I cried, looking from Remus to Sirius. "Are you two gay, or something?"

Both Remus and Sirius choked on their Butterbeer's, looking horrified at the thought. I couldn't help but laugh. I was, despite myself, relieved.

"Then why have you two kissed?" I asked. I knew it obviously meant nothing and was probably a prank of some kind, but I still felt a squirming in my stomach at the thought of Remus...

"In Hogwarts, we were like majorly drunk, and I got dared by James to kiss Remus. And I never back down from a dare" he stated, simply.

"And I still hate you for that fact" muttered Remus.

"Ok, let's say for arguments sake I believe you" I said, and I did believe them, but I wanted to mess with them a bit. "But, if you two ever, you know, want some privacy; just make sure I'm warned in advance. So then I don't come round..."

"Oh shut up" Remus mumbled, putting his hands over his ears.

"Ahhh, Remus, don't worry about it, I'm only messing with you" I teased, pulling his hands away from his ears. He looked over at me for a minute then sighed.

"Well, James got dared to kiss Peter. That was just-" Sirius broke off into a shiver. I fell about laughing. Remus stuck his tongue out in disgust.

"How did we get into this conversation?" asked Remus, confusedly.

"I can't remember" I replied, before taking a swig of Butterbeer. Remus looked up at me, his eyes resting on my neck. I wrapped my hand around my locket and beamed at him. He smiled back.

"No, no mushiness, no!" cried Sirius, overdramatically, waving his arms in between us. I laughed and Remus punched him lightly on the arm. "Moving on, let's play a game while were waiting for the New Year to come around" he suggested.

"Ok. Let's say goodbye to this year's mistakes and hello to next year's mistakes" I said, happily.

"I'll drink to that" said Remus, raising his bottle, Sirius did the same. "Why don't we play, the 'I have never' game? You know, where you say you've never done something, and if someone has, they have to drink. But quietly cause the kids are upstairs".

"Good idea Moony" cried Sirius, joyfully; doing the exact thing Remus had just said not to do. "Ok, I'll go first" he said, then started thinking hard. I raised my eyebrows at Remus, who rolled his eyes back at me.

"Ok, I have never been in the Order of the Phoenix" he said, before drinking, me and Remus followed suit.

"Ok, my turn. I have never visited Nymphadora Tonks on her fourth birthday" I said, staring pointedly at Remus, who took a sip of his Butterbeer.

"How'd you find out? Did you remember?" he asked, curiously, while Sirius tutted.

"No, I have a crap memory. Mum and dad" I said, simply. "Your turn"

"I have never streaked naked through Hogwarts castle at midnight" he said, before he and Sirius both took a sip. I laughed heartily.

"I have never...enchanted the great hall ceiling to show something other than weather" Sirius said, they both drank, and I took a tiny sip.

"Really?" asked Sirius in awe.

"Oh yes, I was quite a troublemaker in my time" I said, smugly. They both looked impressed.

"Ok, I have never changed Umbridge's robes blue, and kept them that way for a week" I said, taking a big gulp. I just wanted a drink to myself. They both laughed.

"My turn..."

After several games, and some quite embarrassing secrets being spilt (I'm not revealing anything), it was fifth teen minutes to midnight. Sirius had fallen into a drunken sleep, and Remus and I were chatting happily about our experiences at Hogwarts. I looked out the kitchen window and saw white fluffy stuff.

"Oh my God! Remus, let's go outside" I suggested, a wide smile present on my face.

"What?" he asked. I grabbed his hand and pulled him round the table.

"Come on" I said, excitably. I dragged him don't the hallway towards the front door. He hung back to get a cloak but I ran straight outside and down the steps. There was a thin layer of snow on the ground and snow was drifting heavily down from the sky. Remus came out, and I scooped up some snow in my hands. I threw it at him as he made his way over. He laughed.

"You're going to regret that" he said, as Grimmauld Place disappeared behind him. He scooped up some snow, but I'd already lobbed another one at his head. It met its target. He gave up with the snow, and just ran after me.

I ran down the street squealing, the snow was wet under my feet, and it was only then that I fully noticed that I'd forgot to put my boots back on. I realised that I'd stopped running too late, Remus's arms were around me and had tackled me to the floor.

"Told you you'd regret it" he said, cheekily. His face was just above mine.

"Ok, I regret it" I cried. "Now can we get up because I'm freezing" He got off me and held out his hands, I grabbed them and hoisted myself up. I looked over his shoulder and realised we were much further away from number 12 than I'd thought. Though the snow was falling pretty heavily, it was hard to tell.

"Tonks?" whispered Remus's voice. I turned towards him.

"Mmm"

He put his hands round my waist and spun me in the air. I squealed in shocked and delight. He was amazingly strong. He put me down and I grabbed his hands, he looked at me puzzled. I laughed, and pulled him down the street a little, spinning around and twirling. We were giggling like teenagers, and I didn't even notice how wet we both were from the snow.

When we stopped spinning each other, and I started kicking snow with my bare feet. Then I shivered, suddenly realising how utterly freezing it was.

"Oh my god, I'm freezing" I said, wrapping my arms around me.

"I'm not surprised! You didn't think to wear something warmer? And shoes?" he laughed.

I quickly made an excuse. "Grrr mister. I had a bit to drink so I forgot".

"I had the same amount" He said, I glowered at him. "Ok, do you want me to carry you? And I can wrap you in my new cloak, your royal highness" he said, taking a mock bow, gesturing to the cloak I'd brought him for Christmas.

"That's better" I said. He came over and scooped me up into his arms, and wrapped the cloak around me as much as possible. I giggled nervously. "You liked my present?"

"I did indeed" he said, making his way back through the snow. "Did you like mine?" he asked, I lent my head on his shoulder.

"It's the most perfect present I've ever had" I whispered, truthfully. He smiled down at me, as number 12 Grimmauld Place came into view. We were about to go up the steps when there was a distant banging sound. Remus put me down hurriedly and turned towards the noise. I did too. In front of us were the distant but dazzling Muggle fireworks, illuminating London's dark, semi-clouded sky. The snow was slowing.

"It's beautiful" I whispered in awe.

"It is very beautiful" stated Remus, in agreement. I turned to face Remus.

"Happy New Year, Remus" I whispered. He turned looked down at me, his hand rose hesitantly and brushed a strand of hair away from my face. Then, this time without hesitation, he lent his head down and kissed me softly on the lips. It only lasted a second or two but my heart melted at the feeling of his lips pushing against mine. After a minute he pulled back, and smiled at me.

"Happy New Year, Tonks".

**Oooh, do I spy a little kiss somewhere? *covers ears from screaming girls (and possibly boys)*. So what did you think? Not what you expected I bet? Anyway please review, as they make me very happy. XD**


	17. Avoiding Me?

**Ok, so author note: I'm off on Holiday. Yep, so, brace yourselves; I am not going to be able to write for over two weeks. *gasp*. I leave this Saturday and return on the 10th October. So, this chapter is for you before I leave. Of course, I shall try update as soon as I get back from holiday, but I can't make any promises, as I need to start writing the next chappie, lol. Thanx to all my reviewers, I love you so much! Please keep them coming. So, enjoy chapter 17.**

**I don't own anything Harry Potter, I'm merely taking the characters out of there box and playing with them. I shall****,**** of course, put them back when I'm done (gift wrapped). Hahaha**

**_Edited: 15/04/11_**

_Some people say, putting an exclamation mark at the end of a sentence, is like laughing at your own joke. I believe, every once in a while, you have to laugh at your own joke! - ME! _

Avoiding me

"So he's avoiding you?"

"No, he is not avoiding me".

"He's avoiding you".

"No he's not, he's just busy".

"Okay, translating that from Tonks logic to normal logic. He. Is. Avoiding. You"

"Okay, okay, so maybe he's avoiding me. Sheesh" I said, heatedly, raising my hands in the air as a sign of surrender. "Will you stop going on about it?"

"Nope, I want to know why. You were so close what three, four days ago" said Ginny, pensively, as she brought her suitcase down on the next step with another bang. It was only five in the morning, but Ginny had dragged me out of bed for 'girl time' before she left. She had also insisted on bringing her belongs down now so she didn't have to do it later. Remus and I would be taking the kids back on the Knight bus.

"Hmmm, were we? I don't recall" I said, innocently, teasing her with a smirk. She stuck her tongue out.

"I know what happened Tonks" said Ginny, quietly, looking down at her feet, before her suitcase banged onto the next step.

"What do you mean?" I asked, curiously. Did Ginny really know why Remus had been avoiding her since New Year's Day?

"Well, Hermione suggested we watch the Muggle fireworks from our window, and it has a view of the street. The boys were in there room, consuming as much alcohol as they could, I bet they could have gave Sirius a run for his money. Anyway, it started snowing and I saw you run out into the street, and then you were running around and squealing, and Professor Lupin came out a joined you. I watched it, I'm really sorry. Hermione didn't watch though, she said it was rude. Anyway, I saw Professor Lupin carry you down the street, then he put you down and I don't know what you said but you said something that made him...err..." she trailed off uncomfortably. She looked ashamedly at the floor. We were in the ground floor hall by then and Ginny hastened to put her suitcase by the wall.

"Kiss me?" I offered lightly. My stomach flipped as I remembered how his lips had felt pressed against mine.

"Yes" she said, not looking at me. My hand automatically reached for my heart shaped locket, and closed into a fist around it.

"It wasn't a real kiss, Gin" I said, trying to reassure her, though it hurt me to say it. She seemed upset as if she had intruded on something private. In some ways she had, but I was glad. At least I could talk to someone about it. "It was just, you know, a New Year's kiss".

"Didn't look like that to me" Ginny muttered, "and anyway, if it was just a New Year's kiss, why has he been avoiding you?" she asked, moving down the hallway, towards the kitchen.

"I honestly don't know" I sighed, walking along beside her.

"Well, maybe after you've dropped us off, you could confront him?" she suggested. I thought about it for a moment, before nodding my head slightly in agreement. I had nothing to lose. Then I opened the kitchen door, and both Ginny and I entered the kitchen.

Luckily, Ginny had decided to drop the subject as I poured her a mug of hot chocolate. We sat talking about her boyfriend Michael; she was trying to come up with a way to dump him nicely. Like there is ever a way to dump someone nicely. So we changed tactics and thought of a way to turn the tables, make him dump her. It was crazy, I felt like a teenager again, but it was fun at the same time.

We had only been downstairs for an hour when we heard two male voices coming down the hallway, both raised and slightly heated as if they were arguing.

"Remus" I breathed.

"And Sirius" added Ginny, quietly. She pulled me from my chair, careful to keep our cups with us and went over to the door that led to the pantry. We both stood just inside the door, the door was open a fraction so we could hear what they were saying. I saw Remus and Sirius coming into the kitchen, my heart beat faster at the sight of him. It beat against my chest so hard, it felt like it was trying to escape my body, like it didn't belong to me anymore. My breath hitched at the thought.

"She's my cousin, of course I'm going to stick up for her" said Sirius, heatedly. I could see that they were sitting at the table.

"It's not about sticking up for anyone, I haven't done anything" replied Remus, his voice was shaky.

"Oh right. So you won't talk to her, you won't look at her. You can't be in the same room as her for more than five minutes and there's nothing wrong with that?" asked Sirius. Remus didn't respond. "I thought you said you-".

"I know what I said, thank you" snapped Remus. I could hear Ginny whispering '_oh god' _under her breath. "And anyway, after what I did, she probably hates me" he said, sadly. His voice sounded defeated.

"You just said you didn't do anything. Anyway, I bet whatever you did, that you think was so terrible, actually wasn't" came Sirius's voice. "Why won't you tell me Moony?"

"Cause you'll kill me" he answered, simply. Sirius said nothing; I could only assume that Sirius was giving him 'the glare'. It was a horrible tactic, and I couldn't lie under it, most teachers used it but Sirius was an expert at it.

"I kissed her" said Remus, quietly. It was so quiet it was hard to tell if he'd said it at all. Any doubt that he hadn't said it was erased, at the sound of Sirius's reply.

"You did _WHAT!" _he screeched, Ginny giggled from behind me. She may have found it amusing, but I didn't. I heard a slapping noise.

"Ow Sirius, that hurt. Look, I'm sorry Padfoot. It was just... it was snowing! And there were fireworks and she was in my arms, and... It just, you know...happened. It was just a New Year's kiss, and I apologise if it makes you feel weird because it's your cousin, but I'm not sorry I did it!" he finished, defiantly and breathlessly. My heart thumped harder, he hadn't regretted kissing me. "And put your wand away!" he said, wearily.

"You kissed Tonks?" asked Sirius again, in utter disbelief. Then he whooped so loudly that both Ginny and I jumped backwards and fell over. Ginny managed to steady herself, but I however, got my ankle caught in a floor board and toppled over. There was a huge crashed as a box fell down from the shelf. Cover blown. Not that I cared, my ankle was still stuck, and it was hard to stop myself crying out in pain. Ginny went to loosen my ankle, as the pantry door flung open. I stifled a scream as Ginny tugged. My hands balled up in fists.

"Ginny, don't tug. Let me lie here" I begged, rasping for breath and coughing as I inhaled the dust from the floor.

"We've got to get it out" Remus's voice echoed in the dark room. "Just grit your teeth, Ginny hold her hand. Sirius, go and get some cloth to mop up the blood".

"Blood" I said, faintly. Suddenly there was a sharp tug, my foot scraped against something sharp and then it was free. I turned onto my front, determined to breathe air rather than dust. Remus was wrapping cloth around my ankle as Ginny and Sirius stared down at me.

"I hate being clumsy" I mumbled. Sirius grinned and Ginny laughed, I looked at Remus who was staring at my foot. I felt a sudden surge of anger.

"Come on Sirius, let's go wake my pesky brothers" said Ginny, hurriedly, pushing Sirius out the door. Remus and I were left alone, his hand was gently stroking my injured ankle, and he didn't seem to notice he was doing it. I pulled away from him, and sat up, my arms folded across my chest. He sat in front of me, obviously realising he'd seriously upset me.

"Tonks I-" he said, but I cut him off.

"Save it" I snapped. "You, your, it...urgh!" I cried in frustration. Nothing came out right; I didn't know how to say what I wanted to.

"I understand completely if you don't want to be friends" he said, quickly. I reached out and slapped his leg hard. He flinched slightly and made eye contact with me for the first time. "Ow".

"You were avoiding me" I said. He looks guiltily at me. "Remus, it was just a New Year's Kiss. No need to feel guilty" I said, wishing I could tell him that it wasn't just a New Year's kiss to me. He didn't answer, I stood up and sighed. He stood too. I hobbled around him, and exited the pantry.

I didn't look back, though I could feel his eyes watching me. As I walked away, I suddenly realised how much I needed him. And I guess that was the moment that I realised I truly loved him. Tears pricked in my eyes as I went upstairs to change.

When I came down, no longer limping, Remus was sitting with a plate full of toast in front of him, I was mad at him but couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. I wanted to slap my forehead in annoyance with myself. I stood in front of the table as he offered me some toast.

"Peace offering?" he said, quietly. Molly and Arthur were at the counter, talking hurriedly in whispers. Sirius was sitting in his usual spot at the head of the table; I went and sat down next to Remus, in between them both. I took a bit of toast and bit into it.

"Tonks, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have avoided you, it was stupid. I tend to do that a lot, huh?" he whispered.

"Yeah, but I'll forgive you" I said, quietly. After all, he had told Sirius that he didn't regret it.

"Yay! Happy Tonks and Moony" said Sirius, in an obvious attempt to be cheerful. I laughed, and took another bite of toast. Molly turned to us, and spoke directly to Sirius.

"Sirius, you're not going to try and turn Harry on Snape are you?" she asked, seriously.

"Of course I'm not Molly. Snivellus can do that all by himself" replied Sirius, carelessly. Molly looked worried.

"Don't worry Molly; Sirius knows it's what's best for Harry. He won't say anything, will you Sirius?" asked Remus, sternly. Sirius shrugged.

"What I don't get" I said, "is why Dumbledore can't teach him. I mean, I thought even he was better than Snape".

"No, Snape's more practiced in the arts of Occlumency. Slimy, greasy git!" muttered Sirius.

"He'll best to help Harry, and we all want to help Harry, right?" Arthur asked. There was a creaking noise from upstairs; obviously the kids were coming down.

"Of course it is" I said, Molly smiled brightly at me. Remus tried to nick a piece of toast off the plate he'd given me. I slapped his hand away, and he pouted. _Damn, gorgeous eyes, too weak to resist, god he's so gorgeous! _I sighed and shoved a piece of toast into his mouth. He choked in surprise.

"Nice one Tonks" said Sirius, appreciatively.

"You two better behave yourselves, when you take our kids back" said Molly, sternly. I could tell she was teasing.

"Yes Molly" Remus said, saluting her. "But I don't think it's us you have to worry about. Sirius, according to the prophet, is being the naughty one".

"Meh...it's always my fault!" mumbled Sirius, his mood becoming more grumpy. I grabbed the last bit of toast as Remus reached for it. I put it between my teeth and turned to show him. He tried to tug it out, but he stopped when Sirius coughed something that sounded suspiciously like 'lovebirds'. I ate my toast quietly as Arthur turned to talk to Molly. Remus and Sirius started talking about Snape again, until I elbowed them both to stop. Hermione, Ron and Harry had just walked in.

After the kids had eaten a hurried breakfast, we went out into the hall where I pulled on my jacket and gloves, and the kids wrapped scarves around their necks. It was cold and grey outside, and I stood by the door while Molly and Sirius said their goodbyes to the children. Remus was leaning against a wall in the middle of the children, and smirked at me as I morphed into a tall, tweedy looking woman, with grey iron curls to complete the look. Soon the kids were being shunted outside by me and Remus.

"Come on, the quicker we get on the bus the better" I said, nervously glancing around the square. Remus stuck his arm out. BANG. The knight bus rolled up right in front of us.

"Welcome to the-"

"Yes, yes, we know thank you" I said, swiftly. "On, on, get on-" I said hurriedly, lightly pushing the children onto the bus. I shoved Harry past the conductor, who goggled at him.

"Ere - it's 'Arry -!"

"If you shout his name again, I'll curse you into oblivion" I muttered, menacingly, shunting Ginny and Hermione forwards. I looked around for seats, but there weren't enough on one floor for all of us.

"Looks like we'll have to split up" I said, briskly. "Fred, George and Ginny, if you take those seats at the back...Remus can stay with you". He smiled warmly at me. Then I proceeded to the top deck with Hermione, Harry and Ron. Ron and Harry took the seats at the back, while Hermione and I went to the front. Another BANG and we were off. Hermione looked slightly sick, as Ron's owl came and perched on her shoulder.

"I don't like this thing" groaned Hermione after a while. She put her head in her hands. There was another BANG, and the chairs slid back and forward again.

"Me either" I said, as Stan came towards us. I handed him more money than was owed, he was about to take it when I drew it back slightly. "Only if you bump us up the queue" I added, looking at a sickly looking Hermione. Stan shrugged but nodded, looking wearily at me. I handed him the money, and he walked back down the aisle towards Harry.

"Don't worry Hermione" I said, just as the Knight bus grounded to a halt. There was a splattering noise from downstairs. Hermione was turning green. "Come on, Hermione, deep breaths" I said, patting her on the back. The only reason I could stand the swaying of the bus was because I'd been on it many times before. The bus moved again and then made a loud BANG, and we were rolling down the snowy streets of Hogsmead.

I helped Hermione off the bus, carrying her luggage while the boys followed behind me. We got out into the fresh air, and Hermione started perking up a little. Ginny went over to see how Hermione was, not looking so great herself.

"You'll be safe once you're in the grounds" I said, looking around the deserted street. "Have a good term, OK?" Remus said goodbye to everyone then pulled Harry over to him. I went and hurriedly exchanged good-byes with the rest of them. Ginny tapped my locket and winked, I nudged her slightly as Hermione rolled her eyes.

They made their way up to castle as me and Remus jumped back on the knight bus, taking the seats that he had been sitting in prior. The Knight Bus started moving again, this time making me feel a bit queasy. I decided to keep my mind off it by talking to Remus.

"What were you saying to Harry" I asked, curiously. He looked around at me.

"Just telling him to work hard at the Occlumens" he said, simply.

"Oh, ok" I mumbled as Stan came up to us.

"Where you want to go then?" said Stan, cheerfully. Several people were looking at us, probably because we'd been with Harry.

"Ministry of Magic" I said, curtly. There was a sharp intake of breath from someone near the front. "Oh, suck it up" I mumbled.

"Hyde Park" said Remus beside me, Stan nodded and turned away to tell the driver.

"Hyde Park?" I repeated, questioningly.

"Yes, Hyde Park. I want to stretch my legs before I have to go back to Grimmauld Place. Ministry of Magic?" he then asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Well, I do work there" I answered, as the brakes screeched and we grinded to a halt.

"I know, but" he said, before leaning in closer to me and whispering into my ear, "you could just take the morning off, and spend it with me". I shivered as his warm breath tickled my neck. He lent back again as if he hadn't done anything remotely intimate. The idea of spending my morning with Remus was, exciting. Just me and him, together. Remus and Tonks...had a good ring to it.

"Dora?" he asked, and I snapped back to reality. He was watching me curiously, the visions melted away. I realised I couldn't, I'd had too much time off already. I had work to catch up on.

"I'm so sorry, Remus" I said, and I was. "But, I have a lot of work to catch up on, and Matt needs to brief me on our next assignment".

"Matt?" he practically growled. "Who's he?"

"He's a junior Auror like me. He's nice. I think you met him once, but only briefly" I said, simply.

"Oh" he said, shrugging. "Hope he's worth it" Remus muttered so quietly, that I wasn't even sure he'd said it. The Knight bus ground to a sudden halt, and I almost fell off my chair.

"Ministry of Magic" said Stan. I stood up, and then bent down and whispered "I really am sorry" in his ear. I then got off of the bus, and with a loud BANG, it was gone. I turned around to the Ministries entrance, instantly regretting not going with Remus.

As it turned out, Matthew was off ill for the day. I sat in my cubicle, bored out of my skull and sulking. I could have been with Remus by now, walking through Hyde Park, talking, laughing and genuinely enjoying his company. My heart ached as I remembered how disappointed he was when I said that I couldn't come, and I was having a debate with myself over whether to go and find him, or whether to stay at the Ministry, bored out of my skull and thinking about finding him.

Just then a purple memo landed on my desk, with grace and unfolded itself. I looked curiously at it before picking it up. It was from The Department of Magical Transportation, Portkey office.

_Dear Tonks, I hope you had a good New Year, and that this memo finds you well. If you pop by to my office, I have some gossip that might interest you. I'll be waiting for your hasty (and most likely clumsy) arrival. Layla_

I chuckled slightly as I read the letter, and then left my cubicle to find Layla. It wasn't like I had anything else to do. I knocked lightly on her office door. She actually had a proper office, not a cubicle. I had to admit I was slightly jealous.

"Come in" called a voice from the other side of the door. I grabbed the handle and pushed open the door. Layla's office was very neat. Neat piles of paperwork, neat shelves, neat everything. It was the complete opposite to my little cubicle.

"Hey Tonks, come sit down" she said, turning towards me and slinging a folder down randomly, it landed on the desk with a dull thud. I shut the door behind me and plopped myself into a chair. She looked at me for a second and then said, "Who's the guys, and what's he done?"

I looked at her, perplexed. "I don't know what you're talking about". She snorted.

"Come on Tonks, don't take me for a fool" she said, "I know that face. I've worn that face so many times" she sighed.

"It's nothing Layla, really" I implored. "So what's the gossip?" I asked eager to change the subject.

"It's not much gossip really, you'll find out soon enough, but" she said, and smug smile plastered on her face. "If you want me to tell you, you have to tell me who the guy is, and what he's done. Is it the guy you mentioned at Christmas?"

"You never give up do you?" I sighed, slouching a little in my seat.

"Absolutely not" she said, brightly.

"It's about the guy I mentioned at Christmas" I mumbled, grudgingly.

"Oh, ok then. Are you going to ever tell me his name?" she questioned. I sighed, there was no use trying to avoid the subject now.

"Remus" I muttered, she made an 'hmm' sound, but then smiled brightly at me. Her teeth were so bright, they almost blinded me.

"So come on, what happened?" she asked. I suddenly found myself telling her everything, well not everything. I told her that we'd kissed and how afterwards he'd avoided me, and how he'd asked me to join him in London and I'd said no cause I needed to see Matt. And how, upset, he'd looked when I left him.

"Well, it seems to me that, if you'd said you blew him off to see me, it would have been ok. But you blew him off for another bloke?" she said, "I'd say that he was jealous, and you say you told him that the kiss meant nothing? Maybe you hurt him a bit by that" she finished, pondering something.

"You really think I've upset him, like, badly? _Oh dear_" I muttered, anxiously.

"Look, don't even worry about it Tonks. He's a guy. Guys are like that" she explained, knowingly. I found myself nodding in agreement. "And I know how you can make it up to him".

"How?"

"Well, the Ministry is holding one of those, charity dinner things. Ministry staff, guests with lots of cash, power and influence. I'm not meant to tell anyone yet, as it's happening at the end of this month. Boring really, it depends on whether you get an invitation or not, but... You could ask him here as your date!"

"NOOO! No, No, No! I'm not going to this dinner thing, never, never, never!" I screeched; the idea of this dinner terrified me. I didn't want to go, although admittedly, if Remus was there, I might enjoy it. But I didn't want to go, I would not be going!

"Ok, calm down woman. God, I think you burst my eardrum" she said, patting the side of her head as if testing it. "Anyway, please, please come. If you want, I'll ask Matthew as my date. And I'd really like to see you there, and meet this Remus that you're so obsessed with".

"I'm not obsessed about him" I mumbled. She scoffed.

"Sure, it's either that or you're in love with him" she said, shrugging. I slumped in my chair slightly. She gasped. "Oh My God! You're in love him!"

"No, I'm not" I said, my voice wobbled uneasily.

"Ok, so when you kissed him, did your heart pound?" she asked.

"Yes" I answered grudgingly, I had no idea how this simple, coming to see her, had turned into an interrogation of my love life.

"Knees go weak?"

"Yes".

"Wanted more?"

"I- err- god, yes" I admitted, I really regretted answering.

"Think about him all the time? Wonder how he is, what he's doing? Like everything about him? When you see him, you blush, and you act really stupid, though you really want to try and play it cool?" she asked, I couldn't even bring myself to speak, so merely settled with a nod.

"Then mate, I may not have known you for long, but it's official! And, when you bring him to the dinner, I can see it for myself, and I will probably pick up things that you can't" she said, smugly.

"You probably could, but I'm not going" I said, defiantly.

"Mm, Hmmm".

"I'm not!"

**So, do we think Tonks will go? And will she take Remus, if she does. I loved the toast bit, because I thought it was funny, but what did you think? Next chapter the prisoners will escape, making Tonks's life hell. Hehehe. Like it's not enough already. (Remember: me + reviews = happy Gurugirl) XD**


	18. Evening Interrupted

**Hey y'all, how ya been keeping? So, I'm back! Holiday was ok, but I'm happy to be back. Missed all my mates, and you guys! Did you miss me? Thanks for reviewing on the last chapter guys, I love you all, keep them coming! This is dedicated to my best mate Amy, for listening to all my ideas for this story, while we're walking to school and never complaining.** **I wrote loads on holiday for you so... Roll on chapter 18...**

**I'm not J.k. therefore; I don't own the Characters or settings you find in the books.**

**_Edited: 25/04/11_**

Evening Interrupted

_I was running through a forest, it was dark and cold. The wind whipped my hair around my face, making it hard to see the branches. A small glowing light came out of nowhere, and I immediately followed it, without question, because for some reason, I trusted it. I began walking along a muddy trail, when a high pitch cackle sounded from behind me. I instantly whipped round, reaching into my pocket for my wand, but I found it wasn't there._

_"Such a naive little girl...trusting the forest to shield you...stupid mistake..." the voice hissed. The voice was behind me again, but closer this time. I turned hesitantly towards the voice..._

BANG BANG BANG.

I woke with a start, to the sound of someone pounding on my door. I looked over at my clock, it was half past eight. I was on guard duty at midnight so I had decided to get an early night, so I wouldn't be tired on duty. Obviously, the person at my door had decided against this.

BANG BANG BANG went the door again. I groaned and got out of bed, making my way sleepily over to the door. I suppose I should be grateful the visitor had woke me up from the nightmare, that I'd been having for the last few nights, but still, it would have been nice to know who the voice belonged to. It seemed I would never find out, because every time I turned around, I woke up.

BANG BANG. I made my way down the hall in a huff. "Alright, I'm coming!" I called, irritably.

"Hurry up Tonks" came the deep voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt, "something terrible has happened". My heart began thumping hard, I ran the last few steps and unlocked the door before flinging it open to see a very stressed looking Kingsley Shacklebolt. He came into my flat, and I quickly shut the door behind him.

"What's going on?" I asked. He looked at my pj's.

"Slip some clothes on over those, and quickly. We need to get to the Ministry" he said, hastily. I didn't even question him, as I ran back towards my bedroom and found a pair of jeans and a long sleeve blue jumper. I quickly slipped them on and went back into the sitting room. I sat on the floor by the door and starting pulling on my white trainers, deciding this was the time for questions.

"Kingsley, why are we going to the Ministry? What's happened?" I said, doing up the lace on my right foot.

"I'd prefer to tell you when we get there" he said. I pulled on my other trainer.

"And I'd prefer you tell me now" I said, hastily tying my left shoe and getting confused.

He sighed. "Half an hour ago, the Dementors of Azkaban abandoned their positions as guards, and went to join You-Know-Who. And, coincidently, ten high security prisoners escaped. They were all known Deatheaters" he concluded. I stood up.

"Dumbledore warned Fudge this would happen, and I bet I can guess who the Minister's going to pin the blame on" I scoffed; the injustice of it all was sickening.

"Of course he's blaming it on Sirius, it was the only choice, because he can't exactly stand up and say 'I was wrong and Dumbledore was right'. It would just make him look like a fool, considering everything he's done over the last few months. Plus his pride gets in the way. And anyway, Sirius's cousin was one of the escaped Deatheaters".

"Sirius has probably many relatives in Azkaban, which means I do too, considering I'm related by half to most purebloods. Which cousin?" I asked.

"Bellatrix Lestrange" he said, opening my flat door. I stopped, frozen. Mum's sister out of Azkaban? The bitch that had done all those terrible things like torturing the Longbottom's, the most famous Aurors the Ministry ever had? I guess I should have seen it coming, but it came as a complete shock. "Shall we get going?" he asked. I nodded and exited the flat. He followed close behind.

The Ministry was in a state of panic when we walked in. Lots of people were running around, trying to sort out their departments and the chaos that the night's events had caused. All the Aurors were called in, and everyone was gathered on our floor, waiting to be addressed by the Minister. I sat in my cubicle with Kingsley and Arthur, who'd come in five minutes after we did. While everyone gossiped around us, me, Kingsley and Arthur sat in deadly silence.

People would have believed, from the look of my face, that I was upset. But I wasn't. I felt nothing. Yes, my deranged Aunt was out of Azkaban. Yes, my cousin was going to be blamed. Yes, the Minister was a moron, but I didn't care. Because for some reason, though it felt like nothing, it also felt like losing.

"Do you think Dumbledore knows?" Arthur whispered to Kingsley, behind me. They were both leaning against the back of my cubicle, just beside my notice board.

"I'm not sure, maybe. It just depends if anyone's told him, I guess" Kingsley replied. "But, Dumbledore tends to know a lot, and so my guess would be that he knows". They both fell silent again. I looked up at the clock on my wall. It had just gone nine o'clock.

Just then the Minster stepped out into the corridor and everyone stood up, and went silent. I moved into the door of my cubicle, Kingsley beside me and Arthur just behind him.

"I would like all Aurors into the old conference room, in five minutes. No exceptions. Tell your loved ones that you will not be home tonight" he said, gravely, before leaving in the direction of the old conference room which was barely ever used. People soon started to follow the Minister towards the conference room.

"Well, there goes my early night. Arthur, can you get someone to cover my guard duty tonight?" I asked Arthur. I wasn't expecting him to do it, but it was just the Aurors who had to go to the meeting in about four minutes now, so he was the only one who could get someone.

"I'll do it" he said, "you two get going, and I'll see you when you're finished".

"But Arthur, are you sure?" I asked. He smiled kindly to me and walked out of my cubicle. I took that as a yes.

"Come on, Tonks, we better get going" said Kingsley, giving me a small push in the direction of the conference room.

We opened the small wooden door to reveal and old crumbling room, with a large table in the middle. Everyone was sitting in a seat, and we went to find ours. I sat next to Kingsley, nervously looking around at everyone in the room. The Minister stepped forward out of one of the corner, and every eye was on him.

"Fellow wizards and witches, tonight's events have been, truly shocking to you all. As you know, over two years ago, Azkaban saw its first ever breakout. Just over an hour ago, ten more prisoners escaped Azkaban. Never would we have suspected a breakout of this magnitude, though we strongly suspect that this breakout was engineered by a man with personal experience of breaking out of Azkaban, Sirius Black. We believe he is trying to rally his old allies, along with his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange" he paused in his speech, before continuing. "I ask a very dangerous job of you Aurors, but that's your job and I know you will succeed. We need to catch these criminals and send them straight back to where they belong. Therefore, I want you working around the clock, to bring forward results and reassure the wizarding world".

Everyone was silent, I looked at Kingsley, and then around the room. I saw Matthew looking straight at Fudge, and even though I couldn't see his face, I knew there would be a look of admiration on his face. That was thing about having friends who favoured the Ministry; you couldn't trust them a hundred per cent. A woman across from me raised her hand.

"Minister, will the Muggles be informed?" she asked, everyone turned from looking at her and back to the Minister. Someone at his side whispered something to him. I looked closer and realised Percy was standing with him. I hadn't notice him before.

"The Muggle Prime Minister will be informed, but I have every faith in you all, that you will capture these criminals, so there will be no need to panic the Muggle community". I looked at Kingsley, his face was impassive, but I could tell he couldn't believe it. Not warning the Muggles that there are really dangerous people about, maybe walking down the street, blowing their brains out, and they weren't being warned? Maybe not blowing their brains out in public, but still, they had a right to be warned.

"Will the wizarding community be told?" asked a man, at the front.

"Yes, the Daily Prophet will be putting out the warning in tomorrow mornings edition".

After that we were dismissed, to start our investigations and go out searching for any trace of the escaped Deatheaters. I went out with Kingsley and Proudfoot, searching the banks around the sea, in which Azkaban was situated. It was pretty pointless, but we had to start somewhere. Prowling around unknown forests in the middle of a bitter cold night, looking for murderers wasn't my idea of fun, but at least I was doing something. And I really wanted to be the one to chuck my dear old auntie back in Azkaban.

It was hard to believe how my 'early night' had turned out. But I had a feeling here was worse to come.

"Come on Kingsley, give me a piggyback, please" I begged Kingsley, as we walked through the front door of Grimmauld Place. I'd been working pretty much from six in the morning to around midnight for the past three days, searching for these criminals, without much sleep. Now my back ached, my feet were sore and I was extremely tired. I felt like an old woman.

"No, Tonks" he said, firmly.

"Please!" I begged, poking him in the ribs with every please.

"It's pointless, it's just down the hall" he said, grabbing my hand so I could no longer poke him.

"But I won't make it" I cried, dramatically, putting my hand to my forehead and pretending to faint. Well, kind of, I didn't make myself fall over.

"Fine! Fine! But only down the hall, then I'm dropping you in the kitchen" he said, he must have been as tired as I was, but he never let on. "Hop up". I gave a quick _'yay' _and jumped on his back. I rested my head on his shoulder blade, trying to sleep, but Kingsley was uncomfortable, so I settled for watching the hall pass me and opening the door with my foot.

Once we were in the kitchen, I jumped clumsily down and walked over to the seat beside Hestia. Kingsley sat on the other side of me. I looked down the table towards Remus and Sirius, who were both sitting there, eyebrows raised, smirking at me. I put my head on my arms, and rested them on the table. Dumbledore wasn't here yet, and everyone was chatting animatedly around me. I huffed and closed my eyes.

Just then, a jet of water hit me in the face, knocking me backwards. I sat up straight, and wiped the water off of my face. I guess I wasn't surprised. Nowadays, I refused to drink coffee like all the other Aurors did, to keep them awake, so Kingsley had taken the liberty of casting the argumenti charm on me whenever I looked sleepy.

"Ok, I'm up" I said, lifting my head up. Then my head started dropping again. It fell back onto my arm. "Ok, I'm down".

Kingsley didn't have chance to reply as Dumbledore walked through the door, followed by Snape (the greasy haired git) and Minerva.

"Good evening" Dumbledore said. "As you all know, the Dementors have joined Voldemort, along with his, once imprisoned, Deatheaters. Now, Fudge will not, of course, raise his hands and admit he was wrong, therefore he has pinned the blame on here". He looked a Sirius, whose face turned sour.

"Kingsley, I would like you to report to us, what has been happening within the Ministry" he addressed Kingsley. I propped myself up on my elbows to listen.

"The Minister has been pushing everyone to their limits. He has all the Aurors working to exhaustion. Miss Tonks, here being a fine example" he gestured to me, and my eyelids that were trying to close, but I was fighting them to keep them open. "We have been out on the streets questioning people, searching every area of land, but there is no trace. Not that we expect there to be any trace. But, inside the Ministry, a lot of people are beginning to doubt Fudge, though they won't speak about it in case they are seen as traitors".

"And I believe, if my sources are correct, that the Ministry is organising some sort of charity event?" he asked, curiously. I could see the twinkle in his eyes, as if he was amused.

"The Ministry is having a charity dinner, inviting important people from the wizarding world to attend. I think it is to give some positive attention to the Ministry. I myself have been invited, along with Bill Weasley, as a representative of Gringotts, I believe" he inclined his head towards Bill, who nodded back. "And Miss Tonks has been invited, by personal invitation of Fudge himself". I cringed at that. Getting a letter from Fudge to attend the dinner was seen as a privilege to some, but torture to me.

"Really?" asked Dumbledore, astonishment written on his face. Kingsley nodded, smirking at me. We'd already had this conversation, and I'd told him I wasn't going.

"Yes, but it doesn't matter, cause I'm not going" I said, stubbornly.

"Tonks, you need to go. And you have to bring someone with you" said Kingsley, smugly. Was this payback for the piggy back ride? Was he going to embarrass me in front of the whole Order?

"Don't want to go, don't want to take anyone" I said, huffily, yawning and folding my arms across my chest.

"You have to go, and if you don't pick someone, I'll make you go with Dawlish" Kingsley growled. Yes, growled. That scared me, and I didn't know how to reply to that. Luckily I was saved the job of replying, as someone else spoke. When she started talking, I automatically wished I'd responded and picked someone.

"How did she get a personal invitation? Why's Fudge so interested in her?" asked Emmeline, in a snarl. Ah, Emmeline, how I hate thee!

"Because I'm an Auror, and I've changed my mind. I'll go" I snarled back. Her lips curled into a smirk that only served to make me angrier. But who would I go with? I didn't even know why it was required to bring someone, but it was and I had to pick someone. Maybe it was for people to show off? I really wanted to ask Remus, not because Layla wanted to meet him, but because I wanted him at my side. I wanted him. And, it would probably rattle Emmeline's cage, which was a definite bonus.

Snape was talking now, about the escaped prisoners and how they were with Voldemort, and we had no hope in finding them. I was staring absentmindedly at Remus, and then all of a sudden the meeting was over. Not many moved, just the teachers, Hestia and Dedulus.

I stood up and walked over to Sirius and Remus. Bill walked over at the same time. I sat beside Sirius as he sat beside Remus. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Interesting meeting, eh?" asked Sirius, dryly.

"Yeah" agreed Bill. "Who are you going to take then, Tonks?"

"Not sure, who are you taking?" I asked back, not wanting to tell him that I wanted to take Remus.

"Fleur" he said, simply, though I saw a smile tug at his lips.

"Is she your bird, then?" Sirius asked, rather rudely. Remus gave him a reprimanding glare and turned to Bill himself.

"Sirius, that's rude" Remus said. "Sorry Bill, he's a nosy git".

"Not to worry Remus, and yes she is. But, mum doesn't exactly know that, so keep it quiet" he whispered, imploringly.

"Of course we won't Bill, and I met Fleur. She seems nice" I said, earnestly. I looked over at Molly who was starting to cook supper.

"Thank you, Tonks. You know, this asking people to go with you thing, reminds me of asking people to Hogsmead, in Hogwarts" Bill sniggered. I put my head on the table, and groaned at the impact. I'd used to much force.

"I'm bored, tired and hungry. And I never asked anyone to Hogsmead" I mumbled. They all looked at me with raised eyebrows. What was it with men and raising their eyebrows? "They always asked me" I smirked. All three of them laughed lightly.

I looked at Sirius who was questioning Bill about Fleur, and then to Remus. He was watching me, but as soon as he saw me looking, he put his head down. Now was the time to do it, I might as well. I had nothing to lose.

"Remus" I started. All three men looked up at me. "Will you go to this dinner thing with me?" I asked, hesitantly. He blinked rapidly, and I could feel my cheeks heating up.

"Sure" he whispered, smiling happily at me. I breathed a sigh of relief. That wasn't so bad. Sirius was smirking at me, and Bill just looked pleasantly surprised.

Bill began talking about finding me and Remus at the dinner, so he and Fleur wouldn't get bored by Ministry ponces. Molly's stew was perfect. And every so often, Remus's knee would tap mine. The only thing I was worried about was Layla, and her big mouth.

The rest of my evening had been dull, incredibly dull, which was unusual, because normally when I hang out at Grimmauld Place with the guys, it's a lot of fun. But all anyone wanted to do was talk about the breakout, and after three days of constant searching, I was tired of the subject.

So, to escape the boredom, I retired to the room I sometimes occupied when I stayed at Grimmauld Place. I lay on my bed, looking up at the ceiling, which I had magically enchanted to show the night's sky again. A shooting star flew over the ceiling as my door creaked open.

"Hello Tonks" whispered Remus. I didn't even turn to the door.

"Hey".

"Can I come in for a minute?" he asked.

"Sure". He came over to me and sat hesitantly on the edge of my bed. I sat up and looked at him, his face had gained more scars, but he was still beautiful. His eyes looked into mine, and I felt all the air in the room being sucked away.

"Nymphadora, I was wondering whether you wanted to ask someone else to go to this Ministry dinner?" he asked, in one breath. I felt my shoulders slump in disappointment. Did he really not want to go with me?

"I want to go with you. Why are you asking this, do you not want to go with me? Cause if you don't that's fine, I'd rather you tell me" I replied. He smiled at me.

"Of course I want to go with you, I just thought that maybe, you'd want to go with someone else" he said, hesitantly.

"Well, I don't. I want to go with you" I said, firmly.

"Ok, then. Well, I guess I should get some dress robes then" he said, chuckling slightly.

"Yeah, but I prefer you as you are" I said, before I could stop myself. He pulled at his jumper.

"What, in these shabby old things?" he questioned. I automatically leaned towards him.

"Oh yes, they're dead sexy" I whispered, smirking. He laughed loudly. I flopped back onto my back and looked up at my ceiling. The stars were particularly bright tonight. I could feel his eyes on me. "Look at the stars with me" I whispered, patting the spot beside me. I was surprised when he laid down next to me, and looked at the night's sky above. His left arm was pressed against my right arm. The contact made my body tingle pleasantly.

"It's beautiful, Dora" he whispered.

"I'm officially changing my name" I muttered, he laughed again.

"You have a lovely name, Dora. It suits you. Unique" he smiled, turning his head towards me. I turned to face him, his eyes holding me.

"Sure" I breathed out, sarcastically. He turned back to the stars above us.

"You were quiet tonight" he whispered.

"I've been awake for the last three days, with about eight hours sleep in total, and then these freakin' nightmares don't help me get any sleep, that I desperately need, either. And everyone was talking about the prisoners escape, and it's all I ever hear about nowadays..."

"We should have known. I'm sorry" he apologised. Then he deliberated something, before asking, "What nightmares?"

"Oh, I've just been having a nightmare for the last week or so. It happens sometimes, it's usually just brought on by stress".

"Those Ministry gits are working you to hard" he muttered, "you need some sleep".

"Yeah, I have to be gone by six tomorrow morning" I said, yawning slightly.

"Well, then, go to sleep" he commanded, playfully, but he didn't move. I turned my body towards him and closed my eyes, waiting for his reaction. Surely he would move away soon, but he didn't seem to be moving his body. In fact, the only part of him that he moved was his hand, which entwined itself with mine.

"Night Remus" I whispered, I could feel myself relaxing into the darkness that was sleep.

"Night" he whispered back.

That night I spent wrapped in his arms, and though I would probably never admit it, I had the best night's sleep since I'd gone to him, when the spider was in my bed. I wasn't plagued by nightmares of the mysterious voice, and in my dreams, I wasn't looking over my shoulder.

**What do you think? Please review, please please please. Anyone who reviews gets a piggy back ride off of an Order member of their choice. I think I'd choose to get one off of Sirius, cuz I reckon it'll be fun...and I like Sirius! LOl XD, you? Also, anyone heard the song ****She Wolf**** by Shakira. Check it out; it's cool, though it takes some getting used to. Review please, love ya x**


	19. Butterflies and Judgemental Eyes

**Ok, thanx to all my fabby reviewers. I love getting your reviews. Special mention to FlyingToastersUnite such a cool name! Whose been extra cool! Maths day today. First lesson I was allowed to listen to ipod. Second: slept. Third: Internet games (non math related). Fourth: Slept again :p. Fifth: Writing Order through the...etc... Sixth: Fanfiction on internet! Does that sound like a math day to you, cause it don't to me! Anyway, much awaited Ministry party chapter. This was, admittedly, hard to write. Anyway, read, enjoy and comment.**

_**Edited: 27/04/11  
**_

Butterflies and Judgmental Eyes

I stood looking in the mirror, twirling from left to right, to see every part of my outfit. I was wearing a simple cream, knee length, strappy dress, a silver clutch bag and shoes. This was Layla's dress, loaned to me as I didn't own many dresses myself. I wasn't looking forward to the Ministry dinner, err- thing, but I was looking forward to going with Remus. He'd decided to remind me often over the last week that the Ministry would not like him going, but I'd made up my mind. And I didn't intend to stay there that long, anyway.

There was a knock at the door, and I couldn't help but smile. Remus was here! I practically sprinted to the door, before quickly slowing, sorting myself out, and opening the door calmly. Remus stood in front of me, wearing a set of navy blue robes and holding a rose in one hand. He looked up at me and gasped. I fiddled with a lock of brown hair, the rest trailing down my back. My hair was twisted in shinny brown curls.

"Wow, Tonks. You look..."

"Thanks" I said, blushing. "You look rather handsome yourself". He gave a wolfish smile, making butterflies erupt in my stomach, and held out the rose for me. I took the rose; it was white and matched my dress.

"Tonks, before we go, I want to warn you. Tonight, you'll see how the Ministry treats people like me. And, it might be..."

"Remus, I really don't care what the Ministry think, and besides, we don't have to stay long. We could sneak off and go round London" I suggested, hopefully. He smiled, and held out his arm. I laced mine through his, they fit together perfectly. More butterflies erupted in my stomach at his touch, but I tried to ignore them. We disapparated.

We arrived outside a fancy building that the Ministry were using for the party, and entered out of the chilly night air to the warmth inside. There was a large table in the middle of the room, set up with golden plates and cutlery. People were milling about, talking to wealthy and important guests, as well as sipping champagne. Why the ministry were so against Muggles, and still drank champagne, I'll never know. I looked around the crowds of people, until I spotted Bill and Fleur standing near the back, near the table of drinks. I grabbed Remus's wrist and pulled him through the crowd towards them.

"Wotcher Bill, hey Fleur" I greeted them happily.

"Thank god you two are here, the dinner isn't starting for another couple of hours" Bill breathed, looking annoyed. I groaned. Remus squeezed my arm comfortingly.

"Eet's rather boring ere'" said Fleur.

"Yes, we Ministry lot are terribly dull" I said, seriously. Remus laughed beside me. Bill smirked and even Fleur couldn't help but smile.

"So... I've spotted my stupid little brother" said Bill, indifferently, nodding to someone behind me. I turned, along with Remus, and saw Percy Weasley with a pretty girl by his side. I turned back to Bill.

"Moron" I said.

"Yes, I taught him. He was very clever, though admittedly quite pompous" he grinned, guiltily at Bill. "But still, to do that to one's family..." he trailed off. I couldn't help but silently agree. I glanced at Percy again before turning back to Bill. He was going rather red around the ears, a Weasley trait, until Fleur put her hand in his. He seemed to relax.

"I'm sorry, I don't know your names" said Fleur, abruptly, in surprisingly good English.

"Oh, well, I'm Remus Lupin, and this is the beautiful Miss Nymphadora Tonks" Remus said, politely. I grimaced at the use of my first name but blushed at the same time. Did he just call me beautiful? I suddenly grinned like a little school girl, while he held out his hand to Fleur. She shook it warmly.

"Eet is a pleasure to meet you, meester Lupin" she said, sincerely, before shaking my hand. "And you too, miss Tonks".

I smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you properly. I have seen you around". She nodded, smiling.

"Tonks!" squealed someone from behind me. I tried not to groan at recognition of that voice. I turned quickly, and nearly slipped over but Remus held me up. I saw Layla dragging Matthew forcefully through the throng of people, straight towards me. She was about to get her wish, to meet Remus, the guy who had captured my heart. Her words, not mine, though I was beginning to believe there was truth in these words. I just hoped she wouldn't let anything slip.

"Layla, you're going to take my arm out of its socket" I heard Matthew cry. I stifled a laugh as Remus grabbed a couple of drinks from the table behind Bill, for me and him.

"Stop whinging!" said Layla. I laughed outright as I watched them approach. I hadn't known Layla long, but I knew her well enough to know she was a hand full. "Tonks!"

"Layla" I greeted, hugging the woman. She looked very elegant in her baby blue ball gown, and very pretty that most guys had turned to her as she past them. I just hoped she wouldn't do anything to make me jealous. I then turned and hugged Matthew, who looked like he'd just be pulled through a bush backwards; though still smart in his midnight blue robes. They came and stood with us, and I did the introductions this time.

"Matt, Layla, this is Fleur Delacour and Bill Weasley, from Gringotts. And this is Remus Lupin. Everybody, this is Matthew Dobbins and Layla Simpkins". They all shook hands, greeting each other politely. Layla shook hands with Remus last.

"It's nice to _finally_ meet you" she said, putting particular emphasis on the _'finally'_. I imagined smacking my head with my hand at this point. He cocked his eyebrow at her, and said nothing more than '_and you', _but I had no doubt he would ask me about that later. His eyes told me he was curious, and I looked away before he could see my cheeks burn.

"Meester Lupin, why are so many people looking at you?" Fleur asked, suddenly. I looked around, and saw a couple of people giving him odd looks, and whispering behind their hands. Remus sighed with a sad smile on his face.

"I take it no-one knows about me, then?" he asked the group in general.

"No" said Bill. I shook my head when Remus looked at me, feeling guilty. Pain was etched on his face, and I wanted to comfort him anyway I could. I just didn't know how.

"They're looking at me funny, because they are prejudice against my kind, which I can't blame them for, really" Fleur still looked confused, along with Matt and Layla. "I'm a werewolf" he added, quietly. Layla squeaked and gasped, everyone turned to look at her.

"Sorry, I just, I..." she trailed off, not looking at us.

"It doesn't matter. I've had worse reactions" he said, shrugging. He gave off the air of 'not being bothered', but I could tell he was a little bit hurt on the inside. I nudged him gently with my arm, as a small comfort, but Remus stood closer to me. Our arms were pressed together, and I longed to entwine our hands.

"Well you seem like an okay bloke to me" said Matt quietly, sipping a glass of wine that had come out of nowhere. I was a little surprised that Matt had been the first one to say this, but pleased all the same.

"Me too" said Fleur. Remus looked a little more comfortable. We all chatted effortlessly with each other, but people kept staring at Remus, and whispering. I became more aware of this, and became angrier with every glance someone threw at us. Remus wrapped one arm around my waist, and kept squeezing me even closer to him every once in a while. I presumed he was restraining me from attacking someone. The feeling was good, as I breathed in Remus's delicious scent, but even that couldn't distract me and people were annoying me. Soft music started playing in the hall, and even though no-one was really dancing, Remus put both his arms around me, and leaned his head on my shoulder. We swayed to the music, talking lightly to our friends, but that couldn't distract me either. The glares and mutterings sent our way were gradually becoming worse.

"Ignore them, its ok" Remus kept whispering, but I wasn't the only one who was getting pissed off with them. About an hour later, Matthew had had it with people.

"You got a problem?" he burst out angrily to a wizard, who had been staring for the last five minutes. The wizard hastily scurried off, muttering angrily. "Yeah, that's what I thought" said Matthew, smugly. Remus looked appreciative of Matt, and I was glad he wasn't as bad as some. Remus was right, I did see a lot of how people treated werewolves, and I was disgusted by it. Layla wouldn't look at him, which was annoying me too.

"Can we go?" I asked Remus, suddenly. I'd had enough, and I just wanted to be with him. Though he saw us as just friends, I desperately wished the arms around me were telling me something different. I was probably just kidding myself, and that Remus was only being a gentleman, but a girl can dream.

"Where?" he asked huskily, whispering in my ear.

"We could go walk by the Thames, or something?" I suggested. He nodded, and moved to my side. I slipped my hand into his, he didn't protest. Good sign.

"Guys, could we come with you?" asked Bill, quickly. Fleur nodded imploringly at his side. I wished I could say no, but I knew they would do the same for me.

"Sure" replied Remus. I nodded and smiled at how happy they looked. We all turned to Matt and Layla.

"Sorry, but I better stay" said Layla. I was glad; I was fed up of her tonight. Matt huffed slightly, obviously wanting to come, but he agreed to stay with her. Me, Remus, Bill and Fleur said our goodbyes, and hastily left the Ministry's party.

London was quiet, especially down by the Thames, which was odd for a Saturday night. I stared absentmindedly over the river, wondering how much trouble I would be in for leaving the party early. I was vaguely aware of Remus's hand still in mine, and I began to daydream. I only snapped back to reality when Remus tugged on my hand.

"You ok?" he asked, concern written all over his face.

"Yeah" I said. "I'm hungry!" He chuckled. I looked ahead of us at Bill and Fleur, they were giggling about something, and he had his arm wrapped around her protectively. I sighed, why couldn't I have something like that? A gust of wind whipped around me and I suddenly realised how cold it was. I rubbed my arms. Remus's cloak draped across me, I only just realised that he had changed his clothes. He must have transfigured them, and Bill seemed to have done the same.

Remus's arm was around my shoulder, holding the cloak around the both of us. I snuggled slightly into his warmth.

"Oi, Bill" Remus called, Bill turned round and came over to us, Fleur trailing along elegantly with him. "Have you got any Muggle money?" he asked. Bill searched in his pocket and brought out a ten pound note, with a big cheesy grin on his face. I only knew it was a ten pound note because I took Muggle studies in O.W.L.s but not in N.E.W.T.s. Remus pulled out a couple of coins.

"Do you reckon this will be enough to get something to eat?" Remus asked, uncertainly.

"Should be" said Bill, taking all the money. "Here's a Fish 'n' Chip shop over there" he suggested, pointing behind him towards it.

"Fish 'n' Chips?" Fleur repeated, nervously.

"Traditional English cuisine" I said, and she mouthed 'o'. Remus and Bill went ahead, though Remus left me his cloak. I stayed walking with Fleur.

"You two seem to be getting along well?" I asked. She smiled.

"Ee' eez the most perfect man I've ever met. I love 'im" she said, simply. We looked up at Remus and Bill chatting animatedly.

"I know what you mean" I muttered, staring at Remus. He really was a perfect gentleman, and my heart was growing fonder every minute. She didn't reply, she didn't seem to hear me. When we got to the edge of the road we had to wait for the Muggle cars to stop. I crossed the road carefully, and when we got to the chip shop, it was empty apart from one old Muggle man.

Bill ordered Fish and Chips for us all, and Remus got hounded by the old man. I came to the conclusion that the man was very opinionated, and had to try and stop myself laughing as the old man continued talking. He pointed at me and Fleur a few times and I caught the words _'young lasses'_ but I tried to ignore him. Remus politely nodded when necessary, but he was the first one to leave once we'd got out chips. Both me and Fleur burst into giggles, and Bill muttered _'now now ladies' _but sniggered anyway.

"Did you know that 51% of Muggle men, who go to war, are unfit?" Remus said, sarcastically.

"Oh, I beg to differ on that one" I smirked, again Fleur giggled. "Where'd that come from?" I asked.

"That Muggle in there" he said, pointing over his shoulder at the chip shop we'd just left. "Barmy old codger"

It was safe to say they'd had a few. Well, _we'd_ had a few. But Remus and Bill were sitting on Fleur's sofa, trying to sing, and getting all the words wrong. Fleur was clapping merrily along, and I was looking on in amusement. This was Fleur's 'temporary accommodation', as she called it.

_"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone..." _sang Bill, out of tune. Remus joined in. _"It's not warm when she's away..."_ I laughed at their high pitched squeaks. This night had turned out more fun than I'd originally thought it would be. Remus and Bill finished off their verse and I fell about laughing at how ridiculous the scene was.

"You know, Fleur" said Bill, "you're beautiful".

"Thank you, Bill" Fleur said, shyly. Bill went and sat next to her, while Remus shuffled over to me.

"I mean it" said Bill, he put his hand on her cheek, and I knew what he was going to do before he did. He lent in and kissed her. I gasped, and giggled. Remus pulled me into a hug, and whispered _'stop giggling, or I'll give you something to giggle about' _in my ear. Bill and Fleur still hadn't pulled away from each other.

"If you two don't break the kiss, in the next five seconds, I'm going to hex you!" I shouted, pretending to vomit. They pulled apart, both looking giddy.

"Right, that's it" said Remus, I wondered what he was on about, and then he started tickling me. I squealed and fell off the sofa. His hands were still on my waist and I dragged him onto the floor, on top of me. He began tickling me again.

"No, no, stop" I choked out, between giggles. "Please, please". He relented at my begging. We pulled ourselves into a sitting position, though I instantly wished he was still tickling me. Everyone sat in silence for a minute, until I burst out laughing again. Turns out that laughter is catchy as Bill, Fleur and Remus all started laughing too. I knew Fleur and Bill had been semi-going out, but now I knew they definitely were.

"Oh my" I gasped, suddenly. "I'm in so much trouble!"

"Why?" asked Bill, confusedly?

"We spent like an hour at the party, and then disappeared. And Kingsley will freak!" I whispered. Bill laughed. Kingsley had taken ages persuading me to go, and I hadn't even seen him.

"Yeah, I'll be in trouble too, but I don't care. I had more fun tonight than I would have done, at that party" he said. I sighed, and had to agree with him. I would square it with Kingsley later.

"I guess your right" I muttered. Fleur and Bill started getting all soppy again. She kept stroking his hair, and he cupped her cheek. I decided it was time to call it a night. "I'm going now, it's late and I don't care for mushiness" I said, staring pointedly at Fleur and Bill. Remus stood up too.

"Night Bill, Fleur, Dora" Remus said to each of us in turn. He took my hand in his and raised it to his lips, brushing them delicately across my knuckle. I had to supress the shiver than ran down my spine. He winked at me, and then disappeared. I blinked rapidly.

"Well, night" I said, saluting Bill, and then disapparating.

**Ok, a bit of an abrupt end, but I really didn't have a clue how to end this. This chapter is in there for two reasons really. First: I wanted her and you to see how prejudiced some people can be against Remus. Second: Fleur says 'Tonks has let herself go' in the HBP, which means she had to know her a bit before the HBP, and I put this party thing in for those two reasons, along with Tonks wearing a fabby dress and lots of flirting! Please review! It makes me HAPPY! XD**


	20. Memories and Nightmares

**Ok, quite a short one, more of a 'fill the gap' one really. Thank you to my fantastic reviewers, I love you all. This is short and admittedly a little stupid, but this chapter and the next chapter are building up to the chapter after that. Which is quite good, if I say so myself.**

_**Edited: 27/04/11  
**_

Memories and Nightmares

"I'm sorry about Layla" Matt said, sadly, as he walked beside me. We were walking on a small field. A stream was running through the field on one side of me, and on the other side, trees were spread out in a line, there branches covered in green leaves that served as a canopy against the early morning sun.

"Why?" I asked. We walked along as a little more as he pondered the best way to answer, my Muggle clothes fluttered lightly in the breeze. My hair was shoulder length black, with streaks of blue today, and clashed magnificently with my bright clothes.

"Well, she wasn't very welcoming to your friend, Remus" he answered, sweeping some of his hair out of his face.

"It's not your fault, you shouldn't be apologising. I'm a little surprised at the reactions of some people to be honest. I mean, I knew there was a lot of prejudice against werewolves, but I didn't think it was that bad".

"Well, now you've seen first-hand that it is, though I don't think it's entirely fair. I mean, yeah, there dark creatures, but not all of them are like that any more than once a month. It's a good thing I'm open-minded" he said.

"I'm glad that you are" I said, simply. "I just wish more people were".

"You never know, maybe one day it will change" he suggested, though his voice sounded doubtful.

"Maybe, I guess" I mumbled. Matt was quiet for several minutes as we walked through the field.

"Do you love him?" Matt asked, suddenly. I almost choked in surprise at the question.

"Where did that come from?" I asked back.

"I don't know; I was just curious. The way you to acted with each other, it just implied that... never mind. You don't have to answer me, I understand, it's none of my business" he said. He sounded very sincere. I wasn't quite sure if his little crush on me was gone, but I hoped so.

"I'd rather not talk about it, if that's ok?" I asked, though even if it wasn't ok, I wouldn't be giving him any answers. I did love Remus, I was pretty sure of that now, but when I had first started to love him, I couldn't tell you when, because even I didn't know. And I didn't want to discuss it with anyone.

"Ok" he said. "So, I've been thinking lately that there's something odd about this breakout business" he said, evidently trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, I've been thinking that lately too" I agreed, hesitantly. Matt may be my friend, but that didn't mean he couldn't grass me up.

"You're not going to grass me up for saying what I'm going to say next, are you?" he asked, quickly. I blinked in shock but composed myself.

"Course not" I reassured. He smiled.

"Well, I think the Ministry is going downhill" he admitted, looking around him as if to see if anyone from the Ministry was around, listening to our conversation. "I mean, the story we were told about the breakout has some pretty major holes in it. Why not tell us the full story?"

"I agree with you there, but they may not know the full story". He looked relieved that I agreed with him; obviously he'd been thinking the same as me. You may be friends with someone, but there was never a guarantee that they wouldn't grass you up. "Or they may not want to admit the truth" I muttered under my breath. Matt nodded. A few minutes of silent walking later, he stopped and looked up at an old run down cottage. I followed his gaze.

The cottage had tiles missing, and half a wall on the left side had caved in. The windows were boarded up, and the garden around it was over grown. We had been sent here because Muggles had spotted magic happening inside the house, though of course they didn't know what it was. It was a serious offence and whoever was squatting in this place was in trouble.

Matt walked towards the cottage purposefully, and I hurried to keep up with him. I held my wand loosely between my thumb and forefinger, in my pocket, ready to be taken out at any moment. The door of the house was hanging loosely on one hinge; it was covered in hundreds of tiny little holes. Matt pushed it open, and it fell off of its remaining hinge and onto the floor in front of us. The smell inside the rundown cottage was damp and musty.

Both of us pulled out our wands and muttered _'Lumos'. _Our wand tips ignited and we could see the inside of the hallway. Matt moved into the hallway first, pausing every so often to peek through the holes in the walls. He was moving to slow for my liking, so I moved past him and moved towards the end room. He quickly followed, grumbling something about impatience.

In the room there was an old sofa, several piles of tattered books, a couple of empty jars (the type you kept potions ingredients in) and a bubbling cauldron. The mixture was black and smelt worse than Mundungus, which was definitely saying something.

"Homenum revelio" whispered Matthew. Nothing happened.

"No-one's here" I muttered, disappointedly.

"Yep, whoever was here obviously realised we were coming. Abandoned the place" he said. "Probably why this potion has gone to crap" he said, sniffing the potion with distaste.

"Yeah, well, we should clean this place up, just in case any of those Muggle _'police' _come sniffing about" I said. "I don't know what they'd make of this".

"Your right there" he replied "_Evanesco_". Everything disappeared, the cauldron with the potion, the tatty books and the sofa, which didn't exactly disappear. It just fell apart, but it was good enough.

"Well, now that that's done" I said, smiling. "Want to go get a smoothie?" He laughed heartily and we made our way back out of the cottage, and down the field we'd just walked through.

Later that day I walked into Grimmauld Place, only to be greeted with silence. I searched the house for Sirius, but I couldn't find him, even Kreacher wasn't lurking around calling me a 'freak'. Every room I'd searched so far had been empty, and creepy. I finally got to Sirius's Room, and hesitated. He'd never been in my room, why should I go in his? Wasn't it an invasion of privacy? _But, you're just checking for him, it's not like your snooping, _I reasoned with myself. I pushed the door gently open, it creaked a little as it opened, and hit the wall lightly. Sirius's room was draped with Gryffindor hangings, and posters of Muggle girls and Motorbikes. I knew they were Muggles because they weren't moving, and there pictures were faded. It seemed Sirius had gone all out to annoy his mum.

I looked over at the corner and then towards the bed, then back at the corner. Sirius was sitting cross legged on the floor, with what looked like a bowl in his hands, and his head in it. I rushed over to the corner and shook him roughly.

"Sirius" I said as he pulled his head from the bowl. He wasn't wet, though the bowl was full of some substance that looked like liquid but gas at the same time. I didn't even know if that made sense.

"Hello Tonks" he said, sadly. "What you doing here?"

"Wanted to come and see you" I said, simply, which was the truth.

"Sure" he said, one eyebrow rose in disbelief.

"What are you doing?" I then asked, nodding towards the large bowl.

"Watching myself as a teenager" he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I looked inquisitively at him. "This is a pensieve". My mouth formed an 'o'. I should have recognised it, but it hadn't clicked at the time. Then a question sprang into my mind.

"Where'd you get a pensieve, there really rare?" I asked, curiously.

"My dear old mum is well known for having things she shouldn't" he said, shrugging, moving the pensieve onto the bed, and sitting down next to it. I sat next to him.

"What were you like as a teenager?"

"Free" he said. I felt a frown slip onto my face.

"You'll be free again Sirius, it's only a matter of time" I reassured him. He smiled weakly at me, and then his eyes suddenly lit up.

"Do you want to see me, when I was a teenager?" he asked, excitedly. How could I refuse a face like that?

"Sure" I said, as he pushed the pensieve towards me. "What do I have to do?"

"Just stick your head in" he said, unhelpfully.

"Ok" I said, and then took a breath before sticking my head in. I expected to hit my head on the bottom, but instead I felt myself fall through the air and land comfortably on a Gryffindor common room, armchair.

_Two boys were sitting on the sofa by the fireplace. Another boy was sitting by the fire, his face buried in a book. I walked towards them, of course they couldn't see me, but I was amazed. The boy on the left of the sofa was chucking a snitch into the air and catching it. He had scruffy hair and glasses, and was easily recognised as James Potter. Harry was the spitting image of him, except James had hazel eyes. The boy next to him was very handsome, with long black hair, with was slightly fluffy__,__ and dark grey eyes. He kept winking at a girl in the corner, who kept giggling and whispering with her friends. Obviously this was Sirius._

_I then looked at the boy near the fireplace, and felt all the breath leave me. _

_"Moony, put the book down" moaned the teenage Sirius. The boy with sandy hair and chocolate brown eyes looked up at Sirius. He was lanky and fair; he had no grey hair and only one scar on the side of his cheek._

_"Nope" he said, turning back to his book. Sirius stood up and walked over to him. He plucked the book out of the younger Remus's hands and threw it into the fire._

_"Sirius, that's the third book you've chucked in there this week, and it's only Tuesday!" complained Remus. _

_"Should have done what I told you to, then!" Sirius replied. James came over and laid a hand on Sirius's shoulder._

_"Leave him be, Padfoot" he said. "I have an idea"._

_"And what idea would that be then, Prongs" asked Sirius._

_"I have a bad feeling about this" said Remus. James laughed and then shot a hex towards a boy sitting near the window. His hair started turning different colours until it stuck with green, and the boys robes had green hearts on it with the words 'Slytherin lover' all over them. Everyone started laughing, and a red haired girl came up to them._

_"James Potter, ten points from Gryffindor for hexing a fellow student" she said, heatedly, before turning to Remus. "Remus, I can't believe you didn't dock points for that"._

_"Didn't see anything" mumbled Remus, getting another book out of his bag and hiding behind it._

_"Evans" said James. "There's a Hogsmead..."_

_"No" she said, and stalked off._

_"Give it up mate, she's a lost cause" said Sirius, before jumping up. "I'm going to prank Dumbly-dore" he said, merrily, and skipped towards the common room portrait. _The scene faded. I felt myself being dragged upwards.

Sirius was still sitting beside me, watching me take a deep breath and adjust my eyes. The light was so dim in his room.

"In all your time at Hogwarts, how many of Remus's books did you chuck into the fire?" I asked. He laughed loudly.

"Too many to count" he choked. "Remus got mad at me most times, but he could never stay angry with any of us for long".

"Cool".

"What were you like in school?" Sirius asked, curiously, standing up and gesturing me to follow him out of the room.

"Well, I had friends, and a best friend for some time, but I didn't hang around with them much. In time, we all just grew apart. You may not believe it, but I was quite quiet" I said. He smirked. "It's the truth, in fourth year I decided I wanted to be an Auror, and studied really hard. Though I was still quite cheeky to the teachers, they didn't like me having 'wild' hair".

"I can imagine, but that's what makes you, you!" he said, as we walked down the stairs.

"Yeah, well that was my retort. But the teachers still saw fit to give me detention" I shrugged.

"So you were quiet, but you got detentions and back chatted teachers" he asked, with raised eyebrows.

"Yep" I said.

"Well, ok then". We walked down another flight of stairs, before he spoke again. "Did you have any boyfriends?"

"Why?" I asked.

"Just curious" he said, shrugging.

"Then you'll just have to stay curious" I said, he huffed but gave up. The house was strangely quiet, no order members were in, Kreacher had disappeared, and it seemed that Remus had gone on another task for Dumbledore.

We got to the drawing room, and sat on the comfy sofa near the fireplace. Sirius pointed his wand at it, and tiny flames sparked up from the logs.

"You didn't happen to see Kreacher, when you came in did you?" he asked, rather suddenly.

"No I didn't, why?" I asked in reply.

"The little snot face has disappeared again. Probably off sulking in the attic again, but it's getting stupid now" he muttered. I hummed in reply. Sirius's mood changed so suddenly they could give you whip lash. He became all dark and depressed, more so than usual, and earlier he seemed quite contented. I sat staring into the fire, its dancing flames hypnotising me, and my head lolling forwards, my eyes closing...

_I was running through the forest again, it was dark and cold. The wind whipped my hair around my face, making it hard to see the branches. As before, a small glowing light came out of nowhere, and I immediately followed it, without question, because even though I knew I shouldn't, I trusted it. I began walking along the trail, but something was different. I'd been here before, but there was someone ahead of me. The light had burst and formed someone. There was never anyone ahead of me. A high pitch cackle sounded from behind me, before I had chance to discover the identity of the person walking in front of me. I instantly reached into my pocket for my wand, but I found it wasn't there. _

_"Such a naive little girl...trusting the forest to shield you...stupid mistake..." the voice hissed. I began to turn hesitantly towards the voice._

_"Dora, don't" shouted a male voice. I turned back towards the person in front of me, who had turned around. Remus was standing there, bathed in light. He looked like an angel. The voice behind me cackled again, it was a woman's cackle._

_Suddenly there was a flash of green light, it passed over my head and hit Remus. He dropped silently to the floor, I screamed._

"Tonks! Tonks, wake up! Nymphadora, wake up!" shouted a distance voice. It took all my energy to open my eyes. They snapped forcefully open, and I was blinded by bright blue light. Someone poured water over my head. I spluttered like crazy, and was helped into a sitting position. I was still on the sofa, though it was clear that I'd been asleep for some time, as darkness crept through the window.

There were several people in the room, though here outlines were blurry and only just coming into focus. Sirius was in front of me, his eyes looking worriedly into mine. I looked and saw Molly behind him, with Arthur at her side.

"Tonks dear, are you alright?" asked Molly, in a kind voice.

"Yes" I heard myself croak, though I could tell they knew I was lying. "What happened?"

"Well, you fell asleep, and you kept tossing and turning, but I couldn't wake you up. And then you started to scream" said Sirius. "You scared me for a minute there, Tonks".

"We heard you screaming from the kitchen, I've never heard anything like it" said Molly, faintly.

"What was I screaming?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. I was suddenly aware that my eyes were wet and as my hand slipped to my cheek, I could feel the dampness under my fingers. Perhaps I'd been crying, but then I realised that Sirius had just dumped water over my head. However, I certainly felt like crying at the moment, and was sure that I would be if I wasn't being watched.

"Just screaming in general, you weren't saying anything. You might have said 'NO' a couple of times, but mainly screaming" answered Sirius.

"Were you having a nightmare?" asked Molly, kindly, coming to sit beside me. She put her arm comfortingly around my shoulders.

"I must have been, but I don't remember what happened in the dream" I said, quickly. I did remember, clear as day. The image of Remus falling was too much to bear, and I didn't want to share it with anyone.

"Not many people do" agreed Arthur. I wiped my cheeks on the back of my sleeves, and sniffed.

"I think I need to go home and get some dreamless sleep. I have a bottle in the cupboard" I said, more to myself than anyone.

"Are you sure, Tonks?" Sirius asked.

"I'm sure".

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to stay? Have some supper?" asked Molly. Damn, it must be late.

"I'm positive Molly, I just want to go home" I said, firmly, standing up. And with that, I left the room, and I left the house.

I turned on the light in my dark flat, and locked the door. I searched in the kitchen for some dreamless sleep potion, usually I wouldn't take it, but I had to do something to get that terrible dream out of my head. I un-stoppered the bottle and walked towards my bedroom, gulping it down. I only just reached my bed, before I collapsed into a calm, peaceful sleep.

**Please review. I'm very tired, so see ya xx**


	21. Mixed Feelings

**Ok, I haven't been well this week, so bear with me. This is a sort of 'fill in' chapter. I had originally planned to leave this one out, cuz it's not very good, but the chapter after this starts in March and I couldn't exactly leave a month gap. Those who want a romantic valentines for Tonks, sorry, but no! This is to be realistic, and Valentines either sucks or is a joke to single people. Let's see what Tonks comes up with...**

_**Edited: 27/04/11  
**_

Mixed Feelings

"Matthew James Dobbins get this thing away from ME!" screamed the unmistakable voice of Layla Simpkins, coming from the corridor outside my cubicle. I jumped up, and slid my cubicle door open to see Layla running towards Matthew, who was standing almost opposite my cubicle, talking to Dawlish. Her eyes looked murderous, and there was a tiny fairy circling her head, showering her with tiny confetti hearts. _Mini Cupid! _How sweet.

She ran straight up to Matthew and slapped him repeated on his left arm, with a heavy looking book. It was a book of Ministry rules, and I was intrigued that there was a book, but that's not the reason I removed it from her hands. Matthew looked at me gratefully, but I then whacked him upside the head with it.

"Ouch! What was that for?" he said, indignantly.

"You annoyed Layla. And, it looked like fun" I shrugged. I then handed the book back to Layla, Matthew cringed as if Layla was going to hit him again, but she didn't. Dawlish just muttered something that sounded like _'immature' _and stalked off.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Dawlish!" I shouted after him. I couldn't resist. Both Layla and Matthew laughed heartily, before Layla turned back to Matt.

"Matt, please make this thing go away" begged Layla. Matt smirked and shook his head.

"Hey Tonks, I see you got a personalised memo of doom" Matt said, cheerfully. I held up the parchment and grinned. It was my very own memo; well, my first personal one anyway. Matt had gotten so many that he could paper his cubicle with them. "What's it say?"

_"Immature behaviour is unbecoming in an Auror" _I read out. He laughed loudly.

"Please Matt" begged Layla. "Make him stop".

"Oi, cupid wannabe" I said to the little fairy, which turned to glare at me. "Go pester someone else".

"Who would you like me to pester, madam?" it asked, politely, taking me by surprise. I thought about it for a moment, while Matt looked gobsmacked that it was being polite to me. I had to go for an Order meeting in about ten minutes, and Kingsley would still be in his office. It would give everybody a laugh.

"Kingsley Shacklebolt" I said, smugly, pointing at Kingsley cubicle. It flew off.

"Hey, you're meant to work for me" Matt shouted, but it ignored him and went into Kingsley's office. After a few seconds there was a girlish scream that made everyone in the department jump out of their chairs.

"NYMPHADORA TONKS!" Kingsley screamed.

"I think that's my cue to leg it" I said, conversationally. Matt and Layla snorted and pushed me towards the lifts. I sprinted up the corridor and stepped into the lift just as Kingsley burst out of his office. Luckily the lift doors closed, and it began to move before Kingsley could see me. I was just asking for trouble, especially because he would get me at the meeting. I guess I hadn't really thought it through. Still, it was pretty funny.

I sprinted through the Atrium, my cloak billowing behind me, heading for the door onto the London streets. As soon as I step out onto the street, I apparated to Grimmauld Place. Landing on the deserted street, I gave myself several seconds breathing time before jogging up the steps of no.12. I walked carefully down the hall, stumbling only once on the troll leg umbrella stand, and as I put my hand on the kitchen door, I heard the front door open from behind me. Panicking slightly, I burst through the kitchen door and slammed it behind me.

Before anyone could say anything, I sprinted over to Remus and Sirius, shouting 'hide me'. I dived in between their chairs and under the table.

"I'm not here" I whispered, frantically. They didn't have chance to reply, as the door opened and shut again.

"Where is she?" asked the deep, and slightly hysterical, voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt.

"To whom are you referring too?" Remus asked, calmly.

"I know she's here" said Kingsley; I saw his legs move up and down the room, while tiny paper hearts floated to the floor. It took me everything I had not to laugh, and give myself away. Then Kingsley stopped in front of me, on the opposite side of the table, and lifted up the cloth. I stayed still, though it was no good, I knew was busted. But he just looked straight through me, as if I wasn't there, and got back up again.

"Well, she'll have to turn up sometime" he said, annoyance present in his voice. I looked at Remus, who was tucking his wand back in his pocket, then down at my body. I nearly gasped. I was invisible, well, near enough. Trust Remus to be quick thinking, and disillusion me. I would have to repay him later.

More people starting filing in for the meeting, but I didn't reappear. I sat under the table, watching legs, and being pushed about by chairs. The one opposite me tucked in so far, I was pushed right up against Remus's legs. Not that I minded. Emmeline had come to sit beside him, and I tied the laces of her boots together. I knew it was a very childish thing to do, but I knew that it would be amusing. Then I thought better of it. I mean, I know I didn't like her, but if she stood up and tried to walk, she could hurt herself. Reluctantly, I untied her laces again.

The meeting was dull, and seemed to drag on longer than usual, but that was probably just because I was under the table. I rested my head on Remus's knee, and after a while I became aware that I was tracing patterns up and down his leg with my fingers. Remus's sharp intake of breath stopped all the talking from above the table. I realised my hand was further up his leg than I realised. Not that far, you dirty minded people, but far enough.

"Sorry" he said to the Order. "I have a slightly twinge in my leg". They began discussing other matters once more, and I hastily removed my hand from his leg. I then decided I'd try and cover up my embarrassment, which only Remus and I knew about, by poking Sirius sharply in the thigh.

"Ouch! Bugger me" he shouted, and the talking stopped again.

"Is there something you'd like to share with us, Sirius?" asked Dumbledore, and though I couldn't see him, I knew his eyes would be twinkling. I fell about under the table, in a silent fit of giggles.

"No, Albus, nothing" he said.

"Nymphadora, get out of there!" growled Mad-eye. I cringed. Damn him, and his stupid magical eye. Why did he have to call me up now? I crawled in between Sirius and Remus, and pulled myself uneasily up, using the edge of the table for support. Some of the Order members gasped, and I had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. I stood up and Remus summoned a chair for me. I took it gratefully, avoiding everybody's eyes.

"Would you care to explain why you were under the table, Miss Tonks?" asked Dumbledore, curiously. As predicted, his eyes were twinkling.

"Hiding" I muttered, looking down at my lap.

"Tonks" said the voice of Kingsley. "Get. This. Thing. Away. From. Me". I looked up to see the mini cupid was still there, and Kingsley was hardly visible through all the confetti.

"Charming. You offer a little love and he throws it back in your face" said the cupid, shaking his head.

"It's ok. Leave him alone now" I said. Cupid looked sad, and came and sat on my shoulder. I patted it lightly on the head and turned towards Dumbledore, who chuckled appreciatively.

"The meeting is over. If you missed anything while you were under there, I'm sure Remus could fill you in" said Dumbledore, before he swept from the room.

"Oh" was all I said, as people began moving about. What was the point of me getting out from under the table, it was comfy down there. Emmeline got up from her place and then fell onto the floor. I gasped, and realised I hadn't tied her shoe laces up again; I'd only untied them from each other. She turned on the floor and glared at me, as Remus helped her up off the floor.

She ran from the room, and slammed the door behind her. Guilt flooded through me, I knew what it was like to be embarrassed in front of people. I got up and followed her, without meeting anybody's eyes. The drawing room door was shut, and I went over to it, opening it hesitantly. Emmeline was standing near the fireplace, her head bowed.

"Emmeline, I'm really sorry" I said, sincerely. I heard her sigh, shakily. She turned towards me, but said nothing. "I shouldn't have done it, it was very immature of me and I hope you'll forgive me".

"It's okay Tonks, I deserved it" she muttered. "I've been awful to you, haven't I?"

I wasn't going to lie. "Yes" I said, simply. "Why?"

"I don't know, I guess I just jumped to conclusions about you" she said.

"And I did about you. I guess we both acted awful towards each other" I said, moving closer towards her. "Could we start over?" She nodded and held out her hand, I shook it and smiled. She gave a watery chuckle.

"I feel like an infant" she said, wiping her eyes. "I hardly ever cry".

"Yeah, well, you were embarrassed. I get that" I said, she gave a smile that clearly said 'I know'.

"I better get going" she said, suddenly, looking down at her watch. I walked with her to the door in silence, but it was comfortable and the awkwardness that I'd once felt, was almost gone. She opened the door, and made to leave, but turned back to me.

"Look after him, Tonks" she whispered, and then left. I shut the door behind her, I felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Maybe my Order life would be easier now. _Look after him Tonks. _What did she mean? Could she really be talking about...?

"That was a good thing you did" Remus said, coming up behind me. I turned towards him.

"No it wasn't. It was horrible, and I shouldn't have done it" I said.

"Oh yes, it was a bit mean, but you took responsibility and you apologised. Did Emmeline tell you why she acted so cold towards you?"

"No, Professor. And we Hufflepuffs don't push people into saying stuff...much". He laughed appreciatively, and nodded holding his arms open. He pouted at me to give him a hug, and I couldn't refuse those eyes.

I lent my head against his chest and held him tightly. It was an amazing feeling, hugging someone, and never wanting to let go. You felt warm and safe. All too soon he pulled away. I looked into his chocolate coloured eyes, his head inches away from mine. His hand came up and caressed my cheek. Mini cupid came out of the kitchen and sat back on my shoulder, chucking confetti about. I took a step away from Remus.

"I'd better be going" I said, quietly. I turned and walked towards the door, and had to fight the urge to turn back and kiss him, and damn the consequences. My heart beat rapidly against my rib cage.

"Tonks" he said, and I tried to stop myself turning around, but my body refused to listen to my head. "Happy Valentine's day" he whispered.

"Happy Valentine's day, Remus" I replied, and then hastily left, wondering what on earth was happening to me.

It was cold and dark out. The street lamps provided very little light, but I could see the road ahead. I didn't know what had made me come out tonight, just that so many confusing thoughts were fogging up my brain, and I needed air. London was creepy at night, especially when you're not in the centre of it.

I found my feet taking me in the direction of Grimmauld Place, and I didn't try to stop them. I really wanted to see Sirius. I wasn't so sure about Remus. My hand instinctively reached up to my neck, and clasped around my locket. Remus confused me, he gave me all these signals and then ...nothing. I sighed, my breath was icy. It was still technically winter, but it was so cold. I was at the corner of Grimmauld Place, and as I walked on, I could have sworn it was getting colder.

And then I saw it, hovering over a lifeless form that was lying in the middle of the pavement, opposite Grimmauld Place. My hand reached my mouth, as I looked at the body. From what I could tell it was a woman, wearing laced boots, one had fallen off.

Emmeline. "Emmeline" I screamed, running towards the Dementor. I pulled out my wand and pointed it at the Dementor but nothing but a wisp of smoke came out. _Think Tonks think, think happy!_ But it was hopeless, she was going to die. Icy breathe on my face. My heart chilled with dread and despair. _No Tonks don't give up. _A woman cackled, and there was a flash of green. _No, it's just a dream. What makes you happy...think!_

"Expecto patronum" I roared, my meerkat jumped out of my wand and shot straight at the Dementor. It was beaten back and glided away. My meerkat stayed floating through the air around me for a couple of seconds, and then vanished. I ran over to Emmeline and put her arms around my shoulders. I then lifted her legs up and carried her up the steps of Grimmauld Place. It was safe to say she was heavy. I kicked open the door.

"SIRIUS!" I screamed, Mrs Black started screaming too, but I didn't care. "Sirius!" Three people burst out of the room in front of me. Remus, Sirius and Molly.

"Help her, please. Please, help her" I kept repeating, Molly and Sirius took Emmeline from me hastily, taking her into the drawing room. Remus stayed staring at me, my knees buckled. I realised I was shaking, but I couldn't stop. The images washed over me. Remus was kneeling beside me.

"Tonks? Tonks, can you hear me?" his voice echoed as if through a tunnel. I nodded weakly. "Tonks, come on". He tried to lift me, but I refused to move.

"There was a Dementor... its icy breath on my face...I thought she was dead...no point fighting". My words came shakily out, I felt his arms wrap around me, as I was pulled into his warm embrace. I didn't protest but clung to him like a little child, sobbing weakly.

"Shh Dora, shh. It's alright; I won't let it hurt you. You're safe now" he whispered, soothingly. I buried my face in his neck. He picked me up off the floor, and carried me into the same room that Sirius and Molly had just taken Emmeline. Emmeline was lying on the sofa, covered in blankets, having some strange liquid being poured down her neck. Her breathing became steadier. Remus sat me in the armchair by the fire, while Molly came over with a blanket and tucked it around me. Remus moved away to check on Emmeline, and I watched him go.

"You ok, dear?" Molly asked, startling me slightly.

"Yes Molly, how's Emmeline?" I replied.

"She'll be fine, it's lucky you found her when you did. Did any Muggles see you?" she asked.

"I don't think so" I said, uncertainly. I looked over at Remus, who was hitting Sirius with a pillow. Sirius had spilled some of the potion on Remus. Remus glanced over at me and when he saw me looking he smiled, before turning back to Sirius and Emmeline.

Molly sighed. "Don't worry dear, I still can't figure them out" Molly said, vaguely. She patted the blanket around my legs, and left the room. I thought about what she'd just said, it was kind of odd. Did she know? When she came back she handed me a mug of hot tea, and then went to check Emmeline. I watched the three of them closely, Molly and Sirius arguing about something I wasn't listening too, and Remus checking Emmeline's temperature.

I wanted to be wrapped in Remus's arms again, but I couldn't. I looked into the fire, thinking about the memory I chose for my Patronus. I didn't understand why the first one didn't work. It was usually the one where Hufflepuff won the match against Ravenclaw, and how happy I was. I was a beater at the time. But that memory hadn't worked.

_Think about what makes me happy..._

Three guesses as to what that was.

**Okay, so thanks to my reviewers. I'm saying thanks here instead of at the top, but whoo! I didn't really like this chapter, but the next chapter I've been planning for ages and can't wait to start writing. Emmeline and Tonks are no longer mortal enemies, yay! I needed them to stop fighting now, I'll explain ****why**** another time. Please review XD**


	22. A Simple Plan

**Hello earthlings, I come in peace! Nano Nano! Thank you to all my dazzling reviewers who are sticking with me and leaving lovely reviews, but you still haven't answered my question. This story, full thing or split into three parts (for each book)? Come on, I need help. Ok, so this chapter was challenging but fun for me to write, so read away...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, yada yada yada...**

_**Edited: 27/04/11  
**_

A Simple Plan

I was sitting in my cubicle reading, which wasn't like me, but today was different. It was the first week of March, and the cold weather had finally started to disappear. My watch read 6:30 a.m. I had been at work for two hours already. About half an hour ago, Quill had arrived with a copy of this morning's Quibbler. It was odd because I'd never read the Quibbler before, but as soon as I read the front cover I realised why it had been sent to me. There was an interview with Harry inside; about the night that Voldemort had come back. Yes, I could think the name but I still couldn't say it.

I was so busy reading the article, I forgot about anyone else outside my cubicle. The article had made me cry, especially when he talked about seeing his parents. The whole article was so moving that I doubted that anyone who saw it would believe it was rubbish. If someone read this, I believed they would finally understand that he wasn't a liar, and if they didn't, well, they were idiots.

Just as I finished reading the article, a black piece of parchment landed in my lap out of nowhere. I put down my Quibbler and picked it up, eyeing it warily, and a little curiously. Written in white were the words: _Raven Tavern, East London, Death Eaters spotted._ I blinked several times at the parchment before it exploded in my hand, and burnt it slightly. _Raven Tavern. _What did this person want me to do? Go check it out? Why me? So many questions that I knew would possibly never been answered.

Ok, this is obviously not a joke. Hence the reason it exploded, it was private information. I needed to make a plan. I would go to the Tavern tonight, as it was my only free night this week. I would morph into a creepy, pale person. I shuddered at the thought. I would see what was there; make sure I knew what I was dealing with before I reported it to anyone. I also wouldn't tell anyone, the person who had sent me the letter obviously didn't want me too. Again, hence the reason it blew up and burnt me.

I knew this was extremely dangerous. Going to an unknown place, instructed by a source I didn't know, with no-one else knowing my whereabouts. It was just asking for trouble. I sighed deeply and picked up my discarded Quibbler and placed it carefully in my small bag, that I had begun using to carry reports in, instead of my protesting arms. As I pulled myself upright from putting the Quibbler away, the bag was at my feet, I noticed a streak of blue light pass my cubicle. It seemed to be heading towards the other end of the corridor.

Hesitantly, I got up from my chair and slid my cubicle door open. What met my eyes surprised me, and gave me the urge to laugh. I was looking at the opposite wall, where hundreds of Quibbler articles, all about Harry, had been blown up and pasted along the wall. The urge tickled my throat, and I let out a small giggle, which soon turned into a hearty laugh. The outside of my cubicle had been decorated with the article too, and the floors seemed to be covered in loose pages of the Quibbler. Whoever did this was a genius, and I hoped very much that they didn't get caught. Someone as brilliant as this didn't deserve to be sacked.

And then it hit me. The blue streak of light, heading off to other floors, doing the exact same thing and of course, if you blinked, you missed it. And it was so early, hardly anyone was in and therefore you were less likely to get caught. Genius.

I heard a loud scream of anger echoed through the corridor. Several people appeared from random cubicles, and were instantly drawn to the article. One man was laughing heartily, and picking up a copy from the floor. Two witches shook their heads in disgust and another had picked up a Quibbler and was reading intently. None of them acknowledged me. There was an angry yell, closer this time than before, and I wasn't the only one who scurried into my cubicle as Fudge came storming down the corridor, his ears seemed to be smoking and his face was a magnificent shade of puce. I slammed the cubicle door shut and pushed my bag way under my desk. If he saw the article in it, he would immediately jump to conclusions.

I sat in my chair and pulled any old report towards me, and bent my head over it. I morphed my emerald green hair longer to cover my face, and pulled out a quill. Quill, my faithful owl, hooted softly at me as Fudge's booming voice filled my ears.

"WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?"

I stayed silent, as did the rest of the Aurors who were working on this floor. I swear my breathing got heavier, just to make me look and feel guilty, though I hadn't done anything wrong… this time.

"ALL THOSE WHO ARE IN THERE OFFICES WILL BE IN MY OFFICE WITHIN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES" he screamed like a maniac, and then added "And don't think I don't know who's here" in a weird, twisted voice. Yep, it was official. He was a maniac.

I stepped hesitantly out of my cubicle, along with the Aurors I'd seen come out of there cubicles earlier, feeling like every step I took would lead me to the gates of Hell and all its annoyingness (which I knew probably wasn't a word). In some ways it was, in others, it was just a nuisance that my day could have done without.

The walk to Fudges office was short, but no less boring. Everywhere I looked, the article was pasted, and it was beginning to hurt my eyes. When I got to Fudges office, it was apparent that my floor wasn't the only one which had been papered with the article as there were too many people here to possibly belong to just one floor. Everybody was sitting in chairs that had appeared from nowhere, and I figured I'd better do the same. I sat on a stool, not a chair like everyone else, a stool. I sat on it with a grimace, and watched others come through the door. Soon, no-one else came in and Fudge started his speech/rant.

"As you will have seen on your way down here, the Potter boy has given an interview with the Quibbler" as he said the magazine's name, he sneered in disgust. Like most of the wizarding community, his respect for the Quibble was low. It wasn't a popular magazine and I was slightly ashamed to admit that I regarded it as a bit of a joke. "I want you all to know that these are lies, made up by a twisted, dangerous boy. It's another attempt to turn the public against us". _'You do enough to turn them against us anyway, stupid man' _I thought, wryly.

"So, I want to know who is responsible for pasting this filth around our Ministry. If you speak now, no legal charges will be pressed" he said, firmly, though he never said he wouldn't have them fired. Everyone in the room turned to statues, as if moving would somehow make them look guilty. I copied them, not wanting to get into trouble for something I hadn't done, this time.

"Fine, if no-one will own up, I'll have to use other means to get the truth. Miss Tonks" he said, looking directly at me. _Uh-oh spaghetti-o. _"Would you please come here?"

All eyes were on me, some were looking intrigued, some anxious, some concerned. But all looked sympathetic; we all knew how ruthless and angry Fudge could get. And he was getting more so by the day. I moved off my stool and walked slowly towards him, being careful not to look clumsy under his unwelcoming glare. His office was bigger than the last time I'd visited it, but I was sure that was magic. I reached his desk.

"Minister" I said, carefully.

"Could I have your wand, please?" he asked, though he wasn't really asking, and I knew I wasn't allowed to refuse though I wondered whether he was actually allowed to do this. Usually this sort of thing was dealt with by the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, my department. Hesitantly, I pulled out my wand from my pocket, and handed it to him. He took out his own wand, and pointed at mine. I felt like snatching mine back, afraid he was about to blast it, but instead he did something more surprising.

_"Prior Incantato" _he whispered_. _The shadow of a small Meerkat came out, the last thing I'd cast with my wand was a Patronus. Because of course, everybody knows Prior Incantato shows the last spells performed with the wand. But had I really not used my wand that long, I'd been flooing to work, and I hadn't been anywhere but work for a while so...damn.

"I believe you are innocent Miss Tonks" he announced to the room, but then whispered so only I could hear, "for now". I gulped, and took my wand back. "Miss Tonks, I would like you to start from the top floor and work your way down, removing all the copies of that rag".

"Of course, Minister!" I said, with fake chirpiness. I quickly walked out of his office, while he called someone else to his desk, and all eyes were still on me. I vanished my stool with a simple flick of my wand, and a smirk on my face. As I shut the door loudly behind me, and walked along the quiet corridor towards the lifts. I would of course be going up; I had a Ministry to clean. The thought thoroughly depressed me. Obviously Fudge was punishing me with such a mundane task, but it wasn't even my fault, I didn't deserve this punishment. Cursing in frustration, I punched the top floor button and the lift doors clanged shut.

It turned out I wasn't the only Ministry member cleaning the walls of the Quibbler. Several more witches had been put on the task as well. Thinking about it, it was quite sexist. I mean, there were no men doing it, that I was aware of.

As I scraped the walls up and down with a severing charm, I kept thinking about the note I'd received. I'd decided for definite that I would act on the information, tonight. I was an Auror, and it was my job to be put in dangerous situations, especially if it was all in aid of good. My plan was simple. I would morph into someone scary looking, possibly a cross between my aunts (ugly!), and go to the Tavern with my wand and the extendible ears I'd taken off of Fred and George.

By the time the Ministry was clear of the Quibbler, it was late afternoon, and I was exhausted. Which I knew would be no good for my mission tonight, as I'd probably be up all night. I heard my self groan at the thought. My new plan: Go home, jump in the shower, down some coffee. Then start the other plan. Good plans.

I stood, looking in disgust, at my reflection. I had long black hair, which was mixed with grey streaks. I was tall and slim, with a pale complexion. My eyes were black and cold, with dark circles around them. My prominent cheek bones were covered with a blush that made me look even scarier than ever. I wore a knee length, silk black dress, which had dark sequins around the neck line and showed more of my cleavage than I wished it too. My locket was resting just above it, and for some reason, it made me feel confident.

I stepped out into the night, breathing calmly and thinking of the Tavern. Taking out my wand I turned on the spot, and felt myself squeeze through a small tube before landing firmly on my feet. The street that I landed on was unlike any other I'd seen. The houses on either side were simple, and looked near enough identical, but they were also dark and creepy looking.

The Tavern was just in front of me, though it didn't look like a Tavern, it just looked old and run down. I could tell that this wouldn't be a case where it would look better on the inside. I ran quickly towards it, regretting my decision of not wearing a cloak, and pushed the door open. There was a man standing just inside the door who leered at me.

"Who are you?" he grumbled, I didn't have chance to take in my surroundings as his hand found my neck.

"Leila Gasteyer" I choked out. He dropped his hand.

"Pretty name"

"I'm cursed with it" I sneered, in my most patronizing, pure blood voice. His lips curled as I walked past him. Inside the Tavern were lots of tables shoved to the sides, with chairs around them. There was single fireplace at on side of the room and a bar in front of me. To the left of the bar were several doors. I walked confidently up to the bar where a barman was chatting to another man. Several heads turned towards me, mostly men's, and I deeply regretted coming here, but there was no turning back now.

I sat down on a stool and called the barman over.

"Fire whisky" I said, simply. He pulled out a glass and slammed it on the table. Then he grabbed a bottle and unscrewed the lid, before pouring Fire whisky into my glass. I made him fill it to the top. The pub was filled with dodgy sorts, and I could see why my 'source' suspected it. I took a swig of Fire whiskey, as the door behind me opened. I turned to look at who walked in, and found I had my breath sucked away from me. _Hell no!_

Standing just inside the door, was a tall, sexy man who could really only be summed up with one word. _Remus_. I turned quickly towards the bar again, my mind raced frantically. Why was he here? No doubt the Order had sent him. He wouldn't like that I was here, I knew that, but why was I panicking? He wouldn't recognise me. I took a swig of Fire whiskey to calm my nerves. I was on a mission, I needed to focus.

He came up to the side of me, but left a gap in between us and didn't even look at me. He was talking quietly to the barman and I strained my ears so I could listen in.

"No Remus, nothing. I haven't seen hide or hare of them, any of them really. It's been quiet lately" the barman was saying.

"And when was the last time you did see them?" Remus asked.

"About a week and a bit ago, but seriously, you know I wouldn't harbor Deatheaters. This isn't the war Remus, I have no new information" said the barman, gruffly.

"Fine, fine Albert. But if you do happen to see anyone new, let me know. Immediately" said Remus. _Oh, so Deatheaters did come here. At least my source had got that right. I would be filing this place. _

"Several new ones never stay long, don't know who they are. Anyway, what are you doing around here; you know this is a dodgy place for you to be caught in? And it's amazing how I can say that, this being my pub, but I've lived here a long time" said Albert.

"Same reasons as always, on a job for Dumbledore. Meeting someone here soon, try and persuade them. Give me a Fire whiskey would you?" muttered Remus. I peeked at him from under my hair, and then slammed my glass on the table. I felt his eyes turn on me, while the barman shuffled over.

"Another, I presume" he grunted.

"Make it a double" I said, like I was ordering Muggle vodka. The barman gave me another Fire whiskey, and shuffled off.

"I'd be careful if I were you" said the quiet voice of Remus Lupin. "This is not a very good place to get drunk in". I didn't look at him, if I met his eye, I felt like he would be able to see right through me.

"I'll keep that in mind" I said, as coldly as I could, before moving to sit in one of the booths. I needed to get away from him. I sat down carefully, feeling his eyes on me as I did. When I looked back up at him, I saw him conversing with another man that I hadn't noticed had been in the pub. He looked as if he'd been caught in a storm. He looked over at me and gave me an obvious wink. I glared coldly back, as Remus turned to look at me. His eyebrows raised and then his eyes traveled to my neck and back to my face. I squirmed inwardly as I looked down at my neck too, and saw my locket there. The locket he'd gave me. I cursed myself for not removing it, my cover was now blown, and it was obvious he knew who I was.

A mixture of emotions flitted across his face. I felt a pang of fear at the amount of anger that was radiating from him, along with panic and hurt. Looked at him guiltily as the man he had been talking to walked over to me. He leaned over the table, blocking Remus from view.

"Hello darling" he growled. _Growled! _I took a swig of Fire whiskey and thought up a smart response.

"Hi" I squeaked. So much for my smart response…

"Why don't you come with me, and-" but he was cut off by a cough from behind him. He moved aside slightly so we could both see Remus standing there. Fury etched into every line of his face. I didn't know if he was angry with me, or the guy, but it was a little scary to see.

"I think I can take it from here" he said, coolly, to the man who had obviously been about to hit on me. He gestured to me to stand up, and I did so automatically. My head told me to stay, stand my ground, and stick to my cover. But he was Remus, and my heart wouldn't refuse. I seriously wished that I wasn't one of those who wore their hearts on their sleeves, as Severus had so kindly pointed out to me the other day. I stood by him.

"Oh, and what are you going to do with her old man? Read?" he sneered, laughing darkly at his own joke. Remus turned his attention to me; his eyes looked fleetingly pleading, before he shoved his lips on mine. It was an understatement to say I was shocked. His kiss was rough, possessive. Nothing like the Remus I knew, but I couldn't help but love the feel of his lips on mine. Just like New Year's, it was over quickly.

"Answer your question" Remus said, coldly, to the man. The man then stalked off, Remus turned to me. "Outside" he commanded. I practically ran to the door.

Once I was out on the street I ran into the middle of the deserted road, looking for somewhere to conceal myself and wait for him. But there was no need; he came out of the pub minutes after I had. He walked straight towards me and stopped several inches away.

"Why, Dora?" he whispered.

"Why, what?" I said, defiantly.

"Why were you there? Why would you be in a place like that?" I would have asked him the same thing, if I didn't already know.

"I had information about this place, as a possible Death eater meeting place" I said, truthfully, morphing back into my old self. I felt more comfortable as me, but suddenly, a lot less confident.

"Who was the information from?" he asked, harshly.

"I don't know" I whispered.

"And did you tell anyone you were here?" he asked, this time his voice sounded angrier than before.

"No".

"Then why the HELL did you come here Dora? What the fuck do you think you were doing? Skulking around in known Death eater spots, on a source you didn't know, with no-one knowing where you are. No-one to help you if you got into trouble" he shouted, furiously.

"Because I'm an Auror; It's what I'm trained to do, I'm meant to be in dangerous situations" I shouted back, feeling incredibly pissed off with his anger at me. Even if every one of his points made me want to squirm (because they made sense), I didn't appreciate that he was talking to me as if I was a child, as if I couldn't handle myself.

"Yes, but you're not supposed to go looking for danger. You're meant to prevent danger, and always make sure there is someone around to help you. If I hadn't been there tonight..." he trailed off.

"I saw no threat" I said, angrily.

"That's because you were blinded. You didn't see the way those filthy things looked at you! You Stupid Naive Little Girl!" he spat. I stumbled backwards, as if the words had physically hurt me. I felt a pain in my stomach like I'd been punched.

"Stupid Naive Little Girl?" I repeated, quietly, but furiously. How dare he! How dare he call me those things? Not trust me to take care of myself. He seemed to realise his mistake, but it was too late.

"I am none of those things. And if you think I am then you're wrong, and you obviously don't trust me. I'm not stupid, I've never been naive, and I am certainly not a little girl any more. I can see my mistakes, and I can make my choices, and I've made one now". I looked up at him, he looked as though he might interrupt, but I put a hand up to silence him and pulled his locket from my neck. I then proceeded to throw it on the floor.

"If I'm those things, then I'm obviously not your friend. I never thought I'd say this; especially to you. But I hate you, and I never want to see you again". I saw hurt flash across his face, but I could feel the tears welling up inside me, and felt no sympathy for him.

"Nymphadora, please, I'm-" but I cut him off.

"Don't call me that" I hissed, before whirling around and running down the street. I heard him calling me, but I didn't look back. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I ran until I was out of breath, then disapparated to my flat.

I pushed the door open and slammed it shut. Sliding down the door, I felt the tears that I'd been forcing back, cascade silently down my cheeks, leaving old tracks as fresh tears washed over the top of them. I curled into a ball feeling totally alone.

**Oh, poor Tonks! What has nasty old Gurugirl done to you? Yep, so I've upset our beloved Tonks, and hurt Remus, but come on, she reacted perfectly. I would hate someone calling me that! Please review and tell me what you think. Gurugirl xx P.s. Guys, I love you for adding me to your alerts and favourites, but one little review? Please? I offer cyber cookies. Ask anyone, my cyber cookies are legend! Yes, dazzling reviewers who review every chapter, you may have a cookie too. -_- **


	23. Hollow and Empty

**Ok, so I'm sorry this is like quite late, but I've had exams and prep stuff, and on top of that, I've been ill for the last two weeks. I still am but I wrote this anyway, and maybe it'll make sense, but maybe it won't. We'll just have to see. Thanks to my wonderful reviewers. Please do my polls, cause you lot confused me, it was crucial to put it up. If you want your say, and you do *oh yes, you do*, go to my profile and do the poll. Poll closes Saturday 5th December!**

_3 "I'm just a little bit caught in the middle. Life is a maze, and love is a riddle..." /3 _

_**Edited: 15/05/11  
**_

Hollow and Empty

I let the Daily Prophet owl in and immediately wished I hadn't. As soon as it flew through the window, Quill dived like a bullet at it and began pecking him to death. I had to pull them apart, gaining several scratches for doing so. I gave the owl a Knut before pushing it out of the window. Quill cowered under my glare.

"I said you could attack Remus's owl, if you wanted to fight that much. I did NOT say you could attack every living thing that enters my flat, including me" I said, sternly. He looked at me sadly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you, it's not your fault" I was talking to an owl. Great; I'd officially lost it.

It had been awhile since I'd told Remus that I hated him, and already I felt hollow and empty. He'd sent owl after owl, trying to persuade me to see him, to forgive him, but I couldn't. After the seventh letter, I stopped opening them, but I didn't have the heart to throw them out, so I piled them in the corner of the kitchen counter.

My daily routine was becoming a nightmare, not because it was hectic, but because it was boring. I got up, went to work, came home and went to sleep. And that was it. It felt like ever since I'd broken friends with Remus, my life was a drag.

I sighed and opened the Daily Prophet, scanning the front page I chucked it down again. There was probably nothing interesting in there, the evening Prophet was always boring, and I wasn't sure why I decided to keep getting it. I picked up my dinner from the kitchen counter and went to sit on my sofa. I also summoned the paper again, for one last check, but again, nothing. I threw it on the table. The clock on my wall showed 6:30pm. I had an Order meeting in half an hour, and it would be the first time I'd see Remus in - I counted in my head - 6 days, roughly. It seemed like longer, because I hadn't been keeping track of the days. It may have actually been longer. I pondered this thought for a second, and then gave up.

I took a bite out of my tuna roll, which was my very exciting dinner, not, and thought about whether I wanted to go or not. I wanted to prove that I was fine, but even though it pained me to admit it, I was so not fine. My hand reached up to my neck, but the locket that I'd become so fond of, and so used to, was no longer there. That, in itself, made me feel worse. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I was determined that I wouldn't cry anymore.

Abandoning my roll, I walked over to my hall mirror and looked at myself, hating what I saw staring back at me. I'd morphed my hair black, which was a step up from the mousey brown it had turned after several hours of crying, 6 days ago. It usually turned mousey brown, my natural (yuck!) hair colour, when I was upset or frightened or even worse, depressed. Luckily, I didn't think I was that bad just yet. But my hair made me feel vulnerable. It took all my energy and I couldn't morph anything else. My face was deathly white with a slight black tinge under each eye. I had been to sleep, but I'd been working myself to the bone, to take my mind off things, and didn't get enough sleep. With one last sigh I decided I would go to Grimmauld place, and I would attend the meeting. I would ignore Remus, and be fabulous with everyone else. And I will leave straight after the meeting so he wouldn't have chance to corner me. It sounded like a plan!

I grabbed my slip-ons and found my wand, before leaving the flat. Grimmauld place was about a half hour walk from here, so I would walk. And enjoy the spring air… in London… with all those Muggle cars making all that noise. I had second thoughts about getting spring air, but I was going to walk.

The walk was shorter than I realised, and soon I found myself standing at the bottom of Grimmauld place's steps, deliberating whether I should go in. Now that I was here, I was less confident about entering, and seeing him. I sucked in my breath, and before I had any more time to turn and run away, I ran up the steps and through the door, slamming it behind me, which immediately set all the portraits off.

"Hello Tonks" said Sirius, cheerfully, strutting through the door in front of me. He stopped Mrs Black with one look and the rest of the portraits followed her lead. No-one had yet figured how he did it. As he closed the curtains around her, I composed my features into what I hoped was a warm smile, and not look like I really wanted to bolt.

"Hey Sirius, am I late?" I asked, knowing full well that I wasn't.

"No, Dumbledore will be here any minute though" he replied, coming over to me and slinging an arm around my shoulders. "Walk with me" he stated, half dragging me down the hallway. I laughed at him until he whispered six little words in my ear.

"Remus wants to talk to you".

"Well, I don't want to talk to him" I muttered, pushing open the door in front of us. Lots of people were packed into the room as always. Involuntarily, I looked over at the end of the table I usually occupied with Sirius and Remus, to find Remus sitting there. He looked really bad. He looked more battered than before and he was very pale, definitely ill. Then it hit me, full moon was yesterday!_ Oh damn, and now I would feel guilty because I was heading towards the other end of the table, for the chair between Emmeline and Snape._ Another part of me stirred. _So, he shouldn't have said what he did! You have every right to make him suffer. Remember: you're hurting too! _I decided I was in agreement with the second thought.

Luckily no-one could comment on my odd choice of seating, as Dumbledore walked in and greeted us all with a cheery smile, but his eyes weren't twinkling. That was a bad sign. Things at Hogwarts must be getting worse. Dumbledore talked in general about resent events, Snape stood up and told us of more of the Deatheaters plans and Sirius pretended to snore all the way through it. I think he was a bit surprised when I chucked my quill at him to stop. I think the only person more surprised than Sirius was Snape. I wanted to know everything, so I could get stuck in and get my mind off of a certain werewolf, whose eyes had been on me throughout the entire meeting.

Finally the meeting was over, and I breathed a sigh of relief when everyone started moving towards the exit. I followed them quickly, determined to avoid Remus. It worked well; I got into the hall with everyone and began moving towards the door. As I took a step outside, and man's voice called my name.

"Dora" shouted Remus, over the throng of Order members. I quickly walked down the steps, but I knew he was following me. I jumped the last few steps and decided I better get out of there quick. I pulled out my wand and turned to disapparate but something grabbed me. Nevertheless, I span on the spot and tried to shake off the person as I apparated, but it was no use.

I landed outside my apartment block, and pulled my arm out of Remus's grip, though it wasn't easy. I walked determinedly ahead and he followed me.

"Leave me alone" I said, walking up the first flight of concrete stairs.

"Not until you talk to me" he replied. I walked up the second flight of stairs.

"I don't want to talk to you" I said. On the third flight of stairs he caught my wrist, and made me stop. I tried to pull out of his grasp, but my body wouldn't do it. It was like it was rebelling against me. I didn't turn to face him though.

"Dora, hear me out" he whispered. That's when I turned around.

"Don't call me that" I hissed. He flinched slightly, but then guided me backwards until my back was resting against the wall. I didn't even struggle. I really was rebelling, against myself? I didn't even know that was possible, but apparently, it was.

He was inches away from me. His sweet breath tickled my face, and for a moment I couldn't remember why I was so mad at him. Every thought was wiped from my brain for the tiniest moment. But the moment soon passed.

"Here me out" he repeated. I said nothing, but looked over his shoulder stubbornly. "I didn't mean any of those things I said, Dora; none of them. I was just so scared when I saw you in that place, that I completely lost it. And then I had a go at you, when really I should have been relieved. I just wanted you to be safe, but I let my fear turn to anger and" he paused and put his hand on my cheek, and pulled my face down so my eyes were fully connected with his, "I never meant to hurt you, and I trust do your judgement. This full moon I beat myself up bad, because the wolf could sense that I was upset, and it acted upon it" he paused for a second, taking a breath. "I miss you" he whispered.

Every ounce of dislike, not hate, dislike towards him vanished, and the love for him filled me up again. It was a brilliant yet frightening feeling at the same time, and I knew I wouldn't be able to stay mad at him. He obviously cared about me, my heart skipped at the thought. I didn't know what to say, so I did the thing I hadn't done in six days (roughly). I cried. I put my head down, bit my lip and let a tear roll from my eye and trace its way down my cheek. His hand touched my chin and pushed my head softly up. He looked nervously at me, and put his arms around my waist, silently gesturing that he wanted to comfort me. I threw myself into his arms without a second thought and held him tightly to me.

He held me tighter back, and he stroked my hair with one of his hands as I rested my head on his shoulder. _'I'm sorry Dora. I'm sorry' _he kept whispering.

"I know Remus" Just as I whispered back, the Muggle lights in the stairwell flickered several times. We pulled apart slightly, so we could both look at the light above our heads. I'd never known it to flicker before. Maybe we were about to have one of those Muggle power cuts? Just as I thought it, all the lights went off and everything went dark. I could see the outline of Remus's body but nothing more. I clung to him, so that he wouldn't wander off and leave me. To add to the darkness, there were no windows, which made it worse.

"Remus" I whispered, nervously.

"Wands out, Dora" he whispered back. We both took out our wands and cast the _'Lumos'._ The stairs around us lit up and we could see everything. I didn't see anything suspicious, or feel like anything was different, so I presumed it was a power cut. We both walked carefully up the stairs; his arm was around my waist, holding me so close to him. We could have passed for Siamese twins.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" he asked, as we continued to walk up the stairs.

"Yes, I guess it does. But you really did hurt my feelings" I whispered, still slightly frightened. Even with wand light, it was creepily dark.

"I didn't mean too. I really am sorry for overreacting" he whispered back.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too".

"What for?" he asked, sounding genuinely shocked.

"I overreacted just a tad, and I threw your necklace" I sighed, bowing my head.

"You didn't overreact, Dora" he said, softly. I like the way he said my name. I was beginning to notice that he was the only one who could get away with calling me that, at the moment. "And I found _your _necklace". He pulled out the locket from his pocket and showed me. I hadn't realised that we'd reached my flat, but I nearly bumped into the door. Luckily, I noticed in time.

"I wanted to give it back to you" he whispered. "It belongs to you, and no matter what happens I want you to keep it" he said, sincerely. I couldn't help but smile as I opened my flat door and gestured him in.

"Thank you" I said, as he shut the door and flicked the light switch. Nothing happened. "Power cut" we said at the same time. I laughed lightly. He waved his wand and candles appeared out of nowhere and floated around the rooms.

"Turn around" he whispered. I sent a questioning gaze his way, and he faintly smiled reassuringly to me. I did what he said, and felt the locket rest against my neck as he fastened it up behind me, moving my hair as he did. He ran his fingers across the back of my neck, as he let the lockets chain rest there, and made me shiver.

"Thanks" I whispered.

"No problem" he said, walking away from me and sitting down on the sofa. He smiled at me happily, before picking up the Prophet and opening it. As he sat reading the Prophet, I couldn't help but notice how confusing he was. One minute he was really intimate with me, he'd kissed me twice now, but they hadn't meant anything more than friendship to him. And then the next minute, he acted like nothing ever happened between us and that we were just good mates. Well, in his eyes we were, but he sometimes acted as if, as if, he wanted more. Men were confusing at the best of times, but Remus was on a whole other level.

I ran my hand through my hair and immediately decided to morph it a different colour. Black was boring and made me look ill. I screwed up my face and turned my hair spiky pink. Perfect. I went to sit on the couch as the lights flickered back on, but there was a knock at the door. I froze and Remus looked up from the paper. I turned to the door and drew my wand cautiously from my jean pocket.

"Tonks, are you there? Please open up" came Layla's slightly distressed voice from the other side of the door. She knocked again "It's important".

I ran to the door and flung it open, just as Remus stood up. Layla stood there, her face soaked in tears, her blonde hair lank.

"What's the matter Layla? What's wrong?" I asked, frantically, not liking the pained look on her face.

"It's Matt" she said, taking a shuddering breath. "He's been attacked". My eyes bugged out, as the world span around me.

It only took me several seconds to realise I was on the floor. Two gentle, masculine arms were wrapped around me. Remus's arms came under my armpits and his hands clasped on my tummy as he brought me gently back to my feet. I felt myself lean against him for support.

"Are you ok?" Layla asked, her expression even more worried than it had been a second ago.

"Never mind me. What about Matt? Layla, what happened?" I asked, desperately.

"I don't know much; I came out of the Ministry and heard two wizards talking about it. When I went up to the Auror 'offices' he wasn't there, and then Mr Shacklebolt told me he was at St. Mungos. I apparated straight here, because I couldn't find you in your 'office'. I can't go alone, and I think you should come with me. If you can, it's just I'm a bit afraid. I don't what state he's in" she babbled, her lips trembling.

"Don't worry Layla, we'll come with you. Just let me find a cloak" I said, quickly, stepping around Remus looking for my cloak.

"_We?_" Remus asked, possibly watching me

"Yes Wolfie, you're coming with me" I said, though my voice was slightly muffled by the sofa cushion as I reached down the back, and brought out a dusty cloak. Remus pointed his wand at it and cleared the dust.

"Wolfie?" he asked, smirking. I shrugged defensively, inwardly cringing. I could not believe it'd said that out loud.

"It just popped into my head, and I had to say it. And besides, if I'm forgiving you, I'm calling you Wolfie".

"Ok, then. Fair enough" he said, slipping on his shoes that were by the couch.

"Can we go?" asked Layla, urgently. I grabbed Remus's hand and walked over to her, and we all exited the flat. Disapparating straight from my landing, we landed in the St. Mungos reception area. Both Layla and I got to the desk at the same time, but she did the asking.

"Were looking for Mr Dobbins" she said, tearfully. The receptionist looked up, then down at some papers and started shuffling them.

"Yes, he's on floor 4, pericolose ward. He's in one of the private rooms, I believe. You can go up" she said, before turning back to her papers. We went down the corridors, and followed the signs to the floor Matthew was on. My stomach twisted in worry, why a private room? He wasn't... no, he couldn't be. I refused to think that. Layla was walking in front of me, her shoulders slumped and her footsteps clumsy. Remus was walking alongside me, obviously feeling a bit awkward, but he was silent, and I didn't want to ask him outright if he felt awkward. I had dragged him here. It felt like the night Arthur had been attacked, all over again. Heart pounding, worry mounting, tears stinging your eyes. But I hoped that, like Arthur, he would be ok.

When we got to Matthew's room, Layla hesitated in opening the door, but I put my hand comfortingly on her shoulder, and she opened the door. When we went in there was one healer with a clip board, checking stuff around a bed. And in the bed, lay Matt. His breathing was steady, but the marks on his body made the vision anything but peaceful. Of course, I'd seen worse marks, mainly on Remus, but they were still bad. Layla gasped, as we filed into the room. The healer looked up.

"Are you his family?" she asked.

"We are close friends, and Layla is his partner" Remus said, smiling warmly at the healer. He was of course lying about the partner bit, I think. She looked him up and down, and I felt jealousy bubble up inside me.

"What happened?" I asked, snappily at the woman. Layla was standing by Matthew, gazing down at him with a tearful expression.

"We're not entirely sure, but we believe a bad combination of spells caused the damage. _Expluso_ would definitely explain a certain mark on the right side of his chest. We've managed to stop the bleeding, for now, but there was a lot of internal damage. The next 24 hours will be crucial, and my best advice would be to prepare yourself for the worst" she finished. Layla let out a dry sob. I went and put my arm around her.

"Thank you" Remus said, kindly, to the healer. The healer flashed him a smile, and exited the room. I ignored my jealousy, and focused on Layla.

"Come on, sit down. There we go. Now" I said, "tell him". Layla looked at me funny.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Layla, he may not wake up" she sobbed a bit harder. "So you need to tell him how you feel. I read that when someone's unconscious they can sometimes hear you. I don't know if it'll work but, I think, maybe you should". She nodded. I don't know what I was trying to say, but she would regret not telling him how she felt, especially if he didn't make it. The thought didn't make me feel any better.

"I should, shouldn't I?" she asked, though the question was rhetorical. "Should have done it years ago really. I'm so stupid, I always wait too long"

"You're not stupid" I whispered. "Do you want us to wait outside?" I asked, and she nodded.

"Wait, Tonks" she said, quickly. Remus had his hand on the door handle, and I was just behind him. "Would you do the same? In my position, if it was him, would you tell him how you felt?" she asked, looking me directly in the eye. As she said _him_, her eyes never travelled from my face. She was clever. Remus wouldn't know who she was talking about.

"I would" I whispered, turning back to Remus, who opened the door for me. I walked out and sank into a chair on the left side of the door. Remus came and sat next to me. I snuggled up to him, and he put his arm around me.

"You're really sweet, you know that?" he said.

"I'm not, I'm just smart".

"You're both" he whispered. "I take it, from that exchange, that Layla has feelings outside the realms of friendship, for Matthew?"

"Yes" I answered, simply. I wrapped my arms around Remus's neck, and clung to him. "Remus, what if Matthew doesn't..." I couldn't finish my sentence.

"Shh, try not to think about it. Come here" he said, pulling me onto his lap. I wrapped myself tightly around him, our bodies were pressed together. He cradled me as I laced my hands in his hair and buried my face in his neck.

"Shall we talk about something else?" he asked. I nodded. "Ok, can I ask you something?" I looked up at him, and nodded.

"Who was she on about? For you? Do you love him also?" he asked. I pulled away from him a bit.

"No, I don't love him. He's an awesome friend, but that's all" I said, quickly. I avoided the other two questions.

"But you do love someone?" he pressed. I got off his lap and stood in front of him. I couldn't look him in the eye.

"No, Layla was talking hypothetically. I don't know why you care anyway" I snapped, turning away from him. I didn't want to answer these questions, not now.

"I'm sorry for asking, it wasn't my place. And for the record, I do care, Dora, very much" he said, quietly. I turned around to see him on his feet. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I sank into his embrace.

"I don't want him to die, Remus. I want him to live" I choked.

"I know you don't Dora, but sometimes, we can't always have what we want" he said, his voice was bitter. I clung to him, ignoring the fact that there was probably deeper meaning in what he'd just said. I needed to be strong for Matt and Layla now. Sometimes it felt like my life would never be simple.

**And I think I'll stop there. I didn't want to drag out Tonks being mad at Remus because I have plans. Next chapter, the morning after, how will Matt be? And what do we reckon is the deeper meaning behind Remus's words. As you know, I haven't been well, so if this isn't up to my usual standards, then I apologise profusely. Please review, even if it's a couple of words. I really want to know what you think. Before anyone asks why I made it a power cut instead of, let's say, a Dementor, the reason is that I think a lot happened to her this night, and I don't think a Dementor would have helped. Again, review please :) x**


	24. A Capable Auror? High Praise Indeed

**Okay, so I've had a crazy week, and therefore, wrote the next chapter to distract myself. My week went something like this... **_**Monday: Science exam. Flunked. "No Darryl. Me telling you, you can't sing high school musical in tune, is not a challenge!" Bri should know about this. Tuesday: Drama club. Director's issues. "Shut up, Darryl!" Wednesday: Science exam. Flunked again. "Pulling my hair is not nice!" "No Abbie, I don't hate you, no I don't think you're a slut...just a rubber chicken". Thursday: "No, I don't want to be on prom committee" "No, I don't want to be on the after party prom committee" Maths tutoring, yay! "Shut up, Darryl. Seriously, I'll punch you!" Friday: "I learnt this 3 times over". "Let me write in peace, grrr" Loved up couples, yuck! Depresses me, for I am single. "You gave me a dead arm".**_

**So yeah, this is my totally retarded week, as usual *sigh*. And probably my most pointless author's notes ever, but hey, never mind. Thanks to all my reviewers, please do review because it makes my day. On with the chapter... P.s. Longest chapter I've written so far, I think****.**

**Dis: I'm not J. K. Rowling**

_**Edited: 15/05/11  
**_

A Capable Auror? High Praise Indeed

In the morning, I could be found curled up on a chair at Matt's bedside. Layla was curled up at the end of his bed, sleeping soundlessly. Remus had gone back to Grimmauld place last night. I looked sleepily at Matthew and saw that he was still breathing, always good sign. My back, shoulders and neck were incredibly stiff from the uncomfortable sleeping position I'd been in. I had work in… I looked at my watch… 15 minutes. I groaned loudly, not wanting to leave Matt, but he had Layla, he would be fine.

I soon found myself sleepily walking up the corridor of St. Mungos, heading towards the exit. My destination was home, I needed a good shower and change of clothes, and perhaps I could find some breakfast. The witch on the desk didn't even look up when I walked past, which I was glad about, I didn't have time to socialise with people I didn't know. I stifled a yawn behind my hand as I walked out onto the Muggle Street. Nobody was about, which was unusual, because in London, it was always busy. I guessed I should have been grateful, I thought as I stifled another yawn and fumbled while getting my wand out of my pocket. I could disapparate right here; no-one would see me.

Disapparating first thing in the morning was the worst time to disapparate in my opinion. Along with feeling tired, you get the un-mistakable wave of nausea and whereas your body was asleep before, it is now asleep and in pain from you not being able to keep your balance, and toppling over. Which I promptly did as my legs touched the floor outside my flat.

My thoughts were jumbled. Last night's events had really thrown me. Everything with Remus, and then Layla showing up, and Matt getting attacked. I groaned as I opened my flat door, and stumbled over the mat as I shut the door again. Quill instantly flew over to me with a letter in his beak, but I ignored him and made my way to the bathroom. I looked in the bathroom mirror at my reflection and cringed. My hair was still spiky pink, but my eyes were dark brown, almost black. They always did that when I was stressed, sure I could morph them back to blue, but even though I had control over my morphing it sometimes had a mind of its own.

I groaned again, it felt like I had a hangover, the thoughts buzzing through my head were all confused and scrambled. I took off my old robes and quickly turned on the shower. At first it was cold, which woke me up as it blasted me in the face, but it eventually got warmer.

After taking a shower and finding some clean clothes, I searched the kitchen for coffee while Quill hooted from behind me. I didn't want to open the letter attached to his leg, because it would no doubt be more bad news. I was mildly curious about where the letter came from, because Quill had never delivered me a message before. Obviously, he'd gone to someone who gave him the letter, but, why?

He hooted again as I poured some coffee into a mug. "Oh, shut up!" I mumbled. Quill flew off into the living room, and I felt instantly sad. It wasn't his fault my friend got attacked, or that I was so head over heels for Remus that it frustrated me. A lynx pranced gracefully into my kitchen as I took a sip of coffee. I recognised it immediately as Kingsley's. I always wondered why it was a Lynx. I'd have to ask him.

_"Scrimgeour needs to see you. Now!" _said the Lynx in Kingsley's deep voice. Scrimgeour? Maybe it was about Matthew. I had questions, he had answers, and I really wanted to get the person who cursed Matt so bad that he was in hospital. Putting my coffee back on the side, I went to walk out of my flat, but Quill hooted again, and made me feel guilty. I walked over to him and took the letter, unravelling it and reading it while Quill nipped my finger in what I presumed was an affectionate manner. The letter was from my mum.

_Dear Nymphadora,_

_It has been several months since we spoke last and I would like some insight into my only daughter's life. We have missed you greatly, and wish you would write once in a while to insure us that you are well. Love, Mum and Dad._

I sighed and put the letter down, deciding to write a reply latter. At the moment I had bigger things to deal with, like why Scrimgeour needed to see me. I walked out of my flat and pulled out my wand from my robe pocket, and disapparated straight to the Ministry entrance.

The Ministry was no busier than always, everything carried on as normal while my friend lay in hospital. I made my way carefully to my boss's office, waving to several familiar faces as I passed them, and tried to walk with confidence though really I was freaking out. I knocked on Scrimgeour's door twice, and opened it to find, an empty room.

Why wasn't he here, if I was summoned here? It didn't make sense. I walked into the office and closed the door behind me with a snap. His office was very boring; it had bookshelf, a desk and a window. There were two chairs in the room, one each side of the desk and both were green. The feel of the office was Slytherin, though I wasn't quite sure which house he'd been in, and I wasn't about to ask.

I sat down on the chair that I would most likely be asked to sit in, if Scrimgeour was here. I would wait for him and see what he wanted, and have my questions answered and not get into a childish huff and almost get myself fired again. I'd come close to getting fired last year, but luckily Kingsley had squared it out for me.

After several minutes I was bored, and tapped my fingers impatiently on his desk. And then I noticed a piece of parchment on the desk. Most would see it as unsuspicious in every possible way, but I was curious. Being an Auror gave you the training to notice things that others wouldn't. Hesitantly, I took the piece of parchment in my hands and pulled it towards me so I could read it.

_Dear RS, we have found valuable the information on the Minister, as requested. I have no doubt you will use the information accordingly, and for the greater use of the wizarding community. And for those who doubt or question, remember that the ends justify the means__._

I stifled a gasp and put the parchment hastily back, before running a hand through my hair. Was Scrimgeour against Fudge? 'RS' obviously was initials for my boss, and it was unsigned. Why not sign your name, if you had nothing to hide? 'Ends justify the means'. That was so Slytherin. Scrimgeour would be better I suppose, but in a way, he was as bad as Fudge. As the door handle clicked, I decided to forget I'd ever read the note, and deal with the matter at hand.

Scrimgeour walked into the office, and stopped just as he saw me. I took in his appearance, he looked like a badly groomed lion who thought of himself as the alpha male but was no match for the lionesses. I tried not to snigger at the comparison I'd just made. I wasn't more powerful than Scrimgeour, but I also wasn't as ruthless, and in a way, I prided myself on that.

"Miss Tonks" he said, inclining his head and walking to his chair, as the office door snapped shut behind him.

"Sir" I said, confidently. He sat across from me, eyeing me closely for a minute, before speaking.

"Your partner, Mr Matthew Dobbins, was been taken into St. Mungos last night. Were you aware of this?" he asked.

"Yes sir. A Ministry employee came and told me late last night" I answered.

"The causes of his injuries are unknown so far, though I believe he was hurt during an Auror assignment. As his partner, I expect you to investigate where he was, what he was doing, find evidence on what might have caused his injuries and tie up all loose ends; meaning the capture of those who caused his injuries. Also, you must not speak to the press about this business, we cannot have the public worrying about an Auror's duty can we, Miss Tonks?" he asked. Did he just say it was Matt's duty to get injured? It certainly seemed that way.

"I don't understand sir. When you say 'an Auror's duty' what exactly does that mean?"

"An Auror is trained for danger, and one who puts himself in danger must be prepared that they may be injured during the course of their duty" his smile was like a predator who had outsmarted it's pray. I resisted the urge to gulp.

"Ok, then sir. I'll need to know what assignment he was on, where the assignment was based, and why he was there on his own" I said, coolly.

"He wasn't on his own, Dawlish was with him" Scrimgeour replied, equally as coolly.

"Then why isn't Dawlish in Mungos too?" I asked, before hastily adding, "of course I don't want Dawlish in St. Mungos, I was merely asking..."

"I know what you were asking, Miss Tonks" he said. "Dawlish was the one who got Mr Dobbins to St. Mungos. Dawlish himself was very modest about it all, and is currently with the Minister. I believe the Minister asked for his help today". There was an edge of bitterness in his voice. He pulled out a piece of parchment and quill from nowhere and hastily scribbled down the information I needed to know.

"Here is the information you need, I want your report by the end of the day" he said, curtly. He pointed his wand towards the door that opened quickly, but carefully. I took that as my cue to leave. Scrimgeour was intimidating and I didn't want to stay longer than need be.

As I walked out of the office, I looked down at the parchment in my hands. Matthew had been on an assignment in Knock turn alley, near Borgin and Burkes. He'd been searching for a witch who had been charming wizards out of there possessions. Obviously a fight had broken out as the witch tried to escape capture, and Matthew had been hit. My guess was that the witch had escaped. I shuddered at the thought of going to Knock turn alley to find her, but I had to do it, and make sure I had my wand in my hand at all times. And I'm talking death grip on it.

Disapparating to Diagon alley was tricky, because people were always skulking about, but luckily I landed on no-one. The description of the witch was typical, she was a cross between a hag and a witch, who smelt like a troll and cursed like a Death eater. Though of course, they put dark wizard, but to me they were all the same thing.

I morphed my features into those of an old hag, and skulked like so many others, down the alley. It was unnaturally cold down here, especially since it was a sunny spring morning, but Diagon alley was never light. As I reached Borgin and Burkes, I noticed the closed sign with a frown, before moving to the next building, which was open. It would be no good asking anyone whether they'd seen what happened, everyone down here denied acknowledgement of each other, the exception of course, was due to business. But I pushed the door open anyway, deciding to see if she was in here. If she had been spotted near Borgin and Burkes, there was a good chance.

Stepping inside the shop, I weaved my way through the dark shelves, only seeing by the faintest glimmer of light which was coming from the front of the store. I turned to look behind me, and walked slowly backwards, my wand held tight in my hand. 'Lumos' I whispered, before turning back around and smacking into someone. I almost fell over, but didn't and immediately jumped back. That someone hissed at me. I pointed my wand into their face, and I could see them clearly. It was her.

"Name?" I said, coolly, in a sneer Snape would have been proud of.

"None of your business" said the hag/witch/thing.

I pulled out my Auror badge. "I think it is".

He eyes widened narrowed and a mixture of things happened at once. Her hand whipped inside her robes for her wand, I moved towards her, stumbled on my robe, and as she pulled her wand out at me I fell and grabbed the shelf. It then toppled over onto both of us, sending her wand flying. I managed to push the shelf off of me and stand myself up. She was still trapped under the shelf and many heavy objects. The owner hadn't even come over. Instead of helping her out, I went and found her wand and pocketed it. It would most likely have the charm she used that put Matt in Hospital.

"Incarcerous" I muttered, and ropes shot out of my wand and around the hag. I was mildly curious as to why Matt and Dawlish had had such a hard time with her, and realised that I had had the element of surprise on my side. And a little clumsiness, my new secret weapon. Stealth and tracking eat your heart out.

As I bent over to pull her off the floor, I felt a sting in my shoulders. I'd felt something hit me as I went down, and of course, the shelf had fell on me too. I brushed it off as just being sore from the fall, and pulled the hag...witch, err...thing to her feet.

"You're under arrest for the attack of two Aurors, and the near death of one. Anything you say will be ripped up and shoved down your throat" I said, coldly. That wasn't the usual code of conduct, but it was the 'you nearly killed my mate and I'm going to throw the book at you, Tonks code of conduct'. Or something along those lines.

I took her straight to the Ministry and into one of the interview rooms. She refused to speak, even when Proudfoot came in to help. But I cast Prior Incantato on the wand and went far enough back to find the spell used on Matt. I also found that the imperious curse had been used several times before. Proudfoot informed me her stretch in Azkaban if found guilty, which was likely, was up to ten years. I felt happy at this, and also thought that you should always send a woman if you wanted a job done properly. Of course, I kept that thought to myself.

Along with the paperwork came the back pain. Whatever hit me had caused the pain in my shoulders to spread to my back, but I ignored it as much as I could reassuring myself that it was probably nothing. I had forms to fill, and then I would have to see Matt. St. Mungos had already been informed of the curse used, and so I while they treated him; I filled out paperwork on it. Just then there was a knock on my cubicle door. Proudfoot stuck his head round the cubicle.

"Tonks, I need your help. A man has just informed us that, he's been hearing his neighbours Mr and Mrs Turblet, well, arguing, in a sense. I don't know what we're going to find. The neighbour says the man is a drunk, and also, he has previous of assault. His wife is the timid sort, wouldn't say boo to a goose, apparently. I might need a woman's touch on this one".

"Why me?" I asked, surprised.

"Because you are a capable Auror, and I need help. Do you want the job or not?" he asked.

"I'm coming" I said, quickly. We disapparated to a nice estate, a couple of kids were playing on bikes across the road, and the house's on the street were small but smart. Proudfoot made his way towards a house on the far corner, and I hastened to follow him. He was already knocking on the door when I caught up. The door opened to reveal a man's head. He had dark sunken eyes and scraggly brown hair and when he spoke I could smell alcohol on his breath.

"Yes?"

"Hello, I'm Auror Proudfoot, and this is Auror Tonks. We are hear following up a, noise, complaint. Is it alright if we come in and ask you a few questions?" Proudfoot asked, carefully.

"I suppose so" the man said, opening the door wide enough for us to step through. After shutting the door behind us, he led us into the front room.

"What's this about then?" he asked.

"It has been reported that there is a lot of noise coming from your house. Tell me, do you and your wife argue a lot?" asked Proudfoot, his tone of voice was calculating.

"We have our ups and downs, like any couple. We can't get on all the time can we?" he asked back, slightly nervously. I decided to play good Auror.

"Of course not; it's like with any relationship, you're going to argue. But it helps clear the air doesn't it?"

"Exactly" he agreed, nodding enthusiastically, and somewhat nervously.

"So, where is your wife sir?" I asked, politely. Proudfoot left the room, and Mr Turblet's eyes followed him nervously.

"Out" he replied. "Where's he going?"

"Oh, just looking around the house. Routine check, you understand. We're just doing our job. Anyway," I coughed. "When would you say you and your wife last have a disagreement?" I asked, sitting down as he sat in a chair opposite the sofa I was on.

"About a week ago, I guess" he said, and then began to fidget. "About families, you know." His eyes wouldn't meet mine.

"I do. So..."

"Tonks, can you come in here please" called Proudfoot, calmly. I smiled at the bloke opposite me and went out into the hall, and followed it to the kitchen. I was vaguely aware of the man following behind me. As I got to the kitchen, Proudfoot lifted up the cloth on the table, so I could see underneath. A woman in her twenties was sitting under the table, her face and arms covered in bruises, and shaking like a leaf. This was obviously his wife. The bloke behind me bolted for the door, and I gave chase. Running back through the house, I chased him past the front gate and out onto the street. He ran down the path but I followed him and after I'd trip jinxed him, I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, and yanked him back to his feet. Proudfoot came up just behind me.

"I'm arresting you for abuse" said Proudfoot, reading him his rights. "Tonks go back and look after Mrs Turblet". I did as ordered. As I walked into the kitchen, I saw the woman standing, or more leaning, against the table.

"Are you ok?" I asked, before mentally slapping myself. Of course she wasn't ok.

"I'm fine. It's not his fault. I deserved it, he only gave me what I deserved" she whimpered.

"Nobody deserves that, you don't deserve that" I said, putting an arm around her. She whimpered and cringed as if she thought I was going to hurt her. The thought made me sick. What had this man done to her? "Come on; let's get you out of here".

With the wife claiming she deserved it and the man claiming she was just clumsy and he had nothing to do with it, our investigation was up in the air. After hours of questioning, we tried a different tactic. I morphed into a smart, posh man, which matched my no nonsense attitude and cunning. My mission was to get a confession, and because the man didn't know it was me, I could start the whole thing over.

"So, your wife… is she a talker, always nagging you? Telling you what you can and can't do?" I asked. He stayed silent.

"Yes, I know what it's like. My wife gives me agro 24/7. Sometimes you just need to find a way to shut her up. Just so you can think for five minutes" I said, casually. Again he said nothing. "You do everything for her, yet she complains. It's frustrating".

"It is" he replied.

"Sometimes she just deserves to be shown whose boss".

"That's right".

"She deserves that beating. She needs to be taught a lesson".

"Exactly"

"She deserved those curses you threw at her. The bird needs to shut up, give a man some space".

"Right" he said, maliciously. "She needs it; it's for her own good". He pounded his fist on the table. I took that for a confession, not believing how easy that was. I guess with the right image, anything is possible. I morphed back into myself as Proudfoot came back into the room. The man looked wide eyed in horror at me.

"Scum" I spat. Proudfoot put his hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you Auror Tonks, you've been a great help today. You may leave early" he said, kindly. I felt furious at the bastard. I wanted to rip him apart, and maybe Proudfoot sensed this too. I couldn't believe someone would do that.

"What about the paperwork?" I asked, glaring at the man.

"I can deal with it. You got a confession. You worked hard today. Go home and rest" he said, calmly. I was reluctant to leave, but knew better than to argue when I'd been dismissed. I walked silently out of the interview room but the man called me back. I stopped still but didn't turn to face him.

"Freaks like you, you got it coming. You wait" he said, darkly. I walked out of the room, ignoring him. I didn't want to let on that those words had affected me more than I cared to admit.

At the exit in the Atrium, I looked up at the darkening sky. I needed someone right now, I knew I should probably go see Matt, but he had Layla. And I could see him in the morning. My hand reached up to my locket. I needed him now; I needed his arms around me and his quiet whisper that everything was going to be ok. I needed to feel safe, because at the moment I felt like I was walking on a high wire, with no safety net, and no wand. At this moment, I felt like he was the only one who could stop me from falling, and that thought scared me just as much.

Making my way to Grimmauld Place was a blur. I couldn't really remember how I got there, just that I was now standing in front of it. I climbed the steps, and tapped the door knocker with my wand. The door swung open and I stepped through and shut it behind me. The hall was a dark and gloomy as ever, even when the lamps came on. I headed towards the drawing room. If Remus was here, he was probably in the drawing room reading. I poked my head around the door, and just as I'd predicted, Remus was sitting on the small sofa with his head in a book. I came into the room and he looked up at me, as though he'd sensed me. He smiled softly at me. I looked at his scarred face and kind eyes, and bit my lip. I stood there, biting my lip to stop my eyes watering. I pleaded silently for him to hold me. My plea was answered. He jumped off his chair, discarded the book and wrapped his arms around me.

"Shh, Nymphadora. What happened, what's wrong?" he asked, holding me tighter to him.

"Remus" I whispered back. And that was it. I couldn't say any more. I just whimpered his name. His hands pressed tighter on my back, and I gasped in sudden pain. He pulled back from me immediately.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, quickly.

"No, my back's been hurting all day" I said, pulling away from him. He sank back into the cushions, trying to find his discarded book.

"Has anything fallen on it today, or anything like that?" he asked, picking up his book.

"A shelf" I replied simply. I saw him fighting a smile. "Can you take a look at it?" I asked. He nodded. I took a deep breath, grabbed the bottom corners of my t-shirt with the opposite hands and pulled my top off over my head. I could feel my cheeks heating, and they did even more so when I saw his face.

"Umm, Remus?" I said. "I'm up here". His head snapped up to my eyes, obviously embarrassed of where he'd been staring. He smiled apologetically, and stood up as I turned my back towards him. His hand touched the top of my back and I cringed away.

"You're pretty badly bruised at the top" he said, and then began tracing his hands down my back. "You also have some smaller bruises scattered around" he whispered, his hands still gliding down my back. I shivered. But it wasn't because I was cold.

"Sorry, are my hands cold?" he asked, I shook my head. "Well, it just needs a simple healing spell" he said.

"Can you do it for me?" I asked.

"Sure" he said. I looked into the fire, he was whispering soft incantations behind me, and every so often my back would twinge were the spell was working. He was a gentleman of course, and maybe I should have felt more embarrassed but I was content at the moment. I tried not to giggle as the memory of Remus staring came to mind. I didn't even know I had anything worth staring at. His hand brushed my back.

"There. Healed" he said, simply. I turned round to face him without realising how close he was behind me. We nearly bumped heads. Both of us took a small step back and laughed nervously. "Umm, your back is still a bit red. I can get some cream for it, if you'd like? Sirius has some" he said.

"Yeah, ok. Where is Sirius anyway?" I asked.

"Tending to Buckbeak. I'll be right back" he said, before leaving the room. I sat on the sofa where he'd been sitting previously. I felt so relaxed when I was with Remus, even when I was like this. I looked down at myself. My purple lacy bra had seemed like a good idea this morning. I wrapped my arms around myself. It was quite chilly in here. Remus entered the room again, Sirius just behind him.

"Nice bra cousin" he said, cheekily. I suddenly felt incredibly awkward.

"Thanks" I muttered, as Remus sat next to me. I turned my back to him as he opened a tub of cream. He sat behind me, and began massaging the cream into my skin. I bit my lip, it was all I could do to stop myself moaning or sighing. I tried not lean back into his touch. I really, really wanted to, but of course, I wouldn't. Especially since Sirius had just sat in the armchair next to the sofa, and was watching me intently. I stuck my tongue out at him, just as Remus finished.

"Thanks Remus" I whispered. He passed me my top, and I hastily pulled it over my head. As Remus turned round to sit properly on the sofa, I turned too and lent against him. I let my head drop onto his shoulder.

"Comfy?" he asked, his tone of voice was amused.

"Yes, thank you" I said, as I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders. I closed my eyes, feeling that I could fall asleep here, totally content. If it wasn't for Sirius, that is.

"So Tonks, how did you get the marks?" Sirius asked, curiously. I opened my eyes again and looked at him; the gleam in his eye told me he knew I had enjoyed Remus massaging the cream into my back. And possibly, he knew other things... I was about to answer when a cat Patronus came into the room. I recognised it as McGonagall's.

The cat opened its mouth. _"Professor Dumbledore has been forced to leave Hogwarts, after being visited by Fudge. He escaped, but we do not yet no where he has gone. Alastor Moody will lead the Order until he gets back. Sirius, do not leave Grimmauld place. Minerva". _The cat disappeared.

"Oh no" I squeaked.

"He'll be fine" said Remus.

"Who's looking after Harry?" asked Sirius, standing up. Remus pushed me gently off him and pushed Sirius back into his chair. I missed Remus's body against mine. I resisted pouting. Just then he sat back and out his arm out again indicating that I could lean on him again, and I did so happily.

"His friends, and the teachers who are loyal to Dumbledore, will look after Harry" answered Remus, sternly.

"Oh god" I breathed, reality hitting. "Minerva won't be allowed to be Headmistress, not if the Ministry have anything to do with it. And they do".

"Don't say it" Remus said, looking more scared than I'd seen him. The thought of those kids being left to the mercy of the Ministry, was admittedly, a horrible one.

"Fudge will appoint Umbridge as headmistress, I'm sure of it" I said, gravely.

"No!" growled Sirius and Remus at the same time, but not at me. At the thought of Umbridge being head. Remus rose suddenly, and I nearly fell because of it.

"I'm going to see Severus". I jumped up and grabbed Remus's hand and pulled him back from the door which he was about to go through.

"Don't go. It'll cause more trouble. And Umbridge hates you, Remus" I said, reasonably. He looked at me with wide eyes, my words were quite harsh. I sent him an apologetic look.

"Yeah mate, if I'm staying here, so are you" said Sirius. Remus sighed heavily as Sirius came over.

"Does anyone else need a drink?" he said, smiling grimly. Sirius practically bounded to the kitchen. As me and Remus followed him, I slipped my hand into Remus's.

"It'll be ok, you know" I whispered. He squeezed my hand gently in reply, before walking off after Sirius. I followed slowly behind.

**Please please review, I love you guys! Gurugirl x :D**


	25. Spitting Spaghetti

**You know when you have one of those happy days, where everything may not go right but it turns out great anyway? Yep, I had one of those days. Four lessons of Art! R.E. was fun and a right laugh due to the boys and my mate Tash. Then****,**** an English lesson of reading and writing my story. We had a sub, whoop! Anyway enough rambling, this is chapter 25. I wasn't sure if I was gunna put it in, but I decided I would, cuz it fits with my plans. So on with chapter 25. P.s. I loved reviews, and would love more. Cheers :) **

_**Edited: 15/05/11  
**_

Spitting Spaghetti 

Easter had just passed. I never really celebrated Easter, it was just a week off at school (when I used to be at school), where you got chocolate eggs. Of course, I'd woken up that morning to find an owl tapping at my window with a small basket of eggs for me. From the Weasley's, Sirius, Remus and one from Mad-eye which I was most shocked about. I was touched that they'd send me this, and so felt a little bit guilty about not getting them any in return. Ginny had written to me once, telling me how things were going in her 'secret code'. I had to admit, she was rather good at it.

I had a meeting tonight, and then I would go on guard duty after wards till early in the morning, grab a few hours kip then go to work. I wasn't about to admit it, but all the late nights combined with the early mornings were starting to take the toll. As I sat at my desk, I could feel my eyes drooping. My stomach was cramping, and I kept flushing hot, then the temperature would drop and I'd be freezing. My head span, and I could barely concentrate. Deep down I knew I should be resting, and that I was probably ill, but I would not admit defeat. Stuff being ill, I was going to go around like normal.

"Oh, you don't look so good" said a voice from the doorway. I looked up and saw Matt standing there. He lent elegantly against the door frame, with a boyish smirk on his face.

"Thanks a lot" I snapped.

"You're welcome" he replied, cheerfully. I turned back to my work then froze, and looked back again.

"Matt!" I shouted, jumping up and hugging him. Then immediately wishing I hadn't. The room began to spin alarmingly fast.

"Woo, little girl" he said, putting his hand to my forehead. "You're burning up, what are you doing here?"

"I'm working. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in St. Mungos?" I asked.

"I got discharged last night actually. Besides, I have a meeting with Scrimgeour in half an hour, and that's why I am here. But you" he said, pointing his finger at me. "You shouldn't be here. You're obviously ill" he said. "Let me take you home, its better there than here". He sounded a little bitter, but I shook off his concern.

"Matt, I'm fine. Really" I lied, earnestly, hoping he'd leave me to suffer in silence. "Just go to your meeting". He shook his head, and pulled out his wand.

"Nope" he said, twiddling his wand between his thumb and index finger. "Did you know that you can actually apparate in the Auror department? Found out the other day. Come in pretty handy, I suspect" he said, vaguely. I knew exactly what he was about to do.

"You wouldn't" I glared. He grabbed my arm and span. Obviously, he would. I tried to tug away but I was weaker than I thought. As we landed outside my flat, I just wanted to punch his smug face. He opened the door and nudged me through it, onto the sofa.

"I woke up this morning; I was able to get myself to work. I'm not that ill, and I have reports to do" I argued, feeling the temperature in this flat drop. He shut the door and came over to me, shaking his head.

"Yes, and I bet you've been sitting in that office, feeling like shite, and not being able to do anything because your too ill to concentrate. Yes Tonks, you're ill, you need to be taken care of. And because I'm your friend, I'm going to help you" he stated.

"I can look after myself, Matt. I don't need help" I said. "I need to go back to work". I made to stand up but he nudged me down again.

"Tonks" he said, crouching by the sofa, in front of me. "You're not a robot. You can't always do things on your own, and you can't be ill, and then work more, making yourself worse. Sometimes you need looking after, and sometimes you're just going to have to accept help. Everyone gets ill" he said. I sighed.

"I know, but I'm so used to doing things on my own" I muttered, I felt my whole body sway. "Just go to your meeting".

"If I go to this meeting, I'm not leaving you on your own" he said, before walking into the kitchen. I found that I didn't even have the energy to ask what he was doing, I just felt myself relaxing into the cushions, and then laying down and curling up. He came back 5 minutes later with a quill in one hand and a glass of water in the other. He put the glass by my side, the quill on the coffee table.

"You need to drink plenty of fluids, I'll go to my meeting... soon" he smirked. He offered the water to me. I took it from him and took a sip, resisting the urge to dump it on his head. I knew he was being a good mate, but I wasn't well enough to appreciate it.

"What did you do?" I asked. His smirk was making me suspicious.

"You want me to go to the meeting, but I want you looked after. So, I used your owl to come up with a compromise" he said, simply. "Hope you don't mind me saying, but your owl is a bugger".

"Yeah, he's become a bit vicious lately. Not to me, but to everything else" I said. "What kind of compromise?" I asked, feeling a sudden lurch in my stomach. There was a knock at the door. I looked at him fearfully.

"Relax Tonks, you'll like this compromise" he smirked and went to answer the door. I peered over the arm of the sofa, which my head was using as a pillow, and saw Matt letting in a tall man, with brown hair which was streaked with grey. A small owl was perched on his shoulder. I sank down and closed my eyes.

"Tonks, I know you're awake. And since you wouldn't let me take care of you, I had to call in a little re-enforcement. Remus has kindly accepted to look after you, so I can go to this meeting. I'll square it so you can have the day off" he said. "Thanks Remus. And be careful. She's being really stubborn" he said in a tone which suggested he was putting it lightly.

"No worries, Matt" I heard Remus say. "I'm glad I can help. And it's good to see you out of St. Mungos".

"Good to be out" he said. "Ok, have fun Tonks" he trilled in a girly, annoying voice.

"Piss off" I mumbled. Both men laughed, then the door shut and everything was silent. I sensed Remus coming to sit by me, but I closed my eyes tighter.

"I know you're awake" he whispered. I felt his hand brush over my hair, pulling the strands away from my face. "You shouldn't have been working, Dora" he whispered again. "Silly girl" I felt his hand on my cheek, and lent into it without really thinking about it. My stomach was driving me crazy; I felt a sudden jolt in my stomach. My eyes snapped open; Remus looked at me closely for a second before conjuring a bowl.

He held my hair back, and whispered sweet things to me, and didn't even seem discomforted by the fact that my head was in a bowl. Tears ran down my cheeks, I hated getting ill. I wasn't even really crying; it was just the reaction to what was happening to my body. I don't get ill often, but when I did, it hit me hard. One minute I'd be fine, the next, my face was in a bowl.

When I was finished he wiped my face and gave me water to rinse my mouth out with, and to soothe my burning throat. He muttered 'Evanasco' at the bowl, and then put it on the floor.

"You need lots to drink, no food! And sleep, so you're not going in tomorrow" he said, firmly.

"Can't I just have a potion?" I asked, meekly.

"No. The best thing for you right now, is sleep" he answered. I felt the room spin again. "Bedroom or couch?" I laid down on the couch in response, and closed my eyes.

"Fair enough" he said. I opened my eyes and saw him leaving the room. When he came back he was holding my quilt in one hand, and pillow in the other. He gently lifted my head up and slid the pillow under my head. Then he wrapped the quilt around me.

"Sleep tight" he whispered, as I shut my eyes again. The last thing I remembered before I fell asleep was Remus's hand gently stroking my cheek.

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling, I don't know quite how to describe it, but maybe confused? That might be a good word for it. I looked around me and couldn't understand. I knew who I was, right? Hang on, yeah I was Tonks. Did that matter? Where was I? I was sitting here. Where's here? Confusion ran through me, I hated it. It was scaring me, I didn't understand, everything was blurry. I was sitting in this room, but I felt trapped in my head. I wanted to scream, I needed to leave this nightmare.

I sat up on the couch and stood up, but I immediately tripped over something, and fell painfully onto something else. Or somebody. That somebody groaned sleepily.

"Even when you're ill, you're clumsy" a voice mumbled. I recognised that voice. It sounded like Remus's...

"Remus" I squealed, hugging him tightly, though kind of awkwardly. I was still lying on top of him; on the floor… this was awkward. He sat up, with me straddling him, whilst hugging him to death. Usually I would have felt a little embarrassed at the position I was in, but at the moment, I couldn't care less. His arms wrapped around me.

"You're not about to puke on me, are you?" he said, a little warily. I felt like chuckling, but found that I couldn't. "Tonks, what's wrong?" he said, anxiously. He was anxious? What, about me? I held him tighter, scared to let go. I was seriously confused. After about ten minutes things started to unscramble in my head, and I pulled back from Remus a little. He pulled me up and sat me on the sofa, before summoning a glass of water. I took a sip.

"Dora..." he said, I knew what the unspoken question was.

"I don't know. I felt really confused. It was like I was just here but not really. I didn't exactly know where here was. I don't know" I trailed off, lamely. I couldn't see much of him, until he turned on the lights. Which blinded me until he magical dimmed them.

"You felt confused, like as to what the time was, or where you were. Like you were here, but you weren't really, here? And I'm guessing that, maybe, you were confused as to who you were, but you knew at the same time?" he said, in a questioning manner. He put it better than I could.

"Yeah, something like that" I mumbled, taking another sip of water.

"You were disoriented" he said, I raised an eyebrow at him. "It means exactly what I just said. Though it can also mean you've lost your sense of direction, like when you come out of a subway, you don't know where to go. You're confused. When I'm ill, I go to sleep, and when I wake up I tend to feel disoriented. And lots of people do, though they don't actually know what's it's called. They just think there feeling weird" he said. Now I knew why he liked teaching. He sounded like one of my professors, although he was a very hot professor. I couldn't help thinking that if he'd been my professor; I would have mooned over him so bad.

"So, what does that mean with me?" I asked, trying to distract myself from listening to my thoughts, and failing.

"It means you're still ill, you're not quite better yet" he said, simply. He then pulled me to his chest, and my poorly heart soared. "Sleep Dora. I'll wake you up in a few hours and you can drink something other than water. Maybe"

"Yay" I said, unenthusiastically. "Won't you get ill by being here, with me? You know a sick person?"

"I'm very resistant to what you have. I'll be fine" he muttered. I snuggled close to him, too tired to argue. Sleep took over me quickly.

When I woke up, however long it was later; it wasn't of my own choice. Although, Remus hadn't woken me up intentionally like he said he would. The first thing I heard to wake me up was a smashing sound. I tried not to groan out loud as I listened to everything happening around me.

"I didn't mean to do that" said a female's voice, which I couldn't be bothered to recognise.

"Of course you didn't, love" said a male's voice. Hang on? Love? My eyes snapped open, intending to find out who the hell was in my flat, without me knowing.

"Be quiet you two, you'll wake..." Remus walked in from the hall, his eyes locked on mine. "...Dora".

I sat up clumsily, and rubbed my eyes. I felt better today, not great, but better. I guess sleep really did help. Remus came over and sat beside me, and as Matt and Layla walked into the living room, he brushed some hair out of my face and his fingertips lingered for a few seconds on my cheek.

"Chill Remus, she's..." Matt said, before really looking and seeing I was actually awake. "Oh, ok. Maybe's she's not spark out". I unwillingly pulled my gaze away from Remus's eyes, and looked at Matt and Layla, who were standing beside each other, grinning widely like happy morning people. Damn, happy morning people!

"Morning Tonks" said Layla, lightly.

"What did you break?" was my only response.

"A mug, because Matt was all 'grrr' and I was like 'ahh', and then the mug was like 'smash' and then Remus was like 'shh', and then you woke up" she rambled, flapping her hands energetically.

"It's ok Layla, I've broken everything in this flat at least twice, so don't worry" I assured her, before getting back to the main issue on my mind. Apart from how sexy Remus looked this morning. Oh no, I did NOT just think that! "Why are you two here?"

"Wanted to check that you were better this morning" Matt stated. "Are you feeling better this morning?" asked Matt.

"Much thanks" I mumbled. Remus put a glass in my hand; I looked at it and then back at him, wondering where the hell it came from. I swear he hadn't been holding it a second ago.

"Drink it, it'll help" said Remus. "I have to go see, Snuffles, in a bit. Will you be ok?" he asked, as I took a sip of the revolting drink. Obviously it was meant to help me. Anything that was supposed to help you, tasted horrible.

"Of course she will. We'll take her out, so she can get some fresh air. And she should be ok soon, especially after drinking that" said Layla, nodding towards the glass in my hand.

"Yeah Remus, I'll be fine" I said, before turning to Layla. "What am I drinking?"

"Oh, it's an old family remedy. Settle you in no time" she assured. I gulped the last of it down, wishing very much that I hadn't. I shuddered as the vile drink slipped down my throat, but after a few seconds, I felt much better.

"I so needed this yesterday" I said, suddenly more appreciative of the 'icky mixture' that I'd drunk.

"Yeah, well Matt didn't tell me you were ill until this morning. But I always have a few bottles lying around so we brought you this this morning" she said, visibly happy that I liked her 'icky mixture'. "Oh, and as Remus is doing, whatever he's doing today, me and Matt are taking you out for some fresh air and lunch, like I said earlier".

"Isn't that genuinely called skiving?" I asked.

"Yep" Matt said. "But you're overdue for a day off, Tonks. You work your butt off. And technically, you're still recovering".

"Ok then. Matt can you go get me some juice from the kitchen? Layla you can help him" I commanded. Matt gave a mock salute and walked into the kitchen followed by Layla. I watched them leave before turning to Remus who was sitting next to me.

"Remus..." I said, pointing a finger into his chest, and sliding it down. "Tell me exactly what's going on between those two" I demanded.

"You're feeling better then?"

"Don't avoid the question".

"I take that as a yes".

"Take it any way you want, but you will tell me what I want to know. I have ideas, I need the evidence" I said.

"It's not my place, Dora" he said. I moved really close to him, so my face was inches from his.

"There together aren't they?" I asked.

"My lips are sealed, Dora. Just be patient" he said. I groaned and slapped his chest playfully. And then I did it again. Before I had time to register what was happening, he'd pounced and pinned me to the sofa. I was shocked, but not displeased.

"Now Dora, you need to learn patience. There taking a long while getting that juice, and you probably know why, but I am not spilling anything. So, you have to promise not to harass me for answers. Deal?" he asked. I nodded slowly, not being able to find my voice just yet.

"Good. Now, would you like me to get off?" he chuckled.

"No". The word escaped my lips before I could stop it. I guess I found my voice. He was looking down at me, confusion written all over his face. I propped myself up a little. "I mean, I'm ok. You're not hurting or anything..." I trailed off, only just realising how my propping up wasn't a good idea. He was so close, his eyes drawing me in. From my position now, I could just lean in a little more, and my lips would brush his...

"I can see why you wanted us out of the room" came Matt's voice. Remus jumped away from me like he'd been zapped, and stood around the other side of the coffee table. I sat up quickly, feeling a bit annoyed. Firstly, I was annoyed with Matt, because now I would never know if I would have had the guts to lean in that small distance. And two, I was slightly hurt by how Remus had reacted. And a little disappointed. Matt was standing holding juice, while Layla stood behind him, silently giggling like a maniac.

"Well, I best be off. See you later, Dora" Remus said, looking at me with a look that clearly said 'let's forget what just happened'. I sent him a look back that silently agreed. He exited the flat rather hastily. I felt really guilty, it suddenly dawned on me that I must have embarrassed him really bad.

"You're in way over your head now, Tonks" giggled Layla.

"You have no idea" I grumbled.

The day spent with Matt and Layla had been pleasant. Now that I was well again, I could enjoy the sunshine and the warmth of it, which was quite warm. Summer was coming, I could tell, and I was very happy about it too.

Matt and Layla had told me they had some news for me, and that they would tell me over dinner tonight. Like I didn't already know. Or suspect. Luckily, they hadn't asked me anything about Remus, but it was only a matter of time.

We sat at a corner booth, in a small restaurant in Diagon Alley called _'The Cosy Cauldron'_. Cosy was right, though it was borderline claustrophobic. We ordered quickly, chatting about random things, but soon the conversation turned to me. As in, the next topic of conversations is drumroll, TONKS!

"He's so into you, it's really obvious. I don't get why you don't just ask him out?" asked Layla, mildly. Ok, let's correct that. As in, the next topic of conversation is drumroll, HOW MUCH TONKS LOVES REMUS!

"Coming from the girl who spent ages crushing on her best friend, and it finally took something bad to happen for you to tell him" I said, simply. It was my retaliation, and a way to avoid answering that question. I knew Matt and Layla were going out now, it was so obvious. They didn't even try to hide it. They didn't even act surprised that I knew. I was happy for them, but now I knew Layla would be determined to get me and Remus together. Not going to happen.

"I learnt from my mistakes, and you should learn from them too" she said, simply. Matt slipped his arm around her shoulders. Look at that, a happy couple. Pass me a bucket; I think I'm going to barf. But I wanted that to be me and Remus. And suddenly, I felt compelled to tell them everything.

"I want to learn from the too. I really do. I know what were like around each other, I'm not stupid; I know there's something there. I've tried not to think about it because I didn't want to get my hopes up, but it's there. I'm not imagining it, am I? I don't think I am" I said, hurriedly.

"Usually your instincts are right, so I'd say believe them. Not many people follow their instincts and that becomes their downfall" said Layla, actually sounding quite smart.

"Yeah. I've seen you two together at the dinner, and you looked so loved up. And I'm a guy saying that, so it must have been clear" joked Matt.

"I wasn't very nice to him, I just felt a bit uncomfortable. But I know he's a great guy. The way he looks at you, you can tell he likes you. And remember, were your mates. We spot things that you don't" said Layla.

"Yeah, like earlier when we interrupted you two. It looked like you were about to rip each other's clothes off" Matt laughed. Slap. Layla hit him upside the head. I giggled. Were they right? I mean, they can spot things I can't. And Remus did spend a lot of time with me, and he really cared about me. He looked after me last night.

"Sorry about Matt, he doesn't pick up on social cues" Layla said, with a smirk.

"You mean he's rude?" I asked.

"Exactly"

"Will you two not talk about me like I'm invisible, please?" he asked, grumpily.

"Who said that?" I asked, looking everywhere except Matt. Layla laughed loudly, and Matt glared at me. I morphed my eyes dangerously narrow. He started back a little, making Layla laugh more as I turned my eyes back. The food arrived at our table, and the server quickly walked off. I stuck my fork into my spag boll, and started twisting it around my fork. I shoved a load in my mouth and chewed happily.

"Tell him Tonks" Layla said, quietly.

"Maybe" I mumbled after I swallowed my spaghetti.

"But-" she said, but I cut across her.

"I gave you maybe. I need to think this through for myself. Can we just, talk about something else?" I asked. Layla looked a bit put out but Matt patted her on the shoulder, and she took a bite of her lasagne and said no more.

"Yes" Matt said, chewing on pizza. The girls were eating healthy, and he was stuffing his face. "I have some news for you".

"What kind of news?" I asked.

"I'm being transferred" he said, I spat out my spaghetti.

"What!"

"The American Ministry are in need of a new Auror. My family came from America, and I wanted to get back to my roots, so to speak. I haven't been there since I was a baby. It was an excellent opportunity" he reeled off, nervously. It seemed he was looking for my approval.

"So, you're leaving, for America? Is this what the meeting with Scrimgeour was about?" I asked, suddenly making connections.

"Yes, it was" he said. I took a sip of my butter beer. "Layla's coming too". I spat out my butter beer, spraying it all over Matt. He wiped his face with a napkin.

"Ok, I repeat...What?" I asked, choking slightly. I was happy for them if they were happy but still, it was a shock.

"Sorry Tonks, but I really want to do this. Will you support me?" asked Matt. I swallowed some more spaghetti.

"Of course I'll support you; both of you, but, it's come as a bit of a shock. Of all the things I'd prepared myself to expect..."

"That wasn't one of them" Layla finished my sentence off for me.

"Exactly. But congratulations you guys! I am happy for you, but I'm going to miss your company around the Ministry, you guys!" I said. Layla got off her chair and came round the table to give me a hug. I would miss them both. "But we'll stay in touch right?"

"Of course" said Matt, as Layla came and sat down beside him. It was a lot to take in, but the evening went on happily after that shock announcement. Though later on that evening they'd told me that they were leaving the first week of May. That was really soon. But also, I found I didn't mind to bad, the main thought in my head was whether to tell Remus how I felt. If even Matt could see something more than friendship between us, then it had to be there? Then again, Matt isn't very observant. But Layla said so too, and I really feel there's something more between me and Remus. I knew I loved him, but could he possibly love me?

_No, don't be absurd Tonks, he could never love you. You're too immature, and you're not smart and when you're not morphing, you're not pretty either. Why would he go for someone like you?_ No stop thinking negatively. Oh, but the negatives were there!

Throughout the meal these thoughts went around in my head, and by the end I was happy to get out onto the cobbled street, in the night air. I walked beside Layla and Matt down the street, not really paying attention to where I was going, lost in thought. If I had been looking at where I was going, I would have seen the two men standing staring up at a building, each holding a broom. As it was, I didn't see them, and therefore, I walked right into them.

"Oh god, I'm sorry" I apologised. Matt was laughing as he and Layla stopped just a bit ahead of me and the two men.

"Tonks, you're too clumsy" Matt called.

"Hey, it's my secret weapon" I called back. "Sorry" I said again to the men.

"That's ok Nymphadora" said one of them.

"No harm done" said the other.

"Lumos" they both said together. Two 17 year old guys, with ginger hair were illuminated in front of me.

"Fred, George!" I cried, hugging them both. "You two go home, I'll be fine" I called to Matt and Layla, who both waved and left. "What are you two doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

"We busted out. Further education's not for us" said Fred.

"And we brought this place; we're starting our own business. We've been planning for a while, but this is really it" said George.

"It is indeed George. Wonder what the folks will say?" said Fred.

"Whatever they say, they can't stop us now" grinned Fred. "This place is our future".

"And what is this place?" I asked.

"Number ninety-three, Diagon Alley" Fred said.

"Or what it'll now be known as" said George.

"Weasley's Wizard Wheezes"

**Please review, and let me know what you think. Can I persuade you to review by offering you the chance to dine with a Harry Potter Character of your choice? LOL. Oh, and cyber cookies. *offers plate* my cyber cookies are legend! XD :P ;) Gurugirl bids you farewell.**


	26. Where Theres a Will

**HEY HO PEOPLE! It's coming up to Christmas! Whoop, my favourite time of the year. Just in case I don't update before Christmas day, or forget to say it later... Happy Christmas! 19 days to go, well 18 if you don't include today. I'm directing the Christmas panto at my school, whoa, while cramming for exams so everything's a bit hectic for me at the moment. Thanks to all the reviews I got for the last chapter, I was overwhelmed with the amount and loved reading them. As you know, if you review, I do reply. So please keep them coming. This chapter is a bit...odd...**

**The poll results are in. Poll Closed Forever. The result is... ****One story for all the books****. I hope you'll all stick with me through the entire thing. It's moving pretty swiftly now. I got my writers Mojo back.**

**Disclaimer: If I was Rowling, would I be here?**

_**Edited: 15/05/11  
**_

Where There's a Will

There was one reason why I was where I am now. I was doing someone, or someone's, a favour. I had a feeling I might regret this, but I was apparently the best person to fight there corner. I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting outside Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. I was waiting for the twins, because I was about to take them to an order meeting. Now that they were out of school, they wanted to join, and needed someone to plead their case.

"Guys, will you hurry up" I called into the store. They'd told me not to come in because they didn't want me getting hurt. I didn't even ask what was in there that might hurt me. "Were going to be late"

"Keep your hair on, Nymphadora" said the incredibly cheeky voice of Fred Weasley, as he exited the shop, followed by his brother.

"It's Tonks. If you want me to plead your case, get it right" I said, calmly. "So, how's the shop going?" I asked, as we walked down the street.

"Good. We found a clerk. Verity, pretty little thing" said Fred.

"Don't let Angelina hear you say that" George chuckled. "Were opening tomorrow"

"Oh, cool. Spoke to your mum?" I asked, stopping at the end of the street and getting my wand out, ready to disapparate.

"Nope" they said together. I smiled. _Oh joy! Facing Molly and trying to persuade the Order in one afternoon. _I turned on the spot and disapparated at the exact same time that they did.

We all popped onto the street outside Grimmauld place, and they climbed the steps hurriedly. I sighed exasperatedly and followed them up the steps. They were waiting in the hall just inside the door when I came in. I shut the door quietly behind me, and turned back around to them. They were staring at something on the floor, and as I looked around them I cringed away from what was staring up at us. Kreacher, stood looking more filthy and disgusting than ever before, his hands were heavily, but badly, bandaged. They looked burnt underneath.

"The blood traitor brats are back, befouling the house of my mistress by just standing there, bold as brass like they belong in the world. Oh, what would my mistress say..." he mumbled.

"I think we all know what she'd say, now move aside you disgusting piece of filth" I spat, angrily. He just stared at me. I moved over to him and pushed him out of the way. As I walked down the hall, Fred and George followed me, one on either side. Kreacher watched us go, muttering angrily about a 'half-blood freak'. Me.

"Just ignore him Tonks" muttered George.

"I want to be the one sticking his head up on the wall" said Fred.

"And I want to be the one who chopped it off!" George replied, happily. We all sniggered; I could hear voices inside the kitchen. We stopped outside the door.

"You guys stay here, I'll call you in" I whispered to them. They both nodded and stood in the shadows so if anybody looked out the door as I opened it, they wouldn't be seen. I put my hand on the handle, and pushed it open. Stepping into the room I was greeted with a few hellos, before everyone began talking again. This was the time to do it. _Oh merlin!_ I cleared my throat loudly, and everyone looked at me.

"Err, well, hi. I needed your attention because I know two people who want to join the Order, and I want you to, please, keep an open mind about this, when you see them" I looked around at everybody; Molly, Arthur, Emmeline, Remus, Bill, Sirius, Mad-eye and Kingsley. All of them were either going to think I was insane or hate me. "Come in, guys" I called to the door. It opened slowly, and there was a mixture of reactions as Fred and George stepped into the room. I stepped back nervously.

"No" shrieked Molly. Everyone went quiet and looked between Molly and the Twins. This was what I was here for I guess; Winning around the Order, but most importantly, their mother. I hastily stepped in.

"Molly" I said, calmly.

"No. Why did you bring them here? They're not joining".

"But Molly, I've listened to the reasons, and I have many of my own. A couple of months ago I probably would have reacted like this too, but that was then. This is now" I said. Everybody watched me, obviously waiting to hear my reasons before they protested. "Fred and George are of age. Remus said the first night Harry was here that the Order was made up of wizards who had left Hogwarts. Well they have, maybe they didn't do it in the best way, but they are no longer students. They have a business now, in Diagon Alley, and they could keep their ears open and that would be another area covered. They're both very talented. I suspect, due to being in Dumbledore's Army, they know more spells that half the Auror department".

"How'd you know about the DA?" asked Fred. I smirked.

"Guess".

"Ginny" they both said together.

"You're half right. But in October, up in the Hog's Head, you were overheard. I did wonder why Ginny didn't get those sneak spots too, because she told me" I answered.

"Well, you can be trusted" said Fred.

"How'd you know about the spots?" smirked George.

"I work at the Ministry" was my answer, before I turned back to the order. "Fred and George are not much younger than me, only five years I believe, and if I'm allowed in, I think they should be too" I finished, not wanting to add that I didn't want to be the youngest Order member anymore. I looked around at every member.

"She has a point" said Emmeline, suddenly. "They have left school, and we do need more people in the order. The more help we get, the better". Emmeline smiled at me, and I smiled graciously back. Someone had come to my defence.

I turned to Molly who looked in between angry and undecided. "Molly, I know your there mum, and you want to protect them" I said.

"I do want to protect them" she whispered. "I need a word with my sons about how they left Hogwarts". Both the twins groaned beside me, as she gestured them into the pantry. As she disappeared into the pantry, the twins looked at me for help.

"She's your mother, I had to face my mum when I did something wrong, and so do you. I pleaded your case, you're on your own now" I explained. They both nodded and walked towards the pantry, and I took the seat in front of me. No-one was on my right but Bill was on my left, and Emmeline was across the table from me.

"So, how'd my brothers manage to talk you into arguing their case?" asked Bill.

"It wasn't so much talking, more like a hearty helping of guilt tripping, a spoonful of bribery and a sprinkle of blackmail" I shrugged. Bill laughed, and everyone at the table became more talkative. I kept throwing Remus quick glances and caught him doing the same a few times. Meetings had become more of a social gathering. Each person telling each other what was going on in their lives, what they'd heard and how bad guard duty was. It wasn't that bad, just boring and tiring, especially for those of us who got the night shift, but were at work all day too. The only person who remained silent was Arthur, who was staring at the pantry door, squinting slightly. It was clear he was listening for signs of what might be happening in there. I looked at the door just as it opened and the twins walked in behind their mother.

"Molly" Mad-eye said, gruffly as she re-entered the room. Arthur walked over to his wife and sons.

"My sons and I have come to an agreement. If they are to join, they are not to do guard duty, or know exactly what it is that we are guarding" Molly said.

"I think that's for the best" said Kingsley.

"If there in, I'm going to have to inform Dumbledore" said Mad-eye. "Are they in?" he asked. A collection of nods went around the table.

"Ok, then. I best be off. Unless anyone has anything they'd like to add?" asked Mad-eye. Nobody spoke.

"Nope, that looks like that's it Mad-eye. I'll show you out. Tonks, could you come with me please?" asked Sirius, standing up. I looked up at him startled. What did he want to talk to me about? I followed him and Mad-eye out of the kitchen and into the hall. Mad-eye stumped ahead of us, and I walked carefully beside Sirius, eyeing him warily. Sirius opened the door for Mad-eye who stumped outside, and shut the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone Sirius grabbed my hand and dragged me up the stairs. I thought he was going to pull my arm out of my socket, before we finally got to the room he wanted me to go in. The walls of the room were lined with shelves full of books. There was a two seat sofa and an armchair pushed in, and a desk squashed into the corner. Sirius shut the door carefully behind us and guided me over to the desk. He left me there as he went and looked at one of the bookshelves. I watched him pull out an unknown book, and take out a folded piece of parchment. He then replaced the book and brought the parchment over to me. He laid it on the table and tapped it with his wand. It unfolded.

_This is the last will and testament of Sirius Orion Black._

I looked at Sirius, who was looking very grave and more serious than I'd ever seen him. The haunted eyes Azkaban gave him gestured me to read on, but I didn't.

"I know this isn't something you want to see Nymph, but I need someone other than me to sign it. I want you to read it and sign it" he said, carefully.

"Sirius, Sirius, I can't. Why me? Why not Remus or someone?" I asked.

"Your family" he said, shrugging.

"I know, but this'll be so hard to explain. Why was my name on there? You knew where he was, blah blah blah. But then again, it's not like you're going to, you know, die, anytime soon. And you'll be cleared of your charges by then" I reasoned with myself.

"Please can you sign it Tonks, for me?" he asked, there was something like a plea in his voice. He took a quill out of his pocket, and offered it to me. I took it hesitantly and began to read through his will. He'd left everything to Harry; he had covered every loop hole and tied-up all the loose ends. I would be signing as witness, though I still couldn't understand why he'd chosen me. I put my quill to the parchment and signed my name clearly below his signature, and then I folded it back up.

"Thank you Nymie" he said, and, for once, I didn't scold him for calling me Nymie.

"You're welcome cousin" I replied. "You know, you're the only member of my mum's family that I like, and have actually met that wants me around" I confessed. Sometimes the thought that most of my family hate me was a sad thing, even if they were all evil liars.

"Well, I want you around" he said, putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me into an awkward hug. "How have you been lately, anyway?"

"I've been good, keeping busy, you know me. What about you, you're not still drinking are you?" I asked, nervously.

He laughed humourlessly. "No, no I'm not drinking any more. Well, not as much anyway, I need to have a clear head"

"Good, I'm glad" I smiled, hugging him tightly then letting go. "So, what are you going to do with this?" I asked, pointing to the will.

He reached towards the parchment. "I'll hide it".

"Hide what?" said a male voice from the door behind us. We both froze, but Sirius's hand, which had been reaching for the parchment, immediately dropped to his side. We both turned around, being careful to block the table from view. I didn't know why, but I had the feeling Sirius didn't want Remus to know that he'd wrote a Will.

"Nothing" we chimed at the same time.

"Really?" he asked, his eyes now boring into mine.

"Really" I said, reassuringly.

"Then why are you two acting so suspicious?" he asked, politely. Sirius and I immediately relaxed from our tense positions, as if to show we weren't being suspicious.

"We're not. You just startled us" Sirius said, quickly.

"Oh ok" said Remus, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him. He then went and sat on the small couch. There was no way out of this, Sirius was going to have to tell him, or we couldn't move. And I bet anything Remus knew that, he was too smart. He looked gorgeous just sitting there, looking at me. We all stood/sat in silence for a while until Sirius turned around, grabbed the will and held it so Remus could see it.

"What's that?" asked Remus, standing up and coming over to us.

"Moony old mate, this is my Will" Sirius said. "Which I now intend to hide in a book, so if you two don't mind looking away" he said, pointing towards a wall. Remus looked a bit shocked, but stood next to me and looked at the wall. I looked at him, his gently scarred face was calm, but his eyes were filled with worry. He must have sensed me looking, because he turned his head to look at me. He smiled warmly at me.

"Ok, I've hid it" said Sirius from behind us. We both turned around.

"Sirius" said Remus, quietly. "Explain".

"I'm not the only person in the world to have one Remus" Sirius replied.

"I meant, why you didn't want to tell me?" he asked.

"I didn't know how you'd react" was all Sirius said in reply. I looked in between the two best friends, and felt it would be horrible if they fought. "I need to tend to Buckbeak". He walked out of the room. Remus sighed heavily before turning to me.

"So, Fred and George persuaded you to plead their case then?" he asked, taking me by surprise.

"Yeah, but I agree with them joining. There very talented and would be amazing assets to the Order" I said.

"Speaking as their old professor I'd agree they are very talented. They were some of the best students I taught, even if they were a bit mischievous" he said.

"Yeah, well you were mischievous" I replied, nudging him.

"That I was" he smirked. I smirked back, and my smirk broke into a smile as he pulled out a chocolate bar from nowhere and snapped a piece off for me. I chewed it appreciatively, as he popped a piece into his mouth. He gestured out of the room and I followed him. I swallowed my chocolate as he closed the door behind us.

"Thanks" I said.

"No problem. I always find chocolate helps. It's never the answer, but it helps" he replied.

"That it does" I agreed. "Are you going to speak to Sirius?" I asked, walking down the stairs. I tripped on a loose nail and Remus grabbed my arm so I could get balanced again.

"Yes, but I'll do it when everyone's gone" he replied, letting go of my arm.

"Oh, I guess I should go then" I muttered, before impulsively asking "do you want to go out tomorrow?" I cringed as he cocked his eyebrow at me. "To go and see the Twins shop, their opening it tomorrow. If you're busy, it doesn't matter. I was just going to check it out and thought maybe you want to see it too" I babbled like an idiot.

"I'd love to Dora" he smiled. I visibly relaxed. "I'll meet you outside their store about 10? But I'll have to be back early, cause of full moon" he said, simply. I inwardly slapped myself, I'd completely forgotten about full moon. Looking at him now, he did look pale, and visibly weaker.

"Oh god, Remus, I'm sorry. I forgot that was tomorrow" I whispered. "You don't have to come, if you want to rest..."

"Resting doesn't help much, and I can hardly sleep on the day of the full moon. I may look really tired, but everything inside me is wide awake, and touchy. So if I snap at you, forgive me?" he asked.

"Of course, I'll see you tomorrow then" I said, flashing him a small smile and walking off. As I got down to the hallway I heard him call "that you will". A huge smile spread across my face.

I was running late. As usual when I was set a time, I couldn't stick to it. I didn't purposely set out to be late; in fact I hadn't set out at all. The reason I was running late was because I overslept, a common mishap. Everyone overslept, and I'm sure Remus wouldn't mind, but even with those thoughts in mind, I was still running around like a headless hippogriff. I didn't want to lose anymore me and Remus time, though he saw us just as friends, which bummed me out, because I was in love with him. Sometimes it felt horrible being around him, knowing that'll we'll never be anything more than friends, but at the same time I loved being around him.

I knocked things out of the way, opened and slammed cupboards, chucked things across the room and still couldn't find it. Where was that stupid sandal? Yes, it was spring, but it was warm out so I decided to wear something cooler. I had my short sleeve purple top on, which had bright stars down one side of it. Capri shorts, which were basically shorts only a bit longer, they didn't quite come down to the knee. And then I had one sandal.

"Eureka!" I cried as I finally found my other sandal, and slipped it on my foot. I then grabbed my wand from on top of the cupboard, and hastily left the flat.

I practically sprinted towards Fred and George's Shop. Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. "Sorry I'm late" I gasped. "Overslept"

"S'alright" Remus replied, sleepily. "Me too; just got here".

"Oh good" I said, happy that I wasn't as late as I thought. "Well, shall we go in?" I asked. He responded by opening the door and gesturing me through it. As I walked past him, I noticed how sickly looking he was, and felt a pang of guilt that I'd dragged him here when he could be at Grimmauld place, sleeping.

As I walked into the shop, I stopped and looked around in awe. Everywhere I looked was cool looking products, and bright colours. Several loud bangs were emitting from the back, and some shelves were squeaking, but it was amazing. Remus was standing beside me looking equally as impressed as I was.

"Hello Remus, Nymphadora" said a voice, from behind a shelf. Fred came out from behind it, wearing a magnificent of magenta robes that clashed with his hair.

"Hello Fred" said Remus.

"No, not Nymphadora; it's Tonks" I said, firmly. Fred bowed in apology, and I looked around the store. There were a few customers, but I suspected business would pick up when the kids were home for the summer.

"Fred, how rude of you" said George, coming to stand by his brother. "Miss Tonks would you like a tour?" he asked, winking at me. I giggled at their behaviour.

"Yes, I would" I said, suppressing further giggles and walking off into the shop with him.

"We have the basics here, trick wands are in there. The cheapest turning into a rubber chicken, although we do have ones that transform into clubs that beat the unsuspecting user over the head. Skiving Snack boxes, trick sweets to get you out of school, as advertised, but they can be used to get out of almost any occasion that you wish to escape from" he said.

"Those would come in handy at the next Ministry dinner" I mumbled.

"We have a small collection of Muggle tricks, based mainly on our father" said George, looking around the shop. I looked with him to see Remus and Fred talking animatedly to each other, Fred was holding something in his hand. "Also, check out our products for witches. We didn't know if we were going to put them in today" he said, leading me over to one side of the shop. There were loads of products. A cage had several small pink fluffy things in it, I peered into it curiously.

"Miniature puffskeins?" asked Remus, behind me. I quickly whipped around and saw Remus talking to both twins. They must have come over while I was looking at the fluff balls.

"Yeah, breeding them has been hard, not going to even try and explain how we managed it. We're waiting for more at the moment, but they'll make good pets" explained Fred.

"You should make some in purple too, not all girls like pink" I said, absentmindedly. Something else had caught my eye. I reached out and pulled a small heart shape bottle down from the top shelf. "Love potion?" I asked, smirking. The twins smirked back.

"Yes. Think they'll be popular?" George asked.

"I feel sorry for those poor Hogwarts boys" I said, "How much?"

"You want to buy one?" asked Remus, incredulously.

"Maybe"

"And who would you like to spike with love potion?" asked Fred.

"Don't know yet" I smirked, but then I gave Remus an obvious wink. Fred and George chuckled as I turned back to the shelf, and reached up to the top shelf to replace the potion. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the twins retreating to help a customer. I had done that without thinking about it, and I felt really embarrassed.

"You don't have to use potions" whispered Remus in my ear. I felt him move away and cough hastily. "You should spike Sirius with it, that'd be fun to watch" he suggested, quickly.

"It would be fun to watch, but I don't want to buy anything. At least, not today" I said. He nodded and started to walk towards the back of the shop, but then stopped and turned to me.

"Coming?" he asked. I quickly caught up with him. "Fred and George want to show us the back room. It's top secret apparently" he said.

"Cool" I whispered.

For the rest of the day we explored the shop, and watched the Twins antics with amusement. Their clerk, Verity, was very mousey and shy, but good with the customers and the twins. It was weird to hear them called 'Mr Weasley' but they seemed to like it. I felt comfortable being with Remus, and more relaxed than I'd felt in weeks. When he left so he could get to Grimmauld Place and transform in the attic, with Sirius so he was safe, I pulled him into a tight hug and had to bite my lip to stop myself crying. It wasn't fair that someone as amazing as Remus had to suffer like this every month. He'd made me enjoy my day off, and I almost forgot that my two friends were leaving soon. Almost.

**Like I said odd right? This wasn't very well written; I read it the other day and was on the verge of screaming in horror. I corrected grammar, but no, I didn't like this one as much as the others. Anyway, your opinion counts so what do u thinks? And, as requested, I have another batch of cyber cookies for those who review. Gurugirl xx**


	27. Guesture of Hope

**Hi! I'm updating. Like...now! Aren't I fab? I loved all your reviews last time, all comments were taken on board and all the praise made me very happy. I'm glad you liked it and I love you all. Ok, this chapter is a bit of a fun chapter, because the next one is the Ministry Battle, and everything goes all serious and on a downward spiral from there, really. I understand the song is AU, because it's by Hannah Montana, but the lyrics fitted in well with what starting message I'm trying to get across to you all, so just pretend. For me? Please? Love you. P.s. I don't own the characters, but boy, do I wish I did! Very long chapter... very, very long chapter, sorry! **

_**Edited: 15/05/11  
**_

Gesture of Hope

I was doing something I hadn't done in a long time. I'd turned on my wizarding wireless full blast, and was dancing around the room to the new Weird Sisters song on the radio. I was also putting outfits up to my body, and looking in the mirror to see what they looked like. It was Matt and Layla's leaving party later tonight, and I needed to get ready. The music served two purposes. One: for dancing outrageously too. And two: for taking my mind off the fact that tonight could be the last time I see Matt and Layla for a very long time. I'd grown to love the pair, and now they were abandoning me. I snorted out loud, they weren't abandoning me, but that's what I kept saying because it was funny to see their guilty faces.

I looked at the dress in my hand, and puzzled over whether it was appropriate or not. It came just above the knee, was very body hugging and was covered in gold sequins, making it glitter from every angle. I didn't have any shoes to match, but I could always transfigure my old pumps into some gold heels. The Weird Sisters finished their song and a new one came on. It was announced as sung by a Muggle girl, young girl by the sound of her voice. I wasn't really listening to the song until I heard;

_'He's got something special,_

_He's got something special,_

_And when he's looking at me_

_I want to get all sentimental'_

My mouth dropped open.

_'He's got something special,_

_He's got something special,_

_And I can only see something_

_Telling me telling me_

_Maybe he could be the one'_

_'He could be the one! _

_He could be the one! _

_Oh oh oh!'_

I felt frozen, while the song carried on the only person I could think about was Remus. My dress was still in one hand as I listened to the lyrics. It was like one of those times you thought moments in your life deserved a song to go with it. Soon the song ended, and another song came on, but I wasn't paying attention to it. The lyrics were going around in my head, like they were giving me a message. An image of Remus floated into my mind. Correction: several images of Remus flew through my head. I mentally shook myself, and slipped on the dress, but it was like Remus was permanently stuck in my head. His gorgeous figure, and those beautiful brown eyes, and his sweet laugh. He was so caring and understanding and intelligent. He made me feel so special and important, like no-one else had ever done before.

I quickly turned my attention to morphing my hair so it was shoulder length, chocolate brown with slight twists at the end. Unfortunately, this took only a matter of seconds, and my mind moved back to Remus. It was like that song had suddenly brought out all these feelings that, I hadn't been trying to squash, just ignore as much as possible. Although that was becoming very hard, especially when he was around me. I am in love with him. I, Nymphadora Tonks, am in love with Remus Lupin. And I love and hate every minute of it. I love being with him, but I hate not being able to be with him. Wait, does that make sense? Argh! I should not be thinking about this now. I have a party to go to.

I started transfiguring my pumps into shiny gold high heels and slip them on. I quickly twirled in the mirror, making sure I look good before I go out. I grabbed my wand from the table and flicked it at the wizarding wireless, which turns off instantly and I'm left in silence. Crazy thoughts enter my head, and daydreams...beautiful daydreams… Oh dear, am I drooling? No Tonks snap out of it. You obsess over him 24/7. Just give it a break for one night. I nod to myself and then look at my wand, puzzling my next dilemma. Where do I put it?

I looked down at my outfit, which was quite revealing, and there were no pockets. But I needed to put my wand somewhere. A sudden idea popped into my head, and I looked at my bra, smiling at my brilliance. Luckily the dress straps were thick enough to hide my bra straps so I could just slide my wand right at the bottom of the strap, and no-one would see it… hopefully. I slipped it in to see if it worked, and luckily it did. Then I realised I needed it out to apparate, so I pulled it out again, but smiled happily at my idea anyway. I walked to my door, double checking I'd done everything, before opening it and stepping out into the corridor. Locking the door behind me, I turned on the spot a disapparated.

Turns out I transfigured my heels to big, because I stumbled on my landing. Then again, I always stumbled, whatever I was wearing. The alley I'd landed in was creepy, and I hastily walked out of it, and crossed the road towards the pub that Matt and Layla were having their leaving party. I slipped my wand in the strap of my bra, and as I walked through the door it slipped down a bit but stayed, thank merlin! It would be quite embarrassing if it fell out.

The atmosphere in the pub was warm and friendly, and this was obviously a wizarding pub, but with Muggle tastes. I saw a chalk board on the wall beside me, advertising Muggle drinks. There was a big banner across the wall that was in front of me, but just to the left slightly. And there were loads of Ministry types, and people who could only be Matt and Layla's sort of friends.

"Tonks!" squealed a high pitch, girly voice. I looked to the corner where Layla was sitting with Matt and two other guys, who I didn't know. Layla got off her stool and ran up to me. She pulled me into a tight hug, then pulled back to inspect my outfit. "Sexy dress Tonks" she commented.

"Thanks, but don't let Matt hear you say that" I joked. She giggled again, and it was obvious she'd already had a bit to drink. The party had only been going on for an hour, and I told them I'd arrive later because of work.

"Don't worry, I won't. So, did you wear that dress for a special reason? Anyone coming you'd want to impress?" she asked.

"No, not that I'm aware of" I said, curiously. She giggled and fluttered her eyelashes. I sighed dramatically. "Only you Layla" I said, clutching a hand over my heart clumsily. She laughed outrageously.

"That's what I like about you, Tonksie. You like a joke" she said. "Come on, let's get some shots. I've been dying to try them" she said, pulling me towards the bar.

"Layla, I want to have fun and everything, but I don't want to get smashed tonight" I said, carefully, as we reached the bar.

"Oh" she moaned, grumpily. She put her elbows on the table, propped her head on her hands and sulked. I wouldn't be guilt tripped into this, but it was hard not to cave. I meant what I said about not wanting to get smashed, I would have something to drink, but not much. I looked around the room, anywhere but Layla, who was making me feel guiltier by the second, until my eyes rested on the door. And then it opened. I guess I knew before they walked in, who it would be, but still, I was going to kill Layla if it was. And it was.

Remus entered quietly, nobody taking any notice of him as he looked around the pub with a curious face. '_He's got something special'. _The lyrics popped into my head, and I quickly shook my head, as if by doing so, I would stop thinking. But then he looked over at the bar and spotted me, and Layla of course, looking sour faced and drunkenly grumpy. _'And when he's looking at me, I want to get all sentimental'. _Ahhh, Shut up you stupid thoughts, now! **No. De l'amour stupide a frappé l'imbécile. **Wait, did my own thoughts just insult me..._in French?_ How did I even know French? Weird! And Remus is walking towards me right now, with that gorgeous smile on his face, that makes me smile like a love struck fool. _'He could be the one...'_

"Oh god, Layla. Order those shots, I think I'm going to need them" I said, turning to face her, my voice was slightly hysterical. She suddenly looks very happy and orders the drinks, not even bothering to ask what changed my mind. I watch Remus, he's closer now. Five seconds until impact. 5… 4… 3… He looks so scrummy. Oh god, shut up thoughts, you're not helping the situation. 2. Weak knees, heart racing. 1. Oh god, keep calm; can't keep calm. 0.

"Hello Nymphadora".

"Hi Remus" I said, somewhat breathlessly. "Err...how come your here?" I asked, before realising what I said had been a bit rude.

"Layla invited me" he said, shrugging. _Layla!_ As I took in Remus's appearance I noticed his eyes. Not that I don't always notice his eyes, but I noticed his eyes travelling. He was looking at my legs and working his way up. Oh my god, was Remus eyeing me up? Someone tapped me on the shoulder. That someone got a death glare.

"I'm taking these back to the table over there" she said, nudging her elbow in the right hand corner, kind of direction. She had a tray that had loads of small glasses, each with different colour liquid in. "Hurry, hurry" she trilled, walking away, but not before giving me a small wink first and then a glance at Remus. I raised my eyebrows and turned back to Remus.

"This should be an interesting night" I commented dryly, as if I were merely commenting on the weather.

"You two are going to drink all that?" he asked.

"Yes, and this is a magical pub, no doubt Layla paid more money to get the glasses to refill, by themselves" I replied.

"Well, we better not keep her waiting then" he said, and we both turned to walk in Layla's direction, but I kept my steps small, so I could spend just a couple more seconds in Remus's company, before I joined Layla, and Matt.

Remus moved a little closer to me, and as we walked he put his face closer to mine. "You look beautiful tonight, Nymphadora" Remus whispered in my ear, making me shiver. I blushed as I muttered _'thanks'_. When we got to the table there were four people sitting there. The table was small and round and there were several stalls around one side of it and on the other there was long couch type chair that could fit about three people. The stools were taken so Remus and I slid onto the couch like chair, next to Layla.

"Hey Remus" greeted Matt, taking a swig of what I presumed was butter beer. "Got Layla's letter then?"

"Hello Matt and yes I did. It was nice to be invited, I haven't been out properly in a few weeks" Remus said, conversationally.

"That's okay, and there are mainly Ministry snobs here, because the family party is tomorrow. They just come for some booze, and then they'll leave. Oh, and Layla has planned to get smashed tonight, and she's taking Tonks with her" he said, as I grimaced. I looked at the two men sitting with him and inquired, with my eyes, as to who they were. "Oh, yeah. This is Claus Winter-" he said, gesturing to the man on his left. "And this is Octavius Wood" he said, gesturing to the man on his right. Claus had jet black hair, almost greasy, along with a sneer instead of a smile. Mini Snape, I thought, trying not to giggle. Claus looked back at me, taking everything in, but not in the way Remus had. Claus was cold. I didn't know how I knew, I just did. Octavius on the other hand had a mop of brown hair and a friendly smile. He looked somewhat bookish and slightly bored, but interested as well. He looked like he was the younger version of Remus, except he had blue eyes, and Remus's were a smouldering chocolate colour.

"Nice to meet you" I said, politely. Out the corner of my eye I saw Remus eyeing them both with apprehension, borderline nervousness. Remus was looking at Claus with distaste and Octavius with curiosity. I put my hand on Remus's knee instinctively, as if trying to comfort him, and a moment later it was obvious I had because he breathed out and looked content.

"And you" said Claus, in a softer voice than I thought he would have. Octavius nodded, before picking up his beer.

"Right Tonks take a blue, red, green and yellow liquor filled glass" said Layla, suddenly, as she took her own. I sighed. Well, I had asked her to order them for me. I took mine and put them in front of me. "Right, it's who can down there four glasses first, and whoever does drinks the clear liquor in the last glass" she said, pointing to the last small glass on the tray. The men were watching us carefully. I took my hand from Remus's knee and took the blue liquor filled glass in my hand. "Ready?"

"Ready" I squealed, faking excitement.

"Go!" she said, and I downed the blue liquor which was bland, before downing the green one and almost choked. It was vile. I quickly snatched the red one which tasted warm and fresh, and then thrust the yellow liquor down my throat and gagged. Layla had only just reached the yellow one, so I made a grab at the clear liquor filled glass and chucked it down my neck without a second thought.

"I win" I said, slamming the glass on the table. The clear liquor was the best by far, and made me feel light and fluffy; carefree and weightless. Layla nudged me to look at the table, and I saw the glasses had refilled.

"Again, Tonks" she trilled, happily.

"Are you sure you girls should be drinking all that over and over again?" Octavius asked, incredulously. I saw Claus roll his eyes and Matt shrugged, clearly not bothered.

"Dora, maybe you shouldn't" Remus said from beside me. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I picked up Layla's re-filled glasses and put them in front of Remus.

"You and Me; drinking competition, now" I stated. He had no choice. He spluttered in protest, and on impulse I leaned into him and whispered in his ear so the others couldn't hear. "Is the little wolf afraid of a little drink? Or maybe he's just afraid of losing to me?" He turned to face me, our noses almost touching we were that close, a smirked playing on his lips.

"Pick up the blue one" he said, simply. I picked it up as he counted to three. I tried to hastily down them, but he was faster, and by the time I'd downed my third, he'd grabbed the clear liquor and was gulping it down. He slammed the glass on the table.

"I win!" he said, a dreamy looked in his eyes as he said it. "Wow" he whispered. I knew he was referring to the liquor he'd just drunk; it had made me feel brilliant.

"I know" I said, taking the glass from the table, which had just been re-filled, and downed it. After so much alcohol in such a short time, I felt for sure I'd get drunk quick.

"Hey, that's not the way the game works" Layla pouted. I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Here, have my shots, and I'll have this" I reasoned, raising the glass in salute to her. She frowned but accepted. Matt waved his wand and butter beer appeared on the table.

"For those who have simpler tastes" he said, grabbing a bottle. Octavius and Claus did the same, but Remus didn't. He was staring at me, and then he swiftly took the glass out of my hand and drank the liquor in it.

"Hey, that's mine" I squealed. He held the glass away from me as it re-filled.

"Correction: it was yours" he said, swiftly drinking the liquor.

"No, still mine" I said, reaching over him for the glass he was holding away from me. "Give it back to me".

"There was a reason that drink was last. It's the best tasting, and most addictive. It also gets you drunk faster" explained Layla, but I wasn't paying attention. All I saw and heard was Remus and the glass of liquor. Obviously, he wasn't listening either.

"And if I should refuse?" he questioned.

"I'll bite you" I said, as he turned away and drank the liquor again. I made a grab for it.

"Oooh, kinky" he whispered, huskily. Teasing me.

"You wish" I muttered, finally grabbing the glass from his hand and drinking some contentedly.

"I do, actually" he whispered. I turned abruptly to him, but he acted as if he hadn't said anything. The others were giving either amused or curious looks. I ignored them all and leaned against Remus, drinking the liquor.

"Ok, Matt. Grab some shots. You're playing" trilled Layla, enthusiastically skipping over mine and Remus's antics. The night started off like this, each person taking turns to beat each other in 'the drinking game', while me and Remus sat squashed cosily together, passing the drink back and forth to each other. _Remus Lupin, I am so getting you drunk!_ I thought happily, though my thoughts were becoming foggier as the night went on...

As the night went on, the unknown liquor me and Remus were drinking was beginning to take over, and the others were bad as well. We were all completely hammered, and acting completely stupid. And we'd decided to play, of all the games in the world we could have chosen, we had to pick this one. The one played by teens all over the world but not adults. Unless of course they were as drunk as us. Oh yes, that's right, we'd decided to play, truth or dare.

"Okay Tonks, your turn. Truth or dare?" Matt asked, his words slightly slurred.

"Ummm, dare" I picked.

"Okay, mm, jump on the table and dance energetically to the next song that is played" he said. A rather boring dare but hey, I jumped on the table anyway and started dancing to the song that was played. It was _Hungry like a Wolf _by _Duran Duran._ How Ironic. Layla giggled like mad and the boys wolf whistled and clapped their hands. Soon I'd had enough and jumped down, landing practically in Remus's lap. But he didn't seem to mind, he just put his arm around me. Stars; stars were glittering around the room, I wanted to touch them, but I was pulled back to the game.

"Okay, Octavius" Layla trilled. "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth" he replied, rather giggly. He sounded like a girl.

"Umm, when you were little, who was your celebrity crush?" asked Layla. God these guys weren't very inventive, but for the moment I didn't care. Remus was doing some very _interesting_ things with his hands, resting on my thighs. _God, he must be drunk. I bet he'd never do anything like this sober. _I was so focused on Remus, and the glittery stars around the room that I completely missed his answer.

"No, no, I missed it" I cried, dramatically. "Say it again".

"No, I will not. Anyway, you seemed a little pre-occupied anyway" Octavius giggled. GIGGLED! Claus had raised his eyebrows so far up his forehead you could no longer see them. I slid off of Remus's lap and plonked myself beside him instead.

"Ok Matt, your turn" Claus said. I wondered vaguely if there was any rules to this game, like what order we were going in. "Truth or dare, little chicken" he taunted.

"Dare" slurred Matt.

"Okay, kiss Tonks" he said, simply.

"No frikkin way! Piss off mate; make him kiss Layla, or you. I bet you'd like it" I snapped, angrily. Ah, the violent side of alcohol.

"Not being funny Matt, but if you touch Dora, I will hurt you" growled Remus.

"Hey, don't look at me; Claus was the one who set the dare. And in fear of losing my manliness, I forfeit" answered Matt, slightly slurred, but decisively. Claus glared, the gloves are off and the butter beer bottles are out, what fun!

"What manliness?" asked Layla, "this is the first I've heard of it". I burst into giggles as the men laughed heartily, and Matt stuck his tongue out at his girlfriend.

"Drink" I said to Remus, pouting. He handed me the glass, and I downed the lot before giving him the empty glass back. "Ooh, you have a star on your nose" I said, giggling. I brushed my finger on his nose, and caught the star. Obviously, it wasn't really a star, but whatever.

"I think you two have had too much to drink" stated Layla, before she downed two shots. I stuck my tongue out, before doing a little dance with my hands. I started twirling my fingers and jiggling from side to side, quite randomly. "Hey Tonks, Fuzzy Duck!" I remembered this game. You had to go around saying fuzzy duck, and if someone says duzzy, you had to change directions, but you also had to change the word.

"Fuzzy Duck"

"Duzzy" she said.

"Ducky Fuzz" I said, determined not to get caught out, while Remus tickled me. I squirmed.

"Duzzy Fuck" she shouted.

"Does he fuck what?" I asked.

"Oh Bollocks, done it wrong!" Layla cried, downing her drink. I began jigging about again, dancing was fun.

"Hello" Claus said, drawing the others back to reality, though I carried on jigging and smiling brightly. "We still have to decide Matt's dare".

"Dance on the bar to that Weird Sisters song, umm... damn, forgot the name!" Octavius said, staring vaguely into the distance. Matt kicked him off his stool with a mutter of 'foot slipped'.

"Scarlet Romance. Quite metally" I said.

"You mean metal" said Remus.

"Whatever".

"Yeah, that! Go, Batty Mattie, shake that tosh" cried Layla merrily, as I stopped my little jig. I then turned to face Remus and stuck my tongue out, before, quite randomly, licking his cheek.

"Tonks!" he squealed.

"You taste nice, like chocolaty chocolate!"

"Do I?" he said, and then he stuck his tongue out and licked my cheek. "You taste funny".

"No, I taste divine!" I protested.

"Ok baby, you taste divine" he took another swig from the glass. "Deeeeviine. Divine. Dev-ineee" he recited, looking curiously at a point above my head. Matt had left the table and was dancing on the bar, Octavius was dancing energetically near the bar, and Layla was trying to climb on the bar, and had so far been unsuccessful. And Claus had fallen sideways off his stool and was asleep on the floor. Or perhaps he'd been knocked out. I hoped for the latter, and that it had hurt.

"Come on Remy, let's dance" I squealed excitedly, starting to stand up but swaying and stumbling alarmingly. Remus's hands came to my waist to steady me, but he swayed too as he stood up. I shrugged as if me being, 'Miss Clumsy of the Year', and being drunk and stumbling too, wasn't anything to worry about. I pulled Remus over to the bar and began to dance to the music. The barman rolled his eyes at us, but said nothing. He'd probably seen it a million times before.

Remus was a surprisingly good dancer, and it felt great to dance with him, like we shared something. Until, of course, Layla butted in, pulling me by the arm onto the bar. Matt grabbed my other arm and together they hoisted me up. I wanted desperately to stay with Remus, but I was already on the bar. Looking down. Was it really that high, or was it the influence of alcohol, making the ground seem so much further away? Before I could think on it anymore, Layla had grabbed my hands and we were dancing on the bar to the general amusement and wolf whistles of the pub men.

And then the inevitable happened. I tripped and fell. Alcohol + High heels + dancing on bar = falling. As I fell, Remus grabbed my waist and caught me. Octavius was laughing and Layla shouted 'she's really falling for you, Remus'. I could have killed her but instead I thanked Remus and stood up properly.

"I want to dance with you" I said, pouting. He smiled and pulled me closer to him putting his hands on my waist as I placed mine on his shoulders. I don't remember anything after that...

I was lying on something comfy. A bed perhaps? Definitely something soft and squishy, but that's all the thought I gave to it as I felt my head pound. Oh, that's a headache; wait, no, a migraine! I didn't have the energy to groan. It felt like someone had shoved rocks into my skull and they were beating against my head, trying to get out, while causing me pain in the process. My eyes were closed, and the darkness was slightly soothing, but my eyelids were threatening to open. And after a minute of struggle they opened to a dimly lit room, which didn't hurt my eyes as much. But this room was a bedroom, and I was lying on a bed. But there was one small factor that was about to freak me out. This wasn't my bedroom, this wasn't my bed, and someone was asleep next to me.

I tried not to hyperventilate as I turned my head to the side. My eyes were met with sight of Remus's beautiful face, his light breathing tickled my face and for a moment I forgot that I was meant to panic. And then I remembered, and the panic set in. I sat straight up, and quickly looked under the covers. My panic subsided a little. Both Remus and I were fully dressed.

"Yes Tonks, you are both still dressed and, no, nothing happened in that bed last night but sleep" came a quiet voice from the corner. Sirius was sitting in a chair, drinking from a mug that was steaming and looking to chirpy and smug for his own good.

"What time is it?" I asked, rubbing my head, as if it would help. It didn't help in the slightest.

"About six-ish. You haven't been asleep for very long" he commented dryly, taking another sip from his mug.

"What happened last night? How'd I get here?" I asked. "Ouch, my head" I groaned. Talking and taking in things was too much like hard work when you were hung over.

"I have absolutely no idea. All I know is that you two came in the door at around two this morning, giggling like a pair of drunken maniacs, setting off all the portraits. And then Remus passed out half way up the stairs and you followed a couple of seconds after. I had to drag your drunken arses here" he said, gesturing to the room we were in.

"Oh, sorry" I said, meekly.

"Don't be, I salute you! You got Moony drunk, something that's only ever been achieved once, before now" he grinned. I held my head. "Head hurting then".

"Just a bit" I answered.

"Not surprised, you came home holding a bottle of the stuff you'd been drinking. Fairy Sprite may sound harmless, taste nice and create colourful illusions but it's a killer the morning after. I should know" he stated. Oh, so that's what we'd drunk.

"Oh, right".

"Here" he said, standing up and coming to sit on the edge of the bed. He produced a bottle of blue liquid from his pocket, and took another sip of what I now knew was tea, as he passed it to me. "It'll help the hangover. Don't drink it all, it's for Moony as well. Then you should get some sleep".

"Thanks Sirius" I said, "can I ask why you are in here?"

"Keeping an eye on you two, of course! Pretty interesting really, watching you two sleeping, talking in your sleep..."

"What?" I asked, nearly spitting out the swig of potion I'd just taken.

"Yep, you talk in your sleep more than Moony does. I tell you, you could have a full conversation with you, while you were sleeping" he laughed. "Oh, and I would like to take this moment to say that I suspected all along that you fancied my best mate, and my suspicions have been confirmed".

"What, how, no! No I don't" I spluttered, though there was no point. He knew. And he would tell Remus, and Remus would hate me and my life would be over, and I'd die fat and alone, and my carcass would be found three weeks later half eaten by my twenty six cats. Whoa, way to over analyse girl.

"I'm not going to tell him, if that's what you're thinking" Sirius shrugged. "I thought you'd want to be the one to do that".

"I-" was all I managed, my head was spinning.

"I know you fancy him" he said.

"I think it's a little bit more than that. I think that I'm in love with him" I said, quickly looking at Remus to check he was still asleep. Sirius smiled, if at all possible, wider. He looked like a Cheshire cat.

"This is brilliant! I mean, we've all had our suspicions, but this is great, Tonks" he said.

"How is this brilliant, it's agony" I said, startled by his reaction.

"Oh, Tonks you naive little girl, you don't get it do you. Think Tonks, with your hung-over pounding brain, think!" he whispered, exasperatedly.

"What do you mean-" I looked into his eyes and suddenly realised what Sirius was trying to say. My eyes widened, "you don't mean? He doesn't-".

"Yes Tonks, he does. He so does. I never seen him like it before, but it's definite!" he whispered, lower, looking at Remus and then back to me. I suddenly felt excited but then, I felt my heart plummet.

"Has he actually told you that?"

"Well no" he said.

"Then, I'm sorry Sirius, but I'm not willing to believe it unless I know for sure. I don't think he does" I said, sadly.

"Tonks-"

"No Sirius, enough" I said, sternly. I grabbed the bottle of potion again and took another swig. Sirius pouted at me. "No Sirius".

"But-"

"No" I said, stubbornly.

"Wh-"

"Sirius, please just stop" I begged, thoroughly annoyed and upset.

"Yes Sirius, do stop" Remus suddenly groaned from beside me. He hadn't moved; he'd only opened his eyes. I froze. How much had he heard? _Oh god, oh god! _Sirius watched my panicked face with a smirk, and I flipped the V-sign to him.

"Hey Remus, you're up then?" I asked.

"No, I want more sleep" he said, grumpily. "What do you want Sirius to stop doing?" he asked. His expression was truly clueless; he had only just woken up. He hadn't heard me. I wondered why I wasn't happier about this.

"Bugging me" I growled turning to Sirius, who put his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"Ok, I'll leave you alone now then Tonks. But just think on it, ok?" he asked, getting up from the bed, and walking to the door. I just nodded, and he left.

"I'll leave you to sleep then" I said, grabbing the quilt. I was about to pull it off me when Remus grabbed my wrist and pulled me down to lie beside him. I turned my head towards him, and realised how close he'd pulled me.

"Stay" he said, simply.

"Why?" I asked. Why was I asking, I should just be staying.

"One: because you are part of the reason I'm here right now. And two" he said, before moving closer to me and then leaned his head on my shoulder, burying his face in my hair. "You make a good pillow". He closed his eyes.

"Remus, you have pillows" I said, though I enjoyed snuggling up to me. I especially liked it when his arm slid over my tummy and gripped my waist, pulling me closer.

"Dora, don't argue" he grumbled.

"Ok" I whispered, closing my eyes. And, being daring, I put my arm around his waist. He didn't protest, but he drifted off to sleep. I lay thinking, maybe Sirius was right. I mean, look how Remus just was with me. How intimate he was making us. I sighed and snuggled closer, closing my eyes and drifting off quickly. I would think on it later, but for now I was content.

When I woke up I was warm and comfortable, and as I opened my eyes I found a chocolaty brown pair staring back at me. Mine and Remus's noses were almost touching, and he seemed to have only just woken up himself.

"Hey" I whispered stifling a yawn.

"Hey" he whispered back. "Did you know you have terrible bed hair" he asked, suddenly sitting himself up and putting a hand to his head. His hair was all over the place too. I sat up and grabbed the bottle of potion Sirius had given me, and gave it to Remus.

"Speak for yourself" I said, as he took the potion gratefully and downed it. Thankfully, my head felt clear and was no longer pounding. I suspected it was mid-afternoon, possibly fast approaching evening.

"Thanks for this" he said, giving me the bottle back. I put it back on top of the draw next to the bed. "I guess we'd better get up" he suggested.

"I guess we should" I sighed; he looked over at me and raised a hand to my cheek, to turn me to face him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worry written all over his face. I honestly didn't know what was wrong, but I felt more connected with Remus at the moment, and I didn't want to lose that feeling.

"Nothing's wrong" I smiled, before brushing his hand with mine and then placing his hand on the bed. I pulled the covers off me and slipped out. He did the same on the other side.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I just think I should get home. Have a shower, change my clothes, stuff like that" I trailed off, aimlessly.

"Oh, ok" he replied, simply, knowing better than to push me. We walked silently out the room together, only then realising that I'd never actually been in that particular room before, but because it was the first room up only one flight of stairs, perhaps it had been the easiest one. I stumbled a bit on the stairs, probably because I still had those god damned heels on; and the short dress. Remus put his arm on my waist and helped me down the stairs so I wouldn't fall. He walked me to the door like a gentlemen, and when he gave me a hug goodbye, I felt like pulling away a little and kissing him goodbye instead.

"I should go see Sirius. Thanks for an enjoyable night" he whispered.

"You're welcome. See you around, Remus" I whispered back. He opened the door for me and just as I stuck a foot out the door, I turned back quickly, and kissed him lightly on the cheek, lingering just a second longer than usual. I then turned away and staggered down the steps, hoping very much that Remus would be ok with me doing what I did. As I spun to apparate, I saw Remus touching his cheek with his palm, smiling slightly as he shut the door. That tiny gesture gave me hope that there had been some truth in Sirius's words. Taking a step off the curb, I disapparated.

**Hello again! *waves*. Sorry that chapter was so long. They seem to be getting longer and longer. I like that everyone adds me to their favourites and alerts, but please please please review. All reviews welcome, even if you just follow the example of another reviewer, who sent a smiley face. But of course, a bit more feedback is appreciated. Please. Oh and I baked some cyber mince pies, to get us in the spirit. *gurugirl signing off* x**


	28. When Things Go Horribly Wrong

**Ok, not as big as the last one, but still pretty big. I'm updating today for several reasons, and just to let you know, this is an earlier update than I'd planned. The reasons are that I finished this chapter and really wanted to put it up. And also... it's a SNOW DAY! Yes people, it is the last day of term for me and it's snowing. It's been snowing since 6pm last night, and my school has been shut! If you could see out my window you would love it, the view is like the snowy scene on a Christmas card. Thank you for all your reviews, please those who do review keep reviewing, and those who haven't yet please just one little review. Come on, it's Christmas. Anyway, I'll let you read the chapter now...**

_**Edited: 16/05/11  
**_

When things go horribly wrong

_There was no way of knowing, when I woke up this morning, that things would go horribly wrong. I hadn't seen this coming, but now I was standing in the middle of it, trying desperately to protect myself against the onslaught of curses. All the while she was coming at me, laughing. I've never been more scared in my life. If only, this morning, I'd known then what I know now..._

_8.25am._

I was snoozing lightly, my head on my desk, my eyes shut and my arms folded under my head, as a sort of pillow. I'd just come of guard duty, and had been spotted by a fellow Auror, and so that I didn't arouse suspicion, I went straight to work. I had been hoping Kingsley would be in soon; because I had no-one else to talk to now that Matt was in the States, but had found myself drifting off to sleep instead.

The weeks leading up to this point hadn't been particularly interesting, nothing exciting had happened, except that there were a few Dementor attacks that the Ministry hushed up. I felt so dirty when I had to hush things up, but the Order had reassured me that it was best, and that I wasn't to worry. They were a sort of comfort to me, as the Ministry got worse and worse.

And as for my parents, they still didn't know I was in the Order, and I preferred it that way. I didn't want to be interrogated, and surely something about Sirius would have slipped out. And no-one was to know about Sirius. I had been round my parents once, just for a couple of hours before excusing myself for work, a.k.a. guard duty, and all had been fine. Except my mum said she missed me greatly, yawn. And yes that was a proper yawn; I've just opened my eyes and yawned.

I stretched my arms above my head and then rubbed the sleep dust from my eyes. My small clock showed 8.30am, I'd been here since five o'clock this morning. Maybe Kingsley was in now. Should I go check it out? I have nothing else to do; all my paperwork was filed yesterday. I pushed back my chair and stood up, rolling my shoulders back to get rid of some of the stiffness that had come to them.

Moving to my door I let me mind drift freely to a certain werewolf that I was hopelessly in love with. I admitted it freely now, I guess I'd had enough of denying it to myself, and to others for that matter. Now, if anyone, mainly Sirius, brought it up, I would neither confirm nor deny it. I was seriously considering telling Remus now. Going over everything for the past couple of weeks had put everything into perspective for me. And which would be worse, telling him and getting rejected or not telling him and never knowing, I told myself. Never knowing if there was a possibility that we could be together… I would need to do something, and it seemed that the time to do something was coming closer all the time. Wow, lots of 'time' in that thought, shame about reality though.

I walked down the corridor, passing busy wizards as I went, heading for Kingsley's cubicle. The windows portrayed a sunny day, and had done so for a while because the department that deals with them got a pay rise. I got to Kingsley's cubicle, which was larger than the rest of ours, and tapped, lightly on the door. I waited for a few seconds before the deep rumbling voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt was heard.

"Come in". I slid the door open and stepped into the room, and then shut the door behind me. Kingsley looked up from his desk at me, he had a number of files and notes scattered on his desk, and looked slightly distressed.

"Morning Kingsley" I greeted, trying to sound like a cheery morning person, and failing miserably. He smiled grimly though, as if he appreciated the gesture.

"Morning Tonks" he greeted, before taking out his wand and waving it innocently, but I knew he'd cast a charm on the office. "I need to talk to someone I can trust, and that person so happens to be you. I don't want to be overheard".

"Of course not" I said, lightly, flicking my wand. A chair appeared behind me, and I sank into it. "Fire away".

"It's a complicated subject to talk about. I'm not even one hundred per cent sure that it's true yet, but I have a hunch" Kingsley explained.

"Come on Kingsley. What is it? You're worrying me" I said, wondering why he looked like someone had ruffled his feathers.

"It's nothing to worry about, at the moment at least" he said, sighing. Then he looked me squarely in the eyes and said calmly, "Scrimgeour plans to overthrow Fudge". I tried to look shocked, but couldn't manage it. Ever since the day I'd read the letter on Scrimgeour's desk, I'd suspected something. Though I had to admit I was slightly worried.

"I take it by that look that you're not surprised" he said.

"No, I've actually suspected for a while, but haven't really thought about it" I explained. "Why do you need to talk to me about it?"

"Thought you'd want to know, and sometimes keeping things a secret from everyone can put unnecessary strain on yourself. Besides, you deserve a say in the matter" he explained, in his calm deep voice.

"I could say that anyone would be better than Fudge, but Scrimgeour? I don't know. I know he's my boss and everything but he seems kind of, ruthless. Like he'd do anything, and it depends on the way he goes at this" I said, hurriedly.

"Scrimgeour is ruthless, but when the truth is revealed that Voldemort" I shivered, "has returned, I suspect that there will be a public outcry. Fudge will no longer be seen as a trustworthy leader and Scrimgeour has a perfect chance to seize power" Kingsley explained.

"The perfect plan, right?" I said.

"It would seem that way" he sighed.

"I take it you're not too happy about it either?" I guessed. He looked at me curiously, like he was wondering how I knew. I shrugged.

"Not really. Fudge and Scrimgeour's methods are completely different" he muttered, seeming for the first time, confused.

"I guess we just go with it, and do the best we can with what we have, right?" I suggested my shoulder heavy. I was stressed and tired, and Kingsley was more confused and stressed than I'd ever seen him.

"It's probably best" he agreed, nodding at me.

"Kingsley, your proper stressing over this, isn't you?" I asked, curiously. He said nothing, but I knew he was. "And I think I know what you need, though it's quite early in the morning" I pondered out loud.

"What are you talking about Tonks?" he asked a hint of smirk on his face.

"Meet me at the entrance to the Ministry at noon" I said, smiling. He needed it, and I definitely needed it. Let's just say, comfort eating was better when you had someone to share the experience with.

"Will this have anything to so do with escaping the Ministry for the afternoon" he smirked, looking a slight more cheerful.

"Yep" I answered, simply.

"Ok then".

It was noon. Well, there was five minutes to go, but still, it was close enough. I'd spent the time in between my small talk with Kingsley and now, writing random sentences and doodling on old reports that I really shouldn't have doodled on. Some of the worse doodles were hearts surrounding the words _'Tonks love Remus' _and even the words _'Mrs Dora Lupin' _written in big swirly writing. It was safe to say that my feelings for Remus were completely out of my control now.

I stood at the Ministry entrance, waiting impatiently for Kingsley, in common Muggle clothing. I had a light pink, short sleeve blouse, jeans, black boots and a long red coat. I looked completely odd and mismatched, and that's exactly how I liked it. I looked into the Ministry and saw Kingsley walking casually towards me.

"Afternoon Miss Tonks" he said, formally, just in case any Ministry employees were about to come through the doors. "Are you going to tell me what we're doing?" he whispered, though it was more of a low rumble.

"Yes, but first-" I said, getting out my wand and flicking it towards him. His wizarding robes turned instantly into a shirt and black trousers, though his shoes were fine, and I left them. He looked smart/casual. I could have made him a punk, but that would have been cruel. "There".

"Tonks, why am I dressed like this?" he asked, tugging on his shirt.

"Don't worry; you can change it back later. But were going into Muggle London, so you can't wear robes" I explained, starting to walk out of the Ministry. He followed, catching up with ease.

"These are comfortable" he said, casually. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"To a little Muggle fast food joint. I need comfort food and you're coming with me" I said, happily.

"Were going to eat?" he asked, his eyebrows rising.

"What do you usually do at this time of day?" I asked.

"Point taken" he said. "But how will this help? And why do you need comfort food?" he asked. So many bloody questions…

"It's an afternoon away from the office for you. Too chill and eat junk, and not worry. And for me, I need comfort food for personal reasons" I said, stiffly.

"Ok". He didn't say anything after that, and we walked down the Muggle streets side by side, each lost in our own thoughts. My thoughts were, as always, on a certain werewolf by the name of Remus Lupin. But Kingsley's were probably on the Ministry and work. I bet the only thing he ever thought about was work. Did he not have a life? Did he have a partner or anything? There was so much mystery surrounding Kingsley, I didn't even know if he lived in London. I had presumed he did, but I may not be right.

"Where do you live?" I blurted out. He blinked at me curiously.

"Surrey" he said, in his deep voice. "According to the Muggles in the village, it's forty minutes away from central London, on one of their Muggle contraptions. Umm, I think it's a Tranny or something?"

I burst out laughing. _Tranny? _I clutched my sides, and wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes. "Sorry Kingsley, but I think you mean a Train" I choked out, bursting into more laughter. Kingsley rolled his eyes at me in a _'get over it' _fashion, that didn't suit him, but only made me laugh more.

"Ok Tonks calm down" he said, exasperated. We'd just reached the fast food joint now anyway, so I started breathing and calming myself down. I pulled open the door and me and Kingsley walked in. My nostrils were instantly filled with sweet smells, which made my mouth water. Kingsley stood in the line before me, and was looking at the boards of food with interest. I looked at them as well. Then Kingsley turned to me quickly.

"I don't have any Muggle money" he whispered.

"Don't worry. I do" I said, and I handed him a ten pound note. "Your food shouldn't be too much, just order what you want, give them that and take the change they give you".

And so we ordered, the man at the counter was really dumb and mixed up our orders twice, until finally Kingsley got annoyed and called for someone else to serve. Save to say that bloke on the till got a verbal bashing from his boss. From what I heard of the conversation/rant, this wasn't the first time the man had mucked up orders. Apparently he did it on a regular basis. We found ourselves a table by the window, and sat eating our comfort food in silence. I'd never been alone with Kingsley before, and suddenly, felt quite uncomfortable. I soon realised I needed to be around more people, but Kingsley still had to stay away from work. And though his body wasn't in the ministry, his mind certainly was. I enjoyed my meal, and he seemed to enjoy his too. The last thing I had was a big slice of chocolate cake on a plastic plate, with a plastic Spork to eat it with. Muggles are so weird. But it was becoming more crowded, and I decided we should go. But don't fear. I was taking my cake with me.

"Come on Kingsley, let's get out of here" I said, standing up and picking up my cake. He nodded, and we weaved through the Muggles and exited the restaurant. The air outside was nice, but the sun had gone in, and the sky was darkening.

"Thanks Tonks. I probably never would have done that without you" he said, in his deep rumbling voice.

"I know" I said, cheerfully. "Anyway, let's get to Grimmauld Place" I suggested, lightly. Reason one: more people. Reason two: I could eat my cake. Reason three: fingers crossed, Remus would be there.

"Why?" he asked, genuinely surprised.

"So I can eat my cake, and you can tell all about Scrimgeour taking over the world" I said, dramatically, walking to an alley.

"The Ministry, not world" he said.

"Isn't it the same thing?" I asked, smirking.

"No" he answered. "So that's why you want to go back to Grimmauld Place. No other reasons?" he asked, lightly as I pulled out my wand.

"Nope" I said, lightly, but my stomach knotted. "This is going to be difficult" I said, trying to hold my cake and turn.

"Ok then" he said, his tone was light, but underlined heavily with 'I'm just humouring you'. We both disapparated at the same time. I landed clumsily on the pavement, my cake was luckily still with me and intact. Kingsley was beside me, looking at me with amused eyes. As we walked up the steps I decided to talk about what had been on Kingsley's mind.

"So, still worried about Scrimgeour?" I asked, as we walked up the steps.

"No, just when I'm being kept in the loop" he said, totally confusing me. I opened the door.

"But isn't that a good thing?" I asked. He shut the door behind us. I realised I still had chocolate cake in my hand, and held the cake in one hand, and used the Spork to shovel some cake into my mouth.

"Not always, sometimes knowing to much can be a bad thing" he muttered. "But at least I can leave a report, and keep the order in the know".

"Yeah, they need to know. I like being in the Order" I said, suddenly. "I feel like I actually belong". He stopped and looked at me curiously, and the kitchen door swung open in front of us. We both jumped and saw Mad-eye standing in the door, Sirius pushing past him.

"Hey Tonks, shouldn't you be at work?" Sirius asked.

"Should be" I shrugged. Kingsley saved me from explaining exactly why we weren't in work by speaking up:

"I have a report on things that are happening at the Ministry" Kingsley explained. Mad-eye nodded and gestured him past into the kitchen as I scooped a bit more cake on my Spork. As they disappeared, Sirius turned to me with a smirk.

"Remus is upstairs, go get him. I'm sure he'd like to know your here" he commanded playfully, but I knew what he was doing. Still I wouldn't rise to it. He was trying to make me go all embarrassed and refuse.

"Sure" I shrugged, walking up the stairs without a backwards glance. I shovelled some more cake into my mouth. As I approached Remus's room, even the cake couldn't calm my nerves. I was going to see Remus, maybe just for a couple of minutes, but still, I was happy. Butterflies danced in my stomach as I reached his room. I knocked and waited. And knocked and waited. Remus wasn't answering, so I put my hand on the door knob and turned, pushing the door open and walking in. As I closed the door behind me, another one opened; one of the ones on the far side of the room. The one that lead to the bathroom. And out walked Remus, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. And now I knew exactly why Sirius had sent me up here. I was glued to the spot, trying not to drool and staring openly. He stopped still as he saw me.

"Dora" he spluttered, grabbing at his towel to make sure it didn't fall down, and just then I couldn't help it. I giggled, and then I laughed. He laughed too, but it was uncertain. Soon I was able to contain myself, and allow my eyes a quick wander.

"Sirius is a git" I breathed out.

"He sent you up here? He knew I was having a shower" said Remus, disbelievingly.

"He has his reasons" I said, vaguely. "I'll just turn around and let you get dressed" I said, quickly, spinning around and shoving cake into my mouth, to stop myself turning back around and pouncing. I let myself think about what I'd seen. Remus was beautiful. His skin was gorgeous and seemed to be glowing, his scars made a pattern over his torso and his wet hair dripped down his neck and chest. Oh god, kill my over active imagination.

"Ok, I'm done" Remus said, quietly. He was sitting on the bed, his beautiful torso now covered with a shirt and brown jumper. He smiled at me nervously and I walked clumsily over to him. I sat on the bed beside him.

"Sorry Remus, I didn't know. If I had, I never would have...you know..."

"I know Dora" he said. "Is that chocolate cake?" he asked, licking his lips. I spooned another bit into my mouth and pulled the Spork out slowly, teasing him. It was quite amusing.

"Like what you see?" I asked. I had meant the cake, but he wasn't looking at the cake. He was looking at me.

"Definitely" he breathed, smirking. I felt myself moving closer to him. Why was I being so flirty? Well, I was going to have to do something sometime, why not now?

"Oh really" I asked. I was really close to him now, but...I couldn't do it. I just stopped, embarrassed. What if I did something, and he didn't feel the same. I wouldn't let myself ruin my friendship with Remus, and so I leaned away. Was it just me, or was there a flash of disappointment in Remus's eyes? I got a bit of cake on my Spork and passed it to Remus. He ate the cake quietly, but when he went to get more I pulled the cake away from him.

"Mine" I said, childishly.

"Oh really?" he asked, making to get the cake, but I twisted my body around and grinned.

"Mine". But I'd made the wrong move, from behind me; he dug his fingers into my ribs and started tickling. He kept whispering that he wanted cake, while tickling me furiously. I let go of the cake by accident and it fell to the floor, but cake didn't seem to bother us anymore. I started to tickle back and he squealed like a little girl when I tickled his ribs.

"Aha, Mr Lupin is ticklish" I said, triumphantly, and started to tickle him again. Soon our tickling turned into wrestling, and by the end of it, Remus was pinning me down to the bed, and laughing as I squirmed. Curse me over active imagination; it was coming into play again. Today was turning into a really good day.

"Pray for mercy" he said, laughing. "You knocked my books over".

"Never! You knocked my cake" I squealed.

"So? Cake, books, cake, books? Books are more important" He said, with conviction. I scoffed.

"You didn't seem to think that when you were practically wrestling me for it". That got him. I laughed inwardly. And then everything changed didn't it, it always does. The laughter died and we were left with tension, and he was on top of me. And, oh damn it, this was too much. His grip relaxed on my arms, but he didn't move. I must have begged him with my eyes to get closer to me, or maybe it was instinct, but he leaned down. I got a hand free and clutched the front of his shirt. Tonks, what are you doing girl! Just then the door banged open, and Remus and I froze. Sirius stood there, looking smug.

"You two getting frisky there?" he said.

"Yes we were, now bugger off Padfoot" said Remus, chuckling. He let me go anyway and I sat up, feeling slightly embarrassed and awkward.

"Want me for something?" Remus asked, pleasantly.

"Downstairs" Sirius replied, simply. Remus got up and crossed the room. He winked at me and left, I felt all giggly again. Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"I told you to get him downstairs, not get him into bed" he said.

"I wish" I muttered. Sirius laughed heartily, though it was slightly bitter.

"You should just tell him" he said.

"Maybe later" I said, feeling slightly annoyed by the interruption, but slightly relieved too. "I have to clean this chocolate cake". Sirius nodded understandingly and left the room. In truth, all it took was one simple spell to clean, and I was out on the landing and walking down the stairs within a minute of Sirius leaving. As I walked towards the kitchen, I heard two voices just outside the door, walking in front of me. I knew who it was, and hung back.

"-you so want her" Sirius was saying. I froze.

"Shut up, Padfoot" Remus responded. Well, he didn't deny it. That's a good sign, right?

"Come on Moony, you were pining her to the bed" Sirius said, if I was anymore frozen, I would have been an iceberg.

"We were fighting for cake. Nothing more" Remus said, shortly. I unfroze and walked towards them, they were about to push open the door. Sirius scoffed at Remus, disbelievingly.

"You would have liked to have done more though?" Sirius asked. I came right up behind them. They hadn't noticed me.

"I-" but before he could say anything else, Sirius spotted me and jumped ten feet in the air. Remus turned startled, and I rolled my eyes.

"Are you two just going to stand there gossiping, or are we going into the kitchen?" I asked, smirking at the expressions. They both nodded and Remus hurried through the door, I was about to follow but Sirius grabbed my arm, and pulled me to face him. "What?"

"Promise me you'll tell him. Sometime, anytime, but just promise you'll do it" said Sirius, urgently.

"You really want me to do this, don't you?" I asked.

"I care for you both, and besides, something good has to come out of this war" he sighed, looking older than himself by miles. I felt a sudden rush of affection for him. He was my cousin, he was family, and I would do it for him. I gave him a quick hug then pulled away.

"Ok Sirius" I replied, smiling slightly. He smiled back and gestured towards the door. I walked through and he followed me. When we got into the kitchen I saw Mad-eye, Kingsley and Remus talking in the corner, all with slightly pained faces. Although, Mad-eye always looked like that. To my surprise, Mad-eye and Kingsley started walking over to me, and then past me, to the door.

"Where are you two going?" I asked.

"To check out some things at the Ministry" Mad-eye said, gruffly. Kingsley sent me, 'The Look'.

"Ahh, the whole Scrimgeour conspiracy theory" I said, understandingly.

"What 'Scrimgeour conspiracy theory'?" Remus asked, but I waved an impatient hand at him. And then made shooing motions to Kingsley and Mad-eye. Kingsley grinned and Mad-eye ruffled my hair. I swatted his hand away, and they exited the kitchen.

A couple of minutes after they were gone, Remus, Sirius and I were standing in silence until a lot of banging was heard from upstairs, like elephants charging in a confined space, smashing a million objects.

"What the hell is that?" asked Sirius, frowning.

"Master's beast" said a voice from the door. Kreacher had reared his ugly head. I hadn't seen him come in, and more importantly, I hadn't seen him in ages. I swear he hadn't shown himself around Grimmauld place anymore. Maybe he hid away all day.

"Buckbeak is not a beast" spat Sirius, pushing Kreacher aside and charging up the stairs. Remus ran after him, and to avoid being stuck on my own with Kreacher, I went too. When we got to Sirius's mothers room, Remus and Sirius went straight in, without bowing, because Buckbeak was used to them, but I hovered by the door. I had only met the hippogriff once. Buckbeak, from what I could see, had a slash on his hind quarters, like someone had cut him with a knife. Sirius was calming him down, and Remus was hovering by the slash, peering at me as if trying to determine what to do.

Sirius and Remus starting conversing with each other, and then Remus took a step back as Sirius muttered a spell, pointing it at Buckbeak. He moved his wand slowly over the cut, and I was touched by how much care he put into it. It must have taken him about fifth teen minutes, maybe longer. When he was done, both Sirius and Remus stroked the hippogriff. Then the hippogriff saw me, and started moving, snorting at me and flicking his tail. He was unsure of me. Both men turned around and Sirius came over.

"Want to stroke him Tonks?" he asked, smiling. He smiled back at the hippogriff.

"I don't think he likes me" I said, looking at the hippogriff uncertainly.

"That's because you haven't bowed, he sees you as a threat. You have to prove you're not going to hurt him. Which reminds me" he stopped. "How did he get that cut?" he question was rhetorical, but I answered him anyway.

"Maybe he knocked something and it slashed him, this room does have some pretty weird things in it" I suggested, looking around the grim room.

"Guess so" he said. "Come on Tonks, just do as I say, and you'll be fine" he said, leading me towards the startled hippogriff. "Right make eye contact". I did. "Bow, don't blink, keep eye contact". I did. I was waiting for a while when the hippogriff began to size me up, and eventually bowed. Sirius pushed me forward as I stood up straight. I reached up and petted Buckbeak's beak, while my hands shook like mad. Sirius petted Buckbeak's side and Remus came and stood by me. I was surprised when he took my hand in his, but not displeased.

"Do this" he whispered, making my hand stroke Buckbeak's neck. Buckbeak seemed to like that. And so did I. Remus was standing behind me, with his hand in mine, stroking Buckbeak. I leaned into him, and was content until Sirius butted in, stamping his foot and glaring.

"What?" Remus and I asked, at the same time. It was like we shared a private joke that even we didn't know about. Sirius just sighed, and mimed banging his head against the wall. I giggled and Remus chuckled behind me. Just then a doe Patronus danced into the room.

_"Where's Black?" _came the voice of Severus Snape from the doe's mouth. The doe then disappeared.

"He's at Grimmauld place with me and Tonks" Remus muttered, sending a Patronus straight back. Then turning to us he said, "Why would Severus want to know that?"

"Because he's a git" said Sirius, shortly, before storming out of the room.

"I guess we better follow him?" I phrased this as a question, and Remus nodded, and let go of my hand. We walked all the way downstairs, two steps behind Sirius. Careful to give him space, but ready if he snapped in his newly found grumpy mood. We went into the drawing room and sat down, and a little while later the front door of Grimmauld Place slammed. We were unconcerned as we heard Mad-eye stumping down the hall, and coming into the drawing room, with Kingsley behind him.

"Hey guys, how'd it go?" I asked, lightly. Everyone looked so mournful at the moment; they were making the atmosphere around them that way too. But before they could answer, the doe Patronus suddenly danced into the room. I always wondered why Snape's Patronus was a doe.

_"Potter and friends may have gone to Ministry; Potter believes the dark lord has Black there. I'm going to search grounds. As many as possible should go to department of mysteries. Potter knows of the place. Dumbledore will be there soon, Black doesn't go, he stays to explain to Dumbledore"._ The Patronus was gone.

"What!" shouted Sirius? "My godson believes what, and I should WHAT!"

"Sirius calm down, we'll go to the Ministry, we have to save the kids. You stay like Snape said" I said, quickly, jumping up from my chair.

"Like hell I will" said Sirius.

"No Sirius, you're staying. And if I know Harry, he's like James. He'll have gone to the Ministry" said Remus, quickly.

"Shouldn't someone send a message to Snape?" I asked.

"I'll do it" said Mad-eye pulling out his wand. "But we need to stop dawdling, we have to go. Now!" he said, casting a Patronus. It was a Rottweiler.

"Sirius you're an escaped convict, you're not coming" Remus suddenly shouted, making me jump. Obviously he'd been arguing with Sirius in hushed tones.

"He's my godson, and if you think for a second I'm staying here, while he's there" he breathed. "So help me, I will jinx you" shouted Sirius back.

"No Sirius, you shouldn't come" said Kingsley.

"Absolutely not" agreed Mad-eye.

"Let him come" I said, quieter than everyone else, but I was heard. They all looked at me. "Standing around here bickering is not going to help, and Harry's his godson, I just think..." I trailed off.

"Who will explain to Dumbledore?"

"Kreacher!" Sirius bellowed. Kreacher snapped into the room. "No doubt you've heard everything that's going on, so when Dumbledore arrives you tell him everything. We're going to the Department of Mysteries". And then Sirius stormed out of the room, followed hastily by Remus and Kingsley. I ran down the hall with Mad-eye beside me. We shot out of the door and disapparated so fast, I swear if you'd have blinked, you would have missed us. This was actually a good thing.

Getting into the Ministry was a blur, a strange surreal blur. We ran through the Atrium, Sirius complained to himself that the lifts were to slow, and we ran down the steps to get to the door, without speaking to anyone. Surprisingly, no-one seemed to be in the Ministry, no employees, no nothing. Bad sign.

We were coming up to the door, I couldn't hear anything from inside, but knew that didn't mean a thing. The Department of Mysteries had like a thick veil over it, shielding it from the outside world. Mad-eye opened it and we entered the room with the doors.

"Don't shut the door" I said, quickly, knowing we would need the light for few minutes.

"What do we do now?" asked Sirius, looking at all the doors. Everyone turned to look at me and Kingsley. Kingsley frowned, obviously puzzled over what to do. It was taking too long.

"Right, move" I said, quickly, gesturing to let me through. "They spin" I whispered, and as I did the doors span. I remembered the way to the weird room, it wasn't called that of course but I named it that. In that room were a number of doors, we'd have to just work it out. "Look straight ahead, third on the right, that one!" I pointed.

"Is it the prophecy room?" asked Mad-eye.

"No, but with all the doors, do you really expect them to have stayed in that room?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Without waiting for a reply I ran toward the door and yanked it open. Inside were the most bizarre objects ever. "Don't look at them" I said, "just grab a door".

Me, Remus and Mad-eye clunked towards a door at the end, while Kingsley and Sirius took the one two doors away from them. As we ran, Remus asked, "how come you know this stuff?"

"I had to do navigation down here in Auror training. Hated it" I added. Remus ran to the door and opened it. What waited for us inside was chaos. People who I knew to be Deatheaters were standing around Harry and some other boy, and Harry was holding the prophecy. As our door slammed open, so did Sirius and Kingsley's. Thank god they'd got the right room. Remus was first rushing down our steps, though Sirius had beaten everyone and Kingsley was right behind him. Mad-eye had no trouble getting down, but soon hexes were flying everywhere and the world was a blur. I tried my best to get down the steps, sending curses as I went, but there was no doubt that it was tricky.

People were shouting, I sent a curse at Malfoy but then she was coming towards me. And I was trying to fight. All I could think about was getting out of this mess, getting the kids. But she was coming at me, screaming blue murder and throwing hexes, I dodged and sent curses back, but all the while the stairs were crumbling beneath me. And Bellatrix had more skill. Another death eater sent a hex towards me, which shot just over my shoulder. I heard people shouting curses and fighting desperately. I could never have prepared myself for this.

There was no way of knowing, when I woke up this morning, that things would go horribly wrong. I hadn't seen this coming, but now I was standing in the middle of it, trying desperately to protect myself against the onslaught of curses. All the while she was coming at me, laughing. I've never been more scared in my life. If only, this morning, I'd known then what I know now.

But I hadn't, and I sent a curse at her, which slashed the side of her face, this seemed to make her angrier. Everyone else was pushed out of my mind as I fought Bellatrix, my aunt, who looked as though she wanted nothing more in the world but to kill me.

"Dance little girl" she cackled, as I dodged curses. It made me angrier; I sent another hex down towards her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mad-eye lying on the floor. My mind buzzed, where was everyone? I tried to see where they were whilst dodging curses. I couldn't see Harry anymore.

"Ickle Nymphadora, half-blood freak" Bella cackled.

"Don't call me that!" I shrieked, sending a curse at her that made her stumble. Part of me wondered how she knew my name, but the other part screamed fight! Sirius was duelling fiercely with Dolohov, Kingsley was battling two on one and I couldn't even see Remus. _Please let him be ok_, I thought as I tried to run down a few more steps. Bellatrix snarled and shot a hex at me. I was too late reacting.

And then it hit me. Like a whip through my entire body, buzzing, stinging and then agonising electricity shot through me, making my muscles stretch and tense. I wanted to scream, but it was like being tortured. I was being weakened. I felt myself fading. _This is it Tonks, your life, over. _And I felt myself go limp, my eyes closed as I fell sideways. I didn't feel the stones seats beneath me as I fell onto them. I didn't hear the triumphant laughter or the scream of fury. I didn't see the world around me fade grey and then to black. I was already drifting.

**Aha. It's still snowing and it's freezing. I have a hot cup of cocoa, and am willing to make you all a mug if ya like. The 'tranny' comment was inspired by real life. My mate was trying to say she was going on a train, but we kept interrupting her, she got confused and said tranny instead of train. LOL XD. Ok, please review; they can be my Christmas presents! Please. Merry Xmas and have a Happy New Year! Luv Gurugirl xx**


	29. Fading in and out

**This is the last chapter of the year, people! We're moving into 2010 and ya know what? I think it's going to be a very good year. Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter; I was blown away by the response I got. Now, in this chapter, I appreciate that it probably wasn't like this, and she was probably just knocked out, but I wrote it like this because... well, I just felt like it, okay? It was more fun to write it this way, and I hope you'll like it.**

_**Edited: 16/05/11  
**_

Fading in and out

Everything faded in and out around me, though I knew, deep down, it was really me who was fading in and out. Pain shot through my body, and I caught snippets of conversation that made no sense.

"-Emergency room in-"

"-To halt the curse-"

"-Stable her-".

"-fitting..."

I fade out and the world around me was silent again. The next time I came round the voices were more panicked, though I still couldn't make sense of what they were saying.

"Get her in-"

"-this now, before-".

"-Spreading fast-"

"Dora".

But the world drifted away, and went silent once more. I faded in once more, the pain shooting through me in agonising amounts, showing me blackness and horror that I couldn't describe.

"-tie her down".

"Knock her out, she's-".

"-fitting, do it now".

This time the world went abruptly black, and I felt myself sinking into the darkness willingly, instead of being crushed by it. And then the world grew light again. Above me was a blue sky, mixed with dusky pink, and I was laying on something soft. Something natural, something perfect. And I could move, just a little at a time but I was moving. And there was no pain. I wiggled my fingers and my hands, and then I pushed myself up with my arms. I had so much strength. Was this what it was like then? When you pass on, is this what happens? I wondered. I knew I should feel sad but I couldn't bring myself to be.

I was sitting in a field, and a little way in front of me was a beautiful sunset. That explained why the blue sky was mixed with dusky pink colour. The grass beneath me was green and lush, and all around was quiet. But there was no wind to whisper through the trees, no birds to sing merrily and no-one around to stop the loneliness that was starting to surround me.

But this place was peaceful. I wasn't in pain here, I could relax here. Still the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up, and I shivered though it wasn't cold. This place was odd, and all of a sudden, my mood changed. I didn't like this place, I didn't like being alone. If this is death, I definitely don't like it.

From behind me, beeping noises were heard. I sprang to my feet and turned around but there was no-one there. No picture, just noises; a beep, like the rhythm of a heart. But it frightened me. And in an instant I ran away from it, towards the sunset. I know, very Muggle movie. But the beeping got further away and I was glad until someone called my name.

"Tonks? Tonks don't be stubborn" a voice from in front of me said. I skidded to a halt. "Don't be stubborn, go back" said the voice again. The beeps were interrupted by another voice slashing through them.

"She's fading, the curse is halted, but I don't think it's enough. Her body is rejecting our efforts" said a voice, and then I understood. The beeping was my heart, and I wasn't dead, but I soon would be. These people were in the real world, I was trapped in my head. And the reason I was rejecting it was because...

"I ran away" I whispered, talking for the first time.

"Go back Tonks, go back" said the voice from in front of me. The voice behind me started to fade, as if it was leaving me. And in front of me started to turn black, engulfing the fields, creeping its way to me. And now I knew what I had to do. I span on my heel and ran back the way I came, but the voice didn't get any nearer, it was getting away. And I had a horrible feeling, if I didn't catch it up...

"Come back, come back" I screamed, running as fast as I could through the perfect field that was turning to mud and dust beneath me. "Please, wait!" I screamed, frantically, as the sky was slowly swallowed by darkness. I wanted to go back, I had to keep running. I needed to go back for my parents, for the Order, for Remus. Remus

"Please, let me go back" I cried, running and slipping, trying desperately to scramble towards the now faded voice. The beep of the heart was getting fainter and slower now. "No, no no no!" I screamed, my cheeks turning damp. I skidded all over as the perfect world turned to mud and dust, and dark. I fell with a crash onto my front, and I could hardly breathe. Tears poured down my cheeks as the heart beat became so faint; it seemed to not be there at all.

"Please don't leave me here" I whimpered, and the beating stopped. The darkness was about to engulf me, I tried to stand but it was impossible. Then as if someone had heard my struggles, I was pulled to my feet from behind and roughly pushed forward. Before I could even look to see what had pushed me, a bolt of electricity, it seemed, shot through me. The beeping began again, stronger and stronger. And then my eyes closed and I fell peacefully to the ground.

I was breathing, and I was laying on something that felt incredibly scratchy. My eyes wanted to open, but pain shot through my body, and stung me. My muscles were weak, and I could feel the things around me, and inside me. I desperately needed to open my eyes, and forced them open. It was like when you were really tired, and knew you needed to open your eyes and wake up, but you really didn't want to. It was like my body was silently telling me, five more minutes.

But I forced my eyes open anyway, and was met with a bright light, on a white ceiling. The opposite colour to black; how refreshing. My eyelids were heavy, and my body was weak and numb, apart from if I moved sharply, then it was painful. I tried to lift myself up into a sitting position, but my arms wouldn't co-operate. Everything was quiet around me, but not the horrible quietness I'd endured earlier on, if in fact that had all happened. This quietness had the faint buzzing, or clinking noise filling it.

"Nymphadora" came a voice to the right off me. I turned my head abruptly to the voice, and my neck clicked horribly. I groaned in pain, as I looked up into the face of my mother, Andromeda Tonks. Looking past her, I saw other beds, but only a few were occupied. It seemed I was at the far end of the ward. Maybe if I turned my head to the left, there would be a window.

"Nymphadora" mum repeated, slightly more worried than before. I opened my mouth, but it was dry. I struggled to form words.

"Mum" I whispered, finally, my voice sounded croaky and rough.

"Oh Nymphadora, you had us all so worried" she whispered, her voice full of emotion. She came closer to the bed and took my hand in hers. She looked at me with sparkling eyes, due to the fact she was almost crying.

"I- where am I?" I asked my throat loosening and my voice getting stronger.

"You're in St. Mungos, sweetie. You were duelling and got hit with a curse. It spread through your body, and attacked you vital organs. We thought we'd lose our little Nymph" mum said, a stray tear falling from her eye. She'd only ever called me her little Nymph when I was younger.

"S'ok mum, how long?" I asked, struggling to talk.

"Awhile" she said, not exactly answering my question. "It's been hell; your dad and I have been swapping from day to day, watching over you. You were so lifeless. And he never leaves" she said, nodding to the other side of the bed. I looked at her curiously, before turning my head to the other side. My neck clicked again, and I whimpered at the little shot of pain that stabbed my throat.

In a chair by my bedside, Remus was curled up sideways with his head resting on his knees. His face was towards me, but he was deep in sleep, his face peaceful but pained at the same time. Just to the right of him was a window. And it showed a dark night sky, with millions of glittering stars.

"The longest he's left you is an hour, and that's just to do the basic things" mum explained. I scanned his face hungrily with my eyes, taking in every detail. I thought I'd never see him again, so to see him sleeping peaceful at my bedside, was pretty amazing. I turned reluctantly back to face mum.

"Time" I asked, she looked at a watch on her wrist and squinted at it. Mum had bad eyesight, I remember that. She had glasses, but she was too stubborn to wear them.

"It's about two o'clock in the morning" she said, stifling a yawn. I felt my eyes droop, as if by her telling me the time, had also told my body it was time for even more sleep. "You need sleep".

"So do you" I said, making my voice work. "Go home. Sleep. I'm ok" I managed to croak out, straining my voice. My mum looked unsure, but I nodded to her reassuringly.

"Ok, if you're sure" she said, leaning down and kissing my cheek. "Night Dora, sweet dreams".

"Night mum, love you" I said, closing my eyes and snuggling under the itchy covers.

"Love you too" she whispered. I didn't hear her leave, I was already asleep. Dreaming peacefully and feeling better.

When I woke up next, it was clear to me that I hadn't been asleep long. My muscles seemed less stiff than earlier, and I looked out the window and saw the sun was coming up. If I strained my ears, I could hear the noises from the Muggle streets. But I looked past the window, to the man in the chair next to my bed. Remus was stirring slightly, on the verge of waking up, but not quite there yet. It was amusing to watch. I put my hands on the bed and pushed myself up with my arms. It took me several attempts to sit up, and after each failed attempt I had landed back on the bed with a groan, before finally sitting up and resting against the headboard. I was breathing like I'd just ran race, but I at least knew that I was stronger.

Remus was waking up now, I watched him move around in the chair, before opening his eyes and rubbing them with his hands. He yawned and stretched out; I didn't blame him, that chair look awfully uncomfortable. He hadn't noticed I was awake yet, so I decided to take it upon myself to supply that information.

"Morning" I croaked out. Damn, my voice was still croaky. His head snapped up immediately at the sound of my voice, and he froze, staring at me. Searching my face, as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Dora" he whispered, I smiled. It felt really good to hear him say my name. Like someone who had gone years without water, and then took that first refreshing sip.

"Remus" I croaked back. A wide smile broke across his face, as I said his name.

"Dora, thank god. You were so damaged by that curse; I didn't know what to think. I thought, I thought I was going to lose you" his voice came out as barely a whisper. Full of emotion, just like my mum's had. I moved my hand from under the itchy sheets and held it out to him. He slid his hand into mine, and I squeezed in gently.

"You're not going to lose me, Remus. You'll never lose me. It's going to take more than that old witch to get rid of me" I said, as he pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed it gently, his eyes met mine. They were so beautiful, and held so much depth within them. I remembered the dream, it must have been a dream, I figured, but still, it frightened me. He must have sensed this, and squeezed my hand again.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sincerely.

"I thought that I'd never see you again" I whispered, sounding rather cheesy; although, it didn't seem that bad. He said nothing, probably because he didn't know what to say. But he didn't relinquish the hold on my hand, which I counted as a good thing.

"So, what's been going on, since I was out of it?" I asked, trying to cover up what I'd said previous. "I didn't even think of asking mum last night" I said, more to myself than him.

"You were awake last night? You should have woken me" he said, gently.

"You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you" I said. "So, what has been going on? What happened after, you know..."

"After you were knocked out? Dumbledore showed up, and so did Voldemort, though I didn't see him. Mad-eye was in St. Mungos for a few days, and Kingsley was injured but nothing major. All the kids are at Hogwarts again, all are fine by the way. Ginny sends her best, as well as Molly. And the Ministry admitted they were wrong, there was a big thing about it in the Prophet. And Dumbledore is back at Hogwarts" he rounded off quietly.

"The Ministry admitted they were wrong?" I asked, laughing slightly. "Good. So, this means Sirius is a free man then. He'll be happy" I muttered, smiling, thinking about what it'll be like to see Sirius out of Grimmauld Place. But Remus's face immediately fell. It seemed to darken, like a shadow passing over it. I panicked.

"What's the matter? Has something happened? Is he ok? The Ministry didn't lock him up again, or something?" I asked, my voice suddenly frantic croaking. Remus looked up at me and then looked down at his lap. It was like he was fighting something inside him, and my heart plummeted at the look of torture on his face as he looked up again.

"Dora, I-" he started, biting his lip. "Sirius, Sirius he's-" Remus was struggling for words, but I knew what it meant. Remus didn't need to say it. The struggling for words, the tortured expression, but still, I didn't want to believe it.

"No, Remus. Don't say it. He can't be" I choked out. I felt like a huge hole had just been cut through me. Sirius was so full of life, he was too young, he was a fighter, and how in the world could this have happened?

"Dora" he whispered, gently.

"How? How could it... Just, how?" I asked, frantically searching my own brain for an explanation. Remus took a deep breath.

"After you fell, Sirius ran at Bellatrix, they were duelling but, he just... and she... the veil..." he trailed off, unable to say anything more. He looked completely broken. Bellatrix had killed Sirius. She had taken his life, but she hadn't taken mine. And I was angry, angrier than I'd even been in my life.

"She killed him, she... I'll kill her!" I snarled, croakily. Usually that would have been a funny voice, but this was not the right situation.

"No Dora, no you won't" he said, squeezing my hand desperately.

"But Remus, she deserves it, and it's my fault" I said, quickly. Not even knowing why I'd said that, but it seemed the right thing to say. And then I thought on it, my mind whirled and the events of that night came flooding back. "Oh Merlin, it was my fault. If I'd have been stronger, if I'd finished her, he would never have had to step in. And he would still be here, but I was too weak" I sobbed. "My fault" Remus was up in one swift motion, standing over me, he put his hands on my shoulders and leaned into me, making me look him straight in the eye. The emotion in his face was so powerful, I started to cry harder.

"Don't you dare blame yourself Dora, don't you ever blame yourself. You are not weak and it is not your fault. Sirius wouldn't like to hear you saying this stuff, and neither do I. If you want someone to blame, blame Bellatrix, or me, but do not blame yourself" he said. He drew away from me a little, but I saw tears spring to his eyes. He was biting his lips so hard to keep them in, that I saw a bubble of blood emerge there. I knew Remus didn't want to cry in front of me, but he needed to grieve for his best mate. And I needed to grieve for my cousin. I raised my hand up and ran it across his lip, wiping the blood away. He wouldn't look me in the eyes anymore, but I tugged the corner of the sheets off me and patted the bed beside me. He looks at me, unsure, but I tugged on one of his hands and he sat down next to me.

He was turning away from me, desperate for me not to see him cry. I wound my arms around him and ignored all the pain in my back as I pulled him to me. To my surprise, he allowed himself to be pulled closer to me. His head was in my hair on my shoulder, and his arms came around my waist, hugging me tightly. I turned my head slightly so I could whisper in his ear.

"You can cry, Remus. Don't think you can't just because I'm here" I said, struggling to find the right words to say. But they seemed to have worked, because soon Remus's shoulders were shaking and he was holding me tightly, as he cried silently into my shoulder. I clung to him equally as tightly, letting the tears roll down my cheeks and onto my lips. Bitter sweet. I buried my head into his shoulder and remembered everything Sirius had ever said to me. And then I remembered what Sirius had wanted me to, _I will keep my promise to you._ But now isn't the right time.

After what seemed like ages of crying Remus pulled away, but not entirely. He was now sitting next to me, with the covers over his legs, one arm around my shoulder and the other resting on my waist. I had my arms around his waist, and we were still holding on to each other, but the tears had subsided somewhat. It was at this point when I noticed what I was wearing. I groaned loudly.

"What is it?" he asked, possibly thinking he'd hurt me in some way.

"I'm wearing a shower curtain" I moaned, it was one of those horrible hospital gowns. It was very unattractive, and made of material that was most probably used as, what I said earlier, a shower curtain. Remus stopped, and looked at me for a second, and then started to chuckle. It was a watery, weak chuckle, but it was a chuckle nonetheless. I was pleased I'd made him laughed, but a bit annoyed at the fact that it was at my expense.

"It's not funny" I said, grumpily, but this only made him laugh more.

"Only you Dora, would come out with that" he said, chuckling lightly now, but pulling me closer. "Thank you".

"What for? Giving you something to laugh at?" I said, sarcastically.

"Well, yeah. But also-" he said, whispering in my ear like a secret, "-thank you for being there. And for beating the curse; I couldn't have bared to lose you as well. And hopefully, not telling anyone about me, you know..."

"Crying?" I suggested.

"Yes, I have to protect my big bad wolf image, after all" he answered, I laughed lightly before he continued. "You know, the healers stopped the curse pretty quickly, though no-one knows exactly what the curse was. They said you were lucky, and were certain you'd make a full recovery. Your parents are always visiting, I talk to them a little, and your mum now knows you're in the Order" he explained, just talking in general. I guess he needed to do something to take his mind off Sirius. "I don't think she likes me much".

"Don't worry about it, she doesn't like anyone" I muttered. He huffed in amusement.

"I'm sure that's not true" he said. "I should get a healer; tell them that you're awake. They'll want to examine you".

I groaned. "Can't I just leave, get back to things? I hate hospitals, there boring" I sighed. He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. My hair was mix of black and brown.

"You need to be properly better, and then you'll be able to leave. I'll get a healer now" he said, making to get up but I pulled him back down.

"Five more minutes" I muttered.

Remus had given me those five more minutes, though he had counted down and on the second five minutes had come, he left the ward and came back with a healer. She was quite old and wise looking, but her eyes weren't sharp or nosy like most old biddies. She was caring and kept calling me 'love'. I felt a bit uncomfortable, because she was treating me like a child, but I soon got over it.

At one point she was talking to me about how Remus had stayed, watching over me. And I can't exactly remember how the conversation, but I know it started with 'Your boyfriend...' I giggled but wanted to hide under the bed sheets, and Remus started coughing as if he'd swallowed something quickly and it had gone down wrong. I kindly explained to her that Remus was not my boyfriend, but even I noticed the bitterness in my voice as I said it. Her name was Healer Wellard, and she didn't pry. I liked her very much.

The morning of the day I was going home, I woke to angry voices. They were coming from the end of my bed, but I was still half asleep and couldn't hear them properly. I didn't even know who they were coming from. I groaned a bit as I stretched. The healers had said I was fit to go home, and I was looking forward to getting into my own clothes, kindly brought to me by Molly the other day. And sleeping in my own bed; And work. Ok, so I wasn't exactly looking forward to that.

I opened my eyes, and found my mother and Remus glaring at each other, at the end of my bed. Neither had noticed that I was awake. Remus muttered something to mum, his face stony, but when she muttered something angrily back, his face turned white. What they arguing about?

"Mum. Remus. What's going on?" I asked, sitting myself up. Both of them jumped at the sound of my voice.

"Nothing love. Remus and I were just having a chat" mum replied, carelessly. I knew she must be lying, but she made it so believable. I raised an eyebrow at her, but Remus nodded in confirmation. He was pale and drawn, and looked really rough.

"I just wanted to check you were ok this morning" Remus muttered. "Now that I have, I best be going. Molly wants my help with something" and with that, he turned on his heel and walked out of the ward. He didn't even glance back. He wasn't acting like Remus, he was obvious still grieving but he never just...well, and he never acted like that. I turned and shot my mum a furious glare.

"What did you say to him?" I demanded.

"I didn't say anything!" she said, indignantly.

"Whatever" I scoffed.

"Don't _whatever_ me, young lady" she said.

"Don't treat me like a child. Don't speak to me like that" I said, thoroughly annoyed. I wish I could just go back to sleep, but I wanted to get out of here. She glared at me, before storming away, but not before I caught the words _'better off without him, anyway' _escape her lips. My mind whirled, I'd have to apologise to Remus about whatever mum said, but for now, I was getting out of here.

I dressed quickly and signed myself out, remembering first to thank healer Wellard for her help and support. She would be the only thing I'd miss of this place. Was it just St. Mungos, or do Muggle hospitals have itchy sheets, horrible shower curtain gowns and food that taste like heated vomit? Take-out tonight, I thought happily as I stepped out of St. Mungos and into the sunshine. A warm breeze rushed around me as I took a deep breath. Even though the guilt of Sirius's death was hanging over me, and the thought of Bellatrix and the upcoming war weighing me down, I felt content. For now I would get on with things, and worry about the other stuff when I needed to.

**The cookies are back felixlee14, my legendary cookies! And of course, everyone is welcome to nick one, but please do review. I wasn't sure whether I got this chapter right so please let me know. Oh, and Happy New Year! Xx**


	30. One minute your floating

**Ok, so this is the Final OOTP chapter. We move on to HBP after this. Long title, I know, but I kind of like it. Another snow day for me... not good. I'm fed up of snow now! Anyone else like that? Thank you all for your kind reviews, I really do appreciate them. Anyway, I'll stop talking now so you can read the chapter... **

_**Edited: 16/05/11  
**_

One minute you're floating, the next, you're drowning

Several weeks passed, and the shock of Sirius's death had worn off, though it was now replaced with several stronger emotions: Pain, loss and guilt. People kept telling me I was stupid, that it wasn't my fault, and that I wasn't to blame. But the one person I really wanted to talk too had been avoiding me at all costs. Remus hadn't come to see me, I could never find him, and there was no more guard duty (the prophecy, I was told, had been smashed).

At the Ministry it was mayhem, when I walked in, everyone was in a state. They were angry with Fudge, screaming for his removal from office. The whole wizarding world had turned on him, not that I blamed them, but those who were on his side, just ditched him. It kind of made me feel sorry for him, walking through the ministry, head bowed while people sneered and shouted at him.

Daily Prophet Reporters were crawling everywhere, and when I walked into the Auror offices they blocked my cubicle and wouldn't let me pass without me talking to them. I was still upset about Sirius and slightly weak, that I felt like crying. Until, of course, Kingsley came to my rescue, along with Proudfoot and this kind of wacky Auror called Savage. I didn't speak to him, and probably never would but I would be forever grateful. They stood in front of me like body guards, and told them I'd been through enough and to leave me alone. And then the lion came out of his den, and told the press to leave or he'd sling them in Azkaban. I had suddenly felt more confident,and couldn't help but smile as the memory swam into my mind.

Mad-eye had visited the other day, saying that a bunch of us were going to King's Cross Station to have a word with Harry's aunt and Uncle about how Harry was being treated. He wanted me there, and as soon as he said the magic words "Lupin'll be there", I agreed. Also, I wanted to meet the neat freaks, so I had thrown on my jeans and trainers, with my purple Weird Sisters t-shirt, and turned my hair spiky pink. Pink made me confident. Pink was me. I had decided to go to the station early. It was half an hour before the train was meant to arrive, and I grabbed my self some coffee in one of those plastic cups. I walked towards the platform barrier, sipping my coffee carefully, it was still hot and I was still clumsy.

Leaning against the wall opposite the barrier was a man with shabby robes and brown hair streaked with Grey. As he turned to me, I saw his chocolate brown eyes blink at me, before hastily looking away. I felt my heart plummet, like it had been filled with rocks, and was now a great weight on my chest. He was avoiding me; he wouldn't even look at me. But I had to be strong; I would walk over there and confront him.

"You've been avoiding me" I stated, clearly. He lifted his head up to look at me fully.

"No I haven't" he lied. I could tell it was a lie, by the tone of his voice. It was amazing how I knew these things. I scoffed.

"Don't lie to me, Remus" I said. "We both know that you have. I want to know why"

"I've just had a lot to think about with Sirius and everything. I just needed some time to myself" he whispered, not once taking his eyes from mine. "I'm sorry". I felt relief wash over me and then guilt, so much guilt.

"Remus, I'm so sorry. I should have thought, but instead I thought..." I trailed off. Suddenly, he pulled me into his arms and held me tightly.

"It's ok" he whispered. "I think anyone would have felt the same in your position". I wanted to scream that no-one would feel the same in my position, because no-one felt what I felt about him. But I couldn't. Instead I just held him tight, and sighed when he finally let go. Stump, stump, stump. Ah, there comes Mad-eye, with his bowler cap placed over his glass eye. Soon after, the Weasley's arrived. Molly came straight at me and pulled me into an incredibly tight hug, and then did the same thing to Remus. Normally I would get jealous when someone else touched him, but Molly's hug was way too motherly for that.

"Hello Tonks" said Arthur, kindly.

"Hello Arthur" I replied, and then lowering my voice I asked, "Did you see his office?"

"Yeah, I did. That's not even half of what he deserves" he replied. The others were listening in. Remus and Mad-eye were leaning against the wall, Molly was standing just in front of them and Arthur and I were just to the side of Remus.

"I know, but it was quite funny when I turned up" I said.

"What was funny?" Remus asked.

"Oh, so you turned up?" Arthur asked. "Fudges office was vandalised, someone in the Ministry they reckon. Not that anyone cares really, everyone wants Fudge out".

"And Scrimgeour in" I added, grimly. "And Arthur, don't look at me like that. I did not vandalise his office" I said, indignantly.

"But you wish you had?" asked Remus.

"Heck yeah, but I still don't know how I'd feel about Scrimgeour taking over" I said. "I know it's for the best, but I don't know if he is" I rambled. "I think Kingsley might be better, if I'm honest".

"I'm not sure Kingsley would want it, and besides, Scrimgeour is tougher than Fudge. You should know, considering he's your boss" said Arthur.

"Yeah, and if he takes over, he'll be able to boss me around even more than he does now" I said, sadly.

"Don't worry about it Tonks" said Remus.

"Yeah, you have nothing to worry about" said Arthur.

"You three, no Ministry talk in front of the children, ok?" said Molly, quickly. I hadn't even noticed that she'd been listening.

"Yes Molly" we all said at the same time, I giggled because the moment just seemed so funny. Both men smiled, and we went back to waiting in silence. I stood next to Remus as Arthur stood next to his wife. Fred and George came walking towards us, both wearing coats that could only be made from dragon skin. Before anyone could comment, the kids started appearing through the barrier.

"Ron, Ginny!" Molly called, running forward and hugging her children. "Oh, and Harry dear - how are you?"

"Fine" Harry replied. Most probably lying, of course he wasn't fine, but it was hard to know what to say to people when you had lost someone. Ron started to comment on Fred and George's coats, as Molly let go of Harry. Remus stepped forward.

"Hello Harry".

"Hi" Harry stumbled a little, as if trying to take in everyone at once. "I didn't expect ... what are you all doing here?"

"Well" said Remus, smiling slightly. I saw the smirk in his eyes. "We thought we might have a little chat with your aunt and uncle before letting them take you home". That was putting it lightly. I bet Molly, who wasn't usually violent, wanted to tare shreds out of them and Moody would no doubt want to start an argument, and win. I was just here for support, and I wanted to see how Harry was. I also needed to see Ginny.

"I don't know if that's a good idea" said Harry, quickly.

"Oh, I think it is" growled Mad-eye. I rolled my eyes as Mad-eye limped closer, "That'll be them, will it, Potter?" Mad-eye asked, pointing to three people I hadn't noticed before. Arthur had now turned to the group while I still looked curiously at Harry relatives.

"There not exactly what I expected" I whispered to Remus. "I mean, I've seen them before, but not very much and I kept my distance".

"What were you expecting?" he whispered, curiously. We were now walking over to the Dursleys. Arthur was introducing himself.

"Thought they'd be a bit more welcoming to Harry" I whispered back. But then again, we were here to stop them mistreating Harry. Stupid Muggles; poor Harry.

"You would have thought" he muttered back.

"We thought we'd just have a few words with you about Harry" said Arthur, smiling.

"Yeah" growled Moody. "About how he's treated at your place". The man, Vernon Dursley was clearly annoyed; his moustache seemed to bristle with indignation at Moody's words.

"I am not aware that it is any of your business what goes on in my house-".

"I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursley" growled Moody.

"Anyway, that's not the point" I quickly interjected, before Mad-eye did something rash. The woman, Petunia, closed her eyes as I spoke, as if disgusted by me most. Perhaps it was my eccentric appearance. I felt a little insulted, and then decided I didn't care. "The point is, if we find out you've been horrible to Harry-".

"- And make no mistake, we'll hear about it" Remus added, pleasantly, though there was a warning in his voice.

"Yes" said Arthur, "even if you won't let Harry use the fellytone-"

"Telephone" whispered Hermione.

"- Yeah, if we get any hint that Potter's been mistreated in anyway, you'll have us to answer too" said Mad-eye, menacingly.

"Are you threatening me, sir?" Mr Dursley asked loudly, people turned to stare. I looked at one old biddy staring and stuck my tongue out. She drew back in shock, and started walking away angrily. Ginny giggled beside me. My antics hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Yes, I am" said Mad-eye, looking rather pleased that Dursley had caught on so quickly.

"Do I look like a man who can be intimidated" Dursley barked. Yes, I said silently.

"Well" said Mad-eye, pulling back his bowler cap to reveal his revolving magical eye. Dursley jumped backwards and collided with the luggage cart. I put my hand over my mouth to stop myself laughing. "Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley". Mad-eye turned to look at Harry, "So, Potter ... give us a shout if you need us. If we don't hear from you for three days in a row, we'll send someone along..." Harry's aunt whimpered.

"Bye then Potter" Mad-eye said, grasping Harry's shoulder for a short moment.

"Take care, Harry" Remus said, quietly. "Keep in touch".

"Harry, we'll have you away from there as soon as we can" said Molly, hugging him again.

"We'll see you soon, mate" Ron said, anxiously.

"Really soon, Harry" Hermione said, earnestly from beside Ron. "We promise". Harry nodded and smiled at us all, he looked a bit lost for words, and I wasn't surprised. I watched him walk off with his relatives with a satisfied smile on my face. We'd done what we came here to do.

"Well, that was fun" Ginny commented, lightly.

"I better go" said Hermione. "Bye everyone. Bye Ron" she whispered, turning red. Ron stepped forward and gave her a hug. Ginny nudged me, and I nudged her back. Then she nudged me again and Remus smirked at me. I nudged her back one more time, just for show. Hermione broke away from Ron and ran over to her parents.

Ginny pulled me down a little so she could whisper in my ear. "Sexual tension" We both looked at each other, and for the first time in a long time, I burst into uncontrollable laughter, and Ginny did the same. Everyone turned to look at us, as we clutched each other, trying to calm ourselves. I don't know why the comment was funny, but it was just like one of those odd things that made you laugh for no reason.

"What's so funny?" asked Arthur, amused.

"Ask your daughter" I choked out, nearly falling over. Ginny fell on her butt and abruptly stopped laughing, looking alarmed. "On second thoughts, don't".

"Ok, well, we best be getting home" said Arthur, checking his watch.

"Yes, would you all like to have tea with us? You're more than welcome" said Molly, pleasantly. Ginny looked imploringly at me.

"That'd be lovely Molly" I said.

"If that's ok with you" said Remus.

"Are we still welcome, do you think, George?" asked Fred.

"I don't know Fred, are we mother?"

"Of course boys" Molly said, happily. "Let's get moving then". And then we were walking out of King's Cross Station. The Weasley's, excluding Ginny of course, leading. Mad-eye stumped along behind them. And me, Remus and Ginny walking in a line, I was sandwiched between them.

"Oh, I dumped Michael, Tonks" Ginny said, conversationally. "He was a bit of a sore loser, and of course I couldn't be with someone who sulked just because I caught the snitch. He ran off to comfort Cho, and now they're going out".

"I thought Cho was the one Harry was into?" I replied. I saw Remus turn his head slightly towards us, listening in. At that point Molly stopped us, and we got into the stations floo and flooed to the Burrow. When we got into the house, we continued the conversation as if nothing had happened.

"Yeah, he was. But according to Hermione she was always crying and arguing with him and he was fed up. Probably only liked her because she was pretty" she said, bitterly. Molly and Arthur had gone into the kitchen. Ron and the twins had gone upstairs and Mad-eye had gone merlin knows where. Remus was leaning against the wall by the fireplace. I went and sat down on the sofa next to Ginny.

"You're pretty too, Ginny" I assured her.

"Yeah right" she said. "It's ok for you, you can look beautiful, you do look beautiful, all the time and me. I'm just stuck like this". She looked miserable. Wait, was this PMT or something, because I swear she hadn't been this sad a minute ago.

"I think being you is the best look Ginny. And if you dare put yourself down, I will use the bat bogey hex on you. Besides, I am not beautiful, and this isn't the real me Gin" I said, sadly. Remus's head snapped up. I saw him out of the corner of my eye, and looked straight at him.

"How isn't it?" she asked.

"Well, this is me, but ... it's complicated to explain Ginny. When I find the right words, I'll let you know" I said. She smiled, and then gave me a hug.

"Thanks Tonks" she said, just as Molly called Ginny to help her in the kitchen. Ginny sighed and stood up. As she got to the door she turned around and smiled at me. "I go out with Dean now". And then she left. I leaned back into the cushions, chuckling slightly at how random that girl could be, just as Remus came to sit by me.

"How are you not the real you?" he asked. I turned my head to look at him.

"Do you think my natural hair colour is pink?" I asked, sarcastically.

"No" he answered, shortly.

"You have your answer. I am the real me. But I chop and change my appearance so often... I guess I'm kind of scared that somehow, I'll lose myself. And I've never told anyone that, and I don't know why I'm saying it now. And I really need to shut up" I was getting myself into a state, and Remus knew it. He pulled me close to him and held me tightly. Not saying anything, he didn't need too. I knew he would keep the secret, it was an unsaid understanding we had. But then he pushed me away, and stood up.

"You won't lose yourself" he muttered, and without looking at me he walked out of the room. Excuse my French but, What The Fuck Just Happened? He really was drawing away from me, was this all because of Sirius's death? Or was it something else?

When we ate, Remus sat opposite me, but he didn't look up. He didn't speak to me or anyone for that matter. He seemed too lost in thought. His expression was hard to describe, but if I had to describe it, I'd say he has the look of a man who's having an argument with himself. It was weird how I can get that from one facial expression. But I've become good at reading people.

Halfway through the meal Bill came in, looking deliriously happy and bouncing on the balls of his feet. He loudly announced that he'd asked Fleur to marry him, and she'd agreed. The whole room went silent. My jaw dropped open, Molly froze, Arthur dropped his fork, Ron's ears turned red, Ginny hissed, the twin's wolf whistled, and Remus... looked up at me. We both smiled to each other, and for that brief moment I felt as if everything were normal. I was the first one to congratulate Bill, but little did I know what was about to happen. Molly and Bill started to argue over it, Bill suggested his family get to know Fleur and so she was coming round for the summer. Ginny looked as if she was going to throw something, and I took the whole mess as a cue to get out of there. Remus did the same thing, along with Fred and George. Everything seemed to have kicked off at the burrow...

_2 days later_

Sirius's will had been found. It was common knowledge that I knew where Sirius was, and so I wasn't questioned about it. Though it stated Harry was to have the house, there was no guarantee that Harry would get it. Dumbledore believed Bellatrix might be the owner and so we were moving out for the time being. I was told, by Mad-eye no less that Remus was going to live with the werewolves this year. My heart sank. He couldn't go there, he just couldn't...

I was at Grimmauld Place, in the hallway, the door swung shut behind me. I looked around, remembering the good times and the bad times, and how empty it was now. There was a strange echo in the place that didn't fit. The reason for me being here was that I had left a t-shirt at Grimmauld Place. Bit of a dumb excuse, but I wanted it back, and I also wanted to look around one last time, just in case Bellatrix got ownership. The injustice of it was sickening. I climbed the stairs quietly, running my hand along the banister as I went. The further I went up, the more I heard that noise. The shuffling noise, the clipping noise, the sharp bang as if something had been dropped. As I got my landing, I saw the door to the room next to mine was open. It was Remus's room. I sucked in my breath and walked forward until I was completely in the doorway. Remus was packing a suitcase, folding clothes carefully and putting them in. He hadn't looked up; I doubt he knew I was there.

"You should have told me" I whispered. He looked up abruptly, and I saw red, swollen eyes but knew better than to comment on it. "Why would you say yes to a mission like that?"

"It's necessary work, Tonks" he muttered, looking away from me. I moved over to the bed and sat down next to where he was packing.

"You don't have to do it though" I whispered, imploringly. "You don't have to leave me". The words shot out of my mouth before I even knew what I was saying. But there was no point pretending anymore. He looked up at me, but didn't make eye contact. He looked over my head.

"It's not like that Tonks" he whispered back, before carrying on with his packing. He didn't look at me again, though I waited and waited. Ever since St. Mungos he'd been distant and quiet, and always seemed lost in thought. I know his best friend had died, and I'd lost my cousin, so we were practically in the same boat. Then a thought occurred to me, maybe what he said in St. Mungos was a lie. Maybe he blamed me. I stood up abruptly, and went to lean on the bed post at the end. It put distance between us.

"You blame me don't you? I don't blame you, for blaming me. I am to blame" I gabbled, noting that I said an awful lot of the word blame, in that. He stopped packing and stood up straight.

Turning to me he said, "Of course not Dora, I could never" he said.

"Then why won't you look at me?" I asked.

"No reason. I've been thinking lately. And I have a lot on my mind. Sirius death, amongst over things, has made me see myself in a different light" he said, thoroughly confusing me. I took a step closer to him.

"What's that got to do with me?" I asked.

"It's complicated".

"Life's complicated" I said, dryly. "Explain".

"I can't" he said, dully.

"Can't or won't?"

"Both".

"Is this all about Sirius?" I asked. He shook his head. "Is it about me?" He didn't answer. "I'll take that as a yes then".

"Take it any way you want" he snapped. Anger boiled up inside me, until I felt I would explode.

"What is your problem?" I snapped, angrily back, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice.

"My problem"

"Yes, I want to know why you being such an arse to me Remus, cause it's not fair. If it's about me I have a right to know. Just tell me" I practically shouted... so much for just getting my t-shirt.

"Tonks-"

"Remus, if I'm your friend, you'll tell me".

"You'll hate me" he whispered. "You'll be disgusted. You won't want to be friends" he said, looking distressed. "I can't be around you anymore". I felt like someone had punched me in the chest, I could actually feel the weight on my chest where his words had hit me. My heart

"Why? I need to know why. Where did this come from, please Remus? I don't understand" I whimpered.

"I told you I'd been thinking".

"You owe me an explanation, Remus. You don't just say you don't want to see someone anymore, and not give a reason. I'm your friend, or I was, but you obviously don't want to be anymore, you hate me, you owe me an explanation-"

"I love you" he whispered. If I hadn't seen his mouth move, I would have sworn I'd been imagining it. He looked like he was in terrible pain, but I ignored it. He'd just said that he loved me. Sirius and Layla and Matt had been right.

"You love me" I whispered. He looked me in the eye for the first time, and then nodded taking a step away.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Why?" I asked. "I love you too". He froze, a mixture of emotions flitted across his face. Shock, happiness, pain, hurt, fear. I didn't understand.

"No Tonks, no you can't" he said, quickly, almost frantically. "You don't".

"Yes I do, Remus. And I have for a long time" I explained.

"No, this can't be happening. You weren't supposed to fall in love with me back. I'm not good for you Tonks, not good at all. I told myself over and over to stay away from you, to let you live you own life without me being a part of it but I couldn't. Every time I saw you, it was impossible. And the closer I got to you, the harder it was to let go. So I gave up trying. And decided I could be around you without letting one, and then even that's backfired. And I let you get close to me; I let you in further than I ever have before. I was so selfish, I knew I should stop, but I couldn't. I love you, but that's the point, I'm not supposed to".

I was confused. He loved me, he wanted me really badly by the way he was saying this stuff, but wasn't supposed to. I didn't understand. This didn't make sense.

"Why are you not supposed to, Remus?" I asked.

"I'm not good for you; you deserve someone better than me".

"But I don't want anyone else. I want you, Remus. And I know, deep down, you want me too. Your actions certainly implied it, and you said you loved me. I don't understand why you're saying this. Why can't we just, you know, be together?"

"Of course I want you more than anything. Sometimes it even hurts, but we can't be together. I won't be selfish" he answered.

"You won't be" I said. I didn't understand how that was being selfish anyway.

"Dora, I'm too old for you. When you were born I was probably doing third year... transfiguration or something".

"From that sentence, I got weird mental images that I could have lived my whole life without. And unless you studied transfiguration and 2:34 in the morning, I doubt it".

"I'm being serious".

"So am I. I've known people with age gaps bigger than ours. Thirteen years is not a big deal" I assured him.

"I'm poor too. I have no job, I can't support you" he said, though his eyes told me he really didn't care. I knew these were all just excuses.

"I'm an Auror. I get pretty good wages, I can support us both. Money is not an object. Remus, I could be offered all the money in the world, but I would always choose you". He looked happy for a second, and then his face fell.

"Yeah, but Tonks I - I'm a werewolf".

"I'm aware of that. I've always been aware of that, and I don't care".

"Yeah and that confuses most. How could you even stand to be near someone like me" he was putting himself down, and I was fed up now. I stepped forward, putting my hands on either side of his face, making him look at me.

"Remus, stop this" I whispered, bring my lips closer to his. "Stop thinking so much; just feel".

My lips connected with his. I kissed him softly and then pulled away feeling the electricity flow through me. I used to hate people who compared kissing to electricity, but they were right.

He cupped my face with his hand and lowered his lips until they connected with mine again. As our lips moved together, I ran my hands through Remus's hair, as his rested on the small of my back, pulling me closer. Butterflies erupted in my stomach, and I felt something beyond fireworks as I deepened the kiss. His hand moved further down my back, and under my t-shirt. I removed one hand from his hair and traced it down past his neck, and rested it briefly on his chest before moving it down again. I felt his moan on my lips more than I heard it, and when he deepened the kiss urgently, I couldn't help but give a small moan of my own. And then, quite abruptly, he stopped. He pulled away, and then pushed me away. He raised a trembling hand to his lips.

"No" he moaned. "No".

"Remus" I said, uncertainly.

"We shouldn't have done that" he said, breathlessly.

"Why?" I said. I felt like saying _'you seemed to be enjoying it'_, but restrained myself.

"I can't be with you. We cannot happen. There can never be an 'us' Tonks, never. You need to find someone young, someone who can look after you. You deserve better".

"To me, there is no-one better Remus. I love you Remus, I want to be with you" I said, but he looked away.

"Give up on me Tonks. Don't fight for me, don't love me. Move on" he begged.

"Will you move on" I asked. "Honestly?" I knew I would get the truth, say honestly to Remus, and the truth pours out.

"I will never be able to move on, but I can live with the pain that you have. As long as you were happy..."

"But I won't be happy. I was happy when you told me you loved me, I was happy when you kissed me. But this- this doesn't make me happy at all. If 'me' moving on is going to hurt you, I will never do it. I don't believe that you mean any of those excuses you said. And I'm never going to move on from you, there is no-one better out there, not for me. I'll never give up on you Remus, I promise you that" I said.

"No Tonks, please, listen to me. You have to get on with your life" he said. "I will never allow myself to be with you Dora, never. It's what's best. Just don't fight for me Dora".

"I can't do that Remus, because I know that everything your saying, you don't believe. You know it, and I know it. Can't we just cut all this? Be together" I implored.

"At least let me try" he whispered so low, that I barely heard him. "Perhaps there was a time, where I thought this could work. But I was wrong, Dora. You need to move on and I need to give you that chance. I'm sorry Tonks, but no. We can't" he said. I didn't understand any of this. This wasn't the way it was meant to happen. He was meant to keep kissing me, to tell me he loves me again and again and we'd finally be together. He wasn't supposed to shut his suitcase, grab his cloak and walk to the door.

"Remus, please don't walk away from me" I pleaded.

"I have to" he whispered, and with one earth shattering glance back, he walked out. I slipped the floor. My heart felt weak and cold. I rubbed my neck, as tears sprang to my eyes. My hand touched something cold, and heart shaped. It was the locket. It barely even noticed it was there nowadays, it was part of me; something that had always been there, and had been vital. But there was something different, as I looked down; I saw that it had sprung open. A piece of parchment that had been tightly folded was wedged into one of the windows. It was funny, I'd never actually opened the locket before, and I don't even know why that was. In the other window, there was a picture. Of me. I was smiling; my hand came up to my mouth a few times as I bit my sleeve. This picture had obviously been taken when I didn't realise it.

I pulled out the parchment, and carefully unfolded it. Remus's neat handwriting flowed elegantly across the parchment. I rubbed my eyes, and held the parchment closer so I could see it better.

_To be with you, is like a perfect dream. A feeling so pure and it makes me feel whole. It can only be that I'm in love with you, a perfect dream, unlikely to come true._

I held the parchment tightly in my fist. Had he known that this was going to happen? Curling up into a ball, I thought about what Remus had said, and what the message had said. And then, in that moment, I realised that my world had fallen apart. I felt like I was drowning, in a river of my own tears.

**Somebody kill me! Please? This was torture to write, and I didn't have a clue how to write the kiss, so I'm sorry that it totally sucked. Anyway, Tonks is now going to go into full scale depression mode... yay! *Note Sarcasm*. Please review x Please x Please x Please x**


	31. Tea and Sympathy

**There names are made up, cause I didn't know there real names. Show of hands: Who hates authors who start a story, but don't finish it? They get you into it, and then they just stop writing. Grrrgh, it just winds me up!!**

Tea and Sympathy

It's hard to describe the events that took place in the following two weeks. So much happened around me, so much of it was a blur. I felt as though I was locked in the shell of Tonks, screaming to get out. I seemed that when Remus left, he'd took my heart with him, and now I was just... stuck. It sounds really dumb, I know, but it's the only way I could describe it. A lot had happened in those two weeks, I guess I should explain. Where to begin? I'll begin at the Ministry, because it's the easiest topic.

At the Ministry, a lot had changed. Several days after what happened with Remus, the title of the Daily prophet read _SCRIMGEOUR SUCEEDS FUDGE. _Oh yes, my boss had done it. The wizarding world had been screaming for Fudge's resignation, and when it came, Scrimgeour was appointed. I could see why Scrimgeour would make a better leader than Fudge, but I was still slightly doubtful. I didn't want Fudge in that's for sure though. Scrimgeours plans included many things, including the extra security on Hogwarts school. I had read the next article, which boar the headline _MINISTRY GUARANTEES STUDENTS' SAFETY. _He had said that a small task force of aurors would be protecting the school, but as far as I could tell, no-one had been approached yet. Although, the Minister had requested a meeting with me tomorrow afternoon, so I could be one of them. I think I would like to do it, the further away from London the better.

The next topic was not a nice one. The reasons the wizarding world wanting Fudge to quit so bad. Emmeline Vance was gone. Murdered, for being close to Dumbledore, for being in the Order. I wept when I heard. Me and and Emmeline weren't best friends, but we had been starting to become more fond of eachother. Amelia Bones was gone too. Murdered. She was one of the kindest ladies in the Ministry, and she helped me out of a few sticky patches during my training, and she would be sadly missed. I couldn't face going to there funnerals, it was too painful. They were both, most probably, murdered by Voldermort himself. The Brockdale bridge had been snapped clean in two by Voldemort also, sending muggles and wizards alike, plunging into the sea. I was one of the first aurors on the scene, and everytime I think back to it, I felt sick. A giant had been let lose with deatheaters beside them, I hadn't searched for the giant, but those who had found nothing. And now dementors were swarming everywhere, making everyone miserable, even muggles who couldn't see them could feel them. That had been the final straw. People believed Scrimgeour would do something, but I honestly don't know what he could do. Tightening security will only get you so far.

On the plus side, he'd promoted Arthur Weasley. I was pleased for him, but i've only been round the Burrow once, and I didn't stay long. I didn't want Molly interrogating me. The reason she would interrogate me was that I was different. Ever since Remus pushed me away, things for me have been changing. My appearance, my morphing, gone. I had mousey brown locks, pale skin and sunken eyes. I'd lost my ability to morph it away. And I didn't need a healer to diagnose me, I knew what it was. It was what happened when you've become, literally, broken hearted. Non-morphers could hide it easy, because there appearance stayed the same, and they could pretend. But when you looked at me, you could tell something was wrong. It hurt to try and smile. Every moment I spent not doing anything was a moment my mind drifted to Remus, and I would remember everything.

Some people would say that Tonks doesn't cry, but thats because they don't know me. I'm cut up, and broken, and I really don't want to except it, but I have no-one to talk to and no way of persuading him. And now I was sitting in my flat, in the dark, blinking back tears and curling up on the sofa. I needed to speak to somebody. I'd gone over it in my head, I needed someone to tell me that fighting for him would be a good thing to do. I couldn't go to my mother. Matt and Layla were in the States. And Molly. I could talk to Molly, but I was scared she'd take his side. I mean she was older and wiser, and may believe he's right, and tell me to move on. I couldn't bare it if she said that. But then again, thinking about it, was Molly really like that? If I was honest with myself, I think she'd agree with me, and she'd try and help me. She was someone I could trust and I needed someone I could trust right now. Instead of sitting here, alone, in the dark.

It was late, but i'm sure Molly wouldn't mind. Arthur worked late, and she waited up for him. I knew this because he'd told me about it, saying how he wished she wouldn't be so stubborn. I walked out of my flat, tying my hair out of my face, and stumbling down the dark stairwell. The reason I had to stumbled down them was because there was no light, and i'd put wards up on the building so you couldn't apparate into or out of it. I felt it best, what with deatheaters after me. And it would protect the muggles living in the building aswell. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention Bellatrix wants my blood? Well now you know. It was rather cold outside, I accio-ed my cloak from inside, and shut the door behind it. I tied the cloak tightly around me, and pulled my wand out to disapparate. I turned on the spot, focusing on the burrow.

The burrow appeared infront of me. It was dark apart from a single light on downstairs, which was glowing through the kitchen window. I walked steadily up the path towards the burrow, convincing myself that I was doing the right thing. I knew Molly wanted to speak to me, she would corner me sometime, so why not tell her freely? I took a deep breath and ran quickly up the path before I could change my mind. I knocked three times on the door.

"Declare yourself" came Molly's voice from the other side of the door.

"Hello Molly, it's Tonks" I said, clearly. The door opened with a creak and I found myself being pulled into a fierce hug. As she pulled away I saw her look me up and down, as if deliberating what to say.

"Aren't you supposed to ask a security question?" I asked, trying to distract her. (Another one of Scrimgeours ideas). She smiled and ushered me in. As she closed the door, she answered.

"I'm supposed to, but I forget. Besides, I don't have one for you Tonks" she said, ushering me towards the kitchen table. I watched her seal the door, she was in her PJ's and nightgown, and looked very stressed out. There was her clock on the basket full of ironing, she'd obviously been carrying it around, and all the hands pointed to Mortal Peril. "They've been like that since you-know-who came out into the open" she said, quietly, catching me looking.

"I guess everyone's in mortal peril nowadays" I said, reassuringly. It was easy to make conversation, as long as it wasn't about me.

"Would you like a cup of tea dear, the kettles just boiled" she asked, sweetly. I didn't really feel in the mood for tea, but anything to postpone telling her what i'd come here to tell her.

"Sure Molly, that'd be lovely" I answered, plastering a false smile on my face. I knew she could tell I was faking. As she busied herself getting cups and pouring the tea, I pondered how I was going to explain everything that had happened. She brought the tea over to the table and sat down opposite me. I sipped my tea, which scolded my mouth, and then quickly put it down.

"Arthur not home yet, then?" I guessed. I doubted she'd be up for the sake of being up.

"No, he's not. Should be back in a bit. He's been working really hard ever since he got promoted" she said, vaguely, taking a sip of her tea. "But I doubt that Arthur is what you came to talk about. Whats wrong dear?" she asked, looking me straight in the eye.

"You don't beat around the bush, do you, Molly?" I asked, not quite smiling.

She smiled knowingly at me. "I've become very good at reading people. Somethings troubling you, I can tell. And i'm guessing that whatever is troubling you, is what you came here to talk about" she said.

"Yes. Something is, a little more than troubling me, Molly. I needed someone to... talk to. But now i'm here, I don't quite know how to explain" I said, uncertainly. I really didn't have clue how I was going to explain exactly what happened. How would I make her understand? I wasn't good at explaining. Arguing, yes. Explaining, no.

"Well, why don't you just start from the beginning?" she suggested.

"Ok. It's Remus" I said. She nodded knowingly. I raised my eyebrows at her.

"That man" she sighed, "has been round here a lot, and he's been quite down. I thought it was just because of Sirius. But maybe it's something different?" she questioned.

"I don't see why he's down, he doesn't have to be" I said, harshly. How come he was feeling down? He was the one who pushed me away. She waited silently for me to continue. "Something happened, between me and Remus. It's been there for awhile, but about two weeks ago, something happened. And turned me into this... wreck" I explained, painfully.

"Ahh, I assume you and Remus have feelings for eachother, that are outside the realms of friendship?" she asked, though it was clear she knew.

"Yes, how did you...".

"Are you kidding, Tonks? You two were barely out of eachothers company, inseperable if you ask me. And it's always you he asks after. Just things i've observed Tonks, it's been clear to many of us for ages" she said, laughing lightly.

"Who's 'many of us'?" I asked, quickly.

"Most order members" she said, shrugging. I gawped at her. They knew!? I felt myself inwardly scream. "Tonks, whats happened?" she asked, her face suddenly concerned.

"I- we... oh Molly, i've royaly screwed everything up. But I don't know how. It's so confusing, he's so confusing, he said all this stuff and then just.. and it's like it never happened, and... ugh, why can't I form sentences?" I nearly cried, banging my head against the table. I felt her hand on mine, squeezing it reassuringly.

"Explain in your own time, dear" she whispered, soothingly. I lifted my head, and looked at Molly. And suddenly, everything blurted out. Everything that had happened that night, and everything I felt, and stuff that had happened during the last year, the kisses, the intimate moments, the little things. And the proper kiss, and all his excuses. Also thrown in were my constant questions, which was basically me questioning what i'd just said. Molly listened without interrupting until i'd finished my whole jumbled explanation. She looked thoughtful for a minute, I held my breath, waiting for her to agree with him. To tell me I was stupid. But then to my surprise, her face turned angry.

"That bloody man" she said. "How could he do that? I really don't understand what he must have been thinking. You said he said he wants you to be happy, but to me, you don't look happy at all". I was surprised, but now I felt, not happy, but hopeful.

"So, you agree with me?" I asked.

"Yes Tonks, I do" she said. "And I believe many others would aswell. I believe that even he does, but he's too much of a Griffindor. Self sacrificing, noble prats" she said, I snorted into my tea. "I hope your planning on changing his mind".

"So, you think I should? I really want to Molly, but I guess I was starting to think that I was being stupid. But i'm not am I? He said he loved me, I really want to fight for him".

"Then you should. All this rubbish about being too old, and too poor. And as for being dangerous, there are ways around these things" she said.

"Exactly. But Molly, I can't morph. I can't do anything. I feel as if..." I trailed off, not really knowing what I felt.

"As if he's taken your soul with him, and just left an empty shell behind?" she suggested, explaining it beautifully, yet painfully. "Tonks, I won't pretend I know how you feel because I don't, only you know that. Fight for him Tonks, he's a bloke, and men always think they know whats best. And most of the time, they don't. Trust me, I have seven of them".

"I should, but I'm scared for myself. I've changed Molly, and i'm scared i'll change for the worse. I know i'm being silly, but it's just like one of those thoughts in the back of your brain, that rears it ugly head when you least expect it" I explained.

"I know Tonks, but I think you'll be able to convince him. He loves you, it's obvious, and also he told you so. And if loves not worth fighting for, what is?" she asked. She had a valid point.

"I know Molly, your right" I said, before adding in an under tone, "i'm just scared of what it'll do to me if I can't convince him". Molly looked, for the first time, troubled. She looked at me and bit her lip.

"Maybe you should come to dinner next weekend, Remus's is coming...".

"No Molly, I know that look in your eye" I said, "you can't tell him any of this. You know, i'm probably being stupid anyway, trying to persuade him. I don't want to face him yet".

"But Tonks, you can't expect me to say nothing, not after everything you've told me" she said, quickly.

"No Molly, to everyone else, nothing is going on and i'm just the same old Tonks, just with horrible hair. And you must please promise me to follow that story. So that no-one suspects anything. I don't want anyone to know" I pleaded.

"Ok Tonks, I can play my part. I'll pretend I don't know anything about anything. I'll act clueless, but I won't like it. And if I get a chance to talk to him out of earshot, I will. Deal?" she said, looking slightly put out but determined nonetheless. I could trust Molly. She could act, she could help me without having everyone else know. I really didn't want anyone else knowing.

"Deal" I agreed.

"Will you please come next weekend. I need someone to talk to besides Fluer" she slipped.

"You don't like her much I take it?" I asked. Molly bit her lip, something she did when she was deliberating what to say next.

"It's not that. She's nice enough, I guess. A bit, stuck up, and quite bossy. But I just think Bill could have picked someone more down to earth. Ginny detests her, and says I hate her. But I don't. She's just really annoying, and -".

"French?" I interjected. She laughed lightly, but didn't give a verbal answer. Fluer to me was ok, but I guess Molly had some good points.

"Ginny misses you aswell" she added, trying to persuade me.

"No Molly, i'm sorry. I can't" I said, in finality which she seemed to miss.

"I'm going to keep asking until you agree" she smiled.

"You'll be waiting awhile then" I said, gravely. "I'm sorry Molly, but I need to get myself centered before I see him. I know you want me there, but I can't, not at the moment. Not with me the way I am".

"Ok, but i'm not giving up. You really should-" but she was cut off by a knock on the door. Arthur must be back. Molly quickly stood up and moved to the door. I sat where I was, head bowed, not even bothering to take a sip of the now cold tea in the mug in my hand.

"Who's there?" Molly asked, nervously. "Declare yourself".

"It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Harry" said a voice I recognised as the headmasters from the otherside of the door. I looked up as she opened the door. Molly was saying something and Dumbledore was replying, but I wasn't really listening until I heard him greet me.

"Hello, Professor" I said. "Wotcher, Harry".

"Hi, Tonks" replied Harry. There was an awkward silence, where Dumbledore was looking me up and down with a curious expression on his face.

"I'd better be off" I said, quickly, standing up and putting cloak around my shoulders. I pushed my tea away and, for once, didn't knock it over. "Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly".

"Please, don't leave on my account" Dumbledore said, courteously. "I cannot stay. I have urgent matters to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour". I squinted at the name of my 'boss'. As I said before, I didn't like Scrimgeour. Among other things he could be sexist. And he was like the rest of the Ministry morons when it came to prejudice.

"No, no, I need to get going" I said, not meeting his eye. Of course, I was lying. I only had to go back to my dark and lonely flat in the middle of busy London. Dumbledore could see through people, I didn't want him seeing through me. "Night-".

"Dear, why not come to dinner at the weekend. Remus and Mad-eye are coming-?". Ah, so this was her acting, and potential way of getting me to come. Sorry Molly, the answer is still no.

"No, really Molly" I said, firmly. Perhaps a little harshly. "Thanks anyway... night everyone" I hurried past Dumbledore and Harry into the yard. A few paces beyond the door I turned and disapparated. The last things I saw were Harry's confused eyes and Molly's troubled expression. I loved Molly dearly, I really did. She was like a second mother to me. But no matter how much she wanted me to be there, I couldn't be around Remus at the moment, not after what happened.

You could say I was cowardly, but I believed it was something different. My gut told me it was. I just hadn't found the right word for it yet.

*

Walking to Scrimgeours office, Fudges old office but know doubt it had been re-decorated, was slightly nerve wrecking. My hair hung limp around my face, and my mood was as miserable as it had been for the past couple of weeks. If I was honest with myself, I didn't look healthy. I looked like I was about to drop down any minute. And that wasn't a nice thought.

I'd gone through several stages, the first was disbelief, and the second was anger. Anger at Remus, anger at myself, anger at why I could let a man effect me like this. But then I thought, this wasn't just a man. It was Remus. But I was sure things would get better soon. That was stage three apparently. Denial.

I was worried about what would be said about my 'new look' as some called it. Others had asked me if I was going undercover or something. Oh, how I wished that was the reason. I was at Scrimgeours office, and knocked several times, before entering. As I predicted, the office had changed. But funnily, it was alot warmer and welcoming than i'd expected. Red and gold painted walls, drapes, a crackling fire and comfy, squishy chairs.

"Enjoying being Minister then?" I asked. Damn, I was ment to have said that in my head.

"Indeed" smirked Scrimgeour. "Though it's not all fun and games, Miss Tonks".

"Of course not, Minister" I replied, as he guestured me to a seat. There were four set out in front of his desk. I took the third one if you were counting from the right to the left.

"Your slightly early, the others should be here any minute" he said, lightly, offering me a glass full of what looked to be whisky. I put my hand out in refusal.

"Others, sir?" I asked.

"Yes others. I have a special task for you this year. And the years after, hopefully" he smiled. Maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought, he seemed nice enough. "So, how do you like your new head of department?" he asked.

"To be honest, I haven't actually met him yet" I said, honestly.

"Hmm, well I hope he does well" he muttered, more to himself than me, "ah, here are the others" he said, loudly. The door behind me, and I turned to look. Proudfoot was first through the door. Proudfoot, was mid-thirties with lots of stubble and from what I knew of him, quite smart and too the point about things. Dawlish came in next, looking as obnoxious as ever. I didn't like Dawlish, he was around the same age as Proudfoot I guessed, but he was very sexist. Especially to me. Last to enter was an auror named Savage. Savage looked more late twenties than thirties, with a mop of brown hair and blue eyes. I'd seen him around, but according to most people, he was a bit crazy. Not mental in that way, but he was just a bit weird, and probably smart too. Some said he was funny, others said he was a nuisance. I had yet to cast my opinion.

The men came and sat in the empty chairs. Proudfoot on onesideof me, and Savage on the other. Scrimgeour looked happy. "Right, down to buisness then, shall we? Have you worked with eachother before?" Scrimgeour asked.

"Savage has not worked with any of us before, though Tonks, Dawlish and myself have worked together several times" answered Proudfoot.

"Well, this'll give you chance to get to know eachother then" said Scrimgeour, pleasently. "I want you four to keep guard over the school. You will sort out amongst yourselves, who patrols when, and i've organised some convenient accomadation for you in Hogsmead. You don't have to use it, but it's advisable" he reeled off. We sat in silence for a minute.

"Okay then" I said. "I'll do it, tell me where the accomadation is, and when you want me to start".

"Yeah, me too" said Proudfoot.

"I guess I could do it, but i'll only use the accomadation when I desperately need it" said Dawlish, grumpily. I rolled my eyes.

"Well obviously i'm in" said Savage in a dreamy voice, "the fates have made it so". We all looked at Savage who looked blankly back like he'd said nothing unusual. Scrimgeour was the first to recover. We all sat back, following his lead.

"Well, here you go" he said, handing me the piece of parchment that had the address on it. "You start guarding the school on the first of September, but I suggest you get familiar with the area and sort out when you are going to patrol. Your soul task this year will be the protection of Hogwarts school, though you may be called aside at times to do other work" he said. We all nodded. "Sort out among yourself when you wish to patrol, and if theres no questions, you may go". The three men got up, but I stayed where I was.

"Why us?" I asked, quietly. All four men turned to look at me. Scrimgeour smiled and looked me directly in the eye.

"Because I trust you" he said, simply, before waving a dismissive hand. I got up and left the room with the others. We got out into the corridor and stood awkwardly with eachother for a second, before Savage interrupted the silence.

"I think we should know eachothers names" he said, lightly.

"Good idea" said Proudfoot. "My name is Jacob Proudfoot".

"I'm Nymphadora Tonks. But I prefer to be called Tonks" I said, quickly.

"I'm Mark Savage" Savage said, cheerily, like he loved saying his name. His face lit up like a child seeing snow for the first time. I loved snow, I thought vaguely. We were all looking at Dawlish now, who'd become, was it possible, embarassed?

"Patrick Dawlish" he grumbled. Savage sniggered, it was a bit funny, but thats only because Dawlish was so embarassed by it. Proudfoot looked like he was bursting to say something, but was trying desperately not to.

"Ummm, maybe we should check out this accomadation?" I suggested, to distract everyone. They nodded and murmered agreements. We all read the parchment and as quick as a flash, disapparated.

We appeared outside a shop on the outskirts of Hogsmead that i'd never heard of before. The instructions were to go round the back, and as we walked, we saw a metal staircase, which twisted in a spiral, up to the second floor. There was a door at the top of the stair case. I followed Proudfoot up the stairs, getting dizzier as we went up. It was like a merry-go-round, only worse because if you jumped off a merry-go-round you'd probably land on the ground quite safely (because, let's face it, merry-go-rounds don't go very fast). And if you jumped off here you'd probably break several bones. Now, will someone please tell me why I just compared this staircase to a merry-go-round? Was the fourth stage: becomes increasingly insane? But I was sort of right, this staircase would be a death trap in the winter. Finally, we reached the top, all of us were breathing heavily. Was it just me, or is this building slightly higher than two story?

"We should have... fucking... apparated... up here" Dawlish wheezed out from behind me. I didn't want to agree, but I couldn't help it.

"Well, were up now" said Proudfoot, lightly, though slightly breathlessly. He tapped on the door with his wand, and it swung open. We all crowded into the hall and Savage closed the door. I'm sorry, but I cannot call them by there first names yet. It's to weird. Savage then walked ahead and back again.

"There is a kitchen on the first left, and bathroom on the second left. Straight ahead at the end is a single bedroom. On the first right there's another single bedroom, and on the second right there's double bedroom" he reeled off.

"Meaning someone has to share" said Proudfoot.

"Not it" I said, quickly.

"Not it" said Dawlish.

"That means we have to share. Don't look so worried, there are two beds, just in the same room" explained Savage. "And don't worry, I don't bite" he added, walking down the hall to his room "-much". Proudfoot groaned and followed, and Dawlish sniggered.

"I bugsy this room" I said, pointing to the room on my right. Dawlish huffed moodily, and walked towards the door at the end. I turned and walked into the room on my right.

My room was blue, a nice light blue, that made the room feel airy and light. There was a bed to the left of me, and a cabinet to the right. Next to the cabinet was a wardrobe and above the bed were two shelves, going, one slightly lower and across than the other. Right in front of me was a big window, which looked out over Hogsmead. The window opened wide enough to fit a person through it easily. I stored that information for another time.

I guess this place would do. It wasn't like I had to stay here all the time, just when I was desperate. It was comfy enough. I sniggered at the thought of Proudfoot sharing with Savage. There was only one thing that bugged me. One bathroom. One small, communal bathroom. To share between four people. Oh joy!

**Ok, I understand the second half of this chapter was pretty much crap but I needed to introduce you to the Aurors, as they will become increasingly important in Tonks life, at Hogsmead. Reviews appreciated x P.s. I realise that my grammar is pretty messed up and my spelling is atrocious. All I can say is sorry, and I shall go through it again at another point.**


	32. The Silver Shadow of a Wolf

**Credit to Anthony for coming up with the book title later on in the chapter. Thanks Mate. Sorry I didn't reply to hardly any reviews, I've been so busy. Even so, they were appreciated and I thank all of you for them. Now the updates may become a bit less frequent in the upcoming months, due to the fact that I have to study for my exams, since I got my mocks and felt so awful cuz I hadn't done well. So I need to buckle down, and focus so, like I say, less frequent updates by I am NOT abandoning this story! No way! I've got so many ideas and plans and I intend to see them through! So, because the updates may become less frequent, this chapter should keep you going. See ya at the bottom...**

The Silver Shadow of a Wolf 

It was one of those moments, that had become ever so frequent. Feeling lost in myself, feeling like I wasn't myself. Like I couldn't be myself. I felt like the world had stopped spinning, like I was the only person left. And the pain was unbareable. It was always there, clawing away at me, while he was off doing whatever he was doing. Did he not realise the pain he'd caused me? He spoke about it being for the best, but it wasn't. Otherwise I wouldn't be sat here, tears falling from my eyes, and rolling down my cheeks. All the while, that bottle of firewhisky, sitting on the kitchen side was taunting me. I knew I needed to face him, to convince him that what he was doing was wrong, and I knew I would have to do it soon, because the pain, though it had only been a few weeks, was horrible. I'd never experienced anything like it in my life, and he was the only one who could take it away. Yet that stupid bottle of firewhisky sat there, all smug, taunting me again. I didn't want to hit the bottle. I really didn't...

And so I pushed myself up against the wall, so I was standing up right. I inhaled deeply, calming myself slightly, before turning my back on the bottle of firewhisky that i'd put on the side earlier, and storming into my bedroom, feeling the need to do something that would take my mind off of things for awhile. No wait, off of _him_ for awhile. Even if it was only for a little while.

As I walked into my room, my eyes fell on the rucksack that i'd chucked on the bed earlier. I had planned to do a bit of packing, just a few changes of clothes and some personal stuff to take to the flat I was to use in Hogsmead. It was the middle of the summer holidays, and I didn't start guarding the school for another three weeks, but at least it would distract my thoughts for a little bit.

With that in mind, I pulled open my wardrobe and sucked on my bottom lip, wondering what clothing would be deemed appropriate. I randomly grabbed a few tops, and my pink sweater from the top shelf and chucked them on the bed next to the rucksack. Two pairs of jeans? That should be enough. I wouldn't be staying there all the time, or at least I certainly hoped I wouldn't have to stay there all the time. I slung them on to the bed along with a pair of old boots, and then began to pack them into my rucksack, along with some basic girly essentials. The thing with doing stuff with you hands, like packing, was that it actually gave you mind time to wander, rather than distract it. So I did something that i'll probably look back on as pathetic. I started counting and folding my clothes to a beat.

My stuff took less than five minutes to pack, and as I was zipping it up, I glanced, quite randomly, at my bedside table and froze. There was a picture frame, carefully propped near the edge on the left side of the table that I hadn't looked at in a while. It was the picture Sirius had given me for christmas. The picture of me and Remus, with Sirius barking around our heels. Remus had just caught me and prevented me from falling. We looked happy, really happy. Tears sprung to my eyes, and in fury and pain, I slammed the picture down so I could no longer see the image. I then finished zipping up my rucksack, slung it over my shoulder and walked mournfully out of my bedroom. As I passed the kitchen I stopped, before going inside, taking the bottle of firewhisky in my hands and chucking it on the floor. It smashed into a million tiny little pieces, and the liquid ran all over the floor.

"Evanasco" I muttered, clearing up the mess. It wasn't a loss, and though I may be turning into a wreck (I hoped not), I wouldn't sink that low just yet. Feeling proud of myself, and slightly more confident, I slipped on my trainers, turned out my lights in the flat, and exited.

Apparating to Hogsmead was easy enough, though it was now pretty dark and i'd apparated a little too far, so would now have to walk up the lane for about ten minutes, until I got to the 'other flat'. I pulled my rucksack straps further up on my shoulders, and began to walk down the small cobbled lane towards the other flat, when the cobbles in front of me began to ice over, as well as the trees and walls, gradually creeping it's way up to me. I looked down at my feet, which were now standing on ice, and my trainers had started to ice up. I looked back up and almost screamed. A dementor was hovering about a meter away from me.

I pulled out my wand, but I felt the grief and pain flood my heart as the dementor came towards me, gliding menacingly. I tried to speak but nothing came out. Every bad memory, every fear, flashed before my eyes filling me with dread. _Remus, Sirius, Bellatrix, Voldemorts return, brown mousy hair, Remus, Sirius... _I felt myself going weak, the soul being sucked out of me. The dementors, free from the ministry, praying on everything in sight. But it wouldn't pray on me, I wouldn't let it. But no happy memory came, I closed my eyes thinking furiously, before Remus's image came into my brain once more, and I remembered. It was all I needed.

"Expecto patronum" I roared, thinking of Remus and his smile, his eyes and his kiss. What burst from my wand made me jump back and fall on my butt. It would have been comical if the situation hadn't been so grave. My patronus, that chased the dementor down the street was no longer the sleek meerkat it had once been, but a huge, silver shadow of a wolf. A werewolf. I gasped and gulped in shock, and also what I presumed, overwhelming undescribable emotions. The ice and cold had gone, I felt myself come back as if i'd been lost, just as the wolf bounded up to me. It sat in front of me for a second, before dissolving.

I ran the rest of the way to the other flat, a million thoughts clouding my brain at once, and I could hear none of them clearly. It was like an annoying buzz, and fuzzy pictures, though the memory of the wolf in front of me stuck out like a sore thumb. I ran up the stairs in a hurry and through open the door. My first clear thought was: chocolate. It's exactly what you need after a dementor attack. I went straight to the kitchen, and ignoring Savage who was sitting at the small table reading, I opened a cupboard and found a bar of chocolate. Hastily ripping off the packaging, I took a bite, and as I chewed, the chocolate melted in my mouth and the warmth returned to my body.

Then I turned to look at Savage, my mind began to unscramble due to the power of chocolate, and certain questions popped into my mind. Savage carried on reading, and I read the cover, which had written in swirly gold writing _'Ego Venit, Ego Saw, Ego Victum Suus Pectus Pectoris'._

"Evening Savage" I said, a little nervously. "If you don't mind me asking, but what is that book your reading?". The words were perculiar. He looked up at me, and then to the front cover. He obviously realised what I was refering too.

"It's an old latin novel. The title is roughly translated 'I came, I saw, I conquered her heart'. I don't usually read much, and i'm not a great shakes with Latin really, but from what I can gather the book is about an old Emporer who fell in love with a girl who wouldn't love him back. It talks about what trials he goes through to win her heart. It's quite fascinating, but I guess I already know what happens in the end" he reeled off. Savage was quite strange, but I think I could learn to like him.

"What happens?" I asked, quickly.

"She falls in love with him back, was probably in love with him the whole time, and was being stubborn. Love conquers all in the end. It is a desperately tricky emotion, unbareable to live with, difficult to get rid of, but no matter how much fight you give, you always surrender to it in the end".

The words echoed in my head. _Love conquers all in the end. No matter how much fight you give. Always surrender to it._

"Is something wrong Tonks, you look upset?" he noted, frowning.

"A dementor" I said, weakly, not really wanting to return to the topic, but I had a question that I was eager to find the answer to. "Ok, this is going to sound strange but, a patronus is part of you right? It reflects you, so do you know what does it mean if your patronus changes form?" I gabbled. He pursed his lips, thinking deeply. His fringe fell into his eyes, and he sweeped it back. Savage was quite young, but older than me. Heck, everyone I knew seemed to be older than me.

"Well, i'm not quite sure, actually. If I were to guess i'd say it was very rare that that would occur. But if it did occur, i'd say it was probably caused by an great emotional upheaval. Someone or something could have had such a powerful effect on the person, that it changed who they were, and therefore there patronus changed with them" he said, though he was thinking intently on the question. "I'd say that something has happened that's changed you, Tonks. Whether it's a bad thing, I do not know and I won't pry either" he said. How had he guessed? But then again, I was always being told that I was like an open book.

"Now, I think i'll go to my room and chuck this book at Proudfoots head. Might stop him snoring" he muttered, getting up. "Goodnight, Tonks". And with that, he left the room.

So my patronus changed because of an emotional upheaval, obviously Remus was the cause, concidering what had happened. Remus Lupin, you have no idea how much you changed me. I slung my rucksack out the door and into the room opposite the kitchen, which was mine, and stood twiddling my wand between my fingers. And thats when I decided I needed to see Remus. I didn't know where to look, but I needed to speak to him. We needed to talk.

I walked quickly out of the kitchen and outside onto the steps. I didn't know where to find him, but I knew where to start looking. I span clumsily on the spot and disapparated with a pop.

When my feet next touched the ground I fell straight over. I groaned and pushed myself up from the cold, hard ground, and looked up at the Burrow. My head hurt and as I raised a hand to it, It noted the patch of blood there. I sighed and put my hand down, not bothering to wipe the blood away, and walked towards the Burrow. There was a light on in the kitchen, and I wondered whether Molly was always up nowadays. No-one had seen me approach either because it was quite dark, or they hadn't looked out the window.

I was almost at the door, raising my hand when I heard voices from the other side. It was unmistakeably Molly, but her voice sounded positively furious. I froze in shock at how much anger was echoed in her voice. I stopped outside the door. It was wrong to ease-drop, but I couldn't help it.

"-absolutely ridiculous Remus. You should hear yourself..." Molly was saying.

"It's not ridiculous Molly, the fact is that it can't happen. I don't see why your getting involved anyway" came Remus's firm voice. I sucked in my breath as I heard it. Well, I guess I found him.

"Because Tonks is like another daughter to me, and I hate to see the poor girl so cut up. She's not herself anymore Remus, and it worries me" said Molly, softly. I pressed my ear against the door. "I just think that your being ridiculous".

"It's better for her if i'm out of her life. She can do better than me".

"Your a decent guy Remus, you need to stop putting yourself down" came Bill, suddenly. Oh, so Bill knew too now, did he? Great. Yes, he does needs to stop. And maybe I should stop listening and actually knock on the door now. Yes, knock. Knock now. And then I knocked quickly and held my breath. There was movement on the other side of the door, the scraping of a chair and the clink of cups.

"Who's there?" asked Bill, calmly.

"Bill, it's me. Tonks" I said, biting my lip. The door opened quickly, and Bill stood in front of me beaming, blocking anything in the kitchen from veiw. "I see you don't believe in security questions either?" I asked.

"Nope" said Bill, cheerfully, ushering me into the house. "Though dad believe's in them". He shut the door behind me and I looked around the kitchen. Molly was standing at the counter, and Remus was sitting at the table, looking up at me, visibly tense. Molly looked at me aswell.

"Tonks, what have you done to your head?" she asked, coming over and peering at the patch of blood at the corner of my forehead. It didn't hurt, only when she touched it.

"Fell over" I mumbled, slightly embarassed. Bill snorted and I saw Remus smile out of the corner of my eye. Molly sighed, took out her wand and cleaned the wound in one flick. When Molly moved out of the way, I looked at Remus again. It was the first time i'd seen him since that day and he looked visibly more tired and strained, grey streaked more liberally than ever in his brown hair.

"Remus" I said in a small voice.

"Dora" he said, not meeting my eyes. Was it weird that when he said my name, it seemed like my tummy housed a thousand butterflies? Was it normal that when he looked up at me, his eyes captured mine and I caught my breath?

"Umm, Bill. Maybe we should leave them-" but Molly's words were cut off as the door from the hallway to the kitchen sprang open. Fleur stood in the doorway, radiantly beautiful as always, with a wide smile on her face. She walked gracefully towards me and kissed me on both cheeks.

"Tonks, eet 'as been too long, no?" she asked. I felt like answering 'not long enough' but refrained. Fleur was alright, a bit to floaty and girly, but she was nice. It made my heart hurt to see how happy she and Bill were, and that at the moment anyway, I didn't have that.

"Yes, yes, too long" I muttered.

"I 'ave a favour to ask of you" she said in a throaty voice. "You are 'onest, no? I shall be picking a wedding dress soon, and would like your 'elp" she asked, simply.

"Umm, maybe Fleur. I'm quite busy at the moment, what with the Ministry and all that" I rambled lamely. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I really needed to speak to Remus, and dress shopping wasn't my thing. Yes, I am a girl, but dress shopping still seems like an alien concept to me. She nodded in what I hoped was understanding.

"Er... love, why don't we go upstairs?" Bill suggested, slightly coyly, and ushered her out of the room. Molly tittered and glared after them.

"She's not that bad Molly" I said, trying to convince her. She sighed heavily and patted me on the shoulder, before pointly glaring at Remus and leaving the room. What was left was an awkward silence. Now that me and Remus were alone, I could speak to him now without any interruptions and everything was going to be fine. Just stay calm Tonks, and make the first move.

"Hi Remus, umm, nice weather" I said, and then cringed. Was that all I could think of? Please could some random deatheater jump out and hex me right now. Please! Remus looked up at me and blinked several times, before stiffling a laugh.

"Hello".

"We need to talk" I blurted out. Well, might aswell get straight to the point. The sooner I got on with it, the sooner I could be wrapped in his arms and live happily ever after... No Tonks, this isn't a fairytale. Focus girl! "About the other day".

"There's nothing to talk about Dora" he answered, plainly.

"I beg to differ on that" I said, leaning against the counter. "Have you forgot it all already? Or was it just my imagination? Have you even thought about it?" I asked.

"I certainly haven't forgot it, Tonks. I just don't see what there is to discuss".

"What about us? This situation right here, Remus" I said, guesturing between us.

"There is no us, Tonks. I told you, we can't be together. You deserve someone better than me Tonks, don't do this. Don't do this to yourself, forget about me, move on with your life" he said, harshly.

"I can't Remus, you don't understand. This goes deeper than you think, I can't move on, even if I did want to. Remus, i'm in love with you" I said, walking over to him.

"Don't say that" he mumbled. "I'm too old for you, too poor and definetly too dangerous".

"Rehearsed lines Remus, rehearsed excuses. Put them aside Remus. For once in your life, let yourself have something. For once in your life, stop fighting" I said, taking a breath, dropping down so I was at eye level. "Do you love me?" I asked. I needed to hear him say it again.

"I can't love you".

"My question wasn't can you, it was do you?" I corrected him.

"I will be with the werewolves soon, your better off without me. You don't need prejudice like that on you, because of me. Think about people's reactions, your job at the Ministry, your family. I'm cursed Dora, and I won't push my curse on you just so I can have what I want".

"So you do love me" I said, happily.

"I can't" he said.

"But that doesn't mean you don't. You can't tell me you don't. All these excuses mean nothing to me, they don't push me away. Tell me you don't love me, Remus. If you can do that, I promise i'll drop the whole thing" I said, taking a deep breath. I was taking a gamble here. He looked up at me, I could see him struggling with himself for a minute, before putting his head in his hands.

"I can't" he mumbled into them. My heart soared, that's all I needed to know. He did love me, and that's all that mattered. I pulled his hands gently away from his face, and held them in mine, before looking up and leaning into Remus. Our lips met, and my whole body tingled on contact. Love bubbled inside me for those few sweet seconds, before he pulled away and pulled his hands from mine. He abruptly stood up, and I stood too.

"No Tonks, i'm too old for you. I can't support you and being with you means risking your life. I can't do this" he whispered, starting to walk around me. I grabbed his arm just as I passed me. He froze, but only his head turned towards me. "Let me go, Tonks. Move on".

"I love you, Remus. And I know you love me. A friend once told me that love conquers all in the end. No matter how much fight you give, Remus. I refuse to give up on you, because I know that all that thinking of yours is in fact, ridiculous" I said, giving him a slight smirk, suggesting that i'd overheard. "And your pure heart will win out in the end".

"I'm not pure Tonks. I'm not whole. I'm doing this for your own good".

"Keep telling yourself that, and in time you'll realise how wrong you are. And to me Remus, you are whole, and pure, and dozens of other amazing things. I love you for you".

"You shouldn't" he snarled, pulling his arm away from mine and moving to the door.

"This isn't over, Remus" I said. "That's a promise".

"Your not going to let this go, are you?" he asked.

"Absolutely not".

"Then I hope you enjoy disappointment" he whispered, before opening the door and disappearing into the night. My heart felt suddenly detached from my body, I felt sharp pain as I looked out into the night, and saw nothing. I walked out into the night, forgetting about saying goodbye to the Weasley's. And a thought floated from the back of my mind and made itself known. I squashed it back immediately. It wouldn't help me at all, but still the thought lingered a little longer. _Rejected. _And though it was wrong, I really started to regret smashing my bottle of firewhisky.

*

_First of September, Hogsmead Station_

I walked up the platform, my cloak whispering to the ground behind me, and a chilly wind whipping around me, as I watched the Hogwarts Express pull into the station. Hundreds of excited kids stood in the corridors, waiting in excitement for the doors to open. Trembling first years stepped out onto the platform, as older students bowled through them, laughing with there mates, and some just acting generally like idiots.

I remembered how I used to be, stepping onto the platform, dashing to get into a carriage before they were all taken. I never really took in my surroundings back then, but when you leave you come to realise how great the place was, and you appreciate your time there more. As I looked around, I saw Ron and Hermione leave the train, both looking troubled, and no Harry with them. That was odd. They were such a tight trio, how come Harry wasn't with them.

I scanned the platform filled with students, and as the students thinned out there was still no sign of Harry. This was bad, where was he? Was he hiding? He had the cloak with him, what if he was hiding for some reason. I needed to find him, before the Hogwarts express decided to leave. The students all made a path for me quickly as I came towards them, and I jumped on the train, just as the Malfoy kid jumped off. He sneered at me once, then stalked off.

I paid no attention and quickly walked down the corridor, just as the train lurched. I got to an compatment with the blinds down, and had one of those feelings like you knew you were on the right track. I threw the compartment door open just as the train engine roared to life. On the floor I could see a trainer, surrounded by nothing but air, or someone in a invisibility cloak. I reached out and took the cloak off of Harry, and cast as charm to unfreeze him. His face was covered in blood, and his nose looked broken. The train started to move.

"We'd better get out of here, quickly" I said. "Come on, we'll jump" I suggested, walking out into the corridor. Harry followed me hastily as I threw open a door. The platform seemed to be sliding underneath me as I leapt onto it. Harry followed suit, stumbling slight upon landing. Harry watched the Hogwarts Express pick up speed, and disappear, and as I watched him I could sense a bi of relief, and maybe a bit of embarassment. Silently I handed him back the cloak.

"Who did it?" I asked, referring to his nose.

"Draco Malfoy" my stomach curled. "Thanks for... well...".

"No problem" I said, saving him having to explain. "I can fix your nose if you keep still" I said, changing the subject. Harry looked a bit uncertain but stood stock still and closed his eyes. "Episkey" I said, pinting my wand at his nose. It fixed instantly, and he patted it gingerly, a small smile returning to his face.

"Thanks a lot!".

"You'd better put that cloak back on, and we can walk up to the school" I said, thinking it best that no-one sees him. Though who was around at this point in time, I didn't know. I thought I better send word to the castle so they wouldn't worry about Harry's whereabouts, and so sent my patronus to Hagrid. As the large werewolf erupted out of my wand and dashed off into the darkness, I felt a tug on the corner of my mouth. I hadn't got used to my new patronus, but I liked it a lot.

"Was that a patronus?" asked Harry, curiously.

"Yes, i'm sending word to the castle that i've got you, or they'll worry. Come on, we'd better not dawdle" I said, and we set off on the lane that led to the school.

"How did you find me?".

"I noticed you hadn't left the train, and knew you had that cloak. I thought you might be hiding for some reason. When I saw the blinds were drawn down on that compartment I thought i'd check".

"But what are you doing here, anyway?" he asked.

"I'm stationed in Hogsmead now, to give the school extra protection" I answered, hoping that I didn't sound bitter.

"Is it just you who's stationed up here, or-?"

"No, Proudfoot, Savage and Dawlish are here too".

"Dawlish, that Auror Dumbledore attacked last year?" he asked. I'd forgot about Dumbledore hexing him, i'd have to casually drop it into a conversation. Not that I wanted a conversation with that man.

"That's right" I said, fighting a smirk. He was silent after that, as we trudged up the lane towards Hogwarts, following the freshly made tracks of the Hogwarts carriages. I wandered what Harry was thinking, where he was looking, how was he feeling? Maybe I should say something about Sirius, but what would I say? I shook the thoughts out of my head and let my mind drift onto something else. And how that something else felt when there lips were on mine. I'd been doing that a lot lately, thinking about him, every single detail I could revive from my memory sent sparks through me and a new feeling of hope. I would spend hours, sitting, standing, walking in silence. Trying to remember how he felt, trying to bring back every sensation. But this was only making me worse, my features had become worse. My eyes were sunken, my skin was pale, my hair was awful. But I couldn't stop, because even if it only made me feel good for a short time, memories were the only things I had at the moment. Things would get worse, I knew that, but I would face that when it crossed my path.

Before I knew it we were at the castle's gates, and Harry was trying to push them open. When that failed he said confidently "Alohomora". Nothing happened, I hadn't expected it too.

"That won't work on these. Dumbledore bewitched them himself" I informed him. Harry looked around, as if looking for an opening.

"I could climb a wall" he suggested.

"No you couldn't" I said, flatly. "Anti-intruder jinxes on all of them. Securities been tightened a hundred fold this summer". He looked impatient.

"Well then" he started, his voice clearly annoyed. I looked onto the grounds and saw a light bobbing, coming closer. "I suppose i'll just have to sleep out here and wait for morning".

"Someone's coming down for you" I informed him. "Look". Soon enough, what appeared from the darkness was a greasy haired, hooked nosed man with the biggest sneer on his face i'd ever seen.

"Well, well, well" said Severus Snape, taking out his wand and tapping the padlocks. The chains snaked away and the gates creaked open. "Nice of you to turn up, Potter, although you have evidently decided that the wearing of school robes would detract from your appearance" he sneered. I frowned at the man.

"I couldn't change, I didn't have my -" said Harry, but Snape cut across him.

"There is no need to wait, Nymphadora. Potter is quite - ah - safe in my hands". Yeah right.

"I meant for Hagrid to get the message".

"Hagrid was late for the start of term feast, just like Potter here, so I took it instead. And incidently" said Snape, standing back and letting Harry pass him. "I was interested to see your new patronus". He slammed the gates shut on me and tapped the chains again. Wait for the sarcastic comment...

"I think you were better off with the old one" he said, and I couldn't mistake the malice in his voice. "The new one looks weak". His words shocked me. How dare he? The stupid, greasy haired, over sized bat! I wanted him to undo the chains so I could smack him one. He swung around and walked away, Harry followed him.

"Goodnight" he shouted. "Thanks for... everything".

"See you, Harry" I called back, before turning and walking back down the lane. Snape had no right to comment on my patronus, but he was always good at legimens, and probably knows it was because of Remus. Oh shit! How did it look weak? How? I know he didn't like Remus, but werewolves were not weak. Remus wasn't weak.

Just then I saw two men marching up the lane towards me.

"Evening Tonks" called Savage, happily.

"Evening" said Proudfoot.

"Wotcher guys, have fun" I said in false cheeriness. I walked past them hastily, my mind was reeling and what I needed now was sleep.

**Hello again :) I know that the wolf isn't really a shadow, but I couldn't find the word I wanted to describe it with. Please review xx**


	33. A Blackened Rose

**Ok, I am sooo incredibly tired and sooo incredibly stressed at the moment. When the teachers said I would have no time for myself this year, I didn't believe them. Still, i'm not going to tell them they were right... Anyway, after slaving away over a mountain of homework, practise papers, interviews, future career sites and all that other horrible stuff that leads me towards my future (which I am dreading) I decided to be ever so nice and write you all a little chappy to keep you going. Was a little disappointed with lack of reviews last time, so please review, it will seriously make my day and make me smile, which has become to infrequent for my liking.**

**P.s. This is really short, sorry. If some of this doesn't make sense, i'm really sorry. My head's all over the place at the moment. Also this is just a filler chapter, describing her routines, setting stuff up, a bit more about the boys and how she as a person seems to have changed. I hope this works, if not, bum...**

A Blackened Rose

It was late at night, the full moon was high in the sky and the darkness engulfed everything around me. One good thing though, Hogwarts was beautiful with a few windows of light and the moon shining on it. I'd checked and double checked all the enchantments, i'd walked around the whole perimeter, checking every inch, and was now standing in front of the gates, checking the surrounding lanes. All of us took it in turns to do this throughout the day and all of the night. And then we'd leave. The next auror to go on duty would do so an hour later. Duty took a few hours, and was pretty easy work, most would say it's a bit to easy for aurors but the extra protection reassures the public, so this is what I spent my days and nights doing.

I walked down the lane towards Hogsmead village, deciding that I was finished for the night, when an owl swooped down and dropped a letter at my feet. I bent down quickly and picked up the letter, turning it over to see the handwriting. I hastily opened the letter, whispering 'Lumos' as I continued to walk. The writing was a bit smudged but still readable.

_Dear Tonks, I heard your guarding Hogwarts. Does that mean you'll be in Hogsmead tomorrow, then? It's just that it's our first Hogsmead trip of the year, and it'd be great to see you. I hope your doing well, mum said you were a bit down but she wouldn't tell me anything else. You would tell me if something was seriously wrong, wouldn't you? Anyway, i'll probably be in Madam Puddifoot's tomorrow, if you can, please come? Ginny x_

First Hogsmead visit? Time seems to fly by nowadays, I thought as I carried on walking down the lane. I guess I could go and see her, I had nothing else to do tomorrow. The guys were doing duty tomorrow in the day time, so I had the whole day to fill. I looked up at the full moon and thought of a certain person. I was worried about him. He was out with Greyback's pack, and Greyback is sick, unlike Remus. And Remus wouldn't want to do anything harmful, but with Greyback there... I shivered at the thought of what Greyback might make him do. Or maybe it was just the cold. Unlikely.

Anyway, the rain started up, gradually gaining pace as I walked. _Oh stuff this, i'm apparating. _And so I turned on the spot and apparated to the flat I shared with my collegues. Unfortunetly I still had to climb the stairs. There had been safety wards put on them so no-one could apparate on them. So if a deatheater came along, they'd be to tired by the time they got to the top. I smirked and took the staircase at a run.

As soon as I reached the top, I wished I hadn't ran. I clutched the stitch in my side as I opened the flat's door, and shut out the door behind me, cutting off the cold wind that had been blowing in. Fortunately, my room was the first door on the right, and I hastily stepped inside and shut the door behind me. With a flick of my wand the lights sprang to life, and a quiet hooting was heard. My head snapped to the open window, and I saw my small owl, Quill sitting on the ledge. I gasped in horror and ran over to him. I'd been neglecting him badly, and so pulled him into my hands and coo-ed gently to him.

"I'm sorry, i'm sorry" I whispered. "Quill, go to the Hogwarts owlery, they'll have food there". Quill hooted softly. "Whenever i'm to busy, you go there" I commanded. I hadn't been looking after him properly lately, and why should I make him suffer, make him miserable as well as myself. I held him out the window and he flew into the night. I sighed and shut the window again, before slipping off my cloak and turning towards the bed. I froze.

There, laying in the middle of my bed, was a single rose. But this wasn't a typical rose, this rose had black petals and a dark grey stem. Cautiously, I walked towards it as if it might jump up and bite me. I reached out carefully and picked it up, holding it infront of my face, examining it. Attached to the stem was a small white tag with neat black writing. As I read it I gasped, and flung the rose across the room, before pointing my wand at it and burning it. Relief swept through me as I left the pile of ashes and got myself ready for bed.

But even though I told myself to forget it, the note stayed firmly in my mind. And for the first time in a long time, I was dreaming of the forest and the manic laughter.

_...Watch your back..._

*

I had pushed the note to the back of my mind, though it seemed to be imprinted in my mind and wouldn't go away that easy. I wondered if the dream was somehow connected to the rose, but then pushed the thought aside aswell. A dream was a dream, and it wouldn't effect reality, or so I hoped. So, having pushed the dream aside, my mind was drifting between two things, the note and Remus. I was worried sick for him, and I missed him dearly. I was feeling really emotional and had to bite my lip to stop the tears flowing from my eyes. I guess it didn't help that after a late night i'd been woken up at four in the morning. I'd tossed and turned so much in the night that I barely got an hours sleep. And just as I drifted off, Savage woke up.

I heard a bump, a clang and Savage's voice squeal several swear words and then a loud thump. I was totally annoyed and went to tell him to shut up, but as I got to the door, Proudfoot had sat up from the bed on the other side of the room, grabbed his pillow and threw it at Savage, who fell backwards onto the floor at the pillows impact. Proudfoot then proceeded to wave grumpily at me, before burying his head in his pillow (the one he hadn't chucked) once more. Savage apologised profusely for disturbing me, but after that I couldn't get back to sleep.

After eating breakfast, and occassionally drifting off (which had resulted too me smacking my head on the table several times, and waking up abruptly), I had looked in the mirror and felt like screaming in horror at my reflection. My eyes had dark circles around them, my hair was longer than before, mousy brown and slightly greasy, making me feel worse. My skin was pale, but had a weird look to it that I couldn't properly describe. And after all that, I had decided that I really needed to get out, so I had walked around the village all morning, watching as students from Hogwarts were running from one Hogsmead building to the next. It was safe to say it was freezing, the stormy weather was getting worse, sleet was raining down hard and the wind was as rough as hell. But hey, I was as rough as hell, and it would take a lot more than a little storm to make me run inside like so many others were doing.

I walked slowly up the lane, heading towards the Three Broomsticks when I saw four figures standing outside it. Which was odd, because no-one in there right mind would be standing out in this weather. And I do not count, because I am not in my right mind, I don't even know what mind i'm in.

As I got closer I saw one of the figures was Harry and he was pining Mundungus to the wall. Hermione and Ron were standing with him. Suddenly Harry's hand flew away from Mundungus's neck. Mundungus grabbed a case from the floor and with a crack he disapparated as I reached them. Harry swore loudly.

"COME BACK, YOU THIEVING-".

"There's no point, Harry" I said, and he spun round in surprise, obviously he hadn't expected to see me. "Mundungus will probably be in London by now. There's no point yelling" I said, calmly.

"He's nicked Sirius's stuff! Nicked it!" he said, slightly hysterically.

"Yes, but still" I said, trying my best not to shrug. Sirius had never liked anything in Grimmauld Place anyway, and everyone knew Mundungus as a thief, "you should get out of the cold". I ushered them through the door of the Three Broomsticks, before carrying on my walk through Hogsmead. My destination now... Madam Puddifoots's. Oh joy! The haunt of happy couples, well when I was at school it was, and I presumed it hadn't changed, though I hadn't been there since fifth year.

The one thing good about it that I remembered was that they served the best coffee, and I was so tired I could really use one. My mind wandered back to Harry and Mundungus, I should probably report it, or otherwise investigate it myself. But not now, because now I had just arrived outside Madam Puddifoot's.

I pushed the door open and felt the cold air leave me and the warmth surround me as the door swung shut behind me. I looked around at all the couples, giggling, chatting, and oh dear god, making out. My heart twisted as I walked through them, making my way to the counter. All these happy couples, didn't know how good they'd got it. My mind flicked back to Remus. What was he doing right now? Was he thinking about me, or was I unimportant? I wondered what it would be like to be a proper couple with Remus, holding hands, snuggling up together, being able to kiss him whenever I wanted. The corner of my mouth twitched at the thought.

"Dear, dear" said a woman at the counter. I snapped out of my thoughts. "What would you like?".

"Coffee. Black. Strong" I mumbled, sweeping a hand through my hair, which was wet from the sleet.

"In, or take out?" she asked.

"Out" I said, dreading staying in here any longer. She smirked at me, which made me scowl.

"Ok, it's be a sec" she said, disappearing through a door behind her. I heaved a heavy sigh, she was probably laughing at me right now.

"Tonks!" someone called from behind me. I turned round and saw a smiling Ginny sitting near the window, with a guys arm draped around her, waving me over. I quickly moved through the shop and came over to her table.

"Hey Gin, what's up" I said, trying to come across as casual and happy. I don't think she was convinced, as she frowned at me.

"You got my letter?" she questioned.

"Yes I did Gin. And, rest assured, I am perfectly fine" I said. "Just a little tired from work" I elaborated, hoping she would be reassured.

"Ok, well this is Dean" she said, guesturing to the boy beside her.

"Wotcher Dean".

"Hello" he said, smiling nervously at me. He then turned to look out the window, which was a good thing too because I raised my eyebrows at Ginny, who shrugged.

"Oi, miss" shouted the lady behind the counter. "Coffee".

"Ok" I called back. "Listen Ginny, I got to run, got some business to take care of, but if you need me, just write. Okay?" I asked.

"Ok, thanks Tonks" she smiled and I half ran to the counter, and grabbed my coffee. I was about to pay when she patted my arm away.

"Your one of the aurors keeping Hogwarts safe, keeping my daughter safe" she said, simply. "Coffee's on the house". I smiled slightly as a thanks and exited the building, feeling better than I had before I went in there. The fact that I meant so much to someone, that they trusted me keeping there kid safe gave me an odd feeling. Satisfaction?

And as I had nothing else to do, I took a swig of my coffee which burnt my tongue and the walls of my mouth, before turning on the spot and disapparating. I landed in a dark street, rain was pouring hard here and sewage ran along drains on the ground. I had arrived in the Dung Heap. To the right of me were two wooden doors, both were placed diagonally, like the doors you got outside the house that lead down to the cellar. I didn't expect Mundungus to be here, but I rapped on the doors three times before waiting patiently. After several long minutes, I was about to give up, when one of the doors swung open. Mundungus's head poked out and looked me up and down several time, before finally recognising me.

"Tonksie" he greeted. "What can I do you for?" he asked.

"First of all, i'd like to come in out of the rain. My coffee cups getting wet" I said, guesturing to my cup, not caring about whether I was wet or not.

"Of course Tonksie" he smiled, leered more like. He disappeared through the gap again and I followed him, treading carefully down the steps that lead into his place, and shutting the door on top of me so the rain could no longer get in. "So, what else can I do ya for? Didn't see ya at the last meeting, where ya been?".

"Busy" I answered, simply. "Was that when you nicked Sirius's posessions then? At the last meeting?" I asked, plainly, though I inwardly smirked as the colour drained from his cheeks.

"Well, ya see, I-".

"I'm not here to listen to your excuses. I bumped into Harry just after you left, you do realise that that is all now his stuff that your nicking and that I will be informing Dumbledore" I smirked. "Just thought I'd warn you".

"But, I... Tonksie-" he spluttered.

"Don't call me that" I snapped. "Your lucky that i'm not arresting you Mundungus" I spat.

"What happened to ya, Tonks? You was always so cheerful, like. Now ya this" he said.

"Things change. People change. I will be writing to Dumbledore as soon as I get back to inform him of your activities, and i'm sure he'll want to speak with you" I said, "after all, you've made Harry very upset. And Dumbledore's very protective of him, isn't he?". Mundungus froze in shock. I walked back over to the doors and pushed them open, before climbing the steps to let me back out. I stood in the rain for a second, as Mundungus popped his head up.

"Wait Tonks-".

"Bye" I said, turning on the spot and disappearing with a crack. I landed clumsily on the path outside the flat that I shared with the guys, and sighed heavily. It was probably best that I get some sleep before I went on duty tonight, I could write a letter to Dumbledore tonight. But then I remembered that i'd sent Quill off to the Hogwarts owlery for awhile. Oh well, I would send him a patronus instead. But it was cold and stormy outside, more so than before, so I ran quickly up the stairs seeking shelter. I slammed the door hastily behind me, shutting out the wind and sleet.

"Savage" called Proudfoot coming out of the kitchen. "Oh- it's you".

"Nice to see you too" I said, sarcastically.

"Sorry, but Savage is with the Minister. They've gone to St. Mungos and then the Minister wants to talk to him about todays events" explained Proudfoot.

"Todays events?" I queried, confused.

"A student from Hogwarts was cursed today, she's in St. Mungos fighting for her life. I believe the student's name is Katie Bell? I'm sure that's what the Minister said. Anyway, he's not happy, and as Savage was on duty...".

"The Minister blames him?" I asked, incredulously.

"I think so" said Proudfoot, gravely.

"Poor Savage".

"Yeah, but Savage is a good auror, and he can keep calm in these situations. The Minister won't do nothing to him, and our head of department hasn't been in touch at all" explained Proudfoot.

"Our head of department isn't much good, is he?".

"Nope".

"Do you reckon it's a one off, or is this just the beginning?" I asked, feeling very low, and already knowing the answer.

"I'm sad to say, I think this is only the beginning. Darker times are yet to come, and I will be fighting them all the way..."

Reluctantly, I agreed.

**Ok, grrr, tired. Soooo tired. Anyway, bit of a duff ending I know, but hey, sometimes things in life do have duff endings. Don't worry I have more 'exciting stuff' coming. When I say exciting I mean interesting. When I say interesting, I mean different. And when I say different I mean my brain has a load of mad ideas that I will put down on paper and use for another chapter. But anyways, on your way out of the browser page, please click on the review chapter box, because it would make me smile. (again, to infrequent for my liking). Gurugirl signing off...**


	34. Red Paint and Yellow Eyes

**EXTREMELY Short chapter. Again, so much homework, hardly any time to write. Oh, and now i'm addicted to Torchwood. Brilliant *sarcasm*. So read on my evil minions... tee hee :p By the way, the next one will be longer, but this bit needs to be in there as it gets my plot moving a bit. And no worries, remus will be back very soon :p**

**Red Paint and Yellow Eyes**

_November fourth._

Well that's what the calender said, anyway. I stood at the window of my bedroom, at the flat I shared with the other Aurors. The sky outside was a deep blue, rather than black, and had small twinkling stars shinning on the surface. I pursed my lips and sighed, no matter what I did, my thoughts always drifted back to Remus, and even though I had vowed not to give up on him, I knew I couldn't just drift around and sulk anymore. I sighed again and ran a finger across the latch of my window. As observed before, my window was big enough to fit a person through it easily. I contemplated whether the original owners of this flat had planned to use the window in a form of suicide, but then shivered and shook my head. I would not do well to dwell on such things in my current emotional state.

Still I was curious. Perhaps I could use this window and climb out onto the roof, to see the stars better. It was a clear night, which was rare, and the stars truely were beautiful. I flicked the latch without realising it, and thrust the window open. It opened to the right, which would make it easier to climb out. I stuck my head out first and looked to the left, and saw several bricks sticking out of the un-even exterior. If I could swing myself sideways out of the window, I could use those few bricks to hoist myself up onto the roof, which was even enough for sitting on.

"Not thinking of jumping, are you?" came a casual voice from behind me, startling me. I pulled back and turned to see Savage standing at my door with a curious expression on his face.

"Course not" I said, sighing. "Just stargazing".

"The stars are rather pretty tonight. I sometimes think of the stars as eyes, watching the world below. Imagine how many years they've been up there. All the stories they could tell" whispered Savage, maybe not to me, not to anybody, just generally voicing his opinions out loud. Sometimes his opinions surprised me, and sometimes I couldn't find an appropriate reply.

"Umm, yeah I guess" I mumbled. "Actually, I was thinking of maybe climbing on the roof, to see them better" I explained, trying to make conversation.

"Hmm, sounds good" he muttered, before coming over to the window and peering out in the exact same way I had done, several minutes before. "You could fit yourself through quite easily".

"Yeah" I said. Before I knew it, he jumped up onto the window edge and slipped out. "What are you doing?".

"Well, I know how clumsy you can be, so i'm going to help you get up here" he said, moving over slightly. "Climb onto the window ledge". Without a second thought, I climbed up and slipped out the window as well. Savage then moved along and, using the few loose bricks, climbed successfully onto the roof. I followed him, and as I stepped on the last available loose brick, he grabbed my arm and helped me onto the roof.

The roof was slanted, but not so slanted that you would slide off. We sat with quite a big gap between us, and as I looked up at the beautiful stars, it was quite easy to imagine that I was alone. The stars and the clear nights sky had a sort of effect on me, they calmed me, unscrambled my confused and over-emotional brain, and just let me relax. I sighed in contentment, not even bothering to check what Savage was doing. But soon my thoughts were interrupted and my contentment crumbled as someone from the ground, who bore the resemblense of an ant, shouted at us.

"SAVAGE? TONKS? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" shouted Proudfoot, recognised only by voice because he was so small and it was hard to focus on him, no joke. I let out an irritated sigh, before cupping my mouth with my hands and shouting back.

"Stargazing".

"OH OK" he shouted back.

Savage leaned forward a little. "Mars is bright tonight" he half shouted, but somehow his voice carried all the way down to Proudfoot, who we suddenly heard hearty laughter from. I tried to smile at this comment, but I found that it took a lot of effort, so just stayed neutral. Though I couldn't help but notice how much like a centaur he sounded. I was so lost in my own thoughts, that I didn't notice Proudfoot's disappearance until a couple of minutes after.

"Where'd he go?" I asked Savage, curiously.

"He's coming up here" he said, casually. "Tonks are you alright? You seem kind of, preoccupied in a way. Like your here, but your mind is somewhere else".

"I have a lot to think about" I said, vaguely, picking at the sleeve of my sweater. There was a loose bit of thread that I kept pulling and twisting. I noticed a few days ago that when I did this, it was always because I wanted to avoid something.

"Maybe you shouldn't bottle it all up, Tonks".

"There's nothing much to bottle up Savage" I said, sighing. He looked at me with a dubious expression.

"Ok then, but if you ever need someone to talk to-"

"I know, Savage" I said, perhaps a little rudely, so added, "Thanks". Just then a loud pop was heard from beside Savage, and Proudfoot appeared, rather wobbly, on the roof beside him.

"What took you so long? Did you go via Antarctica?" asked Savage, as Proudfoot sat down beside him, looking rather nervous.

"I was going to climb, but then I remembered my massive fear of heights" muttered Proudfoot. "Lucy used to tease me like mad when I was younger, can't believe I let it slip my mind".

"Who's Lucy?" I asked, curious.

"My little sister. Well, not so little anymore, but she'll always be my little sister to me" he explained.

"Well, to take your mind off it" Savage said. "Accio Butterbeer". There was a clanking sound heard from inside, and then three bottles of butterbeer zoomed out my open window, and into Savages hands. He passed us each one of them, then waved his wand energetically. The bottle caps sprung off, and I took a swig.

The butterbeer's warmth filled me up, as the chilly november wind surrounded me. I regretted not wearing gloves or my scarf, which were lying on my bed in my room, and hugged my knees to me. Putting my bottle between two tiles on the roof so it would wouldn't spill, I played with a lock of my mousy brown hair, and bit my lip. Remus was in my head. He was always in my head, and everytime I thought about him, I felt butterflies in my stomach and the sting of tears in my eyes. My emotions were all over the place, because I was so in love with him, so in love with him but sometimes I felt angry with him. Angry that he was hiding behind excuses, that he was telling himself that we couldn't be together because he'd hurt me, but I hurting now. Right here, right now, without him...

As soon as I felt a tear sting in my eye, I hastily rubbed it away and looked back at the stars. I was vaguely aware of the guys chatting besides me, but there voices seemed to get lost in the wind, as I layed back on the roof and let the beauty of the stars engulf me, so I no longer had to think...

*

The following night, I had just fell asleep after a particularly long day of 'guarding the school', when Proudfoot came in and roughly shook me awake, practically screaming my name in panic.

"Tonks, Tonks, Nymphadora Tonks get up now!" he shouted, roughly shaking me.

"Don't call me that" I said, groggily as I sat up, hoping to avoid anymore of the shaking.

"Well get up quick, and come with me" his voice change to a panicked whisper.

"Why? What's going on? Hogwarts hasn't been-" I trailed off.

"No, no, Hogwarts is fine, Dawlish is there" he said, impatiently. "It's Savage, he just sent a distress call from his house. Somethings happened, and I need back up, so come on". At with that, I jumped out of bed, all tiredness leaving me, and grabbed my cloak and clunky boots to put over my night clothes. They were big and ideal for bad weather and easy to slip on. I hastily fastened the buttons on my cloak, as Proudfoot bounced impatiently on the balls of his feet. As soon as I'd fastened the last button, Proudfoot dashed out the door, and I hastily followed him. He stood waiting for me at the top of the steps and as I got to him, he grabbed my upper arm and disapparated with me in a flash.

We landed on a dark lane, on one side was a church, with a grave yard, that look creepy in the moonlight, and on the other was a smaller lane, which Proudfoot promptly ran up, and I followed him. As we reached the end of the lane, and turned the corner, I gasped in shock and horror. In front of me was a small cottage that was up in flames, and one side had caved in. I let out a weird noise, somewhere between a sob and a choke, and Proudfoot ran towards the house, but stopped on the grass several meters away, and kneeled down. I walked quickly towards him, and as I came closer I realised that Proudfoot was kneeling next to an extremely shaken Savage. In the fire light, I saw his pale face, and shaking hands. Fear shone in his eyes, and I knelt down beside him also and put an arm around his shoulder.

"I'm going to put out the fire, Tonks" Proudfoot whispered, standing up. I nodded and turned to face Savage. His image was now even more shocking. His clothes were torn and his lip was bleeding.

"Savage, what happened?" I asked, but he just shook his head, unable to speak. I found myself glancing at the ground, and then back to his face, and then I froze. My head snapped round so fast to look at the ground again, that my neck clicked loudly. I took out my wand and cast lumos on the ground. There, right under where Savage was sitting, was a giant M written in red. I cast my wand light to the right of the M and found the letter U. I stood up and walked past the U and found the letter D. I carried on walking until I was at the other side of the garden, and had strung all the letters together, to make the unforgiveable word; MUDBLOOD.

Proudfoot finished putting out the fire, and I slapped a hand to my mouth. Savage was a muggleborn, and an Auror, a perfect target for deatheaters. You want to show the wizarding world your untouchable, attack those who are trying to fight them. I stared so transfixed at the shinning red letters, trying not to think about what the red 'paint' might actually be, that I jumped ten feet in the air when I heard...

_'Meow...'_

I turned to shine my light on a bush less than a metre away from me, and sitting under than bush was a large ginger and white cat, with an elegant frame and sparkling yellow eyes. It walked up to me and rubbed itself against my leg, wanting to be stroked. I scratched it behind the ears, and it tried to climb into my hands. On impulse, I picked up the cat, and walked over to Savage, who was now being calmed by Proudfoot.

"Savage, is this your cat?" I asked, guesturing to the cat in my arms. The cat, upon seeing Savage, jumped out of my arms and went over to him, settling on his knee. "Take that as a yes then".

"Mark, what happened?" asked Proudfoot. Mark? Oh right, that was Savage's first name. "Who did this?".

"They did it" he whispered. I couldn't believe how I was seeing Savage. He was always so calm, and cool and unfazed. He would say and do things to make others uncomfortable at times, but he was always himself. But this was like kneeling next to a frightened little boy, and sadness filled me because there was nothing I could do.

"Your lucky you survived" whispered Proudfoot.

"Proudfoot" I hissed.

"What, I was just saying-"

"Well don't" I snapped.

"It's alright Tonks, he's right" muttered Savage, stroking his cat.

"What's his name?" I asked, trying to distract Savage.

"Scratch. His names Scratch".

"He's a beautiful cat" I said, before turning to Proudfoot. "You'll have to inform the Ministry Proudfoot, we shouldn't delay it any longer. We should have really informed them as soon as you got the distress call. Scrimgeour won't be happy" I said.

"I don't care whether he's happy" snapped Proudfoot. "But I admit, he's not going to like this at all. He'll possibly try to cover it up, he won't report it to the prophet, which I guess is a good thing".

"Yeah, except were thinking about Savage, and he'll be thinking about how 'weak' this makes him look. But we do need to inform him. Also, on the grass there are letters written in red 'paint', or at least, I prefer to call it paint. Mudblood they spell. It's not pretty. Savage, how did you escape this?" I asked.

"They attacked me, I fought them. Then one of them grabbed there left arm" he remarked. " 'Masters calling' ". That's what I heard them say, but on the way out, they decided burning my house down would be fun" he said, bitterly, and with a bit more life in his voice.

"We'll get it fixed Savage, no worries" I said, in what I hoped was a reassuring manner.

"Tonks, take him to the flat. He needs to rest, he's had a terrible shock. I'll inform the Ministry and clear this whole thing up" instructed Proudfoot. I nodded in agreement, this wasn't the best place for Savage right now. I helped Savage to his feet, as he clung to his cat like a life buoy, and held onto him tight as I span on the spot and side-long apparated him.

We landed several steps away from the spiral staircase, which we now had to climb. Seemed there was protection against anyone apparating up them. I half carried half dragged Savage up the stairs, as he seemed in no fit state to move by himself. By the time I got him to his room, I was panting and sweating and I swear I was a few pounds lighter than before. Savage got into bed, fully dressed. He just couldn't get undressed himself, and I was not going to help him with that. He curled into a ball and closed his eyes, letting Scratch crawl away from him to curl up at the end of the bed. I shut the curtains in his room, gave Scratch a quick stroke, and left his room as silently as possible.

The rest of the night was spent sitting in the kitchen, eating vast amounts of chocolate and waiting for news. Proudfoot returned around two in the morning, and gave me details of what had happened once i'd left. This is what he said in his own words.

_"The Minister turned up, with several Aurors and his assistant. The house is currently being restored to it's previous state, and the word MUDBLOOD that was spilled out on the grass was indeed written in blood. It has been cleared up and the nights events have been filed. The Minister wants you to write a statement, accounting your version of the nights events for the files. Also, he will need a statement from Mark _(Savage, I still can't bring myself to use the first name, I don't know why) _but I think we'll leave that a day or two, until Mark has recovered from the shock of tonights events"._

With a quick nod of understanding, I exited the kitchen and and entered my own room. That night the terrible dreams of manic laughter plagued me.

_"Such a nieve little girl... trusting the forest to shield you... stupid mistake..." _

In the morning, I would find myself waking in a cold sweat.

**Ok, so this was a short sharp chapter I reckon. Just something to keep you going until I can wiggle Remus back in. He should return in about 2 chapters, I hope. Anyway please review, and yes, this is all part of of a plot... p.s. Next chapter should be really soon, i'm getting back into the swing of it. p.p.s. that doesn't include this chapter, which I know isn't really good. Unfortunately it had to be in here. sorry, enough rambling. Bye x**


	35. Reasons to be down

**Hello everybody... Did ya miss me? Do ya love me? Well if you do, drop me a review. Ok, so this chapter is being put up earlier than i'd orginally planned, but there is a good reason for this. It's my BIRTHDAY!! I am now officially 16, and completely hyper! I got lots of money and John Barrowman's CD, and it's awsome, so don't laugh!! Sorry, but he's an awsome dude! So I finished off this chapter for you (neglecting my revision) so enjoy! P.s. this is the last chapter before Remus comes in. yes people, you heard it right, Remus will be in chapter 36, but for now enjoy chater 35!**

**Reasons to be down**

Remember me saying Savage had to have time to recover from bonfire night? Well, recovering from the bonfire night of hell was not what Savage was doing. For the last week, me and Proudfoot have taken it in turns to take over Savage's duty, because he has locked himself in his room. Yes, you can say that this is childish and I agree, but I know why he's doing it and he has my sympathy. Still, it's getting a little old now. Proudfoot has been either going to his own home to sleep because Savage will not let him in there shared bedroom (sounds creepy), or sleeping on the landing. I found him on the landing just yesterday, snoring his head off after doing the late night duty. It was all getting a bit boring now, and sooner or later Savage would have to come out, we suspected he came out when we weren't there for the basic things, and we could give up banging on his door, trying to persuade him to come out. Although, Proudfoot left food by Savage's door once in awhile, and it kept disappearing so obviously he must have came out at some point. Another thing, his cat Scratch has taken a shine to me. Don't ask how that happened, I just came home after duty last night and there he was meowing at me, and wrapping himself around my ankles. He hissed at Dawlish when he saw him, and tried to scratch his eyes out, living up to his name. We found it quite comical, and we were sure Savage would have to if he'd not been shut in his room. But enough of my rambling, this is what i'm doing now...

I was now climbing the stairs to get into our little flat, sipping out of a bottle of butterbeer. No fear, I have not turned alcoholic, but it's a cold november afternoon and our flat is crap for heating. I walk around it in my scarf and gloves, and I have recently conjured blue flames and put them in a jar beside my bed. I do miss my flat, but I have so much duty, that it's more convenient if I stay in Hogsmead. As I open the door to the flat, I am greeted with the sounds of Proudfoot banging on Savage's door. Again. I don't bother with taking my outside clothes off as I shut the door behind me, it really is cold.

"Savage, open up. It's just me, i'm not going to attack you" called Proudfoot, through the crack of the door. I walked down the hall towards him.

"How do I know it's really you?" Savage called back.

"Seriously? Seriously! This is getting boring now" said Proudfoot, looking thoroughly annoyed.

"Savage, it's Tonks. Can I come in for a second?" I said. "Please mate, I just want to talk". Just then Scratch appeared out of nowhere and meowed at my feet. "And Scratch is here too". By some miracle his door opened just a fraction, but it was enough for me to push open a bit more. Savage let me and Scratch in, but when Proudfoot tried to enter, he slammed the door shut again.

"Hey! It's my room too" came Proudfoot's voice from the other side of the door.

"Proudfoot, just go... amuse yourself for awhile, okay?" I called back, suddenly realising how dirty my suggestion would have sounded, to rude minded people. Proudfoot didn't answer, but I heard shuffling footsteps and then the sound of a door being opened and then shut. Proudfoot was gone. I turned to face the bedroom, which I had only ever seen a glimpse of and recoiled in horror. No, the place was not disgustingly dirty, or really gothic and dark, or like a guys room at all. The place was totally spotless. Beds made, floor clean, clothes tidy, no abandoned socks looking for there other half (like mine usually were), no dust, no dirt, no nothing. Savage was sitting on his bed, observing me with either interest or distrust.

"How come it's so clean? I thought men were ment to be slobs" I said, vaguely, mainly to myself thinking of my dad. He really was a slob.

"I like things tidy" Savage muttered. I turned to face him directly, Scratch had now jumped onto his bed, and was napping in his lap.

"Yeah well, i've seen tidy, and this ain't it. This is seriously, insanely tidy".

"What do you want, Tonks?" he asked, his voice suddenly sharp.

"I want you to stop mopping around in this room, and actually do something constructive" I said clearly, sitting down on the end of his bed and looking at him pointedly.

"I can't" he whispered, laying back so he was looking at the ceiling, and avoiding my gaze. Scratch meowed in annoyance at it's owners new position, and jumped lightly of his lap onto the floor.

"Why not?".

"I just can't" he whispered. "People Tonks. People hate me. People look at me and think 'mudblood'. They don't want me around, they want me rid of don't they? Don't they, Tonks?".

"Savage stop it".

"And maybe I should let them get rid of me. Maybe my blood is dirty, maybe i'm not a good wizard. What if there right?".

"Savage, I mean it. Stop this" I said, weakly. His eyes shifted in my direction, and he stopped talking for a second. But that second was soon over.

"Why Tonks? Why don't you just face it? I'm not wanted by half the wizarding world, and you know what? Neither are you" he said. Those last three words struck me like a hot iron, and my head began to spin. I gulped loudly, before looking back at Savage.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I have nothing against you Tonks, really I don't. Your a really cool woman, and your incredibly talented, but a lot of people don't see you like that".

"Explain to me then, how do people view me? How do you view me?" I asked. "Tell me, I want to know".

"To me, like I said, you are incredibly talented. You think logically, but can also think on your feet. Your quite smart, and willing to try anything. For example, climbing out of your window to get onto the roof, just to see if the stars looked better from there. Also, you have an amazing amount of courage, which unfortunately, many ministry employees lack" he said, a hint of a smile returned to his face, but it quickly vanished. "Theres something I want to ask you, though. About your morphing. Why has it not changed since the summer?" he asked, quite bluntly.

"I can no longer change it. Something happened, over the summer. I don't want to discuss it now" I said, giving him a look that I hope he interpreted as 'case closed'. For now anyway. "So that's how you view me? I don't trust your vision then".

"How do you view yourself, then? If i'm wrong" he said, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Clumsy. Completely illogical. Yeah, maybe I have a bit of courage, but only when I need it. I'm not to bright, there are smarter people than me. And completely undesirable" I said, bitterly.

"How'd you get to that?".

"Doesn't matter" I muttered.

"Yeah it does".

"How did this conversation go from you to me like that" I asked, snapping my fingers.

"I don't know. But I do want to know why you think your undesirable. You don't just say stuff like that for no reason" he said, looking at me curiously. I shifted my eyes to his shoulder.

"I do" I said, quickly. "How do other people view me?".

"I dunno whether...".

"Please".

"Ok" he said, sighing. "Well to the deatheaters you are a bloodtraitor. Your in the order, so your a definite target. Also, several of your family are in with 'you-know-who' and would probably think it dishonour or something that you choose the good side. And you have valuable powers, they could use them to manipulate people. And most of those reasons are why the good side don't trust you, well, I say good side, but it's us or them. And we may be fighting for good, but some people... anyway, where was I? Oh yes, your morphing. Most people would say that you don't show your true face, they can't fully trust who the real you is. And you have links to the deatheaters, through family and everything. It's just stupid prejudice, Tonks" he reeled off, looking uncomfortable. With every reason he'd uttered, I felt my stomach flip with discomfort and hurt.

"And you? Do you believe them?" I asked, "do you think i'm untrustworthy? Good side or bad side, Savage. Which one am I on?" I suddenly felt furious. How could people think this. It wasn't like I asked for this. And then it hit me. Realisation. This was prejudice, and it feels horrible. And Remus, he had to feel this every day of his life, ten times worse, and he still has to. It never stops. I never fully understood why people let prejudice get to them, but now it was becoming clearer. I felt sick to my stomach for what people were saying behind my back, and what they were doing to Remus, and how they were pushing Savage over the edge.

"Tonks, I believe you are good. And I do trust you. Why do you think I let you in here, and not Proudfoot?".

"Don't you trust him?" I asked.

"It's hard to know. I mean, he's a pureblood. He's been brought up to look down on people like me" he explained.

"I don't think he hates you, quite the opposite. He really cares, your his friend. Why do you think he's been camping on the landing, and leaving you food at the door?" I said, laughing humourlessly at goodness knows what.

"That was him?" Savage asked, incredulously.

"Duh" I said, and he chuckled. "See, not all purebloods feel the same way about muggleborns, my mums a pureblood and she married a muggleborn, and you shouldn't feel that way about yourself".

"And you shouldn't call yourself undesirable for no reason" he said, smirking. I went quiet. Why had I called myself that? I guess, in the back of my mind, some part had convinced me that the reason Remus didn't want to be with me was because I was so undesirable. It sounds stupid, but I have a million and one of these theories. "Is there a reason behind it?".

"No" I said, forcing a smile. "No, just me being silly. And you, are also being silly".

"Yeah I know" he said, glumly. "I just felt so..."

"Afraid? Weak? Totally pissed off with deatheaters and Voldemort" he shivered, but gave a small smile.

"Yes".

"Well you are none of those, well maybe the 'pissed off with deatheaters' part is correct, but you are not weak, and you shouldn't be afraid" I said.

"I've been stupid, haven't I?".

"Yes".

"Do you always tell the truth" he asked.

"Most of the time".

"Ok, then answer me this. What happened to you?" he asked. I stared at him, his question had took me by surprise, and I didn't know what to make of it.

"What do you mean?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"You said, last summer something happened to you. Something that changed you, so that you can no longer morph. And i've seen you around the ministry when I didn't really know you, and you were always bubbly and outgoing. And now your..."

"Depressed?" I ventured.

"Pretty much".

"It's complicated. Well actually, it isn't that complicated. It's just that, it's kind of personal, and I don't know whether..." I stopped, thinking.

"You can trust me?" he ventured, looking sad.

"I know that sounds really bad, because you trust me. But it's hard for me to know who to trust. I want to tell you, but i'm afraid too. Does that make sense?" I asked, because in actual fact I had no idea what i'd just rambled.

"Yeah it does" he said. "Is it to do with the Order of the Pheonix?" He asked. I looked at him sideways. How on earth... "Oh, don't look at me like that Tonks, everyone knows your in with them. And I think it's great. You can trust me Tonks, I swear, whatever you tell me I shall take to my grave".

And then, for some reason, I believed him. Just like that. And so I made him a little bargain, I would tell him everything, and then when Proudfoot came back Savage would explain all that he had said to me. Because they were friends, no... we were friends. And Proudfoot was the only one who could convince Savage that he wasn't like most prejudice purebloods. He agreed with me, and then I told him everything. Because once i'd started talking, it was hard to stop. I told him off the earlier days of the order, meeting Remus, falling for him, all the little bits in between and then the hard stuff. Sirius, the pain, the excuses. And Savage didn't interrupt once, he let me talk myself into silence, listening carefully to every word I said.

"I don't understand the last bit Tonks, how is he dangerous?" Savage asked, confused. I hadn't mentioned Remus was a werewolf, because in my mind, it hardly even registered. Remus was a man, not a monster as everyone claimed werewolves to be.

"Remus Lupin, is a werewolf" I said, bluntly, looking straight at Savage for any trace of emotion. Something that would make me think twice. Fear, revulsion, horror. But there was none, just acceptance. I breathed inwardly a sigh of relief.

"Oh, well then I see his point". I blinked. "He is dangerous, he could hurt you Tonks. I understand his reasons" he said, not unkindly.

"You agree with him?" I asked.

"I said I understand his reasons, didn't say I agreed" he said, "but if I were in his position... actually, I don't know what i'd do. No bloody clue".

"I love him" I said, firmly.

"Then he's an idiot" he smiled at me. And so it went from there, I explained everything and he listened. And then he talked, just a little bit, on how different the world was around him, and that he wasn't frightened anymore. And then Proudfoot came back, and Savage ran out of the room and hugged him so hard I thought Proudfoot's eyes would pop out. It was quite comical, the three of us. But something about Savage was off. I don't know how to explain it but if I had to put it in words I would say that when he hugged Proudfoot, it looked a bit over affectionate. But i'm probably just imagining it, nothing to worry about. Well, nothing to worry about yet...

*

_As we moved into December, the winter grew harsher, and the deatheaters harsher still. More missing reports, more families being torture and ripped apart, more people dying at the hands of filth. And so much of this was hushed up. To make the public believe it wasn't as bad as it was. But we knew the truth. We were the insiders, the ministry link if you will. And we found out everything that was going on, mainly through Proudfoot and Dawlish because they were trusted above all other aurors. Well, except Kingsley perhaps, but I hadn't seen him since he'd gone to guard the muggle prime minister. Proudfoot told us everything he heard, how people were becoming targets. Sometimes it was because they were mouthing off, sometimes because they were useful and sometimes for no reason what so ever. Even muggles were going missing. I remember Remus telling me, ages back, at Grimmauld place how during the first war the deatheaters killed muggles for a hobby. The thought still makes me sick. And even in the ministry, an old auror had gone missing. One morning he hadn't shown up at work, his neighbours reported loud banging sounds from the night before, and what do we find when we come to investigate. Three dead bodies with the dark mark floating above them._

_I was sent with Proudfoot that day, and seeing them lying there, there eyes open and there faces blank. All cold and pale. Scared me to hell. I wanted to be tough, and I wanted to find the bastards who had done this to a man, and his wife... and his 7 year old son. 7 years old, thats no age to die. That's not fair, it's just wrong. And that night the images became so bad in my head that Savage cast a sleeping spell on me. According to Savage, I wouldn't stop screaming. _

_And so i'm frightened, looking over my shoulder, performing my duty like everyone else but feeling so alone. So helpless. I know I sound like some sort of damsel in distress or something, but it's how it was. And I craved the time when everything was normal, Voldemort hadn't returned, and there was nothing to moan about other than bloody British weather, and nagging mothers. Nothing to worry about but paying the bills or getting a job done right. _

_So I was going back to my flat. I wanted the comfort of my own stuff, and the warmth of my own bed. I wanted to feel normal again. Normal, ordinary and boring. Little did I know that that was the last thing I was coming home to._

I stood in front of my door way, my eye glanced over the ripped door and the hinges on the floor. My heart raced with fear and excitement. Excitement because of what I might find, of the investigation. I should really send for backup, just incase whatever ripped apart my flat door, and quite possibly the rest of my flat, was still in there. Thats the weird thing about human instinct, it tells us not to do something, but we go and do it anyway.

So I pushed what was left of the door open and pulled out my wand. Casting 'lumos' I stepped into the flat and looked around my front room. The whole place looked like a bomb had hit it. The sofa was torn and flipped over, shards of glass covered the floor under my feet and I could no longer recognise any of my furniture that used to be in my flat. My eyes widen in panic as I heard a creak from down the hall. I turned sharply and cast the revealing spell, my eyes never straying from my bedroom door, which was laying on the floor in the door frame. Once the revealing spell revealed nothing what so ever, I moved swiftly down the hall, and stood on the remains of my bedroom door to enter the room. I was confronted with the same devestation as the front room, although there was a significant difference. On the wall above my bed were several words, several big black words that asked me a question...

_Are you scared yet?_

I blinked several times and looked around the room for something, anything. My eyes fell on the bed. Laying in the middle of the bed was a black rose. Identical to the one i'd recieved several months ago, and instinctively I reached towards it. It wasn't until i'd picked it up that I saw the difference. Under the rose, was a small patch of blood, which had been smeared on the underside of the rose. And that was it, human instinct kicked it. I dropped the rose, and ran out of the flat, as fast as I could, as far as I could.

I was wrong... there is DEFINETLY something to worry about!

**I haven't proof read this so mistakes have probably occured. Sorry. But please drop me a review, it is my birthday after all! And no worries, Remus is coming back!!!**


	36. Christmas Storm

**Ok, hello people, I am off sick today. And by off sick I mean I begged my mum to let me stay home to do coursework because today is a day of PSHE at school, and I loathe it. And since I wrote this I decided you needed to read it, can't keep ya hanging. Was gunna say that due to exams I won't be updating as much but we all know I will because writing this story helps me deal with exam stress, lol! I have read all your reviews and took every comment on board. Thank you! I'm sorry I haven't replied, but i've been up to my eyeballs in school work. "All mistakes in this are mine, I am un-beta'd and have not proof read. Oops!"**

_**Final Warning: I do NOT condone the use of knives, I do not want anyone reading this to think that taking a knife out with them for 'protection' is the right thing to do. It is not. Millions of innocent people die from knife attacks, and it's unexceptable. This is a story, it is a different time with different threats, and the example should not be followed.**_

**So without further delay, like I promised, I think you'll like this one... **

**Christmas storm**

I guess I should start with what happened after I ran out of my flat several weeks ago. I ran straight to Mad-eye, who fixed up my flat, and put extra protection over the flat so there was no chance of a repeat. I wondered why my charms had failed, but apparently they were to weak, easily broken down. Mad-eye also shouted constant vigilance at me a few times, because now I would need it. Someone was after me, and I was a definite target now. I suspected that I knew who was after my blood, but refused to say. Sometimes saying things out loud makes things worse. Apart from that, Mad-eye suggested extra protection on me, not just a wand. Someone was after me, I could use protection. He gave me a potion on in small flask, on sip could give me a kind of sheild over my body, which would deflect minor to moderate hexes. Also, a small silver knife which would be strapped to my leg. Only to be used as a last resort. I wasn't comfortable with using knives, but I trusted Mad-eye. **(A/N: Again, do not follow Mad-eye's example. He is a little eccentric). **But I guess I should get back to the present. And at the present, it's christmas day...

The whole day had been spent devoted to guarding Hogwarts and patrolling Hogwarts. Why had I volunteered to do christmas duty? Well, I had several other alternatives. I could visit my parents (doubt it), I could go to the Burrow where Remus was, but I wouldn't be able to act all cheery and like nothing had happened between us infront of everyone, I knew that would destroy me. So I had told Molly, I was having a quiet christmas at my flat. But then ofcourse, Proudfoot came into the flat christmas eve and asked whether i'd be willing to do duty christmas day. And naturally, I said yes.

I wish I hadn't. It had snowed all day, non-stop. And now I was cold and damp and tired. I opened my flat door, stamping the snow of my boots and shaking my damp mousy brown hair. I closed the door behind me and shrugged off my cloak, fully intending to have an early night, when someone knocked on the door behind me. I froze breifly in panic and then calmed myself down. I groaned as I looked at the clock, 10pm it read. Not so early after all.

I turned around to the door, took a deep breath and gripped the door handle, hoping beyond hope that it was someone nice coming to see me. Well, I thought, deatheaters don't usually knock do they? I opened the door.

"Mum" I said, surprised.

"Dorie darling" she said, embracing me and crushing a few bones that were vital for my exsistance.

"Ok mum, you can let go now" I squeaked out. I breathed deeply as she let me go.

"Sorry" she apologised as I ushered her in. She went and sat on the sofa as I clicked the door shut again.

"Sorry about the mess, I haven't been here much..."

"It's okay" she said, though she eyed the dust on my mantle and bit her lip. "Merry christmas" she said, pulling out a small package from her pocket. I took it from her, feeling guilty. As I opened it I apologised for not buying her anything. A small silver charm bracelet fell out into my hand.

"It's okay" she said, as i tired to do the clasp up around my wrist. She stood up and came up to me, and started fiddling with the bracelet. "You've been busy, I understand" she said, as she finally clipped the bracelet around my wrist.

"It's beautiful mum, thank you".

"Your welcome" she said, going to sit back down. "Hows your christmas been?".

"Tiring" I answered, truthfully.

"Dora, what going on with you?" she asked, bluntly.

"Want some tea?" I asked, choosing to ignore the question.

"Don't avoid the question".

"Don't ask me questions you know i'll avoid, then" I retorted softly.

"You don't write, you don't visit..."

"I've been busy" I said, which was the truth. But not the whole truth.

"Dora have you seen yourself? Have you looked in a mirror? You don't look, act or sound like yourself" she explained.

"Gee, thanks mum" I said, bitterly.

"I know the signs Dora. I want to know whats wrong, I want to help".

"You can't help".

"Why not? What happened and why can't I help my own daughter?" she asked.

"Fine. You want to know what happened? I was rejected mum" I practically shouted.

"What?" she spluttered, evidently surprised.

"I told Remus that I loved him, and I got rejected. The funny thing is, he loves me too. So I don't even no why he keeps pushing me away. How could you possibly help with that, mum?" I choked out. This wasn't something I wanted to be discussing right now.

"I can't, and I wouldn't even if I could" she said, suddenly. My head that was lowering, snapped up. "He heeded my warning" she whispered, more to herself than me. She was smiling.

"What warning?" I asked, but she ignored me. "What warning mum!?" I practically screamed.

"You can do better than him. Your better off without him" she said. I felt like i'd been slapped in the face. I didn't understand.

"Wait. What-" but I stopped abruptly, my mind back tracking. "St. Mungos. The day I came out. You weren't just having a little chat were you? What did you say to him?" I demanded.

"It was for the best".

"What did you say to him? And don't even think about lying, i've been taught ways of spotting a liar" I said, furiously. If she'd done what I thought she'd done...

"He was talking about you" she stuttered. "I saw immediately what he was thinking. He claimed to be in love with you. So I told him to leave you alone, someone like him doesn't deserve someone like you. He said he couldn't, but someone like him cannot be trusted to keep you safe. I was for the best, Dora, I only did what was best" she pleaded. I stood gobsmacked, staring at the woman I called my mother, the woman i'd trusted. The woman who I now felt burning anger towards.

"You bitch" I spat, surprising us both. "How dare you? How dare you?" I screamed.

"Dora-".

"Don't call me that" I spat. "Do you have any idea what you've done? What gives you the right? Mother, how could you?".

"Don't speak to me like that! I did what was in your best interests" she said, standing up.

"Oh really. Is this in my best interests" I asked, tugging painfully on a lock of my mousy brown hair. "I love him mum. And I should be the one to decided who's good enough for me and who's not. I'm not a child anymore. I make my own decidions, and I control my life, not you".

"What if he hurts you?".

"Remus would never hurt me".

"He's a werewolf, he could potentially hurt you" she shouted. I sneered at her as she got in my face.

"You can take the girl away from the purebloods, but you can't take the pureblood out of the girl, can you?" I snarled, she froze. "Your just as bad as the rest, pureblood prejudice never dies does it, mother? Does dad know about this? Huh, mum, have you told him?". The look on her face told me the answer was 'No'. "No, course you haven't. Because you know he'll tell you your wrong, and you wouldn't like that, would you? He'd accept it, he wouldn't threaten Remus!" I screamed.

"How do you know?".

"Because I know my dad, and so do you. You know it too" I said. "This is all about you, it's always about you" I said, not regretting a word i'd spoken, but still thinking I should get out of here before I said something that I would never be able to take back. I grabbed my cloak, and started slipping into my boots.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"None of your business" I snapped, pulling off the bracelet. I chucked it on the floor. "But you better not be here when I get back" and with that I walked out, being careful to slam the door behind me. I couldn't stand to look at her anymore.

As I walked, my mind whirled. Remus was acting on my mums orders? Well, thinking about it, it made sense. Remus would want my parents approval, he was one of those guys, but since mum had said those things to him...

I needed to find him. I needed to explain that whatever my mum says doesn't matter to me, that she's just a bitter old witch with no control over my life. Merlin, I was so angry. But my head was clear now, and I knew exactly what I was doing. For the first time in months my mind was set on something and I was determined. I had to find Remus, and I knew exactly where to look.

With a quick turn on the spot, I was standing outside the burrow. I looked up at the house, and noted a few downstairs lights on, but everywhere else in the house was dark. I walked up to the door and knocked softly, not wanting to wake anyone who was asleep. The door opened almost immediately, by a very tired looking Molly. As soon as she saw me she hugged me tight. I hugged back, feeling myself calm down from earlier events.

"Oh Tonks, it's good to see you" she said, quietly, pulling back and surveying me. "You've not been eating enough".

"Been to busy, and it's great to see you too. I know it's awfully late to drop in but-" I trailed off, letting the sentence hang unfinished.

"Nonsense, it's fine Tonks, come in" she said, ushering me into the house and shutting the door behind me.

"I'm sorry I didn't come round today. Was it good?" I asked, looking directly at Moly. She bit her lip as if she was about to cry. "What's wrong?".

"Nothing. The Minister came round earlier though, wanted to speak to Harry. And Percy came round for a bit too" I was a bit taken aback, from what I knew, Percy hadn't spoken to his family since they joined the Order. The Minister coming round wasn't really a shock though.

"Oh" I said, unsure what to say.

"How's your christmas been?" she asked, obviously trying to change the subject.

"It's been difficult... listen Molly, I know it's rude but I came round her to see whether... whether Remus was here" I said, carefully. Her face instantly lit up.

"He's in the livingroom with Arthur dear, go on through" she said, shooing me through the door to the hall. Before I was completely out of the room she muttered "he's missed you". I smiled as I made my way towards the livingroom. As I got to the door I heard voices, and stopped to listened to the conversation inside. I knew it was wrong to easedrop but it was to tempting.

"Hell basically. It's been hell, but thats nothing more than I expected. Gaining their trust was hard though, though I think i've got it now" said a voice that made my heart beat faster, my hands shake, my lip quiver and my stomach erupt in butterflies. A voice i'd heard so little of for ages.

"Thats good, right?" came Arthur's voice.

"Sure" said Remus, dismissively. "So whats things been like at the Ministry. I heard something about aurors being attacked..." he trailed off. I held my breath.

"Any particular auror you'd like to know about?" asked Arthur, his voice was innocent enough but I knew he was smirking. There was a long pause.

"How is she?" Remus whispered so low i'd barely heard him.

"I don't know, Remus. No-one does. We haven't seen her in awhile, hardly anyone has, and she no longer comes into the Ministry. Although, I heard a rumour that her flat was broken into. I don't know whether it's true..." I choose this time to make my presence known.

"It is" I said, stepping through the door, startling them both. My eyes swept over Remus once, twice and then a third tie for good measure, I stood taking everything in. His hair was more grey with streaks of brown and he had plenty more scars, but as he looked into my eyes, I saw Remus. My Remus. And my heart did some impressive acrobatics. I came and sat down on the sofa beside Arthur, Remus was sitting on a chair opposite.

"Tonks, didn't know you were here" said Arthur, pleasantly.

"Just arrived, sorry it's so late. Duty was harsh and I needed somewhere warm to visit" I was partly telling the truth, kind of rambled jumbled version of the truth, but still. "So, you were talking about the aurors before I came in?" I asked, looking straight towards Remus.

"We were discussing whats been happening at the Ministry lately" said Arthur.

"Cover ups. Lies. Rumours" I said, before looking at Remus again, and directing the next lot of information to him. "Bonfire night, a collegue of mine was attacked and his house set on fire. The word mudblood was spelt out on the grass for him in blood. He's been in shock ever since, only just got him to come out of the flat and back on duty. Minister covered it up, didn't feel the need to inform the public. Also, I was called to a house of an old auror, found him dead and his wife and child, with the dark mark floating above them. I don't know whether the public were informed" I said, looking to Arthur for help.

"I don't think so, not much of whats happening is being reported. The Minister is trying to keep the public calm" he explained, I scoffed and rolled my eyes. Apparently it was now widely known throughout the Ministry of my views towards the Minister. "I know your views against him Tonks, but he's better than Fudge".

"No arguments there Arthur, but I just don't trust him fully. He's never given me reason to" I said, with a slight huff.

"And you, Nymphadora?" said Remus, my head snapped up.

"My flat was broken into and trashed, apparently someones trying to scare me. Mad-eye fixed my flat up though, so everythings back to normal" I said. Just then Molly walked in with a mug of tea in each hand, one for Arthur and one for herself.

"Molly if I may, i've changed my mind about tea. Is it ok if I get some?" Remus asked, quietly.

"Of course dear" she said, and he left the room, not looking back at me. I heaved myself of the sofa, nodded to Molly and Arthur, before going to the kitchen. When I got there, I saw Remus standing at the window, his arms out and his hands holding onto the sides. He had his head down and seemed to be struggling with himself. I stood against the wall and watched him, but he hadn't heard me come in. After minutes of silence, I finally spoke up.

"The kettle won't boil itself you know" I said, matter-of-factly. He said nothing, but his head moved towards me a little. "Do you want me to do it?" I asked, not knowing how to get a conversation going with him. That in itself was weird.

"What do you want, Dora?" he said, turning completely towards me. A shiver ran down my spine as he said my name.

"Do you really have to ask?" was my quick reply. He looked at me intently, before taking a tentive step forward, not seeming to realise what he was doing. I pushed myself off the wall a took a step towards him, closing the gap a little more. I knew what I needed to say to him, but all thoughts of a conversation had flown from my mind.

"What am I doing?" he whispered, not needing me to answer him. Instead, I reached up and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, reveling in the warmth before pulling back slowly. His eyes were closed as I looked at him, and he had not pulled away. I put my lips back to his, and instead of pulling away he cupped my cheek with his hand and pulled me closer to him. The kiss was soft and sensual, nothing no eager, just a warm kiss that filled me up with butterflies as I caressed a newly placed scar on his cheek, one I had never seen before. My heartached for more than one reason as we broke the kiss.

"Don't speak" I whispered, begged even. "I need to speak" I said, looking up at him. He looked uncomfortable, like he wanted to step away but I couldn't let him. It truly would break me after everything tonight. "My mum visited earlier" I started feeling the need to explain, "she told me some things, things that i'd overlooked. Remus, I know what my mum said to you". He looked straight into my eyes, he moved to take his hands away but mine grabbed them back.

"What exactly did she say?" he asked.

"Everything" I replied. "Everything Remus. We argued. I was furious. I _am_ furious. She had no right to treat you like that, the thought of her saying that to you... i'm so sorry" I apologised, though it wasn't really my fault. Mum should be apologising.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. But she's right, Dora. And its just another reason on a long list of them, why we can never be..." but I put three fingers to his lips to silence him.

"Don't" I whispered.

"I have to Dora" he whispered, pulling away from me. I let him go.

"Remus, it's christmas. I miss you" I said, not moving from where I was standing. I understood he needed space, though it nearly killed me to grant him it.

"And you think I don't, is that it?" he asked, his voice controlled. "Tonks, look at me. Really look at me" he pleaded. "Look at what i've become".

"Your still Remus" I said, moving forward to place a hand on his arm. He didn't move away, but he didn't respond either.

"I'm not".

"You are still Remus, your not one of them. Let me prove it to you" I said.

"How?" he asked, clearly stunned.

"New years, The Three Broomsticks. My collegues have persuaded me to go, to celebrate. Thing is, I don't think I could celebrate it without you" I whispered, offering a small smile.

"Tonks, I..." but I cut him off.

"Remus, come. Please. Even if it's just as friends" _and how much that kills me _"I miss you, your company. I miss chatting with you and feeling happy. Please Remus".

"I'll try" he said, barely above a whisper.

"Thats all I want" I said, before kissing him on the cheek. His arms came around and he hugged me tight for a brief moment before letting go.

"I need some sleep, and so do you" he said, before moving around me to exit the room. Just before he left he whispered something so quiet I couldn't hear it properly, but before I got to ask him what he'd said, he left the room. I took a deep breath and for the first time in a long time I smiled, it wasn't exactly a date, but it was a start. _And he really is an amazing kisser_, I giggled to myself.

**Ok, hope you liked this. I enjoyed writing it. Next chapter will contain more Remus and more fluff. Cuz we all need a bit of fluff in our lives. Please review!**


	37. Memories Before Midnight

**Hello **_***ducks behind cupboard as blunt objects fly towards her* **_**yes, i've been gone for awhile and i'm very sorry. This chapter was very hard to write, the next one will be a challenge for me too, especially in the upcoming three months... Exams, whoopee! Please, do note the sarcasm. P.s. this is un-proof read and un-beta'd. All mistakes are mine. **

**VERY IMPORTANT!! READ THIS NOTE!!! : Now this chapter, I guess I should explain first, cuz some of the content may upset, annoy or disgust you. And if it does, then i'm sorry that i'm not sorry. Actually, if what's implied in here does disgust you, I will be terribly annoyed. Now, I didn't mean to write it like it is, it just happened and I kinda like it. So here we go, my first warning for you: ****implied slash****. Eep, sounds weird, and no it's not tonks or remus so ya safe, I ain't that bad. Ok in this chapter there is implied slash and I may make it into something more in the future. Now I know some of you out there don't like it, but this is my story, it will not become a big thing, but it may crop up every once in a while just to get a different reaction from tonks. Thank you for your co-operation. You have been warned.**

**So on with it. Some fluff, angst, humour, drama and alcohol...**

Memories Before Midnight

Standing looking in the bathroom mirror, no-one could say I hadn't made an effort. My hair was long and curled, all traces of grease and split ends erased (I know, disgusting). I'd applied a thick layer of black eyeliner and thick mascara which made my eyes look deeper than they were. I had put on a small bit of clear gloss on my lips and that was it. I tossed my hair over my shoulder and looked down at my outfit. I wore black leather boots with purple and black striped tights, and a ruffled black skirt that came just above my knees. I had a long sleeve purple top on with a black girls waistcoat over the top. If it didn't sound vain, I would say I looked pretty.

I smiled at my reflection, my heart filled with hope. Remus could turn up tonight, and we'd be able to spend some time together, away from everything. Of course, there was a chance he wouldn't show up, but I didn't want to dwell on that.

"Tonks" Savage shouted from the other side of the door, startling me. "Tonks get out here. I'm sure you look fine" I ignored him. "Tonks, I need a piss!" he shouted, desperately.

I opened the door and stepped out. "Charming". Savage just smiled and shuffled past, shutting the door.

"He is, isn't he?" came a voice from down the hall. I turned and saw Proudfoot coming in from the cold. "Evening Tonks".

"Evening".

"You look nice" he said, smiling.

"Thanks, you look cold" I remarked. He chuckled. "Dawlish drew the short straw for patrol tonight, then?" I asked.

"Yes, thank merlin" he said. "And i'm coming with you two, just give me a moment" and with that he disappeared into his room, as Savage came out of the bathroom.

"Was that Jacob?" he asked.

"Yep, sure was" he smiled, "and he's coming with us tonight, Dawlish drew the short straw". His smile grew even wider, but he just uttered a non-commital;

"Cool". Believe me, I was slightly confused, but put it to the back of my mind.

"Yeah" I replied, looking at what he was wearing. A crisp white shirt, black trousers and shoes, and a small silver hoop from one ear. "You look good".

"So do you" he replied, smirking cheekily. "Very sexy" I rolled my eyes, but giggled.

"Ahh, what about me?" asked Proudfoot, coming out from his room. He was pretty much dressed as Savage was, though his t-shirt was wine red and he didn't have an earring. Somehow, I didn't think he'd be able to pull it off the way Savage did.

"Oh yes, you look very sexy too" teased Savage, smirking. I wolf-whistled to add dramatic effect. Proudfoot grinned cheesily.

"Come on, let's get going then" he said, grabbing our cloaks and chucking them to us. We left the flat in good spirits and I just hoped the rest of the night would keep those spirits up.

We fought blustry winds on the way to The Three Broomsticks, so it was a relief to get into the warm. The atmosphere in the pub was different than usual, there was music and decorations and the whole place was crowded. Savage had said Madam Rosemerta was pulling out all the stops, bringing some fun to the dark times. I smiled as we made our way through the pub to a table, Savage's head bopping to the music.

"You guys want drinks?" asked Proudfoot as we got to a table.

"Oh, i'll go" I offered, quickly, wanting to look around for... someone. But I would never tell them that. "What you boys want?".

"Firewhisky please" said Savage.

"Same" said Proudfoot. I nodded and left to squeeze through the crowd. Getting to the bar was fairly easy though I did get elbowed in the ribs several times, so I was glad to reach the bar.

"Two firewhisky's and a butterbeer, please" I said to Madam Rosemerta. She tottered off to get them. While I was waiting I drummed my fingers on the bar and looked around. It was to hard to see anyone clearly through the crowd. I was so absorbed in bar watching that I jumped violently when someone tappped on my shoulder. When I turned around, my heart stopped beating for a second, and then went into over drive.

"You came" I whispered, just as my drink were put in front of me. I paid for them quickly.

"Butterbeer please" he said to Rosemerta, not taking his eyes off me.

"Coming up Remus, how you been?" she asked.

"So-so. You know how it is" he replied, and she left. "I have to warn you, I may have been followed" he warned me, quietly. I knew I should care for the warning, but at the moment I didn't. All that mattered was that he had come. Without thinking I threw my arms around him and hugged him tight, just as his drink arrived. He ignored it and hugged me back. Then guilt came over me for leaving Savage and Proudfoot on there own with nothing to drink.

"Ummm, do you want to go back to my table. I need to give these to the guys" I said, guesturing towards my drinks.

"Sure" he said, as I picked up my drinks. We made our way over to the table where Savage and Proudfoot were sitting. They looked a bit to cosy and as I got the the table they both laughed at something Proudfoot had said. I cleared my throat, and they jumped, sliding slightly away from eachother a bit. Again, I dismissed it, though the theories in my head were screaming at me.

"Your drinks" I said, putting them down on the table.

"Thanks Tonks" said Proudfoot. "Who's this?".

"Proudfoot, Savage, this is Remus Lupin a good friend of mine. Remus this is Mark Savage and Jacob Proudfoot. There my collegues".

"Not to mention friends, roommates and psychiatrists" added Savage. Proudfoot sniggered, I rolled my eyes.

"Just ignore him" said Proudfoot, leaning over to shake Remus's hand. Savage looked from me to Remus, and raised an eyebrow. I stuck out my tongue in childish retaliation. Savage shook Remus's hand and we sat down.

"So what were you guys talking about while I was away?" I asked. Both of them looked at eachother and burst out laughing again.

"Did you hear about Dawlish?" asked Proudfoot.

"No, why? What happened?" I asked.

"Well, Proudfoot found him on the edge of Hogsmead, frozen in this really ridiculous pose" Savage explained. "Looked a bit like he was imitating a chicken. Anyway, guess what the idiot had been doing? Following Dumbledore".

I spat out my drink in shock, but it was Remus who voiced my unspoken question. "Why?".

"The Ministry is very interested, more like nosy, in what Dumbledore leaves the school for. Personally, I don't care, it's his business, but the Minister won't listen" said Proudfoot, shrugging.

"I don't think it's any of the Ministers business what Dumbledore does in his free time" I said.

"Sounds so wrong..." muttered Savage.

"Only to you" I muttered back, taking a swig of my drink.

"So Remus, what do you do?" asked Proudfoot, vaguely. Remus paused for a minute, and I jumped in to save him.

"He's Dumbledores right hand man" I said.

"Cool" said Savage. The conversation died right there. It suddenly became very awkward, and I looked to Savage for help. He nodded and turned to Proudfoot. "Let's go get a drink and leave these two too it" said Savage.

"But I already have a drink" said Proudfoot, evidently confused.

"Oh, well..." Savage took Proudfoot's drink from him and dropped it on the floor. It smashed and the contents ran all over the floor. "Now you don't, you have to get a new one".

"Savage" Proudfoot growled. Savage sighed, Proudfoot really was being thick. He grabbed Proudfoot by the wrist and dragged him round the table.

"Come on" he said.

"Make me" replied Proudfoot. I took the oppurtunity to lean into Remus. To my surprise, he brought his arm up around my shoulders and held me closer. I watched Savage and Proudfoot glare at eachother, and the Savage lent in and whispered something in his ear. Proudfoot turned to me and then back to Savage, raising an eyebrow. Then he grabbed Savage's wrist and pulled him away. Savage winked at me as he left and I saluted him.

Me and Remus sat there for a moment, before bursting out laughing. Tears rolled down my eyes from laughing so hard. Remus looked at my still chuckling, but trying to calm himself.

"You have some strange friends" he said.

"Thank you" I choked out.

"Are they, ummm... together?" he asked, I sat bolt upright.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused by what he ment. He just raised his eyebrows at me. It took me a minute to catch on. "What, them two? Together? No, no no no! There just friends, there always messing about".

"Oh, ok then" he said, like he didn't believe me.

"Don't use that tone".

"What tone?".

"That one right there" I said.

"I'm not using a tone".

"Yeah you are".

"What tone?" he asked.

"The one you use when you think your right, and i'm wrong" I said, matter-of-factly

"Dora, trust me, i'm not".

"Meh".

"Dora".

"Remus".

"Nymphadora Tonks..."

"Remus Lupin". We both sat staring at eachother, ignoring everyone around us. He smiled first and I followed, giggling a bit. "I've missed this" I whispered. His face fell slightly, and he made to move but I took his face in my hands. "I've missed you".

"Dora, I can't do this" he whispered, trying to pull away, but I found myself digging my nails in. He looked at me sharply, surprised.

"Don't you dare, Remus. You are not leaving me tonight" I nearly growled. I ran my hand over his cheek and felt him shiver under my hand. "Are you cold?" I said, the mood suddenly changed.

"Only you Dora, would mistake that for being cold" he muttered. "You still have no idea do you?" he asked.

"Any idea about what?" I asked.

"Nothing. Doesn't matter" he muttered. "Okay, I won't leave tonight...".

"But you will leave, won't you. Just not tonight" I said, looking straight into his eyes.

"I have to" he responded. I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent and downed my drink. "Do you want to go for a walk?" he asked, "It's really noisy in here".

"In this weather? Remus, we'll freeze" I said.

"I'll keep you warm" he said, smirking. My mouth dropped open. He chuckled at my reaction, then stood up and held out his hand. "Come on, it'll be fun".

"Sure it will" I said, sarcastically. Remus pouted. I must say, pouty Remus is really hot. Oh my god, I did not just think that! Well, I did, but still...

"Ok, i'll bite" I said, he grinned and I couldn't help but smile back. I got out of my seat and took his hand. He then proceeded to lead me out of the pub, and into the cold dark streets of Hogsmead. We walked hand in hand, I let him lead the way, but it got colder as time went on and I started to shiver. Remus pulled me closer to his side, and I basked in his body heat. He led me of the road and up the snowy tracks. I somehow knew where we were going before I did. Does that make sense? It was like in the back of my mind I knew where we were heading, but at that moment in time I wasn't foused on it. It's hard to explain, but i'd been this way before, it was the path I always took when I went to Hogsmead, if ever I fancied paying a visit to the shrieking shack. I stopped still as I saw the opening in the fence, and saw the shrieking shack in the distance.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to" I looked at him. I remembered Sirius telling me about how Remus used to transform in the shack. That memory, was only last year, felt so far away. "It's not a trap Dora, i'm not going to do anything. I just wanted to pay the old girl a visit".

"You call it a girl?" I asked, questioningly. "Do you also have a girly name for it?".

"No, but Sirius did" he grinned. "Now, come on" he said, and he pulled me through the gap. We began walking towards the shack.

"So what was Sirius's name for it?" I asked, curiously.

"Ok, bare in mind we were 16, drunk and Sirius was completely mental".

"Check, check and check" I said, smiling.

"He called it Bella". I froze on the spot. "Do you want to know why?". I nodded, and we carried on walking. "I ripped that house to shreds, and he said that he likes to think of someone ripping Bellatrix to shreds. Him and his cousin were at school together, just for a little while. And they were known rivals throughout the school".

"I bet" I said. "What I don't..." I stopped, and shut my mouth.

"What?". I shook my head. "Come on, Dora. You don't... what?".

"I don't get how you can say her name. How you can talk about it all so calmly" I explained. "Whenever I think of her it makes me feel ill, and whenever I think of him..."

"Want to know a secret?" he whispered. "Every time I think of her, anger bubbles inside me. I want to rip her to shreds, just like Sirius always wanted, but I won't. I'm better than her".

"That you are Remus" I agreed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. He smiled at me and stopped, we'd reached the shack. He dropped my hand and tugged at some loose boards on the side, creating a gap big enough for us to squeeze through. Once we were inside, I found we were inside a large room, with chairs and an old fireplace. Of course, the whole place had been ripped apart, but it had that mysterious old house feel to it. Remus conjured up two pillows, and put them on the floor, before walking to the fireplace and sticking his hand up the chimney. I sank into the big red cushion and watched as he searched for something. He pulled out what seemed to be a scrap of paper, and then brought it over to me.

He sat down and handed it to me. It wasn't a scrap of paper after all, it was a photograph. As he conjured blue flames and placed them in a jar that had come from nowhere, I gazed at the picture intently. In it stood all three mauranders. James was dead center, his glasses were slightly lopsided and his hair was ruffled but he was wearing a cocky grin that indicated that he liked the way he looked. Left of him was Sirius, with long black hair and a young handsome face. His eyes had a glow to them that Azkaban had taken from them. Standing right of James was a younger looking Remus. His hair was floppy and he had one or two scars, but nothing more. His young face was yet to suffer the damage of the wolf.

"Peter was taking the picture" Remus said, leaning over to look at the picture. "We left it here, because James said that in the future, the mauranders would be famous and that someone would find it. The picture is faded but it was a good day".

"Tell me about it" I whispered.

"Nothing much to tell. We'd just finished our NEWTs and the realisation suddenly dawned on us that we were leaving Hogwarts. So we took this picture. Thank god Peter took it, I wouldn't want him in it, although at the time I had protested that he should have been".

"The infamous mauranders, and I quote from McGonagall in my fifth year. According to most, you pulled the best pranks, especially on special occassions" I said. "Sirius once told me that you were the mastermind behind them" I said, handing back the photo and putting my hands out twards the flames, I was freezing.

"Well, yeah, I guess I was. They came up with the idea, and I figured out a way to make it work. Books" he said, modestly.

"Tell me about one of them. One of your famous pranks" I said.

"Has anyone ever told you about, Operation: Battle Robot" he asked. I shook my head. "Well..."

_**Operation: Battle Robot. 6th Year**_

_"Sirius, this is a brilliant idea" said James._

_"Fantastic" quipped Peter._

_"Were doomed" said Remus, grumpily._

_"Oh, don't be such a kill joy, Moony" said Sirius, smacking Remus upside the head. "Anyway, it's your brilliant brain that made it work"._

_"It's not finished yet, it's piecing itself together as we speak" said Remus, proudly. "But we're still doomed._

_"We are if we're out here when it shows up, quick, into the great hall" said James, ushering them down the corridor._

_"Great, i'm starved" muttered Peter._

_"Yeah, you look like your wasting away" replied Sirius, sarcastically._

_"Proudfoot" Remus hissed, but Sirius knew he wasn't in trouble. He was only ever in trouble with Remus if he was called by his full name._

_"Oh for Merlin's sake, move!" cried James, hearing a distinct clink somewhere far behind them. _

_They ran towards the hall and only slowed when they reached the doors. The walked in casually so they didn't cause suspicion, and sat down at there usual places at the Griffindor table. Peter tucked in as soon as he sat down, Sirius followed close behind, while Remus took out a book and hid behind. James however gazed up the table with a frown on his face. Remus, lowered his book a little and glanced meaningfully at Sirius and then to James. Sirius picked up a roll and chucked it at him. With the air and graze of a quidditch player, James caught the roll in one hand without looking around. He then chucked it back, and hit Sirius right in the middle of the forehead. Peter sniggered and Remus sighed._

_"Prongs, she's not there" Remus whispered, before hiding behind his book again._

_  
"I know, that's why i'm worried" he said, checking his watch. "Three minutes until Opeeration: Battle Robot, what if she gets trampled?"._

_"She won't" said Sirius, dimissively just as a loud crashing sound came from outside the hall. Everyone in the hall stopped eating and chatting, and turned towards the door. Some in excitement, some in fear, some in just plain curiousity. The doors crashed open suddenly and nearly every girl in the hall shrieked, and some of the boys too._

_There in the door ways stood a giant robot, made up of connected suits of armour, the same suits of armour that stood in the corridors of the school. The robot swayed from side to side, causing panic among the students nearest it. Suits of armour were not ment to be joined as they were and the structure was crumbling. No matter how good the spell, it just wasn't going to last. All four mauranders were trying not to laugh at the mayhem they'd caused. Suddenly, the robot swayed to much and the whole thing crashed to the floor. Everyone stood in shock for a second, and then people started to laugh, in relief mainly, but still, they were laughing._

_"Sirius Black!" shrieked McGonagall from the staff table._

_"Why does she always think it was me?" asked Sirius, to no-one in particular._

_"Because it usually is" replied Remus. McGonagall came storming down the aisle towards them and Sirius turned to face her, with a cocky grin on his face._

_"Hello professor" he said, cheerily._

_"Black! 20 points from Griffindor for making this, this..."_

_"Battle Robot?"._

_"Black!"._

_"It wasn't just me..." he said, turning to his friends, only to find they'd disappeared. Bloody cowards, he'd get them later._

_"And detention every saturday for the rest of the year!" she shrieked before moving away to clean up the mess. Sirius groaned and then crouched down to look under the table, and saw his three best friends crouched there, smiling happily at him/_

_"I'm going to kill you three" he snarled. And just like that, they jumped out from under the table and sprinted away as fast as they could, with Sirius hot on there heels. "Get back here you cowards!"..._

_**End of Operation: Battle Robot**_

"O-M-G, you little rebels" I sniggered.

"Oh yes" he said, grinning wolfishly. My stomach flipped. "And Sirius never caught us". I laughed, Sirius would have been quite annoyed by that, Remus joined in laughing and soon we were rolling around laughing so much, we forgot what we were laughing about. I slipped as I laughed and fell, yeah you guessed it, right on top of Remus. I looked down at Remus, we were both breathing hard, mere centimeters away from eachother faces. Our noses were almost touching, and I could feel Remus's breath on my lips. It would be so easy to lean down and close the gap, but did I dare? _Come on Tonks, kiss him! _screamed a voice in my head, but I didn't move. I wanted to, so much, but I didn't.

Then to my surprise, he kissed me. I quickly got over my initial shock and responded with enthusiasm. He pressed his tongue against my lips and I opened my mouth to let Remus in. We both moaned as our tongues mashed against each other. Remus rolled us over so he was on top and my back was against the cold floor, but it didn't matter, his body heat compensated for it. I bit down on Remus's lower lip, and he groaned. Remus began to kiss hungrily along my jaw and neck. He nipped gently behind my ear and I moaned. Remus stopped quickly, and pulled up so he could face me. We both lay panting for a minute.

"Did I hurt you?" asked Remus, quietly.

"No" I replied, honestly, putting my hand up to stroke one side of his face. He rolled off me and layed down at my side. Now we were both covered in dust.

"Why did I do that?" he breathed out.

"Because it felt right" I answered, shrugging, which was hard to do while laying down.

"It did" he whispered. "But I shouldn't have done it".

"Probably not" I agreed. He seemed shocked as he got up on one elbow and looked down at me.

"Why?".

"Because were now covered in dust and this skirt is a bitch to clean" I said. He threw his head back and laughed. "What's the time?" I asked. He pulled out an old fashioned watch from his pocket.

"Fifthteen minutes to Midnight" he said, before putting it away.

"Do you want to get a drink before midnight?" I asked, quickly.

"Sure" he whispered. I stood up and offered him my hand. He looked a little confused but he took it anyway. I guess he had expected me to rant at him, but ranting never helped and I wanted to enjoy the rest of my night with him. Getting into an argument would spoil things.

We made our way out of the house and back to Hogsmead village quickly, as the wind and snow had picked up. It was harsh and cold, and within a few minutes of being outside we ran full tilt towards The Three Broomsticks, desperate for warmth. Once we got inside, we shut the door behind us, cutting off the harsh wind. Remus pulled me through the crowd towards the bar, and grabbed us some drinks as the clock struck twelve.

"Happy New Year, Remus" I said.

"Happy New Year, Tonks" he replied. We both looked at eachother, and then to our drinks and back then to eachother again. We both downed our firewhisky in one go, before leaning in and kissing roughly. When we broke apart we stared at eachother, for a moment it seemed like he was going to speak, but then someone coughed behind us. We turned to see Savage and Proudfoot standing there, completely wasted and giggling like teenage girls.

"Where've you two been?" Savage managed to slur out.

"Around. What about you two, your wasted?".

"Gotta get wasted on New Years, bring the New Year in with a hangover". I laughed at Proudfoot's statement.

"Ok, so we all get wasted? That's the plan" I asked.

"Yeah" said Proudfoot.

"Uh huh" said Savage. I turned to Remus.

"Why not?" he shrugged.

"I think we're a bad influence on you Mr. Lupin" I smirked.

"Oh yes" he said, before turning back to the bar, and downing another glass of firewhisky. Savage, Proudfoot and I followed suit. The rest of the night became a blur after that...

**Next chapter shall carry on from here, possibly. Please review. Kind ones appreciated, helpful ones welcome, constructive comments and ideas... oh yes please! Pissy, angsty, bitchy, hateful, spiteful comments... what do you think? *angry face***


	38. The Morning After The Night Before

**Warning: This authors note may contain swearing due to the authors pissed off mood. Hello my loyal, faithful, funny, crazy and generous readers. I basically have fuck all else to do after finally finishing all the coursework that my evil teacher set me (a.k.a. dragon lady) so have finally got round to writing this next chapter. It continues from the last one, sort of like aftermath. And just so you know, I blame my teachers for slow updates because if they didn't set so much bloody work, I would have time to write. *rant over*.**

**Right this chapter is probs a bit boring, but pretty essential. Here's the general plotline i've made up for HBP. this chapter essential, bit boring. Next chapter will have some revelations about the ministry. Couple of chapters after that will be exploring the Savage, Proudfoot, Tonks plot and be quite mellow. Might have her parents pop up somewhere. Then we have some dark stuff and then the battle. Sound ok?**

**I do not own anything, but boy I wish I did. Then there'd be no need for coursework.**

**The morning after the night before**

"Ack, my head". **Bang. Crash.** "Ouch, that was my foot". **Smash.**

"Oi".

"Sorry". **Thump.** "Ouch, door frame. Light switch, light switch... found it".** Flick.**

The lights came on in the room, and I groaned in pain. The light was too bright, so I screwed up my eyes and lay my head back against the cold surface I was leaning on.

"Mark, do you have to make that noise" hissed a voice from, oh, over there somewhere.

"Sorry" hissed Savage back. I felt myself being shaken. "Come on Tonks, up you get" I opened my eyes and saw Savage smiling down at me. I was on the floor. The kitchen floor. How the hell did I end up here? Savage put his hands under my arms and hoisted my up. "There up you get, that's it. Good girl".

"Am I a puppy now?" I asked half sarcastically, half curiously.

"No, but Dawlish will be back any minute, and it's your shift" he said. I groaned and shut my eyes, leaning against him.

"I'm too hungover, you do it" I replied.

"I can't, here sit down". I was placed on a chair at the kitchen table, and a glass was slapped down in front of me. "Here, drink this".

"Mark, what are you doing?" came Proudfoot from the door way. I looked round at him, he looked as rough as I felt. Savage ignored him, and I took a sip, before promptly spitting it out again in disgust.

"That's vile".

"Mark, what's going on?".

"Just drink it, Tonks" snapped Savage. "Please, just drink it, it'll help". He then walked over to Proudfoot and pulled him into the hall. I could hear them whispering but couldn't work out what they were saying. But I did as Savage wanted, I drank. I mean, I could trust him right? As soon as the liquid worked it's way down my throat, my head started to clear.

"Tonks" said Savage, striding back into the room. "Good, you drank it, it'll help with the hangover, i've already had some. Sorry about the noise earlier, my only excuse is that it was dark" he said.

"That's fine...".

"Look Tonks, you trust me right?" cut in Savage quickly.

"Yes, of course. Why?" I asked, looking around at Proudfoot, who was standing in the door looking grave.

"Well, then go to your room, wrap up warm and i'll make you some coffee. Then you can go on duty" he explained. "Go". I heard the urgency in his voice and jumped up immediately, speed walking out of the kitchen and into my room. I've never got undressed and dressed again so fast. I should try for the world record.

When I returned to the kitchen, Proudfoot and Savage were standing on opposite sides of the kitchen, staring at eachother, as if silently communicating. I waited for a minute, silently thanking the genius who invented the pepper up potion, perfect for hangovers. I'm so glad i'm not a muggle, those poor things must go through hell. I coughed when I got bored of waiting. Both of them jumped and looked at me, what scared me most was how serious they looked. All playfulness that had been there last night had vanished. Savage walked over to me, picking up two things from the counter as he passed it. A letter and plastic cup full of steaming hot coffee. He handed them to me and then stood in front of me, waiting. I took that as my oppurtunity to ask questions.

"Savage, I don't understand. With a sober brain, i'm piecing things together. I never do morning duty. And you caused all that racket, but you were sober and you must have been for awhile" I took a breath "so what's going on?".

"I was coming to wake you up, and it really was dark and I couldn't see a thing. My wand is somewhere around, but I lost it after last night. I've been sober for awhile, waiting. And your taking the morning shift because you have to get out of here" he said, I was about to open my mouth to argue but he silenced me. "Just trust me Tonks, go on duty, read the letter, drink your coffee. There's nothing to worry about, now go" he said, shoving me towards the door. I trusted him, and so I moved to the door. Just as I was about to walk out he whispered. "And be careful of the woods".

And then I ran. I don't know why, but I did. I ran through Hogsmead and up to Hogwarts as fast as I could, spilling my coffee slightly and slipping on the icy ground. As soon as I got to the gates, I stood against it, gasping for air, my throat felt as rough as nails, as if i'd been gargling nails.

_What had been going on, back at the flat? What was the exchange between Savage and proudfot about? Why was Savage so keen to get me out of the flat and back into work, especially after last night? Last night, what had exactly happened last night... I remembered quite a bit of it, up to a point. I remember going to the pub, drinking, walking, the shreiking shack, daft tails and rolling around on the floor with Remus. Remus... what had happened to him?_

I glanced down at the letter in my hands. Maybe that held the answers. I took a hearty swig of coffee, before ripping open the letter and pulling out the parchment inside. It read;

_Dear Nymphadora, _

_I apologise for the fact that when you wake up I will not be there. I don't know how much you remember of last night, but maybe that's a good thing. I, of course, remember it all. No smirking Dora, i'm not being arrogant just truthful... in a pompous kind of way._

_Ok, I suppose I should tell you about the events which took place after midnight. I always love telling people how they acted the night before, especially if they've been drinking and will probably not remember what they did. I hope you remember what happened before midnight, but thats beside the point at the moment. There was a fair amount of drinking involved, but for me this is not much of a problem because I need a lot of alcohol for me to be truely drunk. As for you, Savage and Proudfoot, you're a bunch of lightweights! I know your probably protesting to yourself right about now that your not, but i'm afraid you are, trust me. _

_We got back to the pub and starting downing drinks like there was no tomorrow, and when I say 'we' I mean 'you'. You and Jacob Proudfoot got into a drinking contest which landed you both well and truelly under the table, while Mark Savage tried his best to sober up so he'd be able to look after you both. He had still had a fair bit though. You have a lovely singing voice by the way, no joke. A Weird Sisters track came on so you stood up and sang to it. This was around one am, if I remember correctly._

_Ok, i'm about to tell you a secret, you should not reveal it to Savage or Proudfoot, because it will only embarass them. Jacob Proudfoot was that drunk last night, that he kept trying to 'make a move' on Mark Savage. I'd love to say 'I told you so' but I have no justification for it, because even I did not believe what i'd said earlier that evening. I was only teasing. So don't tell them Dora, I mean it, i'm trusting you._

_Anyway, the reason for this letter is about a bit more than informing you of what you did last night. It is also a warning. I was speaking to Savage this morning, don't ask him details or anything because he's trying his best to protect you at the moment, for me. You see, last night (or this morning, depnding on how you look at it) a man named Dawlish came in and saw me, with you. Now according to Ministry files, i've been spotted with Greyback's Pack (as you know, i've been there for some time) and he tried to arrest me. I don't know whether you remember but you used some very colourful language towards him and he went away. But that's not the end of it Dora. He __WILL__ tell the Ministry that you are involved with me, and you could be arrested yourself. That's why Savage has (hopefully) got you out of you flat before ministry officials show up._

_See how much trouble I cause, now Tonks? See what i've done? Because of me, your career is on the line. Savage has promised me he will do his best, but this is all my fault. I was so stupid, thinking I could have a normal night with you. I let myself into your life again and look what happened? You see why I distance myself from you, see why we can't be together?_

_So, goodbye. I'm not sure when i'll see you next, or whether I will see you again. Just do one thing for me Dora, be safe. No risk taking. Please Dora, for me. I have to leave now, Greyback will get suspicious and I don't want him following my trail here._

_(I'll probably regret this) Love Remus x_

The words on the page whirled around in my head, getting blurred and mixed, and jumbled up. I found myself wishing that I could go back to last night and change things. I could remember all of what happened before midnight, in the Shack, but after midnight I only remember sitting at a table drinking, and then everything goes fuzzy from there.

I suddenly jump as a cracking sound comes from the forest, as if someone just stood on a stick. I thought back to the letter, and immediately tensed, wondering whether I was being silly or whether to run for it.

I tried to calm my rapidly beating heart, but once another cracking sound was heard, I bolted. As I ran I felt sick. A mixture of alcohol, fear and guilt. _I'm an Auror, for Merlin's sake, why the hell am I running away? _But I had to get back to the flat, I was scared of what was out there, but it was probably my overactive imagination plays games with me. And also, I needed answers, I couldn't let Savage deal with my mess. I had to face up to what was being thrown at me, by myself. That was the right thing to do. And so I ran, I ran so fast. By the time I got to the flat's staircase I was wheezing, exhausted.

I climbed the steps slowly, catching my breath. I briefly wondered where the letter and my coffee were, but I quickly dimissed the thought with the fact that I must have dropped them. I opened the flat down to shouting in the hallway. It stopped abruptly as I walked in. Savage, Proudfoot and Dawlish were standing with two Ministry officials I had never spoken to before. Savage and proudfoot looked fuming, mingled with worry. Dawlish looked smug and the other two looked strictly professional.

The woman with long red hair and a pretty pale face stepped forward. She was tall, slim and smiled sincerely at me, while the bloke behind her looked on with a sour face, mixed with disgust. She pushed her glasses further up her nose and walked over. I stood apprehensively, trying to catch Savage's eye, but he was looking at Proudfoot.

"Sorry" the woman whispered, so quietly I only just heard her. "Miss Tonks, i'm afraid I have to take you into custody" she said, her voice louder now.

"On what charges" I demanded.

"Fraternizing with a known werewolf, by the name of Remus Lupin" sneered the man behind her.

"And who are you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, trying to conceal my panic.

"Mr Ebbs. And this here is Miss Campbell" he said, pushing past Miss Campbell and grabbing my wrists, so they were binded together. "You'll be coming with us".

"I hardly think those are neccessary" said Miss Campbell, pointing to the cuffs.

"Oh, but I think so" he said. I suddenly felt great sympathy for the woman, no-one should have to be spoken to the way he was speaking to her. there must be some reason behind it, and I was determined to figure out why. But for now I had bigger problems. I regretted coming back. "Do you want to lead the way?" he sneered. I turned on my heel and walked out of the flat, with him following behind, a forceful hand on my shoulder.

I always did the arresting, but I had never been arrested. I suddenly realised what it must feel like to be in there shoes. I felt like a criminal.

**Okay, short filler in kinda chappie, yeah? Sorry about that. oh and for the next few months, i'm focusing on exams so really sorry but there won't be any updates for awhile. Have no fear, I have no abandoned the story, and never will. I will stick it out til the bitter end, as long as you want me too. It's just... exams have to come first. You understand that, right? gurugirl x**


	39. What do you want?

**Ok, so first my laptop goes 'BOOM!'. Then, on my new laptop, my lil brother installs AbiWord which is not compatible with fanfiction (lil bro's think they know everything)! So i'm annoyed, and stressed. Exams and revision is stressing me out so i'm taking a break. Here is the next chapter, it's called 'what do you want?'.**

**Thank you so so soooo much to all my reviewers, I really do love you and do appreciate your reviews, even though i don't tell you as often as I should. As you know I have exams so chapters are infrequent, but I wanted to write this to keep you going, and me, and so that you don't all abandon or hate me.**

**LOTS OF SPELLING ERRORS! Please don't point them out, i'm already aware of them. Also i'm experimenting in this, and i do have a bit form someone else's POV. Let me know if ya like, because then i'll use it for my idea for the next chapter!**

Unknown to most, in the bowels of the Ministry, amongst the damp and the dark was a secret holding place. It was recognised only by the few who had been placed there. I was now one of them.

As you entered through a large metal door, you stood in a small corridor, with three holding cells on each side. Each cell had a glass arch, with a glass door in the middle which had several holes in it. I felt like a caged animal being stuffed into a box with just a few pierced holes in the top for air. The cell was grim, and damp, and there was an ominous dripping sound coming from the back left corner. There was a block of concrete on the right side of the cell, which I sat on.

I was being kept here until they wanted to interrogate me. I knew there tactucs. This room could drive people crazy if they stayed here long enough. Even I was starting to think that the room was smaller than when I was first put in here. But I could handle this, I could handle myself. I couldn't believe how this had all come about and found myself despising the Ministry and everything they stood for. But look on the brightside, at least I wasn't in Azkaban. Even without the dementors it still freaked me out, I had never been there and untended it to stay that way. Still, I hoped i'd be questioned soon, this place was giving me the creeps...

"Why was Mr. Lupin there?".

"He wasn't" I lied.

"Don't lie, we have a witness" Mr. Ebbs growled.

"Yeah, cause nothing Dawlish says is ever wrong. Why am I the only one being questioned, I wonder".

"We have others in custody" he barked.

"Do you". I raised an eyebrow, his eyes shifted. "Thought not".

"Why were you with a-a -".

"Werewolf? Go on, say it. If you have the balls" I smirked.

"We just want to know why you were with him" said Miss Campbell. I stared at her from across the desk, while her partner continued to pace up and down the room behind her.

"Ok, one: he wasn't there. Two: why am I the only one being questioned and, Three: what do you have against this guy anyway?".

"He was there, you were the only one reported with him and he's a werewolf from Greyback's pack. Heard of him?" growled Mr. Ebbs. I really wanted a picture of him, i'm sure my aim at darts would improve considerably if I pinned it up on the board.

"Ofcourse I have, everyone has. Wanted posters everywhere. Remus Lupin is a good bloke, but he was NOT with me on New years" ofcourse, I was lying through my teeth, but I had to protect him. I could truely defend him because it would compromise him and land us both in it. He needed to keep his cover, and I needed to keep my butt out of Azkaban. So I lied.

"Your a liar, you rotten little -" Mr. Ebbs started.

"Oi! You watch who your talking to. I am an auror, and you will show me some respect!" i said, proudly.

"Look, we understand-" started Miss Campbell.

"No you don't, so don't even try. You forget, i've been on your side of the table. I know everything that your going to throw at me, and it ain't gonna work because i'm not guilty of nothing. So either charge me, or release me" I said. "And might I point you to Dawlish's file? Not the most reliable of sources I think you'll find".

**  
Jacob Proudfoot's POV

As the door shut on Tonks and the other Aurors, Mark whipped around and glared at Dawlish.

"I'm going to kill you, you worthless little slimeball" he practically screamed, taking a step forward. Dawlish hastily retreated as Mark jumped forward and bopped him on the nose. My mouth drooped in surprise as Mark pinned Dawlish against his door by the scruff of his neck. Dawlish spluttered to breathe, but I stayed rooted to the spot.

"Why did you do that to Tonks? What's she ever done to you?" Mark snarled. Suddenly I snapped out of it, seeing Dawlish's face turn blue I raced forward and seized marks hand, forcing it away from Dawlish's throat.

"Savage let go, your going to strangle him" well, you already are, but still... "Mark!" I said, pushing him away from Dawlish. He slammed into the bathroom door, but he glared at me and then Dawlish, and like a red rag to a bull he got up and went for him again. I jumped in front of him and grabbed his arms, holding them to his sides and pinning him back against the wall. I looked back at Dawlish who was nursing a bloody lip. He returned to his room quickly, and I turned back to Mark who was glaring murderously at me.

"Why did you stop me?" he whispered. I looked away from him. Why had I stopped him? He did deserve a godd smack for turning in a fellow Auror, after all. But if Dawlish had snitched once, he could do it again. And Mark would have been in trouble too. I couldn't let that happen. He was a mate, right?

"Jacob, answer me" said Mark, forcefully, bringing me back to reality.

"You looked as if you were going to kill him. I had to stop you" I answered, looking at the spot above his left shoulder.

"He deserved it" Mark muttered.

"Be that as it may, it wouldn't have been worth it if you'd gotten into trouble for it" I said, reasonably.

"Didn't think you cared".

"Ofcourse I care... about Tonks. She's a good auror and a nice girl" I stuttered. His face fell. "And she's our friend..."

"What about me, Jacob?" he asked quietly.

I looked at him squarely in the eye. "What about you, what?".

"You know what" he muttered. I was suddenly aware of how closely he was invading my personally space. Of how closely I was invading his. I was aware of how this would look to someone from the outside looking in. Of how it felt, to be this close to someone. I was terrified. Of course I knew what, but that didn't mean I wanted to know it... And as if i'd been shocked, I stepped away from him.

"Someone needs to go on duty, i'll go now. We don't need any more trouble" and then I walked away. Turned my back on him before he could even say a word.

Sometimes I wished for the times before this. For the times when I knew who I was. I wished I could say what I mean, and mean what I say. But I can't. Before this I was normal. Before him, I was regular old Proudfoot, shut down to everyone else around me. Before him... And I found myself cursing him for it.

Tonks POV

As soon as I opened the flat door, Savage came running down the hall and scooped me into a bear hug. I squeaked in shock, and instinctively tried to morph away my embarassed blush. Of course, I failed.

"They let you out" he stated, but I knew he was also inquiring as to how I was out.

"No evidence, or lack of anyway. Plus, I can be smart when I want to be" I smirked, running a hand through my greasy hair and grimacing. Over Savages shoulder I saw Dawlish hovering in his doorway, looking at me. Something on his face caught my eye, something that hadn't been there before.

"Oh god dawlish, did you get beat up?" I asked, in mock concern. He scowled. "Who did it?".

"Why?".

"I'd like to send them flowers" I growled. He glared, and slunk back into his hole.

"It was me, although i'm not a big fan of flowers" said Savage, simply. Then his face grew dark.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Proudfoot. He dragged me away from Dawlish. He..." his voice became shaky.

"Hey. I have the night off and Dawlish and Proudfoot can do shifts. I'm going to go back to my neglected flat, i'm going to have a shower and then you are going to come round" I said. "Were going to eat junk and whine about our pitiful love lives, yeah?".

"Ok Tonks" he said, someone resigned. "What's bothering you?" he asked. "I can see it in your eyes" he muttered, tilting his head to one side.

"While I was in there, I was feeling like a criminal, and if the Ministry are capable of doing that to there own... I know i'm prejudiced against for being a metamorphmagus, and I know that i'm not perfect, but I felt... I don't know. It's hard to explain" I sighed, then lowered my voice so certain ears couldn't hear. "I wish I could see Remus, so he wouldn't feel guilty. So I can tell him...".

"You know what? I think we'll add 'consume vast quantities of alcohol' to our list of things to do tonight" Savage smirked. I nodded but said nothing more.

A few hours later, after a quick clean of my flat and a long hot shower, I was dressed in my sweats and weird sisters tee and ordering chinese from the local muggle takeaway. I loved muggle food, and it was delivered to your door, which was useful. Now I just had to find where I put the last of my muggle money. I found it wedged under a bottle of firewhisky in the top cupboard of my kitchen. As well as taking the money out I took out the firewhisky aswell and put it on the coffee table. For all the bottles of alcohol I find around my flat, most would think me an alcoholic. It felt so good being back in my flat, but as I looked at the empty owl perch in the hallway, I felt overwhelming guilt that i'd neglected my owl and sent it to live at Hogwarts. The next time I went up to the castle, I was getting my owl back.

Just then there was a knock on the door and I scrambled to get it. When I opened it I saw Savage standing talking to the chinese bloke. I raised my eyebrow in confusion, I seemed to be doing that alot lately. The chinese bloke turned to me and handed me my food, telling me the price while he did so. I handed him the muggle money as Savage stepped through the door. The man handed me back a load of coins that I would never use. I smiled politely as Savage wished him a good evening and shut the door.

"Nice bloke" he remarked, shrugging. I shrugged back and walked over to the sofa, placing the food on the table, and guesturing Savage to sit.

Savage came and sat down. "You don't smile much do you?" Savage asked, suddenly.

"Well, I don't have much to smile about these days" I said.

"Me neither. I mean, I can smirk and pretend but so can anyone" said Savage.

"Where is this conversation going?" I asked.

"Why don't we eat and talk, eh?". And so we did, we began eating our food in silence, until Savage broke it.

"So, hows life?" he asked.

"Crap" I answered.

"Care to elaborate".

"Sometimes I feel as though, a year ago I had it all. The order, great friends, my family, Remus. And now I have none of the above. I feel bitter, and that makes me feel selfish, which makes me feel guilty because there are so many people out there worse off than me".

"Pain is relevant. We cannot presume that our pain is any less painful than the pain of others, because we haven't experienced it. We can't say that our pain is greater, because we don't know" Savage said, wisely.

"All suffering is the same, because we all feel it in different ways, for different things that may be important to us, but insignificant to others" I nodded. "But you know what? I'm fed up of talking about me, and thinking about me. In my head it's always me, me, me. I never think of anyone else".

"Ah, but what do you want Tonks? Because sometimes, you have to be selfish. If your not, and your always trying to help everybody, you'll often find that someone is always left disappointed" he said. I was starting to question his age.

"Your like my age, right? How come you speak as if your hundreds of years old" I asked.

"We are shaped by our experiences" he offered, as the only form of explanation. "So, what do you want?".

"What do you want?" I retorted.

"I asked you first" he said.

"If I answer your question, will you answer mine?".

"Yes".

"Ok" I said. "I suppose the first thing I want is Remus... to accept who he is and not be afraid to let me in because of it. I want him to see himself the way I see him, ya know? The second thing i'd like would be for my mum to accept him, and respect that i'm an adult and that I make my own decisions". He looked at me curiously at this. "Don't ask, it's a long story. And last, I really want pink hair. Really, i'm serious. Brown is so dull, it's driving me mad!". He laughed, I stuck a chicken ball in my mouth to shut myself up.

"Ok, your turn. What do you want?".

"Honestly?" said Savage. "I want... Jacob". I spat out what was left of my chicken ball, coughing and spluttering. He handed me the bottle of firewhisky, and I took a swig.

"That only made it worse" I said, handing it back. He took a swig, his face contorted with hurt and rage. He stood up and started to pace.

"I knew it'd be like this. It always is, with everyone. First it was my brothers, hating me for being 'special'. And then my parents disowning me when they realised I was... gay. I mean, what's wrong with me. It's not like we were religious or something. What's wrong with me? I long since excepted it, why can't everyone else?" he turned to looked at me. "He's a bastard" he spat out. "He knows what he is, he knows how he feel but he keeps it all locked up. And i'm supposed to be his friend still after everything...".

"After everything..." I asked, trying to get him to continue. He just looked at me. "Look Savage, i'm not your family, and i'm not Jacob. I'm your friend, and I support you no matter what ok? We are friends, right?" he nodded. "Good. Well, has anything happened other than drunken snogging, the other day. Oh my, it was only the other day, but seems lifetimes ago".

"Doesn't it just" Savage said. "And how did you remember that?".

"I didn't. Remus told me. We were having this argument see, he thought you and Jacob were very cosy together and I didn't. I'm stupid, I know, but I was so wrapped up in myself that I forgot about everyone else".

Savage looked thoughtful for a second. "You'll keep my secrets" I nodded. "And forgive me for that little outburst?".

"Of course" I said. He smiled and walked over the the livingroom window. He opened it wide and stuck his head out. I let him have his time to think, burying myself in noodles. I liked having Savage around, he was good to talk too. Nothing could make me hate him, nothing. At the moment, I felt like I wanted to punch Proudfoot, or use a good old bat bogey hex on him.

"Tonks" he said, turning from the window. "I think you have a visitor".

"Who?" I asked.

"Come see" he smiled, guesturing with his head towards the window. I jumped up and moved towards the window, shovelling noodles into my mouth as I went. Savage moved over so I could see out. I looked down and saw a man standing on the pathment below, illuminated by the street lamp he was leaning against.

"Remus?" I whispered to Savage, who nodded. I raised my hand to him, and he mirrored me, before disappearing.

**Back to revision for me, why don't you go have yourself a cookie? Cookied are ggguuurrrddd! And I should know, i'm gurugirl. LoL. REVIEW XX**


	40. Too Much Thinking

Too Much Thinking

**This chapter is rated M! Nothing explicit but some themes and language may offend some people. This is a multi POV chapter, but this will probably be the last for awhile cause it's such a pain to write multi POV. Alright so i've decided that were gonna do quite big time leaps so we can get onto the good stuff quicker. Sound good? Again, so sorry this is really late, my exams and revision have been piling on but as of next thursday I am free! So my writing ****WILL**** get quicker and I ****WILL**** update faster! And to all my reviewers, thank you so much, and please EVERYBODY! I would love to know how you feel about this story, and I promise to start replying to you ok. Any suggestions, questions and critisms (though they scare me) are welcomed. **

_Tonks POV_

God I missed them. I missed Remus so much, and my friends, and the old Order. I miss Molly's amazing cooking, the twins trouble making, I even missed Mad-eye's shouts of _'constant vigilance' _at inappropriate moments. I missed feeling part of something big and special. I missed Matt and Layla. I missed Matt's humour and Layla's support. My two best friends were gone now, though they had sent letters and I had written back, it wasn't the same. I missed laughing with them. I missed laughing with Remus and Sirius, feeling happy and wearing my hair in ever colour I could think of. Brown hair was wrong for a metamorphmagus. I sighed heavily. I missed Sirius. I felt sad and I missed my cousin, now more than ever. Yet it was my fault that he was gone, I had brought it on myself. Still, I wished desperately that he was here. He would tell me what to do, he would know what to say. And he might just give Remus a good smack. I laughed out loud at this, startling some poor woman tottering down the street.

Just as the woman made a hasty retreat, looking at me as if I was some loony, I looked into the window of the shop behind her and frown. Pink hearts and red roses, and all sorts of mushy romantic stuff. Yep, it was that time again. Valentines day. I'd been trying not to think about it, merely concentrating on the shinning midday sun and the grass beneath my feet. It was quite warm for this time of year. But now the scowl that I had become familiar with was back on my face. I really didn't enjoy Valentines day.

Valentines day was a day of romance for every couple, and a day of pure torture for those who, like me, were single. I had thrown myself deeper into my work, hoping that by doing so, all these insignificant days would pass without notice, but here I was, trudging the lane from Hogsmead to the castle, thinking way too hard about things as usual.

Not that Valentines was particulary important, there were other things happening in my life that were way more pressing. More people were disappearing by the day, though not many (even in the Ministry) knew about this. I only knew because of Jacob, who was of a higher rank than me. I now found it easier to call both Savage and Proudfoot by there first names now. Speaking of Jacob, he'd been really down lately. And so was Mark. They've been ignoring eachother for about a month now, though Jacob had kept trying to speak to Mark. But no matter how he tried, Mark just would not talk to him. To be honest, if you looked at Jacob now you'd say he looked as depressed as me. I felt for him, truely I did, and I have to admit Mark is being a little childish but I think there must be a bigger reason behind it than just New year's. Something's definetly happened that's made Mark really mad. Well, both of them mad really. Wonder what it is? Well, I'm keeping well out of it. They can fight there own battles, and it is Valentines day, perhaps things will be sorted out soon.

I sighed and thought back to a couple of weeks ago, trying to keep my mind off the day, but the memories seemed just as painful. Still I couldn't stop my thoughts from drifting.

_2 weeks ago._

_"No-one would know how upset you were, if not for the colour of your hair, and still only those who know you would be able to guess. Your mask is perfect Tonks"._

_"I know. Sometimes I feel ok, like, I can face the day and pretend like everything's normal. But then some days I feel so overwhelmed. I miss him so much, possibly too much. Why did I have to go and fall in love, Mark? I thought love was meant to be a good thing, so why does it hurt so much?"._

_"I sometimes ask myself the same thing. But Tonks, your love is not unrequited, just a little out of reach for the time being" replied Mark. We were sitting at the kitchen table, it was early morning and sunlight was only just peeping through the window._

_"What if it's always out of reach?" I asked, more to myself than him._

_"I don't think that will happen. Have faith Tonks, keep fighting"._

_"I am fighting. I just think that it's in vain now" I muttered. Suddenly, I felt myself being hit on the head with something hard. Mark was holding a book up and glaring at me with playful menace. _

_"Do I have to hit you again?" he asked. "It's not in vain. And I like this book, so for goodness sake, agree with me"._

_"Ok, it's not in vain. I love him. Sometimes I wish I didn't"._

_"Ditto" he replied._

_"You know, you tell me to keep fighting, what about you, huh?"._

_"What about me what?"._

_"Your being mean to Jacob, you know you are. Ignoring him, and you probably made him feel so bad that that's the reason why he camped on the hall floor the other night". Mark gulped. "Knew it"._

_"It's different"._

_"How"._

_"It's just... there's things you don't know" he breathed. "Ok, so awhile back..." Just then Jacob walked in, looking exhausted. I tried to smile sympathetically at him, but I didn't quite pull it off, and he didn't notice. He only had eyes for Mark, though his next words were addressed to me._

_"Tonks, Dawlish is on duty now, and he wants you to take the afternoon shift, that alright?"._

_"Sure" I replied, trying not to grimace at the use of Dawlish's name._

_"How are you two this morning?" asked Jacob._

_"Fine thanks" I replied. "You?"._

_"Fine. Mark?" he said. Mark stared blankly at the wall behind opposite him, over Jacob's shoulder. "Mark? Don't ignore me?"._

_"I'm not" said Mark, quietly. "I just have nothing to say to you". And with that he got up and practically ran from the kitchen. I looked at Jacob and saw a flash of pain pass over it. He rubbed his hand over his unshaven face, and sighed._

_"Jacob..."._

_"It's ok Tonks, I only have myself to blame for this" he whispered, then left the kitchen and went the opposite way to Mark. I heard the front door slam._

_And I thought my love life was complicated._

I sighed outloud to myself, reliving the memory was tough. I still felt the pain but I suppressed it and as Mark had said, I perfected my mask. I bet that if Mark and Jacob had never been asked to do this duty, they would have never got to know eachother the way they do, and if they hadn't known eachother like they do now, neither of them would be hurt and miserable. Just like me. If I hadn't known the people I did and worked at the Ministry, I would have never known about the Order. I would never have joined and would never have known Remus, and so I probably wouldn't be feeling the pain and love that I felt right now. Curse the Ministry, it's really the Ministries fault that my life and the lives of my collegues are fucked.

Valentines day sucks. Love sucks. Oh Merlin, how did it come to this? Will I ever know the answer?

_Mark POV_

Am I being petty about this? Should I talk to him? God this is a mess, and really, I brought it on myself. Not that i'll ever admit that to anybody, it's bad enough just admitting it to myself. I look at Tonks and I feel so sad, and angry and scared. Sad because it's horrible to see her so down and angry because both have us have been hurt and I don't think we deserve it. I know she certainly doesn't. And scared because, well, I don't want to end up like her. I know that sounds bad, but I don't want to be depressed and miserable. She says she's fine, but I can see it in her eyes. She doesn't know we know, but I hear her crying herself to sleep at night. It's not fair, that poor girl.

But still, she's stronger than I am. So tough. There's something about her that keeps you calm, that makes you step back and follow her. I guess she doesn't see herself that way, but I see her that way. I'm glad to have a friend like her, i've never really had that many friends before. People always said that I was weird and loopy, which isn't true. Well, maybe it is a bit.

I pulled the covers right over me, blocking out the sunshine that was glaring through the window. No duty today. I can just stay in bed all day and be lazy. What day is it today anyway? I peeped my head out of the covers and looked up at the calender. Valentines day! Oh Joy! Yep, it's decided, i'm staying in the flat all day. Don't want to go home, I can still see my house on fire and that terrible word spelt in blood. Tonks was there, and so was Jacob.

Jacob. God that man! Why the hell did he have to come into my life and screw it up! I suppose it's not really his fault, i've always been this way, but just lately it's like i'm repeatedly being smacked in the face. Everytime I see him it's like that. At the moment I don't know whether I want to snog him or punch his face in.

He's in the flat today, i'm sure of it. And it's Valentines day. Perhaps I best get out of here. We wouldn't want a repeat of what happened last time.

_1 month ago._

_"Jacob, can I have a word?" I asked, sitting down at the table opposite Jacob. We were the the only two in the flat. Tonks was on duty, and Dawlish had gone off in a sulk. Tonks had brought her owl to the flat, and it had flew like a bullet at him, pecking him all over his face._

_"Sure. What's up?" he asked, putting the paper down that he'd been reading. _

_"Well, I was just wondering... you know New Year's?"._

_His face paled. "Yeah"._

_"Well, how much of that night do you remember?" I asked._

_"Not much really, I think I had a few too many" he answered, looking down._

_"So you don't remember..."._

_"Remember what?" he asked, shrugging._

_"Merlin Jacob, you know what i'm on about!" I half shouted, standing up and slamming my fist against the table. He jumped and stood up aswell._

_"Yes, I know what your on about, but it was a mistake. A BIG mistake and if I could go back and change it I would" he snarled, viciously. I felt like i'd been punched several times in the stomach, as I looked him straight in the eye. And then anger coursed through me, and before I knew it i'd reached out and punched him. He fell back into the kitchen counter, and groaned in pain. I moved up to him and grabbed his t-shirt and twisted the material in my fists, pinning him._

_"Bastard" I breathed, angrily._

_"I'm a bastard?" he whispered. "You like bastards then, do you Mark?" he snarled._

_"Fuck you" I said, swinging to punch him but my aim was a little off this time. It clipped the side of his cheek. The look in his eyes, as he turned his head to look at me after the punch, were murderous. Suddenly positions were changed and he had me pinned. Now I really was scared. But we both just stood there looking at eachother, breathing hard, until he let me go and started to walk away._

_"Coward" I spat. I don't know why I said it, but I did. And I couldn't take it back. He span round quickly and grabbed my hair, crushing my lips to his. I moaned as he pulled away, pushing me away._

_"Maybe I am a coward, but I can't do this. And I won't" he spat. "Piss off back to La La Land". And with that he left, slamming the kitchen door behind him._

No, i'm not leaving. I have as much right to be here as he does. I am staying under these covers all day and I ain't leaving for no-one. Why did this happen? Valentines day... Love. Oh what a load of bollocks.

I groaned and sunk lower under the covers, trying to drown out the sunlight - and my thoughts.

_Jacob Proudfoot's POV_

I gripped the kitchen side with my hands, my head bent over a now cold mug of tea. My hair was still damp from my shower earlier, and dripped down my neck and onto the floor. I turned my head to the side and eyed the packed bags lying in the doorway. I had packed them in the middle of the night while no-one was awake. I had wrote a note concerning guard duty on the kitchen table. I would still do it, but I was going to my home in Norfolk. It would get me away from here, give me time to think. I might even go visit Lucy and her children, I haven't seen them since last summer.

I shook my head and sighed. I knew I really shouldn't just slip away like this, with just a note but how on earth would I explain this to the others? It was impossible. No, slipping away silently was the best option. I thought of the man hiding in the room down the hall. I knew he was awake but he had not spoken to me since the night I first slept on the landing.

_2 weeks ago_

_"I'm sorry alright"._

_"Save for someone who cares" snarled Mark, looking over the top of his book. He sat cross legged on his bed, glaring at me._

_"Why won't you just accept my apology?"._

_"Because your not sorry, you meant everything you said. Why don't you just go? You obviously don't want to be here" he said._

_"How could you possibly know that?" I asked._

_"Your fighting the instinct to bolt, you always do it. Shuffle from foot to foot, glancing at the door every five seconds. Just leave, I don't want you here"._

_"You don't mean that" I said, but he looked back at his book and pretended to ignore me. "Mark I am sorry"._

_"Sorry doesn't make everything right" he muttered._

_"I know what you want me to do, but I can't. I'm not that person" I said. "I can't be what you want me to be" I whispered._

_"What you won't let yourself be"._

_"I can't Mark, ok? You don't understand. I just can't" I croaked. He put his book down and looked up at me. I walked over to him and sat down in front of him._

_"I'm sorry for what I said. And i'm sorry that I can't be what you want"._

_"But you can be. You are" he said, putting his hand on my cheek. I pulled away slowly._

_"I can't" I repeated. "Can't we be friends? I love having you as my friend, please can we still be friends?"._

_"No"._

_"Why not?"._

_"Because my feelings for you are deeper than friendship, alright!" he snapped, I jumped back, startled by his out burst. "Just get out Proudfoot" I recoiled at the use of last name. "Or I will"._

_"You know what? Fine, I will. I'm tired of being here with you, i'll sleep on the landing. Anything's better than being with a pathetic little child like you!" I roared in frustration. "You think everything's so simple, but guess what, it isn't. I know it, Tonks knows it, heck, even Dawlish knows it. I can't be what you want me to be, but I was willing to be friends so if that ain't enough for you- go to hell!"._

_"Why don't you!" he said. "Your a coward and your always going to be a coward. I never want to speak to you again. Just get out"._

It was my own fault really. He isn't to blame. But he just doesn't understand, and he never will. I need some time, I need a break from this... drama! Ugh, everything's doing my head in. I need to get out. And I need to get out NOW!

_Dawlish POV__ (who knew he'd wanna contribute?)_

So, Proudfoot's gone. Good on him. Get out of the nut house while you can is what I say.

Oh dear, Nymphadora's in one of her moods again. Can't that girl ever give it a rest? She's knocked over two chairs already and bumped into every doorframe in this entire building. I must say i'm impressed that she managed that. She'd been glaring at Savage for the best part of an hour now, but he doesn't seem to have noticed. Oh wait, yep, she just picked up a book and threw it at him. Smacked him straight in the face. There must be some good reason behind it but I don't care. It's fun to watch the mudblood recoil and look at a girl with pure terror in his eyes. _'Sort it out' _she hisses at him before storming from the flat. Wonder what she ment by that? Savage slinks off to his room again, he spends to much time in there. Honestly, it's like being back at Hogwarts, all three of them are acting like bloody children.

Ugh. Coffee's off. Merlin i'm getting out of here, what time is it? Ah, 9:00pm on February 14th. One of the worst days of the year. Things you want to happen don't, and things you don't want to happen do. More hearts are broken than before, and depression numbers shoot up like one of those muggle things... rockets, I think. Ahh, i'm getting sentimental! These people and this place is getting to me. Gotta get more coffee, gotta stop thinking!

**Ok, so there was alot of Mark/Jacob stuff in there, but really I just wanted to have a little play with the characters. Rest assured the next chapter will be pure Tonks. Not sure how I feel about this chapter, it may be a bit confusing, but if anyone wants any background info or a timeline or something, just let me know and i'll get one too ya. please review, with all the stress i'm under, you have no idea how amazing it is to read reviews! So please. I offer my world famous cyber cookies to you. gurugirl x**


	41. Visiting

**A/N: Someone wrote to me, I dunno who it was cuz they didn't leave a name but, they helped me to realise something. This is my story, and your my readers. So i've taken everything into account, and I love your ideas but their your ideas. So go do something with them! I'm going to write the rest of this story how I think it should be written, you have helped me realise that I do need another order meeting though (i'd forgot about Dumbledores last words to Kingsley and Remus, thanks for the reminder - you know who you are). So I appreciate everything you've done for me, and to you who made me realise that this story is special to me because it's mine. So everyone have fun wirting, use those cool ideas for yourselves, give yourself a chance. And if you do write something, I would very much like to read it and become your reviewer. I love you all, enjoy this next chapter...**

**Disclaimer: This isn't mine, yada yada yada... Well, some of it's mine!**

Visiting

_Dear Tonks, yeah I totally get it. My mum is like that too. Always telling me what to do, and what not to do, you'd think I was three! But don't worry about it, mum's are like that, and I guess it's there way of trying to cling onto us. They don't want to let us go, or grow up but she will have to let go sometime and realise that your the only one who now makes decisions about your life. And if your mum is decent, which she should be considering she broke out of her pureblood family and married a muggleborn, then she'll come around. Have you spoken to her since christmas, Tonks? I really think you should. Life's too short, even more so now, you need all the family you can get. Speak to her Tonks, work things out. Don't leave it. It'll just be another thing to add to your ever growing list of misery. I'm sorry to say it hun, but it's the truth._

_Oh, and have you seen him lately? If you haven't see if theres anyway you can. If that fails, keep your ears open and your eyes sharp at all times. Your fearless Tonks, you need to keep your eye on everything and be strong. One day all of this pain your feeling will go away, I promise._

_The job is going well thanks and Matt says hi, he works to hard, you know. But it's pretty cool over here, you should see it Tonks. You need to come for a visit sometime! Anyway, speak to your mum, and keep strong. Oh, and ears open for Remus :D_

_Write soon, _

_Layla xx_

Layla's letter, which had come in disguise of a Muggle bill, was the reason that I was now looking up at my mum and dad's house, my hand raised to the door, as if to knock. But I hadn't done it yet. _Stop stalling Tonks, just do it. Do it now. _My knuckles rapped three times against the wooden door. _Bad hand. Traitorous knuckles. _Then the door flew open and I was crushed into a familiar and warm embrace. Mum was hugging me tightly, almost too tightly.

"Mum, can't breathe" I squeaked. She let go quickly.

"Sorry, sorry" she said hastily, before bursting into tears. "I'm so sorry" she said, before pulling me back into the hug. This time I accepted it, though I was shocked.

"Mum, can we go inside?" I asked, croakily. I was sure my ribs were braking.

"Sure sure, come in" she said, ushering me into the house. I went into the livingroom and sat down.

"Where's dad?" I asked.

"At that shop of his, of course. He spends more time there than anywhere else. It's my fault I guess. I've been really awful to everyone lately. I guess that Black blood is finally shinning through, huh?". I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet. She came and sat on the sofa next to me. "Can you let me try and explain myself Dora?".

I nodded. "Sure".

"I'm so sorry for what I said about Remus. I don't know why I said it. Well I know why I said it, but I shouldn't have. And i'm sorry for trying to control your life, I have no right to interfere. I guess I was just feeling so alone, I mean, I love your father more than anything in the world, but your my daughter. My baby girl. You'll always be my baby, and it's so hard for me to let go. And I saw how upset you were, and because Remus was technically the cause..."

"You flipped out?" I suggested.

"Yes. And it was uncalled for and totally wrong. I once said to you that if you found someone special, you have to hold onto to them. I'm a hypocrite, and i'm sorry" she said, her lip trembling.

"I know how hard it must have been for you to say all that" I said. "And I forgive you. But your not the only one who acted badly. So I apologise for the stuff I said to you, and I accept your apology" she nodded. "But you need to let me live my life".

"And I will" she whispered. "I acted badly towards you, I know. Your father and I had an argument after I came to see you. He says that I went about it all wrong. And I did. Merlin, I behave like my sister's sometimes. I claim to be different, but..."

"Stop mum. You are different. Your nothing like them, and i'm sorry you feel that way" I said, before hugging her. We hugged and cried for awhile, before she pulled back and put a hand on my cheek.

"My beautiful girl, all grown up" I gave a weak smile. "If you want to be with him, then, even though i'm still a little uncomfortable with it, you have my blessing. Though you'd probably have done it anyway, with or without it, so I feel it's better that I stick by you".

"Well, I don't know about beautiful" I said, tugging at my hair. "And thanks mum, but I don't think there's any need. What's the point? Remus doesn't want me".

"Poppycock" she said. "If you want something, then you gotta fight for it, right?".

"Wow mum, never thought i'd hear you say that".

"Don't be cheeky" she said, slapping my knee. "But i've learnt a few things since Christmas, and I realised that, with what's happening in the world now...".

"I get it mum" I said. "Your trying, and I love you for that. I'll try too, I promise".

"I love you too, sweetheart" she said. "Now, about Remus".

"It's ok mum, I know your uncomfortable with it. But there's no need. Were not together, and we never will be".

"I don't believe that" she said. "Your a Tonks, a Black, and your a fighter. In the end Dora, you always get what you want. It's been that way ever since you were two months old".

"Really?".

"Really!" She smiled, and I looked around, thinking of my childhood, then something caught my eye on the mantle piece, above the fire. I stood up and walked over to the to the fireplace, and reached my hand out, stroking the velvet petals of the black rose that sat there. I picked it up and turned around.

"What's this?" I asked, she stood up and came to take the rose away from me.

"It's a rose, from my sister. A way of showing me just how much she hates me" I raised my eyebrow, before guesturing for her to continue. "Bella believed that being pureblood was like being a a blossoming rose. Pure and beautiful and majestic. By giving me a black rose she's saying that I need deadheading, which is basically what happens when roses on a bush die" I gasped, horrified, but she seemed untroubled. "A muggle definition is that Deadheading may be performed, if spent flowers are unsightly, for aesthetic purposes. Also, so the plants energy, in her case 'blood', can be focused on worthier causes. Not bloodtraitors".

"You know all that?".

"I have a lot of free time on my hands Dora, I like to learn new things. But i'm not worried. Bella was always my favourite sister whilst I was growing up, you know? I don't know whether it was azkaban or Voldemort or both, but I swear she was never that evil when she was a child. I don't know, maybe I looked past it cause I wanted to believe the best in her. It wasn't till I started dating your father that I realised how cruel my family could be".

"Do you hate her?" I asked.

"No, I hate what she became".

"I've been sent black roses too" I whispered.

"Well, that doesn't surprise me. To her we're bloodtraitors and freaks, but you know what? It doesn't matter, because she's not going to win this" she said, putting her hand in her pocket. "Just look after yourself". She pulled out my silver charm bracelet. "It was a bit broken after you chucked it, but I fixed it alright. Hold out your wrist".

I held out my wrist and she did up the clasp. I looked down at it, feeling guilty but happy. "Thanks mum".

"Keep fighting, Dorie. Were going to make it through all this".

* * *

When I got back to my flat that evening, I felt light a weight had been lifted. My heart felt lighter and I could smile with only minimal pain. I drew back all the curtains in my flat and let the light of dusk in, before picking up my wand, determined to clean this place up. It was so dusty. As I was working, I turned on the music full blast and a Weird Sisters Song came on, _'Blood, sweat and tears'_, which was pretty old but I danced around to it anyway. Somehow I felt normal, until I felt a presence behind me. I'd been so absorbed in the song I hadn't heard the door open. My heart beat raced. This can't be good, but my brain rationalised, _if it was a deatheater, i'd be dead by now._

I turned around and jumped a foot in the air, screaming as I did. "Mad-eye you miserable old bugger, what the hell did you do that for?" I practically shouted.

"Constant Vigilance Nymphadora!" he barked, and I rolled my eyes. "And I saw that".

"You were supposed too" I muttered. "So what's up Mad-eye?".

"You've got an Order meeting in 5 minutes, so look sharpish. Get your shoes, were leaving".

"An Order meeting, but there hasn't been one in months" I protested.

"Yes there has, you just haven't come" he said. "Now hurry up". I grabbed my shoes while my brain whizzed. How come i'd not been told about the meetings, that's not fair. I'm part of the Order, I shouldn't be left out. As soon as my shoes were on, he grabbed me by the elbow and practically dragged me out of my flat, before spinning me round and disapparating.

I stood in the street, looking up at number 12 Grimmauld Place, memories of this place swam through my mind. I didn't like being here, it hurt too much.

"Admiring the view?" asked Mad-eye.

"Just thinking" I muttered.

"Well don't, it's not good for you" he answered, before leading me towards the house and up the stairs. "Doesn't do well to dwell on what's past, Nymphadora. Focus on now, if nothing else". As we went up the hall, I carefully dodged the troll umbrella stand, and Mad-eye looked at me curiously, as if wondering why I hadn't tripped.

As we walked into the kitchen, everyone looked at us, then back at Dumbledore, who smiled at me before continuing what he was saying.

So much information was reported, and so many of the Order took turns in reporting what they had heard, or experienced. I found it all hard to digest, and in my head began listing what they were saying, picking out the important bits.

This is what I picked up on. The Ministry has made several more arrests on suspected 'deatheaters', who are less likely to be deatheaters than Savage's fluffy cat. Also, important Ministry members families are being targeted and several people have disappeared, such as the Head of Magical Transportation (why?) and several random employees from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. My department. But when the names were told, I didn't recognise a single one. It suddenly dawned on me on how secluded i'd been in Hogsmead, to not know what had been going on.

Also, Kingsley had informed us that several Muggle MP's (don't know who they are, but oh well) had been put under the Imperius curse, and had tried to kill the muggle Prime Minister. Luckily, Kingsley's a brilliant Auror who takes his job very seriously, and has managed to either remove the curse or removed them. I was kind of relieved that the deatheaters were trying to get at the Muggle PM, because it ment that he had something (power) they wanted or he was a threat to them. Any muggle being a threat to them was a very powerful muggle indeed, and as leader of muggles I guess he's as important as our Minister.

While musing this, I realise that everyone looking at me, and that i've probably just been asked a question.

"S-Sorry?" I asked, embarassed.

"I was explaining that due to the hard work your putting in with guard duty, I felt you needed a break and that's the reason I have not informed you of the last, very few, meetings. I was also commenting on what a fine job you and your fellow Aurors were doing, guarding Hogwarts. Although, you Auror's can be a bit nosy" said Dumbledore, smiling brightly with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Is he still following you?" I blurt out, then blush. Dumbledore laughed.

"I'm afraid so, although he didn't take to kindly to my jinx. Still, it was in no way enjoyable to have to do it. But as you know Miss Tonks, desperate times call for desperate measures" he said, and I snigger quietly, thinking about the last jinx Dumbledore had put upon Dawlish for attempting to tail him. He was still spitting feathers over it... literally!

"Aurors are troublesome, believing they have a right to do whatever they want without regard for the consequences" I here a voice sneer. I whip my head around, and glare at one Severus Snape, the greasy haired ponce of Slytherin. Merlin, I dispised that man. Sure he got me through NEWTS, but only just.

"And what would you know about it?" I snap back.

"Don't take offense Nymphadora, I was only stating a fact" I sneered once more. I felt my blood pressure rise, and my cheeks flame red.

"One, don't call me that! And two, it is NOT a fact, it's an OPINION" I said, putting extra emphasis in my words so that he got the message.

"Tell me what what Aurors do then, that benefit society, other than causing more trouble than neccessary and getting overly emotional" I said, looking at me in disgust. I felt as if he could look right through me, as everyone in the room held there breath and even Dumbledore stayed quiet, curiosity silencing him. I take a breath to keep calm, so I don't look 'overly emotional' when I state the true facts. I felt "they help people" would sound a bit lame, so I improvised.

"Aurors are charged with the job of keeping the Wizarding Community safe from harm, to the best of our abilities. We put our own lives at risk, to try and help others. We persue and capture dark wizards" I say, eyeing him in disgust "and we do too much paperwork". Everyone at the table chuckled at my last statement, and I felt incredibly smug.

"Complaining are we Nymphadora?" sneered Snape. He'd never grasped the concept of a joke in his life.

"Don't call me that, Snivellus" I snapped. He shot into standing position at the mention of his cruel nickname. I felt suddenly ashamed as I realised how much of my cool i'd just lost.

"Ok, that will do" said Dumbledore, patiently. Both me and Snape shut up immediately. "Thank you Miss Tonks for your contribution, and thank you all for coming, I know it can't have been easy. I wish you a safe return journey, and if there is nothing else anyone wishes to say, then I conclude this meeting over".

Everyone started to move quietly, muttering to eachother as they exited the kitchen. Mad-eye went and stood by Dumbledore, and they began to converse with eachother in hushed tones. Kingsley walked by me on the way out and tipped me a wink before whispering "Well done Tonks". I waited until everyone had filed out before I approached Moody and Dumbledore.

I took a deep breath, and both men turned to me. "I'm sorry for my behaviour back there Professor, I don't know what came over me. I promise it won't happen again" I said, sincerely sorry.

"No worries Nymphadora, in these dark times, it gets to us all" he reassured me.

"And good argument, by the way" said Moody, gruffily. "It's nice to hear there is still a sense of honour and duty in being an auror". He leaned in, and whispered "i'm very proud of you". I felt myself blush, and muttered thanks. Coming from Mad-eye, this was high praise.

"Ummm, Professor Dumbledore?" I asked quietly.

"Please, I am no longer your Professor. Call me Albus or just Dumbledore".

"Ok, Albus" I said, nervously. It was weird calling an old Professor by their real names, it felt weird on your tongue. "Have you heard anything from Remus? I mean, is he ok?" I mumbled, stuttering foolishly. But he smiled and I saw the twinkle in his eyes that told me that he knew exactly why I wanted to know.

"Not since January Nymphadora, but not to worry, i'm sure that he will be ok. Remus is an extremely capable and brave man. He will keep himself safe and away from harm. Now, shouldn't you be getting home and getting some well deserved sleep?" he asked.

"Oh yes, I suppose so. See ya at the next meeting Mad-eye, see you around Dumbledore" I said, before hastily exiting the kitchen, feeling like a fool and my heart even more uneasy than it had been.

_

* * *

_

I was walking down a dark road. There were very few lamps guiding the way into the darkness ahead. Everywhere I looked was darkness. My life was black. I was in the dark. The stars above didn't shine brightly anymore, and the cresent moon had faded to grey. The branches of the over hanging trees cast shadows in the lamp light, and even when they were bathed in darkness they were recognizable and sinister.

_I stopped in the middle of the road, my black cloak stopped swishing behind me and fell limply down my back. Out of nowhere came a mirror, and I saw myself. I was sickly white, and my hair was black. As I looked closer, I saw my eyes change colour, and I began to age. I stood still, scared to move an inch, fearing what the mirror would show. When my image stopped changing, I screamed, and then sobbed. Staring back at me was the face of my aunt Bellatrix, but as I looked behind me, no-one was there. The image was me. I was her. I sobbed harder, falling to my knees infront of the mirror, and hiding my face in my hands._

_"Your not her, Dora" said a voice, and then came a shattering noise. I looked up and saw the mirror had smashed into a million pieces, making the road infront of me look like it was paved with diamonds. I followed the trail with my eyes expecting to see the road fade into darkness once more, with nothing in sight. But I didn't. Because someone was standing there. Tall and handsome with wavy brown hair streaked with the occassional grey. He walked towards me then kneeled in front of me, taking my chin in his hand and lifting it up. My eyes connected with his beautiful brown ones, and he smiled softly._

_"You are not her, Dora. And you never will be" he whispered._

_"It's so dark" I mumbled. "So am I". He said nothing, but he put his hands in mine and pulled me to a standing position. He then walked around me and walked off behind me. For a moment I thought he had left me, but soon strong arms snaked around my waist and I instinctively leaned into his warmth. But he wasn't warm, he was cold._

_"Your cold" I whispered._

_"So are you" he replied._

_"It's so dark" I whispered._

_"It's a dream, Dora. Just a dream. And it's your dream, it doesn't have to stay dark" he breathed in my ear, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Change it, make it light"._

_"How" I whispered._

_"Dora, you are the most beautiful, clever and amazing girl I have ever known. There is no-one like you. You created this, so you can change it, I swear" he moved slightly so he could look at my face. I turned my head towards him. "I have faith in you"._

_"What do I do?"._

_"What do you think you have to do?" he asked, and then as if the words had unlocked my mind, I instantly knew exactly what to do. I closed my eyes and thought of bright sunny days, I thought of my childhood where war was not the only topic of discussion, I thought of bed time stories, and quidditch matches, and auror training. I thought of the Order, and Sirius, and Remus. Remus..._

_"Open your eyes" he whispered in my ear. As I opened them I gasped. The road was no longer dark, the trees were no longer sinister and the dark sky seemed to have lifted. Instead, the trees were in full bloom, the sun was shinning brightly and the road looked more inviting than it had done before._

_"Wow" I whispered, as he stepped infront of me._

_"I told you, you could do it". He smiled at me, before leaning forward and kissing my forehead. Then he made to turn around. The moment I saw the movement, I grabbed his hand, pulling him back._

_"Don't go". I knew it was a dream, this wasn't really Remus, just my imagination. But still, I did not want him to walk away from me. It was hard enough when he did it too me in reality, but not in my dreams too, that's not fair. I felt compelled to tell him this, though he wasn't the real Remus, so there wasn't much point to it. "Please, it's hard enough to let you walk away when i'm awake, but your my dream, your not leaving me now" I said, gripping his hand tighter._

_"Some things are out of your control, even in dreams" he said. "Keep fighting the darkness Dora, don't let it engulf you. Keep fighting..." he said, entwining his fingers with mine, and holding our joined hands up infront of us both._

_"For you"._

_"For you" he replied. "Look at this place you created Dora, and whenever the darkness threatens to swallow you whole, come here. Stay safe for me. I must go". He kissed my finger tips before letting my hand go. And with a small smile, he turned and walked away. I felt like running after him, but something stopped me. I looked around at my world, and then back at the road. He was gone. I felt sad, but then I heard a bird chirp happily in the distance and smiled. I'll see you soon Remus._

I turned over in my bed, and a smile graced my lips while I slept.

_

* * *

_

I shouldn't have done that. That was dangerous, that wasn't ment to work. But it did, so deal with it, you can't change it now.

Remus Lupin's eyes snapped open and he lowered his wand, pointing it at a floorboard that sprung up. He quickly placed his wand inside so that no others would find it, and replaced the floorboard.

He knew he shouldn't have done it, it was dangerous and potentially dark magic, but he had had to see her. Had to hold her, and make her feel happy again. Because that's what you did for the one you were in love with. It was difficult for him to resist, and when it came to Nymphadora, resisting was becoming increasingly difficult.

**Hope you like the dream, it was a last minute thing. Hope this chapter is ok for ya, and I would really like to know what you thought of it. P.s. I had to put in the thing with Remus at the end, so that you could (possibly) work out what he'd done.**

**Just had Prom, whoo! And this chapter came to me while I was dancing with my buds. Funny how ideas come to ya, ain't it? Anyway, please review, and I will try to start the next chapter, although I have a bit of writers block.**

**P.s. I haven't proof read, sorry about mistakes x**


	42. Dead or Alive

**Ok, so I just have to give a shout out to PHYSCHOCHIC3 who loves my story, loves me and apparently always will (lol) and asked me to marry them. So big thank you to you and to all of you who reviewed. I hope you like this chapter, I had a hard time writing it, but I think it's ok. P.S. LONG CHAPTER PEOPLE!  
**

_Savage: It's fine._

_GG: Thanks *beams*._

_Dawlish: Savage is a suck up._

_Savage: Am not._

_Dawlish: Are too._

_Savage: Am not._

_GG: Boys don't start this._

_Tonks: Yeah boys. Savage, i'll set Proudfoot on you!_

_Savage: And thats a punishment, how?_

_GG: Hmmm... go away you lot. *shoos them away*. My faithful readers, please go read now..._

* * *

The days moved swiftly now. As March moved into April the days grew warmer, but I still felt cold. As I glanced in the mirror, I saw myself thin and drawn. Stress combined with depression, combined with how busy I was had stopped me eating regularly. I barely had time to eat, and even when I did, I just didn't feel like it.

I hastily walked to the kitchen, chanting _'I must eat' _in my head, but as soon as I saw the food in the cupboards, my stomach lurched uncomfortably, and I settled for making myself a coffee instead. As the kettle boil I heard a wrapping sound on the kitchen window, and there stood my owl, Quill. He wasn't really an owl I guess, but he looked like one and he ate like one and he even flew like one. I opened the kitchen window and let him hop inside, a Newspaper attached to his leg. _The Daily Prophet, _or as Mark referred to it: _The Daily Doom._ I put it down on the side next to the kettle, before picking up the newly boiled kettle and filling my mug to the top, the coffee's rich aroma wafting around me and filling the kitchen.

I realised that no-one was in the flat but me, Jacob still hadn't come back, and I rarely saw him unless I was on duty with him. Jacob was on duty now I believed, as it was so early in the morning and I only really did late day or night shifts. I had no idea where Mark was, or Dalwish. Sighing, I picked up my mug and paper and went and sat down at the table. The Daily Prophet often reported the facts now Scrimgeour was Minister, but it did miss out bits that were too overwhelming or would scare people to much. Unfortunately, being an Auror and a member of the Order of the Pheonix, I knew pretty much everything. Which I had to admit, was not always a good thing.

I flicked through the paper registering pretty much the same thing on each page: _Death, Destruction, Doom, Death, Destruction, Doom, Death, Destruction, oh, and a sale on wizarding robes! Blah!_ I looked at some of the arrests and cringed in annoyance. There was also a conspiracy theory as to why Zonko's had closed up. No-one really knew why. One morning it was just shut. No bodies, no signs of a struggle, but still people believed there had been a brutal battle for the shop. I don't blame them really. If I wasn't working for the Ministry, I might have believed that too.

I took a swig of my coffee, and closed the Prophet in frustration. Whatever it reported, it wasn't what I wanted to know. I wanted to know about Remus. I was desperate to know he was safe, especially with the increase of murders lately. Last week Mark came in shaking like a leaf, having just gone to a house of muggles in Lancashire. The house had the Dark Mark set over it, and the eldest son of the family, who was nineteen and a wizard, was found dead with his parents and his little sister. His baby brother survived though, he had hidden under the bed. He was in an orphange now, and I knew Mark hadn't wanted to let him go. The eldest boy was a muggleborn, and had apparently spoke openly about Voldemort, which had caused the deatheaters to target him. It came as a shock to us, but the only thing reported in the Prophet was:

'_Muggleborn, nineteen, found dead in Lancashire home along with his parents and his younger sister. His little brother however survives and has been placed in a muggle orphange. This is just one of several attacks that have started to appear more regulary. The Minister today denies that we are losing this war, and has said...' _continues on page 5. I couldn't be bothered to read it, it made me sad, and Mark had told me everything anyway.

I swigged my coffee again and found it cold. Obviously, I had been sitting here lost in my thoughts for a lot longer than I had realised. Just then the door from outside slammed open and Mark rushed in followed by Dawlish. I dropped my coffee in surprise, but paid it no attention as it smashed to the the floor, spilling it's contents everywhere.

"Quick Tonks, come with us" he said, before practically dragging me from my seat and to the door.

"What's going on?" I asked, thanking Merlin that i'd put on my pumps earlier.

"A Muggle Mall has been blown up. Muggle authorities say it was a gas explosion, whatever that means" answered Dawlish. "But it wasn't. The parents of a muggleborn Ministry Official own a shop within the Mall. We think that, along with the excuse to blow up a load of innocent muggles, is why the Mall was attacked" he explained. "Apparently the muggleborn works as an Obliviator, and has spoke out against you-know-who".

"Fear of the name only increases the fear of the thing itself" I said, suddenly, remembering what Dumbledore had once said.

"Well, some of us just aren't that brave" he said, reaching the bottom of the steps just after me and Savage.

"So what are we expected to do?" I asked.

"Clean up job really. Deal with bodies, obliviate or create cover stories for any survivors, though the chances of anyone surviving that..." he trailed off. He didn't need to say it. We were all thinking the same thing.

Mark turned on the spot, dragging me with him, and we landed on a pretty quiet square. As I stood looking around I noticed that there was a small winding road behind me, which came from way behind me to the square, then disappeared behind a big shop. The big shop on the left had the word 'Westgate' on it. The one on the right had 'Argos'. I had no idea what either of these words ment, but both shops had brightly coloured displays that caught my attention. Mark coughed and we walked through the square for a few minutes before Mark stopped in confusion. Just after the big 'Westgate' shop was a road with alot of other shops on it, and straight in front of us was the same. Except up ahead there were lots of orange barriers and yellow tape saying 'Do Not Cross'. I gathered this was the direction we were heading, and sure enough, Mark and Dawlish took off at a brisk walk towards the barriers.

As I got closer I looked at the building in shock. There was about one floor left, half of the second one, and everything was black and burnt. Wires hung from various places and rubble covered the floor. I looked up at it in horror, before turning to Mark.

"How big was this Mall?" I said, looking up at the now mostly destroyed building.

"Two stories, but it was smaller than most Muggle Malls. Contained twenty five shops, ten on the bottom, the rest on top. I've got the floor plans but I don't think we'll need them, this place hardly resembles what they told me it was meant to" he said, before walking forward under the yellow tape and through the plastic curtains. I followed after him. Dawlish had already gone inside.

"Lumos" we said at the same time, and our wands provided extra light. There were muggle lights in there called 'flood lights' I think, but they didn't provide enough light for us to work.

"Where are those Muggle Aurors?" asked Dawlish.

"You mean Policemen? There stepping back to let us do our work. Scrimgeour pulled some strings for us. We have two hours to find any wizards that may have been in the Mall, document them then take them to the Ministry so their bodies can be given to the families. Any muggles we can record and give the to policemen" said Mark.

"How do we know which is which? It's not like wizards and muggles are completely different" I asked, curiously.

"I have names of several wizard and witches 'supposedly' seen in this Mall at the time of the incident, and I have pictures of the family were looking for. We'll use the identity spell to check who each person is".

"I see no-one" sneered Dawlish. Oh, he's back.

"Alright let's split up. I'll go straight ahead, Dawlish do you wanna go up to the part that isn't burnt down, go to the end of the first floor or stay here?" asked Mark.

"I'll go to the end of this floor".

"Ok, Tonks, look around here, i'll go up" and with that, they both walked away, disappearing from sight. I looked around at what was left of the building and shivered. Signs of shops were littered around or hanging limply from crumbling walls, clothes, bottles and items of what could possibly be food, where burnt and scattered around the building. I moved forward quietly, trying to avoid the sharp metal poles and wires, and those scratchy metal nets that poked out of everywhere and seemed to serve no purpose what-so-ever. I suddenly realised how unstable the building looked, and was scared it would fall on me.

After half an hour I had found three muggle bodies, and as I got them out and put them together on a clear bit of flooring, I was suddenly overwhelmed and ran to the other side of the room, promptly throwing up, and closing my eyes, trying to stop the room spinning. This was one of the hardest parts about being an Auror. Dealing with bodies, and the families. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, and silver dots began to appear. My head swam as memories of my friends swam into the front of my head. I sighed a bit before whimpering. I just saw them dead. My friends were laying in the place of the muggles, and I was the only one left. I saw Mark's face burnt and scratched, Matt's covered in blood, Layla's pale face, with dead eyes staring up at me. And then more came, the Order, my collegues, Remus. I bit down on my lip so hard that it started to bleed. I tried to make the image go away, but it wouldn't. I choked out a sob, as the image in my head floated away.

"It's ok" said a strangely strangled voice, as a hand was placed on my shoulder. Dawlish stood there looking at me, his face pale and his eyes reflecting something between sympathy and irritation. I guess that's the best you can get off Dawlish, especially when he thinks your a bloodtraitor, a loony and a freak.

"No it's not" I spat. "These people died. Innocent people. And more are still dying, how is that ok?" I shouted. He didn't answer at first, but took his time to think of a response.

"Well, I know it's not ok, but were doing the best we can. I mean, were protecting those bratty little kids, aren't we? Sure, I don't like them, but I don't want to see them hurt. Heck, I don't really like you, or Savage, or many people really but I do this job for the same reason as you. To help people, to make sure that this mess gets cleaned up and decent people get the respect they deserve. And so murderous scum are caught and taught a lesson. So 'it's ok' may not be much comfort, but it's all anybody's got at the moment" he said. I stood stunned for a second, before tilting my head to one side.

"Alright, who are you and what have you done with Dawlish?" I enquired, raising an eyebrow at him. He laughed at me.

"You threatening me, Tonks? With your wand still in your pocket?".

"No, course not" I said. "Take a joke". He rolled his eyes, and I made to shove him when I heard a shuffling noise from somewhere behind him. He tensed up as I looked over his shoulder, into the rubble of another destroyed store.

"Someone's there" I whispered, and he turned around to face the store, pointing his wand at it.

"Friend or foe?" he asked.

"Friend. It it were a Deatheater we'd be dead right now" I muttered, holding up my wand to shine some light on the store. There was definetly someone there, I could make out the outline of someone crouched between the rubble. Whoever it was was tiny. "Hello" I called, and I heard a whimper in reply. Dawlish nodded to me and we moved forward quickly, but carefully.

As we got closer I saw the crouched figure to be a little girl, no more than seven years old I suspected. I knelt down in front of her and she flinched away from me, shaking like a leaf and whimpering. I moved my hand forward to touch her knee, but she jumped away with a strangled cry and I stopped.

"Hello. I'm Nymphadora. I'm an auror. Could you tell me your name?" I asked.

"J-Jenny" she whispered.

"Ok, Jenny, can you tell me who you were here with?".

"My m-mummy and my l-little brother. Where are they?" she asked, but I didn't answer.

"Are you a witch?" I asked, carefully. She was just a little girl, but I needed to know.

"M-Mummy says i'm not a real w-witch until I go to Hogwarts" she mumbled. That's all I needed to know.

"Can you look up at me please?" I asked, and she did so, still shaking. "Good. I'm going to get you out of here. Do you want me to carry you?". She nodded and lifted her arms up, but then froze, before screaming. I was startled until she pointed to something behind me. I heard Dawlish shout 'impedimenta', and a male voice shouted 'stupefy' back. I whipped around and yelled 'Protego' and the curse rebounded onto one of the back walls.

Then disaster struck, the wall it just hit, collapsed into another, and that one collapsed into another one, making a domino effect. With my eyes wide, I turned around and grabbed the child in my arms. "Run!" I screamed to Dawlish, who wasted no time in turning around and leading the way out. We clambered over rubble as the structure began to cave in on us.

"Where's Mark?" I cried, dodging a panel of the roof that fell several centimetres to the left of me. Jenny screamed again.

"I don't know, keep moving!" he shouted, as the roof infront of us collapsed. We all fell to the floor as the room shook and I heard a distinct clatter from somewhere in front of me, and the child moved from my grasp slightly.

"Come on" shouted Dawlish again, getting up, and changing course, I grabbed Jenny again, who held onto me tightly as we ran through the only part of the store that was still standing. I saw light coming from ahead and ran towards it quickly, something sharp scraped my leg on the way out and made me hiss in pain, but I carried on going. When we got out the last of the structure finally fell and we jumped back falling on our backs on the pavement.

I breathed deeply, noticing for the first time that there were people around us, not many but a few. Dawlish quickly got up and started to reassure them that everything was fine, that we were unhurt and that they should move along. But then I realised he was wrong. We weren't all alright. Where was Mark?

The girl looked up at me, and looked at me as if she had read my mind. I tried to keep calm for her. "How old are you?".

"Six, miss" she whispered. I blinked in surprise. She was very small and light for a six year old.

"Call me Tonks" I whispered back. "Do you have a last name?".

"Rogers".

"Ok" I said. "Thanks". I stood up with her still in my arms and limped to Dawlish, my leg was really hurting. As I reached him, he was still ushering people away.

"We still have an hour before the muggle police arrive" he said, absentmindedly.

"That's all well and good, but where's Mark?" I hissed. He tensed and spun round.

"Isn't he here? I thought he would have come out".

"Well, he hasn't" I said. He looked over my shoulder frowning, then he nodded towards the building.

"That him?".

I turned round quickly and saw him stumbling out, but something was off. His head was bowed and his hand was pressed to his chest. His hair hung around his face, shielding his face from view. I took a step forward, but before my foot could touch the ground, I saw him fall to the floor. I let out a silent scream and ran towards him, as Dawlish did the same. When we reached we found him laying in a pool of his own blood, his chest had been pierced with a large piece of metal.

"Right, I need to get him to Mungos immediately. Tonks, go to the Ministry, tell Scrimgeour what happened, and then go to the magical department of records, and track down her family. The witch down there is called Leena, she'll help you. Then, go tell Proudfoot what's happened and tell him to get his butt to Mungos. I'll send word later as to how he is" he commanded, I nodded and it suddenly struck me as to why Dawlish was high rank. He was quick and effective in these situations. He lifted Mark into his arms. "I'm going to apparate with him. Go straight to the Ministry". He made to pull out his wand, but as he searched his pockets, his eyes grew wide. "Where's my wand?"

"You dropped it" whispered Jenny, holding out his wand to him. When did she grab that, and how come I hadn't seen it?

"Thanks" he muttered, slightly stunned. And with that he turned and disappeared.

* * *

I ran through the Ministry, well, I limped because my leg had still not been healed and Jenny was getting heavier every second but she refused to be put down. As I hopped in the elevator I bobbed up and down on the spot in frustration at how slow it was being. When we finally got to our floor, Jenny jumped down and ran out of the lift. I followed her in surprise.

"I run now" she said, grabbing my hand. I shrugged and ran with her towards the Minister's office, slipping on the polished marble floor, we skidded to a halt at the door. I knocked hastily, and opened the door wide. Scrimgeour was sitting at his desk, his left hand rubbing his forehead and his right hand holding a stack of papers which were causing him to frown. He hadn't even looked up when I opened the door. I coughed loudly to draw his attention. He looked up slowly, and then smiled falsely.

"Miss Tonks, what can I do for you?" he asked.

"Sorry to disturb you sir, but Savage has been taken to St. Mungos, sir" I said, hastily, trying to get my breath back. Remind me never to run again.

"What has happened?" he said, sharply, beckoning me in. I stepped the office further.

"Savage, Dawlish and myself went to investigate a Muggle shopping mall which had been targetted by deatheaters, and whilst we were in there, the place collapsed. Savage was on the top floor of the building and managed to get out, but he's been pierced in the chest with a large piece of metal" I explained.

"Why did the structure collapse? I thought it had been deemed safe to enter?".

"It had sir, but there was someone else there, they cast a spell at Dawlish and I used a shield charm to deflect it. The spell then bounced onto the back wall and the structure began to fall. I'm sorry sir, it's my fault" I said, feeling extremely guilty.

"You did what any good Auror would do. You were protecting yourself and your collegue, and... this child?" he asked, staring behind me, where Jenny was peering out from behind my legs.

"Yes sir. She spotted whoever it was that cast the spell. If it hadn't been for this little one..." I trailed off. "But this is Jenny Rogers sir. She was with her mother and brother in the shopping mall when it was destroyed. I have to go and find out if she has any realitves she can stay with" I said, quietly. The girl clung to my leg.

"Rogers, Rogers" he muttered. "Yes, i've heard that name, hang on" he got up and crossed the room, before opening a cabinet. "Tonks, let Miss Rogers sit outside on one of the chairs". I turned to the girl and guestured her outside, but she wouldn't budge. She shook her head and clung to me tighter. "Miss Tonks" he snapped.

"Sir, she won't leave. She's scared. And she knows everything anyway, the poor girl was there".

"She is merely a child" he whispered, shuffling some papers. "I don't think our discussion is for delicate ears".

"Then can we not have our discussion when she is no longer here?". But he didn't answer, he kept shuffling papers until...

"Aha" he said coming over to her, "there we go. Your daddy works here doesn't he? Down on level 4, department for the regulation and control of magical creatures. Goblin Liason office, I do believe".

She nodded and giggled. "Goblins".

"Miss Tonks, over here" he said, guesturing to the other side of his room. "Jenny, can you stay there for me please?" he said, gently. She nodded and I followed Scrimgeour over to the other side of the room.

"Her father knows nothing of these events, so when you take her to him, you'll have to tell him. I'm sorry. Do you know if her mother and brother are...".

"Dead? I suspect they are. If the initial attack didn't kill them then I reckon that the building collapsing would have done it. Either way, it doesn't look good" I whispered.

"Then I think the best thing is to tell him that your still looking for his family, but tell him not to get his hopes up. You know the drill Tonks, you can handle it. I will go to St. Mungos to speak with Master Dawlish, and to check on Master Savage's progress" he went and stood over by the fire. "You have your instructions Tonks, you are a good auror. You can handle it" he said, refering silently to me having to inform Mr. Rogers of his wife and son. I gulped and nodded, before he disappeared into the flames.

As I waited for the lift with Jenny, my stomach clenched. This one the hardest part of being an Auror, I thought for the second time today. Not the fighting, but telling the families of their loved ones deaths. The lift gave a ding, and the doors opened. And out stepped Arthur Weasley.

"Tonks" he said, "how are you?".

"Not to good at the moment" I said, ushering Jenny into the lift.

"Oh" he said. "Do you want to talk about it?".

"Can I pop by your office a little bit later, I could do with a chat actually" I asked, hopefully.

He smiled. "Ofcourse. See you then Tonks".

I hopped in the elevator and pressed the button for Level 4. As we went down, Jenny slipped her little hand into mine and I squeezed it, trying to be reassuring. I looked down at her to say something, anything, but that's when I saw tears in her eyes. Kneeling down in front of her, I put a hand on her shoulder.

"Do you know what's happened?" I whispered, realising that this poor six year old had seen terrible things, and had been bottling it up inside her while clinging to me. And the reason she'd been clinging to me was because i'd saved her. I guess I was sort of her lifeline, until she got back to her daddy.

She nodded. "Mum and Bradley. They're gone, they're..." and she started to sob. I felt a tear fall from my eye down my cheek, just watching this little girl, and so with strength I didn't know I had I scooped her up into my arms and held her tightly, stroking her hair and wincing ever so often at the pain in my leg. As the lift arrived on level 4 I went straight to the desk.

"Name?" said the lady without looking up.

"Auror Tonks, and I need to see Mr. Rogers now. Where is his office?" I demanded, and she looked up and gasped.

"Is that Jenny?" she asked, but I ignored her. Jenny however looked up at the sound of her name, then put her head back onto my shoulder.

"Where is his office?" I asked, again.

"Straight down the corridor, second from last door on the left" she said, quickly. I scooted past her and walked briskly down the corridor, ignoring several Ministry workers who asked me what I was doing with Mr. Rogers daughter. Obviously, he was very well known in this department.

When I reached his door, I knocked tentively and waited until he asked me to come in, before entering.

"Jenny!" he exclaimed, as the young girl jumped out of my arms and into her fathers.

"Mr. Rogers, i'm afraid I have to inform you of a tragic event. This morning a Muggle shopping mall was attacked by deatheaters. We found your daughter amongst the rubble there while searching for another family. Your wife and son were also there, but the building collapsed and we could not get back in. We are doing everything we can to find your wife and child, but I would advise you not to get your hopes up" I breathed. "I'm so sorry Mr. Rogers. Really I am".

He sank into his chair, holding Jenny while staring at me. I felt awkward and uncomfortable, as I saw tears run down his cheeks. I had to force my tears back in. Man, I hated this.

"Thank you, for bringing Jenny to me" he whispered. "My wife and son...?"

"I'm sorry" I said. "I'll leave you now, but the Minsiter may want to speak with you at some point" I said, before turning.

"Excuse me?" I turned back round. "What's your name?".

"Miss Tonks" I answered, polietly.

"Thank you, again. I don't know what I would have done if..." he looked down at his daughter, who was curled up on his lap. "I still have you Jen" he whispered to her, and I left the office, giving Jenny a tentive wave as I left. She waved clumsily back and snuggled up to her father. I ran to the nearest floo station, tears falling unashamedly from my eyes.

* * *

When I got to St. Mungos, I found Savage's room easily. He was in a private room on the first floor, with his name written on the door. I walked towards it, stretching out my hand to grasp the handle when I heard voices, coming from inside. My curiousity stopped me at the door and prevented me from turning the handle. Instead I found myself leaning closer to the door so that I could hear what was going on inside.

_"Don't you dare do that again" came a voice I recognised as Jacob's._

_"I'm so sorry for nearly dying" wheezed a rather unhealthy voice, which belonged to Mark. "Next time I shall remember to tell you first"._

_"That's not what I meant Mark. You scared the shit out of me" came Jacob's voice._

_"Didn't know you cared"._

_"Ofcourse I care" snapped Jacob, before he whispered "I care very much about you". _I felt myself smile with hope at these words. And I decided to walk in and break up the beautiful moment. **Go me!**

I twisted the door knob and pushed open the door, only to be confronted with the sight of Jacob snogging Mark. I gasped in shock, and clapped my hand over my mouth but the damage was already done. Jacob, who had been sitting on the bed practically on top of Mark, jumped ten feet in the air and backed as far away as he could from the bed, and Mark. His cheeks were bright red.

"Sorry" I said, trying not to giggle at the look of joy on Mark's face, in contrast to the look of horror on Jacob's. "I just wanted to see how you were doing?"

"I'm doing great" wheezed Mark. "What you done to your leg?".

"Just a cut, i'll sort it later. As long as your gonna be alright".

"I'll be fine".

"Good. I'm sorry about the building collapsing" I apologised.

"S'alright Tonks. It wasn't your fault".

"Actually it was" I said. "There was someone else there, they sent a hex at us and I deflected it. It then rebounded on the back wall and that's why the structure collapsed".

"Oh" he replied, looking down. "Well, you didn't mean to do it". We all stood in awkward silence for a minute before the healer bustled in. She was big and bubbly, with a sickly sweet smile and red hair tied in a bun.

"You'll have to leave now, Mr. Savage needs his rest" she trilled, busying herself with fluffing his pillows and straighting out his sheets. Jacob nodded and came over to me, and we went to leave when Mark spoke.

"Jacob, will you visit me?" he asked. Jacob turned around and looked him straight in the eye.

"Yes. Tomorrow morning. I promise". Mark smiled, and we left the room.

"So, you and Mark..." I let the sentence hang.

"Me and Mark" he repeated.

"Are you two, you know... together?" I asked, tentively.

"I don't know. I just don't know" he muttered. "I want to be with him, I think. I mean, I can't bare it when were apart, it drove me crazy when we were apart and that was only for a month or so. I don't know Tonks, i'm not good at this stuff".

"Ok then, i'll guess" I said. "When your apart from him it's unbareable. You think about him all the time, wondering where he is, and what he's doing and whether he's thinking about you aswell. Whenever your with him you get butterflies and feel like your fourteen all over again. He's really fun to be around and whenever your with him, it's like all the bad things in the world no longer exsist. It's just you and him, and living without him is a pain worse than death".

"Wow" he breathed. "Mostly all of that was spot on. But I take it you weren't really talking about me and Mark?" he guessed.

"No, I was, but I was also thinking about myself. It's how I feel, all the time, but I have the pain of not knowing whether he's dead or alive" I mumbled.

"This is that guy I met right? On New years?" he asked. "Remus...".

"Yep" I said.

"Hmmm" he said, looking troubled. I saw a mixture of horror and nervousness flicker in his eyes. He gave me a sidewards glance before looking away.

"What?" I asked. He didn't answer "Come on Jacob, just tell me. I know your fighting yourself to say it".

"I don't think now is the best time" he said, biting his lip.

"Just tell me" I snapped.

"Okay" he said, turning to face me. "I heard a rumour, and it's just a rumour so bare that in mind. Someone said that some werewolves rallied against Greyback, and are now on the missing persons list or the list of the dead" he whispered. "I remembered you telling us that Remus is a w-werewolf and that he's Dumbledore's man, but I hadn't thought about it until you said you didn't know if he was dead or alive".

I froze where I stood, staring blankly ahead, not even seeing Jacob. '_Some werewolves rallied against Greyback' _and _'list of the dead' _floated through my brain, like an annoying fly that would not leave you alone, no matter how many times you swatted it away.

"I'm so sorry Tonks, I shouldn't have said anything" whispered Jacob, bringing me back to the present. He looked nervous and a tad guilty.

"I have to go" I said.

"Where?"

"Get information..." I trailed off, hurrying away. I left Jacob standing there, as I ran towards the fireplace. I had to get to the Ministry. I had to find...

* * *

"Arthur" I called, standing in the doorway of his office. He looked up and smiled. "Have you heard anything from Remus?"

His smile vanished. His face paled.

**Well hello there, my seemingly non-existant reviewers. Yep, hardly anyone reviewed the last chapter, (thank you to those who did), but it would be nice to know what the rest of you think. You could follow the example of another reviewer of mine and just leave a smiley face of some sort. But please do not click the X sign until you clicked the review button. Please?**

**P.s. I had not time to proof read what with the week i've had. I'm not going to tell anyone what happened because it's a hard topic and I don't want pity, lol. So again, sorry my writing is shit. Luv Gurugirl x**


	43. Scrapes and Cuts

Warning: This is not proof read Disclaimer: Anything you recognise from the books is obviously not mine Author's note: Thanks for the reviews, I hope to see many more

**This chapter is dedicated to my Grandad. I Love You and Miss You xx**

"You know, you should have got this checked Tonks. The metal you scraped it on was rusty and has infected your wound" said Arthur, as he poked my leg with his wand, examining the large cut that now had a vague black tinge to it. I sat back in my chair and put my other leg on top of the desk to join the injured one.

"I had more pressing things to concern myself with" I replied. "Now are you going to answer me?".

"Yes Tonks" he said. "You love him very deeply don't you?" he asked.

"Yes" I replied, instantly. I didn't even have to think about it.

"I've always said to Remus that he is being foolish to refuse you, but he won't listen. The man is stubborn" he said, smiling slightly while he pull out a roll of bandages from his desk draw. His office was bigger now he was head of the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective objects. Wow, that was a mouthful. He started winding the bandage around my leg, humming softly.

"Arthur, are you going to answer my question?" I asked, getting slightly irritated.

"That depends on you, really. I don't want you to go and do something stupid Tonks. You love him, and people do stupid and reckless things for those they love" he explained, as he tapped the bandage and it secured itself.

"Thank you. And I promise I won't go hunting him down amongst the werewolves, if that's what you mean. I _Promise_ Arthur" I said. "I know that walking in there, would be the equivalent to suicide. I love Remus, and I know he wouldn't want me to walk in there, especially if it was for him. He already blames himself for so much".

"Your a fine woman Tonks, and one day Remus will see it" he said. "And I have no more qualms about telling you now. I have not heard anything of Remus since christmas, neither has any other Order member. We're all very worried about him, and Dumbledore's not saying anything, but I believe his mission ends soon. Hopefully we will see him soon, but there have been reports, attacks and such like. You have a right to be worried, but I can't give you any answers. I suggest that if you want to know how he is, you speak to Dumbledore. He's the one Remus reports too, so he's your best bet".

"Ok, thanks. I think I will. Tomorrow perhaps. I'll guard Hogwarts from the inside, besides Hogsmead will be packed full of young wizards and witches learning to apparate, I think".

"Ah yes" Arthur said. "I believe Ron is one of them".

"Oh, then Harry and Hermione will be there too".

"I don't think Harry will, he doesn't become of age until July. Until then he can't take his test, and the test is later this month. There's no point in having the extra practise if he's not taking the test" Arthur explained.

"Too bad" I said, stiffling a yawn behind my hand.

"Working hard?" he asked.

"I guess so. I'm so tired all the time, and hungry. But I just can't seem to eat or sleep" I explained.

"Hmmm" he said, slapping my legs off the desk. "I bet you wouldn't say no to some of Molly's meatball's?". I licked my lips hungrily, Molly's cooking could bring anyone around, she was an amazing cook, and i'd missed her alot. She was like a second mother to me.

"Yes please" I said, happily. "So, do you think I will survive my leg injury?" I asked, looking thoughtfully at the bandage.

"I'm sure you will live to kick Remus's backside another day" he said dramatically, and I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it, I never thought I'd hear Arthur, of all people, saying that. I put my fist in my mouth to try and stop the giggles but more came.

"Where did that come from?" I gasped.

"I don't actually know" smiled Arthur. "But it made you laugh".

"It did. So when do you finish work?" I asked.

"I am already done for the day. It has been quiet today, which is unusual, but it's nice to finish a bit earlier. I expect Molly will be pleased. She hates it when I work late" he explained.

"Then i'm taking up your free time, sorry Arthur".

"No problem Tonks, besides, you are coming to dinner" he smiled, and I returned it.

* * *

"Oh Tonks, it's so good to see you" squealed Molly, as she pulled me into a bone crushing hug. I had only just put a foot through the door.

"And you Molly" I breathed out. What was it with everyone trying to squeeze me to death lately?

"Come on Molly dear, let the poor girl breathe" chuckled Arthur, and Molly pulled away, but not before she had sent a glare his way. "I said she could stay for tea, that alright dear?".

"Of course it is. Come in, come in" she said, ushering us through the door, and glancing outside before shutting it.

"Tonks" squealed Fleur as she glided into the kitchen. Literally glided. I doubt her feet touched the floor. She pulled me into a gentler hug than Molly, and kissed me on both cheeks. "It eez so wonderful to see you, Tonks".

"Yes, yes" said Molly, moving past us. "If your not doing anything, could you help set the table?". Fleur huffed, but went to do it anyway. I watched her place the mat's down, and thought she looked a little sad.

"So, how are you Tonks?" asked Molly, as I sat down at the table.

"Fine Molly" I lied, somewhat easily, though she didn't look as if she believed me. She went back to the stove and Fleur came and sat next to me. Arthur had disappeared.

"You are not fine, I am thinking" said Fleur, looking at me sideways. I felt nervous, as if under scrutiny.

"No, i'm not" I whispered.

"I see it in your eyes. You may hide behind your words, but you are hurting inside" said Fleur, knowingly.

"I am" I muttered. "How did you-".

"At my school, we were taught 'ow to read people, so zat we could look out for them" she explained. "I am very sorry you are in pain" she said, sincerely.

"So am I" I said, looking over at Molly, who didn't seem to be listening to us. "I haven't spoke about it for a while, it hurts to much. I try to forget but I can't. It's hard to explain, I don't feel like myself".

"Zat is because you are not yourself" she said. I sighed. "If you ever need a listening ear, i'm always 'ere. _Always_" she said, darkly.

"Take it you don't like it here?" I asked. Fleur watched as Molly walked out of the room, muttering about Merlin knows what. Then she turned back to me.

"No, it eez not zat. I like it 'ere, but I wish Bill's parents liked me. I have tried everything in my power, but I am out of place. I love 'im, and so I want to be accepted. But it does not look like zat will 'appen. It makes me sad" she said, her voice trembling. My heart went out for Fleur, she wasn't that bad, and I was starting to think that Molly was being a bit like Remus. Molly had no reason not to accept Fleur. Fleur made Bill happy, and she tried to get on with his family. She made an effort. I felt sorry for her. I put my hand over hers, which was resting on the table, and squeezed it gently.

"I'm sorry Fleur, and if you ever need anything, just let me know. You love Bill, and he loves you, any fool can see it. Your perfect together. Molly will see that too, in time" I said, sincerely hoping my words were the truth.

"I 'ope so" she said. "Lupin is very lucky, though ee does not see it" she smiled, and I returned it, removing my hand.

"So..." I said, watching Molly bustle back in. "How's the wedding planning coming? When's the wedding? And where is it going to be?" I asked, not knowing any of these things.

"It eez coming along very well thank you. We are 'aving zee wedding in zee summer" she said. "Zee wedding is to be 'eld in France, my home land. I miss it very much, the beautiful countryside along with my Mama, Papa and of course my little seester. But I do miss zee gardens surrounding my 'ouse. Zey were always beautiful, especially in zee summertime. How I miss zee rolling hills and blossom trees, and zee the long summers days spent down by zee pond with Gabrielle".

"France sounds beautiful" I whispered.

"You are coming to zee wedding, no?" she asked. "I can show you zee views then".

"I would love that".

"Good, and you know..." she dropped her voice into a stage whisper. "We may not touch, but we can oggle zee fine men out there, no?".

I giggled, and nodded to please her. I could never oggle another man. Not now I'd met Remus. But I still wanted to go, I wanted to see France very much. Molly called the men, and both Bill and Arthur came in laughing, taking their seats at the table as food was set in front of us.

The meal was pleasant, me and Fleur spent most of it talking about her wedding. When I say we, I mean she talked about her wedding while I scoffed my meatballs and nodded enthusiastically. She told me about the dresses she'd picked for Ginny and Gabrielle, and whispered to me about her hopes for her own. Then she smiled slyly at Bill who was sitting opposite her and he squeezed her hand over the table. I could see Arthur smile and Molly roll her eyes, but I found it both sickening and sweet at the same time.

When the conversation turned to me I talked about mundane stuff like guard duty, and the Auror's fighting with eachother which gave Arthur and Bill something to chuckle about. Molly mentioned Remus once, but I tried to squash the feeling of pain and answered calmly that I hadn't see him lately, but I expected he was busy.

All in all it was a rather uneventful, yet interesting night. I liked the company of women for a change, living with three males does tend to irritate you after awhile. I decided to sleep at my flat that night, and so I waved goodbye to get a good night's sleep. I didn't know then that I would definetly need it for the next day.

**

* * *

**

**I walked up the castle quickly, the sun shining down on me and I scuffed my feet on the grass. It felt good to be inside the grounds, especially when most students were lazing around and in Hogsmead. It was a good thing they were wrapped up in their own free time, otherwise I would have been stared at. Aurors entering the castle was not common, but when they did it caused great interest. I hated people staring. Upon reaching the castle, I found the doors wide open, and so walked straight in and up the stairs, heading for Professor Dumbledore's office. That's when I bumped into McGonagall. Literally.**

**"Oh my god, professor, i'm so sorry" I gasped, bending down to help her gather up her papers.**

**"That's quite alright dear" she said, taking the papers from me. I looked at her and saw she looked... worried? Stressed? Pre-occupied? Maybe it wasn't just my fault that I bumped into her.**

**"Are you ok, Professor?".**

**"Please, call me Minerva now, I am no longer your professor" she said. "And yes, I am fine. But what are you doing here, shouldn't you be down at the gates? I heard your already missing an Auror, not slacking off are we?" she said, sternly. Ok, so your not my professor, but you still treat me like a student.**

**"No, Dawlish is covering for me. I'm taking the night shift with Proudfoot. Actually, I just came to find Dumbledore" I explained.**

**"I'm afraid Albus is not here at the moment. He'll be back soon, I expect" she said, though she didn't sound to sure.**

**"Oh ok, thanks" I said, mildly, before bidding her farewell and walking away. My head was swimming. Dumbledore's not here. Where could he possibly be? What was he doing, leaving the school to do, what? And what about Remus? How am I ever going to find out what's happened to him...**

**I was walking along the fifth floor before I even realised where I was. It was strange how one could get lost in their thoughts and in their surroundings.**

**"OUCH" shouted someone in front of me. An invisibility cloak fell off that someone, who was hopping on one foot with his back to me.**

**"Harry?" I asked, slightly confused. He spun around and toppled over. I walked towards him, watching the confusion on his face. He was standing outside where the room of requirement was hidden. I felt comfortable back in Hogwarts for some reason.**

**"What are you doing here?" he asked, looking shocked to see me. He scrambled to his feet, looking embarassed.**

**"I came to see Dumbledore" I said, honestly.**

**"His office isn't here" he said. "It's round the other side of the castle, behind the gargoyle-"**

**"I know" I cut him off. "He's not there. Apparently he's gone away again".**

**"Has he?" he said. "Hey - you don't know where he goes do you?" he asked.**

**"No". **_**If I did, would I be here now?**_

**"What did you want to see him about?".**

**"Nothing in particular" I said, picking at my robe, thinking of Remus. "I just thought he might know what's going on... I've heard rumours ... people getting hurt..." I said, trying to control my voice, though it was breaking.**

**"Yeah, I know, it's all been in the papers" he said. I suddenly realised there was a question I could ask him, that might help me. "That little kid trying to kill his-".**

**"The Prophet's often behind the times" I said. "You haven't had any letters from anyone in the Order recently?" I heard him say 'no' and felt ill. He hadn't heard from Remus. The next meeting was in a few weeks and I had no way of knowing if he was dead or alive until then. I felt tears prick in my eyes, and became aware that Harry was still speaking.**

**"- Miss him, as well...".**

**"What?" I asked, blankly, not understanding anything that he'd just said. I decided to leave, this trip had done nothing to help, in fact, everything I did nowadays just made things worse. "Well... I'll see you around, Harry...". And I turned to leave, before I completely broke down. I managed to control myself until I got to the old Beech tree by the lake. No-one was around, so I sank to the floor, pulled my knees up to my chest and sobbed.**

* * *

"Maybe you should finish up for the night, i'll stay here and cover. You look terrible" Jacob rambled, but I ignored him and carried on leaning against Hogwarts gates, staring up at the castle.

"Tonks? Tonks?".

"I'm fine here, Jacob" I replied, softly, wrapping my left hand tightly around the bar. "Besides, I already skipped a shift today, i'm not going to skip another".

"But Nymphadora -"

"Tonks" I corrected.

"Tonks... you keep zoning out. Twice i've had to repeat what I was saying because your not focused".

"I'm fine" I snapped, and he recoiled a bit. "Sorry, shouldn't have shouted. Not your fault. But i'm fine here Jacob, I like it here. I hate it at that flat, especially being stuck with Dawlish" I whispered.

"Sorry" he whispered. "I understand".

"How's Mark?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"He's ok, I guess. He gets out on tuesday".

"Ahh, just two more days to go until he's back in our company. I bet he's looking forward to that" I said, sarcastically.

"Hmmm, he's worried about you, you know?" he asked. "And so am I. Listen, about what I said at Mungos...".

"It's fine Jacob, just - leave it" I said, desperate for him to do exactly as I said.

"Tonks-"

"No serious Jacob, drop it. I can't hear this now" I said through gritted teeth. It wasn't his fault, but I just didn't want him talking about it.

"Ok Tonks, sorry" he muttered, his tone apologetic. I felt guilty, but not guilty enough to apologise. I lent against the bars again and stared up at Hogwarts. I heard Jacobs pacing footsteps on the ground behind me, but I continued to look up at the castle.

Hogwarts held so many fond memories for me. The most delicious food around, made by those charming little house elves. I recalled the time I went into the kitchens for something sweet, and ended up knocking over several jugs of pumpkin juice. The Ravenclaws didn't touch their dinner that night. And 6th year potions with the Amortentia potion. Snape had made each one of us recall what we had smelt, and though it was embarassing for some, it wasn't for me. I closed my eyes and remembered the sweet smells that had floated from the cauldron. I had smelt three very different things. One smell was of the sea, salty and tangy, the second was the smell of books, when they were old and worn, and the third was chocolate, rich and sweet. Could these really be what attracts me? I hadn't thought about it since Hogwarts, I had no need too, but now...

"Tonks" hissed Jacob. I turned around and saw him pointing his wand towards the bushes. Apparently, he had seen something.

"What is it?" I asked, quietly, pulling out my wand. We stood facing the outskirts of the forest as two black figures emerged from within. I sucked in my breath as Jacob stood forward, blocking me slightly. Before I had chance to blink, one of the figures sent a curse flying at us and we both ducked in different directions. The fight was on.

"Stupefy! Stupefy" I screamed at my one, but he kept blocking me, sending spells that I did not recognise at me. I dived to the floor to avoid a particularly nasty looking purple curse, but as I scrambled back up and cutting spell was sent at me, and I felt blood run down my face. I didn't waste time examining the gash on my face, though, because he was coming for me again.

"Expelliarmus" I shouted and his wand flew out of his hand and disappeared into the forest. Jacob was battling furiously beside me, but shouted "after him" at me, as my deatheater turned to run back into the forest. I made to run, but a blue streak of light hit me in the back, and I fell screaming to the ground.

My body was in agony, I could feel the blood from the earlier cut running down my face and sticking to my lashes. The pain in my back felt like a thousand knives were being stabbed into me, repeatedly.

"_Stupefy!_"shouted Jacob from above me somewhere. "_Stupefy!_ You Bastard".

The pain started to ebb away, and I layed still on the ground beneath me. I closed my eyes so that the blood from my cut wouldn't seep into them, and tried to breathe without causing myself to much pain.

The next moment I felt myself being carried, and someone shouting from the distance. Then I drifted off.

...

"She'll be ok?" a voice said, from nowhere.

"Yes Mr. Proudfoot. It's a good thing you summoned me, she would not have survived the journey to Mungos, that was a dark curse, a very dark curse indeed" came another voice. I heard a creaking sound, and then a snap.

"Scrimgeour's on his way" came another, who I now recognised as Dawlish. I felt as stab of pain course through my body and groaned.

"S'alright dear, take it easy" I recognised the voice, but couldn't place it. It was definetly a woman's though. "She will be in quiet some pain, but you have to make sure she drinks this, three times a day. Can you do that?". I opened my eyes and cringed at the light in the room. Sitting on the bed beside me was Madam Pomfrey, holding a bottle of green liquid that she had obviously been dabbing on my face. Standing behind her were Dawlish and Jacob, both looking concerned. I was in my bedroom.

"Welcome back Tonks" drawled Dawlish.

"Miss Tonks, the cut on your face should heal soon but it was caused by a rather powerful piece of magic. Give it a month and keep applying this" she indicated the bottle in her hand "as much as possible. Also you were hit with a dark curse of which I have never seen but have patched you up reasonably well, and Mr. Proudfoot has a potion for you to drink. I suggest you stay in bed for a few days" she said. My mind went fuzzy and blank.

"Ok" I answered, slowly, my voice was husky.

"Now I must get back to the castle. I will come and check on you in a few days" and with that, Dawlish showed her out.

"Well, you gave me a right scare there, Tonks. I'm sorry, it was my fault. I took my eyes of him for a second".

"Don't worry bout it" I croaked. "Is my face bad" he bit his lip. "Truth please".

"Yes, very. You have a long thin cut going from the right corner of your forehead, over your eye and landing on the opposite cheek. But don't worry Tonks, it'll heal. It wasn't dark magic, just powerful".

"I don't understand why they attacked. They could have just got away".

"I don't understand either, but deatheaters are stupid" said Jacob, and I almost laughed. "Dawlish got the one who did it. He's on his way to Azkaban. But no more worrying about that. You need rest, you fought really well tonight".

"Thanks Jacob" I said, as he came close with a bottle of gold liquid. He tipped it down my throat before I could protest, and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Crappy little chapter, I know, but it's the best I can do for now. Me thinks you may like the next chapter... I shall say no more. xx REVIEW xx**

**So i'm thinking two more chapters, and then the battle, cause seriously, I think we all can't stand Remus and Tonks not being together for any longer. Let me know what ya think?**


	44. Just Like Pandora's Box

**OK, for this chapter, the chunks in italics are flashbacks, the normal writng is information about what has happened to Tonks over the past month. The rest I think you could figure out yourself. Thanks to those few who reviewed, I appreciated it. Please review this chapter as I love this chapter and I think you will too.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, do you really think i'd be here?  
**

**Just Like Pandora's Box**

When Savage returned home two days later, the first words out of his mouth were "Merlin Tonks, you've been in the wars". My automatic response was for him to look at himself, but his words hurt more than I thought they would. When I had woke up the day before and saw the bright red, puffy cut that had been slashed diagonally across my face, I cried out in shock, and slapped my hand to my mouth. I looked bad, horrible even. My right eye was slightly squinted because of the cut's position on my face.

After I had seen my reflection I had applied so much lotion to the cut that I could have drowned in it. Jacob told me battle scars were cool, and not to worry about it, but I couldn't help it. It was there. Reflected in every surface, taunting me. It seemed to be screaming out at me, reminding me of how crap an Auror I am, I couldn't even block a simple cutting spell.

As time passed nothing much really happened for us. We did guard duty as usual, though I have to admit that I was afraid to do it by myself for awhile, and I kept jumping at every little thing. Mark and Jacob were caught several times by me and Dawlish doing certain _things _that should be kept for private. Dawlish ripped the shit out of them, and had become more malicious and, dare I say it, bitchy towards all three of us. I was really getting tired of it, I mean, how far is he going to go. I swear one of us is just gonna turn round and snap. I'm hoping it won't be me, i'm already in trouble. Let's just say my visit to the castle did not go unnoticed and someone blabbed on me. Scrimgeour is not impressed with me 'ditching' duty (but I wasn't) and has warned me about who's side i'm on. Side? SIDE? Who does he think he is, the Minister of... oh wait, yeah... anyway he still shouldn't have said it. I thought Dumbledore and the Ministry were working together, but I guess not.

It was mid April when I sat on the rooftop with Savage again. We both had a butterbeer and a blanket and we talked about practically everything...

_"Dawlish is being really bitchy. I swear one of these days i'm going to smack him one. If he makes one more crack about me and Jake i'm gonna get his head and..." he made a violent movements with his hands to demonstrate the pain he would inflict on Dawlish's over inflated head. I giggled._

_"Yeah, I know what you mean. Why the hell can't he leave me alone, I mean, scarface? Can he not think of something original" I spat, swigging my drink._

_"That cut is really getting to you, ain't it?"_

_"It's meant to have gone by now, but the ointment-y stuff ain't working" I groaned._

_"It won't scar, it just needs time. Besides, all you can see is a pink line now. When I first saw it it was really bad" he said._

_"Gee, thanks" I muttered._

_"What? I'm just telling the truth" he said. "And speaking of telling the truth, did you read the Prophet this morning? They said there had been nine dementor attacks this week. Bunch of liars" he spat._

_"Why, how many were there really?" I asked, shuddering at the thought._

_"Too many to count, nearly half were muggles though, I swear. St. Mungos has a whole ward specifically for dementor attacks now. Never had it before. Don't know what i'd do if I met one, I was never able to conjure more than a wisp of smoke" he said._

_"Merlin, but I guess they don't want to scare anyone" I said. "I can produce a corporeal Patronus though. Or at least, I think I can. I haven't tried it in awhile, and I need a happy memory. Most of mine are mingled with sadness" I said, regrettably._

_"Try Tonks. Try now. You never know" he encouraged._

_"Ok" I said, shakily, pulling out my wand. "Expecto Patronum" I said, closing my eyes and thinking furiously of happy things, powerful memories, pouring all my thought and energy into it. I knew it must have worked when Mark gasped "Whoo". I opened my eyes and saw the huge form sitting in front of me._

_"What's that?" asked Mark._

_"A werewolf" I replied, my lip trembling as it disappeared. Mark looked over at me then put an arm around my shoulder._

_"It's ok" he whispered. "It'll be ok. He'll come round". By this time, Mark knew everything about everything. He was too smart and clever to be lied to. He knew about Remus already ofcourse, but he also knew of my panic and fear for his safety._

_"Yeah, I guess your right" I sighed._

_"Hey! I'm always right" he said, and I was about to contradict him when a voice floated up to us through my window._

_"What are you two doing? Get down from there" shouted Dawlish._

_"Your not my mother, you can't tell me what to do" I called back._

_"Fine, get yourselves killed. I know you Tonks, your bound to fall off. Freaks" he muttered the last word under his breath but we still heard him. The window slammed shut._

_"Let me at him" snarled Mark as I grabbed his shirt, making sure he couldn't go nowhere._

_"There will come a time where we can beat up Dawlish, but now is not it. Besides, we have to figure out how were going to get down" I answered, simply. He looked at me sharply._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"The window we climbed through to get up here" I said. "Dawlish just shut it..."._

After that things started to get worse. Jacob walked into the flat one day and informed us of a Werewolf attack. Hugo Montgomery, a five year old boy, was attacked by Fenrir Greyback because his mother had refused to join the deatheaters. He had been rushed to hospital, but the St. Mungos staff hadn't been able to save him. He had two older sisters in Hogwarts. I could only imagine how they were feeling.

_Jacob poured me and Mark a glass of firewhisky and raised it. Even though we did not know the boy personally, we were all affected by it. It made you realise how lucky you were and how some bastards in this world really did need putting down._

_"To Hugo Montgomery, rest in peace lad" Jacob said, before taking a sip and bursting into tears. Mark put his arm around him, and Jacob sobbed on his shoulder. Jacob had been the one who had to show the body to the mother and he had been hit hard by this, but neither of us knew the full reason why until now._

_"He's the same age as my nephew. And, and- the deatheaters, their trying to recruit me. I'm a pureblood. The other day they cornered me, told me they'd forgive me if I joined them. But I will never join them. What if my nephew is attacked? And it's my fault" he sobbed. I came round the table and placed a hand on his shoulder. Mark tilted Jacob's face towards his, and looked him straight in the eye._

_"Listen to me, it's going to be ok. I will do everything in my power to make it ok. You were right to refuse them. Don't worry babe, we'll get through this. You have me, and you have Tonks, and your sister and nephew" said Mark, stroking Jacob's hair. I could tell he wasn't sure what to say, but it didn't matter, just being in Mark's arms seemed to calm Jacob down. In some ways I envied them. In some, I pitied them. This war would tare them apart, of that, I was absolutely certain._

On the 21st of April, the Hogwarts students were taking there apparation exam in Hogsmead and me and Jacob decided to go watch them, from afar of course. We weren't ment to interfere. I caught a glimpse of Hermione and Ron, but Harry wasn't there. He didn't become of age until July, and he must have felt really left out, up in the castle on his own.

Jacob told me the story of his apparation test, in which he failed three times before passing. First time he'd splinched and left half of himself on the other side of the street. The second time he'd apparated 4 miles west of where he was ment to have apparated. And the third time he'd thought he'd passed it, until the examiner spotted that he'd left his pinky finger behind. On the fourth time he'd got it right though...

_"Ha ha, you fail" I teased. "I passed first time" I said, proudly._

_"Yeah well, your a swat" he said, as he leant against the wall, watching the students._

_"Am not. I'm just a girl, we can focus on two things at once. I can move and think at the same time" I replied, scraping my knuckle against the wall._

_"Yeah yeah, but when you move you end up falling flat on your face" I stuck my tongue out. "Anyway, shouldn't we get up to the gates. We're on duty in" he checked his watch "ten minutes"._

_"Yeah suppose" I answered, and with one quick glance at the students, we apparated to the lane leading to Hogwarts. In light of the events in Hogsmead, we felt it appropriate._

* * *

It was the beginning of the second week in May when I recieved a letter from Ginny, which came as quite a shock but what was written in it shocked me even more. It read;

**Tonks, i'm freaking out. Harry used a spell on Draco Malfoy called 'Sectumsempra', and now he has detention with Snape every saturday for the rest of the year. Don't be mad at Harry, Malfoy was going to use an unforgiveable, and Harry regrets what he's done. Anyway, my problem is that I now have to play seeker in the match against Ravenclaw. It's the match that decides the Cup. Oh god Tonks, I know i'm going to screw up cause i'm not that good at seeker but I don't let my house down. Or Harry. Especially not Harry, cause I broke up with Dean and I was kind of hoping, but if we lose the cup...**

**Tonks, help me! -Ginny x**

My reply:

**Calm down Gin, everything is going to be fine. Just keep your focus, I know you can do it gal! I'm not mad at Harry, and i'm sure spending every saturday with Snape is punishment enough. You dumped Dean? Why? I don't really understand. And write me when you've played the match, i'm working unfortunately so I can't come and see it. - Tonks x**

Her:

**Oh he was just really getting on my nerves, and I liked him but not as much as someone else. And yeah i'll write you after the match. Wish me luck. - Ginny x**

On the sunday morning I got a letter from Ginny that made me beam with joy and do a little happy dance. Mark danced too, purely for the fun of it, and Jacob groaned in annoyance at how his old house had lost and that his partner (boyfriend?) was dancing like an idiot.

**Guess what? We won the cup! We won the cup! And I go out with Harry. OMG Tonks, I still can't believe it myself, but after the match he came back from detention, and we were all partying in the common room, and I run and hug Harry and guess what he does? He kisses me! In front of everyone. I feel like some love sick gushy fangirl at the moment and I must calm down before I meet him for breakfast, but still. We spent last night down by the lake, walking, talking... kissing. **

**Anyway, like I said, we won the cup. I got the snitch from right under Chang's nose. Take that! Anyway, thanks for the support. I hope I see you soon, I've really missed you. I hope your ok. Your coming over in the summer holidays right? Let me know -Ginny xx**

I sent her a reply saying '**of course**' and '**congratulations on winning the cup and Harry's heart**' and '**miss you too**'.

_

* * *

Present day. May 19th_

Mad-eye's patronus arrived in the kitchen as I sat drinking coffee with Jacob. Mark and Dawlish had gone on duty, and none of us were particularly happy about this. Every moment Mark and I spent in Dawlish's presence was like being in hell, and he had even started on Jacob, who he'd always got along with.

_Nymphadora, meeting in ten. You know where. _Then the patronus faded. I looked over at Jacob, who had his eyebrow raised.

"Want me to cover for you?" he asked. "Cause you know, if Dawlish finds out..."

"Scrimgeour will find out, yeah" I said. "I don't see what he's got against the Order".

"It's because it's not in his control" he smiled, grimly.

"Hmm, well I better go get my sandals. There the only shoes I own that go with this outfit" I said, standing up and placing my mug on the table.

"Your such a girl" he muttered, and I stuck my tongue out as I left the kitchen and crossed the hall to my room. I was wearing a white button up blouse and a pair of faded denim shorts, trying to look semi respectable. But it was really hot today. I grabbed my sandals and slipped them on, before returning to the kitchen to grab my wand that was sitting on the side.

"See ya soon, Tonksie" trilled Jacob. I smacked him over the head on my way out.

Apparating to Grimmauld Place was a doddle, and soon I was climbing the stairs in the heat. It was much hotter in London than in Scotland. I tapped on the door with my wand, and it swung open. Though it was mid morning, the lamps inside still had to come on. Grimmauld place really was grim. I made my way down the hall, wondering what would be said today, who would be there, what would be expected of me. Then I slipped and landed on my butt. I groaned as I glared at the umbrella stand, and pulled myself to my feet. My back now killed as well as my butt, and my ankle was twisted.

"Stop clowning around Nymphadora" growled Mad-eye from behind me. I rolled my eyes and turned to him.

"Oh, so sorry Mad-eye, but tripping over that umbrella stand is my favourite past time. I couldn't resist injuring myself over it" I said, sarcastically.

"Enough of the lip, girly. Besides, you already have a battle scar" he said, pointing to my face. Despite the fact that it wasn't meant to last long, it had now decided that staying on my face was a good thing. Over a month with a cut across my face. I grimaced. If you weren't looking for it, you couldn't see it, and it had almost gone now. Just a faint line where it had been. Poppy reckoned it would be gone in a few days. I prayed she was right.

"Don't worry about it" he said, gruffly, obviously noticing my discomfort. "It'll disappear. Anyway, we best get in there" he shoved me towards the door. I walked quickly, whispering back to Mad-eye as I went.

"Am I expected to say something?".

"Perhaps".

"Great".

We entered the kitchen and I sat on the chair around the other side of the table, facing the door. Only Hestia and Diggle were there, and Mad-eye ofcourse. The door opened again and in walked the Weasley twins, who beamed at me and chimed "Hello Nymphadora" at the same time. They took a seat either side of me. Next to enter was Molly and Arthur, and then Mundungus trailed behind them, spelling strongly of whisky. Then Kingsley entered. And last of all, Dumbledore swept in.

"Friends, welcome" he said. "I see Mundungus is out of Azkaban, how delightful".

"Weren't my fault in the first place, Dumbledore, your headship" replied Dung. I smiled.

"Well be that as it may-" slam. The front door had just opened and shut again. "Ah, I see he has arrived. Finally". The door crept open, and my heart leapt to my throat. Remus, looking more wounded and ragged than ever, was pushing the door open, and dumping a bag by it as he entered the room.

"Sorry Albus, getting away wasn't the easiest job in the world" he said, trying to smile. I say trying because it looked like a smile, but I could see he was in pain.

"No worries Remus" he replied, waving a hand towards the chair opposite me. Remus took it but was careful not to look up at me. Dumbledore continued.

"As an Order, there is not much we can do at this time, but stick together and fight together. If the time comes, and I should call on you for help, I hope that those who I ask will answer. Also I believe we need to know as much as possible about what is going on around us. So I would like a report from each one of you, if you please. Remus, would you start" he asked.

Remus nodded. "Ofcourse". He took a few deep breaths then looked up. "As you all know I have been spending my time among my fellows, my equals, as it were. I was taken in by Greyback almost immediately because he believed me his 'son' who had seen sense. There were many in the pack that were suspicious of me. It was difficult persuading them that I was one of them, and I ended up spinning a tale about how I'd fallen in love with a girl who had rejected me for being a werewolf. After that, they took pity and stopped being so suspicious. There were a few that I was able to persuade to our cause, but one night they 'mysteriously' disappeared. I believe they are dead, killed by Greyback for being traitors. After that I knew I was in danger, and so I haven't contacted anyone in months for their own safety as well as my own. Today I left for good, although it was a struggle to get away. I'm sad to report that in the end, no werewolf other than myself is now willing to fight for Dumbledore over Voldemort. I tried. I'm sorry" he finished.

"Remus, you have nothing to be sorry for" said Dumbledore. "You did your best, no-one can ask anymore than that. I will not pretend that I am not now frightened. Voldemort having both the giants and werewolves on his side, along with the dementors who are swooping around all over the place. Dear dear, this isn't looking good indeed. Even more dark and dangerous times lie ahead" he muttered to himself.

"The Ministry is doing everything it possibly can, although at times I must say I have questioned it's methods. Scrimgeour may be stronger, but I do not believe he will be able to lead us through this. Already there are more muggles being jinxed to kill the Prime Minister than before. And from what i've heard, the other Aurors are getting no support either" said Kingsley, in his slow deep voice.

"You believe the Ministry will fall before the end of this" Dumbledore stated. Kingsley nodded.

"I don't believe it will fall if you are still around, Albus. It would be foolish" grunted Mad-eye, but Dumbledore ignored him. Instead he turned to me.

"Miss Tonks, do you share Kingsley's views on this matter?".

"Well, I do share them in some ways. The Ministry is extremely prejudiced, and the Minister even more so it would seem. My collegues and I have been dumped in Hogsmead with no support, like Kingsley said. We have been left to our own devices and it has been tricky to work out our differences and do the job. I will not tell you the _amusing_ tales now, but we are not coping. Four of us cooped up together day in day out is not doing anyone any good, and although we do duty as best we can- I still don't think anything could get past your enchantments, Professor" I smiled at him.

"I believe there is something else on your mind?" asked Dumbledore, and he was right, ofcourse. He was always right.

"The Minister doesn't like me being more loyal to you, than to him. He didn't say the exact words, but it's either the Order and you, or the Ministry and him".

"Then why are you here?" growled Mad-eye.

"You told me to come" I said. "No, i'm loyal to the Order now. The Ministry can go to hell. Without the Order I wouldn't be who I am now".

"Won't you be in trouble if they return to find you have left and come here?" asked Dumbledore.

"Proudfoot's covering for me" I said. "There are a few still who will take my side".

"Good. Thank you Miss Tonks. Best of luck, by the way. I sincerely hope that you do not lose your job because of me".

"If I lose my job, it will be because of me. No-one else" I whispered, before hanging my head.

The meeting ended about ten minutes later, after Fred and George had told us all of the going's on in Diagon alley, and yet another shop closing up over night. I sighed as we were dismissed, I felt like I was back at Hogwarts, except there was no bell. As I stood up I watched Remus leave, though he walked through the door without his bag, so I quickly walked around the table and followed him. When I got into the hall, I found that he hadn't left because the door had not opened nor shut. But a creek from the floor above alerted me to his current whereabouts. I would let him be on his own for a little while, and then I would go and speak to him.

When I did go up, I found him standing in the middle of Sirius's room, with his back to the door. I watched him as he looked around and sighed, sadly.

"You miss him, huh?".

He didn't jump at my voice, he knew I was there. He always knew. "Yeah I do". He sighed again, and turned around. "You know, when I was in Hogwarts, I looked around at my friends and the others in my class and thought 'i'm going to go first' either in battle or from the strain of my lycanthropy. But here I am, the only one left. The last Maraunder. Lingering on" he said, bitterly.

"Your not lingering, Remus".

"Then what am I doing, Nymphadora?" he asked.

"Your fighting. Like i'm fighting, and Mad-eye and Dumbledore and the muggle-borns. Even like Harry in his own teenage way. You know, sometimes I try to imagine how he can do it, but I just can't. I just can't see how someone so young can deal with all that pressure" I said, slightly more to myself than Remus.

"He has a lot of James in him. And Lily. He got the best of both of them".

"You know he's dating Ginny right?" Remus raised his eybrow.

"Really?".

"Yeah, he is. Ginny sent me a letter. His team also won the Quidditch cup. Anyway I was thinking and, Lily was a redhead right?" I asked.

"Yes" he said, seeming to understand where I was going. "She was".

"Well I was kind of thinking that Harry and Ginny are sort of like James and Lily. Correct me if i'm wrong, but Sirius once showed me a memory of you in the common room, and he chucked your book in the fire and Lily came over. She was like fierce and confident, and an obvious red head" he smirked. "And James was alot like Harry, though I think that James may have been very cocky. Sirius always said he was".

Remus laughed. "Yes Prongs was definetly cocky. More than that actually".

"Don't you just love the irony".

He laughed loudly. "Ah, I bet Prongs would have".

"I can't believe they didn't get together sooner, but I guess Harry liked that Chang girl or something" I said.

"I can imagine James shouting at Harry to turn around and see Ginny, in my head right now. Kind of weird" he said, and burst into a fit of giggles, but quickly calmed down.

"I don't like Ravenclaw's" I said.

"Huh?".

"Chang's a Ravenclaw. _Bloody snobs_" I muttered. "It was always like that at Hogwarts. Like Griffindor Vs. Slytherin. Ravenclaw vs. Hufflepuff. Hufflepuffs valued people's hearts rather than there brains".

"Yeah. I can remember duelling the Slytherins in the corridor everytime they tried to cast a sneeky hex at us" he smiled, reminising. "I was younger then, I didn't really know war. I wasn't much good".

"You are good. And it's just like duelling between classes at Hogwarts. Except on a bigger scale, and your more likely to be killed in battle. Although, McGonagall's glares... if looks could kill...".

We both burst out laughing, and once we started we couldn't stop. He clutched the bedframe, and I clutched the door, trying to calm myself down.

"It feels good to laugh" he said, "can't remember the last time I did".

"Me neither" I said. "It feels kinda normal being back here. The only thing missing is Sirius prancing around, singing his hippogriff song".

"Thank you Nymphadora".

"For what?".

"Making me laugh again".

"Well, I am brilliant" I said, "now bow down to my awesomeness".

He grinned. "You remind me so much of Sirius".

"Don't know whether that's an insult or a compliment..."

"It's both really" he smiled, and I smiled back. It didn't feel so painful. His face suddenly turned serious. "Dora, your hair".

I looked at the tips of my hair. They were turning pink. Slowly and quite faded, but the colour was still obviously there.

"It's because of you" I whispered. He walked towards me, and put a hand on either side of my face. He leant forward and placed a light kiss on my forehead.

"I'm sorry Dora, I wish I could, but...".

"No" I said. "We're not having this argument again. I don't see why we have to keep having it. You know how I feel about you, and you've made you feelings pretty clear so I don't see why you push me away all the time" I snapped. "I miss laughing, but I miss you more" I said, softly.

"I know". We stood looking at eachother for a couple of minutes, which felt like a couple of hours.

"I'm fighting this war for those I love. For you. And i'm not ready to give up hope for us yet".

"I love you" he whispered. Our foreheads were now touching and his eyes were closed. "Being away from you caused me great pain, but being there, i've learnt so much. About who I really am. I am a monster and you could do so much better".

"I don't want better, for me there is no better. I want you. I love you, Remus, god dammit" I said, clutching at his t-shirt. His eyes snapped open. I slid one of my hands into his and held it up, before placing it on my chest. His breath hitched as my heart rate gathered pace. "It belongs to you now. It always will".

"Dora... please don't" he whispered. "Don't say that, don't give it to me. You need some pure and whole, someone unlike me. I am too old, too poor and far, far to dangerous Dora".

"I thought you were dead" his head snapped up. "I thought you were dead, and that i'd never see you again. I was terrified of losing you, and now I know your alive, I can't lose you all over again".

"I can't Dora" he whispered, and made to move around me through the door. But that was it, i'd had enough. I grabbed him by his shirt and pushed him, perhaps a little to hard, against the door. He looked down at me, shock written all over his face.

"No Remus, no! Your not just walking away from me" I said, fiercely. I watched him as his eyes raked over me, some sort of eternal struggle passing through him.

"No, I can't do this" he was muttering to himself. "I am too old, I have no energy for this". Without thinking about it, as if my mind was trying to prove him wrong, I stretched up and kissed him. I expected him to pull away, and had prepared myself for it, so when he kissed back more furiously than he had ever done before, I was shocked. I moaned as his hands raked over my bare arms and chest, one hand playing with the buttons on my blouse and the other gripping my hair. I had my arms securely around his neck as he backed me into the door frame. This was, there was no other word for it, intense. There was desperation in the kiss.

But all too soon the mood was spoiled. "Nymphadora. Lupin!" Barked a familiar voice from below us. I groaned in frustration. Remus had been doing some interesting things with his lips and his hips that I had NOT wanted interrupted. We broke apart, and Remus called hoarsely back.

"What?".

"Need to get going, need to speak to you Lupin" shouted Mad-eye up the stairs. Remus sighed and moved away from me, straighting out his shirt and then pointing to mine. I looked down and realised the first 5 buttons were undone. _Only two more to go_ I thought sagely, _Oh god he can see my bra. _I was wearing my white lacey bra, and felt extremely self conscious as I did up the buttons.

"We better get going before Mad-eye comes up here" he said, lightly. I nodded and followed him out of the room.

"Most of our conversations end the same way" I commented, as he shut Sirius's door. "We always end up snogging".

"You start it" he muttered.

"And your a bloke, so obviously you can't stop, even if you did want to. Which you didn't" I said, as we walked down the hall. "Still don't think you have the energy?".

"It was a mistake".

"One we keep making".

"Dora, stop. That was-".

"Amazing. Incredible. The best kiss i've ever had in my life" I cut in. I saw him smirk, though he tried to hide it from me.

"Really?" he asked, before shaking his head. "No Dora, it can't happen again. I stand by what I said earlier. I am all those things, I am not good enough for you".

"Remus, please" I whispered. "You are. You are!". We arrived downstairs, and I saw Mad-eye at the end of the hall, smirking at us. Bloody pervert, I bet he watched the whole thing with that eye of his!

"I'm not Dora. I am too old, poor and dangerous. And I have to go. It's for you own good" he whispered, before turning his back on me and walking to Mad-eye. He glanced back as he got to the front door, and then followed Mad-eye out. I was alone. But I had hope. Remus's kiss had meant something, and if he didn't want me, surely he would have pushed me away not kiss me harder, and undo my buttons and... stuff. I smirked at the memory, longing stirring inside me. I wanted him, all of him. Those thoughts would no doubt drive me crazier than ever.

_"Poor ickle bloodtraitor brat, can't get the beasty to love her"_ sneered Mrs. Black's portrait from behind me. Her curtains had obviously opened without me noticing.

I turned around and drew my wand. She looked at it and shrugged, smiling crookedly at me as if to say _'what you going to do?'._ I thrust my wand forward and poked her in the eye with it. She howled in agony and I turned away, smiling to myself with a new spring in my step. Though I was still sad, and the miserable feeling was starting to creep back.

I was like Pandora's box. Full of doom, and gloom, and despair. But buried way at the bottom, was a tiny glimmer of hope. And it would keep me going until we met again.

**Please review, i'll give you some of my world famous cookies! Seriously, I will, give me ya address and i'll bake ya sum! But please review, because reviews are as good as coffee. They keep me up so I can write more! PLEASE! P.s. this was non-beta'd and non-proof read. Sorry for any mistakes.  
**


	45. Nightmares Whilst Awake

**I do not own the chracters or places, but some of the ideas are mine!**

**Dedicated to EdwardLovesMe (i.e. Allie) for giving me te best review i've ever had, and to all my reviewers for spuring me on to write this, even tho I was ill and my mum nearly killed me when she found out i'd written this chapter when I was ment to be resting. P.s. I had no idea what to call this chapter, so this title is kinda suckish, but if anyone has any other suggestions...  
**

Nightmares Whilst Awake 

"Love me love me-".

"Shut up".

"-say that you love me".

"Savage!".

"Fool me, fool me-".

"Mark if you do not shut up singing that song right now, I swear I will NEVER touch you again" snapped Jacob.

Me and Jacob had been on duty since eight o'clock last night, and it was now three in the morning. Mark had decided to get pissed while we were gone, and then, about an hour ago, he came to join us. He was still pretty drunk and annoying Jacob. I walked around checking the enchantments and the woods surrounding the castle, while listening to their banter.

I yawned. "Maybe you should get him back Jacob" I suggested, turning to look at them. Mark was sat on the floor leaning against Jacob's legs, while Jacob tried unsuccessfully to shake him off. "I think he's fallen asleep". I gave another shuddering yawn.

"And you look as if you're about too" he replied, "you take him and get some sleep. I will stay here and wait for Dawlish to show up".

"Is Dawlish patrolling on his own?" I asked, wandering over to them.

"He's got a whole day's worth of patrolling to do. And Mark is patrolling tonight with me, so you can have the night off" he explained. However, this didn't make sense to me.

"If you've got to work later and I have the day and night off, shouldn't you be going to get some sleep? And shouldn't I stay here and wait for Dawlish?" I asked.

"Your a stubborn witch" he said. "But you need sleep Tonks, you haven't slept well in-" he stopped himself, looking guilty.

"How did you know that?".

"Because" came Mark's voice, "you thrash around in your sleep all the time, and you have bags under your eyes".

He was speaking the truth. I hadn't been sleeping well for a while now, a couple of weeks I guessed, as we'd just moved into June. I kept having nightmares, various friends and relatives being killed, me not being able to do anything. Bellatrix coming after me, that was a scary one. I had woke up after that particular dream in a cold sweat, tears pouring down my face. That one I knew the guys knew about, as Mark had been sitting on my bed, holding a candle. He had calmed me down and I had told him about the dream. Dreamless sleep potion was given in emergencies, and he had deemed it one.

"I won't be able to get to sleep even if I do go back. Go on Jacob, take Mark back and I'll wait for Dawlish" I said, decisively.

"Fine, but when Dawlish gets here, you go straight back to our flat or yours, and you rest. You look unhealthy Tonks" he said, hauling Mark to his feet, and wrapping an arm around him.

"Thanks" I muttered, turning away. I knew the reason I looked unhealthy, but I wasn't about to admit it out loud. I was pasty and thin, and more down than ever. Every waking moment caused me pain, and every bit of sleep that I managed to get caused me torment. More deaths had occurred, more torture, more dementors. The world was falling to pieces around me, and so was my life. Food had lost it's taste so I barely ate, and Dawlish had become unbearable. I was only convincing Jacob to go with Mark and let me handle Dawlish so that Mark could sober up, and spend some time with Jacob. They'd been so busy watching over me lately, though I hadn't asked them too.

They'd disappeared now, and I was on my own. The sun wouldn't rise for over an hour so I settled down next to the gate and lit my wand again, peering into the fading darkness. I was to meet Dawlish, then leave. Hopefully he wouldn't say anything to wind me up, because the way I was feeling at the moment... I sighed. I needed a shower and a nap. And probably a bite to eat as well, just to keep me going.

As I sat in the semi darkness, I let my mind drift to other things. Remus type things. I let my mind wander towards the kiss we'd shared. I let my eyes close as I tried to remember every feeling that had been poured into that kiss. I missed Remus, and my feelings had become, if possible, even deeper for him. I loved him with ever ounce of my existence, and it was slowly killing me. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on it. I really needed to stop, I needed to make myself better again. I knew it would upset Remus if he saw me like this, because of him. _But then again_, said another part of my brain, _maybe he deserves to see what he's doing. Maybe that will snap some sense into him_. But I didn't want Remus guilt tripped into this. No, I would have a shower, get some food, clean my flat up a bit (perhaps) and have a nap. A good sleep is what I need.

"Not sleeping on the job, are we, Nymphadora?" came a voice from above me. My eyes snapped open.

"It's Tonks to you" I snapped. "And no, I wasn't".

"Well, that surprises me, you look really tired" Dawlish sneered. "I guess trying to be a good Auror is taking its toll, not that you could ever achieve it of course. You and that jumped up Mudblood" he said, jerking his head back towards the village, "thinking your something special".

I stood up. "I am a good Auror, and he is not a Mudblood. Don't you dare call him that!" I snarled.

"I'll do what I like" he scoffed. "Freak sticking up for freak. Merlin Nymphadora, you make threats like some whinny little child all the time, well you are a child, crying in your sleep. Who's Remus, Nymphadora?" he asked.

"Nothing to do with you, goodbye" I said, walking away. I gripped my wand tightly, my blood was boiling but I wouldn't rise to it. I ran down the path just to get away from the irritating prick. What I really wanted to do was turn back and, forget my wand, I wanted to strangle him with my bare hands. But that's what he wants. He wanted it from either me or Mark, a reason to get us suspended, sacked if possible. I could just imagine his report if I gave in to my anger, and went for him. _"Nymphadora is both violent and unstable, and is in obvious need of mental help..."_

He had no business winding me up about Remus, or winding Mark up about being gay, which he had done quite alot. Jacob was certainly pissed off with Dawlish, and Mark had been close to tears on several occasions. He didn't care about being called a Mudblood, though Proudfoot and I did. Proudfoot had to be restrained a couple of days ago, but Dawlish hadn't seen, he had been walking away, thank Merlin.

I slowed down at the end of the lane, and caught my breath. I released some grip on my wand, and turned on the spot, focusing on my flat. I apparated straight into the tenth floor landing, at the opposite end of the hall to where my flat was. I'd taken down the wards in this particular spot so I could apparate up here, and no-one was any the wiser.

As predicted, my flat was not in great shape. There was a layer of dust, at least an inch thick on nearly every surface and there was no food in the flat what-so-ever. I sighed as I pulled out my wand and started cleaning up. This wasn't exactly how I wanted to spend the day, but it was nice to see my old flat again. I missed my bed, and my belongings and even my noisy neighbors from across the hall. I opened the curtains, and pushed open the windows to let some light and air in. After half an hour of cleaning, my flat looked better, and, after giving a shuddering yawn, I trudged towards my room. I didn't even remove my clothes before I collapsed onto the bed.

_Shouts and screams. People were shouting my name. Where was I? Why couldn't I see? I was knocked aside. More screams. A flash of green._

_"Tonks, can you hear me?" Of course I could, I wanted to say, but my mouth was clamped shut._

_There was another scream, and taunting words, something about dancing? No, Dying! Sobbing, choking, kicking, shaking. I tried to move but the room was spinning. Faster and faster. Darkness, pain, blood. Silence._

_"Your going to die" hissed a voice, as a face swam in front of my eyes._

I woke up screaming.

It took me several minutes to calm myself, control my breathing and wipe the tears from my eyes. I hated nightmares, and they all seemed to be about the same thing. Well, at least they're consistent, I thought bitterly. I rolled over and looked at the clock, which flashed 2.30pm at me. I groaned and looked down at my body. My clothes were crumpled and, ugh, what was that smell? Yep, just as I guessed, it was me.

I knew I would never be able to get back to sleep now, so I swung my legs around so they touched the floor and pulled myself upright, holding on the bedpost for support. I made my way clumsily to the bathroom and striped out of my dirty clothes while turning on the shower. It was scolding hot against my skin and seemed to wash away all thoughts of the nightmare. After washing all the grease out of my mousy hair, and scrubbing my body clean, I stopped the shower and got out, wrapping a big red towel around myself like a cocoon.

Around 3.00pm I could be found still wrapped in the big red towel, laying on the sofa, looking at a Chinese take-out menu with a dubious expression. It had been awhile since I had some good hot food, and this meant I didn't have to leave the flat. And I needed food, as my growling tummy constantly reminded me. I looked at the 'phone number' and frowned. I had a Muggle telephone somewhere, dad had brought me it and taught me how to use it but, I never had. I had shoved it away somewhere when I first got this flat, and that was years ago, so where the hell could it be?

I got up and searched for it, thinking that this was more effort than if I'd actually gone out to get the chinese myself. I looked under my bed, and in my wardrobe and in the airing cupboard. I was about to give up as I opened the kitchen cupboard, under the sink, and there it sat. It was plain white with a spiral cord connecting the phone to its stand. I took it out and looked at the wire coming from it, it had a white rectangle at the end. Where the hell did that go?

I was starting to regret this, and my stomach was growling worse than before. When I finally found the plug, I sighed in relief before dialing the number and ordering a carton of egg fried rice, and telling the lady my address. When I hung up I realized I was still in my towel, and so changed into underwear, purple tights, a black skirt and top and ran a brush through my hair so that I looked semi respectable as I opened the door to the Chinese man 20 minutes later.

Half way through my rice, I looked up absentmindedly and almost screamed in shock. In front of me stood a Phoenix patronus, waiting patiently for me. When it realized I was paying attention, its beak opened.

_Miss Nymphadora, and urgent matter has arose that I have to attend to, and so I request that you patrol Hogwarts from the inside tonight. Remus will collect you when it is time. Please respond. Albus Dumbledore._

I hastily dug out my wand and sent back my reply of _'Yes, of course'. _As I watched my wolf patronus bound away, I wondered what on earth I was needed in the castle for tonight, and what was so important that Dumbledore must leave so soon, with such short notice.

* * *

I don't know what time it was that the knock on my door sounded, but what I do know was that it had woke me up. I had fallen asleep just after finishing my dinner, and was laying half off the sofa. I groaned and rolled over, landing on the floor with a thump. I got up, groaning slightly at the pain in my back. Obviously, sleeping half off the sofa was not a good idea. I walked over to the door and pulled it open.

"Wotcher Remus" I said, suppressing a yawn. He looked up.

"Hello Nymphadora".

"Tonks" I said, "are we leaving now?".

"I'm a bit early actually, I had to climb you stairs. This building has anti-apparation spells on it" he commented.

"Yep, all apart from one spot" I said, pointing down the hall. "I made a small spot where I can apparate because I hate the stairs, and those 'elevator' things confuse me. Anyway, want to come in?".

"Thanks" he said, moving into the flat. I shut the door and walked over to the sofa, picking up my wand and putting it in my pocket, then tossing the rice carton into the kitchen bin. I could feel his eyes on me, but I determinedly looked anywhere but him, and started searching for my boots.

"Boots, boots, boots, where are-" I suddenly remembered. "Oh damn!".

"What is it?" Remus called from down the hall. I was hunting in my bedroom at that point.

"I left my boots in Hogsmead, in my room. I guess it doesn't matter" I said, coming out of the room feeling grumpy. "Hey, do you reckon I should tell my colleagues not to go on duty tonight? Cause we're inside, so would they really be needed? Although if I did tell them, and Dawlish overheard, and then Scrimgeour found out..."

"Tonks, your waffling" Remus said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "We've got time, we're not meant to start patrolling until after curfew, which is in 15 minutes. We can apparate to Hogsmead, you can go get your boots and tell your colleagues not to come on duty, and I can go to meet Bill in the castle. Then you can come meet us, ok?".

"Yeah, sorry, about the waffling. Bill's coming too? I didn't know".

"Dumbledore told me earlier, but I guess he forgot to mention it to you. Some of the staff will be patrolling too" he said.

"You've been with Dumbledore?" I asked, curiously.

"Yeah, me and Kingsley had a meeting with him today. So anyway, we should get going so you can get your boots" he said, smiling. I smiled back, and skipped towards the apparation spot. I smiled even wider when he took my hand and apparated us both to Hogsmead.

* * *

"Guys, I'm guarding Hogwarts from the inside tonight" I said, hastily as I pulled on my black boots. "Don't ask me why, I don't know. But that means you guys don't have to be there tonight" I explained, after lacing my boots up. Both Mark and Jacob were about to leave when I burst into the flat, having left Remus to walk up to the castle.

"What's going on?" asked Mark, grabbing my arm to slow me down.

"I don't know, but Dumbledore asked me to patrol tonight. Me, Remus, Bill and some of the staff. Look, you guys can have the night off, just make sure Dawlish doesn't find out" I said, hurriedly.

"Okay Tonks, we'll deal with him" said Jacob, calmly.

"Thanks".

"Yeah, we'll deal with him. It's obvious that you're in a hurry so you will have to explain fully later, okay? Now get going to the castle, twilight is passing and I do not want you on your own in the dark" said Mark, sounding like my mum, but I appreciated his concern.

"Ok, thanks guys, got to go" I said, and then I sprinted out of the house and up the street, towards the great castle.

* * *

We had been patrolling for about an hour. Occasionally we would glance at one another, and check certain hide-y holes, as well as secret passages out of the castle, just incase someone was trying to get in. So far, we'd found nothing. The silence was boring, and it gave me too much time to think.

"So, where are the Professors?" I asked, as we reached the fourth floor.

"I have no idea" replied Bill. "Don't you think its odd that Dumbledore just tell's us to come here, out of the blue?".

"Albus knows what he is doing, we must trust him" answered Remus.

"I do trust him" said Bill. "I'm just concerned".

"Come off it Bill, I'm sure Dumbledore just wanted us here as a precaution" I said, lightly, trying to act unconcerned. The fact was that nothing that Dumbledore did was ever precautionary.

"I guess your right. But I left Fleur with mum and dad..." he trailed off, smirking.

"Ah, so you've picked up on it?" I asked.

"What's this?" asked Remus.

"Molly and Arthur don't really approve of Fleur. Well, Arthur does, I think, its just Molly" I explained.

"Should I be worried?" Bill asked.

"I don't think so. Your a mummy's boy, her first born. No-one is ever going to be good enough" I answered.

"She has a point" said Remus.

"Yeah" he replied. The conversation stopped there.

We were now walking along the fifth floor corridor, coming up to the corner, when someone with fiery red hair came around it and smacked straight into me. We both landed on the floor, and I had the wind knocked out of me. I sat up quickly, clutching my sides and looked at the girl who had taken me down.

"Ginny!" I exclaimed.

"Tonks?" Ginny asked. "What are you doing here?".

"Could ask you the same question" said Bill, pulling his sister to her feet. I gripped the wall and hoisted myself up.

"We were-" started Ginny but just then two boys came into view, both were breathless and sweating. One boy doubled over trying to catch his breath, while the other boy, Ron, looked up at us startled.

"Malfoy, Deatheaters, in the castle. Harry told us to watch. They slipped passed us" he said, pointing in the direction they just came.

"What?" asked Remus. I was a little confused myself.

"Harry told us to keep watch tonight, he had a hunch. Malfoy threw something into the air when he spotted us, and everything went dark. We were forced to grope around in the darkness until we got to the end of the corridor. Sorry I smacked into you, by the way" said Ginny.

"Anyway, we heard Malfoy pass us, but others did too. There are deatheaters heading in the opposite direction. We didn't fire spells at them incase we hit one another in the dark. The corridor should be clear now though" explained Ron.

"Which way?" asked Bill.

"That way" said Ron, pointing behind him. "But I don't know where they went from there".

"The only way they can go. Up. That's the way to the Astronomy tower" I said, quietly. I looked behind me as I heard footsteps. "Minerva's coming". Professor Flitwick was walking behind her.

"Ok, we need to go now. Minerva, there are deatheaters in the castle. This way" said Remus taking charge, he ran ahead with Bill and Ron on his heels. I ran after them, and the rushing footsteps behind me told me that the others were running too. Within minutes we'd caught up with the deatheaters, who were almost at the stairs to the Astronomy tower. Bill sent a stunner straight at them, and they scattered. We gave chase.

It was like falling into one of my nightmares, only I was awake. It was dark, curses were flying everywhere. I suddenly found myself battling a woman I didn't recognize, but she sent so many different hexes and curses at me that I must have looked like I was doing some sort of puppet dance trying to avoid them, while sending my own back. I kept pressing forward, sending curse after curse at her, but she caught me and sent me skidding across the floor. I crashed into the solid castle wall and crumpled on the floor. I expected her to come and finish me off any second, so I gritted my teeth and pushed myself up off the floor to see.

Remus had stepped in dueling the woman, blocking me from her sight. Whilst I was on the floor, I looked around, noticing that the deatheaters seemed to be trying to move closer to the tower but we kept getting in there way, much to their fury and our delight. Everything was so dark, and a big blonde deatheater was sending off curses everywhere. I gasped as a killing curse shot straight at Remus who ducked just in time. I watched as the curse hit the wall behind him and was sent flying towards the staircase. A man, Gibbon, I believe his name was, got hit square in the face with it. I hadn't even realized that he'd gone up to the tower. I looked up the tower where he'd just come form, and gasped in shock. In the sky above the Tower was a green glittering skull, which made me shiver in fear.

A snarling noise came from beside me, snapping me out of my thoughts as I pulled myself up, ready to rejoin the fray. I turned suddenly and backed away in fright. Fenrir Greyback was leering at me. I looked at him and felt sick, his appearance was so much like a wolf that it scared me enough for me to forget the battle around me. His hair was gray and his nails yellow. He had cuts and scars like Remus had but his seemed somehow more sinister. His shoulders were hunched as he prowled towards me.

"Come here my pretty" he snarled, greasily, licking his lips. I shuddered at the hunger in his voice, but it gave me the strength to point my wand at him and fire a stunning spell. That's when the fight for my life began. He dodged spells as I threw them at him, and we both had to duck from the ones cast by the big blonde psychopath. He kept diving for me, driving me further down the corridor. I fought with all my might, slipping on bits of rubble that were only just beginning to break off the walls. He was backing me into a wall, and I fought harder than ever to sling him off, not wanting to think about what he might do if he got to me. And thats when he lunged at me. As he flew at me I saw bloodshot eyes and bared teeth and took my chance. I shot a stunning spell at him, which hit him square in the chest and he was propelled backward, skidding along the floor. I heard him growl as he got up, but before he could get at me again, Bill jumped out of nowhere and started dueling him.

I ran forward, desperate to help, but was forced to dive to the floor as the big blonde one sent a hex my way. I heard a terrible cry as I pulled myself up again and saw Bill near the stairs, being torn apart by Greyback. I screamed. Running forward I did the first thing that came to mind, I kicked Greyback hard in the ribs. He howled in pain, but didn't move. I pointed my wand at him, my mind searching furiously for a spell, while Bill's screams quieted. The Revulsion jinx! I quickly cast the spell and Greyback was blasted off him. Bill was silent, though the air was punctured with screams and curses.

Greyback turned to face me, Bill's blood dripping down his face. I didn't dare look at Bill's obviously mangled body, but I was so furious that nothing on earth could have made me run from this monster. Greyback was still on the floor so I ran over to where he was and kicked him hard in the face. I swear I thought I saw something white streak past me but the next minute I was knocked back, my head smacking on the bottom of the stairs. Greyback had overpowered me and was leering above me. Blood from his face dripped onto mine and I cried out, not in fear, not in panic, but in the sheer chance that someone would notice and save me, for my wand had been knocked out of my hand as Greyback dragged me down. And someone did.

Remus had dived at Greyback, pushing him off me. They went skidding across the floor, before they began wrestling each other. Greyback snapped and clawed at Remus, as he punched and kicked him back. Of course, Remus had nothing to lose, he was already a werewolf. Nothing Greyback did would effect him. I watched in horror as Remus was pinned to the ground, but Remus was too clever and used his wand to blast Greyback aside. Then someone rushed past me. I dived for my wand, and rolled over, trip jinxing the hooded deatheater, who was trying to make a getaway up the spiral staircase. I scrambled up while I had the advantage and began to duel the deatheater, but it was so dark that I could barely see him to aim. Hexes were flying everywhere, and each deatheater seemed willing to fight to the death.

I don't know how it happened, everything was so confusing, but two more deatheaters had joined me on the stairs, along with Greyback who had scrambled up ahead. Ron rushed forward the same time as Remus did and we sent all sorts of spells at them, trying to force them down, but they were forcing us down. Remus made one yell out in pain as he sent a full body bind at him, but all too soon the deatheater was freed by one of his fellows. In retaliation, the man Remus had hexed sent a trip jinx at him, but he was so unsteady on his feet that it missed Remus completely and hit me instead. I was sent flying backwards, rolling down the spiral staircase. I put my arms on my head to protect it, but there was no denying that it was one hell of a bumpy ride. I hit the bottom, removing my arms and wondering why the pain wasn't as bad as I had expected. Then Remus was there, pulling me up, his arms around my waist, as Ron was backing down from the stairs. He was unable to fight three deatheaters, and a Were- no sorry- complete and utter pyscho, at once. Neville ran over out of nowhere as the deatheaters ran up the stairs, and tried to follow but was flung back as one of the deatheaters turned and blocked the staircase with some sort of silvery wall. I looked on in horror as Ron pointed his wand at the staircase.

"They've blocked the stairs - Reducto! REDUCTO!"

Hexes flew everywhere, I could only just see Ginny ducking and diving, trying to fight the blonde one. A curse was sent straight at us and we all dived out of the way. Ron got up and aimed another spell at the wall, as did Remus, while I ran forwards the help Ginny. I was several feet away from Ginny as I ducked and dived against the onslaught of curses. I don't know how long we'd been there, how long we'd been fighting, but time had slipped by us. It had probably been hours, but caught up in the battle it seemed no time at all. I could no longer see anyone but Ginny and the blonde deatheater.

Then I saw Snape coming towards us, presumably to help us, but a killing curse got sent straight at me and I dived once again to the floor. I seemed to have spent a lot of this battle on the floor. I lost track of everything after that. I lay on the floor until a curse rebounded off of one of the walls and the barrier on the stairs was broken. I scrambled to my feet and ran forward with the others as Snape came down the stairs, dragging the Malfoy boy with him. We stepped aside as Snape seemed to be running from the deatheaters, and when the other deatheaters came down, we blocked their way. Ginny ran forwards and we were fighting again. I ran back at the blonde deatheater, taking Ginny's place and began hitting him with every curse I could think of. For a moment, I swore I heard Snape shout something, but surely I was mistaken. A curse hit my leg, causing my tights to rip open, and a large cut to form which began to bleed. I buckled slightly in pain, but kept fighting.

I could hear the others fighting behind me. I heard a weird giggle of 'Crucio - Crucio - you can't dance for ever, pretty' before there was a yell off 'Impedimenta' which had come from Harry. I saw him run past, but as I watched, the blonde deatheater fired off more curses, and I was battling again. I heard myself growling with anger, as someone behind me shouted something, but it was too unclear for me to make out.

And I couldn't have done anything to help anyone, because at that moment, cords sprang around my legs and I toppled over, face first, losing my wand (again) which rolled away into the dust and darkness. The blonde deatheater caused chaos above me, sending curses everywhere, bring down the walls and reducing them to rubble as I tried to get to my feet. Then, by some miracle, he was hit in the face with a hex that sent him howling, and running down the corridor after two fading figures.

People were screaming behind me, but the deatheaters had gone. I heard someone call for Harry, but soon there came silence. I rolled over and pulled myself up, before grabbing at the bonds and trying to force them off my legs. My blood stained hair stuck to my face as I looked down to undo the cords. My hands were shaking so violently that I could barely grab them.

"It's ok Tonks, stay still. I'll get them" whispered Remus, who had just ran over to me. He dropped to his knees and started untying the cords.

"I dropped my wand" I whispered, looking around me as if hoping it would jump up at me. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out my wand, before handing it to me, as he pulled off the last cord.

"I found it". He held out his hand and pulled me to my feet. I stood up and winced as my leg touched the floor. Looking around at the rubble and dust, at Neville lying on the floor, Ron and Ginny looking frantic. McGonagall standing beside them, her usually tight bun had come undone and was covered in dust. It was then that I noticed a mangled figure lying away from the battle. I suddenly remembered what had happened, and why.

"Bill" I screamed, running (and limping heavily, but I didn't care) over to him. The others turned to where I was running and soon they were all there. I kneeled down shaking him, he was still breathing, but only just. "My fault, Greyback was after me, it should have been me, he was only trying to help me. Greyback... shouldn't have let... Bill... my fault" I choked.

"No Tonks, not your fault" said Remus from above me. "Minerva go find Filius. We will conjured stretchers for Bill and Neville".

"Get to the hospital wing. And quickly" she replied, before I heard footsteps move away. Bill was suddenly on a stretcher, and I was being dragged to my feet. I looked over at Ginny who was putting my arm around her shoulder. Her face was cut and her lip was bleeding.

"You look awful Gin" I said, weakly.

"So do you" she replied. "But we can be fixed up". She gazed ahead. Remus and Ron were levitating Bill and Neville to the Hospital wing. We followed after them, both of us limping and coughing from the amount of dust that came up from the floor as we walked along the corridor. The corridor that had become a battle ground.

"He'll be ok, won't he?" asked Ginny quietly, looking at Bill. I didn't know how to answer. I couldn't say yes because I didn't know anything about werewolf bites. Greyback wasn't transformed at the time, so it was difficult. But I couldn't say no either, because there was always hope, and I wouldn't let Ginny hear the word 'no' just yet. So I decided to stay silent. We walked along the dark corridors in silence too, not knowing what to say. I took comfort in the fact that Ginny obviously didn't blame me.

"You were very brave, Gin" I whispered finally, as we neared the hospital wing. The guys had already gone in.

"So were you".

"It's my job. But you did it without thinking. You were brilliant" I whispered. She smiled and pushed open the hospital wing doors. Bill was being settled into a bed on the far end of the ward, while Madam Pomfrey was fussing around him. Remus was sitting in a chair beside the bed, and Ron was standing at the end of it, gazing down on his big brother. Ginny and me sped up so we could get to the bed. As we passed through the ward, I noticed Neville in a bed by the door. But my mind was on Bill, and Ginny's was too.

"Is he going to be ok?" she asked, as we reached the bed. The doors of the hospital wing opened and McGonagall walked in.

"Well he won't look the same anymore dear, I expect there's some contamination, though I'm not sure what the damage is until I clean him up" Madam Pomfrey answered, she seemed to be holding in tears.

"Filius is ok, bit shaken, but he insisted on going to see the Ravenclaws. I need to go contact Molly and Arthur" Minerva said, quickly. "And someone needs to fetch Harry, bring him up here, no exceptions. Miss Granger and Miss Lovegood are on their way here, they're just escorting Filius back to Ravenclaw tower". With that, she hurried away again.

"Who will get Harry?" asked Remus.

"Ginny can" I said, sharply. Everyone looked at me. "Ginny can fetch him, he won't argue with her, she can be rather persuasive" I said, nodding to her.

"Ok" she whispered, and she too set off down the wing, and through the doors.

I sat down next to Remus at the bed, and looked at his troubled face, as he watched Bill anxiously. I put my hand on his arm and his face jerked round. He looked at me for a moment before pulling his arm through my fingers and gripping my hand instead. I squeezed his hand reassuringly as Madam Pomfrey came over with a bottle of sickly smelling ointment. She began to dab it on Bill's face and chest. His body was perfectly mangled, he was barely recognizable. I watched for a while before pulling my hand out of Remus's and rubbing my leg. The cut had stopped bleeding now, but it stung. Still, it wasn't even close to as bad as Bill's wounds. Why did he have to suffer, why couldn't it have been me? Stupid Griffindor, chivalrous and courageous, throwing themselves I dangers path. And Remus was no better. He had dived at Greyback too.

The Hospital Wing doors opened again, and in ran Hermione and Luna. Luna went over to Neville first while Hermione rushed down the wing and jumped at Ron, hugging him tightly.

I felt a wand pointing at my leg and looked down, noticing for the first time that Remus was fixing my leg. The wound was almost healed, and the blood was gone. I put my hand on his cheek and he looked up. Luna came over, announcing Neville was fine, before saying sorry to Ron about Bill.

"McGonagall told us what happened" whispered Hermione. "I'm sorry Ron".

"It's ok" he answered. "Well, it's not..." he trailed off. Hermione hugged him again.

"Thank you" I whispered to Remus, who nodded and brushed my leg with his hand, before turning back to Bill. We all turned back to Bill, watching him anxiously.

All was quiet, until the hospital wing doors opened again...

**This was originally gunna be at the top, but I didn't want to spoil the chapter for you: **

**PLEASE READ THIS: Ok, so I don't much like this chapter. It was really really hard to write, so please forgive me! Please don't diss this chapter, it was extremely hard to write, by far the most challenging chapter ever. I would really appreciate some words of support and encouragement, especially since I have lots of doubts about this chapter. The battle was written a bit like a monologue I guess, but it has lots of my own ideas in it. It's kinda choppy and changy and maybe a lil confusing, because that's how I felt a battle would feel. Confusing, and only the really important bits stick out. Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews last chapter, I was overwhelmed. Would love some more again?**

**End Note: Next chapter will carry on from here, promise! And I no this was kinda bad, and I had no beta, but I used spell checker this time (:D) and I tried my best so please don't put me down. Please. And review please, something to cheer me up and spur me into starting the next chapter would be really nice as i'm really unhappy with this one.**


	46. Aftermath Part 1

**Okaii the chapter you've all been waiting for... won't keep you too long. Spelling mistakes may be due to the fact that writing from the book by lava lamp really late at night is not so easily done. Anyway, enjoy the chapter. See you guys at the bottom.**

Aftermath Part 1

At the sound of the hospital wing doors opening, we all looked up to see Harry and Ginny entering the ward. Hermione ran and hugged Harry while Remus got up from his chair, and moved towards Harry looking anxious.

"Are you alright, Harry?" he asked.

"I'm fine... how's Bill?" Harry replied, but none of us answered. I don't think any of us knew what to say. I looked back at Bill who was having ointment dabbed more vigorously into his wounds.

"Can't you just fix them with a charm or something?" asked Harry, coming closer and staring at Poppy. She looked up and frowned.

"No charm will work on these" she said. "I've tried everything I know, but there is no cure for werewolf bites".

"But he wasn't bitten at full moon" said Ron. I looked at Ron who was still standing at the end of the bed, gazing down at Bill. "Greyback hadn't transformed, so surely Bill won't be a - a real?" he looked uncertainly at Remus, and I followed his gaze, noticing that Remus looked upset and thoughtful.

"No, I don't think that Bill will be a true werewolf" he said, "but that doesn't mean that there won't be some contamination. Those are cursed wounds. They are unlikely ever to heal fully, and - and Bill might have some wolfish characteristics from now on".

"Dumbledore might know something that'd work though" said Ron, almost stubbornly. "Where is he? Bill fought those maniacs on Dumbledore's orders, Dumbledore owes him, he can't leave him in this state-".

"Ron - Dumbledore's dead" said Ginny.

"No!" said Remus, looking from Ginny to Harry. I hoped that Harry would turn around and say Ginny was lying, or that she was mistaken, but there grave faces were enough. I felt my heart drop at the sheer weight of it. Dumbledore - dead? Impossible. Remus collapsed into the chair beside mine with his face in his hands. He'd lost control, and I didn't blame him. Dumbledore, wise old jolly Dumbledore - dead? How?

"How did he die?" I whispered, as soon as the question came into my mind. "How did it happen?".

"Snape killed him" Harry said. My hand clapped over my mouth in shock. Remus's head shot up from out of his hand and the other turned to look at him, horror and disbelief written all over their faces. "I was there, I saw it. We arrived back on the Astronomy tower because that's where the mark was... Dumbledore was ill, he was weak, but I think he realised it was a trap when we heard footsteps running up the stairs. He immobilised me, I couldn't do anything, I was under the invisibility cloak - and then Malfoy came through the door and disarmed him-".

Ron groaned, and Hermione slapped her hand over her mouth. The Luna girl's lips trembled, as Harry continued.

"- more deatheaters arrived - and then Snape - and Snape did it. The Avada Kedavra". Madam Pomfrey burst into tears.

"Shh! Listen" whispered Ginny. Out on the grounds somewhere, Dumbledore's Phoenix was singing a mournful lament. It was terribly beautiful and seemed to take everyones grief and turn it into song. The song echoed across the grounds, and I hung my head, listening intently to the beautiful music that made tears run from my eyes. I wiped them away, feeling slightly comforted by the music. How long we all stood there, and sat in mine and Remus's case, I did not know. But soon the doors opened and Minerva walked in. I noticed for the first time how ripped her robes were, and how worn she looked.

"Molly and Arthur are on their way" she said, and the spell of the music was broken. I rubbed my eyes gently, brushing away the moisture and sighing. "Harry, what happened? According to Hagrid you were with Professor Dumbledore when he - when it happened. He says Professor Snape was involved some-".

"Snape killed Dumbledore" said Harry. Minerva stood there for a moment, presumably in shock, before swaying alarmingly. Madam Pomfrey pulled herself together, and ran over to Minerva, conjuring a chair and sliding it under her. Minerva sank into it.

"Snape" she repeated, faintly. "We all wondered... but he trusted... always... Snape... I can't believe it...".

"Snape was a highly accomplished occlumens" Remus said, his voice uncharacteristically harsh. "We always knew that".

"But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!" I put in. "I always thought he must know something about Snape that we didn't...".

"He always hinted that he had an iron-clad reason for trusting Snape" muttered Minerva, dabbing the corners of her eyes with a tartan handkerchief. I wondered what lie Snape had told to convince Dumbledore. It seemed impossible that Dumbledore would be hood winked. Minerva continued. "I mean... with his history... of course people were bound to wonder... but Dumbledore told me explicitly that Snape's repentance was absolutely genuine... wouldn't hear a word against him!".

"I'd love to know what Snape told him to convince him" I said, bitterly. In my head, I couldn't understand it. I was furious with Snape.

"I know" said Harry, suddenly. We all turned to stare at him, each of us wondering the same thing. "Snape passed Voldemort the information that made Voldemort hunt down my mum and dad. the Snape told Dumbledore he hadn't realised what he was doing, he was really sorry he'd done it, sorry they were dead".

"And Dumbledore believed that" said Remus, incredulously. Anger and disbelief etched in every line on his face. "Dumbledore believed Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape hated James..." he looked beyond angry now.

"And he didn't think my mother was worth a damn, either" said harry, "because she was a muggle-born... "mudblood" he called her...". Nobody asked how he knew this, everyone was in too much shock to care how he knew this. Remus looked thunderous, though still sad as he digested the truth. I was having trouble believing it myself. How could such a blatant lie be excepted for truth by Dumbledore, the greatest wizard that ever lived. _Lived_. I had to suppress a sob.

"This is all my fault" said Minerva suddenly. She looked slight disorientated, a bit disconnected. She kept ringing her wet handkerchief in her hands, and I had the urge to lean over and take it from her. "My fault. I sent Filius to fetch Snape tonight," I didn't know that "I actually sent for him to come and help us! If I hadn't alerted Snape to what was going on, he might never have joined forces with the deatheaters. I don't think he knew they were there before Filius told him, I don't think he knew

they were coming".

"It wasn't your fault Minerva" said Remus, firmly. "We all wanted more help, we were glad to think Snape was on his way...".

"So when he arrived at the fight, he joined in on the deatheaters side?" asked Harry, almost eagerly.

"I don't know exactly how it happened" said Minerva, distractedly. "It's all so confusing... Dumbledore had told us that he would be leaving the school for a few hours and were were to patrol the corridors just in case... Remus, Bill and Nymphadora were to join us... and so we patrolled. All seemed quiet. Every secret passageway out of the school was covered. We knew nobody could fly in. There were very powerful enchantments on every entrance into the castle. I still don't know how the Deatheaters can possibly have entered...".

"I do" said Harry. He explained quickly about a pair of vanishing cabinets, one of which was hidden in the Room of Requirement. I had to admit that it was clever. "So they got in through the Room of Requirement". Harry looked at Hermione and Ron, but struggled as if he was trying not to. And I don't blame him, they both looked devastated.

"I messed up, Harry" said Ron, bleakly. "We did like you told us: we checked the Maurander's Map and we couldn't see Malfoy on it, so we thought he must be in the Room of Requirement, so me, Ginny and Neville went to keep watch on it... but Malfoy got past us".

"He came out of the Room about an hour after we started keeping watch" said Ginny. "He was on his own, clutching that awful shrivelled arm-".

"His Hand of Glory" explained Ron. "Gives light only to the holder, remember?".

"Anyway" continued Ginny, and I listened intently. I hadn't heard any of this. "He must have been checking whether the coast was clear to let the Deatheaters out, because the moment he spotted us he threw something into the air and it all went pitch black-".

"-Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder" said Ron, bitterly. "Fred and Georges'. I'm going to be having a word with them about who they let buy their products".

"We tried everything - Lumos, Incendio" said Ginny. "Nothing would penetrate the darkness; all we could do was grope our way out of the corridor again, and meanwhile we could hear people rushing past us. Obviously Malfoy could see because of that hand thing and was guiding them, but we didn't dare use any curses or anything in case we hit eachother, and by the time we'd reached the corridor that was light, they'd gone".

"Luckily" said Remus, his voice slightly hoarse. "Ron, Ginny and Neville ran into us almost immediately and told us what had happened. We found the deatheaters minutes later, heading in the direction of the Astronomy Tower. Malfoy obviously hadn't expected more people to be on watch; he seemed to have exhausted his supply of Darkness Powder, at any rate. A fight broke out, they scattered and we gave chase. One of them, Gibbon, broke away and headed up the Tower stairs-".

"To set off the Mark?" asked Harry, quickly. As he said this, I realised it myself. Gibbon must have set off the Mark but I hadn't seen him go up, just come back down.

"He must have done, yes, they must have arranged that before they left the Room of Requirement" said Remus. "But I don't think Gibbon liked the idea of waiting up there alone for Dumbledore, because he came running back downstairs to rejoin the fight and was hit by a Killing Curse that just missed me".

"So if Ron was watching the Room of Requirement with Ginny and Neville" said Harry, turning to Hermione "were you-?".

"Outside Snapes's office, yes" whispered Hermione, her eyes sparkling with tears. I hadn't realised that that's where they'd been. In fact, I hadn't been sure as to why they were here until now. "With Luna. We hung around for ages outside it and nothing happened... we didn't know what was going on upstairs, Ron had taken the Mauranders Map... it was nearly midnight when Professor Flitwick came sprinting down into the dungeons. He was shouting about deatheaters in the castle, I don't think he really registered that Luna and I were there at all, he just burst straight into Snape's office and we heard saying that Snape had to go back with him and help and then we heard a loud thump and Snape came hurtling out of his room and he saw us and - and -".

"What?" Harry urged her. I was eager to know myself.

"I was so stupid, Harry" said Hermione in a high pitched whisper. "He said Professor Flitwick had collapsed and that we should go take care of him while he - while he went to help fight the deatheaters-". She covered her face in her fingers, so that her voice was now muffled.

"We went into his office to see if we could help Professor Flitwick and found him unconscious on the floor... and, oh, it's so obvious now, Snape must have Stupefied Flitwick, but we didn't realise, Harry, we didn't realise, we just let Snape go!".

"It's not you fault" said Remus, for the third time tonight. "Hermione, had you not obeyed Snape and got out of the way, he would probably have killed you and Luna".

"So then he came upstairs and he found the place where you were fighting...".

"We were in trouble, we were losing" I said, my voice low. "Gibbon was down, but the rest of the Death Eaters seemed ready to fight to the death. Neville had been hurt, Bill had been savaged by Greyback... it was all dark... curses flying everywhere... the Malfoy boy had vanished, he must have slipped past, up the stairs to the Tower... then more of them ran after him, but one of them blocked the stairs behind them with some kind of curse... Neville ran at it and got thrown up into the air" I explained. Ron continued for me.

"None of us could break through" he said, "and that massive Death eater was still firing off jinxes all over the place, they were bouncing off the walls and barely missing us..."

"And then Snape was there" I said, "and then he wasn't -".

"I saw him running towards us, but that large Death Eater's jinx just missed me right afterwards and I ducked and lost track of things" finished Ginny.

"I saw him run through the cursed barrier as though it wasn't there" said Remus. "I tried to follow him but was thrown back just like Neville...".

"He must have known a spell we didn't" whispered Minerva. "After all - he was the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher... I just assumed that he was in a hurry to chase after the Death eaters who'd escaped up to the tower...".

"He was" said Harry, savagely, "but to help them, not to stop them... and I'll bet you had to have the Dark Mark to get through that barrier - so what happened when he came back down?".

"Well, the big Death Eater had just fired off a curse that caused half the ceiling to fall in, and also broke the curse blocking the stairs" said Remus. I watched it in my mind, replaying the battle as it was told. "We all ran forwards - those of us who were still standing, anyway - and then Snape and the boy emerged out of the dust - obviously, none of us attacked them-"

"We just let the pass" I cut in, my voice sounding hollow. "we thought they were being chased by the Death Eaters - and the next thing, the other Death Eaters and Greyback were back and we were fighting again - I thought I heard Snape shout something, but I don't know what-"

"He shouted "It's over,"" said Harry. "he'd done what he meant to do".

We all fell silent. I looked over at Remus, who, noticing I was looking, looked up at me. The light in him was gone, I saw fury and hatred in his eyes though I knew it wasn't directed at me. I turned away, watching the kids huddled together and Minerva sobbing silently. Madam Pomfrey moved back to Bill and began working, once again, on his wounds. They looked like they were getting worse, not better. I wondered what was going to happen now, to Hogwarts, to these kids, to Dumbledore's body, to me. I sunk lower in my chair, thinking so many questions.

The doors of the hospital wing burst open, making us all jump: Molly and Arthur were striding up the ward, Fleur just behind them, her beautiful face twisted into one of horror.

"Molly - Arthur -" said Minerva, jumping up and hurrying over to them. "I am so sorry-".

"Bill" whispered Molly, darting past her, and catching sight of Bill's mangled face. "Oh, Bill!". Me and Remus both jumped up and moved back so that Arthur and Molly could get closer to the bed. Fleur had gone around the other side of the bed, and was gazing down at Bill. I watched as Molly bent down and kissed Bill's bloody forehead.

"You said Greyback attacked him?" asked Arthur, distractedly. "But he hadn't transformed? So what does that mean? What will happen to Bill?".

"We don't know yet" said Minerva, looking helplessly at Remus. I looked up at him and recognised the look on his face. He was trying to keep calm and professional, when really he was tearing himself apart inside.

"There will probably be some contamination, Arthur" he said. "It is an odd case, possibly unique... we don't know what his behaviour might be like when he wakes up..." Remus gulped and looked away. I saw the pain in his eyes, and felt helpless.

Molly took the ointment off of Madam Pomfrey and began dabbing Bill's wounds. "And Dumbledore... Minerva, is it true... is he really...?". Minerva nodded, and I turned my head to look at her, but caught sight of Ginny standing next to Harry. I saw her glaring at something and followed her gaze. My eyes rested on Fleur.

"Dumbledore gone" whispered Molly, but she only had eyes for Bill. She began to sob over him, her tears falling on his face. "Of course, it doesn't matter how he looks... it's not r-really important... but he was a very handsome litlle b-boy... always very handsome... and he was g-going to be married!"

"And what do you mean by zat?" snapped Fleur loudly, glaring dangerously at Molly. I knew Fleur had hated the way Molly treated her, and the way she was looking at her now, I suspected things would come to blows. I had expected it to happen earlier than this. "What do you mean, 'e was going to be married?".

Molly looked up at her, startled. "Well - only that -"

"You Theenk Bill will not wish to marry me any more?" Fleur demanded. "You theenk, because of these bites, he will not love me?". _Because of these bites..._

"No, that's not what I -".

"Because 'e will!" said Fleur, drawing herself up to full height and tossing back her silvery blonde hair. "It would take more zan a werewolf to stop Bill loving me". _More than a werewolf... _her words were echoing over and over in my head, like an annoying child who wouldn't stop poking me.

"Well yes, I'm sure" said Molly, "but I thought perhaps - given how - how he -". I couldn't believe it, I loved Molly, really I did, but that was low, and apparently Fleur thought so too.

"You thought I would not weesh to marry him? Or perhaps, you 'oped?" said Fleur, her nostrils flaring. "What so I care how 'e looks? I am good-looking enough for both of us, I theenk! All these scars show is zat my husband is brave! And I shall do zat!" she said, snatching the bottle of ointment away from Molly. Molly sank back into Arthur. I was waiting for an explosion, but my mind was reeling. Fleur was prepared to love Bill even though he was bitten, so why should Remus push me away.

"Our Great Aunt Muriel" said Molly after a long pause, "has a very beautiful tiara - goblin made - which I am sure I could presuade her to lend to you for the wedding. She is very fond of Bill, you know, and it would look lovely in your hair".

"Thank you" said Fleur, though I barely heard her, I was quickly zoning out due to the many thoughts rushing through my head. "I am sure zat will be lovely". And then, I didn't know how it happened, but both women were suddenly crying and hugging eachother, but I couldn't bring myself to be concerned. My brain was going crazy shouting at me to do something, to make Remus see, use this as an example, hadn't tonight proved that anything could happen. Then my brain exploded and I turned to glare at Remus.

"You see!" I said, my voice more strained than I had intended. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care". Wait, did I say marry? Well, I would marry him if I could, in a heartbeat, but still, it startled me slightly that I'd said it.

"It's different" said Remus. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely -"

"But I don't care either, I don't care" I shouted, my hands found Remus's robes and started shaking them, as if trying to shake some sense into him. "I've told you a million times..."

"And I've told you a million times" he said, not looking at me, but at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor... too dangerous...". Same old excuses everytime. Why did he have to do this to me, after everything. I realised that I was in fact shouting our private business in front of the kids, but I couldn't be bothered to care.

"I've said all along you're taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus" said Molly over Fleur's shoulder. _Thank you, Molly! _I whooped in my head.

"I am not being ridiculous". _Yes you are, hunny_. "Tonks deserves somebody young and whole". _Am I no longer in the room?_

"But she wants you" said Arthur with a small smile. "And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so". I saw him look sadly at his son, but I turned back to Remus, my hands still clutching his robes. He was looking anywhere but me.

"This is... not the moment to discuss it" he said, not meeting anyones eyes, though most were trying to catch his. "Dumbledore is dead..."

"Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world" said Minerva curtly, as the hospital wing doors opened again. Hagrid walked, his face swollen and soaking. I watched as he came down the ward, and let my hands slide from Remus's robes. I turned my back on him.

"I've... I've done it Professor" he choked. "M - moved him. Professor Sprout's got the kids back in bed. Professor Flitwick's lyin' down but he says he'll be all right in a jiffy, an' Professor Slughorn says the Ministry's been informed". If at all possible, I felt myself pale. The Ministry would be coming here, they would see I was here. But surely they wouldn't do anything, there not that heartless. Oh yes, they are!

"Thank you, Hagrid" said Minerva, standing up and looking at us. "I shall have to see the Ministry when they get here. Hagrid, please can you tell the Heads of House - Slughorn can represent Slytherin - that I want to see them in my office forthwith. I would like you to join us, too". Hagrid nodded and left. I wanted to cry, but I would not. Not here. I carried on listening to what Minerva was saying, trying to block out my feelings.

"Before I meet them I would like a quick word with you, Harry. If you'll come with me..". Both Harry and Minerva left the ward quickly. Everything was silent in the ward for a minute, and I went over to the window by Bill's bed and opened it, leaning an arm on the frame beneath it and resting my chin on top. I listened to the Phoenix, out on the grounds, still singing it's mournful lament.

"What will happen now?" I heard Ginny asked.

"Hogwarts will, probably, be closed. The governors will be informed, and they will, most likely, come to the conclusion that Hogwarts is not safe for re-opening" Remus answered.

"But, but -" I heard Hermione stutter, so I stepped in.

"You have to look at it from there point of view" I said, softly, not turning around. "The death of Dumbledore, the greatest headmaster Hogwarts has ever seen, is enough, but being murdered in the castle by someone who was supposed to be a colleague and friend? It's a terrible stain on Hogwarts history. And you were all involved in the battle. You could have died as well. If not the governors, then the Ministry will shut down Hogwarts". I made it sound like some under performing hair salon.

"The Ministry will no doubt stick there noses in here. Like they really care" tutted Molly. I turned away from the window to look at her.

"I'm from the Ministry, and I care" I said, slowly.

"I didn't mean you, Tonks" she said looking embarassed, and I tried to smile but my mouth wouldn't move.

"I know, Molly, sorry" I replied, before moving back to the window. I looked out onto the grounds, into the dark, wondering what had happened. Really happened. When I was with Mark and Jacob this morning, I never expected this. When I woke up earlier, I never expected to be dragged into a battle in the middle of Hogwarts. I never imagined that Dumbledore would die, that Bill would get savaged, that Hogwarts would face the decision of closure. I heard the others talking behind me, but I blocked them out.

"Maybe you should get to bed now, there's nothing more you can do. Go rest, we'll see you later" said Arthur from behind me. I turned my head to watch them. Ron and Hermione were standing close together, while Ginny was looking at the door, biting her lip. Luna had drifted off over to Neville and Fleur was sitting on Bill's bed dabbing his wounds with the ointment. Molly stood right beside her, occasionally talking to her, but they seemed more comfortable with silence. Arthur was standing around my side of the bed, next to Remus, who looked as if he hadn't moved at all.

"Why? I want to stay here with Bill" said Ron.

"Harry needs his friends right now Ron" said Remus. "We'll watch over Bill, and you can come and see him later".

"He's right Ron" whispered Hermione, "we can come back later, but we need to go".

"What about Luna?" asked Ginny, looking over at her friend. Luna was currently stroking the hair out of Neville's face with a curious expression on her face.

"Does she have anyone in Ravenclaw?" I only knew she was in Ravenclaw because of the blue tie. "Someone who can help her through what's happened tonight?" I said, softly.

"I don't think so" said Ginny. "No, she doesn't".

"Then maybe she can stay here, or you can take her with you to Griffindor Tower. She shouldn't be alone" I whispered.

"Yeah, I'll take her. Our dorm has a spare bed" said Ginny, decisively. "Night all" she whispered before turning away and walking over to Luna. After a brief conversation, they both left together.

"I'll see you later then" said Ron, smiling grimly at us all, before taking Hermione's hand and walking out of the ward.

"Night" Hermione muttered as she was dragged away.

"Zey fought so well tonight, but zey are so young" said Fleur once all the kids had left.

"They were incredibly brave, especially Ron and Ginny. You should be very proud" said Remus, looking at all three of them.

"We are, very proud" said Molly. "I just hate when they get dragged into this. I know that they wouldn't have it any other way though, they are very tough".

"I have a feeling their going to be dragged into this even more now" I whispered, sadly. "What with Dumbledore gone, I just think - thing's are going to get worse. Worse than they are now" I stopped. I was scared, really scared.

"Don't worry Tonks, we'll all come through this" whispered Remus. I looked up at him and our eyes connected for a second before he turned back to look at Bill. "He is very lucky".

"Remus, what do you think will happen to him? I know you wouldn't want to say much in front of the children, but - if it's alright with you, could you tell us" asked Molly, timidly. I looked to see that Madam Pomfrey had come back and was looking curiously at Remus. He looked uncomfortable.

"His scars will never fully heal, they are cursed wounds so no magic can every repair them properly. It's a bit like if you get hit by dark magic, it can never really be prepared. Ummm, I'm positive that he will not be a true werewolf, but he may have certain characteristics of a wolf like, for example, his food choices, or he may gain strength from it" Remus said, uncomfortably.

"What do you mean, gain strength?" asked Fleur, softly.

"Well, werewolves have to be incredibly strong. For example, I may not look like it but if you punched me in the face, I wouldn't feel it as bad as normal humans would".

"Ooh, can I give it a try" I quipped.

"No" he said, firmly, though I saw him smirk.

"Damn" I repeated.

"I am sorry, Remus, zat we are talking about this when you have to deal with it yourself" said Fleur, sincerely. I silently agreed with her.

"Oh Merlin, I'm sorry Remus. I didn't think" said Molly.

"It's quite understandable Molly. You looking out for your son" Remus said. "He will not be as dangerous as I am, rest assured".

"Your not dangerous" I muttered.

"Tonks, don't start" he whispered.

"Why not? Why shouldn't I?" I snarled, stepping forward with my hands on my hips. Remus opened his mouth to answer, but just then the hospital wing doors opened and I turned my attention to them, jumping slightly. I saw Mark standing in the door way, looking nervous and running a hand through his shaggy hair. He walked awkwardly down the ward, and I turned away from Remus walking quickly over to my friend. He was almost at the bed when I reached him.

"Hey Tonks" Mark said, quietly. "Ummm, the Minister wants to see you".

"Oh" I said. "Why?".

"Why'd ya think?" he replied. "Look, stupid question but, are you alright? What happened to night and - OMG what happened to him?" Mark gasped, spotting Bill. "That's Bill Weasley, right?" he asked me, I nodded.

"You know him?" asked Molly.

"He was in my year at school, and house. I had several classes with him, though I barely spoke to him" said Mark, somewhat awkwardly. I knew by Mark's body language that he hadn't been friends with Bill. "What happened?".

"He was attacked, by Greyback. Didn't you know?" I asked, confused.

"No, we haven't been told anything. The Minister and some of his lot are in with McGonagall, the rest of us are hanging around. We're not allowed to leave, but we're not allowed to know much either. Listen Tonks, your going to have to come with me, Scrimgeour wants to talk to us" Mark said, and suddenly I understood.

"He thinks it's our fault doesn't he? Doesn't he Mark?" I urged.

"Thinks what's your fault?" asked Remus, suddenly. I turned to face him.

"He thinks that it's our fault, the aurors fault. If we'd been doing our jobs better this wouldn't of happened, or something along those lines, right?" I asked turning back to Mark, who nodded.

"But that's preposterous!" said Arthur.

"Scrimgeour already has it in for Tonks, God only knows why!" said Mark. "So come on, we better -". But just then the doors opened again, and in walked Jacob and Dawlish. I groaned as I saw the smug look on Dawlish's face. I turned back to the others and mouthed 'sorry' before turning back again.

"Hello Tonks" said Jacob, sadly. "I guess Mark told you".

"Yep, you got to go too?" I asked.

"Yeah, me, you and Mark" he replied.

"What about Dawlish?" I asked, confused. Why didn't he have to go?

"Well, you see Tonks" Oh, here we go, "the Minister has always thought highly of me as a high ranking Auror, and has seen fit to grant me immunity. You see, I, unlike some, take care and pride in my work and I'm-"

"A poncy arsed git?" Mark suggested, butting in.

"What would you know, Mudblood" he snarled.

"Don't call him that!" snapped Jacob, furiously. I became aware that the others in the room were watching us with horror and confusion. Yes, this was not the way Auror's were supposed to act, but tempers were high and they'd been at breaking point for months. "Just cause he can wave his wand without dropping it".

"Oh, I bet he's been waving his wand an awful lot around you" Dawlish replied, his voice stinking of malice.

"Stop this now! Seriously, this isn't the time for this" I said, jumping between Jacob and Dawlish, putting my hands out to literally push them apart, as Jacob looked as if he was about to throttle Dawlish. "People in this hospital have gone through terrible things tonight, Dumbledore is dead! Have some respect".

"Why should I? He was just a stupid old fool". And with that comment I snapped. Before I knew what was happening, I drew back my arm and with more accuracy and strength than I knew I had, I right hooked him in the jaw. But I wasn't the only one who'd reacted, I was just the quickest. Dawlish stumbled backwards, whilst Poppy, Fleur and Molly looked on in shock, Mark looked on in glee, and Arthur, Jacob and Remus had moved forward looking murderous.

"You can insult me, and Mark, but you do not insult people who are no longer here to defend themselves! You got that, you bastard" I snapped.

"Stupid bitch" he shouted, dabbing his jaw with his sleeve. It was bleeding. I silently whooped! "I'll have you for this" he said, walking backwards. I jumped forward, but two pairs of hands grabbed my arms and held me back. Dawlish sprinted from the hospital wing.

"Leave it Tonks, he's not worth it" said Remus, dropping his hands from my arms once Dawlish had left the room.

"He had it coming, he knew it was coming, he's been goading us for months" said Mark, before turning to the Weasley's and Remus. "I'm really sorry you had to see that, I just want to assure you that we're not all like Dawlish. And I hope you don't hold it against Tonks, it could have been anyone of us" he explained.

"Of course we don't hold it against you!" Molly said, rushing forward and hugging me.

"Look Tonks, we need to go now. Dawlish is probably half way there by now, and this doesn't look good. He could get you suspended for this, and thats what he wanted" said Jacob. I pulled back from Molly.

"I'll come and see you as soon as I can" I said, before looking around. I looked at Remus, my heart aching, but I said nothing. After that display, how could he even bare to be near me? I felt ashamed but also, as if I'd had a weight lifted. And if I was going to get suspended, at least it was for something worthwhile.

And so I left the hospital wing, Mark and Jacob following me out. I held back the tears that began to form at the thought of losing everything. I couldn't bare to even look at myself. What had I done to my life?

_To Be Continued..._

**Oh, I am so evil aren't I... I can tell that you guys just wanna punch me right now... But anyway leave me a review, even if it is to say how much you hate me for the cliffy. Oh, gurugirl is showing her evil side, the Millie side of me is scared. Anyway, see ya soon. (Really soon, promise).**


	47. Aftermath Part 2

**Okay, read this chapter, then answer this question: Should I change the rating of my story to M just to be on the safe side? This is Un-beta'd and may be painful to read, you have been warned!  
**

Aftermath part 2

"Tonks? Tonks? Hello, anybody in there?".

"What?" I said, snapping out of my thoughts. Mark was walking on my right, clicking his fingers in front of my face.

"You zoned out Tonks" he explained. "Listen, what happened tonight? Can you please tell us, I mean, is Dumbledore really..." he stopped.

"Yes Mark he is" I sighed. "He was killed by Severus Snape on top of the Astronomy Tower".

"What, Snape- no, Snape? No way, that can't be right" said Mark. Mark who always sees the good in everyone, Mark who was shaking his head in disbelief.

"It's true. Harry was there. He saw it happen" I whispered. We were walking through the silent corridors, all three of us wrapped in our thoughts. I straightened up as I walked, holding my head high and trying to be brave. To be confident in myself, and conduct myself the way a Auror should. I would need to keep my head while I was with Scrimgeour, it wouldn't do any good if I thumped him too.

"People, always suspected him. Nobody but Dumbledore ever trusted him, did they? But then again, Dumbledore saw the good in everybody, just like Mark does. Obviously he was wrong to trust Snape, but I still can't quite believe it" said Jacob.

"Neither can I, but I believe Harry. And it all fits, I saw Snape myself. Harry has no reason to lie" I said, glaring at Jacob.

"I never said he was lying Tonks. I believe the boy, it's just going to be hard for everyone to get their heads around it" said Jacob. "Tonks, what happened to you up there tonight?".

I explained briefly how Ron, Ginny and Neville had told us where the Deatheaters were. I told them about Gibbon, and about Greyback coming after me and savaging Bill. I told them about the block on the staircase and the blonde Deatheater sending curses all over the place. I told them about how Snape was there, and then he wasn't, then he was back again with the Malfoy boy.

"So Malfoy's son was involved?" asked Jacob, as we neared the statue to Dumbledore's office. Wait, why were we here?

"Yes, he let the Deatheaters in. Harry explained that they got in through the Room of Requirement, using a Vanishing Cabinet" I explained. "Why at we at Dumbledore's office?".

"Because it's McGonagall's now" said Mark. "She was deputy head, but now she's the Headmistress of Hogwarts. If there's even going to be a Hogwarts anymore. But come on, we better get up there" said Mark. I followed Mark up, and Jacob followed behind me. I wondered briefly why we hadn't had to say a password, but figured that so many people would be coming and going this morning, that telling everyone the password would be too much work. Mark rapped on the door sharply.

"Enter" came a curt voice from inside.

Everyone in the room looked at us as we entered the room, Jacob shut the door behind us. I saw Minerva standing behind Dumbledore's desk and Scrimgeour in front of it. Dawlish was standing right beside him, looking thunderous, and Percy Weasley was standing smartly on the Ministers other side, looking important and glaring down at me through his specs. I tried not laugh, which was easily done, considering you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. There were several other Ministry officials standing near the door and looking around the office with disinterest. I spotted Dolores Umbridge standing among them.

"Ah, I see my Aurors have arrived, good good" said Scrimgeour. "Come forward, I need to speak to you all. Especially you, Miss Tonks".

"Me, Minister?" I asked, putting on my best bewildered face.

"Yes you Miss Tonks, I have several things I wish to discuss with you. First concerns Mr. Dawlish's face" he said, pointing to Dawlish. I could have sworn he smirked, but it must have been a trick of the light, because it was gone quicker than it had appeared.

"I'm sorry I let my anger get the better of me. And I'm also sorry, that I'm not sorry that I did it" I said, calmly, looking him straight in the eye. It was the truth of course, I wasn't going to lie. Punching Dawlish was one of the best thing's I'd ever done.

"I trust you know that punching someone is not the way a good Auror conducts themselves?" he asked. I could feel all eyes on me now.

"I do know that sir, but I do have an issue to raise. Is being a good Auror making sure that those around you feel worthless and degraded? Is goading them to the point in which they feel humiliated and angry the way to conduct one-self? Is calling fellow Aurors filthy names and bad mouthing them so much that they are unable to work together properly, the right way to be a 'good Auror'? And finally" I said, taking a breath. Everyone was staring at me, hanging on my every word, "is calling a dead man names, the right way to be an Auror?".

"Is this what this is all about? My Aurors have been arguing like petty children while Deatheaters find their way into the castle?" Scrimgeour stormed.

"No, I was in the castle, I fought the Deatheaters!" I said, trying to keep my voice level but I felt fit to burst. "Auror Dawlish has caused upset within our group, and you may stick up for him, but I stick for my friends and my actions. I am not sorry for what I did, just sorry that I didn't do it sooner".

I heard someone cough behind me. That sickly sweet cough coming from the over inflated pink marshmallow.

"Excuse me dear, but do you think your statement is worthy of a Auror?" Umbridge asked.

"Begging your pardon, but I am not your dear and I never will be" I said, sweetly. "And I don't see why your here. You don't care about Dumbledore".

"Dolores is here because I brought her here, Auror Tonks. For God's sake, hold your tongue, show some respect" said Scrimgeour.

"Oh, piss off". The words were out of my mouth before I could take them back. The Minister looked as if he was about to burst.

"Minister, Nymphadora here has had a very stressful night, I'm sure you'll agree. I feel as angry as Nymphadora must be feeling. She cannot be blamed for what comes out under this amount of pressure" said Minerva, quickly. I wondered if this was how the meeting was supposed to go. I looked up at her and then behind her, to the new portrait on the wall. Albus Dumbledore was sat there, watching the scene curiously. His eyes didn't twinkle but he smiled at me. It was all the encouragement I needed.

"Minerva, it's fine. I am angry yes, but my words are my own and I mean them in the way that they've been said" I said, confidently.

"I agree with Tonks, Minister. Dawlish is out of line" said Jacob, coolly. Scrimgeour looked like he'd been slapped in the face, because Jacob was of course highly respected by the Minister. "But I think we should find out what's happening next, for Hogwarts I mean". He looked at me and winked, he would let me continue, but he wanted us to find out what was going on first.

"Yes, yes of course. Well, Mr. Weasley and I, along with several other Ministry officials will be taking up residence in the castle until the time of Dumbledore's Funeral, which is to be in one week. It will take place in the grounds, and I expect you will be there? Furthermore, we have a man hunt to organize. Severus Snape needs to be brought in, as soon as possible" he explained.

"We won't find him" I interjected, again everyone turned to look at me. I was feeling in a defiant mood. "The place he'll be now is with Voldemort -" everyone flinched "- and we have no chance of finding him. Why search at all?".

"Because we must" he barked.

"But, what Tonks says makes sense. I mean, we won't find You-Know-Who, and that's bound to be where Snape is. Why use resources on pointless searches?" asked Mark, quietly but firmly.

"Because we - we have to -" he spluttered, more in anger than anything.

"Because we have to look like we're doing something, right?" I asked. "Make sure the public think we're getting closer when really, we don't have a clue. None of us do. And where do you suppose we start looking, if this pointless man hunt is to go on?".

"Hold your tongue Miss Tonks, you have no idea" said Umbridge, suddenly. "You have no idea how much hard work and effort everyone is putting in, and what excellent results we're achieving".

"Oh, really Dolores? I thought results were poor at the moment, almost non-existent" said Minerva, curtly. "And I don't know why you are having a go at young Tonks, when all she is doing is stating her point of view, and the confusion that she, and everybody else, feels".

"I must admit Minister, I'm slightly confused myself" said a voice suddenly. I looked in the direction and saw Percy, a look of pure confusion on his face. "I mean, we've been told nothing of what has happened tonight. Can you not tell us?". I was shocked.

"Minerva? Haven't you told them?" I asked.

"I have informed the Minister, but he has not informed anyone else" said Minerva.

"Now see here Minerva, it's none of your business what information I chose to disclose" said Scrimgeour.

"So, you mean to say, Percy doesn't know about his brother?" I asked, slyly. Scrimgeour turned red and Percy spluttered.

"M - My brother? Which one? What's happened?".

"Bill. He's lying in the hospital wing right now. He was attacked by Fenrir Greyback" I said, calmly.

"What?" he almost shouted, looking at me in shock. "Why wasn't I told about this?" he directed his question to the Minister.

"Well, I just didn't think -".

"I should have been told. I may not get on with my family, but he's still my brother. That information should not have been held back".

"No Percy, it should not have" said Mark. "That's just low".

"Exactly" I sneered, before turning around and walking towards the door. I'd had enough now, after everything that had happened, I just wanted to be on my own.

"Where do you think your going?" barked the Minister.

"I'm going for a walk, I need to clear my head, I've had a bad night" I explained, calmly, before turning back to the door.

"You work for the Ministry, girl. And you will stay here" he ordered. I turned around and smiled.

"Go to Hell". And then I walked out, making sure I slammed the door behind me.

As I walked out of Dumbledore's office, panic began to set in. Oh my God, what have I just done? I just argued with the Minister, in front of everyone. I told him to piss off, and to go to Hell! Merlin, why did I do that for? At that moment my mum's voice floated into my head; "Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret". It was something she used to tell me when I was younger, but I'd never listened. But was she right? Did I regret it?

Honestly: No. I didn't regret it. Perhaps I regretted saying those things in front of everyone, but they were things that needed saying. They needed saying for the sake of those who were to scared to speak out, and say that maybe what the Minister is doing is wrong. Was I probably now fired? Yes. Do I care? ... Yes, I do. Oh my god, I shouldn't have done that. Okay Tonks, just calm down. Deep breaths. Maybe I should go back there? No, that'll only make things worse, wait for it to cool down.

I silently agreed with myself, which is slightly weird, and began walking down a familiar corridor. I'd been here mere hours before. I walked over to the staircase, but stopped half way and stooped down, picking up at dropped wand from earlier. I thought it might be Bills so I clutched it in my hand and went to sit on the stairs. I sat two steps up, twiddling Bill's wand between my fingers and looking around at the ruined corridor. It had suffered alot last night. We had all suffered alot last night. It was still dark in the corridor, the sun wouldn't rise for hours yet, and the only light in the corridor came from the dark mark that hadn't been removed from the Astronomy tower.

If I closed my eyes I could almost hear the screams and curses, the bangs and crashes, the sound the walls made as they were blasted with a wayward curse. I could remember how scared I was, how fast my heart was beating, how much energy I'd poured into the battle. I remembered seeing Ginny taking on a Deatheater three times her size, and giving back better than she got. I felt myself burst with pride when I remembered how fiercely she'd fought, and how grown up she was.

Then I thought back to the hospital wing, back to the argument between Fleur and Molly. I'd agreed with Fleur, and her words had been sent spinning around my brain until I couldn't take it anymore. I remembered how I flew at Remus in front of everyone, how desperate I'd acted. I cringed inwardly, remembering how embarrassed I'd made Remus. I shouldn't have done it, it was our private business, and shouting it out in front of everyone was not the way to win Remus around.

I looked down at the wand in my hand. Maybe it was time to give up. Remus's would never accept me, he was too stubborn. I suddenly felt angry and chucked the wand across the corridor. It slid out of sight, as I buried my head in my hands and fisted my hair in frustration, anger and hurt.

"Hey there" whispered a voice. I looked up sharply, and standing several feet away from me, was Remus. I looked down again, not wanting him to see the angry tears that had started to form in my eyes.

"Hey" I said. I heard him come closer, and felt him sit down next to me, but I didn't look at him. And he didn't say anything.

"I think I've been fired" I heard myself say.

"I don't think so, Dora" he replied. I was startled to hear him use my pet name. "Mark didn't say anything about that".

"When did you talk to Mark?" I asked, looking sideways at him.

"He came to the hospital wing. Apparently a certain Auror had a pop at the Minister of Magic" he said, pretending to be thoughtful. "I imagine your in trouble, but there's no law against speaking your mind. At least, not yet" he said.

"Well, law or not, Scrimgeour hates me anyway" I sighed. "So, Mark came to the hospital wing to find me...?"

"Yes, he thought you'd be there, but obviously you weren't" he said. "So I came to look for you".

"Why?".

"I was worried about you" he whispered. I lifted my head and tucked my hair behind my ears, so I could see him better. He wasn't looking at me, he was more interested in the wall in front of us.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked, curiously.

"Just had a feeling" he shrugged, but he turned to looked at me. "Plus you were thinking so loud that the whole castle could hear you".

"Oh haha, your so funny" I said, sarcastically, nudging him with my shoulder. He nudged me back. "You know, I don't actually regret what I said to the Minister. But I'll be sad if I lose my job, even if I'm not a very good Auror".

"You are a good Auror, Dora. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Nice right hook by the way" he smirked. "What did you say to the Minister then?".

"I told him to go to Hell" I said, bluntly.

"Ooh" he said, wincing. "Not good".

"Tell me about it" I said. "It's just been one thing after another tonight? Or should I say this morning? I'm kinda confused".

"Yeah, I guess it's both really" he said. "I just - I can't believe that all this has happened. I mean - Dumbledore - dead? And by Snape's hands?" Remus looked panicky, furious, unnerved.

"You admired him?".

"He accepted me, when no other headmaster would. He gave me a chance to be normal, to have friends, to be accepted by others. Yes, I admired him, but also, I wouldn't be the man I am today without him" Remus explained. His voice shook and at the end of it, he put his head into his hands. I put my arm around his shoulders and squeezed gently.

"Then I'm happy that he let you into Hogwarts, cause if he hadn't, I wouldn't have known you" I said, trying to be comforting but realizing how dangerously close the conversation was getting to the one in the hospital wing. Suddenly, he stood and cleared his throat.

"I've got to go" he mumbled, before jumping down the step and walking down the corridor. Oh no, not this time Mr. Lupin. You are not getting away that easy!

I jumped off my step quickly a hurried after him, he'd just turned the corner. I caught up to him as he reached the stairs to go down. "Remus, don't do this again".

"Do what Tonks?" he muttered, carrying on walking. I followed him, and was almost walking at his side, except he had long legs so was a tiny pace in front.

"Run away, from me. From everything, like you always do" I said. "You haven't been listening have you? To anything I've said over the past year? You heard only what you wanted to and then made up some lame excuses to protect yourself".

"To protect you!".

"No, Remus. To protect yourself. Because your afraid. Your afraid to let someone in, because if you let me in, it'd be the closest someone has ever got to you and that frightens you more than anything, doesn't it? Tell me I'm wrong, go on!" I said. He stayed silent. "I've hit the nail right on the head haven't I?".

"Yes, I'm scared, but I'm also trying to do what's best for you" he said, quite loudly. The echo bounced off the walls.

"You think this is what's best for me?" I asked, now jogging to keep up with him, I grabbed his sleeve and he slowed, but he didn't turn around. "Look at me Remus. Look at me". Hesitantly he turned, took in my appearance and quickly looked away. "Is this what's best for me?" I whispered. He began to walk towards the doors, we'd reached the entrance hall.

"Remus, answer my question".

"No" he said, as we made our way out onto the grounds. "No, Dora, just leave".

"No, I will not! Not until you give me an answer". Walking down slope, kinda tricky when one has no balance.

"Dora, why are you doing this? You need - I just - this is all -" he stumbled, as he stopped and turned to me. "I know what you want me to say, but I don't know if I can. I'm sorry" then he started walking again. Oh, he's sorry. Sorry! Now I was seriously pissed. Forgetting that I was meant to be a grown adult, I stooped down a picked up a stone from the ground and threw it as hard as I could at Remus. It hit him square in the back, and he stumbled on impact.

"What the fuck was that for?" he snarled, turning around.

"For being the biggest prick on the planet, that's what for!" I shouted, stomping towards him. I stood in front of him, hands on hips, contemplating what to do next. He looked shocked and angry. Yeah well, bully for him. Without thinking about it I raised my hand and slapped him as hard as I could across the face. "And that's for breaking my heart" I choked out, before running away, down the rest of the slope and across the grounds, as fast as my tired legs could carry me. I couldn't believe what I'd done. I got the gates and stopped, panting for breath and choking back sobs. I clutched the gate as tears poured from my eyes. My heart was well and truely broken. I couldn't carry on.

"Dora! Dora!" shouted someone behind me. I turned around and saw Remus running towards me, but at that moment I crumpled and the only thing that kept me from falling was my hand on the gate. "Dora, wait".

"Why, sh - should I?" I sobbed.

"Please don't cry, not over me, I'm really not worth it" he begged.

"But you are" I cried. "You are to me. I l - love you".

"Oh Dora. Oh Gods I'm so sorry. Look your in a state, I'm going to take you to the flat. Come on" he said, wrapping an arm around me and practically dragging me away from the school. All I can remember after that was lots of crying, shouting and then darkness. I would relive it all in my dreams.

* * *

When I woke up, sunlight hit my face from an open window near by, and made me moan in annoyance. I grumbled and stretched before opening my eyes properly and blinking rapidly, my eyes adjusting to the brightness.

"Good morning" said a soft voice from the corner. I turned my head towards it, noticing that I was somehow in my flat at Hogsmead, and saw Remus sitting on an old chair, watching me sadly. I looked at him closely and noticed the bright red hand mark on his right cheek. I winced in shame.

"I take it last night wasn't some terrible dream then?" I asked, quietly.

"No, it was not, unfortunately" he answered, still watching me, as if contemplating what he should say next.

"Ummm, I could get rid of that mark for you, if you want" I said, pointing at his cheek, trying to break the silence.

"No, I deserved it and it should stay there" he whispered, before getting up from his chair and moving over to the bed. I sat up quickly as he perched on the side of the bed looking at me. "It will serve as a reminder of how much pain I've caused and how I broke the heart of the woman who I'm in love with" he said, softly. Was I hearing this? I begged him with my eyes to continue. "I've been up since last night, thinking about this. Thinking about everything. And I - I can't do this anymore. I can't fight anymore. I want you, more than anything. I love you" he whispered.

He lent in to kiss me put I pulled back, putting my hands on his chest to create some distance. He looked at me in confusion, which turned to hurt. I pulled the covers off my body and sat next to him properly. "Are you sure about this? Your not going to run away anymore? Your not doing this out of guilt, are you?" I asked, quickly, looking up at his scarred face.

"I've never been more sure in my life, Dora. And I am not doing this out of guilt. To be honest I've been wanting to give in every since last month. I couldn't get you out of my head, still can't" he smirked.

I frowned. "This all sounds like some big game" I muttered.

"Well, I don't like that game, I never did" he whispered, putting his hand on my cheek. "I wish I'd done this a long time ago. Will you forgive me, I'll do everything I possibly can to make it up to you?".

"Remus" I said, softly, feeling numb. Was this real, or was I still dreaming? "Kiss me".

I felt his thumb brush gently over my cheek before he lent forward, I felt his slightly chapped lips on mine and his hand moved through my hair, and down my neck, pulling me closer to him. I responded carefully and slowly wanting to savour every second of contact with him. If the other kisses had been full of Lust, then this was the Love. Soon our bodies were pressed up close, my arms around his neck, my finger gliding through his hair. His hand slid to my hips and I bit down slightly on his lower lip, somewhat desperately. His small moan in response sent shivers down my spine as he pulled me flush against him, his right hand gliding under my shirt and tracing patterns on my stomach. "Dora" he mumbled, and I pulled back, but barely, our lips were still touching. "Love you" he whispers.

I smile and kiss him again, only this time the kiss is deeper, more passionate. I soon find myself being lowered back onto the mattress and Remus of top of me. His lips were moving down along my jaw, teasing me, before they move down my neck. He kisses one particular spot over and over again, making my breath come out in pants, until he bites down. My body is on fire, but in a good way. Its screaming for him, but just as I slam his gorgeous lips back onto me, the turn of a lock is heard and we both freeze.

I felt like the world was handing me a big bar of chocolate but then saying: "Uh-uh you can't eat it all at once". Well, why couldn't I? I almost growled in frustration. I heard footsteps in the kitchen, two sets and figure they belonged to my friends.

"Where's my wand?" I whispered. He got off me, to which I pouted, but he found my wand on the floor and kissed my pouty lips as he passed it to me. I quickly pointed it at the door, casting a silencing charm on the room and a locking spell on the door. As I was about to put my wand on the bedside table, I saw Remus stifle a yawn. "Maybe we should carry this on another night. Your tired".

"No, I'm fine" he said, smiling.

"No, your tired" I said, smirking. "Come on, get into bed with me".

He laughed. "Fine". As he stripped out his many layers, I flicked my wand at the curtains and they shut tight, blocking out the light. He gets into bed beside me only wearing his boxers and it's only then that I realize I'm fully clothed. I quickly shed the layers down to my knickers and shirt, and turn back to Remus who's watching me with hungry eyes. He lifts his arm so I can snuggle into him, resting my head on his chest as he pulls the covers over us. Absentmindedly, I trace one of the scars on his chest with my fingers, brushing them lightly over his skin. He shivers.

"Don't" he whispers. I look up at him questioningly. "Don't touch my scars, they're ugly, just ignore them".

"They're not ugly, they're part of you" I said. "All these scars show are that you are the bravest man in the world, they are not ugly".

"I believe Fleur said something like that earlier".

"Yeah, but I rewrote it as mine" I said, happily. He chuckled. "Why don't you like them?".

"I never did. They were always the topic of discussion at Hogwarts when it came to me. I wanted people to see past the scars and -"

"The geekiness?" I suggested, and he slapped me playfully. "I see past your scars, but they make you you. They don't define you, cause that's not all there is but - oh, I don't know what I'm trying to say".

"Doesn't matter, you were trying to cheer me up, and I'm grateful" he whispered. "I love you, you know that, right?".

"Yes, and I love you too" I said. "We can visit Bill later can't we? I need to see how he is" I said, suddenly.

"Sure" he said, planting a kiss on the top of my head before he fell asleep. I fell asleep quickly after and it was the first night in a long time where I hadn't had nightmares.

This may not be a fairytale, there were no Princess and royal Prince's, no horse and carriage, no big declarations of love. But since when has life been a fairytale? Life is complicated. It's up and down and up again. It spins you round so fast you have to catch your breath and go for whatever, because if you blink, you miss it. And so I went for it, and it had paid off. No, life was not a fairytale, but sometimes it was just as good. Sleeping comfortably, wrapped up in the man I love, now that was a dream come true. And reality would go on, pulling me along with it, but now I didn't mind because I had someone who was willing to take the journey with me. So, no, life is not a fairytale, but sometimes...

... Sometimes you do find your Prince.

**Something bad happened people... my right eye has swollen up! Luckily I wrote this chapter before that happened, but still, incredibly painful and I can only see the world through one eye. I know this chapter was... odd, but I don't like the big dramatic lovey dovey endings, or the really overly fluffy unrealistic ones either. I wanted there to be plenty of angst in this, but a lot of realism too. Next chapters will be combinations of angst and fluff, and I also have an awsomely fluffy chapter planned, which i'm thinking will be chapter 49, so look out for that.**

**P.s. I love this story and will continue it through to the end no matter how many reviews I get (but I do love them, I just like love that your reading the story, more). I have quite a few chapters planned and am so excited to write them (when I get my eye back). Love yaz x**


	48. A Rush of Reality

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, sorry I didn't reply but i'm at my dads and his internet connection isn't good, it took me like 5 minutes just to read 1 review.**

**Ok, I just got my GCSE results, I got: 3 B's, 4 C's and 1 D. I'm ecstatic! Thank you everyone who wished me luck, it came in handy!**

When I woke up later that day, I shifted slightly and realized where I was and who I was with. So it had all been real. I smiled happily as I scrunched up my face, trying to get rid of the tiredness in my muscles. While I was asleep, me and Remus had somehow become very tangled up in eachother, so that I was now pressed between him and the wall. I didn't really mind this though, though his hands seemed to have wondered during his sleep (I'll let you use your imagination as to where they ended up). I would have been content to just lie there for the rest of the day, watching him sleep, but I found myself restless. There were alot of things I had to make up for, first was my job. I sighed in annoyance. I also needed a shower as my hair was full of dust and my shirt was bloody and dirty.

I looked at Remus, watching his chest rise and fall as he breathed, that faint smile on his lips as he dreamed, the crinkle on his brow as he shuffled around impatiently, before pulling me closer, and smiling happily. I couldn't help but giggle. He looked like an angel, and I didn't want to wake him. Maybe I could get out of bed without waking him, have a shower and get us both something to eat. That would be a nice thing to do, right? I thought about this for a moment, before turning my attention back to the first problem. Getting out of bed, which trust me, I didn't really want to do, but my arm was numb and my body wanted me to get up and move around. It was ever so demanding.

Making up my mind on how I was going to get out of bed, I twisted so that I could put one arm on the other side of Remus, resting on the bed. I put my other hand on this side of him and, praying to god that this would work, I leaped over him, landing on my feet on the other side. I stood up carefully and whooped silently at my achievement. Before I knew it my long brown hair had changed bright pink. I took at lock of my hair between my fingers and stared at it for a moment, before jumping up and down like a mad woman. My hair's back, I'm back, I'm Tonks again! I felt great, amazing, wonderful -

"Nice show" came a voice. I turned to look at the bed, and saw Remus, propped up on his elbows, watching me with an amused smile. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Thank you" I said, sitting back on the bed next to him. He lent forward and kissed me on the lips. I giggled. "I'm never going to get used to that".

"Me neither" he sighed. "So why are you up?" he asked.

"I woke up and realized there was some stuff I needed to sort out. Especially if were together now" I said. "Why are you awake?".

"It's hard not to be when there's a beautiful girl jumping over you" he smirked, I blushed. "What stuff?".

"Well, I figured I should go up to the castle and make sure I still have a job" I said, he looked confused. "Scrimgeour's staying at the castle until Dumbledore's funeral".

"He'll try and interrogate Harry" he growled. I took his face in my hands.

"Hey, Harry can handle himself. He has his friends around him, Scrimgeour won't try anything so soon" I said, softly.

"I hope your right" he said. I pretended to be offended.

"I'm always right" I said, turning my head to the side in mock indignation. His arms circled my waist and pulled me close to him. He turned my head to face him and kissed me hard for a minute, but I pulled back before things could go any further. He pouted.

"Don't pout, it doesn't become you" I said cheekily. "Anyway, I need a shower, I'm filthy and -" I smirked, raised an eyebrow, "- so are you".

"What are you trying to say Miss Tonks" he said, seriously.

"Well..." I trailed off, before whispering in his ear, "wanna join me?". As I pulled back, I saw him grin sexily at me. My heart melted.

* * *

I was walking up the the castle, the Dark Mark was gone from the Astronomy tower, and the end of day sun glowed warmly over the grounds. It looked like the perfect summers evening, and in a way it was, but in a way, it was sad. Dumbledore should be here to enjoy it, this day should be spent doing happier things in happier circumstances. But the circumstances weren't happy, and as I approached the castle I started to wonder if I could do it. If I could walk into the castle without him there. Would it be different? Will anything have changed? My footsteps became smaller.

Remus had left me an hour ago. He had gone to his house to change and then he was meeting me in the Hospital Wing, whereas I was heading towards Scrimgeour's temporary office (which i'd found out from Mark was McGonagall's old one) to try and convince him to not fire me. This should be fun.

The castle was quiet, and my footsteps echoed around the entrance hall. It was dinner time, just about, so I presumed everyone would be eating or they may not have come out of their towers. Because it was so quiet, I was able to think about everything that had happened since the battle. I still couldn't quite believe that Remus wanted to be with me, after all those months of saying that he didn't. And he loved me. When he said those three little words my heart rate speed up and I couldn't stop smiling. The way he held me while we slept felt so, so - unexplainable. If I had to put it into words, I'd say it felt like home. I felt like I belonged in his arms, our bodies melded perfectly together and I was on top of the world. Ofcourse, we hadn't done anything yet, and if I was honest, I was scared. I wanted to, really badly, but I was scared that I wouldn't be good enough. Sigh, classic insecurities.

But I tried not to think about it. Part of me was still a little peeved at Remus, but after months of pain that wasn't really surprising, but the bigger part of me was just so happy that Remus was finally mine. Well not mine, I don't like own him or anything, but, oh well... you get the picture. I smiled happily, wondering vaguely whether I should be feeling this happy, considering the events that had occurred only a day ago.

I climbed the stairs, and walked swiftly down the corridor to McGonagall's old office, hoping very much that the Minister would be there. As I got to the door, I saw the Minister coming out, followed by Percy. They were talking quietly as Percy shut the office door. When they turned around they came face to face with me.

"Ummm, Minister" I said, sheepishly, "would it be possible for me to talk to you?".

"Miss Tonks" he said sharply. "The last time you were in my presence you were hot headed, impertinent and quite frankly, rude" he said, staring at me. I put my head down, feeling slightly ashamed of myself. "However, after talking to your fellow colleagues and those in this school and the Ministry that believe in you, I believe that you acted in a way that any good Auror would react after everything you went through. You were being a good Auror, because you were sticking up and fighting for what you believed in and i'm sorry that I ever questioned it".

"Er, that's ok sir" I said, slightly shocked. Was this really Scrimgeour... apologizing... to me?

"So, do I still have a job? I promise I won't speak out of turn again".

"Yes miss Tonks, it would be foolish of me to even consider firing you, especially now. Your a good Auror, but even good Auror's need time. That's why i'm giving you the next few days off. You need to come to terms with everything, and then I expect you back to work, working with the others to track down Severus Snape" he sneered his name. Well, at least he hated him as much as we did. "Is that understood?".

"Yes sir. Thank you sir".

He nodded. "Now, i'm going down to the great Hall for dinner before it gets to late. And you Miss Tonks, best be on your way".

"Yes Minister" I said, as he passed me. "Oh Percy!" I called, he turned around. "Have you gone to see Bill?".

"I did, he was asleep" he answered simply, before following the Minister. I guess that was the best I could hope for. I watched them until they disappeared then hissed "yessss" while punching my fist in the air. I still had my job, I had several days off and on top of that, Scrimgeour apologized!

I walked along the corridor and made my way up, ready to see Bill in the Hospital Wing. I needed to say thank you, because when I thought about it, it could have been me. I also needed to apologize for what happened to him. I wondered whether Remus would be there yet, but just as i was walking along the fourth floor corridor, i saw McGonagall in front of me, muttering to herself. Her hair was out of it's bun slightly and she looked terribly stressed. Not surprising really, what with everything, but still, I had a feeling she was going to break down any second. And then she did, she lent against the wall up ahead, let her hat slid from her head and put her hands over her face!

I couldn't believe it, this was Minerva McGonagall, formidable witch, calm and collected under every circumstance and she was... crying? I ran up to her, horrified that such a normally composed witch could break down in the middle of the hall. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I had to do something.

"Minerva?" I called, racing towards her.

"What now!" she moaned, turning around, her eyes like daggers. I stumbled. "Oh, Nymphadora, i'm so sorry". I came closer to her, and stopped in front of her, before picking up her hat and handing it back. "Thank you".

"It's no problem Minerva" I said, sadly, rummaging in my jean pockets. I found a tatty old hanky and handed it to her. She gave a watery chuckle as she took it and wiped her eyes. "You want to talk about it?". I thought she would refuse, but before I could even blink, she began talking desperately.

"It's everything. Everything's a mess. I have to try and keep this school going and the students calm, while having to deal with the Minster and his entourage being everywhere, scrutinizing me and pestering me about every little detail. And then I have to sort out Albus's funeral but I just have no idea what to do and , and -" she started hyperventilating.

"Ok, ok" I muttered, putting my arm around her shoulders. She looked around the corridor in distress, obviously worrying that someone might see her. "Why don't we go down to the kitchens, have a cup of tea and you can just chill for five minutes, ok?". She nodded, it seemed to me like she didn't trust her own voice.

As we got to the kitchens, she began talking again. She had been walking along side me, deep in thought. I remembered that I should be in the hospital wing, but this seemed more important.

"It's only been a day, and i'm already a wreck" said Minerva, "I don't think I can do this". I tickled the pear on the portrait, and opened the door to the kitchen.

"I believe you can" I said, firmly. The little house elves gathered around us quickly, most of them looking more sad than i'd ever seen them before. "A tray of tea please, and maybe some chocolate cake?". They bowed and went to get them, while I sat Minerva at the table.

"Your upset" I said, sitting down next to her. "Your upset, and you've had all this dumped on you when all you really want to do is grieve".

"Yes" she whispered as the tea was put in front of us. "It's times like these that remind you how old you really are, and how much you have to lose". I sipped my tea, and she did the same before speaking again, "I'm sorry you had to see that Nymphadora, I shouldn't have let myself get like that".

"Tonks. And everyone's allowed to cry, especially now. You worked with Dumbledore for years, he was your friend, of course you cried" I said. "I would find it weird if you hadn't cried" I said.

"I don't understand why i'm finding my job hard right now, I love my job...".

"I told you, your upset, and quite frankly I think you need some help. With Dumbledore's funeral and such. Ummm, hey-" I said, an idea striking me. "-what about Moody?".

"Alastor?" she whispered.

"Yeah, he's your friend, and Dumbledore's. I'm sure he'd want to help" I said, and without waiting for an answer, I whipped out my wand and sent a Patronus to him. It was the same wolf that erupted from the end of my wand. I guess it will never change back, it will always be that wolf now.

"Your a good girl, Tonks" she whispered, "thank you".

"It's no problem".

"How are you, Nymphadora? How are you coping?" she asked.

"Too be honest, I haven't really had time to think about it, and... i've been trying not to. I guess I still want to believe that nothing's changed" I sighed.

"And what about a certain Mr. Lupin?" she asked. "I was, quite shocked when I heard your argument. I never knew..."

"Not many did, but now they do..." I smiled. "Were together, I think. It's a little confusing, but so is everything. All I know is that he loves me and he's regretting not giving up sooner. Sorry, shouldn't be talking about this now, not since Dumbledore..."

"Like I said last night, I think Albus would have been happy" she smiled, sadly. "Your good for him Tonks, I think he needs someone now more than ever. I just wish Albus were here..."

"Tell me about him".

"He was my head of house at school, did you know that?" she asked, I shook my head. "Yes, me and Alastor's in fact. Alastor and I are the same age, but we didn't really get along while we were students, not until fifth year really. We used to cause trouble for Albus, but he never took our quarrels to seriously. He helped me secure his old post as Transfiguration professor and we've been good friends ever since. Albus was always very loyal and trusting, which turned out to be his downfall, in the end..." she became quiet, and we sat in silence.

Soon after a clunk, clunk, clunk was heard and then the door began to open. In stepped Alastor "Mad-eye" Moody, his blue eye whizzing all over the place, and little house elves scrambling out of the way of his wooden leg. He came over to us, and put an hand on Minerva's shoulder.

"Minerva, Tonks" he greeted, solemnly. "Thank you for calling me Tonks, i'll look after Minerva now".

"I'm still here, you know?" snapped Minerva. "And I don't need looking after".

"See that charming personality of yours is still intact" said Mad-eye.

"How are you holding up Mad-eye?" I asked.

"Oh, you know me Tonks, tough as nails" he said. Minerva snorted into her tea, something that sounded an awful lot like 'debatable'. But whether Mad-eye hadn't heard her, or he was choosing to ignore it, he acted like she'd never said anything. "And you, girly".

"I'm fine, Mad-eye" I said, instantly wondering whether that was true. Apparently he was wondering the same thing, as he grabbed me suddenly into a gruff hug. I spluttered in surprise, but hugged back. Hugs from Mad-eye were rare, and must be taken advantage of.

"Right, i'll take it from here, Nymphadora" said Mad-eye. "I think a certain someone is looking for you. Apparently you were meant to meet them" he said, vaguely.

"Oh Merlin, I forgot" I said, standing up. "This seemed more important" I said, quietly.

"Well, on your way. And i'm sure we'll see eachother soon, there are lots of plans to draw up" said Mad-eye, gruffly. I nodded and quickly hugged Minerva, who was looking half horrified at the thought of being alone with Mad-eye, but half happy that she would have someone to talk to properly. I did my best, but he would be able to help her more than I could. I walked out of the kitchen, listening to there low voices until they were cut off by the door closing.

Walking back through the halls of Hogwarts, in the direction of the hospital wing, my mind was working over time. Everything had happened so fast that I'd barely had time to think about it. Dumbledore, the Minister, Remus. But mostly Dumbledore.

It suddenly struck me, all that with Minerva had brought me down to earth with a bump. Dumbledore was gone, as in gone forever. I would never see the twinkle in his eyes, or hear those words of wisdom ever again. Because he was never coming back. He was Dead. Gone. Forever.

I lent up against a wall, my mind seemed to have gone into shock, and tears started pouring from my eyes. I tried to keep them back, but they just kept coming. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor, my only thought was 'why am I so happy, when Dumbledore's dead?'. I don't know how long I sat there, but soon footsteps came from in front of me, and an arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me close. I didn't even have to look up to know who it was.

"You have a knack for finding people" I whispered.

"I've been looking for you" Remus whispered, "I was worried".

"There was no need, i'm fine" I said, wrapping one of my arms around his waist.

"If you were fine, do you really think you'd be here right now?" he asked. "What's wrong? Dora, tell me what's wrong?" he asked more softly.

"I was - with Minerva. She was upset and she told me some things and it got me thinking and -" I pulled away so I could look him in the face, "- he's dead, Remus. Dumbledore's really gone, and he's never coming back" I choked out. He pulled me close to his chest, but I continued talking. "I guess, I hadn't really thought about it. What with everything between you and me, I overlooked it. Oh god, how could I be so, so -"

"Dora stop, stop this right now" he said, harshly. I almost jumped away from him, and I think he noticed because his voice became softer. "Stop beating yourself up over this, we've all had a lot to deal with, and it hits people at different times, and some worse than others. I mean I- I've tried to put it to one side for a moment, but whilst you were gone, I was doing some thinking, about us" I jumped away from him and looked at him face, hurt and upset. "No, no no, not like that. No way, I just got you, I'm not going to do that" he said, I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank God" I whispered. "So, if it's not that, then what is it?".

"Well, I want to do things properly, but I think my proper way will probably be considered the old fashioned way" said Remus, carefully.

"Ok, let's hear it" I said, cautiously.

"Well, I was wondering whether you would consider going on a date with me, say - Tomorrow night?". I was stunned for several seconds, before I began giggling.

"Your adorable, you know that" I asked, tapping his nose with the tp of my finger. He sulked.

"I'm not adorable".

"Yes, you are" I giggled, before leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. "Yes, i'll go on a date with you" I said. I would spend quality time with Remus and forget about everything for awhile. Perfect. "So, where are we going?".

"That's for me to know, and you to find out". I pouted. "You'll find out when I pick you up tomorrow night at 7, okay? Now come on, Bill's awake". I took his offered hand and got to my feet. I spent the walk to the Hospital Wing clutching Remus's hand and thinking about tomorrow night.

* * *

"Wotcher Bill" I greeted, trying to act as though I hadn't been crying in the corridor, minutes beforehand. "How are you feeling?".

"You know, i've been better. Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione came to see me earlier, filled me in with everything. I heard, about Dumbledore, is he really...".

Remus nodded solemnly next to me. "It's true, he's - he's dead" whispered Remus. I gripped his hand tightly and he smiled sadly down at me.

"Blimey. I mean, the kids told me, and Fleur, and Mum and Dad. I just didn't want to believe it" Bill said, sighing. I looked at him properly, he looked really bad but still, better than the other day. His scars were clean and there was no blood anywhere. But still, I felt sad, his scars would never heal, he'd be that way for the rest of his life. However long that was, nowadays, life expectancy was short. The thought filled me with dread.

"I don't want to believe it either" I muttered, and Remus's arm came around me.

"I see you two, have you, you know...".

"Yes Bill, were together" said Remus, smiling. My heart soared at those words.

"Well, first is the 'date'" I whispered so only Remus could hear. He nudged me playfully. It amazed me how Remus could turn my mood around so quickly.

"Mum'll be happy" Bill said, laughing slightly. "So it's all domestic bliss then? Better than my love life right now, I can tell you".

"Why? What happened?" I asked.

"I may have said something to Fleur which upset her" Bill said, looking guiltily at Madam Pomfrey's office, because Fleur had just stepped out. She defiantly looked angry, but more hurt than anything. She came over to the bed, giving me and Remus's the briefest of smiles before slumping in a chair next to Bill's bed, crossing her arms over her chest and looking in the opposite direction.

"Bill, what did you say to her?" asked Remus, but it was Fleur who turned to answer.

"This man, my fiancee" she started, "has such a low opinion of me, zat he theenks zat... I am so shallow as too...".

"I didn't say that love, you know I didn't. I wasn't calling you shallow".

"Zen why did you say such a thing to me?" she turned back to me and Remus. "He asked if I did not want to marry him anymore, just because of his scars".

"Bill, your an idiot" I said, simply.

"I know, and I've said sorry" he said, looking pleadingly at his wife. "We've changed the wedding plans, by the way. We're having it over here this summer. At the Burrow. We felt it would be better to be home, where we can help out and Harry can come" explained Bill. Fleur was still looking sulky.

"Good idea" I said. "Best make it up to your bride-to-be first though? Or they may not be a wedding".

"Love, please forgive me. I didn't mean it" he said to Fleur. Fleur looked at me and I offered her a sympathetic smile. She sighed and turned back to Bill.

"Fine, you are forgiven. But if you ever say anything like zat again, I will curse you into oblivion" she warned. Bill nodded, looking frightened and I laughed behind my hand, before realizing that both my hands were free and that Remus had just sat down. I pouted, he took the last chair in this area. I walked closer to Bill's bed to sit down on the edge, but before I could reach there, two hands came around my waist and I was pulled onto Remus's lap. It surprised me so much that I let out a squeal a bit to loud and Madam Pomfrey came out of her office to find me and Remus's squished into one chair, laughing like lunatics. Fleur and Bill were laughing to, the tension had successfully been broken.

"Wasn't funny" I choked out, "sorry Poppy, that was Remus's fault" I said. She smiled, rolled her eyes and walked away. "What did you do that for?" I asked.

"Seemed like a good idea in my head" he shrugged. I settled myself in his lap and lent back. His arms were around my waist.

"So, I take it you two 'ave made up?" giggled Fleur.

"Yes Fleur" I answered. "How many times do you reckon we'll have to answer that question within the next few days?" I asked Remus.

"Too many" he said. "So, Bill...". The conversation touched on a variety of subjects, but most of them were related to the Order and Hogwarts. Both Remus and bill spent an hour talking about plans for the Order and what they suspected would happen to Hogwarts.

"I had a thought earlier, and I was wondering about Snape" said Bill. Remus's hands balled into fists but I tried to calm him down. "He can get into Headquarters, I don't think he could bring Deatheaters with him because of the Fidilus charm, but still, he can get in. Don't you think it's a bit risky to use it as headquarters?".

"Yes, I suppose it is. He can't take Deatheaters in because he can't tell them the location, he's not the secret keeper thank God. But I think we'll have to find somewhere new to meet. I'll talk to Mad-eye about it" answered Remus calmly.

"Mad-eye's in the kitchens downstairs" I said, offhandedly. They all looked at me. "What? I was down there with him. McGonagall's there too, or was. They may have left by now".

* * *

After plans were laid to come and see him again and contact the Order after Dumbledore's funeral, and after promising we would go and see Molly soon, me and Remus left the hospital wing together and walked through the school in the dark.

The order would be meeting after Dumbledore's funeral, out of respect, and we would carry on Dumbledore's work now that he wasn't here. Remus was to send a message to all order members to tell them and Bill was going to persuade Molly and Arthur to use the burrow as a temporary base.

"I'm tired" I whispered, yawning straight after just to prove my point.

"Any plans for tomorrow?" Remus asked, wrapping an arm around my waist so I could lean my head more comfortably on his shoulder.

"Apart from our date" I said, smiling. "Yes. I have to clear out the flat with the guys, were no longer needed at Hogwarts or in Hogsmead. Should be interesting".

"I would offer to help, but..."

"But what?" I asked.

"I'm busy" he whispered, smirking down at me.

"Ok, so I won't see you until tomorrow night from now" I said, as we reached the gates of Hogwarts. I pulled away from him and almost laughed at the look on his face.

"I didn't say that" he said.

"No, but I did". He pouted as I walked away from him. I blew him a kiss and laughed at the expression on his face.

"Right, that's it" he growled, and before I knew it he was chasing after me. I ran away from him, and through Hogsmead, giggling like an idiot and teasing him to come and catch me.

**ATTENTION: I need you to come up with a name for this chapter! Please review your suggestions and I shall pick the best and dedicate the chapter to you.**

**I didn't like this chapter at all, but it's mainly a gap filler. I didn't proof read it, but will do someday. Just thought i'd get this up for you now. Luv gurugirl x**


	49. The Date Part 1

**Thank you to Nicki (you didn't log in so I don't no your pen name) for coming up with Chapter 48's title: A Rush of Reality. For that, this chapter is dedicated to you! And the next one too!**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I seriously love them! Love them! Ok, so busy with college stuff and work, so this is really late. I'm sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I'm not J. K. Rowling, you know that, I know that, so why do I even put this up?**

The Date Part 1

**I know, another two part chapter, but this turned out longer than I wanted it and I thought the preparation and date should be separate. Also, I feel i've kept you waiting a long time for this, so there are my not so good excuses. And I love torturing you as much a Bella loves torturing muggles... *cough cough* I did not just say that *cough*. P.s. the next chapter will be the date, and quite possibly the day after aswell... i'll leave you with that thought...  
**

He didn't catch me. I apparated to my Hogsmead flat and heard him shout cheat from a distance. I then apparated back, kissed him full on the lips, and apparated away again. I think he was satisfied.

The next day I spent in my flat at Hogsmead with the guys, clearing out all the junk we'd managed to collect and packing the things that we would be taking back to our separate homes. Whilst the guys were packing vigorously, I was mooching off, occasionally picking up a random object that Mark had chucked on the floor (he'd been doing that alot) and examining it, before chucking it aside. I glance at my room which had all my stuff scattered all over it, nowhere near packed. I sighed, Dawlish wasn't here luckily so we had so time without him, but if I didn't start packing soon, I would never be finished in time to get to my flat. And it was important that I got there. With another resigned sigh, I moved back towards my room but stumbled on something, no doubt another one of Mark's possessions that had been chucked around.

Ancient Magic - the deepest and darkest branches.

"Hey, whose book is this?" I asked the guys, stooping to pick up the book, before standing up and waving it. Mark stuck his head out of his bedroom door.

"It was here when we got here, found it in the old shop below. Keep it if you want, but it doesn't look like a pleasant read to me" answered Mark, before going back to his packing.

I turned around so my back was to them and opened the book. On the inside cover someone had wrote an inscription. It read;

_Dear reader, beware. The information this book contains is not for the faint hearted. I, sir Archibald the second, have investigated some of the most rare and unresearched branches of magic. I have seperated Myth from Legend, Truth from Lies and Fact from Fiction in every way I possibly could. Along side the truth however there must be a sprinkle of what I like to call 'unexplained rumors', rumors that have never been proven or tested and never will be. So, I wish you luck, and hope that this book does not burden your mind, as it did mine._

Ok, so that was... intense. Yikes, this guy was super creepy, and how old was this book? The title said Ancient Magic, and this book looked so old. Half it's pages were falling out.

"Tonks, are you going to pack anytime today?" called Jacob.

"Yeah, in a minute" I called vaguely. I flicked the pages through randomly, it looked like it was this Archibald guys diary. It was written in ever lasting ink in swirly, and there were diagrams and sketches of things that I had never seen before. Totally boring, this book WAS ancient. I was about to close it so I could toss it in the garbage when a word caught my eye. Metamorphmagus.

Quickly, I stayed my hand on that page and opened it fully. There was a sketch of a witch three times, each time with a different face but you could tell it was the same witch because her clothes never changed. I looked down at the small passage below the drawing, and read eagerly. After reading the first sentence, I was insulted, but intrigued too. I whipped out my wand and tapped the page lightly, changing the words into ones that can be read more easily. Then, I read on.

_Metamorphmagus, a rare creature, supposedly human with 'shape shifting abilities' is one of the worlds most fascinating yet terrifying creatures in the wizarding world. Though many born with this ability will be shunned from society, or mysteriously disappear, I decided to investigate the levels of magic which flow through a Metamorphmagus, to find out whether these creatures are really a threat to our peaceful society._

_Diary extract: 14th October, 1887. I am watching the 'witch' from my window at the nice muggle Inn that I have found. She is skulking in the shadows of the street, under the disguise of a young maiden. This is the third change in appearance that I have recorded since I first found her on October 6th._

_Name: Lucinda (second name unknown)_

_Age: Unknown (I have seen her as young twice and old once, therefore I cannot draw a conclusion as to her age)._

_Family: None of note (hardly surprising)_

_Occupation: Changes daily._

_Notes: She always looks drawn and thin, like a little butter spread over to much bread. She does not seem to be able to 'morph' this look away, no matter how young or old she makes herself. From my observations it seems that as long as she does not shift around muggles, they accept her willingly. I find myself intrigued by this, for she seems so tactile in nature that I am in two minds whether to believe the stories about the dangers that Metamorgi impose on our society..._

_October 16th: I have unearthed a terrible 'rumor' which I believe to have some truth in it. From a reliable source, I have found that a metamorphmagus's magic runs deeper than I imagined. Whether is this be myth or not, it has wearied me greatly and so I will suspend my investigation for the time being. But before I leave this investigation, I shall write the myth in the hope that someday, someone will find it and be able to tell whether it is truly a myth._

_A Metamorphmagus has many branches of magic flowing through it's veins and it's ability to change it's appearance is only one of them, and perhaps, the least dangerous. If a Metamophmagus, or someone with a close bond to them were to be threatened, a Metamorphmagus can channel magic through there ever changing bodies and curse the threat however they wish. However, this magic is often performed before the Metamorphmagus realizes what they have done, so it is my belief that if they had no knowledge or understanding of the magic, they cannot be blamed. I will be killed if I am found to be writing this, but this is what I believe._

_There you have it, a diary extract I found on my travels. I am confused and shocked to hear of such a thing, but I shall not investigate. I have not found the writer of this extract, and so I shall return to England before Spring is upon me._

My mouth was open. What bullshit! How dare people think that about metamorphgi! Were not creatures, were not terrifying, and we do not have magic to curse people when threatened, without knowing. It's a stupid, pathetic, crazy rumor. Just forget it Tonks, throw the book away. I slung it across my room and it hit the window, bouncing off and landing face down. I wish I'd never read that book.

It took me several minutes to calm down, until finally, Mark tapped me on the shoulder and I jumped round in fright.

"Are you okay Tonks? You look ill, do you want to sit down?" he asked, looking at me with eyes full of concern. I shook my head.

"No Mark, I'm alright" I muttered. "I'm meant to be packing" I said, remembering, before moving into my room. He followed me in and walked past me, picking up the book I'd just been reading. He turned to me with it in his hand, but I wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"It's not a pleasant read, is it?" he said, putting an arm around my shoulders. "It's really old Tonks, everything in there is so outdated". I nodded but still felt uneasy. He could tell, damn him, he could always tell. "When are you seeing Remus next?".

I looked at him in surprise. "How did you...".

"Yesterday afternoon, bathroom, giggling, two towels" he smirked, I felt heat rush through me straight to my cheeks. "Have you two..." he quirked his eyebrow at me.

I looked at him scandalized, and hit him on the chest. "No, we haven't, not that it's anything to do with you. But maybe, tonight..."

He gasped in mock shock. "Ooh, tonight eh, Nymphadora?".

I giggled. "He's taking me on a date".

"Well then, we better get you packed so we can get back to yours".

"We?"

"Ofcourse, I'm going to help you pick a totally sexy outfit for Mr Lupin" he said, and suddenly I saw the gay side of him. That sounds bad but honestly, I've never heard a man talk that way before.

"What about Jacob?" I asked, knowing that they never really left eachothers side at the moment. Not that anyone but me noticed, it wasn't something they wanted people to know. It wasn't about being ashamed, it was about all the hassle they'd get from work. I swear, the Ministry's list of prejudice's never ended. Then again, alot of people thought like them.

"He'll do what I tell him to do" Mark replied, and to that, I smirked.

* * *

"How much stuff have you got?" laughed Mark, chucking one of my t-shirts at my head. I pulled it from my head and shoved it in my bag.

"A lot" I answered. "Now can we speed this up, I only have -" I checked my watch "- 5 hours until my date".

"5 hours, oh no!" gasped Jacob mockingly, coming into the room as Mark picked up my pink leather boots. "Nice boots. Kinky!". Mark chucked one of them at his head.

"Hey, don't chuck my boots" I said.

"Oh so they're yours, Tonks. Does Remus enjoy these boots?" asked Jacob. I grabbed the other boot off Mark and chucked it at Jacob. It hit him straight in the face.

"Bulls-eye" cried Mark, as I laughed and Jacob pouted.

"Ha ha, your face" I said, pointing and giggling.

"Hey, no fair" Jacob pouted.

"I'm going to miss you guys" wailed Mark, suddenly. "It's not going to be the same".

"Don't worry. We'll still see eachother" said Jacob.

"Not as much, I've just gotten so used to living with you" Mark pouted. Oh God, everyone is pouting today. I figured this was a private conversation, so I continued to pack, acting oblivious.

"Well you can come over as much as you like" Jacob said. I heard Mark sigh.

"Yeah, sure. I better go make sure I packed everything" and without another word, he left. I turned to Jacob who was looking confused.

"He's already packed" he muttered. "Did I do something?"

"Your so stupid".

"What!".

"Are you thicker than you look?" I teased.

"Hey" he said, indignantly, then frowned. "Probably. I just - sometimes I don't know how to be with him. Like a couple. It's confusing".

I patted him on the shoulder. "There there". He shoved me.

"Patronizing sod".

"He wants to live with you".

"What!".

"All the stuff about being away from you, he's hinting that he wants to be with you properly. Like living together" I explained.

"Oh, so I should go ask him to live with me?".

"That's up to you".

"I want him too" he muttered. I raised my eyebrows and pointed to the door. He smirked and left to find Mark.

Men!

* * *

I walked out of my room with my bags under my arms, ready to find the guys and go home. I walked down the hall to there room, throwing caution to the wind. I should have caught that caution and clutched it to my chest.

"Hey guys - Oh, Jesus Christ!" I shrieked, covering my eyes with my hands, but the damage was done. There on one of the beds was Mark, pinning Jacob down and practically eating his face. "Seriously, you two? Seriously".

"Should have knocked first" I heard Mark say.

"Are you two decent, can I remove my hands from my eyes yet?" I asked.

"Yeah, you can look" Mark replied and I opened my eyes. Mark was standing as bold as brass, doing up with shirt buttons and smirking at me. Jacob on the other hand had his back to me, and the deep shade of red that was creeping up his neck told me he was very embarrassed.

I coughed. "Ummm, well, I'm going back to my flat now..."

"Oh, we're coming too" said Mark, happily.

"We are?" asked Jacob, turning around.

"Yes" said Mark, simply. Jacob shrugged.

"Alright, as long as it's ok with Tonks" he said, looking from him to me.

"Fine by me, as long as your both gone before Remus gets there. I mean it" I called to Mark, who had just left the room chuckling evilly. I followed him out, and found him picking up my rucksack and chucking it at me. I caught it, but nearly dropped it as my arms gave way.

"Careful there weakling" Mark trilled.

"Mark, be nice" ordered Jacob, coming out of the room and taking my bag from me. "How is this so heavy?".

"I have no idea".

Both me and Jacob followed Mark out the flat, and gripped hands to apparate. I was starting to wonder whether them both coming would be a good idea, but I felt really nervous about tonight, and the rational part of my brain told me that they would help settle my nerves. The other part of my brain just laughed at me.

Turns out the other part of my brain was now in hysterics. Once we'd got to my flat, Mark decided he was hungry, so, since we hadn't had dinner, me and Mark decided to introduce Jacob to Chinese. To be honest, I was rather sick of Chinese, but I ate it anyway. And then we started messing around, taking photographs with an old camera Jacob had found and talking about everything that had happened this year, and puzzling as to how it had happened.

And then I looked at the clock. That is when one part of my brain screamed in horror, and the other part burst into hysterics at my expense.

"No no no no no!" I shrieked, standing up. Both Mark and Jacob stopped laughing and looked at me concerned. "I only have one hour till my date with Remus, and I haven't even started getting ready!".

"The guy's already in love with you, I'm sure he doesn't mind what you look like" said Jacob, who promptly got hit over the head with a cushion. The scene would have been funny, if not for Mark's serious expression. He chucked the pillow back down and turned to me as I started to hyperventilate.

"Right, calm down. Have you had a shower today?"

"This morning".

"Good. Right, what were you planning to wear?" he asked.

"I don't know. I don't even know where were going so I can't pick anything" I said, desperately

"Calm down, i'll find you something, you go freshen up. Jacob, what are you doing?" he asked. Jacob was sitting on the floor rubbing his head.

"You hurt me" he muttered. At that, I had to laugh.

"Men" Mark sighed. "They're all wimps" he said, before walking down the hall.

"Umm, Mark? Your a man" I pointed out.

"Oh yeah" he muttered, still walking off. I ignored Jacob's groan of either pain or confusion, and ran to the bathroom to freshen up as Mark suggested. How could I let time slip away from me so easily. I knew it was a bad idea for them to come. I knew it!

I quickly ran to the bathroom and started washing and changing. I scrubbed my face, brushed my teeth and combed my hair, before pausing to ponder what I should do with my hair. I'll wait until I have an outfit first, then decide. When I moved into my bedroom wearing just my underwear (they're guys yeah, but they don't look at me like that), I nearly screamed at Mark for what he was doing in my room.

"Why are you chucking my clothes about?" I asked, trying to stay calm while looking at the clock. Ten minutes had passed.

"I'm trying to find you something to wear, but you have nothing" he said, absent mindedly. I looked around at the many items of clothing, which had been slung all over my once neat room, and gaped in shock.

"What do you mean I have nothing to wear?" I asked.

"Yeah, I agree, by the looks of this room, I'd say she has a lot of clothes" said Jacob, coming in and picking up a pair of jeans. I snatched them away hastily and looked sharply at Mark.

"There is nothing here. You need something pretty, not to revealing although... and you need something that you could wear anywhere and it still look alright. Hmmm... I have an idea, you stay here and tidy up. Don't get dressed, i'll be back in ten" said Mark, happily, running from the room.

"Yeah, i'll just tidy up your mess while you swan out making no sense. And it better be ten minutes!" I shrieked, starting to pick up clothes. Jacob coughed. "What?".

He held up his wand then pointed to mine. "Are you a witch or not?".

_Ten Minutes Later..._

I was sitting on my bed, sipping water and glaring at Jacob as he paced the room.

"Your going to wear a hole in my carpet" I commented. Before he could reply, Mark burst back in. I fixed my glared on him instead. At the minute, I hated them both.

"Ok, because this is all our fault" Jacob coughed, "ok, my fault, I've brought you something to say sorry for taking up your time, and making you loopy and hysterically" I resented the description but looked curiously at the bag he was holding up. "Only one they had, one of a kind, apparently, not that i'd know or anything..." he trailed off.

"Mark, just show her" said Jacob, rolling his eyes.

Mark put his hand into the bag, and pulled out the most beautiful, strapless, knee-length dress I had ever seen. I was an aquamarine color and he'd brought pumps to match.

"Not to dressy, not to casual" said Mark, proudly.

"I can't except this" I whispered, and then I looked at the clock. I had half an hour. Maybe I could.

"Yes you can, and if you feel that bad, just consider it an early Christmas present" he said. "Now, you need to get ready and have some fun tonight, because after everything that's happened, you deserve it". I jumped up and hugged him.

"Your the bestest friend ever".

"Aren't I just. And I got pumps instead of heels, cause your clumsy enough, and adding heels would be a disaster" he smirked. I poked my tongue out at him, and looked at the clock again. Now I was feeling nervous...

_To Be Continued..._

**I want a friend like Mark... Hands up who would love to have a friend like Mark, he's awesome. I never really expected to have Jacob and Mark involved much, but Tonks needs some friends outside the Order, and I thought they'd be company for her before her date which at the moment, is getting off to a rocky start. I do that sometimes though, they tell me a time, I say sure, I look at the clock... "Shit, I'm late!"**

**P.s. Any ideas for their date? Mail me them and i'll do what I can. Anything you'd like to see? Mail me! that rhymed!**


	50. The Date Part 2

**Ok, i've been gone for, OMG...AGES! Yikes! I am really really sorry and I hope that you can forgive me. What with the amount of work College is giving me, and trying to fit my job around it, The Order Through The Eyes Of Nymphadora got pushed from my mind. Then I saw the document and freaked out. But I hope this chapter will make up for it. Oh yes people, it's time for... (wait, this deserves to be capitalised) THE DATE!**

**P.s. Bare in mind that in the summer the sun sets later...**

The Date Part 2

_Recap: Remus asked Nymphadora on a date, which she agrees to without knowing anything about where the date is or what will happen. Although she does have a few ideas of her own. While packing and chilling with her two bud Mark and Jacob, she forgets all about the date until an hour before hand. She freaks out, but Mark swoops in and saves the day. But what does Remus have in store for her?_

_Continued..._

I was sitting nervously on my couch, glancing from the door to the clock every few seconds. I shouldn't really be nervous, I looked rather beautiful in my new summer dress, with my long caramel colored hair trailing down my back and over my shoulders. I just hoped that Remus hadn't suddenly changed his mind, and decided that this wasn't a good idea after all. But all my panic at that thought vanished instantly when a 7pm, there was a knock on my door.

I practically sprinted to the door and flung it open. There on the other side stood Remus, beaming happily, holding out a single red rose. My inner fangirl squealed in delight. I took the rose and smelt it, feeling suddenly self conscious about how Remus was looking at me.

"I didn't know what to wear" I mumbled, glancing up at him then down at the rose.

"You look beautiful Nymphadora" I looked up and smiled, eyeing him appreciatively. He was wearing black pants and a crisp white shirt with the top button undone. "But you may want to take your shoes of when we get there" he said, offering his arm. I took it.

"Where are we going?" I asked, as he shut the door behind me.

"It's a secret" I pouted. "No seriously, it's a secret. I can't speak the name of it".

"I bet you could if you really wanted to" I said.

"Probably, but i'm not going to risk it" he said, smugly, leading me over to the apparation point on my floor.

"Git" I muttered and he laughed, leaning down to whisper in my ear;

"And you wouldn't have me any other way..."

We apparated in front of a long row of trees, that formed a small woods, which was quiet and still. I could see light coming through the trees so I guessed the woods wasn't to deep, but I was still confused.

"Where are we?" I asked, turning to Remus. He smiled at me, looking quite... smug?

"We're not there yet, we have to walk through there a bit" he said, gesturing to the woods. I was curious but unsure.

"Ok, but if I break my leg on a tree root, it's on your conscience".

He smirked, and put an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his side. My mood brightened instantly. "I won't let you fall, Dora". And I trusted him. As we walked through the quaint woods, I began to relax. The ground was smooth and I didn't trip over any tree roots. In fact, I didn't even see any tree roots. It was as if the trees were merely a figment of my imagination.

I was happy with Remus's arm around me, but I was still curious. What could we possibly be doing in this woods, or on the other side of it, that would be a date. I didn't understand, but it wasn't long until I found out. When we got the the edge of the woods, I froze in shock.

There in front of me was the most beautiful white sand beach I'd ever seen. The sea that was lapping on the shore was a sparkling blue green, it was beautiful and peaceful, never going out to far and never coming in to close. The sound of it washed over me, and I felt instantly calm, looking at the sunset. Oh, that sunset. It lit up the sky with purples and pinks and oranges, smudged together like paint on the canvas, making me feel warm. I lifted a trembling hand to my lips and turned around, only then realizing that I had walked forward, away from Remus and the woods, as if the scene was pulling me in. And then I looked behind him again, and there were no woods, they had vanished. I stared wide eyed for a moment before turning to face Remus.

"How?" I breathed, quietly, but he heard me.

"The woods were an illusion, to shield this beach from the world. It cannot be found unless you've already been here, so it's a secret" he whispered, smiling happily. I looked around me again and beamed at the site, before running the short way back to Remus and jumping into his arms. I kissed him firmly on the lips before pulling back to look in his eyes.

"Your amazing" I breathed.

"Thank you" he whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. "I hoped you'd like it".

"I love it" I whispered. "But I also think i'm sinking" I commented, and he laughed.

"I told you, you might want to take off your shoes" he said. I bent down and slipped off my shoes, holding them in one hand. He then did the same with his own. He held his free hand out for my empty one. "Walk with me?". I smiled, and entwined my fingers with his.

We walked down to the sea before walking along the shore, barefoot in the sand and watching the sunset. As we walked along, I walked closer to the sea, letting the cool water lap over my feet.

"So, how did you find this place?" I asked.

"Well, it's a secret, so it's passed down in family bloodlines. The secret is handed down through the generations, and my parents passed it down to me. The Lupin family were one of the families in on the secret, but there weren't many to begin with and I think the others have either died out or forgotten" he explained.

"That's kind of sad really, this place is beautiful" I said, stopping and turning to the sea, watching the last of the sun disappear. Remus's arms wrapped around my waist and he lent his head on my shoulder. I leaned into him, closing my eyes.

"So are you" he whispered in my ear.

"Have you told anyone else about this place?" I asked, curiously.

"Nope. No-one else knows about this place. It's our secret now" he whispered.

"I like that" I whispered. And I meant it, I also loved the way he said our. "Our secret" I repeated. We stood there holding eachother for several minutes before the silence was broken by a growling noise. That's right, my stomach.

"Shut up" I hissed at it, but if Remus hadn't been laughing before, he certainly was now. "And you" I said, menacingly. He put his hands up in mock surrender and took my hand.

"Come on, I have food for us down the beach" he said, leading me away.

"Yay!" I cheered, making him laugh once again. I loved Remus's laugh, it was so rare. He pulled me along the beach, both of us laughing and smiling at eachother, until we reached the site he'd picked. It was quite near the sea shore, there was a large blanket set on the sand with a picnic basket on top of it and a large pile of sticks in front of it.

I turned around in front of him and wound my arms around his neck. His arms came around my waist and I smiled sincerely. "I do believe, Mr. Lupin, that you are a romantic".

"Shh, don't tell anyone" he smirked.

"Nope, I shall proclaim it to the world" I said, pulling away and stretching out my arms. He pulled me back to him, and we walked towards the blanket, sitting down together. I sat on the blanket next to Remus, he had his arm round the back of me and the other one propped up on his knee, with his wand in his hand. He pointed it at the large pile of sticks and it burst into bright orange flames.

As I watched the fire, Remus began to empty the contents of the basket in front of us. There were all types of different foods, and several bottles of wine, accompanied by two glasses.

"Wow. how'd you do all this?" I asked. Remus looked sheepish and a thought popped into my head. "Did Molly help you with this?".

"No" he said, slowly, and I giggled.

"Your such a bad liar" I said, hitting him playfully on the leg. He retaliated by tickling my ribs.

"Actually, I only went round there for suggestions, but then Molly proclaimed all men useless and took over" he explained, snuggling closer to me.

"Ah, so you were subjected to the wrath of Molly Weasley" I laughed. He snuggled into my neck, and I put my hand on the inside of his leg.

"Pretty much" he whispered, kissing my neck. "Anyway, I do believe your hungry".

"In so many ways" I mumbled as he pulled away to pick up the glasses. He held one out for me.

"Later" he scolded.

I perked up. "Is that a promise?" I asked, but he just laughed and said no more. He poured some wine for us both and we started eating the delicious food that Molly had made. There was all sorts of french pastries, pate, croissants, strawberry and several slices of chocolate cake. I was careful not to drop anything down me, I didn't want to ruin this dress. Mark would go mental.

"Tell me something" I said, happily. Remus looked over at me in surprise.

"What would you like to know?" he asked.

"Anything. Everything" I said.

"Ok, how about for every one thing I tell you, you have to tell me something about you. Deal?" he said.

"Deal" I said, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. "You first".

"Ok, well you know the Marauders Map? I think Sirius mentioned it once" I nodded, recalling it slightly. "Well, did you know that I tried to draw it, but failed miserably, and that Sirius had to draw it in the end?".

"No" I said, surprised. "Too be honest, and this is going to sound really dumb, but I always thought you were good at everything".

"No-ones good at everything Dora".

"So what aren't you good at?" I asked.

"No, no, no, it's your turn now" he said, taking a gulp of wine. I saw an opportunity.

"Did you know that one of the reasons Umbridge hates me is because my dad turned her down in Hogwarts" I said, quickly. Remus promptly spat out his drink in surprise, and I fell backwards laughing.

"No, I didn't. Your poor dad" he said. "And poor me" he pouted, rubbing his shirt.

"Yes, poor you" I said, leaning over and kissing him on the lips. He responded quickly, but I pulled away soon after. "That make up for it?". He nodded. "My mum hates her. Hated her even more when she found out Umbridge was picking on me".

"Umbridge picked on you?" Remus asked.

"Meh, I was young and an easy target I guess" I said, shrugging. "So anyway, what aren't you good at?".

"Well I can't draw for one, I can't read people easily so if there's anything on your mind, please tell me. And I can't do potions to save my life" he said.

"Really? I'm quite good at potions. But then again I had to be. Professor Sn-" I quickly stopped, and looked over at Remus, but he was looking at me calmly.

"It's ok, you can say it. He's part of your history" he whispered.

"Part of yours too" I said.

"I used to feel great shame for what we did to Severus" said Remus. "Back then I was younger and foolish, you could say, but it's not as if we didn't know what we were doing. And I keep thinking, that maybe... if we'd treated him better, maybe-".

"No Remus, stop right there" I said, quickly. "It's not your fault. Everybody has a choice, no matter what life throws at them. Look at Sirius, and my mum! Look who they had for a family, and look how they turned out. Snape made his choice. It's not your fault" I said, fiercely. He looked up at me, and offered a small smile.

"Thank you" he whispered.

"That's alright" I whispered, seeing a tear in his eye. "Come here" I said, holding out my arms. He lent in and and wrapped his arms around my waist, laying his head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and sighed. "Stupid man" I muttered. He pulled back a bit.

"I am not".

"You are" I laughed. "But you care, I like that".

"Good" he said, smiling and then laughing slightly. "What were we talking about again?".

"Potions, I think. How lousy you were, and how great I was" I smirked. He nudged me and moved back.

"Well I had Slughorn, and he was annoying" said Remus. "Fawning over the talented students, or ones with big family names. It was sickening". I laughed.

"I think Molly mentioned Slughorn before, but I haven't met him".

"Trust me, you don't want to" he said. "So, I told you what i'm bad at, what about you?".

"Ok, I can't sing to save my life, can't stay upright for more than five minutes, can't write so that people can understand what i've put and when I have an opinion I tend to voice it without thinking, and upset people" I reeled off, and he sniggered.

"You don't like yourself much" said Remus. "But singing isn't about being perfect, I love your clumsiness cause I get to catch you, who cares about writing nowadays and at least your honest. There, i've just counteracted everything you just said" he said, smugly.

"Thank you" I said. "But now I feel bad because I didn't do that for yours. Damn" I muttered.

"It's ok" he said. "You love me anyway?" he said, but it was spoken like a question.

"Of course" I said, touching his cheek with my palm, before placing it back on the blanket. We'd eaten most of the food, so I picked up my wine and took a sip. "OK, tell me three things about yourself that I wouldn't know".

"Hmm, that's difficult, because you seem to know everything" he said, playfully. I glared at him, and smacked him on the leg. "Ow, ok. Well I hate quidditch but I love flying, my favourite book is a muggle one called Pride and Prejudice and I can't stand shepherds pie" he said.

"Really? I thought you liked it. Molly made it before and you ate it" I said, slightly confused.

"I ate it to be polite" he said, "your turn".

"Ok, if I could live my life on Chinese I would, even though I love the weird sisters I also love a muggle band called Westlife and I love quidditch and played chaser on the Hufflepuff team".

"That was two things".

"Nope, technically one because they both were about the same thing" I said.

"Ok, if you say so".

"They are" I said, indignantly.

"Ok".

I stuck my tongue out at him, but he put his arm around my waist and pulled me too him, kissing me fully on the lips. I kissed back hungrily, entwining my fingers in his hair and teasing his lips with my tongue. We kissed passionately for a few minutes before pulling away to catch our breath, and laugh shakily at each other.

"Well..." I said.

"Well..." he said. We laughed again. "What have you been doing today then?" he asked.

"Packing mainly. We had to vacate Hogsmead" I said, suddenly remembering the book. I looked away so that Remus didn't see what was sure to be a troubled expression on my face. I wanted to forget what i'd read.

"Whats the matter?" asked Remus. Obviously looking away had not helped.

"It's nothing".

"Well, it's obviously something" he said, putting his hand on top of mine. "What is it? Tell me".

I sighed. "Ok, ummm, ok. So I found this book, well Mark found it before me in the shop below our flat, and it's really old but I read a bit in it. It was about me" I said, quietly. Remus spluttered slightly, before turning to stare at me.

"About you?".

"Well, not me exactly. About my kind" I explained, but he still looked confused.

"I'm still not following" he said, and I looked down. I felt vulnerable and slightly upset by what i'd just said. 'My own kind?' Where had that come from. I sighed and screwed up my face, turning my hair pink, then purple and finally settling on light blue. I looked up at him, not knowing what to expect, but I certainly hadn't expected him to smile lovingly at me, and lean over to push a lock of hair away from my face.

"Your not a 'kind' Nymphadora, your unique. And I don't know what you read but whatever it is upset you, yes?" he asked. I nodded and took a deep breath.

"Most of it about how I was a dangerous creature that shouldn't be trusted, and that I was a threat to society. It made me feel like a - a thing. I wasn't a real person" I said, and he was about to say something but I continued quickly. "But, then I managed to convince myself that it was nonsense until I read this bit at the bottom. It said that metamorphmagus's can curse people, without wands. Like there own form of magic. Like if someone is under threat who they're attached to emotionally, they can curse the threat or whatever".

Remus looked thoughtful. "Your worried that what this book said is true?" he asked. I nodded. He moved closer to me and put his arms around my waist. "If this book is really old, then so is the information. You are not a creature Dora, you are a beautiful young woman who is no danger to anyone. Unless of course you trip and fall onto someone".

I slapped his chest. "Don't be cheeky". He laughed.

"Don't believe everything you read Dora. Not everything that is written down is fact" he whispered. "Understand?".

"Yeah, I understand" I whispered. "It's like with you".

"What do you mean?".

"Well, it's written down that all werewolves are dangerous creatures, but your not a dangerous creature. I don't see that" I whispered, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"And what do you see Dora?" he asked, softly. I turned my head to find him looking down at me. His eyes were soft and pleading.

"I see a man who has been through a lot in life but has never lost his way. I see am man who cares more about everyone around him more than himself. And I see the man I Love, Remus Lupin".

"I still don't believe it, you know" he said.

"Well believe it Mister, cause i'm not going anywhere" I said, firmly. He kissed me on the forehead. "This conversation turned very serious very fast, didn't it?" I asked.

"It did indeed" he replied. "But that's okay, I like talking to you".

"Oh good, because I can talk for England" I gloated. He laughed.

"I can believe that". I poked him in the ribs.

"Git" I sighed. "It really is beautiful here" I whispered, "I think i've finished eating".

"Yeah, me too" he said, quickly clearing away the food into the basket and putting it to one side. I spread my toes out in front of me so they were closer to the fire.

"Do you know what I want to do?" I asked.

"No Dora, what do you want to do?" he replied, mocking me slightly.

"I want to run into the sea right now" I said, happily, standing up. "But I don't want my dress to get ruined".

"Take it off then" he said, smirking.

"You'd like that would you" I said, sitting back down and leaning into him. "Come in with me".

"No".

"Please?".

"Nope".

I pouted, suddenly having an idea. I played with his top button, almost absentmindedly. "How can I persuade you?".

"You can't" he said, but his voice shook. I smirked.

"Ok then, i'll just have to go in by myself" I said, sulkily, and got up to walk down to the shore.

Making sure he was watching, I undid my dress and let it fall off my body to the floor, before stepping out of it. I ran into the sea. Despite appearances, the sea was very warm and I splashed about for a minute before looking back at the beach. What I saw made my breath hitch. Standing at the shore, unbuttoning his shirt, was Remus. He quickly tossed it aside, before wading in to join me. I swam away giggling.

As he caught up to me, I started splashing to water at him so he couldn't get to close. He kept calling me huskily, making me shiver even though I was quite warm. But I wouldn't give in.

"Dora" he growled, "Dora".

"Come and get me" I called, swimming out until I couldn't touch the bottom. then I panicked. I liked swimming but I wasn't much good at it. "Shit. Remus" I called.

"Thought you didn't want me near you" he said, and I could see him smirking at me.

"I can't touch the bottom" I whimpered, pathetically. "I don't like it".

He swam over to me and put his arms around my waist, pulling me out of the water a little. I wrapped my legs around his waist and put my arms around his neck.

"Your tall" I muttered.

"You okay?" he whispered.

"Yeah, I just panicked. Sorry".

"No need to be sorry" he said. "But you win, anyway".

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You got me into the sea" he said, flicking me with water. "Little minx".

I laughed, but then looked at Remus properly. Water dripping from him, bare chested, moonlight shinning on him. I gulped very obviously and averted my eyes. He put his hand up to cup my cheek and make me look at him.

"What's wrong?".

"Ummm, can we go into the shallower water?" I asked, covering up me embarrassment.

"Sure" he said, carrying me back near the shore before letting me down. I dropped into the water, which was just below my knees now. I bent down and pushed the water with my hands, splashing it up at him. "Oh, so your starting that again?"

"Um hmm" I said, nodding and grinning. He splashed the water high and it splashed me in the face. I put up my hands in protest and squealed, but took my eyes of him at the same time. Before I knew what hit me, me and Remus were lying in the water, spluttering as water went in our mouths, laughing our arses off.

Then we were kissing, passionately. Clinging to eachother, kissing with fierce abandon. Remus picked me up out of the water, our mouths still glued together, and took us towards shore. With more care than I thought possible, he layed me down on the blanket, soaked to the skin, still kissing. I ran my hands over his back as his hands rested on my hips and his lips bruised mine.

We broke away, panting for breath. "Remus" I whispered.

"Dora" he whispered huskily back.

"I love you" I whispered.

"I love you too" he whispered back, bringing a hand up to my face and brushing away my damp hair. "What do you want Dora?".

"Don't you know?".

"I want to hear you say it" he said, tenderly. He wasn't demanding it, he just wanted to be reassured that it was what I wanted. And so I said it, without feeling embarrassment or fear, only love.

"Make love to me" I whispered in his ear. He brought his lips down to mine slowly, capturing them completely.

* * *

I was laying down on the blanket beside Remus, my head on his chest and his arms around my waist, feeling utterly content with the world. I looked up at the dark blue sky above, dotted with stars. It was beautiful and peaceful. I could hear the waves crashing on the shore, and the crackling of the fire which cast an orange glow on the blanket that was wrapped around our bodies. I sighed and watched the stars, while Remus stroked my hair with one hands, and traced pattern on my tummy with the other. A shooting star went by.

"Shooting star" I mumbled, pointing upwards.

"Make a wish then" he said, pulling me closer slightly. I put my hand on his chest

"But what would I wish for".

"I don't know, it's up to you" he whispered.

"I already have everything I want" I whispered. "Your tickling me you know".

"Am I? Sorry" he said, not really sounding it. I turned my head to look at him, and he had to lean his head up to look back at me.

"Don't be" I muttered. "Thank you".

"Your welcome..."

"You have no idea why i'm thanking you, do you?"

"Nope". I giggled and settled my head back on his chest.

"This was the most incredible date i've ever been on, so thank you" I whispered, pressing a small kiss to his chest.

"Your worth it" he said, but I felt him shudder while he said it, and turned to him just in time to see him suppressing a yawn.

"Your tired" I whispered.

"No, i'm fine".

"No your not" I whispered, raising myself off his chest and leaning forward so that my lips were almost touching his. "Go to sleep". He kissed my lips and smiled at me.

"God your beautiful" he breathed. I felt myself blush so looked away, and something caught my eye.

"Why is my shoe over there?" I asked, nodding my head toward the shore. He raised his head to look and smirked.

"Umm, to keep my trousers company?" he said, and I realized that I hadn't noticed them about a meter away. We both began laughing.

"Oh my god, our clothes are everywhere" I giggled.

"They were in the way" shrugged Remus.

"Ah yes, they were indeed" I smirked, kissing him quickly. As he pulled away he yawned, then looked sheepishly at me as if I was going to tell him off.

"I'm tired too" I whispered, before settling back down. "What time is it?".

"I don't know, my watch got buried in the sand, I think...".

"You think...".

"I was a little to busy to pay attention". I laughed. "Goodnight, Nymphadora".

"Goodnight" I said, taking one last look at the stars, before closing my eyes and falling asleep almost instantly.

* * *

When I woke up next morning, I sat up and rubbed my blurry eyes. I was sitting alone on a beautiful beach, the fire had gone out during the night, and all the mess from the night before was cleared up. Next to the blanket was a small basket, the bigger one had gone, and next to that was a pile of clean clothes. They were mine, but not the ones from last night. They'd gone too. I looked down at the blanket I was laying on and saw a folded piece of parchment. My heart rate sped up and I began to panic. Where was Remus? Would he... No, he wouldn't do that. Not after last night surely... I gulped and picked up the parchment.

_Dear Nymphadora, _

_Early this morning I got a patronus from Kingsley to meet with him, Arthur and Mad-eye. I'm sorry I left you, but you looked so peaceful as you slept that I didn't want to wake you. I brought you breakfast and some clean clothes for when you wake up, and I hope you will forgive me for leaving you alone. I will most probably be at the Burrow by the time you read this letter, so I was hoping that you'd come and see me. Please? I really want to see you. I love you with all my heart, _

_Love Remus xx_

_P.s. I found my watch. Where did I find it? It's a secret xx_

I snorted with very un-lady like laughter, and put the letter down. I felt much calmer, and also felt stupid for even thinking that Remus would run away again, when he was so sweet. I smiled and pulled the clean clothes towards me, remembering last night. My smile got bigger. I couldn't wait to see him again.

After getting dressed and gobbling down my breakfast, I sent the blanket and basket back to my flat, and ran back up the beach. Which was harder than it sounds, because he'd brought me my boots and if I stopped for more than two seconds, I started to sink. As I reached the edge of the beach, it began to vanish and the 'imaginary' woods appeared. I ran through them as quickly as I could and at the other side, I paused and looked back. I smiled in happiness. This date couldn't have gone more perfect.

And with a smile on my face, I saluted the woods and apparated away. I would come back again, no doubt about it.

When I arrived at the Burrow, I paced myself walking up the lane to their house, enjoying the sunshine and feeling content with the world. This would be the first time in a year that I came to the Burrow happy and myself again. When I reached the door, I tapped lightly, wondering who would answer. It was Molly. As soon as she saw me, she pulled into a hug that nearly cracked my ribs, I swear. But I didn't care.

"It's good to see you Molly" I said.

"It's good to see you too dear" she said.

"Hows things? Hows Bill?" I asked, as she ushered me into the kitchen, and shut the door behind us. I sat down at the table, and she sat across from me.

"Things are, well, as good as can be expected. All things considered anyway. And Bill's recovering nicely, Madam Pomfrey told him we was to ill to go to Dumbledore's funeral, and of course he kicked up a fuss so now he's going. Typical Bill really" she sighed, and I sniggered. "What about you Tonks, how are you now?" she asked, her lips twitching.

"I am feeling really great, thank you Molly" I said.

"Do you want a cup of tea dear?" Molly asked.

"No thanks Molly" I said, smiling. She nodded and went to make herself one. I experimented turning my hair different colors till it settled on pink. Pink was my signature color after all. She was pouring her tea when she suddenly said.

"I know what you've been doing" she turned round with a smile on her face, walking back to the table and sitting down.

"What do you mean?" I asked, nervously.

"A mother always knows" she said, patting my hand and smiling at me. I was still rather confused although, understanding was starting to drip through. Just as I was about to ask again what she meant, the front door opened.

Arthur, Mad-eye, Kingsley and Remus came in looking serious. Remus immediately came over to me, and I jumped off my seat so he could sit there, while the others took up the other chairs. He pulled me back down onto his lap and kissed my neck as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Hello" he whispered.

"Hello" I whispered back. Molly was busy bustling around with tea and what looked like sandwiches. I watched her until she was finished and she put it on the table. The men grabbed what they could and I snorted with laughter. Remus digged his fingers into my ribs. I squealed in surprise. Molly beamed at us, while the others looked slightly bemused.

"So, what going on then?" I asked them, curiously.

"Well, we just put charms on Grimmauld Place. It occurred to us that Snape would know how to get in, and we don't want a deatheater in headquarters, nor that deatheater to tell anyone about headquarters. So charms have been put in place, and we can no longer use it for headquarters. It's not safe" said Arthur.

"So we need a new headquarters" said Remus.

"Well you can use the Burrow if you like" said Molly, and the others looked rather shocked. "Don't look like that! Anyway you can use the Burrow but it might be a bit cramped".

"Your a life saver Molly" said, Mad-eye gruffly.

"Oh Tonks" said Kingsley, addressing me. "I spoke to the Minister yesterday, he told me all about your little speech-"

"What speech?" asked both Molly and Mad-eye at the same time.

"This one" Kingsley continued, pointing at me. I felt embarrassed but then Remus's arm tightened round me, and I relaxed. "Had a disagreement with the Minister the night of Dumbledore's death. She had a go at him about everything that people were feeling towards the Ministry. Quite impressive he said" said Kingsley.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really. Of course he'd never tell you that" smirked Kingsley. "Anyway, the other thing i'm meant to tell you is that you'll be working alongside Dawlish and Proudfoot starting tomorrow". I groaned in frustration. Why Dawlish? Why? Why? Why?

"Great. Fantastic. I'll be in St. Mungo's by the end of next week" I said, bitterly.

"Why?" asked Remus.

"He will have driven me insane" I said, and he laughed, along with Arthur, Kingsley and Molly. Mad-eye just looked thoughtful. "So I guess it's back to reality then" I whispered to Remus, as the others started talking about plans for Harry.

"Afraid so, Dora" he whispered. I turned and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Thank you" I said.

"For what?".

"For finally giving in" I said, and he laughed.

**Alright, i'm gonna stop it there. Please review, because you know I love reviews. As you know, i'm now in college and working so it takes time to write these chapters. Be patient people! Please review xx **


	51. The Funeral

**Ok, this chapter has not been proof read, because it took me so long to write and I figured you'd want this up. I was not good at writing this chapter because I kept thinking of a funeral I recently went to. Therefore, I made sure the funeral was not the sole focus in this chap. It's a big part, yes, but it's does not take up the whole chapter.**

**Things I own: One slow laptop, too many copies of the Harry Potter books (all rather shabby) and the characters (& ideas) in my story that are not in the books**.

**Things I don't own: Harry Potter, it's characters and it's plot.**

The Funeral

It was the day before Dumbledore's funeral. Nope, tell a lie, it was the night before Dumbledore's funeral. Really late at night. I was sitting in my cubicle, at my desk, slaving over a stack of paperwork which wasn't even mine, because Dawlish thinks that because he's slightly more senior than me he can make me do it. Well here I am, so it's proof that he can. Thing is, if it doesn't get turned in then we both get it in the neck, even though I turned mine in at lunch. Talk about unfair.

I looked at the clock and sighed, 11.59 pm. I then looked out of my open cubicle door and into the eery darkness. It's so creepy being in the Ministry at this time of night. But at least I wasn't the only one. Only five minutes ago I heard Mark swearing from the other end of the corridor. I turned back to the paperwork, thinking about how I could be snuggled up in bed with my boyfriend right now... or maybe doing a bit more than snuggling. The thought made me feel happy and grumpy at the same time. Man, I hate Dawlish.

"Sickle for your thoughts" said a voice from the door. I froze, that couldn't be... I turned around in my seat, but there was no-one there. Just a dark hallway. I quickly got up and ran into the corridor looking left and right but I couldn't see anyone. I turned to my right and looked at the end of the corridor, then to the right and looked at the lift. No-one was here. I ran a hand through my hair and turned back round. I screamed.

"Jesus Tonks, I'm not that scary looking am I?" asked Mark, looking tiredly at me.

"No, sorry" I said, breathing heavily. "I just, I heard someone, at my door" I said, looking him up and down. It wasn't Marks voice, the voice I'd heard was much more thoughtful...

"Tonks, what are you talking about? How long have you been working?" he asked.

"Since six this morning. I am not crazy" I said, quickly, before he could say anything. "Someone stood at my door and said 'sickle for your thoughts' I swear".

"I think these late nights are getting to you, Tonks. Why don't you go home, you can't possibly finish them now?" he said, nodding towards the paperwork in my office.

"I have to" I said, turning back into my office and sitting down.

"Ok, whatever. Just remember that you have the funeral in about 9 or so hours, and you need some sleep" he said.

"I'll be fine, I'm almost done. Are you going tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yes, I am. Probably have to sit with the Minister I suspect. Right well, I'm going home. Don't stay too long" he said, clapping his hands together.

"I won't" I replied. "Night Mark".

"Night Tonks". Then he was gone. I sighed and rubbed my temples, tucking my hair behind my ear and turning back to my work. Typically, my hair fell back into my face. It was long, straight and navy blue tonight.

I started scribbling down more notes on this mornings raid, humming under my breath and trying to ignore the eery feeling that the empty Ministry was giving me, when a hand touched my shoulder. I screamed and fell off my chair, landing on the cold, hard floor with a bump.

"Dora, are you ok?" said the man, coming into the light.

"Remus you idiot, why did you do that?" I practically shrieked.

"Sorry Dora, I didn't mean to scare you" he said, looking upset. My heart melted.

"No, it's ok. Can you help me up?" I asked, holding out my hands. He pulled me up into his arms, and I held on to him tightly.

"I'm sorry I called you an idiot, I didn't mean it" I whispered, feeling rather guilty.

"No worries, I did kind of sneak up on you after all" he said. I smiled and leaned up, kissing him on the lips. He kissed me back instantly, running his hands down my back and pulling me closer to him. As our kiss heated up, I felt myself being pushed against the edge of my desk. I moaned quietly as Remus removed his lips from mine and began kissing up my throat. As he sucked gently on a particular spot, I grabbed hold of the desk for support as my knees weakened.

"Remus" I breathed pulling away. He pouted at me, a hungry look in his eyes. I couldn't resist kissing him quickly on the lips. "I think we need to stop before we get to carried away".

"Ok" he whispered. "Sorry".

"Don't be" I whispered, pushing his hair out of his face. "I love you".

"I love you too" he whispered. "I was getting worried".

"Why?" I asked, curiously.

"Because it's now gone midnight, and I haven't seen you since six this morning" he said, gripping my waist tighter.

"Possessive are we?" I smirked. He raised his eyebrow at me. "No, Dawlish made me do loads of his paperwork after the raids today". He pulled me in for a hug and I didn't resist, it felt so good to be with Remus. Sounds stupid, but when I'm with him I feel all fuzzy and warm. Complete. Man, I've gone soppy.

"Aww baby, surely you can come home now? I miss you. And you have to be up later" Remus said, stroking my hair away from my face. "I still prefer pink".

"I don't wear it pink for work anymore. One, because the Ministry doesn't deserve it's awesomeness". He smirked. "And two, it makes me stand out too much. Which at the moment is not a good thing".

"That bad?" he asked.

"You know it is, I tell you everyday".

"Yeah, well, I live in hope that it'll get better" he whispered. "I don't like the idea of you being here".

"It's my job" I shrugged. "And it's not to bad now, just a lot of prejudice sorts and gossipers but... I don't like the Ministry as much as I used to".

"Come home" he whispered. "I - need you. Today is going to be - really hard" he was struggling with his words. I put my finger to his lips, and smiled reassuringly.

"Ok, I'll come home. I've been slaving all night, doing stupid reports, and hearing voices so I think I deserve to go home" I smirked, but his face fell. "What is it?"

"Hearing voices?" he asked.

"Yeah, but thats probably lack of sleep" I said, trying to act like it was no big deal. He didn't look convinced. "Hey, it's probably all in my head. I told you this place would drive me insane". He still looked at me with doubt. "Hey, if you don't stop it, I will stay here and you will go home by yourself".

"Will I?" he asked, and before I knew what was happening he'd picked me up around the waist and threw me over his shoulder.

"Remus. Remus put me down. Remus-" giggle "-put me-" giggle "-down".

"Nope" he said, happily, carrying me towards the lift. "Your coming home whether you like it or not". I smiled and stopped struggling, when a random thought popped into my head. When I was on my own in the flat it was just 'my flat', but now Remus had moved in (yes, he moved in!) it really was turning into a home. And home is exactly where we went.

It was early morning, the sun was just coming up, the birds were singing and the muggles below were shouting at one another and beeping the horns of there cars. I stared out the window as the kettle boiled. I'd set up two cups of coffee, gotten washed and dressed, and was now contemplating the day ahead.

This day felt so normal, it didn't feel like anything had changed. It didn't feel like we were going to a funeral at all. I didn't think it was fair that everyone could go about there daily lives while the wizarding world said goodbye to the greatest wizard who ever lived. The kettle whistled and clicked off. I turned and picked it up, before pouring the water into the cups and sighing. Remus was still asleep, and I would now have to wake him up, knowing how much he had dreaded this day. I picked up the coffee, turned away from the window and made my way towards our bedroom.

When I got in the room, Remus was lying on his front with the quilt just up to his waist, his arms by his head gripping the pillow and his head turned away from me. He was breathing evenly which told me he was still asleep. I put the coffees down on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Remus" I said, softly, running my left hand through his hair. "Remus, time to wake up".

"Tired" I heard him mutter. I continued to stroke his hair.

"I know, but you have to get ready. It's almost time" I whispered. He sighed and turned his head towards me, whilst propping himself up on his elbows.

"I don't know what to say" he whispered, looking uncomfortable.

"You don't have to say anything, I understand" I said. "I brought you some coffee and your clothes are hanging up in my wardrobe, and I've used the bathroom so it's free for you now". I got up from the bed and made to leave, but he grabbed my hand and I turned back round.

"Thank you" he whispers. I sit back down on the bed and lean in, before giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"You don't need to thank me".

I left the room to let him get dressed and sat on my kitchen side so I could look out of the window again. Part of me was calm and composed, the other part wanted to burst out crying and punch something. I had never been to a funeral before, and I didn't know what to expect. I had a vague idea of what might happen, but still...

Dumbledore was a great man from start to finish, there was no denying it. I was sent to his office multiple times when I was in Hogwarts for various offences, and he was always very patient and sometimes he laughed at my antics, and one Christmas he'd asked me to do something festive with my hair to 'brighten up the castle a bit'. I smiled at the memory. A memory I hadn't thought on in a long time. It made me feel happy and sad at the same time. I looked at the hallway leading to our room, and knew Remus must be doing this also. Going through old memories in his head. But his must be worse; Dumbledore had let him into Hogwarts, he was the first person to ever trust Remus, he gave him a job when no-one else would have and he always respected Remus though others looked down on him. I wanted to be able to help Remus, but I'd come to realize that the only way to do that was to stand by his side and stay strong. So that's what I'd do.

"Ready to go?". I looked up at the entrance to my kitchen and saw Remus standing there, his eyes a little red, tugging at his clothes. I jumped down from the side and made my way over to him. I turned down his collar and slapped his hand away from the loose piece of thread that he'd pulled from the bottom of his shirt. If I was honest, it was like I was dealing with a child, but I didn't mind. Everyone coped in there own way. I started to wonder what my way was, put on a brave face and bottle everything up until I couldn't do it any longer? Yeah, sounds about right.

"Come on" I said, holding out my hand. He slipped his hand into mine and squeezed lightly. "Time to go".

Like with any important day, you never really remember how you got there, just that you were there. Me and Remus were walking side by side up Hogwarts lawns, towards the lake. It was the most beautiful summer's day I'd ever seen, and I almost felt as if the weather was playing it's part for Dumbledore. Completely ridiculous of course, but then so am I.

When we got to the lake we found hundreds of chairs lined up in rows, facing a large marble table which was up the front. There was a aisle in the middle of the chairs that ran to it. I looked around but there weren't many people here yet. The only people I recognized were Ernie Pang, driver of the Knight Bus, the lady who pushed the food trolley on the Hogwarts Express, Tom, landlord of the Leaky Cauldron and Abrella Figg who was a member of the Order of the Phoenix. As I got closer though I noticed two familiar faces. Kingsley Shacklebolt and Mad-eye Moody were sitting together, several rows from the front.

"Remus" I muttered, but he'd already spotted them and nodded to me. We made our way over, and took seats next to them. They nodded and smiled small smiles to us as we sat down. None of us spoke for several long minutes.

"It's a beautiful day" commented Kingsley, quietly. We all nodded in agreement. None of us really knew what to say, it was awkward. I looked out over the lake and remembered Dumbledore, what he looked like and how he talked. The twinkle in his eyes when he was amused, and the fury when he was particularly angry about something. He always seemed to have the answers, or if he didn't, he knew the right thing to say. It didn't seem right that he'd gone, it hadn't really sunk in, but now that we were here...

"Oh Nymphadora, don't blubber yet" said Mad-eye.

"I ain't blubbering" I said, wiping my cheek with my sleeve.

"She's allowed to cry if she wants to" said Kingsley. Remus put his arm around me and squeezed me closer to him.

"Thank you" I said. "Mad-eye, are you going to cry?".

"Why are we talking about this?" he asked. I poked him in the side.

"Ow" he muttered. We all looked at one another, trying to keep straight faces, but in the end we couldn't. All four of us laughed.

"This is what Dumbledore would have wanted, wouldn't have wanted people getting all worked up. He'd have wanted us to remember the good things, and keep them close as we kept on fighting" said Mad-eye.

"I'm sure he would" said Remus. I slipped my hand into his and he held on tight. More people began to arrive. Madam Maxine was up front taking up two and a half chairs on her own, Umbridge was just arriving and sat in the front row wearing an unconvincing look of grief on her ugly toad like face. Remus squeezed my hand a little too hard at the sight of her, and quickly apologized as I hissed in pain. Next Molly, Arthur, Bill and Fleur filed into the row behind us, followed by Fred and George who seemed to be wearing black jackets made of dragonskin. As they were settling in the students arrived and began seating themselves. I spotted Harry, Hermione, Ginny and Ron and nudged Remus. He looked over and then looked back at me.

"Poor Harry" he whispered.

"He's tough" was my only reply, and it seemed to be enough.

I watched as Cornelius Fudge strolled by, and nearly laughed when Umbridge started at the sight of Firenze and scurried a good distance away. I was infuriated to see Rita Skeeter sitting there, with her quill and parchment out. Remus seemed to sense this and squeezed my hand. I looked at him and he shook his head. I sighed and caught the eye of Fleur sitting next to Bill. She smiled sadly and waved, which caught the attention of Molly who also waved at me. I waved back, so then of course Remus turned to see what I was looking at and smiled. I turned back to the front, as the staff were finally seated.

Then I heard music, otherworldly music. It was strange but beautiful at the same time. I looked around, trying to determine the source of the music, when Remus whispered in my ear; "Look at the lake". I looked and saw merpeople singing in there own language, just below the waters shimmering surface. The song, though I could not understand the words, spoke very clearly of loss and despair. I looked away, towards the aisle, where Hagrid was walking, crying silently, and carrying Dumbledore's body wrapped in purple velvet spangled with stars. I suddenly went cold, like all warmth had gone from the sun. Knowing he was that close, but he was...

A sharp pain rose in my throat as tears began falling from my eyes. Hagrid placed Dumbledore's body on the marble table, and made his way back up the aisle. I turned to Remus, whose face was streaked with tears as more fell from his eyes. I put my other hand on top of our joined ones, and stroked his hand gently with my thumb. He looked at me for a second, then let his head rest on the side of mine, and looked back at the front. My lips trembled.

Elphias Dodge then got up, dressed in smart Black robes and began to address the mourners. What he was saying, I couldn't be quite certain of. I could hear it, but it seemed to be going over my head. I only caught the odd phrase. Things like 'Nobility of Spirit' ... 'Intellectual Contribution' ... 'Greatness of the Heart'. They didn't really mean much to me, not really. Too me he was a kind, brave, patient man, who was intelligent yes, but he used his mind for good. I bit my lip and looked away, just as a soft splashing noise announced that the merpeople had broken the surface of the water to listen aswell. I looked out over the lake and towards the forest, where the centaurs were standing in the shadows. I looked back down at the table, Elphias had stopped talking now and was sitting down, when people screamed as it burst into flames. I jumped violently, which caused my head to bash into Remus's but instead of moaning, Remus chuckled under his breath and I apologized quietly. He pulled my head onto his shoulder and I felt him rest his chin on top of it.

The white marble tomb had come out of the flames and now encased Dumbledore's body and the table which it rested on. The centaurs raised there bows and showered the air with arrows, making several people cry with shock again, even though they fell short of the crowd. They then disappeared, as did the merpeople who sank back into the watery depths of which they'd came.

It was over. It was like we had been put into a trance, because people seemed to have woke up. Some wriggled in their seats, and began chatting quietly with their neighbors. Others, mainly the students, got up from their seats and made there way back to the castle or just walked away, looking like they had nowhere in particular to go. I lifted my head off of Remus's shoulder, and rubbed my eyes. His face was soaked with tears but he was no longer crying.

"Hey" I muttered.

"Hey" he said. "How you feeling?".

"Numb" I replied. "You?".

"Same".

"I don't know what to say" I muttered, giving a nervous laugh.

"I don't think anyone does" he whispered. "But you know whats better than words?".

"What?".

"A hug?" he suggested, and I smiled, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him close. He rested his head on my shoulders and breathed deeply. I rubbed his back with my hand and held him tightly for a minute before we pulled apart slightly. I looked up at his face, and leaned in, brushing his lips lightly with mine. His parted slightly as he kissed me slowly. As the kiss ended, he smiled at me, and I looked around at everyone who was left, slightly dazed. I looked down at the Minister who seemed to be storming away from Harry towards the Ministry delegation standing by the lake. I looked around at the near enough empty seats, and spotted Ginny, sitting by herself, staring at the lake with a facial expression that was nothing less than distraught.

"Go over there" Remus whispered, and I turned back to him.

"What about you?" I asked.

"I'll be fine, I need to speak to Arthur anyway. Besides, it looks like Ginny needs someone right now" he said, gesturing to the sad girl. I bit my lip.

"You sure you'll be ok?" I asked.

"I'll be fine, Dora. Now go on" he whispered. "Before Molly sees". I nearly laughed as I got up, smiled at him, then made my way down the aisle to get to her seat. I made my way along the lake's edge to get to her seat, and sat down quietly next to her. I waited for her to make the first move.

"It's a sad day today, isn't it?" she asked, vaguely, not looking at me.

"It is" I agreed.

"I still can't quite believe it happened. I mean, I know it happened, but it just hasn't-".

"Sunk in?" I answered, and she nodded, biting her lip. "Ginny" I said, holding out my arms. She turned and nearly threw herself into them. As I held her close her shoulders began to shake as she sobbed on my shoulder. I waited till she had calmed down a bit before I asked her what was wrong.

"I'm at a funeral" she ventured, pulling away, but I could tell that wasn't the only reason, and even she seemed to realize that was a poor excuse.

"You and I both know that's not the only thing that's upset you" I said. "Want to talk about it?"

"Maybe. But not yet. Later" she whispered. "Are you coming to ours tonight?" she asked.

"Might be, not sure" I said, vaguely.

"Please come. I think-, I think I'd like to tell you then. But I just need to have some thinking time first. The journey home should be enough".

"Okay, I'll be there when you get home ok? Then we can talk" I said, and she hugged me again.

"Thank you Tonks" she said. "You can bring Professor Lupin if ya like".

"Oh I can, can I? How very gracious of you Ginny" I replied, smiling widely. She gave a watery chuckled then looked at me seriously.

"You look a lot better from the last time I saw you".

"I feel a lot better too" I said. "Anyway, shouldn't you be getting your stuff together? You board the train in about half an hour".

"Yeah suppose. Looks like mums trying to get your attention" she said, nodding her head towards where the Weasley's were standing.

"I better go then" I muttered, rolling my eyes. "I shall see you later".

"Yes you shall" she said, "thanks". Then she walked away towards the castle, and I made my way towards the Weasley's, Remus, Mad-eye and Kingsley.

"Hello Dear" greeted Molly, pulling me into a hug.

"Hey Molly, Arthur. You getting better then Bill?" I asked.

"Yeah, I feel much better thanks. Shouldn't we all be getting a move on? The kids will be leaving soon and we need to be home when they arrive" said Bill.

"Oh yes" said Molly, jumpily. "Tonks dear, I've already invited Remus and you round for dinner, but..."

"I said it was up to you" Remus cut in, taking my hand. I squeezed it back.

"It's fine by me, besides, Ginny already invited me" I grinned. Molly tutted happily, but bustled away, shooing Fred and George with her. The rest of us followed on, making our way into Hogsmead to we could apparate to the Burrow. As I walked along side Remus, hand in hand, I couldn't help but worry. Worry about Ginny and what she wasn't telling me, worry about how Remus was really, worry about the state of the wizarding world and what was to come. I sighed sadly, and Remus nudged my hand to get my attention.

"Whats on your mind?" he asked, curiously. I smiled and lent up, placing a small kiss on his cheek.

"Nothing".

"I don't believe you" he stated.

"You don't have too". He glared at me, and I recoiled thinking fast. "Umm, well, I was thinking umm... I need to see my parents soon. And you have to come with".

"Ok, I'll bite. Are you sure thats a good idea?" he asked.

"Why not? Your my boyfriend now" I said, happily.

"Hmmm... aren't I a little old to be called your boyfriend?" he asked, just as we were about to apparate. We'd reached Hogsmead.

"Well, you'll just have to marry me then" I said, cockily, kissing him on the cheek. "See ya". I turned and apparated away before I could get his reaction on what I'd just said. Why did I have to say that? Of all the possible responses, why that one? 'You'll just have to marry me then' ... stupid, stupid Tonks!

When we got back to the Burrow, Molly gave us all some tea, and even though Remus was sitting beside me with his arm around my waist, I refused to look at him. I knew it was silly, but I couldn't help it. When the time came to pick the kids up from the station, Molly shooed all the men out to go collect them, while Molly, Fleur and I had some 'girl time'. As soon as they'd left, Molly and Fleur sat on the opposite side of the table from me, like in an interview. I gulped worriedly.

"Hello" I said, nervously. They both burst out laughing, and I looked on in wonder.

"You look terrified Tonks" said Molly. "We're not DeathEaters you know".

"And we haven't got much time, either" said Fleur, "so...".

"We wanted to know how your date went" said Molly, hurriedly. She looked more like an excited school girl than anything else. I almost laughed.

"It was amazing, thank you" I said, smiling. "But do you really think today of all days is the time to be discussing it?".

"But of course, we cannot wallow in sadness forever" said Fleur, throatily.

"Ok, I guess you have a point".

"Of course I 'ave" she said, smugly.

"Ok, well, it was amazing. No, scratch that, beyond amazing. It was the most romantic date I've ever been on, and we've been getting on so well, and I love him so much but-".

"But. But what? There shouldn't be a but" said Molly, quickly. I giggled.

"Molly".

"Well, I'm excited for you. And that but didn't sound good".

I sighed. "But I said something stupid earlier, and I think I may have ruined things".

"What did you say?".

"I practically asked him to marry me" I whispered. Both there jaws formed dropped, and they stared at me shocked just as several pops were heard from outside. The men were back with the kids. Thank the lord for that! Remus came straight over to me when he came in, and kissed me full on the lips. My eyes widened in surprise. As everyone else filed into the kitchen carrying luggage, I whispered to Remus.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"Everything" he said, and I smiled. Bill came down from upstairs as Molly went to start dinner, and the bustle began. I looked around the room and saw Ginny standing near the door. She made eye contact with me for a minute, then left the house into the yard. I quickly made my excuses to Remus then ran out.

When I reached Ginny, she was standing at the edge of the yard, leaning on the fence with her back to me. I saw her shoulders rise and fall as I made my way towards her, and leaned on the fence too, clasping my hands in front of me. I looked at the countryside view for a second before asking, "are you going to tell me whats happened Gin?".

She turned her face towards me, and I saw tears streaking down her face. Suddenly, everything else went out of my head because it was no longer important. What was important now was Ginny, and whatever had upset her.

"I know there's things to be sad about, and that I have to think about Dumbledore, but at the moment... I can't. I just can't! All I can think about is Harry, and those words going over and over in my head. I hate it Tonks, I don't want to show it, but I can't stand it" she wailed.

"What words Gin?" I asked, softly, dreading the answer.

"He broke up with me" she said. It was so blunt that I couldn't help blurt out...

"Why!"

TBC...

**I know I was really late in posting this, but I have so much on with College at the moment, and work, that spare/free time is very rare. Also, I am constantly being interrupted by my 4 year old sister Alisha, who's favorite hobby is jumping on my bed while I'm trying to write. Please forgive me, and bare with the slower than usual updates! Luv you all!**

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	52. Child's Play

_Ok, so I've been so busy with all my college work and job hunting that my chapter updates are a little slow. I have had to think long and hard about all the aspects in my life I have to juggle and have come up with a solution... I will try to update once a month! That probably the best I can do, i'm still writing but my studies (unfortunately) have to come first. _

_This chapter is a bit of girl time, and a lot of fluff**. **_

_Disclaimer: As always, I do not own Harry Potter._

**Child's Play  
**

_"Why?"_

Ginny looked at me for a second, as if contemplating the answer, and trying to find the right way to put it. In all honesty, I hadn't seen it coming. Then again, I'd been blind to most of what was going on around me over the past year.

"He said that the last few weeks with me had been like something out of someone elses life with me, but he's got to do things alone now. He says V-Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to, and that it's to dangerous for us to see eachother because if it was my funeral..." she trailed off, as she choked back a sob. I instinctively put my arms around her and rubbed her arm. She seemed to take comfort from it and calmed down quickly to continue talking. "I don't care Tonks, I really don't. I don't care how dangerous it is, I just want to be with him".

"I know Gin, I know".

"How do you know?" she said, sniffing. It wasn't said as a snappy retort, but more a gentle question. She wanted to know why I knew, and I guess it was time I told her. She was like a little sister to me after all.

"It's hard to explain" I muttered, running a hand through my hair. a classic sign of nervousness. "Ok, do you remember in the hospital win the night bill was attacked?" I mentally added 'when Dumbledore died' but I didn't want to say it out loud. stuff like that was very hard to say out loud. "Well, do you remember when I went kinda crazy mad at Remus?".

"Yeah, it shocked us quite a bit. I don't think anyone suspected that you'd fancy Professor Lupin" she said.

"And why's that?" I asked, curiously.

"I don't know, but you never can imagine your professor's having personal lives. A bit like how you can't imagine your mum and dad-".

"Ok, I get your meaning" I said, cutting her off before I heard any more. She giggled. "Want me to continue".

"Yes" she said, in such a way that implied 'duh'.

"I love Remus. I'm not sure when it happened, but it happened. I buried my feelings for a year, or tried to, until I found out Remus was going away on a mission and confronted him. What happened next still confuses me, but all I knew was one minute he says he loves me and then the next he says that he's too dangerous to be with me. He's too old for me, he can't support me and he might hurt me" I sighed. "We had an argument, and then he left for his mission and I was left broken hearted. Sounds a bit pathetic, eh?"

"No, not at all" she muttered. "So since then...?"

"Since then I became depressed, and I couldn't morph and I felt miserable everyday" I could hear myself choke, but I carried on. "I tried throwing myself into work, and burying my head in the sand, anything I could think of. I wanted to forget. At times I was so angry at him that I wanted to scream and throw things, sometimes I just cried silently in my room, but I always loved him. And then, the battle came around, and after everything that happened, I just snapped. Fleur's words sort of- went round in my head like they were trying to make me do something, so I did".

"And he came back to you, right?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah, yeah he did" I said, "Harry really loves you, he'll come back to you in the end". I sniffed and she wrapped her arms around me. I wrapped mine around her tightly and we hugged eachother for several painfully silent minutes.

"I think your brave" whispered Ginny.

"I was selfish" I muttered.

"No you weren't. You were just so upset that it was all you could think about" she said, seeming to know where i'd been going.

"Your a smart kid, you know that?" I asked. She pulled away and grinned.

"I know" she beamed widely and I rolled my eyes, tugging on a lock of her hair playfully. She nudged me in the ribs. "Sooo, when are you and the Professor getting married?". She was smirking, and I growled, putting my head into my hands.

"Sorry, didn't mean to offend" she said.

"You didn't. It's not you".

"What is it then?" she asked, "come on, you can tell me. I am your little sister after all".

"Just as we were leaving Hogwarts, I told Remus that he should marry me. I don't know why I said it, it just came out. And now I feel like an idiot" I said, and she looked at me with her mouth twisted and her brows together.

"Don't you want to marry him then?" she asked.

"Of course I do" I said, immediately. "I love him, but he may not want to marry me. I mean, it's took him this long to just be my partner...".

"But he's here, with you, right now. And that's what matters right? It doesn't matter how long it takes for a relationship to form" she said, with certainty. "And you, Nymphadora, need to lighten up a bit more. We all do, if were to survive what is happening in the world".

"Ok, I'll promise to lighten up" I said. "I'll come over in the summer and see you if you'd like? And thanks, for listening to me".

"Your welcome, and thanks for listening to me" she said. I smiled and pulled her into another hug as we heard Molly's voice drift across the yard from the house. she was calling us for dinner.

"Better go in before mum goes crazy" said Ginny, turning towards the house. I followed alongside her as we strolled towards the Burrow. I always liked the look of the Burrow, it was quirky and homely. Like my old house, before we moved... I snapped out of my thoughts when Ginny nudged me. Remus was standing at the door, smiling towards us.

"You two better get in quick, Molly's fussing".

"Why?" I asked, as we got closer to him.

"Fred and George were trying to help" he said, in a way of explanation.

"Oh dear, mums probably in a mood then, the last time they tried to help with dinner we were scraping bits of egg and bacon from the walls for weeks" commented Ginny lightly, making me laugh. When I reached Remus, I stopped in front of him, and Ginny cleared her throat. "Ummm, i'll just go inside Tonks, see you both in a minute. And thanks" she smiled sadly, before entering the house and shutting the door behind her. Remus wrapped his arms around my waist the moment she was gone and looked me in the eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, quietly.

"It will probably be known soon enough, but until she tells her family herself you mustn't say anything. Although, Ron probably knows" I pondered.

"Knows what?" asked Remus, looking slightly confused.

"Harry broke up with Ginny today" I said, softly

"Ah, right" he said, softly. "Did he give a reason why?".

"Yeah, he said it was because she'd get targeted by Voldemort for being with him" I said, quietly. "I mean, it makes sense, but she's really cut up over it. I don't know what to do, I don't like seeing her upset and i'm actually quite annoyed with Harry right now".

"Don't blame him Dora, he's just doing what he believes is right by Ginny" he said, softly, cupping my cheeks with his hands. My hands flew to my hips in a defensive gesture, and I looked him hard in the eye.

"Is that a dig, Mr Lupin?". But instead of replying, he pulled me closer and kissed my lips softly. I moved my arms up his chest and kissed him back, moaning as he pushed me against the Burrows wall. Just as things were about to go too far, the door to the Burrow opened and Bill came out.

"Are you two - Oh Merlin, seriously... sorry ummm, yeah" he said, awkwardly, before quickly re-entering the Burrow. Both me and Remus looked at eachother and laughed.

"That was your fault" I said, pushing him playfully.

"Excuse me, but who was the one who un-done my top three buttons?" he replied, and I only just noticed him doing them up. Ok, so I admit, maybe I got a bit carried away.

"Buttons are meant to be undone, that's why they were invented" I replied, cheekily.

"If you say so" I said, raising his eyebrow. "Come on, we better get in there".

Having dinner at the Burrow that night was fairly uneventful, Ginny smiled very little and was quiet through most of it and her family kept giving her concerned looks every so often. Also, over dinner the Order briefly decided on having a meeting tomorrow night, to determine the best way to get Harry to the Burrow for Bill and Fleur's wedding.

I sat next to Remus, holding his hand under the table and chewing my food contently. He kept nudging me every so often and smiling mysteriously at me like he knew something I didn't. After the fifth time of doing it I kicked him under the table (lightly!) and he spluttered his food down him in surprise. I promptly burst into a fit of giggles and had to make it up to him that night.

* * *

"You shrunk me!" I screamed, standing on my desk. I was titchy and he had to kneel on the floor to get eye level with me.

"Might want to speak up a bit, I can't hear you" My hair turned bright red as I glared at him. "Well, at least we still know your magic still work. You look like one of those Barbie dolls my sister used to have, only a lot smaller" he said.

"You shrunk me!" I screamed again. "Fix it!".

"I don't know how" said Mark, pouting. "I wasn't meant to shrink you, haven't you got your wand?".

"Yes, I have, the only problem is-" I heaved my wand from the desk and stood it next to me, "-that it's the same size as me" I snapped.

"Oh dear, erm, ok Tonks i'll go get Jacob. He might no how to reverse it" said Mark, standing up nervously. "Just stay there".

"Where else could I possibly go" I snapped. "Go now. Quickly, I have a meeting in ten minutes". He nodded and raced out of the room. I let my wand drop back on the desk and it banged so loud (to me anyway) that I jumped high in the air and landed on my bum. I crossed my arms and legs sulkily. It was a couple of days since Dumbledore's funeral, and after the funeral, when we were at the Burrow, we'd decided to have a meeting on this day so that we were all prepared for Harry. We knew he had his own plans but he was coming to the Burrow for Bill and Fleur's wedding. We just had to decide when and how. And now look at me, a walking talking Barbie doll. How could I possibly got to the meeting like this.

But just then, I heard something that could only make this nightmare worse...

"Daddy, daddy, come and get me" giggled a little girl from somewhere outside my office. Mark hadn't shut the door, I was in full view. Please don't look in here, I chanted in my head. "Ooh, look, a dolly". Too late. Mark I am so going to kill you. She ran into my office and picked me up off the desk, I felt all the air leave my lungs as she squeezed me.

"Little girl, can't breathe" I choked out. She gasped.

"Dolly talks!" she squealed running out of my office with me. "Daddy, can I keep her?". But her dad was paying much attention, his head was buried in a long roll of parchment that he was checking off.

"As long as you go back to my office and play quietly" he said, not really paying attention, before muttering "Why she had to come in today of all days, curse her stupid mother..." he walked off. I felt kinda sorry for the girl, until she squeezed me again and began skipping down the hall, jabbering away.

"Come on Dolly, what's your name? We can have a tea party with Professor Cuddles and Mr. Quacks, won't that be fun?" she asked, now entering a small office. On the desk sat a giant yellow duck in a black suit and a fluffy brown bear who was dressed like Abraham Lincoln. There was a small pink tea set between them. "Daddy says I can play here, but we mustn't touch his stuff" the little girl sighed.

"Look, little girl" I had to shout. "My name's Nymphadora, and i'm not a doll. I was shrunk by accident and I really need to get back to my office". The girl looked at me with wide wet eyes as she placed me on the table, her lip began to tremble.

"You gonna leave me to?" she mumbled. "Everybody leaves me, Mummy don't want me around, and Daddy to busy. It not fair, I wanna play tea party, but nobody play with me" and then she began to cry. Oh no!

"No, no don't cry little girl, ummm, i'll play tea party with you" I said, hastily. She instantly stopped crying, and beamed at me.

"You will?".

"Yes" I said. "But only if you promise that you'll take me back to my office afterwards".

"Ok" she mumbled, nodding.

"Umm, what's your name?" I asked. If I knew that, maybe I could find whose office I was in. She sat down at the desk and I walked over to the big brown bear and settled myself against him.

"Lilly" she answered. That helped. "Would you like some tea?" she said, holding up at plastic kettle.

"I would love some, but make sure you have some left for Mr. Quack and Professor Cuddles?" I said, guessing that i'd heard the names right.

"I will" she trilled. "Ooh, can I dress you up?" she said, excitedly. "I have some pretty dresses in my play bag".

"I don't think that's such a good idea" I said, leaning forwards on the plastic tea cup that I could have used for a bath. Damn, I was tiny. Her lip began to tremble again, god this girl was good at manipulating people. "Ok, ok, you can dress me up just, be gentle alright?" she nodded happily and ran to the other side of the room. I looked towards the door. Please somebody come and get me.

That was it, I was killing Mark. This girl was anything but sweet! I was dressed up in a bright sunshine yellow dress, with frills all over it and tiny sunshine yellow heels. My hair had been pulled into two vicious bunches with bright red ribbons. She had brushed my hair for ten minutes straight with an awful cat brush, and half my hair had been yanked out onto the brush and desk. It was bad enough that I was a pretty doll, I didn't want to be a bald one too.

But still, things were even worse than that. After several cups of imaginary tea, I tried to leave and get back to my office, but she had turned nasty. She pulled a roll of sticky tape out of nowhere and tied me to the quill pot on the desk. I was squished between 'Professor Cuddles' and 'Mr. Quack'. How humiliating. Part of me wanted someone to find me so I would be free of this nightmare, but part of me wanted them to stay away so I didn't have to face the embarrassment. What would Remus say if he saw his girlfriend like this, oh, I would never live it down! Mark, I - WILL - KILL - YOU!

"Um, Lily? Can you please unstick me now?".

"Nope. You'll be my dolly for ever and ever" she squealed, turning away so she could play with something on the chair. Oh god, give me DeathEaters any day, this is hell! I struggled to get free, before realising that it wasn't me that was stuck, it was my dress. Oh god, no, I can't do it. I'm not that desperate. But then I heard the little girl laugh evilly with her back to me. Oh yes I was. I quickly slipped my arms out and squeezed in, before sliding out of the dress, and gasping for breath. The tape was tighter than I thought. I was now standing in my bra and knickers, excellent. Where did that - that - devil child - put my clothes?

I couldn't find them, this could not be happening! I looked back at the girl, then at the dress that was still stuck to the cellotape. It might be easier to get out now that I wasn't in it. I had two choices, one: escape now while in my underwear or two: Grab the dress (somehow) and become 'Barbie On The Run!'. I chose the latter.

Getting the dress from the sticky tape was easier than I thought, though it had a few pulls in it now, I slipped back on and ran across the desk. Standing at the edge of the desk I looked back and saw the girl stretch and shudder before resting her head on the chair and began to feebly stroke the 'something' on the chair. I didn't stick around to find out what it was. As I finally got off the desk and through the crack in the door, I ran quickly to get away from the room but was dimly aware that I didn't know where I was. But it didn't matter, I kept running, just incase the little girl decided to turn around and find I wasn't there.

Before long I'd ran as far as my little legs could carried me and leaned against an office door, trying to catch my breath. How people hadn't noticed me weaving in and out of there legs I didn't know, but I was grateful all the same. Gotta love human ignorance.

"She's around here somewhere" said a voice from above me. I stopped breathing for a second before turning around to see Mark and Jacob walking towards me, his want pointed in front of him. It was glowing orange. Ah, the tracking spell, very clever. I'm still going to kill you though Mark.

"Well, she can't be far, it's glowing very bright now" said Mark. "Oh, i'm such an idiot".

"I have to agree" smirked Jacob.

"I second that" I called up to them and they both stopped and looked down.

"Found you" said Mark.

"Jacob, change me back please" I called, and he pointed his wand at me. One minute I was looking up at them, and the next I was standing right next to them, normal sized, but with a splitting headache. I clutched my head in pain.

"Tonks, where'd you go? You said you'd wait in your cubicle" asked Mark, and I turned to glare feebly at him. My head was pounding.

"I was kidnapped by the devil" I answered. "And my head is killing me".

"Side effect" muttered Jacob. "Why are you wearing a dress?".

"I went to a tea party" I muttered, they both looked confused. I didn't blame them, I was confused too. "I'll explain later, i'm going to go change into the robes in my cubicle then i'm signing myself off for the day. On the grounds of mental trauma. Oh and Mark, if your in tomorrow, watch your back" I growled. "Thanks Jacob" I called as I stalked off. I just wanted out of here.

When I got back to my office I found that I only had one robe which I could slip over the top of the dress but I couldn't replace the dress with it. Thinking fast, I grabbed my wand from my desk and transfigured the dress into a yellow tank top (from the top layer of the dress), white skinny jeans (from the underside of the dress) and flip flops (with the left over bits). All in all I was quite proud of myself, and as I looked at the clock I decided being late wasn't a bad idea. After all, I was meant to be working, so they couldn't really complain. I exited my office and walked casually down the corridor trying to regain the bit of dignity that the dress lost me.

* * *

"Your late" was the first thing Mad-eye pointed out when I walked into the Burrow's kitchen. I looked around and saw that the whole Order, or what was left of it, was here. Hestia, Diggle, Mad-eye, Kingsley, Arthur, Bill, The twins, Molly, Ron and Hermione. It was very cramped in this tiny space and when I looked again, I noticed someone very important was missing.

"Where's Remus?" I asked.

"We thought he'd be with you" said Bill.

"We're not joined at the hip" I said, rolling my eyes. The way Bill had said it implied that we never left eachother alone. "And anyway, I was at work". I went and sat down next to Hermione at the table. She smiled happily to me and I smiled back. Just then the door opened and Remus walked in smiling to himself.

"Sorry i'm late" he said, "had something to take care of". He shared a look with Molly before looking at me and coming to sit next to me. I was about to ask him what he was doing, but Mad-eye interrupted.

"No worries, Nymphadora was late as well and were still waiting on Mundungus" said Mad-eye. "Anyway..." Mad-eye started addressing everyone, and Remus leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"Why were you late?"

"Could ask you the same thing" I whispered back. "I'll tell you later, and I expect fair exchange".

"I can't promise that" he whispered back. A stab of hurt ran through my body, but I ignored it and turned my attention to Mad-eye.

"As we are all aware, Bill and Fleur will be married on the 1st of August and they wish to have Harry present and quite frankly, I think we all would feel better the sooner he was away from the Dursley's. We have to decide when and how we will be getting him here, any suggestions" he asked, though clearly he had his own. Probably wanted to bring Harry to the Burrow via Greenland. I remember Bill had made that remark two years ago when we'd first brought Harry to Grimmauld Place. Sirius was there, back then...

"I think side-long apparation would be the best option for the time being, all things considered. I wouldn't trust the floo network as far as I could throw it and setting up a portkey under the present climate would be downright idiotic" said Kingsley, in his deep voice.

"Why side long apparation though? Isn't it just as bad?" asked Bill.

"No" I said, quickly. "Not many people realise how easily someone can slip away by apparating. It leaves no trace what-so-ever, whereas with flooing or taking a portkey there is a way of tracing the individuals destination". Everyone but Kingsley, Mad-eye and Arthur looked at me stunned. I couldn't see Remus, as he was behind me and I was leaning against him. I shrugged. "I know things".

"Both Tonks and Kingsley are right, side-long apparation would be the best bet. Circumstances permitting of course" said Arthur, reasonably.

"Circumstances?" queried Ron.

"What dad means is that the Ministry can keep tabs on apparation and put restrictions on certain areas even if there destination is unknown. Also Harry still has the trace on him, which is tricky, but there are ways around it. Still, the Ministry might feel obliged to poke there noses in" answered Bill. I snorted at that. When had the Ministry ever not felt the need to stick there noses in?

"But why would they do that?" asked Ron again. Hermione sighed beside him.

"I'm guessing that they feel the Ministry is untrustworthy and there might be people trying to infiltrate it".

"Got it on one Hermione" I said. "Though there are a few of us inside that are trying our best to keep those who wish to destroy us at bay" I said, uneasily.

"The Ministry will fall, it is now only a matter of when" said Kingsley, solemnly. Everyone looked down right depressed at these words and I felt it. I had been in the Ministry for only a few days, occasionally out on cases, and had already started to notice things. Whispers, gossip, rumours. Some person from some department disappearing or doing things that were a cause for suspicion and alarm. But that's all it was, whispers. Mum and Dad had contacted me yesterday telling me to keep safe and contact them if I needed anything, anything at all. I had told them about Remus and I, and they seemed happy enough with it, although dad had warned me that mum WOULD turn up out of the blue sometime soon and interrogate us. I was dreading it and even though Remus didn't show it, I knew he was too. My brain whizzed away into the world of questions and if they didn't like him? What if mum disapproved? Have I actually been spending enough time on my family? No I haven't and I should have been, but i'll make up for it. It's only been this year that i've been distant. And they love me, I'll see them soon...

"Tonks? Tonks".

"Dora" Remus nudged me, and I jerked upright.

"Entered back into reality then Nymphadora?" barked Mad-eye.

"Yes thank you Mad-eye" I replied, chirpily, though I felt slightly foolish.

"Moving on, we have an idea of how we're transporting Harry, we just have to decide when" said Mad-eye.

"Obviously before ze wedding, why not ez birthday" said Fleur, shrugging, while flipping through a magazine.

"His birthday would be too tricky, there is an enchantment over his home that breaks when he becomes of age. His mother's charm. Once that is broken then Voldemort himself will be able to find him, along with Inferi, Dementors, Deatheaters..."

"Yes, we get it Mad-eye" I hissed as I noticed Hermione shudder and Molly's face drop. "But we need to break the enchantment anyway, is there no other way?".

"When Harry no longer calls that house a 'Home' then the enchantment will break" said Remus.

"So theoretically, we could bring Harry to the Burrow before his birthday and the enchantment would break, but not after because of the wedding and Voldemort" I summed up, smiling at how i'd put the wedding first. The wrath of Fleur against Voldemort if Harry missed the wedding... "What about his family?"

"We have to get them away from there, Voldemort may try to use them to get to Harry" said Hestia, we all knew what she meant so she didn't have to explain. "We can take them to a safe location, provide them with a safe house and some of the Order could protect them from any possible threat".

"Sounds like a good idea" said Bill.

"Hear hear" squeaked Diggle.

"Shouldn't someone go to Privet Drive and explain the situation to both Harry and his aunt and uncle?" asked Fred, very maturely. I was shocked but didn't let on. The twins had done a lot of growing up. Everyone nodded in the room.

"So, who wants to go then?" asked George, happily.

"Well, they already know dad so it would be ideal for him to go" said Bill, and everyone turned to Arthur.

"As long as everyone else agrees, I'll go" said Arthur. "But, Kingsley should come with me. He's spent the last year working with muggles so..." he finished off, looking towards Kingsley, who nodded.

"Of course" Kingsley said, "and speaking of working with muggles I have to get back to Downing Street".

"Fine, we'll have another meeting whenever Molly and Arthur decide" said Mad-eye. After all, it was there home, and we'd already said a thousand times that we didn't want to impose. Molly and Arthur both looked at Mad-eye in surprise, in fact nearly everyone did. Mad-eye may seem headstrong and, lets say... bossy! but in actually fact he was quite considerate. It was just that only a few people knew it. I smiled at knowing I was one of them.

When Molly had suggested Friday to follow up this meeting and ask us all to dinner, everyone but Kingsley, me and Remus stayed. Remus took my hand and led me out of the house after a quick goodbye to everyone.

"So are you going to tell me why you were late?" asked Remus, curiously, as we walked away from the Burrow.

"Are you going to tell me?" I questioned back.

"Ah, well, no-"

"Then i'm not telling" I said, feeling grumpy. I took my hand out of his and crossed my arms over my chest. He sighed.

"Dora, don't be like that" he muttered. "I can't tell you yet".

"Why not?".

"Because it's, it's a secret, a surprise if you will, and I don't even know what i'm going to do at the moment" he breathed. "Can you just trust me and leave it alone?".

I sighed. I did trust Remus. "Fine. I do trust you so i'll leave it - for now".

"Thank you" he said as I dropped my defensive posture. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me close. "Are you going to tell me why you were late, and why you are not wearing the same clothes you left for work in this morning?" he all but growled.

"I'll tell you when we get home". Just as I said it he turned on the spot and we apparated.

* * *

When we got to the flat we sat on the sofa together as I recalled the days events. i sat at one end of the sofa with my legs resting on his as he sat on the other end. As I told him my 'thrilling' tale he sometimes laughed, sometimes smirked but he always remained sympathetic as he ran his hand up and down my leg in what was meant to be a soothing gesture. What I mean when I say 'it was meant to be' was that the gentle caress of his hand was driving my body crazy and I was easily getting distracted.

"Poor baby" he whispered huskily, still caressing my leg with those gorgeous hands. Damn those hands, I couldn't tare my eyes away. "Although, At least you can say your day was eventful".

"I like uneventful days better" I pouted. "Remus, could you stop" I couldn't help but moan. He smirked at me as his hand travelled further up my leg. Cheeky git, he knew exactly what he was doing!

"You git" I laughed. "Tease".

"You make it too easy, Love" he chuckled.

I swung my legs down and moved closer to him. I put my arms around his neck and pulled his face closer to mine. As I did so I noticed the bags starting to form under his eyes and how pale his skin had become. I quickly did a mental count of the dates and almost gasped.

"Full moon tomorrow night" I whispered. he nodded and looked at me carefully, as if trying to find a flicker of fear from me. "Are you tired?".

"Not really, the after is always worse than the before" he muttered.

"Where will you go? I asked.

"The Shrieking Shack, Minerva said I could use it" he whispered, looking away. I put my hand on his cheek and he leaned into it, closing his eyes.

"Do you want me to be there, in the morning?" I asked, wondering if this question was allowed.

"I don't know, whether I want you to see my like that" he whispered, still not opening his eyes.

"I want to be there, to look after you, but if you don't want me to then I won't" I said, quietly, and he looked up at me.

"You would do that for me?" he asked. I leaned in and placed a chaise kiss on his cheek before moving to his ear and whispering;

"I'd do anything for you".

"I would like you there, it'll make a nice change..." he trailed off. I knew he was fighting with himself. He wanted me there but he didn't want me to see him.

"I'll be there".

**I really appreciate the reviews and they make me really really happy, but it would be nice to get some more feedback! If you haven't reviewed, please spare a minute of your time to drop a line about this story. I would make me very happy and eager to write (yeah, I know, emotional blackmail but we all do it!) and I may even bake some fresh cyber cookies for all my reviewers! Luv you guys, gurugirl xx**


	53. Me and You

**This chapter is called Me and You, because 75% of it (or more, LOL) is all about Remus and Nymphadora together, just them, no interruptions. You should like this chapter, it has lots of tonks/remus fluff. Thanks to everyone who reviewed I love you all, please keep sending them they make me feel like carrying on this story is a good idea. Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, but life gets in the way. Anyway, I worked hard on this, and it's got quite a lot in it so ya should be pleased!**

**Disclaimer: I really wish I owned them, but I don't. I own the fluff and scenarios though, so I guess that's enough... for now. Muhwahaha x  
**

Me and You

The next day flew by in the same way the others had this week. Sitting at a desk, going on an enquiry, sitting in on an interview. The one thing I had wanted to do most was to be at home with Remus so I could spend the day with him before he left tonight. Mark had sensed my bad mood and had steered clear of my cubicle, probably because he didn't want hexing for yesterdays little stunt. Jacob however did not avoid me, much to my displeasure, and so I was made to work when I really didn't want to. Finally the time had come for me to go home and I had ran so fast out of the Ministry that if you blinked, you probably would have missed me.

Now I was sitting curled on my sofa, watching Remus fasten the buttons on his cloak in front of the fireplace. I had only been able to spend a few minutes snuggled up to him before he had to get ready, so he could floo to Hogwarts. He needed to get there before nightfall so he could get to the Shack and transform safely. If you didn't really know him, but watched him, you'd say he had the air of someone who'd done this a million times and it had simply become routine. But I saw different. His hands shook as he fastened the buttons, and his voice shook as he whispered my name. It was only every so slightly, but I found that I paid much attention to Remus, so therefore, I noticed.

"Dora" he whispered, "are you still ok to come tomorrow morning? If you've changed your mind, I'll understand".

I got up from the sofa and walked over to him, moving to his front so I could fasten up his last button.

"I haven't changed my mind Remus, and I never will".

He caught my hand in his and made me look up at him. Before I knew what had happened his lips connected with mine so furiously, his tongue plunging into my mouth without asking. I moaned loudly as his hands moved to my hips, pulling my body against his. He growled against my lips, making me shiver and pull away slightly.

"You need to get going" I whispered, logically. "It'll be sundown soon".

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me" he whispered.

"It's okay, but you should go" I whispered, feeling tears prick in my eyes. "Goodnight".

He kissed me on the cheek, obviously not trusting himself to kiss my lips again. He had told me once the importance of being in control of himself. He said it was foolish but if he felt in control, he believed the wolf couldn't control him. He had always been able to control himself, until he met me. I had asked what he meant by that, and he had replied that all self control went out of the window when I was near him. I had beamed then, and I was smiling now.

He kissed the spot just below my ear and whispered "Goodnight love", before pulling away and stepping into the fireplace. He was gone.

* * *

Dawn was only just breaking as I crossed the streets of Hogsmead, making my way towards the hill that would lead me to the Shrieking Shack. I'd been here twice before, once when I was at Hogwarts and once last year with Remus. I made my way up the hill carefully, looking at the sky around the Shack. It was pink and yellow and warm, I really loved summer.

Last night I hadn't got a wink of sleep, worrying about Remus. I curled up on the sofa all night and worried over and over about how Remus was. I really needed to see him, to make sure he was alright. Obviously he wouldn't be, but I wanted to be there for him. I jogged across the field towards the Shack and pushed several boards away from the side to get in. As I stepped inside, I felt the warmth of sun disappear and looked around the lower level of the Shack with contempt. I moved farther into the house with caution.

"Remus" I said in a carrying whisper. "Remus".

"Up here Dora" came an answering voice from upstairs. I made my way towards the steps and climbed them quickly, coming to a room that looked to be a bedroom, but I wasn't sure.

As I stepped into the room I noticed Remus slumped against the back wall, clutching his shoulder, his face screwed up in pain. He had his trousers on but his shirt was open and I could see the claw marks covering his chest which was drenched in blood. He looked up at me as I came in the room, and I thought for a moment he might scold me for coming but instead he smiled, although it looked like a grimace from the pain.

"Not a pretty sight is it?" he asked, looking away. I walked over to him carefully, noting that I was treading over bits of broken wood as I did so. When I reached him I knelt down in front of him, stroking the side of his face with my hand, before bringing out my wand and opening his shirt a little more.

"Dora, are you sure-"

"I'm an Auror Remus, I know how to patch people up well enough, though I'm probably not healer standards" I said, softly, pointing my wand at one mark.

"I wasn't doubting that, I was just making sure-" he stopped abruptly when he looked me in the eye. I kept my expression stern but reassuring.

"Remus, I want to be here and I want to help" I said. "Now stay still". I tapped my wand lightly at the tip of the claw mark and ran my wand down the cut, healing it as well as I could. Werewolf scratches were easier to heal that bites, though he plenty new ones of those from last night. When I finished the ones on his chest I looked up at his face. His eyes were closed.

"I know those aren't the only ones" I whispered, putting my hands on his shoulders and sliding the fabric down so his arms slipped free and the blood stained shirt fell to the floor. "Can you turn a little for me?" I asked, wanting to get at his back. He obliged, and I felt tears sting in my eyes as I saw the marks on his back, which were considerably worse than the front. I began to work on them, trying to be as careful as I could but Remus kept wincing and I hated seeing him in pain. When I'd finished I ran my hand over his back and traced the newly formed scars with my fingers.

"That's the best I could do" I whispered, as he turned back to he was leaning against the wall. I sat down next to him and watched as he scrutinized me carefully.

He raised his hand to my cheek and cupped it gently. "Thank you, for being here. You didn't have too".

"I know, but I wanted too" I whispered, leaning in and kissing him on the forehead. "You look tired".

"I feel it" he mumbled, before dropping his head onto my shoulder and securing an arm around my waist. I put my arms around him and held him lightly. "Can we just stay here for a while?" he asked.

"Sorry baby" I whispered, "but here isn't too comfortable for you after last night, I need to get you home".

"After last night, I could sleep on a bed of nails" he mumbled.

"But I'm sure, given the choice, you would choose a nice soft bed instead" I said, moving to stand, and help him up. He grumbled as I pulled him to his feet, but I paid him no heed. He was tired and needed rest, and this creepy Shack would not do.

Getting him home was hard, he was exhausted and was leaning heavily on me, and although I didn't mind it, it did slow me up a bit. I got him into the flat and into the bedroom, setting him down on the bed as he groaned in pain.

"Sorry, sorry" I said, quickly.

"No, it's not you Dora, your brilliant" he whispered, reaching out one of his hands and pulling the covers off the bed so he could slip in. I could tell that he was feeling self conscious of me helping him, so I decided to let him get settled on his own.

"Do you want a drink or anything?" I asked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"A glass of water please" he coughed. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the cupboard, before holding it under the tap and filling it with cold water. When I walked back into the bedroom he was laying on his side in bed, staring at me as I walked over to him. I handed him the water and he slipped an arm out of the covers and took it from me, sipping from it and putting it down.

"You seemed to be watching me very intently" said Remus, slowly. "Don't worry baby, I won't break".

"I know" I whispered, sitting down on the bed. He propped himself up but hissed in pain, so I pushed him back down again. "Rest".

He pouted. "Your amazing, you know that?" he whispered.

"Thank you" I said, leaning down so my face was close to his. "But that's not gonna get you out of resting".

"Your mean" he muttered.

"Am I really?".

"No" he smiled, and before I knew it he'd grabbed me round the waist and pulled me down beside him. I squealed in surprise.

"Remus, what are you doing?" I asked as he pulled the covers over me.

"Using you as a pillow" he mumbled, resting his head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, and suddenly felt very protective of Remus.

"I have to work this afternoon, will you be ok later?" I asked.

"Will you stay here now?" he asked, looking at me.

"Yes" I said. He leaned towards me and kissed me lightly.

"Love you".

"Love you too".

* * *

So Dawlish had had a tip-off about some Deatheaters meeting in an abandoned warehouse on Bridge street. And because I was his partner, I had to go with him. Several things were going through my mind as we approached the warehouse. One: was there really Deatheaters here? Two: if there weren't, could I gloat? And three: if there were, how would we handle it? They would obviously put up a fight, and even though I was more than sure we could handle them, it depended on how many there were. Two of us against... how many of them?

To my surprise, the tip off had been correct. As I snuck up to the building I heard raised voices followed by shushing and laughing. When we peered through a slit in the wall we saw three hooded figures huddled together in the center of the room. One was looking twitchy and nervous, his eyes darting out from under his hood to look around the warehouse floor. Another was standing tall and painfully straight, he looked like a broom had been attached to his back making it impossible for him to bend. The last was hunched up and talked in wheezes. He was the first one I heard speak clearly.

"You sure this is the place?" he wheezed.

"That's what he said, and it's almost time to go" said the one standing tall.

"Shouldn't w-we go now" said the nervous one. I looked at Dawlish, wondering whether the man who had told them to be here was the tip-off. He wasn't looking at me though, his eyes were narrowed through the crack. He quickly whipped around.

"Go round the other side" he hissed. I was slightly peeved at being ordered around, but I did it without question, sneaking to the other side, dodging the Muggle rubbish and rubble as I went. It was clear to see that this warehouse had long since been abandoned. Sneaking in the back was easier than I imagined it would be, and sneaking up behind them was too. I moved silently behind crates piled at the back and made my way forward slowly and carefully. Dawlish had slipped in too and was moving through the shadows towards the men. Just as he nodded at me to strike, one of the men clocked onto Dawlish and they all turned to him, who looked stunned. I took my chance.

"Petrificus Totalus" I shouted, pointing at one of the men's back. He fell to the floor and they two who were left standing drew there wands. One ran towards me as the other was immediately locked in fierce combat with Dawlish. I ran out from behind the crates and started dueling.

While I dueled one, Dawlish was on the other side of the warehouse dueling the other. We were trying to push them together, but they were trying to push us away. Or at least, I pretended that's what they were trying to do. What their real intent was, was probably far sinister. I was being pushed back into the crates, each curse that flew at me, I deflected. I sent curses flying back, but soon I heard Dawlish shout out and saw that he'd been smashed against the wall by the Deatheater.

I shot a curse at the bloke, which just missed, but it got his attention away from Dawlish. Then, suddenly, I realised that I had two of them on me. I backed away, and my back bumped into something metal and I fell backwards, falling on a metal staircase. Before they could blink, I ran up the staircase, as they shouted at eachother to go either side and corner me.

"Petrificus Totalus" I shouted almost hitting the big one who ran up the stairs. the other stayed on the ground firing hexes up at me, and Dawlish struggled helplessly against the wall. I would have freed him if I hadn't been dueling one Deatheater on the metal walkway above the warehouse floor, and been ducking curses sent up by the other Deatheater at the same time.

"Come on little girly, we don't mean no harm. Let us leave here, and we won't mess up your pretty face" he jeered.

"Haven't you heard? Us Aurors are rather stubborn" I said, cockily.

"It's that stubbornness that'll get you killed" he said, moving forward.

"You gonna kill me?" I asked, disbelievingly.

"I haven't decided".

Then we were dueling against, and I was being pushed backwards along the walkway. In haste, I freed Dawlish from the curse but paid the price. I was trip jinxes and fell backwards, over the edge where the walkway ended. It was just an open end. As I slipped down I grabbed on to a loose chain hanging from the ceiling. I still slipped to the ground, and I landed on my face, scratching it on the rough ground. Dawlish came running up as the Deatheater jumped down in front of me. A hex to the face drew his attention away from me. I scrambled to my feet, but slipped again as I felt my legs buckle underneath me. While I was on the floor (sounds great right?), Dawlish was hexed to the ground next to me. The Deatheaters ran towards the one who had been hexed first and I jumped up, ignoring the pain in my legs and aimed a hex at their retreating backs. Unfortunately it missed and just as Dawlish jumped up, the two grabbed there paralyzed comrade and disapparated.

"Shit" I cursed, spitting on the floor in anger.

"My sentiments exactly" muttered Dawlish. We looked at eachother and we knew, we knew that we would be in trouble for this.

* * *

Standing in Gawain Robards office, our new Head of Auror's, covered in dirt, grime and dried blood in some cases, I felt rather miffed. Robards was a particularly old Auror with a big bushy beard and an unfriendly gaze. I could tell immediately that he either didn't like me or didn't trust me, or both. He looked me and Dawlish up and down in what I assumed was disgust. He was practically spitting at us. I was getting a shower as he spoke.

"You let them go" he spat. "You had them cornered and you let them go".

"With all due respect sir, it wasn't our fault" said Dawlish.

"How wasn't it?".

"We gave as good as we got, but in the end, they slipped from our grasp. We're not the first Auror's to do it and we won't be the last" I answered, as politely as I could.

"Yes, a fact that disappoints me greatly. Your both relieved for the rest of the day, you can leave my office now" he answered. I sighed and followed Dawlish out. Just as he turned to speak to me he bumped straight into a man walking the other way. I quickly moved forward and held out my hand.

"You alright?" I asked, as I hauled him to his feet.

"Fine, fine, thank you" muttered Pius Thicknese. He scurried off down the corridor and I watched him.

"Sometimes I wonder..." muttered Dawlish, looking at the floor.

"What?".

"What I'm doing with my life" he answered, before turning away and following Thicknese.

I turned in the opposite direction and made my way towards the lift. On the one hand I was annoyed that I'd been dismissed; on the other hand, I got to go home early and see Remus. I felt low about the duel. I had tripped, or been tripped but still it was the same thing really, and I felt really bummed about it. I got into the lift feeling sad, and longing for a bath and a hug from Remus. The lifts doors shut with a clang and it started moving towards the auditorium. I lent against the back wall and sighed, looking up at the ceiling and blowing breath at my hair, making it fly into the air and fall back over my eyes. I changed my hair to deep red, making it curly past my shoulders. I tasted the dry blood in my mouth as the lift doors opened again, and I stepped out into the auditorium.

I immediately froze in front of the lift, seeing who was standing less than 5 meters away. My mum with her long blue dress and hair pulled back in a loose bun was looking very out of place and uncomfortable. She was turning on the spot, looking through the crowds of people, obviously searching for me. I found my voice.

"Mum" I called, unfreezing and walking over to her. She spun around and smiled at the sight of me. I ran towards her and hugged her, but she pulled back and scrutinized me.

"What on earth have you been up to?" she asked.

"Dueling in an abandoned warehouse with three Deatheaters" I reeled off, she blanched.

"I wish I never asked" she muttered. She was supportive of my job sure enough, but she was a mum and just like any mum she was worried about the danger I was putting myself in. Dad wasn't as bad about it, he knew I could handle myself.

"I look a mess then?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood. "I'll have a bath when I get home".

"Oh, ok, I was just wondering..."

"What mum?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and trying not to laugh.

"You look better, even though, you know, your covered in-"

"Crap".

"Language" she said.

"English" I replied, cheekily.

"Nymphadora" she growled, dangerously.

"Sorry mummy".

"As I was saying, you look better and you haven't come to see us for awhile. We miss you, why don't you come for tea Dora, please?" she asked.

"Oh mum, I can't tonight, I have to go home and make sure Remus is alright" I said, without thinking. Her eyes widened.

"Remus?" she asked. I stared her down. "Well, you can bring him along can't you? It'd be nice to meet him properly, especially if you too are together now. You are together now?".

"Yes mum" I said, beaming. I couldn't help it.

"I'm pleased for you Dora, you seem happier" she whispered, putting a hand to my cheek and stroking it lightly.

"I am mum, but I can't come tonight. It was full moon last night and-".

"I understand" she nodded.

"How about tomorrow night?" I asked.

"That would be perfect. You and Remus be there at 6.00 sharp, okay?"

"Yes mum, now maybe we should leave. I don't much like hanging around here" I said, looking around me quickly. She looked around to then nodded, and we made our way towards the exit.

"I best get back anyway, your dad's expecting me" muttered mum as we stood outside. The sun glared down at us as we stepped onto the pavement. "I'll see you tomorrow darling". She hugged me tight and I hugged her back, remembering my thoughts from the other day.

"I love you mum" I whispered. "You know that, right?"

"Ofcourse I do" she said, pulling away. "I love you too, sweetheart. See you tomorrow night". And then she was gone.

After she was gone I apparated with a small smile. I hoped Remus would agree to this, I thought as I apparated to the floor on which my flat was. As I walked to the door I looked down at myself. First a bath, then tell Remus. I unlocked the flat door, which was now a pretty complicated task due to the amount of wards that Remus had set on the place for protection. It took me nearly ten minutes before I could push the door open and let myself in.

"Hello" came a gruff voice. I turned towards my bedroom as I shut the door. Looking down the hall I saw Remus leaning against the door frame. I smiled happily and looked him up and down. He wore simple black trousers, but his feet and torso were bare. I had to use all my self restraint to stop myself from drooling, or pouncing on him, which seemed to me a good idea at this particular moment. He looked tired but had a little more color in his cheeks than this morning. I walked down the hall towards him, and the bathroom which was behind the door on the left wall, right next to my bedroom.

"You look better" I said, and he blushed a little.

"What happened to you? You look -".

"Yeah, I know" I muttered. "I'm going to have a long hot bath, I'll explain everything when I'm in there" I whispered, moving into the bathroom and running the taps. The charm I'd put on them still worked, as sooner than normally possible the bath was full with steaming bubbly water. I quickly discarded my dirt and blood stained clothes and threw them into a heap in the corner, before lowering myself into the water and slipping down.

"Comfortable" Remus enquired, standing by the door watching me.

"Mmmm" I said, with my eyes closed, I turned to the door and opened them again. I pointed to the space beside the bath. "You can sit there if you like?" I muttered. He came in, shutting the door behind him with a smirk. He sat down beside the bath and leaned on the side of it, looking at me. I sighed.

"What happened baby?" he whispered.

"Me and Dawlish went to a warehouse, on a tip-off, which said that several Deatheaters were meeting there. Once we got there, it was clear to me that whoever left the tip-off had obviously set these Deatheaters up. Anyway, I snuck in the back and Dawlish snuck in the front, but before we could capture them they clocked onto Dawlish and we started dueling. One was knocked out by my spell straight away but the other two fought as hard as we did and there was no way we were going to get them, but I still feel bad. We failed" I explained.

"You didn't fail-".

"Yes, we did. We failed, we tried our hardest but in the end we still failed. The Deatheaters grabbed there unconscious friend and apparated out of there".

"Why the dirt and blood?" he whispered, as if afraid of the answer.

"I took a tumble on the floor, and I had several cuts on the side of my face, but there healed now. Metamorphous trick" I shrugged, as he looked as if he might ask how they'd healed so quickly. He dipped his fingers in the water and skimmed the surface, looking pensive as he did so. "What's up?".

"Nothing" he said, looking up from the water. "Shampoo?" he asked, reaching for the shampoo at the other end of the bath.

"Please". He took it from the side, but instead of giving it to me he opened the bottle of 'sweet apple' shampoo and squeezed it into his hands. He gestured me to sit up and I did so, feeling shy at how exposed I was. Why I felt self conscious of this I didn't know, it was like this was the first time I'd been completely naked in front of him. The thought made me blush, and I looked at Remus through my lashes but he wasn't looking at me, infact, he was staring rather intensely at my hair and nothing else. I smiled, though I couldn't quite register why.

He began to massage the shampoo into my hair, and as he did he worked his fingers into my scalp too. I moaned at the feeling of his fingers running over my scalp and through my hair. Once he'd finished, I layed back down in the water, letting the shampoo wash away and smiled at him.

"And what, pray tell, was that in aid of?" I asked.

"Do I need a reason?" he asked back.

"Maybe a hidden motive?" I suggested lightly. He leaned over the bath close to my face, and licked his lips.

"Maybe".

Kissing with a bathtub in between us was not comfortable at all, and apparently Remus felt the same way because I was soon lifted out of the bath and onto the towel covered floor. It amazed me that Remus still had strength left after last nights transformation, but I wasn't complaining. The warmth of his body against mine was comforting after everything that had happened today. At least someone didn't think I was a screw up.

He kissed me deeply as I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him close to me. His hands slid down my body dangerously slowly and rested on my hips, causing me to shudder and moan. He was such as tease. His lips left mine and started trailing kisses down my next and through my wet hair. I moved my hands down his chest and to the waist band of his trousers. He stopped kissing my neck and growled in my ear.

"Nymphadora".

"Well, it's hardly fair" I whispered, huskily.

"Ah, true" he said, knowledgeably, before slamming his lips back onto mine. My long hot bath was well and truly forgotten.

* * *

I stood at the kitchen sink, dressed in my silk pyjamas because I couldn't be bothered to get dressed, looking out my window at the streets of London while waiting for the kettle to boil. I had set up two mugs of hot chocolate on the counter for me and Remus. It was my attempt to butter him up before I told him about tomorrow night. Then again, I was pretty sure there were other ways of doing that. It was weird, I'd never really thought these sorts of things until Remus came along. Now it seemed at least half of my brain was dedicated to them. Not that I minded.

Just as the kettle whistled, Remus walked into the kitchen. I felt him come up behind me and snake his arms around my waist. I reached over to the kettle and started pouring the drinks, ignoring Remus's lips on the base of my neck. For a moment I was curious about something, and I asked it before I engaged my brain to really think about it.

"Have you always been like this, and I just never saw it?" I asked, before wincing at how that came out.

"Like what?" he asked, curiously. I pulled away slightly so I could look at his face. There was no going back now.

"Like this" I said, gesturing to the intimate proximity between us. "Have you ever been like this with anyone else?". I inwardly smacked myself. That did NOT come out right.

He moved away and leaned against the side, staring at me coldly. I shivered, but it wasn't the usual pleasant shiver that I experienced. "Why do you want to know this?".

"I-, I don't - don't know..." I mumbled, feeling like an idiot.

"No Nymphadora, I have never been 'like this' with anyone else. I've had girlfriends in the past, but I never felt the way I do for you, for them. And I've never acted this intimately with anyone before, it's just you. It's only you, ok? You've changed who I was, and I like it, but now I'm confused. I don't understand what you meant by that question. Do you, not, want me to be this way?" he asked, sounding so confused and upset that it literally broke my heart.

"No, no that's not what I meant at all. My question came out all wrong, you misunderstand me. I love who you are, you must know that by now Remus. I love you" I whispered.

"I love you too" he said, sadly.

I sighed. "When I asked you whether you'd been 'like that' with anyone else, it was mainly because I wanted to know a bit more about you, but also because" I took a breath and then whispered, "I was kind of jealous".

"Pardon?" he said, seeming shocked.

"Oh don't act so surprised Remus, in the back of my mind I was jealous cause I thought, maybe I wasn't as special as you make me feel" I started off in a defiant voice but it grew smaller towards the end.

"Oh Dora" Remus sighed. Man, that voice did things to me. Why did I have to act like some sort of hormonal, irrational teenager around him? Why couldn't I, in my mum's words and the words of many mums around the world, act my age? I put my hands over my face in shame and groaned in annoyance.

"I'm such a twat" I muttered. Two rough yet warm hands covered mine and pulled them from my face. I looked up at Remus who was smiling happily at me. Safe to say I was confused.

"That is very foul language, Miss Tonks" he said, in what I called his 'professor' voice.

"Deduct the points from Hufflepuff then" I muttered. He put one arm around my back and pushed me gently to the side which held the abandoned mugs.

"Finish your drinks". I starting pouring the still boiling water (thank goodness for thermal kettles) into the mugs, feeling slightly disorientated. "Want some food?" I asked, casually.

I heard the opening and closing of cupboards behind me as I stirred the hot chocolate. When I turned around to hand him his mug, he was frowning at a packet of pasta. He took the mug in his empty hand, then put them both on the side.

"That's all that's in that cupboard worth eating" he muttered. "Maybe there's something else somewhere". He started looking through cupboard and draws and the fridge, pulling out random ingredients. First came a bag of flour and a tin of sweet corn. I helped him to find the butter, milk and half pack of cheese from the fridge, and was curious as to what he was trying to make.

"We really need to go food shopping. I mean, when it was just me I never really bothered" I mumbled.

"Are you at work tomorrow?" he asked.

"What day is tomorrow?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Thursday".

"Nope, Thursday is my day off this week" I said, happily. "When's the next meeting?".

"Friday" he said, smirking at me. "Right, well we'll go shopping tomorrow then" he sighed, looking through another cupboard.

"Whats the matter?" I asked.

"I feel guilty" he said, quickly. "I should be working, bringing in money and food".

"We've had this talk before, I make plenty for the both of us you don't need to feel guilty" I said.

"I just want to do something. Anything" he said, "found it". He pulled out a tin of tuna from the cupboard and put it on the side. "How do you feel about Tuna Pasta Bake?".

"Yum".

"Good".

The conversation of jobs was dropped for now, but I still felt bad as I watched him cook dinner. It must be really hard for a man to sit around all day while there partner goes to work. But I don't see anyway around it, not at the moment anyway. I worked on average six days out of seven with my day off alternating each week. I liked my hours, they were flexible, some were hardly days at all and the pay was really good, now that I was no longer a trainee. I started feeling guilty myself, but told myself to shut up and dig in.

We had fun cooking dinner. I think it was probably one of the most domestic things I've done since I left home. Wow, that sounded bad, but it was the truth. I loved cooking with Remus, he was so good with his hands and seemed to move gracefully through every stage, while I continued to knock things over and generally be a nuisance. The best part was when the dish was baking in my under appreciated oven, and me and Remus decided to have a flour fight, followed by some enthusiastic snogging on the kitchen counter. Once the dish was baked however, we plated up and sat down on my squishy sofa, with the wireless on and the fire going. It was getting dark outside by this time, but it was still summer, so it was fairly light.

I bit into my pasta and moaned. "This is amazing, how'd you learn to cook like this?".

"It's just a simple dish Dora, and my mum taught me. She was afraid that when I moved out I wouldn't look after myself properly so I let her teach me to put her mind at rest" he shrugged. I leaned against him as I ate, my feet resting on the sofa beside me. He was sitting at the end of the sofa, stretched out comfortably as he ate. "She was an amazing cook".

"You miss her" I stated, shovelling more pasta bake into my mouth.

"How did you know?".

"Your voice goes all soft when your upset, or talking about something that makes you feel upset" I muttered. "That made me sound like a stalker".

"Yeah, I miss her. Miss dad too, though we weren't as close. I remember the good things about them but it always make me sad, so I don't like to think about it" he explained.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up" I mumbled, stuffing more pasta into my gob in guilt.

"Don't be" he muttered. "So, anyway, plan for tomorrow. Shopping first thing because we have the bare essentials but nothing else".

"We're not that bad, we have been shopping before, I just think we need to make it a more regular thing. If we buy enough tomorrow we shouldn't have to go again for like, two weeks. It's not like we're here much anyway, what with the Order and everything" I said, "and speaking of tomorrow...".

"What?" Remus said, cautiously.

"I bumped into mum on the way home, and she sort of invited us to dinner, and I sort of agreed" I said, quickly.

"Take out the 'sort of' and I interpret that to mean that we are having dinner with you parents tomorrow".

"Yes" I said, sheepishly before moving so I could face him. He was giving me 'the stare'. I squirmed. "I felt guilty, I haven't spent anytime with my parents, and there really important to me, and what with the war and everything..." he cut me off with his lips, but he pulled back quickly.

"And the rambling stops" he smirked. I stuck my tongue out at him. "I don't mind going tomorrow, but I'm just concerned about what your parents will think of us".

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"What parents want their daughter to be with a werewolf. And old, poor..."

"Gonna get his arse kicked if he finishes that sentence" I interrupted, sweetly. "I love you, and so will they. Just give them a chance Remus, they're not as bad as I make out, I promise".

"Ok love" he muttered, "but on your head be it". I leaned over and kissed him.

"Thank you".

"But your gonna have to give me a lesson in family history. I don't know much about your parents".

"Deal" I said, scooping up the last bit of tuna pasta bake and popping it into my mouth. "Thank you for dinner".

"Your welcome" he said, sucking on his fork. He'd finished his before mine, and was obviously still hungry.

"Give me you plate, I'll take it to the kitchen" I said, standing up and holding my hand out. He handed me the plate with a smile.

"I think, there might be a chocolate bar stashed in my draw" he said, licking his lips. I smiled and went to leave the room when he caught my arm. "Oh, and Dora... you make me feel special too" he whispered, huskily. I rushed out of the room before my legs turned completely to jelly.

**I will update when I can, but I make no promises. College, work and family stuff takes up so much time now it's un-believeable. Please, please, please review xx reviews are like coffee (which I am starting to get addicted to) they help me keep writing. P.s. Who saw Deathly Hallows? I saw it, loved it and am wondering what you think?**


	54. Like it or Lump it

_**This is a very long chapter, but it's the last of it's kind for awhile, because this took so long to write and upload and I don't want to keep you waiting again. You have no idea how stressful this was to write and i'm hoping to write more shorter chapters in the furture which will be uploaded quicker than this one which took a month. Oh, p.s. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Wow! 2011. Who thought we'd get here. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, i'm sorry about the wait.**_

**Like it or Lump it.**

"Mum's a little unpredictable".

"How so?".

"Well, she has major mood swings, worse than mine. Sometimes she's really happy and calm, well most of the time really, but sometimes she goes off on one. I take after her for that, we can both get extremely angry extremely quickly" I explained. "Dad always clams her down though, there really... together, you know? They don't fight much, and even when they do it's over silly things".

"You look up to them".

"Yeah, I do. They're my parents" I smiled. He smiled back at me, "can I tell you something?" I whispered.

"What's that?" Remus asked, reaching out his hand and pushing some hair that had fallen into my eyes, away. We were lying in my cosy bed, facing each other. I wriggled closer to him so he could put his hand on my hip and pull me closer to him.

"You know you asked me a little while ago if I was worried about tonight, and I said no?".

"Yes...".

"I lied".

"I thought as much" he smiled, "you have nothing to worry about, I on the other hand...".

"Don't either" I finished for him.

"I want to make a good impression, Dora. I want to prove to your parents that I deserve you. I love you" he whispered. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but I choked. Instead, I leaned forward and kissed his mouth desperately, threading my fingers through his hair and pulling his body to mine. His arms wrapped around my waist as he kissed my lips, brusing them as his mouth plundered mine. I shuddered a moan as he rolled me onto my back, the heat of his body on top of mine made me lose all sense of control...

* * *

"I hate shopping" I groaned, as I leaned on the bar of the trolley I was pushing. I hated these muggle contraptions, I always seemed to get the one with the wonky wheel. Remus was walking ahead, happily ignoring me while scanning the vague list of foods that I'd written down on a scrap of parchment. There were several reasons for it being vague, one; I hated shopping and therefore put no effort into it. Two; I had only had five minutes to write it before Remus dragged me from the flat.

"Hush" he muttered, reaching to one of the shelves and pulling down a bag of goodness know what.

"Don't tell me to hush" I mumbled, annoyed. He glanced back at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Someone's a little grumpy this afternoon" he said, smiling knowingly. He knew exactly why I was grumpy. I was perfectly happy with staying in bed all day, especially with Remus beside me, but noooo, we had to go shopping. Personally, I'd rather starve. I just glared at him as fiercely as possible, and he chuckled. "I know you'd rather starve-" mind reader "-but I won't allow it, so, push the trolley properly dear". The way he said it made me burst out laughing, startling a few young girls who had been standing nearby, eyeing up a young male shop worker.

"Sorry" I cringed. Two of the girls giggled, but the one in the middle just smiled and nudged her friends to stop.

"S'ok" she replied, and the girls started walking off.

"Startling little children, Nymphadora...".

"Oh piss off" I mumbled. He chuckled again, and slung something in the trolley, before grabbing the end of the trolley and pulling me down the aisle. Down the aisle. I really was a dreamer.

"Dora, love, what on earth does that say?" Remus said, abruptly, handing me the piece of parchment and pointing at the third word down. Honestly, I had no clue, so I made it up.

"Chocolate? Sausages? Waffles, mmm... waffles. Can we get some?" I asked.

"Sure" he muttered, vaguely, before tearing up the list in his hand. "We'll play it by ear, I can't read a word of that".

"Hey, I worked extremely hard on that" I said, as indignantly as possible. He turned round to say something, but I stopped him. "Don't comment, I know, I know". He smiled and walked back to me, putting his arm around my waist and pressing a kiss into my hair.

"Can we get this shopping done?". I nodded.

As it turns out shopping wasn't all that bad. A bit tedious and boring at times, but after a particularly funny incident involving my trolley, 4 teenage lads and several shelves stacked with milk, I was beginning to enjoy myself. Yes, it had been embarrassing at the time, and Remus had been on the verge of hysterics at my expense, but looking back one day I'm sure I will laugh. Maybe. Now that the mess was cleaned up and the 4 lads and I had been ranted at by the store manager (Remus had mysteriously disappeared at this point. Coward!), me and Remus were now happily browsing the back aisles of the store, the trolley almost full and talking about my parents.

"Mum doesn't work, never did. Although there was this old lady in the village, used to go round there when I was younger and mum would look after her. She was a nice old lady, always gave me toffees and loved my magical hair".

"Was she a muggle?" Remus enquired, lightly.

"Yes" I replied, and he turned sharply. "But she was really old and her mind wasn't what it had been when she was younger. She always forgot, but if she'd told anyone, I doubt they would have looked into it".

"Do you remember her name?".

"Anne" I replied. "She had the most beautiful house I've ever seen, really old and rustic, but still beautiful. The garden was huge though, and there was a stable next door and horses prancing around the fields at the back. That was before Hogwarts" I whispered, sadly.

"You got on with your neighbours then?" asked Remus, quickly, obviously trying to distract me, it worked.

"Not all of them. I think I was a bit too strange" I smiled, "I don't really care though".

"So, what about your dad?" asked Remus. "You speak alot about your mum, should I be worried about your dad?"

"Shouldn't think so, he's pretty accepting, like most of us Hufflepuffs" I realised what I'd just said, and gasped quickly. "Sorry Remus, I didn't mean, you know-".

"It's fine Dora, I don't honestly know what your apologising for, but all the same..." he smiled. I chuckled weakly. "Chocolate?" he asked, picking up a bar from the shelf.

"Defiantly, although I prefer Honeydukes" I mused, whispering 'Honeydukes' as a muggle walked past with a basket.

"So do I, maybe we should get some from there instead" Remus muttered, putting it back.

"So, what about you? What was it like where you lived?" I asked.

"I lived in a fairly old cottage, in the middle of the country. It was nice there, peaceful and quiet, until the marauders came for the holiday that is" he laughed.

"I can imagine".

"Yes, but mum loved them. And so did dad, although he was never around much while they were there. I think they made too much noise" he laughed. "There was a lake nearby, and in the summer we used to go swimming in it. If we weren't at James's house, of course. We were there a lot".

"Sounds like fun. There's no lakes where I live. Lived, I should say. Except for a great, dirty pond in the back garden. It used to be full of Ducks during the summer. The noise they made drove mum mad. Me too actually, they were right outside my window".

"At least they weren't Geese" muttered Remus, tossing something else into the trolley and shivering.

"Remus Lupin, are you afraid of Geese?" I asked, slyly.

"No" he said, unconvincingly. "They just annoy me".

"Alright then" I smirked.

"I am not afraid of them".

"Of course not".

"Dora".

"Remus".

He sighed loudly and continued down the aisle in a huff. I followed behind watching his every move. And I just couldn't resist...

"We can see them tonight, they'll probably be around the pond" I lied, knowing that the probability of them being there was slim. Mum probably put up barriers against them or something. He slammed down the packet of biscuits he'd been looking at (with little interest) and turned to me with blazing eyes.

"Dora" he growled, menacingly. I shivered. I loved it when he did that, though I'd never let on, or he'd stop doing it as punishment for my cheek.

"Yes" I answered, sweetly.

He sighed, and moved over to me, disregarding the trolley and putting his hands on my waist. He pulled me close to him and looked up and down the aisle. No-one was in this aisle at the moment, and I had to control my breathing otherwise it would have come out far to shallow for my liking. The scenarios running through my head at that moment would have made a Nun blush. Wow, weird metaphor...

"I am not afraid of Geese, I just don't like them" he whispered, against my lips. I sighed.

"Whatever you say".

And standing in the middle of a deserted food aisle, we kissed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my hands in his hair. All too soon he pulled away and I pouted. He looked a little red and I could tell he was embarrassed by our little PDA. I leant my forehead against his.

"Sorry I teased you".

"No worries" he coughed.

"Can we be done with shopping now?" I asked. He opened his mouth to speak, but a cough sounded from somewhere else entirely. We both turned out heads to the side and saw a little boy standing there, no older than six, coughing lightly and looking up at us in interest.

"Hello there" said Remus, smiling.

"Hello" said the little boy. "I'm lost".

"Oh dear. Can you remember who you were with" asked Remus, kindly, pulling away from me and kneeling down to the boy's level.

"My sister" the boy answered, shyly, before coughing again. Poor little thing.

"Well, I'm sure she can't be far. If we wait here, I'm sure she'll come along soon. What's your name?" said Remus, gently.

"Tom" he answered. "I ran away from my sister, I was bored".

"Well shopping does get rather boring at times, doesn't it?" said Remus, standing back up and looking down on the boy with a smile. I watched the whole thing in, dare I say it, fascination. The boy laughed.

"Tom" cried a girls voice, and looking up the aisle I saw a young girl running towards us. She had wore plain jeans and a football jersey, with her hair tied up in a bun. For some reason, I admired her messy appearance. "Oh Tom, there you are. You mustn't run off like that, you gave me a heart attack".

"I'm sorry" the boy said, pouting. The girl shook her head and took his hand before looking at Remus.

"Ummm..." she sounded awkward.

"Tom came wandering along the aisle so we told him to stay here until you came for him. I hope that's alright?" enquired Remus, kindly. The girl's features seemed to relax as he spoke and she looked at me with interest, before turning back to Remus.

"Thank you" she said. "It's not often you meet decent folk who'll look out for a little boy" she smiled. "Come on Tom" she said, and pulled him away, nodding at us as she left. I looked at Remus who looked and me and smiled.

"Hey", I looked back at the girl who had stopped just a way in front of us. "Cool hair" she said, before turning away and disappearing with Tom.

I blinked in surprise. Remus however, looked perfectly normal and comfortable, and nudged me from behind.

"Come on, thought you wanted to go home?". I began walking, pushing the trolley in deep thought.

* * *

Back at the house, with the shopping put away and a couple of hours to spare before we went to my parents, me and Remus curled up together on the sofa. His hands gently traced patterns up and down my leg, and his head rested against mine. In that moment, I was overcome with emotion and that this was reality. This was real, me and Remus, and I wrapped my arms around his waist tight.

"Hey" he breathed. "What's up?".

"What makes you think somethings up? I asked, turning my head to look at him.

"Well, you have me in a death grip" he joked, but I pulled my arms back quickly and bit my lip. "Hey, I didn't say I didn't like it. Just wanted to know if you were ok. Your very quiet".

"I'm fine, just tired and thinking to much" I mumbled, attempting a smile.

"Liar" he muttered. "I can tell when your lying to me Dora, whats on your mind? You can tell me".

"It's going to sound weird. I'm going to sound weird".

"Don't you always?" he teased. I squeezed his waist to tight and he choked. "Ok, ok, I was just messing. Come on, tell me anyway".

"Just today, it's been so domestic and perfect. Like something out of a dream but, it's real. Your real" I muttered.

"Well, I should hope so. Otherwise this right here would be a little creepy" he said, but I didn't laugh. I turned to him fully and looked him straight in the eye.

"Your mine" I whispered, "and I'm never letting you go".

"Good" he whispered, lifting a hand to my cheek and brushing it gently. I don't know what made me do it, but soon enough my mouth was attacking his eagerly. Every touch and every kiss made me believe this was real because when you've waited for something for a long time, and then you get it, sometimes you just can't believe in reality.

As we pulled away from each other, I re-adjusted myself so that I was laying with my head on his chest and closing my eyes.

"Don't you go to sleep, it's 3'o clock, which means we only have three hours until we go to your parents" Remus said.

"Don't care" I mumbled.

"Well I do" he said, nudging me. I groaned in annoyance. "Anyway, you never did tell me what your dad did for a living".

"And still does". I sighed, and sat up. "I call him 'The Inventor'. His shop produces prototypes of new products. He gets orders from companies when they want something new tested so they can see if it works with there products. His places is kind of like a workshop, but dad loves making things and using his brain to pick things to pieces and put them back together".

"Interesting".

"It is" I muttered. "I went to his shop a couple of times when I was a kid. It sure was something. And some of the stories he comes home with were great. Some companies really are stupid, like they want something that would never work, but they make him test it anyway".

"You seem very into it. Did you ever want to be like your dad?" he asked.

"Hell to the yeah. His job sounded brilliant, but as I got older I wanted different things. I wanted to be an Auror, God knows why" I mumbled.

"Because despite your complaining, you love your job. And your good at it" said Remus.

"And I look good in my uniform" I said, cheekily.

"That too". I laughed. "Anyway, you best start getting ready, you only have 2 hours and 43 minutes".

"I don't take that long" I said, indignantly, slapping his leg in a huff. He pushed me off the sofa onto the floor. "Hey, that wasn't nice". I got myself up off the floor and held out my hand to him, "I need a shower".

"Good to know".

"Do you need one?" I asked.

"Probably" he said, slowly. "Where's this going Nymphadora?".

"Conserving water?" I suggested, holding out my hand again. He took it.

"Alright, i'll bite" he said, heaving himself of the sofa.

"I hope so" I trilled, and he rolled his eyes. Typical banter. Typical reality.

* * *

Two hours and 40 minutes later, me and Remus apparated to my parents house, but not before picking up a bottle of wine on the way. Remus had been curious as to why I brought this particular bottle (it was slightly more bitter than most wines, and it was muggle) but he would find out in due course. The door swung open before I even knocked on it, evidence that the apparation alert charms worked.

My dad stood on the other side of the door, as round bellied and familiar as always.

"Hey Daddy" I said, jumping into my dads arms.

"Ah, hello baby girl" he said, pulling away and sizing me up. "Your too thin". I rolled my eyes.

"No, I'm not, your being silly" I argued. He laughed, and looked over my shoulder with a smirk on his face. I pulled away and slipped my hand into Remus's, he'd been watching us from just outside the door. I tugged him inside and shoved the door closed behind us.

"Dad, this is Remus. Remus, this is my dad, Ted Tonks" I introduced. Dad held out his hand and Remus shook it.

"It's good to meet you Sir".

"Please Remus, call me Ted. I haven't been called Sir since we had that apprentice in the shop" said Dad, shivering at the memories.

"And wasn't that a disaster" I muttered.

"What happened?" asked Remus, confused.

"Well, there was an 'accident' where every single shelf became unscrewed from the wall, and every project that we'd been working on smashed into a billion tiny pieces" said Ted, sadly. "Anyway, he's gone. Your here. And we best get in there before your mum goes completely mental".

"She wasn't already?".

"Hey, don't be cheeky" Dad said, then turned to Remus. "You have a lot to put up with my friend, Dora's attitudes are quite..."

"Quirky" offered Remus, "I know, but it makes life more interesting".

Dad smiled fondly. "It does".

"I brought this" I said, holding up a bottle of wine. My mum's favourite.

"Buttering her up Dora?" I stuck my tongue out and he laughed. "Come on through, I hope your hungry, she's cooked enough food to feed an army". He led the way into the kitchen, and I looked back at Remus and raised my eyebrows at him. He looked uncomfortable. I moved close to him and put my hand on the side of his face.

"Hey. Everything's going to be ok" I whispered. He placed his hand on top of mine then pulled it down to his lips.

"I know".

As I pulled him down the hall behind dad, we entered into the kitchen, or as I liked to call it, my mum's zone. It was rather big, with a dining area at one end and multiple cupboards and sides at the other. Mum was standing by the stove overseeing her cooking which smelt delicious. Remus thought so too.

"Smells delicious" he whispered in my ear.

"Thank you" said mum, without turning around, "it's a rather old recipe, one of Dora's favourites though I doubt she would attempt to cook it".

"I'm allergic to cooking" I said, cheekily. She turned round and smiled.

"Indeed", she smiled, "are you not going to greet your mum properly".

"Hey mum" I said, pulling away from Remus and going to hug her. Once my head was on her shoulder looking away from the men I whispered, "play nice".

"I always do" she whispered back, and pulled away smiling. Until she looked me up and down ofcourse. "Your too thin".

"Dad said the same thing, and like I told him, I'm fine" I said, sighing with amusement, before pulling mum over to Remus. Before I could formerly introduce them, they introduced themselves, and them mum did something that I never thought I would see.

"It's a pleasure to see you again Mrs. Tonks" said Remus, politely, though I could feel the tension. Ah yes, last time they spoke. I was in hospital... not good.

"And you. And I must apologise for last time, I was very rude Remus. I hope you will not judge me to harshly" she said.

"Of course not" he answered, and she smiled, before moving back to the stove.

"Well, dinner will be a little while yet, Dora, why don't you show Remus the rest of the house while you wait?" suggested mum, "Ted dear, I need your help".

"Yes ma'am" said dad, saluting my mum while her back was turned. He then rolled his eyes at me and I tried not to laugh as I pulled Remus from the kitchen. As we walked down the hall I started rambling about the rooms.

"In there is dad's study, basically just a small library with a chair stuck in it, and down there in the living room. That's all we have downstairs, the bedroom are upstairs and a bathroom. Ta-da, tour over, job done" I rambled. He smirked.

"What's in there?" he asked, pointing to the old battered door to the left of the lounge.

"Do you really want to see?" I asked, "it's nothing special, come on". I walked towards the door and opened it gently incase the door broke on me. Inside it was a tiny room with two doors in the floor.

"What are they for?" he asked.

"Help me open these and you'll see" I said, and together we pulled open a door each and revealed a dark staircase leading down. "It's got even freakier since the last time I saw it" I muttered.

"When was that?" he asked. Wow, lots of questions.

"When I was about eight" I said, "it's our basement, creepy place, never stored much down here, and it's always kept locked up".

"Hmmm, interesting" said Remus. I laughed and closed the door I was holding. Remus followed me and soon we were out of the room, back into the hall.

"Wanna check out upstairs?".

"May aswell" I asked, "why did your mum insist you show me around".

"She wants to wait to interrogate you over dinner" I said, without hesitating. Remus paled slightly. I rested my hand on his arms and rubbed it gently. "Don't worry Remus, you'll be fine. She's not that bad, you know. Once you get to know her ofcourse".

"Of course" he echoed. I knew what Remus was worried about, and tried to reassure him.

"Hey, I love you. And they will too" I whispered. "Now, I wanna show you my room, I decorated it myself so it's a bit weird".

My room was up the stairs and halfway down the hall between the bathroom and mum and dad's room. The door was shut, and an old faded weird sisters poster was stuck to the front with a permanent sticking charm. At the time, I'd done it to annoy mum, now it annoyed me. I opened the door quickly and led Remus in. The room was exactly the way I'd left it. I had a double bed which sat in the middle of the room, with black and white sheets. The walls were all white with black and white moving pictures on the walls and several pieces of wooden furniture painted black. I watch Remus walk around the room with an interested look on his face. I started looking over my old room, I'd wanted it to be modern and grown up, and I loved it. I wished my bedroom at my flat looked like this, and I found myself longing to live here again.

"Impressive" whispered Remus, smiling at me, "this is a beautiful room, Dora".

"I designed it with mum when I was sixteen, I wanted it to be modern and grown up" I sighed.

"Well, you achieved it" he said, sitting down on the bed, and patting the space beside him. I walked over and sat down next to him. "Who painted that?" he asked, pointing to a painting on a canvas. It was leaning against the wall because I was always to frightened that it would fall off the wall.

"I did" I whispered. "It's not very good". Remus got up and picked up my old painting and held it up to me. The picture was one I'd seen in a magazine, of a girl sitting on a porch holding an open umbrella over her head. It was badly copied, but mum had convinced me that it was good.

"Dora, this is great. I didn't know you could paint" he said, putting the painting down again.

"I can't, that was just something to do over the summer holidays. There's not much life in this village, so I had to do something. Don't look at it, it's stupid" I muttered. he came over to me and kneeled in front of me.

"It's not stupid" he said, "okay?". I nodded and he kissed me on the cheek, just as mum shouted up the stairs.

"Ah, we're being summoned" I said, jumping up and taking his hand. "We better go".

"I feel like a nervous teen again" muttered Remus, as we made our way downstairs. I giggled and moved into the kitchen, not really understanding him. The table was set on one side of the kitchen and dad was already seated. His head was resting on his hands and he was staring at my mum with sickly puppy dog eyes. Me and Remus sat down so I was sitting next to dad and Remus was sitting next to me.

"Dad, close your mouth, you'll get drool on the table" I said, sarcastically. Dad just laughed at me, and mum came over to the table with her wand held up, levitating four plates in front of her. Mum had made beef stew, which was one of her best dishes, and I loved it. Hopefully, this dinner would go smoothly. I crossed my fingers.

Towards the end of dinner, after some small talk, I was just sipping my butter beer when mum went and asked the question of doom.

"So Remus, what intentions do you have towards my daughter?". I choked on my drink in shock, and dad smirked. He was going to let mum get all this out of her system, I was going to be embarrassed to hell and Remus would run for the hills. man this was a bad idea. It was to soon, I should have left this for awhile. But no, I thought this would be a good idea...

"Mum" I said, quietly.

"Dora is my only daughter, I think as a mother I have a right to know what her, umm- partners intentions are" Mum said, haughtily to him, completely blanking me.

"Mrs Tonks, I know how you feel about me. And I don't blame you, I feel them about myself too. I know I'm not good enough for your daughter, and I never will be. But I do love her, and that in itself is a miracle, because I never believed I would find someone who I could love more than anything, and know she loves me back. I know I'm not a parents first choice of partner for there daughter, but I love her. And I want to be with her. I can't imagine myself without her" he said quietly, but firmly.

"Remus, I'm not judging you, I swear. But you've hurt my daughter once before. I know this because I have seen it. How can you be so sure you won't hurt her again? And it's not just you, what about the rest of the world. Her colleagues, her work, her friends" my mum stated. I felt like interrupting but as I went to my dad squeezed my knee cap in warning and Remus shook his head. They would be having this out, whether I liked it or not. So instead, I sunk back into my seat, and watched two of the people I loved most in the world, 'argue' over me.

"I can't be sure that I will never hurt her. I can't promise you that I won't, because there's always a chance that I might. In more ways than one" he said, quietly, "but I can promise you that i'll try my best not to hurt Nymphadora, and protect her from others who wish to hurt her".

"And her friends. Her work?" asked mum.

"Most of our friends who know us don't care. Though I am concerned about the Ministry, although they seem not to care, I am worried what will happen to Nymphadora if she is found with someone like me as a partner. I do not wish to compromise her, and she knows this, but she's stubborn" explained Remus plainly.

"Stubborn like her mother" said dad, pointily staring at mum. She shifted in her seat.

"I just want what's best for her" muttered mum, defensively.

"I understand that, and so do I. You must think it selfish, but I don't want to live without her. Not anymore" said Remus. He and my mum then had a bizarre sort of staring competition, before my mum nodded and looked away. i could see that was the end of it, and I was relieved. But I was also fuming.

"I can see that we've all finished dinner now. Remus, perhaps you'd join me in the garden for a stroll? And Dora, perhaps you could help your mother clear things away" said dad, sensibly, getting up. Remus nodded, and went to kiss me on the cheek before getting up, but seemed to think better of it and squeezed my hand instead, before letting my dad take him into the garden. Me and mum were left to clear up the plates, and wash and dry them by hand.

After about five minutes, I found myself watching Remus and dad talking in the yard, out of the kitchen window. As mum washed up, I dried up in silence.

"I know your mad with me" said Mum.

"I'm not mad with you" I lied.

"Your as bad as your dad when it comes to lying, Dora" she said, "look sweetheart, you have to see things from my point of view. I know he's a good man, but there are still issues sweetie".

"What issues mum?" I snapped.

"Don't Dora, you can't deny..."

"I'm not mum, I'm not. There's stuff you don't know, I love him mum, more than anything. And you know what, screw my job, and society. They can go to hell" I nearly shouted.

"Dora sweetheart, I didn't mean to upset you" she whispered. "It's just that I know how tough the wizarding world can be. And your my only daughter. I just don't want you to go through the same sort of prejudice that I did. That your dad did. It may not seem like it but I'm trying to protect you because I love you".

"I know how tough it's going to be, and we've only just started, and I know it's going to get harder, but I believe it's worth the risk" I said, "do you regret it? Choosing dad?".

"Of course not" came her immediate response.

"I just want you to be there for me, and even if you don't accept him, accept that I'm happy and that I'm willing to put up with whatever life throws at me, to be with him".

"It's going to take some time, I'm sorry. I guess I'm still stuck in my Black ways, but i'll try. Your happiness is important to me, so I guess I can try and be nicer. I just don't want to see you hurt. He hurt you once before, I don't know how because you won't tell me anything, but I know that he has".

"You can't protect me forever. Maybe I will get hurt. Maybe my heart will be shattered into a million tiny little pieces but that is my choice. I choose who I'm with and what i do and how I do it. And if I get hurt, I learn from it because it was my choice" I explained.

"How did you become so smart?" she asked.

"I had a great mum to teach me" I whispered, and then she did the unthinkable. She cried. I hugged her tight and she hugged me back, rubbing my back with her hand like she used to when I was a kid.

"Come and see me more often, please. I miss having my baby girl around, it feels like I'm losing you" she whispered, pulling away.

"Your never going to lose me mum" I smiled, "and thank you. I am still kind of mad at you, but I think I understand why". After that we carried on with the dishes, giggling and talking about the old painting in my room that Remus had found. My mind however, was elsewhere. I had thought about these things a hundred times over, and I got stick from Dawlish about it all the time. About everything really. And I knew werewolves were being investigated, and that being with Remus was possibly putting my career at risk, but I didn't care. I honestly didn't care.

When Remus and dad came back in, dad was smiling and Remus looked happier than he had before. Mum pulled him over to one side before we left, and dad did the same with me, whispering words of reassurance.

When we got home that night, Remus was very quiet, and I kept watching him as we got ready for bed. That was the first night we spent without talking to each other. The only comfort I could take from night was the fact that his arms stayed around me the entire night and he whispered' I love you' before turning out the lights.

* * *

"Robards is no good, at least Scrimgeour knew what he was doing" muttered Savage, grumpily. He was sitting on the spare chair in my cramped little office. I was pouring over some reports that I'd been given to check. So many attacks, hardly any arrests.

"We just have to do ours job Mark, best we can. Is Kingsley in today?" I asked.

"I believe he was in this morning, Jacob spoke to him" Savage said, swivelling on his chair, a pensive look on his face.

"How's things between you two?" I asked, Savage smiled happily.

"Things are good. What about you and Remus?".

"Very good" I said, slyly. Savage laughed. "We went to my parents for dinner last night".

"And how did that go?".

"It was... difficult. Mum doesn't really approve and it was awkward for quite a lot of it. I don't know, mainly I just wanna forget it, but some of the stuff she brought up has gotten to me a bit".

"Like what?" he asked, picking up my spare quills and flicking them across the desk.

"Just stuff, prejudices mainly. Remus being a werewolf mainly, I think...".

"I understand Tonks, and she does have a point" said Savage, "but she's a mother, they worry about us constantly. I'm sure things will be ok Tonks, just give her some time. What about your dad?".

"He seems ok with it. He whispered to me before we left that everything would be ok, as long as I was happy he'd be happy for me. He had a private talk with Remus though" I muttered more to myself than everything.

"I shouldn't worry about it then. Just take it one step at a time" Savage said, I nodded. "And now I'm bored".

"Go find something to do then" I muttered, turning back to my work. I needed to get this done before I left for the Order meeting tonight. As I began writing again, there came a knock at the door and Mark swivelled round to answer it. As the door slid open, I saw Dawlish standing there looking grim.

"You two, meeting in the old meeting room on the second floor, in ten minutes" he said, before storming off.

"Wait, why?" shouted Savage, but Dawlish ignored him and began knocking on other Auror office doors. Mark then turned to me, but the question died on his lips as I shrugged in confusion.

"Well, i'll quickly finish this off, and then we'll go down, yeah?" I asked.

"Sure".

Ten minutes later we walked into the old meeting room on the second floor, where it seemed every Auror in the Ministry had been assembled. Everyone was sitting in seat squashed around a large table. Some were sitting on the outskirts of other peoples chairs because there wasn't enough room. Several men were standing at the back of the room leaning against the wall. Me and Savage went to stand with them.

Robards then swept into the room and the lull of conversation died immediately. Every eye focused on him. He looked rather miserable to my eyes, but that may be the way his face is. I don't think I'd ever seen him happy.

"Due to the lack of progress and arrests within the last few months, the Ministry has decided that as a way of encouraging you all, you will each be given a target number for each week and if you reach the target you will be given bonuses. However, if you fail to reach your target your pay check will suffer for it" he stopped speaking. In the room there was a shocked and disbelieving silence, until the shout started of course.

"Thats preposterous".

"How dare they!".

"This isn't right, they can't expect us to work like this".

"How are we to catch a certain amount per week, are we being encouraged to arrest everyone who has had the finger pointed at them?" asked a man beside me. Everyone listened to this and turned straight to Robards, glaring. He was standing in front of us trying to look important, but he looked pathetic and small. Everyone in the room disliked him from this point.

"Are you having the same target then?" asked Savage from beside me.

"Well, I- I have different responsibilities than the rest of you" he stammered, and there were cries of disgust from all corners of the room. One by one people began to stand up, slam something and storm out. I was with them, me and Savage pushed ourselves off the wall and walked haughtily out of the room, and ability I'd inherited from my mother and as we threw Robards looks of disgust, he recoiled in fear. He was our head of department? Mundungus could do better.

"Thats disgusting. Downright dirty. How can they expect us to arrest a certain number of people, per person. Half the Wizarding World will be under arrest" snarled Savage. "And where the fuck is Jacob?".

"He didn't want to be in there" said a bloke walking in front of us. "He'd heard it all already, and come to blows with Robards over it. They were shouting at each other not 5 minutes before that sodding meeting".

"Good on him, that Robards is doing my head in. Got a little to big for his boots is what I say. He forgets he was 'one of us' not a year ago" muttered the man to the right of him.

"Hear hear" I snarled, angrily. "Robards was always a it, but to do this... you know, we live on that money. We can't have it taken away just because we don't get enough numbers. Some weeks we have loads of arrests, some we have virtually none. We can't fabricate criminals from nowhere".

"Exactly" agreed the first man who'd spoken. Now that I looked at him, I recognised him as Gareth Tate, and the man on his right was Edwin Hoare. "The Ministry has gone to the dogs if you ask me, lack of real leadership is what's missing. They say we're important yet they treat us like shit, it's a wonder we stick around. I been in this job for 30 years, you'd have thought that'd mean something".

"Evidently not"said Savage, sounding resigned. "I'm going to go check on Jacob, want to come Tonks?".

"No, I wanna get out of this place before I hex someone in rage" I seethed, and the others nodded as if agreeing that my violence was necessary. Which it was, what I wanted to do right now was hit something. I couldn't believe how we were being treated. "Write to me later, I wanna know what Jacob said to Robards" I said to Savage.

"Will do". After that, I sped towards the lift to get out of the building. So I would be at the meeting a little early, who cares. I certainly didn't. My anger was building up, I could feel it bubbling inside of me. I needed to walk first, get this anger out of my system. Walking out of the Ministry was a blur, a strange surreal blur. I couldn't remember anything. All I knew was that thirty minutes later I had apparated several times and walked around for miles until I found myself at a familiar yet unfamiliar spot. It was the play park just around the corner from Grimmauld Place, overlooked by the blocks of flats. I walked over the the rickety swing and sat down, twisting my fist around the cool metal chains and kicking at the ground with my scuffed trainer.

It had been night time the last time I'd been here, and that was two years ago. Why this spot had occurred to me I didn't know, all I knew was that alot had changed in the last two years. With everything. So many people had died over the last two years, more battles had been fought and hearts had been broken and repaired. The Order's numbers decreased, Death eaters activity was more open and the Ministry were slipping further down hill at such an alarming rate that even the oldest and loyalist of workers couldn't deny it. Everything had changed, and I didn't like it. I was never any good with change, I always had to try to hard to get through it.

I looked at the watch on my wrist, it was old and battered now, but still ticking away. I had five minutes until the meeting started and so I forced myself off of the swing and towards a secluded alley where I apparated from.

Arriving at the Burrow I walked around the building instead of going straight for the door. As I'd hope, Ginny was sitting on the seat at her bedroom window, reading something. She wasn't looking down, so I levitated myself up to her window and stood on the sill. I knocked three times and she jumped out of her skin, before pushing the window open and letting me in.

"Tonks, what are you doing?" she asked, half shocked, half amused. I jumped down from the window onto her bedroom floor, and steadied myself. "We do have a front door, you know?" she giggled.

"I'm aware" I smiled, "but I didn't know who was down there, and I don't think I can face anyone at the moment". She looked at me worriedly, and I quickly explained, "it's nothing bad, just work stressing me out. I'm afraid I may lash out at one of them".

"Well, you can stay in here until you feel better" she offered.

"Thanks Gin" I muttered, sitting down on the seat. "Are you ok?".

"I'm fine. Hermione's gone home now, wants to spend some time with her parents" Ginny explained.

"I promise next week I'll come over for a bit of girl time, ok?".

"Ok, thanks Tonks" said Ginny. "Now are you going to tell me what happened to make you angry?" she asked.

"Oooh, I shouldn't. It's top secret" I joked.

"Ahhh, come on. Please?" she practically begged, fluttering her eyelashes. I laughed and gave in, But instead of just telling her about the Ministry meeting from hell, I told her all about last night aswell, and she had some great words of fifteen year old wisdom to share with me on both subjects.

"The Ministry are just a bunch of old coots Tonks, you'll do brilliant anyway and they'll be looking like fools. And as for your mum and dad, there just being like any other mum and dad on the planet. Heaven knows my mum and dad fussed over me when I dated Michael, and Dean, and Harry. You just have to whack on a smile and kindly explain that it's none of there business, and they can either like it or lump it" she said, plainly. So plainly infact, that I laughed.

"Thanks Ginny, thats some great advice. Straight to the point".

"No point beating around the bush" she muttered. "Oh and by the way, your meeting is going to start in about ten seconds so you best get down there. Good luck, I have to stay up here".

"Thanks honey" I smiled. "See you next week, or later if you come down after the meeting and I'm still there. Love ya" I said, before racing out of the room and down the stairs. As I got down the stairs I walked towards the kitchen with a smile on my face. A smile that grew wider when I came face to face with those brilliant people in this world that cared for me and accepted me for who I was. And the man who loved me enough to put up with my mum. And I knew everything was, well, not going to be ok in a sense that the world was crumbling as we spoke, but ok for me and Remus, and who cares what others thought really? It was like Ginny said...

They could either Like it or Lump it.

**I like some parts of this chapter and other parts I don't, but what do you think. So many of you add me to your favourites and subscribe, but hardly any of you share our thoughts. I'd love to hear them. Gurugirl xx**


	55. Ordinary Summer Days

**Not many reviews for my last chapter, and i'm kind of bummed, though I understand you were probably busy what with the end of Xmas and such. To those of you who did review, you know who you are, thank you soooo much. I know there are more of you little lot out there, and I would really like to see some reviews, it'll only take a minute or two of your time, and I need reviews like I need caffeine. They make me want to continue the story. This one was updated quicker than the last so I hope that makes you happy.  
**

**Enjoy the chapter, it's short, fluffy and light, but the next one gets darker and hopefully longer(?), see you at the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this. Unfortunately :(  
**

Ordinary Summer Days

The next week, as promised, I was spending my day off sunbathing with Ginny in her front yard, while Remus was off with some of the Order on a mission. We lay side by side, pointing at clouds and soaking up the warmth of the sun. I wore my bright yellow tank top for the occasion, with my denim hotpants and sandals. Ginny was wearing a simple strappy white dress, and big black sunglasses which she pinched from me.

"It's so hot out today" she said.

"Yeah it is".

"It's so hard to imagine anything bad happening elsewhere when there's days like these" she sighed.

"I think we should cherish these days while we still have the Ginny. Man, I forgot how amazing the sun is" I proclaimed.

"I know" agreed Ginny. "Do you reckon you could summon some drinks from the house? There's some lemonade in the cooler, but I can't use magic outside school yet. And I can't be bothered to get up".

"Neither can I" I said, pulling out my wand. _"Accio Lemonade!"_

"And glasses"

_"And two glasses"_ I repeated, and soon the jug of lemonade was floating happily towards us, followed by two glasses. I grabbed the jug and Ginny grabbed the glasses from the air, and I poured the drinks. Then we lay back down again, and tried to sip our drinks without spilling them down us. We failed.

"Oh my god, it's gone down my dress. Mum will kill me" giggled Ginny, putting her glass down. I had already put mine beside me, and had my arms above my head. I was very relaxed.

"Just say it was me. Say I tripped or something" I said, lazily. Ginny giggled.

"I'm glad you came" she said.

"Well, I said I would" I said, "so hows things? Anything you want to talk about?".

"What are the plans for Harry over the summer?" she asked. "Mum won't tell me, she says he's coming here and that's it. Is that it?".

"Pretty much. But before I go any further, how do I know your not an imposter? I don't have a security question for you" I joked.

"How about 'who have you been madly in love with since the age of eleven?'" she suggested, sarcastically.

"I can't use that one" I said, dismissively.

"Why not?".

"Because everyone knows the answer to that one Ginny".

"Hey!" she squealed, slapping my stomach.

"Ow!" I squealed back, sitting up. "That hurt".

"Good". We both laughed at each other for a minute then Ginny became quiet.

"Miss him?" I asked, sympathetically.

"A bit". I raised my eyebrow at her. "Ok, a lot. It's only been like two weeks and I'm acting like I haven't seen him in years. God, what's happened to me" she groaned in annoyance.

"That's called pining, mi amigo" I said, grabbing my glass and gulping half of it down.

"Oh, so your Spanish now" she said, totally disregarding my 'pining' comment.

"Si" I replied, and she giggled.

"Wow, I have a a Spanish sister, and a French soon-to-be sister-in-law" commented Ginny, lying back on the grass with a sigh.

"Ah, come on Gin. She's not that bad" I said, as reassuringly as possible.

"No, I suppose not. At least she's stopped treating me like a two year old. And I actually like the bridesmaid dresses she picked. Don't tell her that though" she said, hurriedly.

"Don't worry, your secrets safe with me".

"So, hows work?" she asked, vaguely, picking up a daisy and be-heading it. I layed back down on the grass, and watched the clouds for a minute before answering.

"It's difficult. If it wasn't for a select few who keep me from going insane, I doubt I'd be there anymore. There's so much pressure, not that I mind to much, but so much depends on targets. I like my job, and I like helping people and feeling like I'm doing some good in this crazy, fucked up world". She giggled. "But I hate my boss, he's an arse".

"What's he done?" she asked.

"Nothing, that's the problem" I muttered. "He doesn't do anything".

"Why not?".

I shrugged. "He's getting a little too big for his boots I think. And I'm not the only one to think it, but no-one will say anything. And the Ministry... I feel like a criminal walking into that place" I shivered.

"Your not a criminal, Tonks. A fashion criminal maybe, but-" she stopped talking as I slapped her leg and she laughed.

"Oi missy, don't diss my clothes" I said, "I like them".

"And so do I, I was just messing Tonksie" she trilled. "What about Professor Lupin, hows things going with him?" she asked.

"Fine. Things are good".

"Where is he now?" she asked.

"What is this, 20 questions?" I asked, huffily, but Ginny just gave me 'the look'. I sighed. "He's with Mad-eye and Kingsley, doing some digging for the Order".

"How long will they be?". It was my turn to give her 'the look'. "What? I just want to know how much time we have before they get here, cause you'll leave then won't you?" she said, sadly.

"Nope, not leaving. I'm spending the day here, whether you like it or not. Prepare to be driven insane" I smirked.

"I'm already insane, have you met my family?".

"Have you met mine?" I retorted, playfully. She laughed for a moment and then became quiet once more, her face screwed up in deep thought. I let her be for awhile, before I finally asked, "what's on your mind?".

"Are you scared?" she asked. "Of your family. I don't mean your mum and dad, I mean..."

"I know who you mean Ginny" I said, quietly. "And i'll let you in on a secret. I'm terrified. But thats one of the things about about being an Auror, we're well trained in hiding our fears" I said, "so, don't go telling your mum, or anyone for that matter, they'll only fuss".

"Have you told Remus?" she said, and I was surprised. She'd only ever called him 'Professor Lupin'. I turned my head to the side to look at her.

"No, so don't be telling him either" I said, "I'm fine Ginny. There are lots of things in life to be afraid of, worse than my lot. Beside, I don't class them as my family. I want nothing to do with them and they want nothing to do with me".

"But, doesn't it hurt your feelings?" she asked. "I mean, I know there horrible, that Lestrange woman is a psycho and the Malfoys" she shivered "but, doesn't it kind of hurt that they want nothing to do with you?".

"You know, no-one's ever asked me that before. They always presume that I don't care. But I do, and sometimes it hurts. But I'm better than they are and I'm surrounded by my real family all the time. Some who are related to me directly and some, like the girl sitting next to me, indirectly".

"I'm related to you?" she asked.

"Very, extremely distantly related, but yes" I said, "it's hard to explain but Sirius told me that your dad was something like his second cousin twice removed. Or something like that, I can never really remember all those little details. And I'm related to Sirius and my mum, obviously, who would have been related the same as Sirius to your dad. So, were very distantly related, probably no blood in it anymore though" I sighed.

"Your still my sister Tonks, which makes us family. I think it's good to have as much family surrounding you as possible in these times. Before we end up losing them" she whispered.

"You won't lose me Ginny" I said, sitting up and hugging her.

"Good" she muttered, before pulling away. "I'm starting to feel slightly depressed, when we should be enjoying ourselves. So, can we do something other than sunbathe, it's a bit boring".

"It is a bit" I agreed. "So what d'you wanna do?".

"How about we go flying?" she suggested. "Mum won't let me on my own, but if you were with me... And there's some great fields around here where people can't see you".

"Sure, I can't remember the last time I went flying" I said, eagerly. "Go tell your mum first though, don't want her worrying".

As soon as Molly said yes, Ginny ran to the shed and found her broomstick and one of the twins broomsticks for me to ride. I would never admit it, but the broomstick I was on was much smoother than my Comet, but I still adored my Comet. It was my first broom, and my last. And it was better than Hogwarts old Shooting Stars.

As we set off over the fields surrounding the Burrow, I couldn't help but to smile as I felt the wind whip around me and the adrenaline pump through my body. It felt fantastic to fly again, and apparently Ginny felt the same way, because she was laughing like a crazy person on the broom next to me.

"I've never been flying just to fly, it's always been about quidditch" she shouted to me. I laughed happily, feeling completely at ease with the world. After several minutes of racing around the fields, we weaved our way through a small woods and slowed down to talk.

"How far are we from home?" asked Ginny.

"I have no clue" I laughed.

"It's quiet out here" she commented, "hey, do you wanna race to the other side of the woods?" suggested Ginny.

"What's on the other side?" I asked.

"Not sure, never been that far before" said Ginny, becoming unsure.

"Well then, we'll have to correct that" I said, and she smiled, obviously happy that I'd agreed. Then we set off, racing through the trees, and laughing into the wind. Ginny was way out in front of me, but I didn't mind, I was too busy concentrating on not bashing into a tree. The branches leapt out all over the place.

As I flew through the trees, I suddenly realised that it was times like these that made the hard times bearable. Sure, we were all going to face tough times, and most of us already had, but in the end it would be worth it. And hopefully there would be more days like these to come. So I just enjoyed it, because you never knew what tomorrow would bring.

"I win" cried Ginny, happily as we came out the other side.

"That you did" I agreed.

"And all that's on the other side is more fields. Fantastic" she muttered, bitterly.

"Typical" I said, "well, race you back" I shouted.

And we went racing back to the Burrow, laughing like idiots and messing around, and just having fun. Of course Ginny beat me, but wasn't there a rule somewhere about letting your little sister win...

* * *

I ran like hell down the street, splashing in puddles and getting soaked through to my socks inside my boots as the rain poured down, harder than ever. It was London, midday, the middle of summer and it was raining. Oh, and did I mention I was chasing a Deatheater along the back streets and Dawlish had vanished from sight?

As I threw curses at him to slow him down, he sent one back over his shoulder that cut across my arms and made it bleed. Still, I figured the rain would wash it away and carried on running, blocking his exits. If your wondering why he doesn't just apparate, it's because we put an apparation block over this area so we could corner him. He was at the top of our target list and we needed to bring him in.

Just then, Dawlish appeared in front of him, out of a nearby alleyway. I sighed in relief, I wasn't alone, even if my company was Dawlish. The Deatheater stood in between us, looking frantically for an exit. There was none.

"Impedimenta" cried Dawlish, and the Deatheater fell. I then stepped forward and conjured ropes, binding his hands and pulling him to his feet. Dawlish stepped forward and took his face in his hand, moving it from side to side.

"Travers, good to see you again" he remarked, grimly. "Come on Tonks, let's bring him in. Get him dry. Send him on a little trip to Azkaban". Travers struggled when he heard that word, and hissed something under his breath, but I wasn't paying attention to his voice. Just dragging him down the street so we could bring him in.

* * *

As I entered the Ministry building, soaked to the skin after delivering Travers to the cells, I made my way towards Proudfoot's office for several reasons. One; his office was considerably bigger than mine. Two; he was good with spells, and even though I could perform drying spells myself, I couldn't be bothered. And number three; I wanted some gossip/chat time and I knew who would be in there for all that.

And as predicted, as I knocked on the door and entered, Mark Savage was lounging in the chair on the opposite side of the desk from Jacob Proudfoot.

"Afternoon Tonks, did you fall in a lake or something?" asked Proudfoot, not looking up from his work.

"No, the weathers terrible out there. It's supposed to be summer" I said, "anyway, at least someone's doing work. Mark, are you going to actually do some work or just lounge there looking pretty?" I asked, sarcastically. it was our running joke, because whenever I saw him, he seemed to be doing nothing at all.

"Well, it's Britain, we're not famed for having the best summer weather. Although I thought it was meant to stay good for awhile. And thanks, hear that Jacob, someone thinks I'm pretty" quipped Mark, to which Jacob grunted. "So, where ya been girlie? And shut the door".

"Don't call me girlie" I snarled, as I shut the door in annoyance. I saw Jacob wince, but he didn't say anything. "I've been arresting a Deatheater with Dawlish. Travers".

"Impressive. Where'd you find him?".

"Muggle baiting in an old Industrial part of London" I said. "There was someone else with him, but he escaped. Don't tell the boss that though".

"Well At least you had a success" said Mark, optimistically.

"Yep, thats all my targets met".

"Until next week" remarked Mark, and I saw Jacob do some weird sort of silent yawn.

"Yeah, thanks for the reminder" I said, "hey, could I have a word with Jacob about something for a minute? In private".

"Sure" said Mark, "i'll see you later".

"See you" said Jacob, looking up and smiling, before Mark walked around me and exited the office. "Thank you" he said heavily to me.

"It's no problem, you looked like you needed saving" I said, "and so do I" I said, pointing at my wet clothing. With a flick of his wand my clothes were dry, and he gestured me to the seat Mark had previously occupied. "So, whats up?".

He put down his quill and sat back, thinking deeply. "Don't get me wrong, I do love him, but he's so full on all the time. I can't keep up" he whispered, because as we'd established, the walls had ears.

"So, take some time out" I said.

"It's not that simple. I like spending time with him outside the office, just us two. But in here, it sounds bad, but it's beginning to feel like a chore" he said, sounding mortified as he said it, like he hadn't wanted to say it out loud.

"Would it help if you swapped partners. So you wouldn't be in each others pockets all the time, driving each other mad. Because I'm sure he feels the same way, he just won't say it" I suggested, thinking as I did so.

"What are you thinking?".

"Well, what if I had Mark for a partner, and you have Dawlish because you seem to be the only one around here who can work with him without going mad. Or I could be your partner and Mark can drive Dawlish crazy. That way, when you see each other after work, it'll be better. You can get your work done and spend time with him, and feel happy about it".

"Your very smart, you know that?" he remarked.

"Thank you".

"But how will you get around Robards?" asked Jacob, grimly.

"Don't worry, I have that plan already worked out".

* * *

"Kingsley" I called, opening his office door to find that he was actually in today. "You got five minutes".

"If it is only five" he said, calmly. "What do you need?".

"I need you to convince Robards to switch partners. Me with Savage, Proudfoot with Dawlish. But I also need it done so it doesn't look like I suggested it" I said, hurriedly.

"And how would I persuade him?" he asked.

"Me and Dawlish do not work well together, we fight all the time and we can never agree on how to handle a situation. However, Proudfoot and Dawlish work well together because they know each other well and play to each others strengths" I improvised. "Please Sir, it's for a friends sanity, not to mention mine" I practically begged.

He seemed to consider this for a moment. "I'll see what I can do".

Twenty minutes later, after I had thanked Kingsley, I was sitting in my office when there was a knock on the door. I quickly pulled my paper work towards me, to make it look like I had been working, not daydreaming.

"Come in" I said, quickly. The door slid open, and there stood Robards, looking grim but resolute. Oh dear... "Afternoon Sir, what can I do for you" I said, politely.

"I have heard from several members of staff that you and your current Auror partner Dawlish have not been working to well together, and as a productive department, we can't have that. I understand that perhaps Dawlish is not the best of choice for you, considering how alike you are"-now I'm offended- "therefore, I am reassigning partners. You will work with Proudfoot from now on, and his current partner Savage shall work with Dawlish".

"Ok sir" I said, secretly screaming 'why not Savage?'. He nodded curtly and looked at my work.

"I'll leave you to your work now Miss Tonks" he said, "oh, and well done on the Travers capture, it's odd really, how you don't seem to work well together and yet you captured him". And then he left. I cringed, I forgot that fact that no matter who I'm partnered with, we always get good results, because if we weren't any good we wouldn't be here.

A minute after he left, an inter-departmental memo flew onto my desk and unfolded itself.

_It was the best I could do, he doesn't like taking advice from me. I believe he sees me as a threat. I hope the result was pleasing. See you around. K_

I hastily grabbed a memo and scribbled back to him,

_Thanks a lot, it worked, except he changed the partners. Never mind, it's still an improvement, and hopefully things will work out. P.s. You are a threat. T_

I sent it back, and then pulled the paper work towards me and started filling in the details of Travers arrest. Not a minute later, the memo was back and lying on my work. It unfolded to show a tiny message which made me snort and feel incredibly smug.

_I know._

* * *

When I arrived home that evening, it was incredibly late, but at least the rain had stopped. I ran up the steps towards my flat feeling tired but relieved that another stressful day was over. After releasing the wards and charms on my flat, I stepped inside, shutting the door behind me with a snap.

Looking up at me over the top of his book, Remus smiled wearily, as though he had done something that he was afraid would upset me, or make me mad. I pretended to ignored this and concentrated on taking off my boots, and chucking my cloak on the table. It missed. I then dragged myself over to the sofa and sat down. Remus's book went down, and his arm came around me.

He kissed my hair tenderly. "Hows was your day?" he asked, perfectly normally. Except it wasn't.

"It was good" I said, carefully. "And yours?" I asked in return.

"Interesting" he said, before moving his book back towards him and reading it so that I could also see the pages. It was an old Sherlock Holmes novel, which I had found under a pile of his clothes when I tripped over them the other day. He said they were there for safe keeping. I knew that really meant that he was keeping them safe from me and my clumsy feel.

"How interesting?" I ventured.

"Just interesting" he sighed, before folding the page over deliberately slowly, and shutting the book. He then placed in on the coffee table and turned to look at me. "I did something today, and I don't know how you'll feel about it".

I swallowed nervously. "What did you do?".

"I went to see your parents".

_tbc..._

**Hey guys, hope you liked my chapter. What will her reaction be, considering...? I love writing this story, and I really want to continue this (and intend to), but I really do want to know what you thought of this. Are you enjoying reading it? Is there anything you want to see in the story, because I will try my best to put it in, I know what it's like to want to see something in a story. Come on guys, help a poor writer out. Please? I don't usually beg, but this sounds a bit like it. Please have mercy on me. Review? Review! ... **

**P.s. in the next chapter I shall put up a breif plan of how the chapters are gunna work from now till they get married, just so your informed but the plot isn't spoiled. Oh, and the next chapter is half done, so it should be up relatively soon.  
**


	56. Pain and Fury

**OMG! So many reviews! So many, i'm overwhelmed. You guys are absolutely amazing, and because you all reviewed, this chapter is dedicated to you. This may take awhile but here is all the incredible people this is dedicated to:**

_ClaraMay, Me (I hope you remember who you are), Susanna, QueenSunset, remuslover101, NymphadoraTonks-RemusLupin, 7, Wynn Hygeorht, Dimcairien, sarlovesoccer, Furionknight, Jenanistonrockz, felixlee14, meissa, Rose Lily Black, booknerd1012, Electric-Blue-Monkey, HollytheKitty, Sarah, Raindancer110, Little Miss Random, iheartmoony7, AnMarie10, mollyollyluvsHP, AoiKuroNekoSan and Luisa._

**P.s. some of you may feel the urge to shoot me after you read this, mainly because i'm a tease. But don't worry and please warn me to wear my bullet proof vest. You'll like this chapter (I hope) but you'll love chapter 57... that is all.**

Pain and Fury

_Continued..._

I stared at him for a moment before blinking in confusion. "Why?".

"I felt like we left it awkwardly the other night, and I wanted to talk some things through with your parents anyway. Both to do with you, and some safety measures that I think need to be taken sooner rather than later. Just stuff like that, your not mad are you?" he asked, awkwardly.

"Not mad, just - bemused I guess" I whispered, "you went without me, and without telling me. Why?".

"It was just something I needed to do on my own Dora. I can't explain it, but you'll understand soon, I promise" he said, and I was suddenly overcome with irrational anger. I felt like I was being treated like a child.

"Stop treating me like a kid Remus" I burst out, "did you think I would not want you going near my parents? I'm not that bad Remus, I don't want to control you. Merlin, give me some credit" I said, standing up and stomping from the room. Like a child. Fantastic, my argument was ruined. I couldn't understand why I'd just done that, but for the moment I didn't care. In about five minutes I would though.

I walked into my small kitchen and grabbed a glass from the shelf before filling it up with water, and gulping it down quickly. I then refilled it as I heard cautious footsteps approach the kitchen. I felt his presence as he entered the room and leaned against the door frame, watching me.

"I never meant to treat you like a child" he said, quietly. Something in his voice made guilt wash over me, and made me feel foolish.

"I know, I shouldn't have said that" I muttered, not turning around. "I'm just stressed, I guess". I felt him moved closer to me, and when his hands rested on my shoulders I sighed, somewhat sadly.

"You need to relax love" he whispered, massaging my shoulders with his hands. I felt knots loosen under his warm hands that I hadn't even realised were there. I just hummed and leaned back into him. Once he was done with my shoulder he moved his arms to my waist and kissed my neck. "I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Don't be, you didn't do anything wrong" I mumbled back, "So, how were my parents?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"They're fine" he answered.

"And how were they with you?" I whispered.

"They were fine with me too" he said, "I spent some time talking to your mum, about all sorts of things" he said, and must have known I was about to ask what those things were, because he carried on talking. "Sirius, Hogwarts, different prejudices. She even asked about my 'condition'. I think maybe we can get along all right" he murmured, sounding unsure. I didn't press it.

"Did you go there because of me?" I whispered.

"I went there for you. And for me. Your parents mean a lot to you" he said, I sighed. Why did he have to be such a good guy, and I have be such an arse.

"Thank you" I said, turning to kiss him but before I could, my tummy interrupted by growling loudly. I groaned and put my head to his shoulder. He laughed.

"You go relax for a bit, and i'll make dinner".

"My little domestic God" I trilled, leaning up and pecking him on the lips. "You sure?".

"Yes" he asked. "Go sit down" he said, kissing my hair, then pushing me gently towards the door. As I entered the my tiny living room and made myself comfortable on the couch, I realised just how much I loved my life when it was like this. There was just one thing that was bugging me. The little voice in my head that sounded very much like the voice of someone I loathed, asking me a question that I wanted to punch in the face.

How long can it last?

* * *

Days were passing slowly I noted as I looked at my wall calendar. The third week of June was almost over, but it seemed to be dragging on, like it didn't want to pass.

Remus was with some of the Order today, I wasn't sure who because I hadn't been paying an awful lot of attention to him when he'd been explaining things. I think he knew I wasn't really listening, I had been to preoccupied at the time and the plans he had with the Order didn't interest me at the time. Now, sitting in my cubicle after being told to hang around for a bit by Proudfoot, I was starting to wonder what he was up to. I swear I heard him say 'Ministry' at some point. I sighed, and walked out of my cubicle to where a group of Aurors were standing, waiting for Proudfoot also. There were a few I recognised by name, but others I only knew by face. I saw Mark standing with Dawlish, Gareth and Edwin, so went over to greet them.

"Any idea what were doing Tonks?" asked Savage.

"I was about to ask you the same thing" I said, "I think we're patrolling or something, Proudfoot went to find out".

"Well, at least we'll be doing something. Getting out there" said Edwin. His partner Gareth stood to the side of him, nodding in agreement. They were like a double act, I never saw one without the other.

"Sure" said Dawlish. "Sometime today would be good though". As much as I loathed Dawlish, I couldn't help but agree. Proudfoot was taking his sweet time about this. And, just as I thought this, Proudfoot appeared and motioned everyone to gather round.

"All right you lot, listen up. The Minister is keen to improve the public's view on us Auror's and the Ministry itself. So, Robards has informed me that today we shall be patrolling in Diagon Alley, and spreading out from there. We apparate to the farthest end of Diagon Alley, then split off into our pairs to search the streets and keep watch. that's why there's sixteen of us, Diagon Alley is no longer a safe place, far from it. The Deatheater activity has increased and it's our job to stamp it out. Let's go" he commanded, and all of us set off towards the Auditorium in order to apparate to Diagon Alley.

"I'm not so sure about this" muttered Gareth from up ahead. Others seemed to agree, but kept quiet. I looked at Proudfoot, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at Savage who was up ahead with Dawlish. I wondered what was going through his head.

Turns out Gareth was right to feel unsure. As soon as we landed in the quieter and less open side of Diagon Alley, we were surrounded. They were already waiting for us, how was that? How did they know? But there was no time for questions, as screams of curses filled the air and every Auror scattered amongst the Deatheaters. We were out numbered, and even in the daylight the world seemed to have turned dark.

We fought hard against the onslaught of curses, but there was no way we were going to bring anyone into custody. The only thing we could do was fight them off, make sure all the citizens were out of the way then get the hell out ourselves. Luckily, this wasn't a very popular destination nowadays, and so no wizards or witches were about. Just us, and them.

I was back to back with Proudfoot, fighting two deatheaters, being backed into a corner. As spell flew at me which I was unable to block I felt a sharp pain, like a knife tearing through the flesh of my leg, but before I could assess the damage another spell was cast sending what felt like an earthquake across Diagon Alley. I was pushed to the floor along with many others, though I couldn't really see. And then something much worse happened.

"ADAVA KEDAVRA" one of the masked figures cried, and there was a flash of green. I saw it hit him, saw the shock in his face as he spun in slow motion then fell to the floor. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. The earth seemed to stand still, and all the noise around me became fuzzy, my vision blurred.

"TONKS!" shouted someone from what seemed from the distance. Then Proudfoot jumped in front of me as the Deatheater I'd been duelling jumped at me. Before my eyes, he was laying into Proudfoot, and before I could register what I was doing, I dived at him and pushed him to the floor, struggling to keep him at bay. I jumped off him and cast impedimenta at him, before pulling Proudfoot from the floor. Aurors were apparating away, and in the confusion, and the Deatheaters distraction, I pulled Proudfoot away too.

_

* * *

Third person POV. Remus._

Remus stood in Scrimgeour's office along with Mad-eye and Kingsley. Trying to reason with Scrimgeour was proving a trickier task than they had first expected.

"The Ministry is doing all it can, in fact, Robards has informed me that the Aurors have gone to Diagon Alley today to stamp down on the number of Deatheater attacks that have occurred there. As the Order of the Phoenix, you have no authority here although I do appreciate your concern and take your thoughts into consideration" said Scrimgeour, importantly.

"Like hell you do" growled Mad-eye.

"I would expect nothing less from the likes of you two, Dumbledore's choice was a little odd though I consider your worths. But you Kingsley, do you really doubt the Ministry that much?".

"Minister, I do not think you realise-". There was a sharp knock on the door.

"Come back later, I'm busy" barked Scrimgeour, but the door opened anyway. A man in his late thirties walked in, he was balding on top and had a large cut down one cheek. "I thought I said-"

"I'm afraid it cannot wait Sir" the man said importantly, and Remus couldn't help but admire the man's courage.

"Well, what is it then?" ordered Scrimgeour. The man moved clumsily into the room and towards the desk.

"They were waiting for us Sir, many of them. We were outnumbered. They must have known there were Aurors out on the streets today. It was chaos" said the man, his voice sounded pleading.

"Where is Robards? How many were sent out?" ordered Scrimgeour quickly. The mans eyes darted around the room, onto the three men standing there with grim expressions on their faces and then back to Scrimgeour.

"Robards is in his office, he did not come with us, but he told me I must inform you. Sixteen of us went altogether, but we were scattered minutes after we arrived. A head count has been done, five are missing".

"Who?". This question did not come from Scrimgeour, but from Mad-eye. Remus, who was standing beside him, was almost trembling with fear. They were thinking along the same lines.

The man turned to address Mad-eye, turning his back on Scrimgeour which he did not appreciate.

"Gareth Tate, Edwin Hoare, Jacob Proudfoot, Mark Savage and Nymphadora Tonks" said the man. Remus's insides went cold.

_

* * *

Nymphadora's POV_

"Proudfoot stop squirming, your like a little girl" I hissed. We were squeezed inside a dark alley way just off of the end of Diagon Alley. After being attacked, even if only for a few second, by some mad Deatheater, Proudfoot's chest was bleeding through his shirt and although I'd seen worse, the loss of blood was starting to worry me. I looked at it carefully, it looked as though he had just laid into him with his fists, but still, the bleeding was bad.

"You try being in my shoes, Nymphadora" he hissed back, as I poked him with my wand.

"No thanks, polyester is just not me" I muttered. He took a minute to register what I had said, and then laughed. I used his distraction to hurriedly and dodgily repair some the last of his wounds. "They should hold for awhile, there not to serious but they'll never fully heal. What the hell possessed you to jump in front of him?".

"He was aiming for you" he muttered.

"Hmmm, courageous idiot, you sure your not a Griffindor?" I asked.

"No, 100% Ravenclaw" he muttered. "Where's Mark? Where's the others?".

"I don't know, but we have to get out of here, and quickly. Some friends of mine own a shop on the other side of Diagon Alley, we can apparate to the store, then get you to St. Mungos from there" I decided, grabbing the wall to stand up. Once I was up, I reached for Proudfoot and pulled out my wand. "Apparating in your condition may knock you out" I warned. He nodded. We apparated to Fred and George's Shop and as predicted, he fainted on me. Terrific, considering the pain in my leg had increased. As I looked down to see what the damage was, I saw that my trousers were torn just below the knee and blood was dribbling out slowly. In a split second decision, I pulled my cloak over to shield it from sight, determined to get Jacob sorted first. I half dragged half carried him into the shop, trying to forget the dreadful things that had just happened and focused on the task in hand. I wondered whether anyone else had seen him, I couldn't get the image out of my mind. Proudfoot stirred.

"Nymphadora".

"Don't call me that" I muttered.

"I saw him fall didn't I? I wasn't imagining it" he said, weakly.

"Yes" I said, quietly. "But we can't talk about that now, we need to get you fixed up".

"And what about you" he groaned as the door swung shut behind us. "Your leg is bleeding, I saw it".

"I'll be fine, just a cut. Stop talking, your losing a lot of blood and your very weak, we need to get you too Mungos" I whispered. "Fred! George!" I called.

"Tonks" questioned a voice from behind a shelf. Fred peered around it curiously. "What are you doing- oh Merlin, he's bleeding".

"Yes, listen, I need your help" he came closer, and helped me with Proudfoot. "Can you floo him to for me, please?".

"Where are you going?" slurred Proudfoot.

"I have to go back, see if there gone. See if I can find-" but I couldn't finish the sentence. Proudfoot understood, and even though Fred didn't understand, he assured me that he would take Proudfoot safely to St. Mungos, and I promised him a favour whenever he needed one. As long as it was legal.

I watched Fred help Proudfoot to the fireplace while calling George down to close the shop. As soon as they were engulfed in emerald flames, I ran back out of the store and apparated to the dark alley that I'd been in previously. Before doing anything, I looked down at my leg and realised that Proudfoot had been exaggerating. It was just a scratch at most and had only bled a little through my trousers though the blood had made the material stick to my leg. It was quickly repaired with a flick of my wand.

I carefully stepped out of the alley way with my wand held up, taking my time to look around and make sure there would be no-one to jump out and attack me. Placing one foot in front of the other, I moved further down the alley into the light and shifted my head slightly so I could see the main street. It was empty. I moved forwards quickly and stepped from the alley, my head swivelling from side to side in confusion. Had they gone? Or were they just hiding? Bidding there time?

As I looked up and down the street, I saw no sign of the- of his body. His body. I still couldn't quite get it through my head, and had a funny feeling that I never wanted it to. Just an hour ago he'd been, well, alive. He'd been talking to me, large as life. And now he was- I couldn't bring myself to think the word, but I knew. I wondered if anyone else did.

With a sense of professionalism that I never knew I possessed, I determined that the body was no longer here. I would have to go the Ministry, report Proudfoot's injuries and inform the Minister and Robards of his death. No, not 'his', Edwin's death. Edwin Hoare. A great Auror who had done nothing to warrant such an end. The memory flew back into my mind and made me feel violently sick. I apparated as soon as possible.

Getting back to the Ministry was easy. Walking into the Auror department and seeing the faces of the others turn to you with mixtures of relief and questioning eyes, was not.

My eyes hastily scanned the gathering of Aurors talking in heated voices outside the row of cubicles that made up our departments offices. I couldn't see any sign of Mark among them, and hoped that he was just in his office or somewhere equally as 'safe'. Next I looked for Gareth, who had been Edwin's Auror partner. He wasn't there either.

"Why is everyone out here?" I asked, as I drew closer.

"Were waiting to hear from Robards, Scrimgeour and some Order lot are in their with him" said one man, "and it isn't everyone, four people are still missing, but it's good your back".

"Why are the Order here?" I asked, feeling panicky. If the Order were here, maybe Remus was here, and as stupid as it sounded I couldn't face him right now. While I was at work, I did the job and left my personal life for home. But how was I supposed to not face him, if he was only up the corridor. My mind was running away with me, I didn't even know who was here, or who else was missing. Though I had a vague idea.

"No idea, they were talking to the Minister about something and heard about what happened. Think they wanted to know what was happening. Kingsley's in there too" said another man bitterly. Sounded like most didn't like the Order, and I kept my mouth shut. Though it was known that I was with the Order, I don't think too many people cared.

"Who's still missing?" I asked.

"Proudfoot, Savage, Tate and Hoare" answered the first man.

"Proudfoot is in St. Mungos, he'll be fine. As for Edwin-" I was cut off as the department doors opened and Mark and Gareth stumbled in, looking worse for wear. There was dry blood in Mark's usually pristine hair, and Gareth was limping and wincing with every step. Everyone turned towards them, and I rushed towards Mark, hugging him tight. He looked awful.

"Hey there" he muttered, bitterly.

"Hey" I muttered, "Proudfoot's in Hospital" I mumbled, his eyes grew wide in fear, "he's fine, just a bit scratched up. You should go see him in a bit, after we've seen the Minister and Robards" I said. Gareth moved closer to the group, and asked the one question on everybody's minds.

"So, did we get anyone?". Everyone either sighed or laughed humorlessly. "We got one, that's why we were so long, had to get him in the cells".

"That makes three altogether" said an older woman, standing at the back of the group. I couldn't remember her name, but her last name was Roach. Lovely. One man moved away and went to our Head of Departments office. I watched him go, until Gareth asked something that made everyone puzzled, except me.

"Where's Ed?" he asked, addressing everyone. I took a deep breath and said it, before I choked.

"He's dead" I said, quietly, but clearly so everyone heard. They all turned to stare at me and just beyond them I saw the Minister and Robards, with Kingsley, Mad-eye and Remus. I didn't care why they were here, but I wished they weren't. The look Remus was giving me was killing me. I nearly choked, bad phrasing. He made to move towards me but I shook my head discreetly. I needed to do this alone. "He was by me and Proudfoot when it happened. I saw it. I went back afterwards, but there was no sign of the body" I said, my eyes meeting Robards, then the Minister's, and then Gareth. I couldn't think of a comparison to how utterly devastated he looked. "I'm so sorry" I said, stepping towards him and putting my hand on his shoulder.

He looked at me without really seeing me. "He was my best friend. I've known him since Hogwarts" he whispered, and then did something that left me dumbfounded. He cried. There had only been a few times in my life when I'd seen a grown man cry, this was one of the few. Before I realised what I was doing, I pulled him into a hug and let him cry on my shoulder. I felt Mark move forward and another Auror, who put there arms around Gareth and pulled him back so I wasn't crushed. I looked at the others who looked shocked and horrified at the thought. And now I stared at them, I realised a truly daunting thing. He was one of us. And he had died. I looked around at everyone and realised we were all thinking along the same lines. How many more of the people standing in this corridor would not live to see the end?

Robards and the Minister stepped forward, along with Kingsley. Gareth was led away by an Auror who I didn't know, and Mark pushed me forward to speak to Robards. Mad-eye and Remus were watching me closely, but I refused to meet their eyes. While I was at work, I was at work. I had to be professional, and something made me feel like if I got to close to Remus right now, everything might seem more real. So ignoring him was easier.

"Miss Tonks" said Robards, "would you like to explain?" he said, more gently than I ever thought he was capable of.

"What's to explain" said Dawlish, roughly. "We arrested three deatheaters, Proudfoot's in hospital and one of our oldest colleagues is dead". For once, I found myself inwardly thanking Dawlish.

"I'm sorry sir" I said, "I shouldn't have announced such a thing the way I did. I just felt that everyone had the right to know".

"Don't worry Tonks, you did well" said Kingsley, in his deep voice. There were murmurs of agreement from behind me that made me feel slightly relieved.

"Minister, with your permission, might I go to St. Mungos and see how Proudfoot is?" asked Savage, trying hard to school his emotions, but I felt him shaking beside me.

"Of course" said Scrimgeour, before turning back to me.

"Robards" barked one of the Aurors, "I think many of us feel that we need to get back out there. We need to hunt down those who did this".

"Hear hear" said another.

"And even if you refuse, we'll go anyway" said Dawlish.

"The Deatheaters won't have gone far, they may still be in Diagon Alley as we speak. I would advise you all to get back out there, bring as many in as possible. We will show them that they cannot take one of our own without any form of retribution" said Robards, and for once, I agreed with what he was saying. I couldn't tell you how the next events happened, because it was too bizarre. The Aurors as one moved off, looking angry but determined. I guess when you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. Me and Mark were the only one's left now, standing in front of the Minister, Robards, Kingsley, Mad-eye and Remus.

"I need to go to St. Mungos too" I said, "I have to make sure Proudfoot got there".

"What do you mean?" asked Robards.

"I needed to go back to find the body, I left Proudfoot in the care of some acquaintances of mine" I said, firmly.

"Very well" he replied, "I need to go see Robards wife" he said to the Minister, and then left too. The Minister nodded to us all, looking resigned, and swiftly exited. Mark must have sensed the tension between me and the three remaining males.

"I'll meet you there" he said, giving my arm a quick squeeze then leaving. The three remaining men looked at me, and I didn't know what to say. Inside, I was tearing up.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to act casual. And failed. Miserably.

"Came to have a word with old Scrimgeour about some of the things that are happening in this place" muttered Mad-eye, in a growl.

"Shouldn't you be with the muggle Prime Minister? Or are you in for today?" I turned to Kingsley.

"I should be getting back there now, but the Prime Minister can handle things for an hour or two without me" he said, and if I hadn't been looking, I thought I saw an air of smugness in his features.

"Ok" I turned to Remus... my partner... my boyfriend... and I didn't know what to say. I felt embarrassed and exhausted, and I really wanted to talk to him when it was just the two of us. I reached up and hugged him, which seemed to take him by surprise, but he hugged back. "Can I talk to you at home, after I've been to see Proudfoot?" I whispered in his ear.

"Of course" he whispered back, "I'm just glad your ok, I was worried".

I pulled back. "I'm fine. And I'm off" I said, waving vaguely to the other two then looking Remus in the eyes. "I'll see you later".

When I got to St. Mungos with Mark, Jacob was sitting up on a bad with bandages around his waist, talking to the Weasley twins who waved cheerfully to me as I walked in. After Jacob shook there hands gratefully and promised them that if they ever needed anything they could come to him anytime, I walked with the twins out of the hospital, feeling that Proudfoot was fine with Mark beside him. He seemed to be milking the attention and I didn't want to get in the way. I wanted to go home. It had been a hard day.

When I got back to the flat, I found Remus sitting on our bed, watching me closely as I slipped off my cloak and shoes and sat down on the bed beside him. He kept quiet, watching me with that intensity that made me want to spill every thought that was whizzing around my mind. In the end, I couldn't bare it.

"Could you not look at me like that" I whispered, "he died. He was a good man and he died. In front of me. And I didn't do anything to help him. I couldn't". His hand moved out and stroked the side of my face lightly, pushing some hair from out of my eyes, not realising that I had intentionally morphed it to fall into my face. Suddenly I felt compelled to tell him everything. "I feel exhausted. Physically, emotionally and all that other stuff in between. Today, I just- it's getting to be..." I choked. He pulled me into his arms and held me tightly and I sobbed on his shoulder.

"Too much" he whispered, finishing my sentence. "Oh baby..." he whispered gently. I could tell from the way he said it that he cared, he was trying to comfort me and he was a big comfort. I felt like he was my life line, and I was clinging on for dear life... not to mention my sanity.

"I've never seen something like that before, they prepare you for it, but- it's not the same" I mumbled into his shirt.

"I know, I know" he said, "it's awful, as if dealing with them passing away isn't bad enough, but for it to happen right in front of you... your never quite the same again". He said this with such knowledge, like he knew exactly what I was going through. And after a minute of thought, I realised he did.

"Sirius" I whispered, pulling away. "You saw him die, didn't you? I never thought. Remus, I'm so sorry".

"I'm sorry too" he said, pulling me back into his arms. "Sorry that he died. Sorry that people are getting hurt, that people are losing the ones they love to this war. I've lost plenty, and today made me realise, I couldn't bare to lose you. Without you...".

"Hey" I said, cutting him off and putting my finger to his lips. "Don't talk like that. Your not going to lose me because I'm not going anywhere, and no-one can take me away from you. Or you from me".

He sighed sadly, and buried his face in my neck. I felt his tears on my neck and laid down on the bed with him, holding him close. It seemed we'd both had really bad days.

"I thought I'd lost you today. When they said you were missing... you can't imagine what was going through my head".

"I'm right here" I said, then asked "what would Sirius say if he could see us now?".

"He'd say 'stop being a cry baby Moony, my cousin is tougher than she looks'" he said, in an uncanny impersonation, and I told him so. "Thank you".

"I miss him you know, I guess I never allowed myself to think it until now. I never got to really know him, it's so cruel the way he was taken like that. Especially for you. He was your best friend" I said, sadly.

"He was. They all were. But James, Lily and Sirius are dead, and Peter's a traitor" he growled, "I'm the last Marauder".

"But your not alone" I said, because something in his voice sounded so low.

"Not anymore, and I never want to be. I never liked solitude" he confessed.

"Me neither" I said, "I was so glad when I joined the Order. I met so many great people and I wasn't on my own anymore. I had something else to look forward too. Even though now, it turns out that it's quite different".

"I'm glad you joined, otherwise I wouldn't have known you. I can't imagine that now" he muttered. "I love you, but I do miss Sirius. I miss my friends, and the way it used to be. Things seemed so much simpler back then".

"I'm sorry baby" I whispered. "I'm so so sorry..."

The rest of the day passed quickly, through our re-telling of times when things were simpler. When people were happy and the world seemed like safe place to be. Where kids started adventures and had no fears of dark threats from above. Where people didn't die everyday in front of you, and where you still had all those you loved around you, because the world hadn't cruelly snatched them away yet. I spent the night crying myself to sleep in Remus's arms. He held me close and pushed back my hair soothingly as I cried for those we'd lost, and those who we had yet to lose.

**Ok, so, am I offically mean? Don't worry people, I know what you all want, and you will get it, you just have to a little patience. LOL, I'm cruel I know, feel free to chuck heavy blunt objects at me. OK, so please please please review, I loved all your reviews from last time and I try to reply to as many as I possibly can. It's not easy sometimes, but I do try. Review xx**


	57. Perfection

**Because you were annoymous, i'm answering you here:**

_Susanna: Yep, Savage is Mark and Proudfoot is Jacob. To make it clear, I will use their first names when she talking or describing them. When they themselves talk, I shall use their last name. :)_

_Me (not me, the other me... that makes no sense): Yes, a little to dramatic. Maybe you should just keep your name as 'ME'?_

_lol978: I just did ;)_

**I bet you can guess what happens in the chapter. I've dropped alot of hints. Sorry it's so late, life gets hectic sometimes and time runs away from me. Thanks to all who reviewed, you made my day/s.**

Perfection

The next day I got up for work quietly, careful not to disturb my partner, who was sleeping peacefully in bed. I got changed into my Auror robes, and yawned wide as I entered the kitchen. The sun was coming up over London, but I couldn't appreciate it without my morning cup of coffee. While the kettle was boiling I found myself drifting back towards the bedroom, leaning against the doorway and watching Remus sleep. My eyes roamed over every part of his body that wasn't covered by sheets, before cursing silently that the sheets were there. I watched as he turned over in his sleep, and I had a full view of his well toned chest. Maybe it was the summer climate, but I began to feel very hot.

"Dora" growled Remus suddenly, shaking me from my thoughts. His eyes were still closed as he said "stop watching me sleep".

"Technically your not asleep, cause your talking". He growled, making me shiver. "Do you realise how sexy you look right now?" I blurted out.

He huffed in amusement. "I don't feel it, but thank you all the same".

"I can change that" I said, suddenly feeling wide awake as I crept over to the bed, and put my hands on either side of him for support. He opened his eyes and smiled, bringing his head up as I leaned down to kiss him. The kiss was sweet at first, but became increasingly passionate as his lips dominated mine. Soon the kiss became so intense that we pulled apart panting, my shirt buttons were undone and his hand was sliding over my abdomen.

"Well, I could get used to that sort of wake up call" he said, his voice husky.

"Mmmm" I said, paying more attention to his body than his words. He started to laugh.

"Dora, haven't you got work?" he asked.

"Rather stay home with you" I whispered, entwining our fingers and kissing them. "Maybe I will" I whispered, huskily, moving my lips to his neck and trailing kisses along it, moving my hands down his chest.

"Dora" he half protesting, half laughing. As I began to suck on the pulse point on his neck, his eyes glazed over and his breath hitched. "Oh Dora..."

* * *

"You look awfully chipper, on this genuinely awful morning" quipped Savage, leaning against my office door as I walked in the Auror department an hour late.

"That makes absolutely no sense" I muttered, walking into my cubicle.

"On the contrary, it makes perfect sense" he said, yawning widely as I sat down at my desk. "Man, I'm tired".

"Hows Jacob?" I asked.

"He's a fussy sod, who's been signed off for three days by the Mediwitch and complains that he won't get his paperwork done" he grumbled, rolling his eyes. "I was up with him all night".

"I bet" I quipped.

"Not like that, you little witch" he said, playfully. "They haven't caught anyone yet, and nothings been reported in the prophet. Half the departments fuming, the other half...".

"Are silently plotting revenge?" I asked, jokingly, but I felt suddenly queasy, remembering yesterdays events. Mark read my face perfectly.

"Don't worry about it Tonks, everything will work itself out. It's the way of the world. All we can do is ride out the bad times" he said solemnly, before hitting my shoulder with a file. "Come on, your with me today, and we have investigations and... stuff... to do".

"Stuff?".

"Yeah, come on" he said, pulling me from my seat. Not a happy Auror right now. I knew exactly what stuff was, as trying to sugar coat or ignore it would not help. Paperwork was tedious and downright pointless in my opinion. We had so much to fill out that we could never get out on the streets and help people.

"Fun".

* * *

When I walked into the flat that evening, I closed the door quietly so that I didn't startle Remus. I turned from the door, slipping my cloak of as I did, and saw an image that made my heart melt. Remus was spread out on the sofa, his eyes closed and his breathing soft. He was sleeping lightly, fidgeting every once in a while as if his dreams were troubling him. The arm closest to the edge of the couch was stretched out, and just below it on the floor sat an open book.

I walked over to where he was and picked up the book, shutting it and placing it gently on the coffee table. I then settled myself on the floor beside him, and reached up my hand, stroking his face lightly, moving the hair from his face. He stirred and caught my hand in his.

"Hello" he muttered, his eyes still closed, his face as peaceful as before except now he was smiling.

"Hey sleepy" I whispered. He opened his eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..." he muttered. His hand was still holding mine, and he began to playing with my fingers, before bringing my hand to his lips and kissing the tips of my fingers. I giggled.

"You can go back to sleep if you like".

"No, that's ok" he said, hoisting himself up and moving back. He patted the space beside him and I took that to mean he wanted me there. As I settled next to him, he put an arm around my shoulders. "So, hows things at the Ministry?".

"Weird. The atmosphere's so tense. I hate it" I said, turning my head towards him. I smiled as he put his forehead to mine.

"I would like to say 'don't worry' and 'you'll be fine...'" he said, sighing. "But at the time being, I guess neither of those will do".

"Doesn't matter" I whispered. "Coming home and seeing you like I just did, makes it worth while". He blushed. "Remus Lupin, are you blushing?"

"No" he said, looking down. "Course not". I brought his head back up and leaned forward, kissing him on the lips. As I ran my tongue along his bottom lip, his arms encircled my waist. I moved myself so that I was straddling him, still kissing him. His hands moved to my hips and pulled me closer. We broke apart when the need for oxygen became more desperate than our need for each other.

"So, you still tired" I whispered, my voice slightly husky as I regained my breath.

"Not in the slightest" he answered, grinning. One of his hands moved down my back and grabbed my butt. "Why, got something in mind?"

"Well, I didn't do much today, and I have a lot of pent up energy..." I whispered, casually. I nearly squealed when he pulled me flush against his chest.

"Well, we can't have that, now, can we?" he smirked. I smirked back but gasped as his hand moved again. My lips crashed down onto his without a second thought.

A little while later we were laying on the sofa together. I lay contented, head on Remus's chest, playing with his fingers as he huffed in amusement. Every time he did, I would try and make him hit himself with the hand I was holding. It never worked, but I was a Tonks and a Black, so I wasn't about to give up.

He laughed again. "Nymphadora, what are you doing?".

"You have beautiful hands" was my only reply. As he chuckled I felt the rumble in his chest that made me melt. He was so warm and sexy, comforting and amazing. I felt beyond contented as I lay in his arms, praying that days like these would never end. That way, I could be with him forever. My thoughts began to resemble those of a love struck teenager, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Not when I had Remus.

"Thank you, you have beautiful hands too" he whispered, lacing his fingers slowly through mine. "Soft, warm" he whispered. "I love you".

"I love you too".

"I love you, so much" he whispered. I lifted my head from his chest and looked him in the eye, wiping away a stray strand of hair from his face.

"Are you getting soppy on me?" I asked, softly.

"I mean it Nymphadora, I love you. I don't know what I'd do without you but I know that I would be nothing. You mean the world to me" he said softly, sincerely. My heart did more than melt at his words. His eyes were so full of emotion that it brought to the brink of tears. The intensity overwhelmed me, no-one had ever made me feel like he did. And no-one ever would. Ever.

"Remus..." I whispered. I didn't know how to reply. I felt the same, totally and completely, but I didn't know if my words would express my feelings properly or make me look like an idiot. My words tend to do the latter. Luckily, Remus saved me from replying by sitting up and gently pushing me off his lap. I knelt on the sofa, looking at him fearfully wondering whether I'd offended him. "Remus".

"Wait here for a second, I have to get something" he said, kissing my cheek tenderly before getting up and walking to the hall. He disappeared but I could hear his footsteps moving down the hall and into our bedroom. He was back within a minute of leaving.

When he entered the room, his hands were clasped together like they were holding something between them and they were shaking slightly. He came and stood in front of me, looking me straight in the eye when he spoke.

"I've been wanting to do this for awhile, and after yesterday, it made me realise that I didn't want to wait any longer. I love you Nymphadora, and I want to be with you. You mean everything to me" he said huskily, his eyes gleaming as he smiled softly at me. In one fluid motion, he dropped down onto one knee beside the sofa and I gasped. My head was screaming happily in several languages that even I didn't understand. I could feel the muscles in my face forming into a smile.

"Nymphadora Tonks, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" he asked, tentively, opening his hands to reveal an open blue box. In the box sat the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen. I grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Yes. YES! Of course I will" I said, happily, diving forward and wrapping my arms around his neck to hug him. And of course, as it was me, I nearly toppled us over, but he put his hand on the coffee table to stop us. "Oh, sorry" I mumbled, embarrassed.

"It's fine" he chuckled, holding out the right. I held out my hand and he slid the ring on gently. I sat admiring the beautiful ring, it was a simple white gold band with a sparkling heart shaped white diamond. It was beautiful. He began talking. "It's not new I'm afraid, I'm sorry. I wanted it to be special, it's my mother's you see. It's fairly simple, I just wish..." I cut him off with a kiss.

"It's perfect. Your prefect. I love you" I said, kissing him again. He responded eagerly, gripping my hips and pulling me onto his lap. As we moved deeper into the kiss, my mind began stringing things together at lightning speed, and suddenly everything added up. When I finally pulled away to tell Remus, I realised that I had pushed him to the floor and was sitting with my legs either side of his waist.

"I just - realised - something" I panted, heavily.

"Yes" said Remus, prompting me to go on. His voice was more controlled than mine, and I didn't know whether to feel offence or envy him for it.

"You been sneaking around, going to my parents, talking with Molly..." I reeled off. He chuckled lightly, leaning up on his elbows and brushing a piece of hair from my face.

"Yes".

"How long have you been planning this?" I asked, rolling off of him onto the floor beside him.

"Since Dumbledore's funeral" he said, softly. "Maybe longer, I knew that I wanted to marry you, I just wasn't sure that..."

"I would want to marry you?" I asked.

"Um hmm" he said, wrapping his arms around my waist as I buried my head in his neck. "But you let something slip that day, and I thought I'd take a chance".

"I remember that, I told Ginny about it" I said, sighing.

"What did she say?" asked Remus.

"She wants me to marry you" I laughed, "maybe it's just because she wants to go to a wedding other than Fleur and Bill's" I shrugged.

"I'm sure that's not it" answered Remus. "Sure you want to marry me?".

"Did you not hear me earlier?" I asked, laughing and leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"I did, but I think I was to happy and shocked to take it in" he smiled.

"Yes Remus Lupin, I will marry you".

* * *

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Ginny squealed, holding my left hand towards her so she could see the ring. "It's beautiful Tonks".

"I know" I beamed. We were sitting in her bedroom, at the window seat that overlooked the front garden. I had ran straight up the stairs as soon as we'd arrived a few minutes ago, ignoring everybody else until I found Ginny. Turns out Molly told Remus to come over as soon as he asked me. It wasn't as soon as though, we did spend some time celebrating on our own first. I looked at the darkening sky outside and sighed in contentment.

"Can I come to the wedding?" she asked, suddenly.

"Of course you can. Can't have a wedding without my little sister being there can I?" I asked, and she giggled happily. Just then we heard Molly holler up the stairs for us to come down and eat. My mouth was already watering at the thought of Molly's delicious cooking.

"Come on, we better go. Mum and Fleur will be fussing over you throughout the entire meal" said Ginny, rolling her eyes.

"I don't mind" I said. I actually didn't.

"Come on then" she said, leading the way out of her room and down the stairs. "When are you thinking of getting married Tonks?".

"Not sure, soon though. I don't want to wait to long, and the Ministry won't let me wait to long either" I muttered, darkly.

"What was that?" asked Ginny, obviously confused by my mumbling.

"Nothing Gin, just saying that I'll be married as soon as I possibly can" I replied, beaming at her. We came to the ground floor and walked to the kitchen, where Kingsley, Arthur, Bill, Fleur and Molly were chatting, setting the table and dishing up plates of food. Remus was standing with Bill by the window and both were talking quietly. Remus looked around as I walked in, and grinned widely to me. I grinned back.

"Evening all" I greeted.

As predicted, Molly and Fleur gushed over our engagement for the entire night, shooting questions at me about all sorts of things and then making suggestions about to do things. Fleur offer to take me shopping, which I nearly baulked at, but Ginny hastily stepped in saying she would come too so I didn't mind. In fact, the whole night was perfect and for once, I was really loving the attention. Because it was something that made me very happy.

At the back of my mind I had niggling worries about my parents and the Ministry, but whilst I held Remus's hand under the table throughout dinner, and made love to him later that night, I couldn't bring myself to care. It was just me and him. And though I was always the first to doubt perfection, there was no doubt in my mind that we were perfect for each other.

And that's just the way we would stay...

**Ok, this was really short but I wanted the main focuz point to be the day that Remus proposed. Yes, it was simple but I never had Remus down as one of those extravagant proposal people. The next chapter will be longer but am not sure when it'll be, as I have tests and coursework to focus on... blame college, not me. As always, review, please?**


	58. Complications and Preparations

_Me: No, you don't annoy me. :)_

_Susanna: Thanks, I'm glad you love it. I love it too._

_BlacKKiarA: Don't worry, I totally get what you meant and I didn't take it badly I promise. And yeah, I hate being grown up, sometimes I want to just be an immature teen again, but unfortunately I can't... Anyway, here's the next chapter!_

**It's my B-day. I'm now officially 17! Stay off the roads people… and the pavements for that matter ;) Right well, I know I've been gone for a while but I have a valid and upsetting reason… my laptop went boom. Yep, everything gone, whole thing shut down. I had to re-write this chapter and I still don't think I've quite got it, but it'll have to do.**

**Dedicated to those who have stuck with me for such a long time, and those who have joined the 'Eyes of Nymphadora' band wagon. Old and New, I love you all! Xx**

Complications and Preparations

The next time I went into work the sun was scorching, and as I walked towards the Ministry entrance I thanked Merlin that I had worn my denim shorts and white kami top under my thin Auror robes. I passed Ministry employees also arriving for the day that were fanning themselves and pulling at the collars, trying to get some relief from the heat. I felt slightly smug as I walked passed them and through the Auditorium towards the lifts. As I pressed the button in the lift with my left hand, I looked at my ring happily and smiled gleefully to everyone who got on and off the lift between the auditorium and my floor.

As I jumped out of the lift on my floor, I skipped without tripping towards my cubicle, thinking that nothing could darken my mood any more. I had been engaged for nearly a week and everything was going great. I'd had some time off of work (well, working from home, but it's basically the same thing) and now I really wanted to see Savage to gloat. But first, as I arrived at my cubicle, I saw a stack of case reports stacked on my desk, with a pink post-it slapped on top. I went over and shut the door behind me, looking at the post-it as I sat down.

_Hope you enjoyed your 'homework'. Umbridge wants these filed by the end of the day. Enjoy, Proudfoot._

I rolled my eyes and pulled open a draw which held a mini fan. I hadn't used it since last year, but as I set it on the desk and got it going, I relaxed as the cool air floated around me. Picking up a quill, I pulled the first file towards me. Not even tedious paperwork would dampen my spirits. I wouldn't let it.

Although I had previously stated that I would not let paperwork get me down, after three hours of tedious detailing and re-writing my mind had turned to mush and I was longing for something to take me away from it all. I looked over at my clock and realised that it was in fact half past twelve, and my stomach growled suddenly, as if realising the time had awakened it. I smiled to myself and stood up, stretching out my stiff joints while pondering what I should do for lunch. There was a small cafe around the corner that I frequently visited during my first years of Auror training, perhaps I would go there.

Leaving my cubicle, I made my way down the corridor towards the lift, when I heard a soft bang from the left of me and a voice float out from a slightly bigger cubicle than my own.

"Well, hello there Miss Tonks. And where have you been hiding?" drawled Savage, sitting in his swivel chair, looking quite relaxed with his feet propped up on the desk in front of him.

"I've been working, which is more than I could say for you" I smirked, and he smirked back.

"Where you off too?" he asked. "And can I come with you?"

"I'm going to get lunch. And yes you can come with me, as long as you're not too busy".

"When am I ever busy? I'm a natural born slacker" he said, swinging him legs down and jumping up from his chair. "Jacob's disappeared again. I miss Hogsmead, so much more fun".

"Really? I wouldn't call it fun. I'd call it a lot of other things, but not fun..." I said, walking again towards the lifts, this time with Savage in tow. As we reached the lift, I leaned forward to press the button and Savage gasped.

"O-M-G what is that on your finger?" he exclaimed. I looked around to make sure no-one was ease dropping. It wasn't that I was ashamed, but in this place, you couldn't broadcast what I was about to say.

"It's an engagement ring. Remus proposed" I whispered and the lift door clanged open. As we were the only ones in there, Savage continued to ask questions as the lift doors clanged shut again.

"When? Where? How? When's the wedding? Oh Merlin, look at that ring, it's gorgeous" said Savage, excitedly. I couldn't help but laugh as he held up my hand, pouting at the ring. "I want one".

"Ask Jacob for one then" I answered, casually, but on the inside I was screaming happily.

"He'd never get me one. Doesn't even want to admit we're together" he muttered, bitterly.

"Well, it's a bit dangerous, there's lots of prejudice about. Not many people know you're gay; you hide it so well..."

"I have too".

"Exactly. So for him it's harder, it hasn't been long. It's probably a big adjustment. And do you really want the Ministry knowing all your business? Cause I sure as hell don't want them knowing mine" I said, sighing. There was a rumor going about of more Anti-Werewolf legislation but I hadn't told Remus yet. I hated to see his handsome face clouded with sadness.

"Don't worry, things will change" said Savage, softly.

"Not soon enough" I muttered, as we reached our floor and stepped out. we made our way towards the exit in silence, until Savage obviously felt pained by it and started up a new conversation.

"Where are we eating?" he asked.

"A little cafe around the corner, I used to go there during training" I said.

"I remember that place; I used to go there too. Back when I was training and it first opened" he said.

"Wow, your old" I commented. He nudged me and I giggled as we stepped out onto the path.

"What your mouth missy, I'm not that old. Although, I'm twenty seven in December" he said, wistfully. "Time flies".

"You look much younger" I said, quickly.

"It's a gift" he replied, shrugging. We were at the cafe, named _Claire's Cafe _after the bubbly woman who owned the place. The last time I saw her she was quiet small, plump and had long frizzy blonde hair down to her waist. I stepped into the retro themed cafe with the same peeling wall paper, same humming refrigerator and varied customers. It felt like I had literally gone back in time.

As I went up to the counter and placed our orders with the pretty young waitress I leaned against the counter and looked back out the window. The Muggle cars were zooming past, beeping at each other and producing smoke. Muggles were walking along the streets, some in suits, and some in summer clothes. It was just a day like any other.

"Psst" whispered Savage, nudging me in the ribs. "Look who it is" he hissed, pointing at a table at the back of the cafe, away from public eyes. Unless you were Savage of course, who saw everything and could not be hidden from. I gaped as I saw Dawlish, uptight, annoying, obnoxious Dawlish, sitting across a table from... a woman.

"Is he on a date?" I asked.

"Don't think so" he replied. "There holding hands under the table see, but the expressions on their faces are too grave" he replied.

"Yeah, I see. Their body language is all wrong. And her eyes are puffy and red, she's been crying. I wonder why though?" I asked, rhetorically. Just then mine and Savage's sandwiches came, and we quickly took them, before hurrying towards the door. Big mistake. Everyone knows that when I hurry, I slow things down. I slipped on the shiny floor and fell flat on my face. A couple of old women asked me if I was ok while some lads at the back cheered. Savage pulled me to my feet and tried to drag me out of there but the damage had been done. Dawlish's eyes were on us, and for one moment, as they connected with mine, I saw panic.

Savage grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door, and before I could register what we were doing, I found that we were sprinting back to the Ministry. I didn't quite understand why we were running away, but somewhere in the back of my mind a voice was yelling that one: Dawlish didn't like me, and two: he'd obviously been up to something that he didn't want anyone to find out about. It was best to run away and then later, I would act oblivious. I cursed my feet as we reached the entrance to the Ministry, still clutching our sandwiches. These feet would be the death of me one day, I thought, fighting hard not to roll my eyes. My head was pounding and it would take up to much energy.

As we ran towards the lifts like idiots, I began to laugh at what we must look like to everyone around us. We calmed down as we got in the lift.

"Well, that was fun" I commented, and we both looked at each other before bursting out in wheezy laughter.

"Well, at least we know all that sitting behind desks hasn't made us unfit to be Aurors" said Savage, brightly as we reached our floor. "Let's go eat these in my cubicle, it's bigger than yours".

"Don't rub it in" I mumbled and he laughed again. "I wonder..."

"Don't. Dawlish is a big boy; he can take care of himself. Just pretend this afternoon didn't happen and we'll be fine" said Savage, before warning, "I mean it Tonks. Don't cross him. What he was doing there was his own private business, and no matter how curious you may be, do not confront him about it".

"I won't" I muttered, disappointedly.

"Good. You wouldn't like it if he was poking around in your business now, would you?" he asked, as we sat down on the chairs inside his cubicle.

"I guess not" I said, "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead" he replied, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"Me and Remus. Most people would react strangely to the fact that I'm marrying a werewolf-"

"You're wondering why I am not disgusted or reporting you" he said, quickly. "You will not be reported by me. I will keep it quiet, and I know that you are sensible enough to do the same. As for disgusted, there is a lot of prejudice against people like me. What gives me the right to judge others?"

"Thank you" I whispered. He shrugged and then smiled. "Have you noticed how quiet our floor has been lately?"

"Yes, I have" he said, "Particularly today. Everyone's out and we're stuck doing paperwork" he commented. We'd finished our sandwiches and he screwed up his paper before aiming for the trashcan. It missed spectacularly, and I giggled as he got up.

"Take the walk of shame" I teased. He flipped me the V sign and put his rubbish in the bin before standing straight and looking behind me out of the door. I turned my head around but there was no-one there.

"Take your ring off" he hissed, and I quickly slid my engagement ring off and put it in my pocket.

"Why?" I asked.

"There are some inside the Ministry who cannot be trusted. Who else have you told inside the Ministry?" he asked, urgently.

"No-one, just you" I said. Kingsley and Arthur knew of course, but they could be trusted.

"Good. Keep it that way. I am happy for you Tonks, I class you among my friends and I do not go against my friends" he said. "Don't tell Proudfoot unless necessary. I love him and trust him, and he would never deliberately drop you in it..."

"I understand" I said, though I didn't. I didn't question him. Just as Savage was about to say something else, a memo landed on his desk. He picked it up and smiled grimly.

"Speak of the devil, Proudfoot's back from whatever he's been doing" he said. "I'm going to go see him. Want to come with?"

I nodded and followed him as he strode purposefully down the hall towards Proudfoot's office. I love Proudfoot's office; it was cozy and big at the same time. He was the envy of many on this floor. I guess being well respected has its perks. As Savage knocked on the door and entered, I followed him into the brightly lit room. The massive window on one wall was shining sunlight into the room, making it bright and airy. Proudfoot on the other hand was pacing the floor, looking grim and angry. I shut the door behind me as I watched Savage approach him.

Savage went over and put a hand on Proudfoot's shoulder to stop him pacing. They looked at each other for what seemed like a very long time; before Proudfoot put his head on Savage's shoulder and Savage put his arms around him. I felt awkward and shuffled my feet while looking at the floor, not wanting to intrude on their 'moment'.

"Hello Tonks" said a grim sounding Proudfoot as I looked up. Savage still had his arms around him but they were loose and Proudfoot looked much calmer than when I first walked in.

"Hey Jacob, how are you?" He grimaced and Savage nudged him.

"I have some grave news that the Ministry will not be revealing to the public. What I tell you two doesn't leave this room, understand?" he asked, seriously, pulling away from Savage. We both looked at Proudfoot enquiringly as he sighed and went to sit behind his desk. Savage stood right next to him leaning on the desk and I came closer. His eyes shifted.

"There's been a mass breakout from Azkaban. And one of those who has escaped..."

"No".

"Tonks!" said Proudfoot.

"No. No, no no that's not fair" I said, hysterically.

"What?" asked Savage, confused.

"Lucius Malfoy" I gulped. "He's out isn't he?" Proudfoot nodded. "How could the Ministry want to hush this up? He's dangerous, we all know he is".

"He's in Voldemort's little circle" nodded Savage in agreement. My mouth opened in shock at the use of his name. Proudfoot was staring at Savage like a man who was seeing sunlight after months in the dark. "What? I can say the name" Savage said, stubbornly. We all stood slightly stunned for a minute before shaking ourselves out of it.

"Well, what's gonna..." but before I could finish my sentence, the door burst open. Yaxley, a narcissistic evil brute who just happened to be a Deatheater (but the Ministry ignored this fact) was standing in the door looking too big for his boots, wearing a smug smile.

"Afternoon ladies" he said looking at Proudfoot and Savage who had hastily moved away from each other. "Freak" he greeted me, and I smiled brightly. He grunted in annoyance.

"Have a little more respect for your superiors, Yaxley" growled Proudfoot, dangerously. "Now what do you want?"

"My superior are you, Proudfoot?" he looked him up and down, before pointedly looking at Savage, who looked as if he was about to step forward in retaliation.

"Yaxley, what do you want?" I demanded, holding my hand out to Savage who glared at me stayed put.

"See who wears the trousers in this department" he commented. "Anyway, been told to hand out some new legislation. Oh, and new rules for you little Auror people" he said with contempt, but I couldn't retaliate. My throat had closed up in shock. Legislation... I knew it was coming, but I didn't think it would be this quick. And I knew exactly what it would include. Everything in the world disappeared as pieces of parchment fell into my hands. I could vaguely hear Savage and Proudfoot arguing with Yaxley, and tried to focus back into the conversation and ignore the huge weight that had been placed into my hands.

"Yaxley, you've said what you needed to. Now, leave my office" commanded Proudfoot.

"Fine, I'm gone" shrugged Yaxley, before looking at me. "Happy reading". He left quickly.

I looked down at the new legislation and a lump came to my throat as I caught sight of one clause in particular.

_Clause 6: Wizards and Witches are not permitted to marry any Part Human in any Ministry registered chapel. This includes..._

It reeled off a list of 'creatures', one of which was _werewolf. _I felt sick to my stomach as I read more clauses full of anti-werewolf laws, cleverly disguised but clearly there. I was suddenly fuming, the Ministry was pushing me too far over the edge at the moment, and this was the last straw.

"Don't Tonks, I know what you're thinking, and it's not worth it" said Savage, calmly.

"Not worth it" I said, grinding my teeth together. "Sure about that?"

"Don't go losing your job over this. Remus wouldn't like you to lose your job over him, would he?" said Savage, rationally. I didn't want to listen. "Would he?"

"Fine. I'll do nothing, say nothing" I said, angrily.

"That's all we can do" muttered Proudfoot. "These laws are... disgusting, but they are still the law. We need to abide by them". I realised what Savage meant about Proudfoot, he may not like it, but he goes along with Ministry and its laws. I felt angry, and so I left the room, slamming the door behind me and heading to my cubicle.

I was furious as I sat down at my desk, reading and re-reading the legislation over and over again. The clauses were all clever, but extremely Anti-werewolf. It made my blood boil in one sense, because Remus was being persecuted, but in another... I sighed. There were lots of werewolves out there who worked for Greyback. Remus had told me about the majority of them who sided with Greyback and Voldemort of their own free will. I sighed and pulled my engagement ring out of my pocket. There had to be a way around this. I didn't care about breaking the law to be with Remus, but I knew Remus did, and willingly breaking the law wasn't something I particularly wanted to do.

I sighed again. I had a lot of thinking to do.

* * *

I apparated outside the Burrow later that evening. I loved summer evening, the air was sweet and the sky was beautiful. I heard a pop beside me and turned to see Kingsley, who looked tired but in a good mood.

"Summer is my favourite time of year" he commented, in his deep voice.

I smiled. "It's rather wonderful". I pulled my engagement ring out of my pocket, where I'd stowed it as I walked through the Ministry, and slipped it on my left hand.

"I heard you had a brush with Yaxley today?" Kingsley commented as we walked towards the fence outside the Burrow and climbed over. I jumped down and waited for Kingsley to do the same.

"Not really a brush; I just saw him today. And got some rather bad news" I sighed. "Lots of bad news".

"I know, I heard" Kingsley said, darkly. "I can't understand why Yaxley is still at the Ministry. The Minister is blind".

"The Minister has locked himself up in his office, I haven't seen him around at all. And Yaxley does my head in. He's such a jerky, idiotic, sadistic, sexist twat". Kingsley laughed. "He is! He needs shooting".

"I don't think that's quite possible" said Kingsley, still laughing as he moved to push the Burrow's door open.

"Well, can we at least tie him up and shove him in a closet?" I asked. He laughed deeply as we stepped inside the Burrow.

"I can't, I'm not there" he said. "Hello Molly, Bill, Arthur..."

"Everyone" I jumped in.

"Who's going in a closet, and why?" asked Bill, confusedly looking up from a game of wizard's chess he was playing with Ron.

"Yaxley" Kingsley and I said at the same time.

"What did he do?" sighed Arthur, looking grumpy. I wondered whether it was the mention of Yaxley, or something else.

"He was an arrogant, smug, smarmy pig" I answered, before walking calmly over to Molly.

"More than usual?" commented Bill lightly, as his pawn was smashed to bits.

"Yep" I nodded. "Hey, Molly can I have some tea please?"

"Of course you can dear" she said, putting the kettle on the stove. Ron looked up from the board and looked at Kingsley, and then his dad.

"Who's Yaxley?"

"Deatheater" replied Bill before Kingsley could answer. Ron's mouth opened in apparent shock.

"And he's working at the Ministry?" asked Ron. I nodded, taking my tea from Molly. "Why isn't he in Azkaban?"

"Don't be thick Ron" said George, entering the room. "There are Deatheaters everywhere; the Ministry just doesn't know when they're right under their noses. Fortunately, we do".

"More Deatheaters walking now" I mumbled angrily. I meant it to be quiet, but everyone turned to me with raised eyebrows and resigned faces. I looked at Kingsley, who obviously knew, and Arthur who hadn't been in today and so wouldn't have known. In fact, he probably wouldn't have known anyway, the Ministry is hushing up everything. If it wasn't for Proudfoot finding out (by some miracle) then even I wouldn't know. "You explain Kingsley, it makes me sick to even think about the shit the Ministry is doing at the moment" I spat, angrily, drawing a gasp from Molly.

"Very well, even though this isn't a meeting... there has been another mass breakout from Azkaban".

"And guess who got out this time?" I asked, sarcastically.

"Who?" asked Ron, earning a slap over the head from Bill. Arthur's face darkened.

"Lucius" he muttered, darkly.

"Exactly. My beloved uncle. Oh joy" I said, taking a swig of tea before sitting myself on the side, and slamming the cup down. I was so frustrated, and angry, and totally pissed off and...

"Where the fuck is Remus?" I almost screamed. Almost. Molly came over an laid a comforting hand on my leg, as I hastily wiped away angry tears that I refused to let fall.

"I'm here" said a quiet voice. I looked towards the door, not realising it had been opened, and saw Remus standing against it. He looked at me with worry in his eyes, his body language was hesitant. I looked away, moving my hand shakily across my face.

"Right you lot, out of the kitchen" said Molly, ushering to her family and Kingsley. "Out. Come on. Chop chop".

"But what about our chess match" whined Ron, earning yet another slap around the ahead, accompanied by a glare from Molly that had him running from the room. The others followed quickly. Remus stayed where he was. When they had left, Molly shut the door behind them and the kitchen was silent.

"I was at home, doing some reading, if you really want to know" he said, calmly, which made my blood boil.

"Fine. Go read then" I snapped. He came forward so he was leaning against the side facing me, my knees either side of his hips. I let my hair fall in front of my face, but he pushed it back and tilted my chin to look at him. In his eyes I saw everything that had happened today. The Deatheaters, laws, our future. I began to cry. He pulled me close, so I was wrapped around him.

"Shhhh Dora, tell me what's wrong" he said, softly, stroking my hair. "I don't like seeing you like this". And so, I blurted everything out to him, the Ministry, seeing Dawlish at lunch, not knowing who to trust, the breakout and Yaxley.

"He gave me new legislation. It's so, so horrible towards you" I cried. "It's not fair".

"I know, I know" he whispered, "What exactly did it say, baby?" he asked, pulling away.

I pulled out the piece of parchment and he read through it. I made sure he paid notice to clause six, and I re-read it with him, the cogs in my brain working as i rubbed my eyes.

"We can't get married" he whispered, sounding so sad. it broke my heart.

"We can" I said, only just realising. he was about to interrupt but I stopped him. "We can though. It says no Ministry registered chapel, meaning all the magical priests and stuff but... what if we didn't get married magically".

"You mean..."

"Muggle marriage. It's still marriage, it's exactly the same" I whispered. "Of course, we have to keep this really small, and quiet. I know it's horrible but, I really want to marry you".

"I really want to marry you too. I love you" he sighed.

"I'm sorry, baby. I know you wanted Harry there" I said, pulling his dejected face towards me.

"It's fine. Small and quiet is perfect" he said, decisively.

"Are you sure? I mean, I think this way would be easier, less chance of getting caught. Because if anyone at the ministry found out, no matter where we got married, they'd work out a way to get us for it".

"Your right Dora and I don't care. As long as your happy, so am I. I just want to marry you" he whispered.

"Thank you" I said, pulling forward into a sweet kiss that soon turned heated due to the positions of our bodies. When we pulled apart, we were both panting heavily. "You understand don't you? Your not mad at me?"

"I could never be mad at you" he laughed, weakly. I peered at him carefully, and trailed my fingers along the harsher lines on his face.

"Full moon tomorrow" I whispered. "Are you tired? You look really peaky".

"I am, but I'm fine" he smiled, weakly.

"Hmmm, how about we go home, curl up on the sofa and I'll cook us something to eat?" I suggested. He smirked.

"You? Cook?" I slapped him playfully on the chest, but he wound his arms around my waist. "I am tired. It'll be nice to curl up with you tonight" he said. You could tell when Remus was tired, he got more sentimental.

"Come on then, let me just apologize to Molly and then we'll go" I said, as he moved out of the way and held me hop down from the counter. "I love you, you know".

"I know".

* * *

Full moon passed in the same manner as the last one, except for the fact that I pulled a sickie the day after so that I could take care of him. This month's transformation seemed to hit him harder than last months. I gave him extra doses of potion and watched him sleep. When he eventually woke up, he pulled me down beside him and tried to scold me for taking a day off, but I cut off his rant quickly. Work could wait, he was more important to me right now.

* * *

"Please don't make me go" I pouted, stropily at Remus who was still looking very weak but lounging on the sofa in front of me, while I re-read the letter from Fleur. "I hate shopping".

"It's your 'official' day off today, there's no better time to go shopping. You've been mumbling about a dress, right?" he said. Clever sod, how would he like to go shopping with the fashion queen? Don't get me wrong, Fleur was great, but when it came to shopping which scared me enough on its own, I was terrified.

"You an arsehole" I said, snottily.

"I try".

"Don't make me go" I pleaded.

"No-one's making you go" said Remus, "but you should because it might be your only chance".

"I'd rather stay at home with you" I sighed. He stood up and put his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him so I could lay my head on his chest.

"How about you go shopping, and if it's really that bad, you can leave early and we'll do something together for the rest of the afternoon" he suggested.

"So I don't have to spend all day shopping?" I asked, meekly. He laughed heartily.

"You didn't have to in the first place" he said, before pushing me towards the door. "Now, Fleur will be here any minute".

"I love you".

"I love you too".

Shopping with Fleur was easier than I had first anticipated, and I began to feel guilty that I had freaked out at the thought of it. Also, the fact that Ginny had been allowed to come along too did make me happier and more relaxed. We were currently walking down a street in Muggle London, which was a mixture of old stone buildings and roads, and brand new shops with flashy displays.

Fleur was busily pointing out shops that were good and bad, and comparing them to the ones back in France. I walked alongside Ginny, looking at displays and sighing in longing. I loved clothes, and shoes (it was my secret obsession), but I hated shopping for them. It was so hard to find something you really wanted, and it usually took way to long.

After an hour however, me and Fleur had brought half a store between us and were carrying it around in bags, while Ginny was looking for a 'particular' shop. Whatever shop it was, she hadn't found it yet. Fleur suddenly stopped, squealed and pointed happily at a shop that made Ginny giggle nervously.

"Zat is where we 'ave to go next" Fleur said, excitedly, hurrying towards the shop called 'Ann Summers'.

"You have got to be kidding me" I groaned, as Ginny pushed me forward, still giggling her butt off.

"No no, come on now Tonkzie. You need something special for your wedding night" trilled Fleur happily, moving towards the store window.

"Oh Merlin, someone kill me. Seriously, why are there no Deatheaters around when you need them" I grumbled, looking at the sign in the window. "Ginny can't come in, she's not eighteen".

"Nonsense, she is with us" said Fleur, before stumbling. "Just, do not tell Molly, she will not be 'appy with me". And with that, I was dragged into hell.

I lasted fifthteen minutes before finally resigning myself to my fate. Fleur was busy asking questions about sizes and such like other very personal things that did not need to be shouted across a large lingerie store, and yet they were. As she started picking out bits and pieces, I wandered away to the other side of the store as Ginny made a hasty exit and took to leaning on the outside of the window. I watched in amusement as Fleur tried to drag her back in, with no avail.

I looked at some of the underwear, a purple bra and matching panties with a black lace trim, and deemed them very pretty before looking back at Fleur. She seemed more interested in things for herself, so I pulled them from the shelf and browsed some of the more revealing items. My mind kept flickering back to Remus. I felt myself blush as my imagination ran away into rather compromising scenarios. Bad Tonks, do not think about such things here. Do not. Instead, to distract my brain, I brought things. Lots of things.

However, instead of taking my mind out of the gutter, it only caused more interesting scenes to be played out in my head. Needless to say, I was happy to get out of there with several new bags that I shoved inside my old ones. Part of me was screaming to go home right now, and act on a particular scenario that was running through my head. The other part was telling me to stay right where I was. I felt so confused, and groaned out loud.

"You okay?" asked Ginny, nervously.

"Let's never talk of this ever again" I muttered.

"I agree" said Ginny.

"It'll our leetle secret" said Fleur, coughing lightly. "Come on now, more shopping to do".

Trailing the streets of London was fun, looking through windows and laughing at Ginny's insane jokes, which Fleur did not get at all. Her face was even funnier because of this fact. After a while, I decided to just bite the bullet, and say what had been on my mind since this morning.

"I need a wedding dress" I slipped out casually. Ginny stopped laughing at Fleur's facial expression and turned to me in confusion, and Fleur turned to beam at me.

"But of course, we must find you one" her face lit up, "and I know just zee place. Hold my 'ands, we'll apparate".

"Where are we going?" Ginny asked, following Fleur towards a shadowed part of the street. She grabbed my hand instead, as I grabbed Fleur's.

"You shall see" she winked, before she twisted and apparated. After several uncomfortable seconds, we landed in the middle of a small village. It had old rustic houses and tiny streets of even tinier shops. Its buildings were made from old bricks and looked quite charming, like something you'd expect to see in a picture book. I imagined for a moment that in the winter this place would look like a scene from a Christmas card. Then Ginny snapped me from my thoughts.

"I feel sick" she mumbled, doubled over next to Fleur, but looking up at me. Her head was twisted in an awkward angle. I quickly put my arms around her waist and pulled her gently upright.

"Come on Ginny, walk it off" I said, encouragingly. "Just breathe; it's your first time, isn't it?"

"Yeah" she said, weakly.

"Ginny, I am so sorry" gasped Fleur.

"Don't worry the first times always the worst. At least you've got a head start" I said, "Fleur where are we?" I asked.

"I do not remember ze name" she said, biting her lip, "I've 'ave never been any good at remembering ze names. But I do know ze way".

She led us through the street, happily chatting away about the scenery and what it was like for her back home, as Ginny regained more colour in her cheeks and was breathing easier than before. I gave her arm a brief squeeze as Fleur stopped outside a very old looking shop, with several dresses displayed in the front window.

Entering the shop, I smelt the sweet smell of lavender and the summer breeze drifting through the open window. Rails full of dresses were lining the walls, all of different shapes, sizes, colours and patterns. As I moved further into the shop, I maneuvered around a large rack of dresses in the middle of the room and towards the back. There were fewer dresses back here, but they were more carefully arranged and put together, and it was easier to browse them.

"Fleur how do you know this place?" I asked, curiously, fingering one of the dresses gently. It was a floor length creamy white dress with a big bow on the back.

"I went exploring" she said, "and I didn't apparate properly, landed 'ere. In zis village. And I liked ze look of ze shop".

"Hmmm" said Ginny, "see anything you like, Tonks?" she asked.

"Not yet".

As I moved further towards the back, I noticed two small changing rooms in the corner, covered by curtains. There was a floor length mirror beside them, with a black rim around it. The dresses beside them were beautiful.

Usually, I didn't wear dresses, because I never felt comfortable in them. But for my wedding I wanted to wear a dress, something pretty. Something that was me. I looked through floor length dresses, and long sleeve dresses, and no sleeve dresses. Dress with bodices and dresses without. White, cream and beige dresses. All of them beautiful, but none of them me. I sighed deeply as I moved to another rail. I would find something, and soon. Me and Remus had already discussed that getting married as quickly and quietly as possible was the best thing to do.

As I turned away, from a rail full of more dresses that didn't look at all right, I saw it. It was perfect. Pretty, simple, and so me. I walked over to it carefully, as if by stumbling it may disappear.

It was hanging on its own, placed on the wall facing me. It was a tea length, strapless cream dress. The bodice had delicate creases coming up from the waistband, and even more delicate creases going down from the waist band onto the skirt of the dress. A thin black ribbon was placed on the waist band with a petite black flower on the hip. The whole dress was made of soft satin, making me hesitant in touching it; for fear that I may tare it.

"It's beautiful" breathed Ginny, who had come to stand beside me.

"It's very beautiful" I said, touching the skirt briefly, and imagining myself in this dress. I would wear simple cream heels and my hair would be long, golden brown and wrapped on top of my head so that it fell over one of my shoulders. In my head, it looked perfect.

"Your hair changed" commented Fleur, who had come to stand near Ginny. I realised that I had unconsciously changed my hair to fit that of the image I had in my head. "Try it on" she urged, and for once, I gladly did what she said.

When I tried it on, I got Ginny to help me into it so I didn't trip and ruin it. It slipped on perfectly, and hugged my shape in all the best ways, making me look really good.

"Oh my gosh" breathed Ginny as I pulled back the curtain and turned to them both, sitting on little poffes outside the changing room. "You look..."

"Stunning" said Fleur, happily. "Les plus belles. Beautiful".

I smiled and walked carefully over to the floor length mirror to see myself more clearly, feeling the swish of the material around my legs, and gasping at my reflection. I was... beautiful.

"Is that really me?" I whispered, shocked. I never knew I could look this beautiful, this dress was mine now!

"Yep" said Ginny, grinning. "It looks good on you".

"Do you need any assistance?" asked a kind old lady, obviously the store's owner. "That dress looks beautiful on you, dear".

"Thank you" I replied. "I think I'll have it". And so I did. The price was... a lot, but I didn't care. I could afford it and I was officially in love with this dress. I mentally smirked, Remus better watch out. He has a rival.

Apparating separately from Fleur and Ginny, I found myself standing in front of my home. My first, true home. I ran enthusiastically up to the door, holding my dress carefully over my arm. It was wrapped in a clear plastic bag for protection and was enchanted to repel dirt, so I felt safe holding it. I banged loudly on the door and entered easily. As I stepped into the hall way, mum came down the stairs and towards me.

"Dora love, you gave me such a fright" she whispered, coming forward.

"You know, you should really lock that door. Anyone could walk in" I commented.

"Apparently so" she replied, raising her eyebrows at me.

"I need a favor" I said, hurriedly. "I went shopping today, and I need you to look after something for me". I held up the dress and pushed it towards her as she gasped.

"Dora it's, well, it's beautiful" she stuttered. Stuttered!

I beamed. "Will you keep it here for me mum? Obviously I can't take it home, and you're the only person I could think of to trust with this".

"Of course you can keep it here. Put in up in your room" she said. I hurried towards the stairs and as I started to climb, as I heard her say "I'll put the kettle on". I smiled, and continued up to my room. Once there, I pushed open the door into the familiar room and laid my dress out on the bed, before skipping back downstairs and dumping the rest of my shopping bags at the bottom.

As I walked into the kitchen and took my tea from mum, I felt suddenly at ease. In this house, in my home, nothing else existed. All my worries vanished in those few hours sitting with mum, laughing about the good old days. And as I returned to Remus that evening, I felt like nothing could go wrong. Oh, how wrong I was about to be…

**Bit of a crap ending, yes, I know, but it will continue next chapter on what happens that night and then the next day and so forth. And as you know, my laptop went boom, and I lost all my chapters so this had to be re-written. Sadness. Anyway, as it's my birthday and my laptop decided to be stupid, don't you think I deserve a little review? Please? X**


	59. The New Plan

**There will be some kind of graphic description of something gruesome, and possibly upsetting. I'm not letting you in on it now, but it is in the chapter. You have been warned. Also this chapter is more towards the M rating than I realized… whoops. Hope you don't mind. P.s. these chapters are rather long, but it is probable that they will gradually shrink as time moves on. But hopefully that will also mean that your updates will become quicker, because I know I've been gone for awhile.  
**

**The New Plan**

"So, Pius Thicknese is under the imperious curse" I repeated, calmly. I needed clarification that I had heard correctly. I was standing by the door, facing the living room and coincidentally, the entire Order. It was weird to see the Order squashed into my small living room, considering my living room could normally take about five people maximum.

"We believe so yes" said Kingsley, gravely.

"So, what does this exactly mean?" I asked, looking to Remus who was sitting on the sofa, looking tired but alert. He smiled ruefully at me, but it was Mad-eye who answered.

"It means that we have a serious problem" he said, gruffly. "You remember which department Pius is head of?"

"Not off of the top of my head, no" I said, slowly, feeling like an idiot under everyone's gaze. I had been ambushed as soon as I walked in the door, so everyone else knew what was going on, but I didn't. But rather than tell me what's going on, they prefer to drop me hints, make me think and look like a complete prat when I don't say the right thing.

"Magical Law Enforcement" said Kingsley. I felt like an idiot, I had never regarded Pius Thicknese as my superior. Perhaps it was because he hardly entered the Auror headquarters. "He also has regular contact with the Minister".

"One of the few who does" mumbled Arthur, "the Minister spends most of his time shut up in his office".

"So, what does this all mean?" I asked, feeling tired and oddly weary.

"It means serious trouble missy" growled Mad-eye. I turned to glare at him, I suddenly felt really bad, and his growling wasn't helping. I was trying to work out why I felt as bad as he continued to explain. "Pius Thicknese, under the imperious curse, has made it an imprisonable offense to connect Harry Potter's house by Floo, place a Portkey there or Apparate in or out. All in the name of Harry Potter's protection, of course".

"But, if all those things have been made impossible, how are we going to move him?" I asked.

"We don't know. We need a new plan. We were just telling Remus what we told you, when you walked in" explained Kingsley.

"Perhaps, we should brainstorm on our own tonight, and then come together at the Burrow tomorrow?" suggested Arthur, "say 6pm?"

Everyone mumbled there agreement, and began to fall out, wishing both me and Remus goodnight. I just stood by the door, and waited for them all to leave so I could close it slowly behind them. I figured out why I had felt bad when I came in though, I had been drinking coffee with mum and I've supposed to have learnt from past experience that drinking coffee before apparating is a bad idea.

"So" I muttered, looking at Remus. He held his hand out for me to take, and once I had taken it he pulled me gently onto the sofa with him.

"I'm sorry you were ambushed like that, I didn't expect you back for a while".

"It's ok" I whispered, snuggling into his chest. "How was your day?"

"I missed you" He said, "how was shopping?"

"It was good, found some things…" I said, innocently.

"Did you find a certain 'thing' by any chance?" Remus asked, drawing quotation marks with his fingers.

"Yes" I smirked, but he couldn't see me. "I also brought some" I coughed "lingerie".

"Oh really…" he said, slyly. I giggled as his arms encircled my waist. I didn't think about the 'Harry situation' anymore after that. All thoughts were pushed out of my head as Remus stood up and carried me down the hall with surprising strength. Pushed against the bedroom door, I couldn't help but moan as his lips met mine in a mind blowing kiss. Remus's usually well practiced restraint seemed to have disappeared. Maybe I should go out more often.

About an hour later, I lay panting on my bed, trying to get my breath back as Remus pulled away a little. If he thought he was getting away that easily, he had another thing coming. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back so he was on top of me.

"That's better" I teased. He put his head on my shoulder and laughed, and I couldn't help but laugh along with him. It felt so good, so right. I looked over his shoulder at the mess we had made while making our way to the bed. Clothes, and bags and ordinary items that had been once sitting on my dresser, were now scattered on the floor. I felt him kiss my neck and pull up. He put his weight on his elbows either side of me, before stroking my hair idly.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, tangling my hair through his fingers.

"Very" I replied, eagerly. He huffed in amusement.

"I meant for food. Something to fill you up" he said, then blushed. I leapt at the opportunity he'd just '_accidently'_ created.

"You already did that" I smirked, and he burst out laughing. Shaking his head with laughter, he rolled onto his back beside me and put his hands over his face. His laughter was quieting down now, but he was definitely still amused.

"I love it when you laugh" I said, happily turning onto my side to look at him better. He turned his head towards me.

"Why?"

"Because you're beautiful when you laugh" I smiled.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Beautiful?"

"Sexy" I amended.

"Dora" he said, slowly, looking like he was trying to decide whether what he was about to say was a good idea or not.

"What?"

"Well, I think I may have found us the perfect place to get married" he said, carefully.

I propped myself up on my elbow. "Tell me more".

"Well, in the village where I lived when I was younger, there was a small Muggle chapel. It's very old of course, the original messy brick work is still the same and the inside hasn't been decorated in years, but it's still wonderfully preserved. The Chapel can fit about twenty people, at a push. Its quiet secluded, so if you weren't a villager, you'd probably never find it. But I figured, maybe it would be perfect for us. Out of sight, Muggle ceremony" he trailed off.

The images were washing over me, it sounded good. No, more that good, it sounded perfect. "It sounds perfect, Remus. How do we, you know, go about this?"

"Well, we'll need to speak to the vicar there, and of course, you'll probably want to see the Chapel first. Just in case".

My lip twisted nervously, as I thought about this for a minute. "I'm sure I'll love it, but yes, I really want to see it beforehand" I said, "How about tomorrow morning? I don't have to be in work until midday".

"That means you'll be working long into the night then" said Remus, sadly. "Tomorrow morning it is then".

When the next morning rolled around, I got up early, dressing into a knee length, blue flower print summer dress. As I was brushing through my now long, chocolate brown curls, Remus woke up. He was still incredibly sleeping, but got out of bed anyway and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my bare shoulder.

"Good morning, love" he said, sleepily.

"Good morning baby" I cooed, making him roll his eyes. "Want some coffee?"

"Yes please. I'll get dressed" he said, and I smiled, kissing his cheek quickly before walking to the kitchen. As I put in the coffee I went into the bathroom and began to brush my teeth, before moving back into the kitchen. Remus came in several minutes later dressed in loose fitting trousers and a white shirt, with the top two buttons open. I handed him as his coffee, and as he took it, he kissed my hair.

"Thank you".

"No problem" I said, sipping my own coffee. "How are we getting there? Are we apparating?"

"Yes, it'll be easiest" he nodded, smiling at me. I smiled back took two massive gulps of coffee, feeling even more awake.

Remus put his coffee down and began making breakfast. Scrambled eggs on toast, with large dollops of tomato sauce. After breakfast was consumed, we made our way outside into the glorious summer sun, where Remus pulled me into a secluded corner and twisted, dragging me along with him. The familiar sensation of squeezing through a particularly small tube faded as we arrived in the middle of a beautiful garden, with the sun blazing down on us. Remus then took me, not letting go of my hand, along the well-kept lawn towards a small, beautiful building made of old bricks and looking like it had come out of a fairytale book.

"Wow" I breathed.

"Like it?" he asked.

"Like it?" I repeated in awe. He laughed.

"It is quite beautiful; I remember coming here a few times in my youth. I Explored the village, wandering around on my own".

"What did you think of this Chapel, when you first saw it?" I asked, as we reached the entrance.

"I thought that it was magical" he smirked. "Hard to believe it's not".

"It's a different kind of magical" I smiled.

We entered through the open door. There was a small corridor to the right which had two doors, and an even smaller corridor to the left that held only one door. We entered through a second door, into the main building. The pews were beautiful, made from polished oak and carved beautifully. There were 6 rows on each side, and an aisle going down the middle that led to a raised platform.

Suddenly a door opened at the end and out walked a Muggle vicar, looking faintly surprised at me and Remus standing there. He was quite old, in his fifties maybe. He had thick glasses that suited his rather round face. He had large brown eyes and was looking extremely confused.

"May I help you?" asked the vicar politely. Remus moved towards him.

"I certainly hope so" said Remus. "My fiancé and I are planning to get married very soon, and we would very much like to hold the ceremony here if that is at all possible?"

"Well, of course it is possible, certainly" said the vicar, smiling. "May I know your names?" he asked, politely.

"Remus Lupin" said Remus, holding out his hand. The vicar looked thoughtful for a moment, before looking sadly at him.

"You couldn't possibly be John Lupin's boy?" he asked. Remus looked taken aback.

"How do you know my father?" he asked; the pain evident in his voice. I squeezed his hand tightly, I knew Remus was never as close to his father as his mother, but he loved them both a great deal and obviously missed them.

"He used to come here, a long time ago, before…" he trailed off, it was evident he was thinking about Remus's parent's deaths. It must have shaken the Muggle village up, all that happening under their noses. "He would confess, confide in me. Although, some of the things he said. So much guilt for a man to bear" he said, sadly.

Remus looked as if he was about to ask what his dad had confessed, but seemed to think better of it. "Well, would it be alright for our wedding to be held here?" The vicar ushered us into the front row and pulled up a chair from nowhere, looking as if he was about to interview us.

"First, I must ask you what you believe marriage is. Why do you want to get married? What does it mean to you?" he asked, smiling, "For marriage is not something to enter lightly into".

Remus looked thoughtful, and I began to worry so I opened my mouth to say what was in my head.

"Well" I began, stumbling slightly, "I want to marry Remus because I love him, but also because marriage is a promise, that we'll always support each other, no matter what life throws at us. I want to know that someone is always on my side, that they will always love me, no matter what. I know Remus is the only man I will ever love, and will ever make me feel like that. I love him so completely, and when you love someone like I love Remus" I took a breath "getting married is really the only thing left to do".

Remus looked at me, stunned. He had tears in his eyes. "I love you too Dora, so much. I will always be there for you, I will always support you. I will never stop loving you. I never knew real love until you, and I never want to lose you. I want to marry you, I want everyone to know you are mine… and I am yours".

I smiled happily, and kissed him sweetly on the lips. As I pulled away I leaned into his shoulder, looking back at the vicar. He was beaming widely.

"Beautiful, just beautiful" he said, jumping up and going over to the left side of the Chapel, and pulling out a small red book. "How's the 17th of this month?" he asked.

"Perfect" we answered at the same time, still absorbed in each other.

The rest of the morning was spent walking hand in hand through the village, enjoying the early morning sunshine. Remus pointed out various little buildings and what he had known them as. He often mused out loud, wondering if anyone in the village would recognize him like the vicar had. I could see the cogs turning in Remus's brain, as he led me up a narrow lane, surrounded by trees. My feet crunched on the path beneath me.

"Why would my father go to confess in a Muggle Chapel?" he asked, quite suddenly. I didn't have the answer, so I didn't reply. I don't think he was asking me anyway.

As we reached the end of the lane, it fanned out into a sort of drive, surrounded by lush green grass, and standing in the middle was a very old, cute house. I knew it wasn't lived in by the grime on the windows and the darkness of the inside. As we walked towards it, I noticed a weather vane onto top of the chimney, but instead of being a rooster or a horse, the image was a wolf. And not just any wolf, a werewolf. I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Remus" I whispered. "Was this your home?"

"Yes" he said, simply. "After my parents died, I couldn't face coming to live here, but I couldn't bring myself to sell it. Stupid really, I'm always worried about money, and here I am, holding on to a house for no reason".

"Sentimental value" I said, squeezing his hand gently. He shrugged, and looked up at the house.

"Want to go look inside?" I nodded briefly and he pulled me towards the house, and unlocked the door with a small bronze key that he pulled from his pocket. Something struck me as odd just then. Had he been planning all along to bring me here? He had the key on him, which was unusual, unless he always carried it around, but I doubted that very much.

Stepping into the dusty hallway, I peered at the cobwebs covered cream walls and the little doors, and the staircase leading up to the second floor. The banister was very delicately carved, and the house itself was in great shape, except for the dust. Remus moved me through the house, first taking me to the kitchen which was very small, but had a classic stove fire and looking beautiful. Then he took me into the living room, which was bigger than the kitchen and had a bookcase covering an entire wall. The books were dusty, but squished in higgledy piggledy. Then there was the upstairs, with a beautifully decorated master bedroom, that faced onto the front garden. A small, but quite perfectly sized bathroom with black and white tiles and a claw foot bath tub. And then Remus's old room, which contained a single bed, several bookcases and shelves, a tiny wardrobe and a rather big picture on the wall of himself and his friends at Hogwarts. After the 'grand tour' Remus took me into the garden, showing me the magical preserved flowers and telling me stories of his parents. At 11 o'clock we were lying together in the middle of the lawn, looking up at the clouds.

"What did you think?" asked Remus, nervously.

"Your house is amazing" I replied, smiling.

"Thank you" he whispered. "Do you want to live here with me?" he asked, hurriedly.

I blinked rapidly at him for several moments, before spluttering incoherently. Finally, I sorted myself out and answered "Yes, I mean, when? How? What?"

He laughed at my incredulous speech, but answered all the same. "After we're married, and after the war, I thought it might be nice for us to settle down in a house together".

"That would be nice" I said, then added bitterly "when war's over".

"Trust me Love, war will not last forever" he said, leaning over me and brushing hair from my eyes. I lifted my head from the grass and kissed his lips lightly and slowly, teasing his lips apart. All the while my mind was asking the question _"When will war be over?"_

I arrived at the Ministry at Midday, having left Remus to go help Kingsley and Mad-eye with whatever they needed his help for. I'd learnt a long time ago that it was best not to ask. I sat at my desk, dragging paperwork towards me, and resigning myself to it. It was better than the alternative though. But just as I thought this, Proudfoot stuck his head around the door.

"Ah good, you're in. Come on Tonks, Muggle killing" says Proudfoot casually. Many would find his tone disgusting, but I know why he does it. This is the fifth Muggle killing of the week, and we were only three days in. Luckily, I hadn't been to any yet, and I had hoped it would stay that way. Apparently this was not the case. I got up from my desk and sighed, pushing my paperwork away in a huff, before following him down the corridor. We met up with Savage on the way, who had been sent to 'assist' us, and made me feel much better.

I walked out of the Ministry with Proudfoot and Savage, noting how Savage kept twitching and Proudfoot looked straight ahead with a blank face. This was how we coped, if you could call it that.

I was breathing deeply, trying to prepare myself for what I might see. The Deatheaters had made Muggle killing's a sport, some merely used the Killing curse, but others tortured the Muggles in the most horrific ways imaginable. When Proudfoot had come back from his first one with Dawlish, he was shaking like crazy and looked as if he was going to be sick. As I remembered this, I felt terrified. As I gripped the guy's hands to Apparate, I wondered what would happen when we got there.

We landed outside a normal looking house; it was late evening so a shadow passed over it. The door was swinging open and shut in the breeze and the house looked deserted. As Savage and Proudfoot made their way towards the house, I followed them, slightly more hesitant than they were. But they'd done this before. As I stepped over the fresh hold and looked into the hallway, a shiver passed through my body at the horror which I was sure to encounter. Before I could turn back I moved into the house, trying to calm my nerves. I wasn't trained for this, none of us were. We dueled, we apprehended, we fought... but we never collected bodies.

I followed Savage and Proudfoot in a room to the left, and as the door creaked open at Savage's slight touch, I saw words on the wall, written in blood, before I could take in anything else in the room. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or not. When I looked back on this, I guess I would say it was a good thing. The words on the wall were still fresh, since there was blood trailing its way down from the letters it had formed. _'Filth'_. I stared at it, transfixed in horror, until I heard a splattering noise from across the room. I turned towards it and saw Savage on the floor.

He had fallen onto his hands and knees, and had thrown up. I looked at his pale face and shaking body, before turning my head around slowly, so my eyes could fix on whatever it was that he couldn't seem to look away from. What had made him sick? I immediately wished I hadn't turned.

In the corner of the room which I hadn't even glanced at, was a man hanging from a white rope. The rope was tied around the armpits, because it could not be tied around its head. I'll leave it to you to figure out exactly why that was. I looked at the blood soaked body and my stomach churned unpleasantly and I could feel myself start to retch. I grabbed the wall for support as the room span around me. I tried to think of something different, something happy, but it was like having Dementors in the room. Nothing could drive away the feeling of despair and horror, and disbelief. I began to cry, I don't know whether tears were angry or upset, all I knew was I couldn't take it. I unwillingly looked back at the corpse, and then to the floor where the... and then I was down.

I sunk to my knees, my hand out in front of me and my head down, I was retching and crying and cursing. Savage was doing the same. Proudfoot however was staring at the corpse with horror. This had been a human being, who had done nothing wrong.

"Sick" I muttered. "Fucking sick... fuckers" I mumbled, trying to push myself up.

"It won't be the last" whispered Proudfoot, "what a horrible way to die". And then I was sick, I couldn't help it. I thought of this man, of his family. How would they cope? They wouldn't, that's how. I threw up once again. I wanted to kill Deatheaters, wanted to go after them right now, and damn the consequences. Savage was thinking the same thing.

"Deatheaters, bastards!" he spat, as Proudfoot helped him off the floor. "Sick fuckers". I felt myself being pulled to my feet, and clumsily stood as a hand clutched at my arm.

"We have a job to do" said Proudfoot, and I looked at him for the first time. Really looked at him. He was pale and sweaty, and obviously disturbed, but he wouldn't fall apart. One of us needed to be strong. "Mark, check the rest of the house, please" he said, softly, and Mark looked both relieved and terrified. Relieved that he could get out of this room, and terrified of what else may be waiting for him in other parts of the house. He left shakily, and Proudfoot moved forward.

"This isn't even our job" I said, spitting on the floor. The taste in my mouth was unbearable, but it was nothing compared to the scene before me. "I'm sorry Jacob, I can't - can't touch, can't go near" I choked on my words and suppressed a sob.

"I know Tonks, I know" he whispered, and then added bitterly, "while the Minister stays hauled up in his office, we deal with this, and the public knows nothing".

"And those who do turn a blind eye to it" I said, disgusted. "What are we to do?"

"Whatever we can, wrap the body, have it taken away..." he trailed off, "whoever did this, likes to play with their food". I felt myself retching again at these words, and Proudfoot patted my shoulder sympathetically. He then whispered that I didn't have to do anything, just make sure that no-one unfriendly came in. I nodded and pulled out my wand, revolving slowly on the spot, keeping an eye out while trying to ignore what Proudfoot was doing. I couldn't understand how he could do it, I mean yeah, he was using magic, but it was still so terrible. But I guess the level of respect and shame he felt made him continue.

I felt like a coward, but I knew that even the toughest people would find it hard in my position. I just wanted to leave, wanted to forget. I wanted to turn a blind eye to all of this, but I couldn't. I had fought on many occasions as an Auror, but this was the toughest challenge yet.

I can't tell you how we got out of there, what happened next, because it was too disturbing to remember. Savage had found more bodies upstairs; two belonged to children and one to a woman. I couldn't even begin to imagine what state they were in, because at the moment when Savage started to describe the injuries, I collapsed.

"Tonks" whispered a slightly harassed voice. "Tonks, wake up. Come on now, wake up". I was being shaken awake. Had I fallen asleep? No, I had not, I had collapsed after hearing… hearing those dreadful descriptions, after seeing them with my own eyes. Where was I? I was lying on something soft, that much I knew, and I felt very relaxed and sleepy. But I couldn't place the voice, and I was being shaken roughly again. I was suddenly overcome with panic and my eyes snapped open.

There, in front of my eyes was Mark, fellow Auror and good friend. A look of relief spread across his face as I frowned at him.

"You alright there?" he asked, his voice no longer sounding as anxious as it had done.

"Yeah, I think so" I muttered. "I collapsed didn't I? Merlin I'm weak… where am I?"

"You, missy, are not weak" he replied, glaring at me intensely. "The things that we saw were dreadful, and even I felt faint at the sight of them. You are not weak for showing emotion at the sight of them, you are human".

I decided not to argue, Mark was looking determinedly at me. I started to believe him as his words sank in. I was only human, and humans should not have to suffer being in that situation or seeing it. I breathed heavily a sigh of frustration.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"You are in Jacob's living room, and before you ask, it's just gone 5 o'clock in the evening".

"What? Five? How did…"

"Jacob put you to sleep; after you collapsed he thought it was best. You may not remember it but before you collapsed I think you had an anxiety attack or something" he said, concernedly. "Proudfoot checked you over though; he said your fine, just suffering from shock, although if you want I can take you to ?"

"No, I feel fine. Relaxed" I whispered, "What did Robards say?" I asked, anxiously.

"Nothing. We didn't tell him. He's not a very good head of department really, so I don't think he'll notice" shrugged Mark.

"Where's Proudfoot?" I asked, finally sitting up and looking around for him. His living room was tiny; it contained the one small sofa I was laying upon and a rather shabby looking armchair. There were many shelves dotted on the walls, all with pictures sitting on them. Most of the pictures contained a woman with long blonde hair, and deep brown eyes who was holding two children. Each photograph differed, but the people remained almost the same. All accept one. There was one of Proudfoot, Savage and, to my surprise, Me. I blinked at it. We were all sitting around the table in the flat back at Hogsmead and none of us seemed to realize we'd been photographed. Savage and Proudfoot were laughing at something holding coffees while I was rolling my eyes and shaking my head in amusement. I remembered it well, I'd just come in from patrol and was too tired to really take in what was going on.

"I took it" said Savage suddenly, dragging me out of my memory.

"When?"

"I didn't mean to, I sort of left my camera on the side and it took this. I was messing around with it before you came in. It's nice, I think".

It is" I agreed. Just then, a Patronus bounded into the room, and I recognized it at once as Remus's. It looked at me, then Mark and then vanished.

"What just happened?" Mark asked, confused.

"It doesn't want to speak in front of you, because it doesn't know who you are" I explained, "where's my wand?"

"In your pocket" Mark smirked.

I plunged my hand into my pocket and held it up to my throat. "It's ok Remus, it's just Mark here" I said, before casting my wolf Patronus and watching it bound away. Several moments later, Remus's Patronus answered mine.

"_We are eating at the burrow tonight" _it said, before vanishing. I took that to mean that he was there right now, and that I should come to the Burrow after work instead of going straight home. I then remembered there was a meeting later, and Remus was trying to nudge me on that subject without letting Mark know. I trusted Mark completely for many reasons, but Remus was suspicious of everyone and I couldn't blame him for it.

Within ten minutes I had Apparated to the Burrow, and moved swiftly towards the charming house that looked and smelled so familiar. I rapped on the door, and entered quickly into the kitchen, shutting the door firmly behind me with a snap. Once in the kitchen, I noticed it was only Remus sitting at the table, a mug of tea in one hand and the Daily Prophet lay out on the table in front of him. He looked up as I entered, and his eyes conveyed surprise to see me standing there. I giggled and went to sit next to him.

As I slipped into the chair he leaned towards me and kissed me carefully on the lips, drawing me in. I shivered as he did so, I loved it when he teased me but I would never admit it. As he drew away I let out a little moan, and pouted. He moved back to his original position and laughed lightly at me.

"Hello Love, I didn't expect you to arrive so soon".

"I didn't want to keep you waiting" which was the truth, but also I had not wanted to face the Ministry after earlier events. I was already beginning to feel uneasy about it again.

"The meeting won't start for fifth teen minutes yet" he stated.

"Good. Plenty of time to do this then" I said, leaning over and kissing him firmly on the lips. I lifted my hand and ran my fingers carelessly through his hair, dragging him towards me. His hands found my hips and pulled me closer so that I was half straddled on his lap, his tongue was gliding a long my bottom lip making my lips part as I groaned. I pushed against him, sinking my hands further into his hair whilst attempting to straddle him fully.

However, before I could take it any further, Remus pulled away and pushed me back onto my own chair. Still reeling from our kiss and how hard I had pushed for something more, I twisted my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck.

"Remus"

"Nymphadora" he groaned, "not here, not now. Someone could walk in, it's hardly appropriate" he said, but my brain had already turned to mush.

"You don't know what you do to me" I whispered, surprised at myself. It was like I was goading him, trying to push him. Luckily, Remus had a lot more will power than I did.

"Nymphadora no, not now" he said.

"Later?" I enquired, cheekily. I pulled away so I could see his face.

"If you behave"

"I will professor" I said, imploringly. Now feeling thoroughly embarrassed with my behaviour, I leaned my back against his side so I didn't have to look him in the eye and looked down at the paper. His arm wrapped around my shoulder loosely. "So, what have you been doing while I've been working?" I asked.

"Oh, well I've been having a bit of a chat with Ron and Hermione" he said, nonchalantly. I nodded at this, because I knew exactly why he had been chatting with them. We, as an Order, were rather under the impression that Dumbledore had left Harry, Ron and Hermione some sort of mission. As they were only just of age, we were all concerned, though I believe everyone has their own reasons for wanting to find out what Dumbledore told them. For me, I just didn't want them getting hurt.

"Did they tell you anything?" I asked.

Remus sighed. "No, they said Dumbledore told them they weren't allowed to tell anyone. It's quite understandable really".

"Arthur had a go didn't he?" I asked.

"Yes, but he got the same answer I did. Molly's not giving up though" Remus said, grimly amused.

"I understand where she's coming from, but they've always been… different. I think we should trust them and Dumbledore".

Our conversation was cut short by the arrival of Molly and Bill coming into the kitchen, soon followed by Arthur, Fred, George, Ron and Hermione. When more of the Order turned up we were forced to squeeze together to make room. I sat on Remus's lap leaning my back against the wall; Bill and Fleur were in chairs next to us. Arthur and the twins were on the other side of the table, Hermione was standing against the counter with Ron, Hestia and Molly. Mad-eye was standing in the corner leaning on his staff, Dedalus was sitting on an old stool in the corner, Kingsley was leaning against the same wall that I was, just behind Remus's chair, Mundungus was standing next to the door, looking slightly vacant and Hagrid was sitting in the doorway, having abandoned his attempt to squeeze into the kitchen. McGonagall walked in last, and Hagrid moved aside to let her in, and Fleur offered her chair to her, by sitting comfortably in Bill's lap like I was in Remus's. The exception was that she was leaning into Bill's chest and I was resting against the wall.

"We need to discuss what we're going to do about moving Harry from his Aunt and Uncle's house, to the Burrow" said Mad-eye gruffly, "so, any ideas?"

"Well obviously we can't move him by means of anything that can be traced by the Ministry" said Bill. "So what does that leave us with?"

"Brooms" I piped up.

"Anything else?"

"Thestrals, 'an I got Sirius's motorbike" said Hagrid.

"Seems like the only options open to us are those that involve flying, and by that I mean, moving in the open. That in itself is very risky; we would be putting Harry in too much danger. Two years ago it worked because Voldemort was not out in the open, but I seriously doubt that we could pull it off a second time" said Remus, calmly.

"If I could just butt in, I have a bit of an idea" said Mundungus suddenly. Every head in the kitchen swivelled in his direction. "I have had to squeeze out of some difficult spots in my time, and I think we can use broom and all that to move Harry if we use certain protections. So, what if, there was more than one Harry Potter moving from his house to another location on the night that we decided to take him" Mundungus paused for a second, letting us digest this. Several eyebrows flew up and I felt a frown form on my face. What on earth was he talking about?

"Go on" said Kingsley, in a deep voice. Mundungus inclined his head, looking extremely important for a moment.

"What if, as seven is the most powerful magic number, there were seven Potters moving through the skies, by different means of transport. We could use Polyjuice Potion, turn six of the Order into Potter doubles and make another seven of us protectors" he explained. I thought about this for moment, it was a very clever idea after all. Then again, Mundungus could be clever when he wanted to be, and criminals often possessed cunning to get them out of tricky situations.

"Zat eez all very well, but won't ze Deatheaters no if seven 'arry's all set off for ze Burrow at once" interjected Fleur, looking confused. She did have a point there.

"They wouldn't be" said Mundungus. "I suggest we use safe houses, homes that only we know about and each of the pairs goes off to a different safe house, which will…"

"Confuse the Deatheaters" I jumped in. "If there are Deatheaters, and perhaps Voldemort though I'm hoping there's not, they won't know who to follow. Voldemort couldn't follow seven different Harry's at once".

"I don't think Harry will be too happy with this plan" said Hermione, wisely.

"If it saves his life it will be" growled Mad-eye, a little harshly. I gave Hermione a kind smile, before glaring at Mad-eye.

"Yes he will, but he doesn't like the people he cares about being in danger, so Hermione has a point" I said, before sighing, "However, if I've calculated it correctly there will be thirteen of us and only one of him".

"We'll discuss the ins and outs of it once we know which day we'll be moving him" said Arthur, "Like we said before, it'll have to be before he turns seventeen, because his mother's charm breaks when he becomes of age or when he no longer calls his Aunt and Uncle's house his home".

"Didn't we say we were going to move him on the Saturday before his birthday? The 26th?" asked Hestia.

"It was discussed, and I think that's the plan" said Kingsley.

"We might as well stick with it then. But the Ministry might interfere; we need to slip them a false trail, so that it'll leak back to the Deatheaters. It might not work, but we need to cover every angle" growled Mad-eye.

"Tonks could do it to one of the Aurors or something" shrugged Fred.

"Tonks?" asked Mad-eye.

"Yeah, I can do it. In fact, I think I know just the right Auror" I mumbled, trying to hide a smirk.

"So now all there is to decide is who's going and what safe houses we shall use" said Arthur.

For some reason it was Kingsley, Mad-eye and I who were the ones picked to plan things out. Nearly everybody melted away into different rooms and left me, Mad-eye and Kingsley leaning over the Burrow's kitchen table which was now covered in various bits of parchment containing lists and diagrams and a rather large map.

Remus had stayed in his seat at the table, as had Mundungus, watching our discussion and occasionally voicing an opinion, or else talking quietly to Arthur who had also stayed in the kitchen to help 'prepare supper'. I don't know what our consistent mumbled and discussing would sound like to an outsider, but it would probably be odd. Each member of the Order flitted through the kitchen offering helpful suggestions, but often not staying to long as Mad-eye was getting short tempered. He wanted everything perfect, and kept mumbling stuff under his breath like…

"No not that, that's idiotic"

"Can't do that – no, I know what we'll do…"

"Too risky, too risky…"

After a while I sighed and sat down next to Remus, resting my head on his shoulder. We had finally agreed on transport, who would be going, who would be Harry and who would be the protector and why; just in case anyone tried to argue. We were now discussing safe houses before bringing the Order back to give them a rundown of the finalized plan.

"My place can be used; Dedalus's place though no-one will be there if he's taking the Dursley's…"

"Muriel's place can be used" piped up Arthur, though he looked slightly nauseated at the idea.

"My Mum and Dad's house is around this area, well, there exactly" I said, pointing on the map. "I'm sure I can persuade them to let us use it. I mean, we will be putting protection over these locations right. Order and Ministry protection. So, it'll be safe" I said, more to myself than anything.

"Well, that makes four. Still need three more" growled Mad-eye. The discussions continued until in the end, we found seven locations that could be protected and a Portkey be placed there. Deciding the Portkey's wasn't even worth discussing. Mad-eye had already said he would charm and place the Portkey's, so that they all got us back to the Burrow, and he had also agreed to use his own supply of Polyjuice Potion for the transformations. Now all was left was to confirm Mundungus's plan so that every Order member knew what was going on. Also, those who were not in the Order were to be informed also… I was wondering how exactly Molly would react…

**Ok, I finished it there because we know the plan already because Mad-eye told us in the DH book. It's very hard to try and write this but I hope I did ok. Next chapter... well... i'm thinking you'll like it ;)  
**


	60. From This Day Forward

**Thank you for your kind reviews; I couldn't reply to some because my internet is playing up but please know that I am grateful. Well, here it is the one you've all been begging for ;) …**

From This Day Forward

Hasty preparations began soon after, with Mad-eye running around making Portkeys, checking that he had enough Polyjuice Potion (which in actual fact he had a lot of) and bossing various members of the Order around in an attempt to make everything perfect. Mundungus was putting up a lot of protest after hearing that Mad-eye intended him to be one of the 'Harry's', but Mad-eye was having none of it. Over and over again he would growl at Mundungus to stop being a cowardly little squirt and reminded him every time that it was his idea in the first place. I however, did not think this was a good idea, and had voiced this to Mad-eye when he had taken me for a walk around the garden, to talk about the Ministry and his own fears.

"_Mundungus needs to come, he is one of the Order and I need to keep an eye on him" Mad-eye had growled, when I had questioned him about whether it was best to take Mundungus along. "Besides, there is no-one else I can ask to do, no-one that I trust"._

"_I guess" I had muttered in reply, "but I'm uneasy Mad-eye, he's acting strange, he doesn't want to do it…"_

"_I'm aware. And your instincts are as strong as ever. However, that is why he has to come, he is merely frightened" said Mad-eye, "everyone is, and him acting like a coward is not helping". He had looked uneasy to me then, and I saw a flash of worry in his normal eye._

"_What is it Mad-eye?"_

"_I doubt very much that the Deatheaters and even Voldemort himself will not know. They are not stupid, unfortunately. If Voldemort shows up, I expect he will go for me first, he will believe he is with the most skilled Auror. I am not trying to make myself look important…"_

"_I know Mad-eye. I know why you're saying that he will go for you first, but he won't be there. The plan is good, really good" I had said, desperate to believe it myself. Which I did, in some respects, but I was still worried. Being an Auror had taught me to expect the unexpected._

_Mad-eye nodded grimly, though he didn't seem to really agree. "Have you leaked a trail to the Ministry, yet?"_

"_Yes, I have. I Confunded Dawlish into thinking that Harry was being moved on the 30__th__ by a whole task force of Aurors" I explained, and Mad-eye looked, if not grimly, pleased. "Have the protective charms been set around each of the safe homes?" _

"_Kingsley and I did it, don't worry, your parents' house is charmed good and proper, and they will be safe" he reassured, and I felt slightly better. Harry and Hagrid would be flying to my parents' house instead of me, because as Mad-eye had rightly said, they would know immediately who was entrusted by the Order if I was to head that way. I still felt uneasy, but more annoyed at the fact that I would be flying to Muriel's. I detested the old bat very much. "By the way, how did you manage to convince your mother, I had a feeling that she was not happy to see us…?"_

Mad-eye had been right of course, my Mother had not been happy. When I had first approached her, I had lulled her into a false sense of security talking about the wedding, the dates and the arrangements which were fairly simple but filled me with excitement all the same. And then, while sipping tea up the table beside her, watching dad fiddle with the stove, I had dropped the question. It hit the room like a bomb that had my dad shoot up straight and turn to look at me in awe, and my mum had dropped her tea cup in surprise.

"_Dora, that is – such a question – I don't know…" my Mother had stumbled, extremely shocked by my surprise question._

"_Everything will be safe; the Order will put powerful enchantments over the House so you will be protected. All we would need to do is place a Portkey here, and when Harry arrives, you give it to him so he can return to the Burrow…" and then I had explained the whole plan, because my Mother had demanded it furiously._

"_There is great deal of danger involved, are you sure it is quite safe?" asked Dad, thoughtfully._

"_Quite safe, like I said, they will not know we are moving Harry that night. Harry and Hagrid will arrive on a motorbike, and all you would have to do is show them to the Portkey. All this is just precautionary" I explained. _

_Dad nodded. "Alright then"_

"_Ted! This is dangerous, far too dangerous. You shouldn't even be going" she said, rounding on me._

"_I'm an Auror mum, I can look after myself" I sighed, this argument had cropped up so many times over the years that it was getting tiring to repeat it._

"_Andromeda, see reason please. Hasn't our daughter proven her capability all these years" snapped Dad, to which I had blinked in surprise. He hardly ever snapped at Mum._

"_Of course she is capable" she said, "I know that, but I am worried about the aftermath. What if something happens to her? To us?" she asked, sounding frightened._

"_Now Meda, nothing will happen. We will be doing our bit, helping out in these dark times. Isn't that what you want? To help the right side any way we can. To help Harry Potter?" Dad argued, reasonably, and I saw then that Dad had won. Mum agreed to the plan, though she did not look happy and was mumbling under her breath about my safety for the rest of the day._

But none of that mattered right now, and all of it had been pushed to the back of my mind like some far off memory as my heart pounded with excitement and fear. Today was the day. Today was the day that I, Nymphadora Tonks married Remus Lupin. And I had to say that, standing looking at my reflection in the floor length mirror in front of me, I was terrified. Excited yes, because this was what I wanted, but I was also terrified of mucking something up. What if I tripped up the Aisle, or stumbled on the Vows? It would not do to be clumsy today.

I was standing in a room in the chapel, where the bride usually waits. The floor length mirror in front of me showed myself in my beautiful dress, my hair pinned and twisted into curls that draped down one side of my neck and a little light make-up applied by my mum that made my dark brown eyes shine brighter and my cheeks look splendidly rosy.

In my head I was going over everything, because everything had to be just right. Bill was Remus's best man, and after many puppy dog eyes that I got directed my way, Fleur was mine. Dad was going to walk me down the Aisle and seated in the Chapel would be most of the Weasley's and Mad-eye. I didn't know who else Remus had invited as we had agreed to keep the ceremony small and private. Taking several deep breaths I ran my hand over the material of my dress, imagining the look on Remus's face when he saw me. I was beautiful, even more beautiful than I could ever have imagined myself to be. And I was about to become Nymphadora Lupin!

I looked up at the clock on the wall, noting that I still had thirty minutes until I was supposed to get married. Mum had insisted I come early so that I was ready, much to my continued pouting and exclamations of "The bride is meant to be late!" In fact, two hours ago my mum had found me in the kitchen wearing my scruffiest jeans and my baggy old yellow t-shirt, with my hand in the cookie jar. I hadn't felt the need to get dressed yet, and was indulging my nerves with chocolate chip cookies.

"_Nymphadora, you need to get ready! Upstairs now, Fleur is waiting to do your hair" My mum shrieked._

"_Just one more cookie?" I pleaded._

"_No Nymphadora, upstairs now. You are getting married today in case you've forgotten"._

Oh yes Mother, of course, I had totally forgotten that I was getting married to the man whom I loved more than anything in the world today. Thank you for reminding me, I thought sarcastically in my head at the memory.

I strained my ears in the silent room to listen to what was happening beyond it. I could hear the sounds of many feet moving along the corridor outside, and hear the whispered voices of my Mum, Molly and Fleur outside the door. I was very glad they had not come in yet; I was beginning to feel jittery. The bones in my legs seemed to have disintegrated and I had to pull out a stool that was tucked under a small dressing table, just so I could sit down before I fell down. I was going to be married in; I looked at the clock, fifth teen minutes! I was not unhappy about this, in fact I was thoroughly excited, but I couldn't help but wonder how Remus was. How was he feeling? Did he still think this was a good idea; did he still want to marry me? Just as I was about to panic completely, Remus soft, musical voice floated into my head and made me relax.

Last night I had left him to go sleep at my Parents house, as mum had said it was traditional that the groom did not see the bride before the wedding. I had been standing on the outside of my front door, leaning against the door frame, as he stood across from me, leaning on the door frame that was in the flat.

"_Go on Nymphadora, I'll see you tomorrow" Remus said, smirking. I pouted. "Go, before your mum kills me for keeping you here"._

"_Does that mean that if I stay here pouting, then you'll have to let me stay tonight?" I asked, hopefully. He laughed and put a hand on the side of my cheek, stroking it lightly. Yay, I had won._

"_No". Damn. "We're getting married tomorrow, Nymphadora" he whispered, gently._

"_I'm aware of that" I said, grinning. He smiled brightly back._

"_Go now, I'll meet you tomorrow under the altar" he whispered, kissing my lips softly._

"_I'll be the one in white" I smirked. He chuckled. The scene faded._

There was a knock at the door, startling me. I turned quickly as it creaked open, and my Dad peeped his head around the door. He beamed at the sight of me and came into the room, shutting the door behind him. He held his arms out in front of him and looked at me, apparently speechless. I tried not to laugh at his expression, as I took in his Muggle suit which bulged slightly over his stomach, but looked good on him all the same.

"Hey Dad" I said, trying to act casual.

"Oh, baby girl" he whispered, "you look beautiful… just like your Mother".

"I don't look that old, do I?" I said, cheekily, but smiled at the compliment. "Thanks Dad".

"So, you ready?" he asked. I turned back to the mirror to give myself a last look of Nymphadora Tonks. She smiled encouragingly back at me.

"Yes, I'm ready".

Taking his offered arm, we exited the room and came to stand at the side of the door which would lead me down the aisle to Remus. My heart rate quickened and my breathing became rapid. This was it. This was it. This was it…

"Breathe, Nymphadora" said Dad, gently. "Everything's going to be just fine".

"Yeah, everything's going to be fine" I repeated.

"I am so proud of you" he said, happily. "Always remember that. I love you, baby girl".

"Love you too, Dad". And then music struck up from inside. My heart beat raced as Dad patted my arm encouragingly before leading me towards the door and up the aisle.

Walking down the aisle was completely different to what I had realistically thought or daydreamed. It was the best feeling in the world, the music played and I gripped my Dad's arm tightly, scared that I might fall over in these ridiculously high heels. But then I looked up at the altar and saw Remus standing there. As I watched him my face split into a wide smile, and he smiled just as widely back, even if it was a little nervously. Everyone in the room melted away at that point, and it felt like only he and I existed in the world. I watched him as his eyes roamed over me, making me feel even more beautiful. As I finally reached him the music stopped. Remus shook hands with my Dad and then took mine. As I turned to face him properly he leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"You look beautiful, Nymphadora".

When the priest began the ceremony with "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of Nymphadora Tonks and Remus John Lupin…" I knew I should be listening fully to what he was saying, but I was trying to take everything in at once, and my brain felt overwhelmed. I could feel myself eying Remus hungrily; he really did look good in his Muggle suit. It was a deep black suit with a crisp white shirt underneath and a black tie with thin dark blue stripes on it. He looked absolutely gorgeous.

I focused my attention back to the priest, listening carefully this time to what he was saying to the both of us: _"__Marriage is a solemn institution to be held in honour by all, it is the cornerstone of the family and of the community. It requires of those who undertake it a complete and unreserved giving of one's self. It is not to be entered into lightly, as marriage is a sincere and mutual commitment to love one another. This commitment symbolizes the intimate sharing of two lives and still enhances the individuality of each of you."_

I couldn't help but agree with everything he was saying, staring into Remus's eyes. He stared back, a happy smile upon his face. I could faintly hear crying from the front row, which sounded strangely like Molly and my Mum. I wanted to laugh at my mum, tough as nails, yet she sobs herself silly in the front row of my wedding. I look at Remus and beam, gesturing with my eyes for him to look. He looks over and grins back at me, we are both enjoying the same moment. Then the priest interrupts our silent communication, and butterflies erupt violently in my stomach.

"Is there anyone here present, who knows of any lawful impediment, why these two should not be joined in Holy Matrimony?" the priest asked. No-one spoke, making me relax a little. My relief must have shown on my face because Remus squeezed my hands a little tighter, and rubbed his thumb across my palm. I smiled happily at him. And then it was time to recite the vows. I gulped as Remus went first. We had written our own vows that meant something to us. Remus was a fabulous writer and so I had left him to it for the most part, occasionally dropping in something I believed should be in there. He opened his mouth, and recited the vows perfectly, I felt like I was in a trance.

"_Today I give myself to you in marriage._

_I promise to love you in good times and in bad,_

_When life seems easy and when it seems hard._

_I promise to stay by your side,_

_In sickness and in health,_

_When life seems good and when it seems bad,_

_To always be open and honest with you,_

_And cherish you for as long as we both shall live._

_All that I am and all that I have, I offer to you in love and in joy._

_I give myself to you completely, and I promise to love you always,_

_From this day forward._

_I will love you forever."_

And then it was my turn. I felt for sure that my voice would break as I recited the vows to him; I felt tears well up in my eyes. He squeezed my hands gently and smiled. I smiled back, and said my vows with a surprising steady voice, smiling brightly whilst saying them.

"_Today I give myself to you in marriage._

_I promise to love you in good times and in bad,_

_When life seems easy and when it seems hard._

_I promise to stay by your side,_

_In sickness and in health,_

_When life seems good and when it seems bad,_

_To always be open and honest with you,_

_And cherish you for as long as we both shall live._

_All that I am and all that I have, I offer to you in love and in joy._

_I give myself to you completely, and I promise to love you always,_

_From this day forward._

_I will love you forever."_

Now I was crying. Silent happy tears fell slowly from my eyes. I looked down at our intertwined hands as felt Remus's hands twitch in mine, like he wanted to take them out. But as I looked back up at his face, I realized that, like always when I was upset, he wanted to comfort me. But I was upset. I was extremely happy. I smiled and intertwined our fingers slowly, reassuring him. A tear slipped from his eye too.

The priest was speaking again. "I shall now ask who has the ring."

"I have them" said Bill, happily, handing Remus a white gold band and then turning to me with a wink, he stepped back.

"First Remus, will you please place the ring on Nymphadora left hand". Remus did so, fumbling slightly, and we both giggled at how clumsy he was being; that was usually my thing. The priest chuckled slightly as well as he turned to Remus, who had now successfully slid the ring onto my finger. "Do you, Remus John Lupin, take thee Nymphadora Tonks to be your lawful wedded Wife? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, for fairer or fouler, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"I do".

And do you, Nymphadora Tonks, take thee Remus John Lupin to be your lawful wedded Husband? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, for fairer or fouler, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"I do".

"Then, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride".

Without thinking I wrapped my arms around his neck, and I felt his arms go around my waist. He didn't kiss me. I didn't kiss him. We kissed. It was unlike any other kiss we had shared, because this kiss symbolised something very important. We were married, we were together and nothing was going to tear us apart. As we pulled away, everyone got up and started congratulating us. Molly and Mum hugged me tearfully, and everyone shook Remus's hand who looked delighted. I smiled happily at the look on my husband's face. Husband! And then something happened that could only lift my spirits further.

"Nymphadora" called a girly voice, from behind everyone. I pushed my way through them to get to the voice, hardly believing my ears. Everyone was so busy talking (and in some cases, crying) that they didn't notice. And then I saw her, standing in the aisle, her arms open and her smile wide.

"Layla" I called, running hastily towards her, and hugging her fiercely. She hugged me back and then pulled away, looking at me.

"It's been too long, Mrs Lupin" she trilled.

"I like the sound of that. And yes it has" I agreed. "What are you doing here? I mean, how did you know? What-"

"You've got a good Husband there, Tonks. Sorry, can't call you that anymore can I" said Layla, giggling. "He invited us; we came over for a week to see Matt's parents, so we came to surprise you". It was just then that I noticed Matt hovering behind her. I smiled to him and beckoned him over, pulling him into a big hug.

"That was beautiful, Tonks" he smiled, "Took you long enough" he teased. I stuck my tongue out and he looked over my shoulder. "Your being missed, you better get back over there. We're in town for the rest of the week, how about we meet up for lunch Tomorrow? it's a friday, you can take the day off, right?"

"Yes, you must" implored Layla.

"Of course" I said, "thank you, for coming. I'm sorry".

"Don't be sorry" said Layla, "anyway, we had better be off, or Matt's mum will be having kittens by now" she said, rolling her eyes. "See you Tomorrow. Cosy Cauldron, about 1pm? And congratulations"

"Sure, thank you" I smiled, hugging her again, and watching them walk away. I was then pulled back into the crowd of Weasley's, my Parents, Mad-eye and Kingsley by Ginny, who hugged me and told me how pretty I was. I thanked her and smiled, making my way towards Remus, and slipping my hand into his. He pulled me close to him as Molly started ushering people from the chapel. We were going back to Molly's for dinner. Apparently she'd been working on it for days, according to Ginny that is, who whispered it in my ears as she walked towards her brothers.

"Thank you" I whispered to Remus. "You are a wonderful, wonderful Husband".

"And you are a stunningly beautiful Wife. My stunningly beautiful wife" he smiled. "And you welcome, I knew you'd want your friends here" he said, sadly, and I knew he was remembering his friends and how much he had wanted them to be here.

"The Marauders are here Remus" I whispered, placing my hand over his heart. "Do you think they would have thought me good enough for their dear Moony?" I asked, smiling. I now realised that we were the only ones left in the chapel.

"They would, because I certainly do. You are too good for me Nymphadora, but I'm happy that you are mine" he said, his eyes shining. "And I have a surprise for you later".

"What is it?"

"Well, if I was to tell you, Mrs Lupin, then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore, would it?" Remus chuckled, kissing my hand and tugging me down the aisle. I clung to him happily, more happily than I had ever done in my life. I loved how he had said Mrs Lupin. It felt so right, like it was made for me. "Come on, best get to the Burrow. Wouldn't want to miss out on Molly's magnificent feast now, would we?"

"No Mr Lupin, we certainly wouldn't".

Turns out Molly had gone all out with her cooking, producing a feast that covered three tables in the Burrow's back yard. Everyone sat around it, eating and laughing; I felt content and happy, with Remus's arm around me. I placed my head into his neck, kissing him softly as he squeezed my leg under the table. I found myself eating very little, but playing with my wedding ring and trying to guess Remus's surprise. Within an hour I realised that nearly everybody at the table knew what it was, and I didn't.

Mum and Dad were snuggled together at one end of the table and the Weasley's were sitting happily together, laughing and singing drunkenly (this was mainly Bill and Arthur, with Mad-eye joining in whenever he felt like it). Remus nudged me under the table, and turned so he could kiss me. I didn't care that everyone was here, possibly watching. I also didn't care about the fact that even though I hadn't drunk any alcohol, but as Remus pulled away I felt incredibly tipsy.

"Do you want your surprise now?" he asked. I nodded happily, not trusting my voice, so we made our good-byes and walked away from the Burrow. When we were out of sight Remus stooped, pulled off his tie and held it up to me.

"That's your tie" I pointed out, wondering what the hell he was showing it to me for. He laughed and advanced towards me, placing it over my eyes. I gasped out a little "Oh" as I realised what we were doing.

"Why are you blindfolding me?" I asked, as I felt him finish tying the tie around my eyes. I then felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind, and his lips pressing against my neck, sucking gently on one spot. My head lolled back onto his shoulder, and I felt his hands glide up and down my dress.

"To add to the dramatic effect" he whispered, finally answering my question. "Hold on tight now".

Then he turned and I turned with him. The feeling of being squeezed through an incredibly small tube, and then landing on soft, though rather bumpy ground. However my feet were not on the ground for long. As soon as my feet touched the ground, they were lifted off again as Remus swept me into his arms and carried me off somewhere (obviously, I couldn't see where).

"Remus, where are we? Where are we going?" I asked, trying hard not to giggle as I placed my arms clumsily around his neck. He just chuckled, and didn't reply. I pouted, and felt for sure he'd seen it because he started laughing harder. As my eyes were covered I started paying more attention to the sounds around me. I could hear Remus's footsteps crunching on the floor and a faint splashing noise from up ahead. I gasped, I was sure I knew where we were now, because Remus's footsteps had gone quiet even though we were still moving. And I could hear water, lapping against the sandy shore, which was…

"The beach" I whispered, as Remus finally put me down. I tugged off my blindfold off and sure enough, I was looking at the beach Remus had brought me to on our date. I smiled widely and turned back to him. "I love this place".

"I know" he whispered, "but there's something new here" he whispered. "I wonder if you can spot it". I looked at him confusedly, before turning around and scanning the sandy shores for something out of place. After a few seconds I spotted it, wondering how I'd missed it the first time I looked. Not far away from us was a wooden stage on the sand, with a wizarding wireless standing next to it. On each corner of the stage were poles that had fairy lights draped between them. It looked like a giant glittering spider web.

"Oh my… It's beautiful" I gasped, turning around. "Remus…"

"Do you like it?" he asked, apprehensively.

"Oh Remus, I love it. I love you" I whispered, leaning up and kissing him on the lips. "You did this for me?"

"Yes" he whispered. "You deserve it".

That night was spent dancing on the beach, wrapped in each others arms under the stars and the twinkle of fairy lights. My head rested on his shoulder as his hands gripped my back, and pulled us close together. Soon dancing wasn't enough, and I kissed him hungrily as he span me around in time with the music. We stayed long after it went dark and only left in the early hours of the morning. We returned home with a broken music player, and without Remus's shirt which had mysteriously disappeared. Our first night as man and wife, and I couldn't have been happier.

**OK, finished this earlier than I expected. It's a little short, but I hope you liked it. The vows were very hard to write (yes, I wrote them myself), what am I saying; they were bloody difficult! Hope you liked it, and I'm very sorry to say, it all goes downhill from here. Please review, until next time, Gurugirl xx**

**P.s. I am starting to re-write earlier chapters, correct grammar and such, with the help of my friend who has kindly agreed to look over my work with me, because he is much better at this stuff than me. Should start putting them up during the summer, so, you've been warned! X**


	61. When Things Start to Change

**Thank you for all your favourites' alerts and reviews. I wrote this a little quicker than I thought I would. I am hoping that everyone will review, please? Pretty please? On request, Tonks gets harder… and she will continue to do so… won't say anymore now.**

When things start to change

I was walking through Diagon Alley, ignoring a particularly annoying amulet seller who had followed me for half a mile before I cursed him, and still he persisted. He was rattling amulets at me, telling me I was in grave danger if I did not buy one from him. I rolled my eyes and kept on towards the end of Diagon alley, where the Cosy Cauldron was. I was surprised to find it open, though it looked rather grubby from a distance and looked like it might soon be out of business. Diagon alley was no longer the colourful, magnificent shopping alley it had once been. It saddened me, to think of school children coming here for the first time and seeing abandoned shops, bordered up windows and posters of my beloved auntie screaming from the nearest window.

"Come on girly, you need an amulet to protect that pretty neck of yours-" I whipped around and put my wand in his face.

"What part of no do you not understand?" I hissed. "I am an Auror, I ought to report you, and that I will if you do not leave me alone" I said, in a dangerously low voice. My mum used this voice when trying to convey her dislike and speak with authority. I had a good teacher on this it seems, as the man backed off immediately, running back up Diagon Alley. As I turned back around quickly, I felt pleased with myself and intended to head once more for the Cosy Cauldron, and caught myself. I suddenly felt very dizzy, the alley was spinning and I felt my body heat rapidly. But why?

As soon as the sensation came however, it left, and even though I was very confused I put it out of my mind and entered the Cosy Cauldron, looking for Layla and Matt. They were sitting in one of the back booths and both looked extremely nervous. I weaved my way towards them, feeling extremely happy at the sight of them.

"Hey guys" I greeted, slipping into the booth. They both looked at me nervously. "What?"

"Diagon Alley really has changed, hasn't it?" whispered Layla.

"I'm used to it" I shrugged, cheerily. It had been this way for a while, and was unlikely to change.

"That's sad" muttered Matt.

"I'm not sad" I snapped, suddenly, making several people turn their heads towards me. Matt looked stunned.

"I never said you were" he said, quickly.

"Oh, well, okay then" I said, slipping down in my chair. My brain was ticking over, the same thoughts for a while now, trying to make sense of it all. But it never made sense.

"Tonks are you – are you okay?" Layla asked, timidly.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I asked.

"Matt, go get drinks" she ordered suddenly. He looked like he was about to protest but I saw her jab his leg hard, so he got up, threw her a dark look and moved towards the bar. Layla turned back to me. "Is it your time of the month?" she asked. I blinked rapidly.

"No" I said, quickly. It wasn't, why would she ask that?

"Pretty weird mood swing there Tonks, that's not like you. One minute all happy then the next you jump down his throat" she shrugged, "maybe it's because I haven't seen you in a while".

"Maybe" I said, as Matt came back with three butter beers. I took mine from him and sipped it as I looked at the menu. Chicken risotto… mmm, that sounded quite good. The waiter came over to our table and while Matt and Layla both ordered spaghetti and meatballs, I ordered chicken risotto and another round of butter beers.

"Pushing the boat out, are we, Tonks?" chuckled Matt.

"Something like that" I agreed, smiling. "So, what's it like in America?"

"Oh my God, it is amazing. You need to come over and see our apartment in New York Tonks, it takes up an entire floor and has huge windows where you can see the whole of New York out of. At night it's beautiful. And the shopping, so many shops, so many cute clothes…" Layla said, hardly drawing breathe. She continued to talk about shops, clothes and all the bars she went to with Matt. The Nightlife was apparently amazing, and something I must experience.

"I'd love to" I said, sighing, "but, with everything going on over here, I'm not going to abandon my family or Remus".

"You don't have to, just come for a visit" said Layla, excitedly.

"Yeah, yeah I'd like that. You wouldn't mind if Remus came?" I asked.

"Course not, give me some company away from you two" said Matt, laughing. Layla slapped him upside the head for his comment, and I laughed heartily which butter beer shoot up my nose. I spluttered into a napkin as Layla giggled.

"When things are settled here, I'll come over" I said.

"Promise?" asked Layla.

"Promise"

The food soon arrived at our table. Matt and Layla's were put down first, and then mine was placed in front of me. I inhaled deeply, and found that my insides churned unpleasantly. The smell of the chicken made me gag, and bile rose in my throat. I couldn't touch it. I couldn't even look at it. I pushed it away from me, whilst picking up a napkin and holding it to my mouth.

"That is foul" I spat out, putting my hand up to signal the waiter. As he came back over, I saw Matt and Layla shoot each other confused glances. I wondered vaguely why this was; surely they could smell how bad it was too.

"Is something wrong, Madam?" asked the Waiter, politely.

"Yes, this food is wrong. It smells awful, and it's making me feel ill. Could you take it away, please?" I said, feeling thoroughly annoyed.

"Tonks, there's nothing wrong with it, it smells fine" said Layla, attentively.

"Then why is it making me gag?" I snapped, glaring at her.

"I don't know" she said, frowning at me.

"Can you just take it away?" I asked, turning to the waiter with the same glare.

"Of course Madam. Can I get you something else in replacement?" he asked, politely, even though I could see in his expression that he thought I was nuts. This did not help my rising temper.

"The same as them" I said, perhaps a little harshly but he was not helping my temper. He quickly took the plate away and I glared at Matt and Layla, who seemed to agree with the waiter that I had gone nuts. "What?"

"Nothing" said Layla, hesitantly. "Just, you're acting a bit strange"

I sighed. "Sorry. I guess I'm just stressed or something" I answered, feeling slightly ashamed, so when the Waiter turned up I thanked him properly and apologised profusely. Layla and Matt looked slightly happier, and the rest of the meal was spent reminiscing on our Hogwarts days, and the time before we saw the Ministry as a corrupt establishment.

Unfortunately, time made fools of us and by the time we said goodbye it was very late. We were standing in the street outside the restaurant, where Layla was in floods of tears, hugging me tightly.

"Oh Merlin, I'm going to miss you" she cried, in my ear.

"I'll miss you too" I whispered. "But we'll see each other soon, I'm sure"

"Yeah Layla, we'll see Tonks again. It's not the end of the world, Love" said Matt, easing Layla's grip on me so that I could breathe again. "It's been good to see you Tonks, and incidentally, can we still call you Tonks? Considering that you're a Lupin now?"

"I don't know, never really thought about it like that" I said, thinking. "Call me Dora then"

Matt laughed. "Goodbye _Dora, _you have to come over to see us soon"

"Yes, really soon" implored Layla.

"As soon as this war is over, I'll come and see you. I promise" I said, hugging Layla again.

"Take care Friend, and if you ever need us…" Layla started.

"I know". We all smiled, and hugged each other again, before I saw them a little way down the Alley. They turned from me and waved, as Layla grabbed Matt's arm and they apparated. My friends were gone.

* * *

Early Sunday morning I woke up suddenly, as if electrocuted, and ripped the covers off me before running to the bathroom without really realising why. It was like my mind was driving me, as I raced the toilet and promptly threw up. This was not good, I thought as I began to get my awareness back. It was driving me mad now. My body was driving me mad. It seemed to be all over the place at the moment.

I jumped up from the floor and went to the sink. I snatched up the cup that had been placed on the side and filled it with water, before swigging the water in my mouth to wash out the taste. That meal obviously hadn't been good, if I was still being sick. I sighed heartily. Something was very strange. Something was different, maybe. I wasn't sure…

"Nymphadora" whispered a tired voice. I turned my head to the door and saw Remus standing there, his hair all messy and his dressing gown wrapped loosely around him.

"Go back to bed sweetheart, I'm sorry I woke you" I whispered, turning back to the mirror.

"I'm fine. My concern is for you" he whispered, coming forward and brushing my messy hair away from my face.

"I'm fine, seriously" I whispered back, smiled half-heartedly. It was perfectly true, I was sick yes, but I never felt that way for long.

"Dora…"

"I'm ok; it's probably just something I ate. Don't worry about me" I said, stopping him. "Let's just go back to bed, yeah?"

"If you're sure…" he said, sounding anything but it himself. I chose to ignore this. There was nothing wrong with me, I was perfectly fine. I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back towards the bedroom.

Several hours later I was up and dressed, drinking coffee in the kitchen and slinging aside this morning's Daily Prophet. Remus came into the kitchen quietly, and stood at the door, scrutinizing me.

"What?"

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm fine" I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"That's twice in a row now Dora, I'm getting worried. Maybe you should see a healer?" he suggested, warily. He seemed to be scared of me, like I was going to bite his head off.

"Remus, I'm fine, stop fussing" I laughed. "Do I look ill to you?"

He looked me up and down, before frowning. "No you don't. In fact, you look beautiful" he smiled, making my cheeks flood with heat. "But maybe…"

"No Remus, I'm fine. I'm going to work now, I'll see you tonight" I said, walking forward and putting my arms around his neck, so that I could kiss him soundly, cutting off any further arguments.

* * *

"I remember when Arthur and I got married, fresh out of Hogwarts. Walking down the aisle; pledging to spend the rest of our lives together. Happiest day of my life" said Molly, happily. It was Monday evening and I was at the Burrow, waiting for Remus to get back with Arthur.

"Yeah" I said, twisting my wedding band on my finger happily. "Until you went and popped out this Muppet, eh?" I said, cheekily, leaning forward and kicking the chair that Bill was sitting on. He was reading the daily Prophet at the table. Molly and Fleur were cooking dinner and I sat comfortably on the side, watching them. They'd refused my offer of help, and quite frankly, I didn't blame them.

"That's not a bad thing" he said, indignantly.

"No, it's definitely not" Fleur trilled, coming over to kiss Bill on the cheek.

Molly laughed. "I always wanted a big family, so I was delighted when I fell pregnant with Bill. Having all my children, the bond of mother and child, there's nothing quite like it" she sighed.

"Sounds nice" I said, smiling. She smiled back at me.

"So dear, what about you?" she asked. I was taken aback, surely she didn't mean.

"Me? What about me?" I spluttered.

"Don't you want children, Tonks?" asked Bill, gazing up at me with a smirk on his face. I grabbed the dish cloth from beside me and threw it at him.

"I never really thought about it. What with the war going on and my occupation… I don't think it's really an option" I shrugged, suppressing a sigh. Truth was I would love a child. But it just didn't seem possible at the present time, so I hadn't given it any thought.

Just then an owl arrived at the Burrow window. I watched as Molly opened the window and it flew in… and landed on my knee. I blinked rapidly at the large, majestic owl whose claws were cutting into the flesh of my knee. I held out his leg and I untied the scroll there. As soon as it was free of its burden, it flew onto my shoulder. I wondered vaguely whether the owl wanted to read the letter as well, as I read the letter.

_Tonks, this is Barnaby. He's my owl, so be nice to him. I have to call you in, we have work to do! I know, I know, it's your night off but this is something I don't want to do alone. Please meet me at the Ministry entrance. Sorry to interrupt your evening. Proudfoot_

I sighed, heavily. "I've been called into work, I'm sorry I can't stay. Molly, can you pass Remus a message for me?"

"Of course dear" Molly said, smiling kindly to me. "Though I must say, they work you too hard at that Ministry".

"Yeah, from what Remus says, he's hardly seen you" quipped Bill.

"It's very busy at the moment" I sighed. "Molly, please tell Remus that'll I'll be home late tonight, and not to wait up".

"Of course" she said, he smile wavering. I jumped down from the side and made my way out of the house, without looking back. It was true, I hadn't seen much of Remus over the last couple of days, but what Bill said scared me. Perhaps he was more upset than he let on. I resolved to take tomorrow off and spend it with him, before apparating to meet Proudfoot.

The Dark Mark was set over the house, casting an eerie green glow like a shadow, upon it. Proudfoot and I looked at each other before entering the house carefully. Through the front door we entered straight into a lounge, where three bodies were lying open mouthed and open eyed. I was prepared this time and so moved over to the bodies.

The man and woman had to be late thirties and the little girl between them could only be around eight or nine. There was a note pinned to her nightdress. I kneeled on the floor and read it out loud.

"_Better luck next time". _I sighed, and continued to look at the bodies, feeling pity well up inside of me. As I closed the Muggle's eyes, I noticed something else. There was not a single mark on them. I frowned, this was peculiar.

"Jacob, the Muggle killings last week were more brutal than this" I stated clearly.

"And?" he answered with a question, whilst moving his wand in a strange way, muttering under his breath. I raised my eyebrows at him. "I'm testing for magical use, to learn the spells used on them, so I can report it" he explained.

"Okay. They've definitely had the killing curse used upon them but something else is odd. I don't think this was done randomly, I think it was targeted" I said, peering at the bodies again, laying them flat and twisting their limbs, checking for marks. Again, nothing.

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking confused. I stared hard at him, willing him to see it as I did.

"Think about all the Muggle murder cases we've had, many of them were gruesome, and downright nasty. But a few, like this one, were perfectly clean" I said, "maybe they knew something" I muttered.

"Maybe. The Cruciatus curse was definitely used, but I'd say it was only used on one of them. I suppose that's good, they didn't all suffer, at least".

"Unless it was their daughter, and I'm betting it was. All three would be in pain that way, and if they knew something, it might have made them talk. In fact, I'm sure they did" I said, standing up again.

"Hmm yes, I see your point. Muggles don't know about magic, they were probably scared-"

"For their daughter" I said, finishing his sentence though I knew that wasn't what he was going to say. "Their daughter was in pain, and no parent wants to see their child in pain like that. I think it very likely that they told them everything they could so the Deatheaters would stop. Also, they only killed them and they could have had it a lot worse" I frowned, my heart aching.

"There are a lot worse things in life than death" Proudfoot whispered, sadly.

"Come on, let's clear up here. You handle the bodies whilst I clear the Dark Mark".

"Fair enough"

"I want to look into this though. I want to know who they are and if they have any connection to our world" I said, "and thanks".

"No problem, it's nice to have someone else lead for a change. You're a good Auror Tonks, I hope you know that" he smiled, sadly. I returned it equally but didn't reply. I walked back outside to vanish the Dark Mark. I felt a great deal of sadness wash over me but pushed it away. Now was not the time for emotions, now was the time to do my job.

I returned home to our cosy flat at Midnight, feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. When I walked into the flat, the lamp was on in the living room, casting a warm glow over Remus who was sitting on the sofa. He was watching me carefully as I came through the door, and looked very tired. I closed the door behind me and turned back to him, saying the first thing that came into my head.

"Sometimes, I really hate my job".

In one swift movement, he crossed the living room and his arms were around me. I wrapped myself around him, and he did the same as we moved backwards and sank into the sofa cushions. I pulled myself onto his lap and curled up there, burying my face in his neck.

"I miss you" he whispered, and I had no doubt that Molly or someone had told him what Bill had told me.

"I miss you too" I whispered back, "I'm sorry".

"It's not your fault" he whispered.

"I'm taking tomorrow off, no matter what the Ministry have to say about it. I want to spend time with my husband".

"I love you, but you don't have to do that for me" he whispered, kissing me on the forehead. I smiled, and pulled away, looking up into his tired face.

"I'm not. I'm doing it for us" I whispered, kissing him softly on the lips. "I love you".

* * *

It was Wednesday morning, and despite being sick very early this morning (I had hid this fact from Remus, he was in a deep sleep that morning and I didn't want him to fuss) everything was going rather well. The sun was shining into the flat, making it warm and light and pleasant. Remus was still asleep, but I was standing in the kitchen with a mug of tea and a plate of toast, waiting for the Daily Prophet. I had already informed Proudfoot I would not be in today, and he had written back saying it was ok and that Savage would cover for me.

Just as I took a swig of tea, the Daily prophet came tied to a particularly grumpy postal owl. I took the Paper, paid him and offered him some tea. He dipped his beak in it, hooted feebly, and flew off again. I had not known postal owls to get tired, but this one certainly looked it. Taking the Daily prophet and my things, I went into the Living room, reading the date at the top of the Paper. **Wednesday, 23****rd**** July.**

That was odd. I hadn't really thought about it, what with everything else going on, but it flew back to me now. The small calendar I left lying flat on the windowsill told me the same thing as I picked it up. I was three days late. But normally, I was as regular as clockwork. So why was I late? Perhaps all the stress that I've had to deal with of late has caused it. But I've been stressed before, and this never happened. I was worried, very worried, and I knew there was something more. In the back of my mind, it was like something was there, something knew, trying to push through the barriers to make its presence known. I was sure it must be an obvious answer, because obvious answers are harder to spot. I put down the calendar and frowned.

"Good morning" Remus said, from behind me. I turned around, and with my mind still full of worry, I beamed a little too brightly at him.

"Good Morning" I greeted. "Prophet's here. And feel free to nick my toast, I don't fancy it anymore".

"Thank you" he said, sitting down on the sofa. He patted the space beside him with one hand while reaching for the Prophet with the other. "Join me?"

I walked over and sank into the cushions next to him. I tucked my feet under my bum and leaned against the back of the sofa on my side, watching him unroll the Prophet. He sighed sadly at the front page and shook his head, before handing me the Prophet. I read a small article at the bottom of the page, announcing Charity Burbage's resignation from Hogwarts.

"Resigned…"

"Do you believe it?" asked Remus, quickly, before taking a bite of toast.

"Do you expect me too?" I asked back, raising an eyebrow as I opened the paper fully, carefully scanning the first page.

"No, I didn't" he said, picking up another piece of toast and holding it towards me. I looked at it, to him and back again, before biting into it and tearing off a piece.

"What do you think has happened to her? Really?" I asked, after swallowing my toast.

"I don't know, and I don't like to think about it. If the Deatheaters got her…" Remus answered.

"Don't" I said, hastily. "Don't say anymore. It's too horrible to think about"

He reached over and rubbed my leg. "Sorry".

"Don't apologise, it's not your fault" I smiled. "Just thinking about it" I sighed, "she was so nice, it's just awful…"

"I know Love" he whispered. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, before passing him the paper. "A couple more Dementor attacks in Leeds, and a Muggle family murdered up in Nottingham…"

"I'm aware" I whispered, Remus looked at me curiously. "That's where I was last night. We reported it, and the Prophet got told". I was pulled over to snuggle with Remus, who kissed my hair and wrapped his arms around me.

The rest of the morning was spent in each other's company, Remus reading the Prophet to me as I lounged against him. I loved the sound of his voice, but the Prophet became too dark as so Remus brought out one of his books. His warmth and his soft, soothing voice lulled me to sleep after a while, and I woke up early afternoon, still lying against Remus, who was lying down on the sofa. He was awake, and looked up at me as I woke up, smiling.

We spent the afternoon just enjoying each other's company, before going to the Weasley's for supper. Molly had invited us round; in fact, she invited us round every night. I was starting to believe that she lived to cook for people, or she seemed to love doing it. After supper though, me and Remus sat in the Weasley's living room playing chess, refereed by Ginny and Bill.

It was not going well, Remus had nearly all his chessmen left, but I only had half (and decreasing), and my chessmen were angry with me.

"Don't move me there, can't you see his queen with crush me. Send him there, we can afford to lose him" the rook shouted at me.

"If you keep telling me what to do, I'll send you there on purpose" I snarled, moving the pawn he had suggested instead.

"You really aren't good at this, are you?" Bill laughed.

"No. But neither are my parents, so I probably get my chess skills failure from them" I explained, as Remus knocked another one of my chess pieces of the board.

"Whereas I was taught by Sirius, and he was the best in Gryffindor tower… in our time" said Remus.

"Back when dinosaurs roamed the land" said Ginny, cheekily. Bill laughed, and I hastily covered up my laugh by coughing violently. He looked at me, giving me a look that clearly said 'I know you were laughing, you will pay later'. I giggled again, and he smirked.

"Stop with the silent communication" Bill groaned.

"You and Fleur do it enough" I said, smiling widely, before turning back to Remus. "Sorry Baby, but it was funny" he looked sternly at me. "Love you?"

"Love you too" he smirked, "Checkmate"

I gasped "You cheeky git". He winked.

* * *

On Thursday I was back at work, walking alongside Mark down the corridor that leads to the Auror Headquarters. But I was not in good shape. My mind was racing so fast, making so many connections that I had pushed away yesterday. And Mark was talking to me, with his concerned voice, but I could barely hear him. It was as though his voice had been badly muted, so that only a little sound came through.

"Tonks, you don't look well" I heard him say. My head span. I could feel sweat drip down my neck and my body heat rapidly. My insides churned unpleasantly, and I knew something was terribly wrong. I was scared out of my mind, because I knew what it was. I finally understood what it must be…

"Mark, I don't feel good" I heard myself say, "Can you take me to St. Mungos?" I asked. He nodded and took my arm, steering my towards the floo area of the atrium. As soon as we arrived at St. Mungos, I was taken to a ward by a Mediwitch who told me to lie on a bed while she examined me.

"Are you feeling faint anymore? Dizzy? Anxious?" she asked, running her wand over me, frowning.

"No, I'm feeling better" I said.

"Yes, well, these symptoms are to be expected of a woman in your condition. But I'm sure you'll be pleased to know, everything is perfectly fine. I suspect you have been working too hard, perhaps you have no eaten enough or it may have something to do with the heat. It's very hard to tell, but it's normal to feel faint" she explained kindly, though my mind ran in circles.

"Sorry, but, I don't understand. What condition am I in?" I asked, hesitantly. She looked at me stunned.

"Oh gracious me, how unprofessional. I merely assumed. I'm terribly sorry" she whispered, coming to sit on the edge of my bed. "Mrs Lupin, you are – pregnant" she said, simply. I gaped at her. I had suspected, a little, but never really thought…

But everything suddenly made sense. As soon as the words had been uttered, every connection I had made fit into this one solution. I was four days late, throwing up, going off food at the restaurant…

"It's natural to be surprised dear" said the Mediwitch, kindly.

"Everything fits" I whispered.

"Ah yes, I find that things start to add up when a clear definition is given. There is no doubt that you are pregnant. About two weeks, but still, sometimes symptoms show up quickly and disappear just as rapidly".

"Well, I've been throwing up a bit, but I don't always feel dizzy or anything" I answered. My mind was still whirling. Me - pregnant?

"And you look simply radiant" smiled the healer.

"Is it normal, all this" I asked, not really sure what I was indicating. I was pregnant, but she could only make an estimate on how long it had been. I wasn't sure… but it happened so suddenly… and my period was late but I could have been pregnant a long time before hand. My mind was so confused.

"It's perfectly normal dear, there's nothing to worry about. You are in perfect health; I just suggest that you take it easy from now on. Or at least, try your best too" she smiled, sadly. I knew what she was referring too. In these troubled, dangerous times it was very hard to take anything easy. Especially as an Auror. And a member of the Order of the Phoenix. And we would be picking up Harry in two days. I wanted to scream, but I didn't know what to do for the best. I didn't know whether to tell, or keep quiet, and I wasn't sure how Remus would take it. Heck, I couldn't even understand how I was taking it.

But one thing was for sure. This complicated everything.

I was sat in my cubicle the next day, twiddling my thumbs and biting my lip. Remus knew nothing, because I hadn't told him. I had only just come to terms with it myself. I was going to have a baby. Our baby. My baby. And I was terrified. I had hardly ever dared to let myself imagine being a mother, but now it was a reality. I started questioning everything in my head while finding responses for each. It was like some bizarre quiz show was playing in my head, and I had to find the right answer no matter what.

Would I be a good mum? Yes, I believed I would. Or at least, I would try to be.

What will Remus say, when I tell him? I don't know if he'll be happy or not, he's so sensitive about things, and this will probably make him freak out. I don't want that, but I don't want to lie to him either.

So do I tell him? Yes, of course.

When? Soon.

How soon? This is getting really weird.

What about the move tomorrow? Is it safe? Mad-eye says it is, and I can protect myself well enough. I can put enchantments around myself to help me. Besides, the plan can't be changed now, everything is set. I will just have to be careful. I will just have to be careful. That's all. And I will have to tell Remus. There's a false trail leaks, security everywhere, I know tons of spells, and everything is prepared. I will be fine. I will be fine. I will be fine.

"Dora?" asked Remus. We were sitting at home on the sofa, my stew was in front of me, but I hadn't touched it. I had been in such deep thought all day that I barely registered anything.

"Hmm?"

"You haven't touched your stew, and you seem very distracted" he said, looking worried. "What is wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong" I whispered, not looking at him.

"Dora"

I sighed and got up, pacing the living room on the other side of the coffee table, in thought. I had to tell him now, he had to know. But he would try and stop me from going tomorrow. Well, I would just have to persuade him then.

"Remus, I'm – I'm pregnant" I said, with more confidence than I really felt. I heard a clatter of a spoon, and watched as Remus's shocked eyes met mine. And then the shock left, and was replaced by nothingness.

"How do you know?" he whispered, his voice void of emotion.

"I went to St. Mungos yesterday, and they told me. It explains everything that has been happening" I whispered. Then there was silence. His face was blank, and I felt that I would prefer shock, or anger, or anything other than nothing. "Remus, please say something"

*I don't know what to say, I'm surprised" he said, calmly. "Pregnant…"

"It's alright, you know? I know I was shocked at first but, don' you think it'd be nice? To have a family of our own?" I whispered, hesitantly.

"Yes. Nice" he repeated. And then he snapped out of some sort of trance and looked me square in the eye. "You're not going tomorrow"

"I am"

"No Nymphadora, you can't go"

"Make me" I said, stubbornly. He sighed. "I will be fine, the plan is good Remus. I can protect myself. And besides, it's too late to change everything now, everything's set. I'm an Auror, I can look after myself, and our baby" I said, defiantly.

"Nymphadora, think about it please, there is risk…

"There was risk before as well" I said. "Remus, I can protect myself and the child. Nothing bad will happen, the Deatheaters don't know when we're taking Harry. And I know a spell to tell me whether or not the baby is okay. I am going tomorrow. Everything will be fine, trust me" I said, coming over and kneeling on the floor in front of him.

"Trust me" I implored. He took my face in his hands and kissed me deeply, both surprising and delighting me.

"I trust you, but I still wish you would reconsider"

"My mind is made up" I said, clearly. "I'm sorry".

"No Love, it is I who is sorry" he whispered before getting up. That night we slept together in the same bed, but I did not feel together at all. Still, it could have gone worse. We had resolved to talk more about it after tomorrow.

I drifted into an uneasy sleep. Perhaps tomorrow things would seem better.

**Ok, need some explanations here. 1) I made Remus know before they brought Harry to the burrow because there is a part where Remus 'sounds angry' at Tonks when she arrives late to the burrow. I was thinking about this and realised that perhaps Remus already knew about the baby, and had been persuaded by Tonks to let her come, and so was angry because he was scared. This seemed the only reasonable explanation as to why he sounded angry with her. Also, if Remus looked unhappy when they went to pick up Harry, Harry may not have picked up on it because of everything else that was going on. Though I do not believe Remus was too un-happy at this time, but was leaning towards it gradually so to speak. 2) This chapter was to illustrate some of the symptoms and the week leading up to getting Harry, and I hope I did this ok. It's really hard to fit all this in, especially since the wedding was so late, but that wasn't my fault. If you read 'the dark lord ascending' in DH you will see that it sets place the week before Harry's departure and Voldemort says that earlier that week Tonks and Remus married so… I was following canon. Hope that clears everything up.**


	62. The Flight

**For whoever wanted to know, I am following the book not the film. I believe firmly that the books are better and more of a challenge to follow. Hope that clears up that. And thanks for all your reviews; sorry that I couldn't reply but Fan Fiction is being weird and saying it's an out-dated url or something… anyone else had that? P.s. there is an apology at the bottom, please read it (p.p.s. this is very long!)**

**Quick recap: Tonks has gone through the motions and has found out she is pregnant. She told Remus and he didn't take it too well. This is the morning after.**

The Flight

When I woke up the next morning, I didn't feel sick at all, thank God. I sat up in bed as sunlight streamed through the open curtains. The bed next to me was empty, Remus was not there. I puzzled for a minute, but before I could get too worked up, Remus entered the bedroom, fully dressed and holding a breakfast tray.

"Good morning, Love" he greeted, walking over to the bed and passing me the breakfast tray. I took it from him and rested it on the quilt on top of my legs. He came and sat down next to me, smiling.

"What's all this in aid of?" I asked, he frowned slightly.

"I'm sorry, about how I reacted last night. Or rather, how I didn't react. I regret it very much" he whispered, looking sad. I breathed a sigh of relief, and pushed the food tray aside, so I could hug him.

"Don't feel bad, you were just in shock… you just need time to get used to the idea" I said, and then finished in my head, _goodness knows I do. _He smiled, and sat down on the bed beside me, picking up the Prophet that had been put on the tray. I started eating my bacon slowly, feeling content as Remus rustled the paper beside me.

"I don't know why we bother" I muttered, casting the Prophet a disgusted look before turning back to my food. Remus looked up, apparently startled.

"Pardon?"

"The Prophet" I said, swallowing my bacon. "It's all doom and gloom, really depressing"

"Yes, but occasionally it can be enlightening" he said, turning back to the paper and reading.

"Want some toast?" I asked, holding out my plate. He smiled thanks and took a piece. I leaned back against the head board and munched on the leftover toast. I heard him turn over the page and choke violently. I jumped and patted his back as he spluttered, trying not to laugh. Laughing at your choking husband is probably not a good thing to do.

"Are you okay?"

"No" he said, quickly, "thanks for that. No, I'm not. I've just seen…" he trailed off, looking furious. He was staring at his paper in horror and fury, so much so that I snatched it away to look at the page myself. And what I saw made me just as furious as Remus.

_DUMBLEDORE – THE TRUTH AT LAST?_

_Coming next week, the shocking story of the flawed genius considered by many to be the greatest wizard of his generation. Striping away the popular image of serene, silver-bearded wisdom, Rita Skeeter reveals the disturbed childhood, the lawless youth, the life-long feuds, and the guilty secrets that Dumbledore carried to his grave, WHY was the man tipped to be the Minister of Magic content to remain a mere headmaster? WHAT was the real purpose of the secret organization known as the Order of the Phoenix? HOW did Dumbledore really meet his end?_

_The answers to these and many more questions are explored in the explosive new biography, The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore, by Rita Skeeter, Exclusively interviewed by __Berry Braithwaite._

And there on the page was a picture of Rita Skeeter, trying to smile and wiggling her fingers up at me in a way that made me want to punch something. I hadn't even read the Article, and I was already frustrated.

"What was the real purpose of the secret organisation known as the Order of the Phoenix?" I snarled. "I can tell you more truth than she can".

"Read the article out, please" Remus said.

"But surely, you don't want to read about that cow? I remember her, when she was sniffing around our department several years ago. She's awful; she takes the tiniest thing and spins it into a massive scandal. It's bound to be a bunch of lies" I said.

"I know; I just want to hear what it says. Please" he asked. I sighed, what harm could it do.

"Fine" I muttered, clearing my throat.

"_**In person, Rita Skeeter is much warmer and softer than her famously ferocious quill-portraits might suggest. **__**Greeting me in the hallway of her cosy home, she leads me straight into the kitchen for a cup of tea, a slice of pound cake and, it goes without saying, a steaming vat of freshest gossip.**_

_**"Well, of course, Dumbledore is a biographer's dream," says Skeeter. "Such a long, full life. I'm sure my book will be the first of very, very many.**_

_**"Skeeter was certainly quick off the mark. Her nine-hundred-page book was completed in a mere four weeks after Dumbledore's mysterious death in June. I ask her how she managed this superfast feat.**_

_**"Oh, when you've been a journalist as long as I have, working to a deadline is second nature. I knew that the Wizarding world was clamouring for the full story and I wanted to be the first to meet that need."**_

_**I mention the recent, widely publicized remarks of Elphias Doge, Special Advisor to the Wizengamot and longstanding friend of Albus Dumbledore's, that "Skeeter's book contains less fact than a Chocolate Frog card."**_

_**Skeeter throws back her head and laughs.**_

_**"Darling Dodgy! I remember interviewing him a few years back about merpeople rights, bless him. Completely gaga, seemed to think we were sitting at the bottom of Lake Windermere, kept telling me to watch out for trout."**_

_**And yet Elphias Doge's accusations of inaccuracy have been echoed in many places. Does Skeeter really feel that four short weeks have been enough to gain a full picture of Dumbledore's long and extraordinary life?**_

_**"Oh, my dear," beams Skeeter, rapping me affectionately across the knuckles, "you know as well as I do how much information can be generated by a fat bag of Galleons, a refusal to hear the word 'no,' and a nice sharp Quick-Quotes Quill! People were queuing to dish the dirt on Dumbledore anyway. Not everyone thought he was so wonderful, you know – he trod on an awful lot of important toes. **_

_**But old Dodgy Doge can get off his high hippogriff, because I've had access to a source most journalists would swap their wands for, one who has never spoken in public before and who was close to Dumbledore during the most turbulent and disturbing phase of his youth."**_

_**The advance publicity for Skeeter's biography has certainly suggested that there will be shocks in store for those who believe Dumbledore to have led a blameless life.**_

_**What were the biggest surprises she uncovered, I ask?**_

_**"Now, come off it. Betty, I'm not giving away all the highlights before anybody's bought the book!" laughs Skeeter. "But I can promise that anybody who still thinks Dumbledore was white as his beard is in for a rude awakening! Let's just say that nobody hearing him rage against You-Know-Who would have dreamed that he dabbled in the Dark Arts himself in his youth!**_

_**And for a wizard who spent his later years pleading for tolerance, he wasn't exactly broad-minded when he was younger! Yes, Albus Dumbledore had an extremely murky past, not to mention that very fishy family, which he worked so hard to keep hushed up."**_

_**I ask whether Skeeter is referring to Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth, whose conviction by the Wizengamot for misuse of magic caused a minor scandal fifteen years ago.**_

_**"Oh, Aberforth is just the tip of the dung heap," laughs Skeeter. "No, no, I'm talking about much worse than a brother with a fondness for fiddling about with goats, worse even than the Muggle-maiming father – Dumbledore couldn't keep either of them quiet anyway, they were both charged by the Wizengamot. No, it's the mother and the sister that intrigued me, and a little digging uncovered a positive nest of nastiness – but, as I say, you'll have to wait for chapters nine to twelve for full details. All I can say now is, it's no wonder Dumbledore never talked about how his nose got broken."**_

_**Family skeletons notwithstanding, does Skeeter deny the brilliance that led to Dumbledore's many magical discoveries?**_

_**"He had brains," she concedes, "although many now question whether he could really take full credit for all of his supposed achievements. As I reveal in chapter sixteen, Ivor Dillonsby claims he had already discovered eight uses of dragon's blood when Dumbledore 'borrowed' his papers."**_

_**But the importance of some of Dumbledore's achievements cannot, I venture, be denied. What of his famous defeat of Grindelwald?**_

_**"Oh, now, I'm glad you mentioned Grindelwald," says Skeeter with such a tantalizing smile. "I'm afraid those who go dewy-eyed over Dumbledore's spectacular victory must brace themselves for a bombshell – or perhaps a Dungbomb. Very dirty business indeed. All I'll say is, don't be so sure that there really was a spectacular duel of legend. After they've read my book, people may be forced to conclude that Grindelwald simply conjured a white handkerchief from the end of his wand and came quietly!"**_

"I'm sorry, I can't read anymore, it's too stupid" I said, apologetically. He silently gestured for the paper, and read the rest himself. I had taken a look at the next few lines, and felt so disgusted that I couldn't read anymore. "Its rubbish Remus, all of it. 'Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore', what a joke" Remus still looked troubled though.

"Even if most of it is fabricated, fabrications have to be based on fact in some way" he answered, folding up the paper and tossing it aside.

"Not where she was concerned. Remus, you knew Dumbledore. Don't let that article question, or tarnish your memories of him. Everyone will be thinking the same thing, wondering whether to believe it. Please don't" I said, making him face me by putting my hand on his cheek and physically forcing his head towards me.

"You're right. It's all lies" he smiled, kissing me gently. "I'll read something else"

"Good" We sat in silence as he read the paper and I finished my breakfast. My mind turned away from the Article towards tonight. Mad-eye, Kingsley and Me had gone into great detail with the plan tonight. It was safe; it was good. We would collect Harry and everything would be fine. I looked sideways at Remus. He looked fine.

"Remus… Should we tell people about me, do you think, or should we wait?" I asked, timidly, patting my tummy. He looked across at me.

"Let's not tell anyone yet, because as you're so adamant that you still want to go tonight…"

"Of course I want too"

"Then people would likely flip out at the thought, especially Molly and, may I remind you, your mum" said Remus, carefully. "Heaven knows I am" he muttered under his breath. I chose to ignore this.

"I see what you mean, but it's not like I'm in danger. The plan is very clever, everything will be fine" I said, though I wondered vaguely whether I was reassuring him or myself. I shook it off; I was a professional, trained Auror. There was only the slightest chance of danger, and I was not worried.

"I know, but I still worry" he snapped, "am I not allowed to worry?"

"Of course you are" I said, startled. He stood up and paced the bedroom. "Remus, aren't you happy about this?" I whispered. Looking down at the bed sheets I felt suddenly scared. What if he didn't want this baby?

"I am" he said, "I am happy, I am just concerned for your safety"

"Why do you have to make me feel like a bad guy?" I snapped, suddenly. Mood swings came in handy sometimes. "Seriously Remus, I love you, but sometimes I wish you would trust me. I have prepared for this. I have not just jumped into it without thinking. I know there is a risk, but I want to do this. Please just stop nagging me". He looked at me, confused, and then he grinned.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll stop nagging. Your right, of course" he said, coming to sit back down. "I was being silly"

"You were" I smiled, and paused "can I tell Harry that we got married?"

"Yes" he said, smiling truly. "Of course, I wanted him there though"

"But he'll be happy for us anyway Remus, he loves you" I smiled.

"And what makes me happy…" he said, leaning over and kissing my lips firmly.

He didn't need to finish the sentence with words, but as he pulled away, I couldn't help but ask "Do I make you happy, Remus?"

He tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. "Nymphadora Lupin, you make me very happy" he smiled.

That evening we were flying through the air, towards Privet drive to pick up Harry. The sky was no too dark just yet, but the stars were out. I felt weightless as I flew along with the others; Remus was flying beside me, glancing at me every so often and tapping my knee with his. I giggled a few times, and Mad-eye growled at me to "Stop giggling like a silly school girl". This only made me more determined to giggle, but even as he rolled his eyes and the others laughed, I saw Mad-eye's lips twitch. Not long after, he shouted at us to start the dissent, and we were diving slowly towards Harry's back garden.

As we landed our Disillusion charms lifted, as I dismounted from my broom, Harry came bursting out of the house, looking quite shocked. And it wasn't surprising, he didn't know about the change of plan… yet. I shouted "Hello" to him as everyone shouting greeting's too him. Hermione was hugging him and Ron clapped him on the back as Hagrid asked "All righ', Harry? Ready fer the off?"

"Definitely" Harry said, beaming around at us all. "But I wasn't expecting this many of you!" I bet you weren't.

"Change of plan" growled Mad-eye, who was holding up to bulging sacks as if trying to make Harry notice them without making it obvious. I tried not to roll my eyes, as I glanced at Remus, who was looking happy though you couldn't mistake the lines around his eyes. He hadn't been sleeping… "Let's get undercover before we talk you through it".

As Mad-eye led us towards the house, I turned to Remus "How'd you think he'll react?" I whispered.

"Well he's a lot like Lily, so he'll probably go nuts" said Remus, and I laughed.

"Mad-eye's a bit fidgety tonight" I sighed as we entered the house.

"Hard for him not to be" Remus smiled, as we walked over to one side. I jumped up onto the washing machine, and got comfortable as Remus stood beside me with only a little distance between us. Kingsley stood near us to, eyeing up the Muggle appliances while I tried not to giggle.

"Kingsley, I thought you were looking after the Muggle Prime Minister?" called Harry, across the room.

"He can get along without me for one night" said Kingsley. "You are more important".

I couldn't contain it any longer. "Harry, guess what?" I said, wriggling my left hand at him so he could clearly see my wedding ring.

"You got married" he yelped, looking from me to Remus.

"I'm sorry you couldn't be there, Harry, it was very quiet" said Remus, though I felt this was a bit of an understatement.

"That's brilliant, congrat-" but Mad-eye cut him off.

"All right, all right, we'll have time for a cosy catch-up later!" roared Mad-eye, and I shrank back a bit. Everyone fell silent. Mad-eye dropped the sacks at his feet and turned to Harry. "As Dedalus probably told you, we had to abandon Plan A. Pius Thicknese has gone over, which gives us a big problem. He's made it an imprisonable offence to connect this house to the Floo Network, place a Portkey here or Apparate in or out. All done in the name of your protection, to prevent You-Know-Who getting in at you. Absolutely pointless, seeing as your mother's charm does that already. What's he's really done is to stop you getting out of her safely.

"Second problem: you're under-age, which means you've still got the trace on you"

"I don't-"

"The Trace, the Trace" Mad-eye said, impatiently. "The charm that detects magical activity around under-seventeens', the way the Ministry finds out about under-age magic! If you or anyone around you, cast's a spell to get you out of here, Thicknese is going to know about it, and so will the Deatheaters.

"We can't wait for the Trace to break, because the moment you turn seventeen you'll lose all the protection your mother gave you. In short: Pius Thicknese thinks he's got you cornered good and proper". I could tell from Harry's face that he was silently agreeing, and when Mad-eye put it that way, it seemed very hard to find a loop hole. But we found one.

"So what are we going to do?"

"We're going to use the only means of transport left to us, the only ones the Trace can't detect, because we don't need to cast spells to use them: brooms, Thestrals and Hagrid's Motorbike. Now, your mother's charm will only break under two conditions: when you come of age, or-" Mad-eye gestured around the kitchen "you no longer call this place home. You and your aunt and uncle are going your separate ways tonight, in the full understanding that you're never going to live together again, correct?"

Harry nodded.

"So this time, when you leave, there'll be no going back, and the charm will break the moment you get outside its range. We're choosing to break it early, because the alternative is waiting for. We're choosing to break it early, because the alternative is waiting for You-Know-Who to come and seize you the moment you turn seventeen". Pleasant thought Mad-eye.

"The one thing we've got on our side is that You-Know-Who doesn't know we're moving you tonight. We've leaked a fake trail to the Ministry: they think you're not leaving until the thirtieth. However, this is You-Know-Who we're dealing with, so we can't just rely on him getting the date wrong; he's bound to have a couple of Deatheaters patrolling the skies in this general area, just in case. So, we've given a dozen different houses every protection we can throw at them. They all look like they could be the place we're going to hide you, they've all got some connection with the Order: my house, Kingsley's place, Molly's Aunt Muriel's – you get the idea".

Yeah" said Harry. As Mad-eye continued to talk, I could help but think sarcastically, _No Mad-eye, he really doesn't get the idea._

"You'll be flying to Tonks's parents'. Once you're within the boundaries of the protective enchantments we've put on their house, you'll be able to use a Portkey to The Burrow. Any questions?"

"Er – yes" said Harry. "Maybe they won't know which of the twelve secure houses I'm heading for at first, but won't it be sort of obvious once-" he did a quick head count "fourteen of us fly off towards Tonks's parents'?"

"Ah" said Mad-eye. "I forgot to mention the key point" _Course you did Mad-eye._ "Fourteen of us won't be flying to Tonks's parents'. There will be seven Harry Potters moving through the skies tonight, each of them with a companion, each pair heading for a different safe house". Mad-eye withdrew a flask of mud-like Poly Juice potion from inside his cloak. A look of comprehension fell upon Harry's face.

"No!" he said, loudly, his voice ringing through the kitchen. "No way!"

"I told them you'd take it like this" said Hermione with a hint of complacency. She had indeed told us this.

"If you think let six people risk their lives-!"

"-because it's the first time for all of us" said Ron.

"This is different, pretending to be me-"

"Well, none of us really fancy it, Harry" said Fred earnestly. "Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever". I stifled a smile behind my hand. Harry, however, did not smile.

"You can't do it if I don't co-operate, you need me to give you some hair".

"Well, that's our plan scuppered" said George. "Obviously there's no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you co-operate".

"Yeah, thirteen of us against one bloke who's not allowed to do use magic; we've got no chance" said Fred. As he said it, I realised that we couldn't do magic either because we were around Harry, but decided not to voice this piece of information. I had a feeling that it wouldn't help.

"Funny" said Harry. "Really amusing"

"If it has to come to force, then it will" growled Mad-eye. "Everyone here's over-age, Potter, and they're all prepared to take the risk". I saw Mundungus shrug and grimace at these words, and obviously Mad-eye had to because his magical eye swivelled to survey him out of the side of his head. I looked to Remus who was glaring angrily at Mundungus, and but a hand on his arm.

"Let's have no more arguments. Time's wearing on. I want a few of your hairs, boy, now".

"But this is mad, there's no need-"

"No need!" snarled Mad-eye. Uh-oh Harry, you've really annoyed him this time. "With You-Know-Who out there and half the Ministry on his side? Potter, if we're lucky, he'll have swallowed the fake bait and he'll be planning to ambush you on the thirtieth, but he'd have to be mad not to have a Death eater or two keeping an eye out, it's what I'd do. They might not be able to get at you or this house while your mother's charm still holds, but it's about to break and they know the rough position of the place. Our only choice is to use decoys. Even You-Know-Who can't split himself into seven".

"So, Potter – some of your hair, if you please" Harry glanced at Ron and Hermione for support, but they weren't saying anything. Ron was shrugging at Harry and Hermione was looking away. "Now!" barked Mad-eye. We all watched him as he grimaced, put his hand on top of his head, grabbed a hank of hair and pulled.

"Good" said Mad-eye, limping forwards as he pulled the stopper out of the flask of Potion. "Straight in here, if you please".

Harry dropped the hair into the mud-like liquid. I craned my neck slightly so that I could see when the hair made contact with the surface of the Potion, which began to froth and smoke and then, all at once, it turned clear, bright gold.

"Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry" said Hermione, before blushing brightly as Ron raised his eyebrows at her and Harry stared incredulously, "oh, you know what I mean – Goyle's potion looked like boogies". I felt she was digging herself a bigger hole and hid my smile behind my hand.

"Right then, fake Potters line up over here, please" said Mad-eye.

Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Fleur lined up in front of the kitchen sink,

"We're one short" said Remus.

"Here" said Hagrid gruffly, and he lifted Mundungus (who did not look happy) by the scruff of the neck and dropped him down beside Fleur, who wrinkled her nose pointedly and moved along to stand between Fred and George.

"I've toldjer, I'd sooner be the protector" whined Mundungus, for about the fifteenth time this week.

"Shut it" growled Mad-eye. "As I've already told you, you spineless worm, any Deatheaters we run into will be aiming to capture Potter, not kill him. Dumbledore always said You-Know-Who would want to finish Potter in person. It'll be the protectors who have got the most to worry about; the Deatheaters'll want to kill them".

As Mad-eye started pulling out a dozen egg cups from his cloak and handing them out, Remus glanced at me. I knew what he was thinking, so I looked away. Mad-eye began pouring a little Polyjuice potion into each egg cup. "Altogether then…"

All together they drank the potion, before gasping and grimacing. At once there features started to bubble and distort. Hermione, Fleur and Mundungus were shooting upwards whereas the Twins and Ron were shrinking rapidly. Mad-eye, quite unconcerned, was now loosening the ties on the large sacks which contained the extra clothes, and by the time he had done so, there were seven Harry Potters standing in the kitchen.

Fred and George turned to each other and said together, "Wow – we're identical".

"I dunno, though, I think I'm still better looking" said Fred, examining his reflection in the kettle.

"Bah" said Fleur suddenly. She was checking herself in the microwave door. "Bill, don't look at me - I'm 'ideous" I started to giggle at her reaction and she shot me daggers. By the end of it, I was clutching my stomach with silent laughter.

"Those whose clothes are a bit roomy, I've got smaller here" said Mad-eye, "and vice-versa. Don't forget the glasses, there's six pairs in the side pocket. And when you're dressed, there's luggage in the other sack".

As all six Harry's stripped off, I looked away out of the window into the dark night. What was waiting for us out there?

"I knew Ginny was lying about that tattoo" I heard Ron say.

"Harry, you eyesight really is awful" said Hermione, as she put on glasses.

I turned my head back to the scene before me. Once everyone dressed, the fake Harrys took rucksacks and owl cages, each containing a stuffed snowy owl, from the second sack.

"Good" said Mad-eye. "The pairs will be as follows: Mundungus will be travelling with me, by broom –"

"Why'm I with you?" grunted the Harry nearest the back door.

_Because you're the one who needs watching._ "Because you're the one who needs watching" growled Mad-eye. "Arthur and Fred-"

"I'm George" said the twin at whom Mad-eye was pointing. "Can't you even tell us apart when we're Harry?" I sensed a joke coming on here, and it would do nothing to improve Mad-eye's nerves. And yes, I knew he was nervous, probably one of the only ones who did, having discussed it so often with him.

"Sorry, George-"

"Enough messing around!" snarled Mad-eye. _See!_ "The other one – George or Fred or whoever you are – you're with Remus. Miss Delacour-"

"I'm taking Fleur on Thestral" Bill cut in. "She's not that fond of brooms". And don't we know it. A few weeks ago, Bill, Ginny, the Twins and I had tried to play quidditch with Fleur...let's just say, it hadn't ended well…

"Miss Granger with Kingsley, again by Thestral". Hermione looked very relieved at this.

"Which leaves you with me, Ron! I said, brightly, waving at him and knocking over a mug tree. _Whoops!_ I saw Remus put his face down, and his shoulders shaking which meant he was laughing at me.

"An' you're with me, Harry. That all righ'?" said Hagrid, looking a little anxious. "We'll be on the bike, brooms and Thestrals can't take me weight, see. Not a lot o' room on the seat with me on it, though, so you'll be in the sidecar"

"That's great" said Harry, not sounding entirely truthful.

"We think the Death eaters will expect you to be on broom" explained Mad-eye, "Snape's had plenty of time to tell them everything about you he's never mentioned before, so if we do run into any Death eaters, we're betting they'll choose one of the Potters who look at home on a broomstick. All right then" he went on, tying up the sack with the fake Potters clothes in it and leading the way back to the door, "I make it three minutes until we're supposed to leave. No point locking the back door, it won't keep the Death eaters out when they come looking…come on…"

I jumped down off the washing machine as everyone started moving towards the back door and out into the garden. I went over to my broom and picked it up, smiling. "Don't let me down tonight, old girl" I whispered, as one of the Harrys (obviously Ron) came up to me.

"Hi" he said.

"Ron, don't be so glum, I'm clumsy on my feet but I know my way around _MY _broomstick and as an Auror…" I trailed off, significantly. He perked up a little.

"Yeah, err, sorry"

"No problem, I make lots of people nervous" I teased mounting my broom. "Get on".

"Is this it? Is this Sirius's bike?" I heard Harry ask.

"The very same" said Hagrid, beaming. "An' the last time you were on it, I could fit yeh in one hand!" I watched as Harry got into the sidecar looking thoroughly embarrassed then turned to look at Remus who was being talked at by George. I smiled slightly, and caught Remus's eye. He did a small double take before winking at me and turning away. As I did, I caught the end of Arthur's warning to Hagrid.

"- certainly only to be used in emergencies"

"All right then" said Mad-eye. "Everyone ready, please; I want us all to leave at exactly the same time or the whole point of the diversion's lost"

"Hold on tight, now, Ron" I said, looking out of the corner of my eye as he placed his hands on my waist. Was it just me, or was he throwing a guilty look at Remus?

"Good Luck, everyone" shouted Mad-eye. "See you all in about an hour at The Burrow. On the count of three. One…two…THREE!"

We were flying through the air, gaining speed and height. Ron was gripping my waist tight and I felt him lean to one side, as if looking down. I wanted to tell him that this was perhaps not a good idea, but before I could open my mouth we'd broken through a patch of clouds and we were surrounded. 20, 30 Deatheaters on brooms, covered in black cloaks and masks. Several people screamed or cried out; curses were shouted and burst of light lit up the sky. Before realising what I was doing, I accelerated fast towards them pulling my wand out of my t-shirt pocket as I did. I needed to get Ron to safety; we needed to get out of here.

"The others, what about the others?" shouted Ron frantically, over the noise. We were gaining speed, but there were at least six Deatheaters on our tail. A Jet of green light whooshed past my left ear.

"We have to get to safety; we've got to keep going".

"We've got to go back, we can't leave them" said Ron.

"They'll be doing the same as us, I want to go back too but we can't" I shouted as another jet of light was sent at us. Ron sent a spell back causing two Deatheaters to part. Ron mumbled agreement, before sending another hex at a Death eater. There were two behind, and two both sides.

I could no longer see the others, but kept flying as best I could. My wand was aimed on the Deatheaters beside me. "Stupefy!" I roared, and it hit him square in the chest, pushing him off his broom. However, two more had joined the chased. A green jet of light was sent at me from behind, barely missing me. I looked around as Ron aimed his wand at the Death eater.

"Stupefy!" he shouted, and hit the Death eater square between the eyes, knocking him off his broom. We saw him flying through the air and tumble down through the clouds.

"Well done" I squealed, before sending a hex at the Deatheaters beside me "Impedimenta!"

I kept flying best I could, but hexes kept hitting my broom, making it shake violently. It was very old after all. I was hit in the shoulder with the same hex twice, which stung painfully as I tried to move it. Ron was still throwing hexes at the Deatheaters, occasionally cursing as a hex or curse cut him. I raised my wand and cursed madly, soaring through the air away from them.

After a while we sent spells flying, feeling as if we were going to make it, though they started to fight even more viciously back. They obviously realised we weren't push overs. Then, out of nowhere, came a cackle that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I mentally chanted 'Shit!' as Ron fired more hexes of the back of the broom.

The killing curse came at me several times within just a few short seconds; I had to dodge fast so that neither Ron nor I got hit. I aimed my wand at my Dear auntie…

"Stupefy, stupefy!" I shouted, aimed at her, but she easily deflected them. I ground my teeth together and sent hex after hex at her, as our broom wobbled. I wasn't paying enough attention to the flying, and so gripped my broom securely in one hand, steered it up and pointed my wand behind me.

I don't know why I did it; and I would probably never know, but the moment I shouted it I knew it was right. "Incendio" Flames erupted from my wand and blasted full force behind me into the face of Rodolphus Lestrange, who screamed shrilly, clutching his face.

"Bloody hell!" shouted Ron, grinning. "Stupefy!"

Bellatrix was a mad woman. Killing curses shot at me from all over the place, and were close on target. I knew the reason she was targeting me, it was obvious. I was family, which of course, is unacceptable. Ron kept sending curse off the back of the broom as I bent low on it, encouraging it to go faster. We had been up in the air to long already, being chased had put me off course. I turned abruptly and flew straight. The Deatheaters chased us; jets of green light were shooting at me from Bellatrix's direction as she cackled madly.

"Stupefy" I shouted, point my wand at Bellatrix, who had suddenly pulled ahead, and was now right beside me. Ron's grip on my waist was painful, but I didn't blame him. She had come in close and was smiling wickedly as she dodged the curse, and raised her wand to strike…

Then she disappeared. My broom was diving towards the ground and I hadn't the energy to stop it. Out of the clouds we came lower and saw a large house standing in the clearing. I dived lower until we were almost touching the floor, before pulling the broom up slightly and skidding to a stop. As soon as our feet touched the ground of Muriel's front garden, both Ron and I fell off the broom and sagged to the floor.

"At least the protection charms work" I mumbled looking up. Ron nodded, he seemed unable to speak. "Come on Ron, you did brilliantly back there. Now, let's go get the Portkey, if we haven't missed it that is" I said, standing up and picking up my broom. He pushed himself from the ground, before following me across the lawn.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"About the Portkey? I think we may have missed it, that journey took longer than I'd planned" I said, reaching the door as it swung open.

Aunt Muriel was standing there, looking stern and annoyed. I sighed; I did not want to deal with this now. As we entered the house, she shut the door behind us and turned to fix us with a glare.

"Where have you been? Your Portkey left ages ago! I was expecting you earlier than this and -"

"Muriel listen, we were attacked. The Deatheaters were waiting for us the moment we got into the air. We'll fly from here in about ten minutes" I said, then turned to Ron. "The Deatheaters may still be out there, I think it would be safer to wait".

Ron nodded and Muriel went over to him ushering him into the lounge, where he sat on one of the squashy pink sofa's that had been packed into the room. There were trinkets on shelves and a large coffee table in the centre. The carpet was a horrible magnolia colour, and the fire was roaring on the far side of the room. I grimaced.

"Now, look at you both, cut up and bleeding, I say. Can't have you going back like that, you'll give someone a heart attack, heavens knows you've already given me one" said Muriel, "dear, go put on the kettle"

"We don't have time" I began to say, but she glared at me promptly.

"You need sweet tea, and chocolate. There's some on the top shelf, of the second cabinet on the right"

After two minutes of rummaging through Muriel's kitchen, the kettle was boiling on the stove and I was staring blankly out of the window, only dimly aware of Muriel's continued fuss over Ron. My thoughts drifted to the others. Were they still out there? Where were the Deatheaters now? Would they be worried about us, like I'm worried about them? Is Remus okay?

My breath hitched at the thought. He was going to be so angry, I had persuaded him to let me go, telling him that everything was going to be alright. But it wasn't. Was it ever going to be? My stomach fluttered comfortingly, making me smile. Yes, it would be okay, everything would be fine. I smiled as the kettle whistled and Muriel came into the kitchen.

"Go in with Ronald, I'll make tea and don't even think about wandering off!" she said sternly. I was quite tempted to salute as I marched back into the lounge. Ron was sitting on the sofa, a magical medical kit beside him.

"How you doing?" I asked.

"I'm alright" he said, "just, you know, worried about the others…"

"Hermione will be fine Ron" I said, vaguely. He looked at me suspiciously, and I smile innocently back. He was undeceived.

"I wish we could leave" grumbled Ron, "I never liked it here"

"Why?" I asked, feeling my shoulder go stiff. I instinctively rolled them back to try and ease the pain, but gasped a shooting pains shot through them. Unfortunately, Muriel walked in at the time. Of course, she sat her 'aching aged bones' down next to me.

"Show me your back dear, I thought something was wrong when I first saw you" I tried not to roll my eyes, and Ron turned away, hurriedly sipping his tea as my shirt was yanked up from the back. I was poked a prodded for several minutes, feeling even worse than I had done, before a cool feeling spread over my back. It felt tons better.

"Thanks" I said, appreciatively. "Right, well, thanks for your hospitality, now we really must get back"

"Nonsense, you need to rest before you go anywhere" Muriel countered.

"I'll rest easier when I find out what has happened to my husband" I said, using the sickly sweet tone that Umbridge uses on me. I find it patronizing, but I grudgingly had to admit that it works… Muriel stared but said nothing. I gestured to Ron to follow me out of the room. He hastily put his cup down and jumped up.

As I walked through the hall, I grabbed my broom which had been left at the front door, and opened the door while turning back to Muriel. Ron walked past me hesitantly, and then I followed him after Muriel had given a stiff nod. As we entered back into the yard and across the lawn, pulled out my wand and pointed it at Ron.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to disillusion you, I'll take it off when we're a mile or so away from the burrow" I explained, tapping him on the head. His body began to disappear from the head down. I mounted my broom and felt him get on the back, as he placed near invisible hands on my waist. "It's just a precaution". I disillusioned myself and the broom.

Okay" he replied sounding unsure, as I kicked off from the ground, and I turned the broom viciously in mid-air, heading straight for the burrow. From here it would probably take us 30 minutes, if we were lucky, but we were already so late. It was probable that we would be the last back, which was good for me, because then I would know who was back, who was safe.

I bit my lip as the wind brushed my skin. I night sky was beautiful, yet frightening; I was constantly craning my neck in all sorts of angles, trying to ensure that we weren't being followed. But the Deatheaters seemed to have disappeared, hopefully they had failed to do what they came here to do and had gone back to Voldemort.

As the minutes ticked by, the Burrow came into sight. Casting a nonverbal, I released the disillusion charm from us. I dived towards the Burrow's yard.

"It's them!" came a girls scream that sounded like Hermione's, and must have been, as Ron gave a sigh of relief. I landed in a long skid, sending earth and pebbles flying everywhere, but I didn't care. Remus was standing in the yard, he was safe, and he was alright…

"Remus!" I cried, relieved. I staggered off my broom and through myself into Remus's waiting arms. With my arms around his neck, I pressed my cold body against him warm one, revelling the feel of his hands on my back. I could feel his breath tickle my neck, and I ran my fingers gently (and discreetly) through the back of his hair.

Ron had gotten off the broom, and Hermione had flung herself at him, as I had with Remus, but while I listened to their conversation my eyes were fixed on Remus.

"I thought – I thought –"

"'M all right," said Ron, patting her on the back. "'M fine."

"Ron was great" I said, warmly, finally releasing Remus, but his hand slid into mine, as if trying to ensure that I didn't disappear. I squeezed his hand gently. "Wonderful. Stunned one of the Death Eaters, straight to the head, and when you're aiming at a moving target from a flying broom –"

"You did?" said Hermione, gazing up at Ron with her arms still around his neck.

"Always the tone of surprise," he said a little grumpily, breaking free. "Are we the last back?"

"No," said Ginny, "we're still waiting for Bill and Fleur and Mad-Eye and Mundungus. I'm going to tell Mum and Dad you're okay, Ron –"

She ran back inside.

"So what kept you? What happened?" Remus asked, sounding angry with me. I looked him hard in the eye when I replied.

"Bellatrix," said Tonks. "She wants me quite as much as she wants Harry, Remus; she tried very hard to kill me. I just wish I'd got her, I owe Bellatrix" I said, trying to silently convey that _everything_ was fine. "But we definitely injured Rodolphus . . . . Then we got to Ron's Auntie Muriel's and we missed our Portkey and she was fussing over us –"

Remus had a muscle jumping in his jaw, he was angry with himself for letting me go, considering he hadn't wanted me to go in the first place. I squeezed his hand tightly. He nodded, but seemed suddenly unable to speak.

"So what happened to you lot?" I asked, turning to Harry, Hermione and Kingsley.

They recounted the stories of their own journeys, and I was shocked to hear that Voldemort had shown up and flown after Kingsley. I was shocked even more by the fact that he had left Kingsley and gone after the really Harry, wondering how the hell he had known which was the real one. Remus explained Harry had used Expelliarmus on Stan Shunpike, and I sighed to hear that Azkaban had had more breakouts that had been covered up.

Still, as the time moved on, the continued absence of Bill, Fleur, Mad-Eye, and Mundungus seemed to lie upon us all like a frost, its icy bite harder and harder to ignore. I kept glancing up at the sky, while pressing closer to Remus's side, into his warmth. As the others continued to talk, I leaned towards Remus so I could whisper. "I'm sorry baby".

"You scared me" he whispered, "I thought –" I kissed him lightly on the cheek, to stop him from talking anymore. What I wanted more than anything was to kiss Remus soundly on his lips, hear him moan my name and we wrapped ourselves up in each other's arms. However, in the currently situation this would not be a good idea, and I was too worried to do anything more than buried my head in his chest.

"I'm going to have to get back to Downing Street, I should have been there an hour ago," said Kingsley finally, after a last sweeping gaze at the sky. "Let me know when they're back" he said to Remus, who nodded. Then with a wave at the rest of us, he walked away until he was swallowed by darkness. I heard a faint popping noise from the other side of the gate though.

Just then Molly and Arthur came running out of the house, and both hugged Ron, looking relieved. When they had let go, Molly and Arthur turned to me and Remus.

"Thank you," said Molly, "for our sons."

"Don't be silly, Molly," I said at once.

"How's George?" asked Remus.

"What's wrong with him?" piped up Ron.

"He's lost –"

But the end of Molly's sentence was drowned in a general outcry. A Thestral carrying Bill and fleur had landed in the garden a few feet away. I let out a breath that I hadn't realised I'd been holding, as I watch Fleur and Bill dismount, looking windswept but unhurt.

"Bill! Thank God, thank God –"

Molly ran forward, but the hug Bill bestowed upon her was perfunctory at best. Looking directly at Arthur, he said, "Mad-Eye's dead."

No-one spoke, no-one moved. I felt as if someone had gotten hold on my insides and was squeezing them together. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't be…

"We saw it," said Bill; Fleur nodded, tear tracks glittering on her cheeks in the light from the kitchen window. "It happened just after we broke out of the circle: Mad-Eye and Dung were close by us, they were heading north too. Voldemort – he can fly – went straight for them. Dung panicked, I heard him cry out, Mad-Eye tried to stop him, but he Disapparated. Voldemort's curse hit Mad-Eye full in the face, he fell backward off his broom and – there was nothing we could do, nothing, we had half a dozen of them on our own tail –"

Bill's voice broke.

"Of course you couldn't have done anything," said Lupin. He squeezed my hand tight as I pressed into his side. Tears were welling in my eyes. Mad-eye; my fierce mentor, and the toughest Auror who ever lived… was dead.

There seemed no point in waiting in the yard anymore, and so everyone turned back to the house. Remus handed me a handkerchief which I grabbed and began to cry. With his arm around me, I was steered inside. Mad-eye dead, I still couldn't understand it, but it was the truth. As we entered the living room Fred and George were laughing, they didn't know. I didn't listen to the others but stood quietly next to Remus trying to stem the flow of tears that came unrestrainedly. A glass flew towards me, containing Firewhisky. I took it and raised it.

"Mad-eye" Bill said. We all echoed him, but Hagrid was last of all. As Firewhisky burned in my throat, I felt something like courage spread through me, and found the strength to look up and remove the handkerchief from my face.

"So Mundungus disappeared?" said Remus, who had drained his own glass already. Everyone in the room went tense, even me. Did we really have to talk about this now? I looked at my husband, butRemus was staring at Bill.

"I know what you're thinking," said Bill, "and I wondered that too, on the way back here, because they seemed to be expecting us, didn't they? But Mundungus can't have betrayed us. They didn't know there would be seven Harrys, that confused them the moment we appeared, and in case you've forgotten, it was Mundungus who suggested that little bit of skulduggery" Bill said, pausing before continuing "Why wouldn't he have told them the essential point? I think Dung panicked, it's as simple as that. He didn't want to come in the first place, but Mad-Eye made him, and You-Know-Who went straight for them. It was enough to make anyone panic."

"You-Know-Who acted exactly as Mad-Eye expected him to," I sniffed, remembering Mad-eye's words to me. "Mad-Eye said he'd expect the real Harry to be with the toughest, most skilled Aurors. He chased Mad-Eye first, and when Mundungus gave them away he switched to Kingsley. . . . "

Remus's hand touched mine for a brief moment before pulling away when Fleur snapped. "Yes, and zat eez all very good," snapped Fleur, "but still eet does not explain 'ow zey know we were moving 'Arry tonight, does eet? Somebody must 'ave been careless. Somebody let slip ze date to an outsider. It is ze only explanation for zem knowing ze date but not ze 'ole plan."

Fleur stared at us all, silently daring us to contradict her. Nobody seemed in a fit state to do so, I certainly wasn't. It seemed a plausible explanation but Mad-eye was still dead, and at the moment I couldn't think of anything else.

"No," Harry said aloud, and we all looked at him, surprised "I mean . . . if somebody made a mistake," Harry went on, "and let something slip, I know they didn't mean to do it. It's not their fault," he repeated, again a little louder. "We've got to trust each other. I trust all of you, I don't think anyone in this room would ever sell me to Voldemort."

Well said, Harry," said Fred unexpectedly.

"Year, 'ear, 'ear," said George, with half a glance at Fred, the corner of whose mouth twitched. I tried to smile, but it just wasn't going to happen.

Remus was looking at harry, with an expression of pity on his face.

"You think I'm a fool?" demanded Harry.

"No, I think you're like James," said Lupin, "who would have regarded it as the height of dishonour to mistrust his friends." This seemed to make Harry angry, I watched his face, he looked as though he wanted to argue but Remus turned away and set his glass down on upon a side table, and addressed Bill, "There's work to do. I can ask Kingsley whether –"

"No," said Bill at once, "I'll do it, I'll come."

"Where are you going?" said Fleur and I together. I didn't want to leave now.

"Mad-Eye's body," said Remus. "We need to recover it." Well…

"Can't it - ?" began Molly with an appealing look at Bill.

"Wait?" said Bill, "Not unless you'd rather the Death Eaters took it?"

Bill said goodbye to Fleur and his parents as Remus put his hand on my waist and leaned into my ear. "I'll come back" he whispered, kissing my cheek and pulling away.

"You better" I muttered, he smiled vaguely and left with Bill. I dropped into an arm chair feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. Fleur sat on the arm beside me and patted my shoulder vaguely. Oddly, this made me want to laugh.

"I've got to go too" said Harry. I looked over at him, and saw he was the only one in the room still standing. I wasn't the only one that was startled by his pronouncement.

Don't be silly, Harry," said Molly, "What are you talking about?"

"I can't stay here."

He rubbed his forehead; I wondered what that was about.

"You're all in danger while I'm here. I don't want –"

"But don't be so silly!" said Molly. "The whole point of tonight was to get you here safely, and thank goodness it worked. And Fleur's agreed to get married here rather than in France; we've arranged everything so that we can all stay together and look after you –"

"If Voldemort finds out I'm here –"

"But why should he?" asked Molly.

"There are a dozen places you might be now, Harry," said Arthur. "He's got no way of knowing which safe house you're in." Which was true, but still Harry was close to the Weasley's. It might be the first place they'd look, but the charms surrounding the Burrow were near enough unbreakable.

"It's not me I'm worried for!" said Harry.

"We know that," said Molly quietly, "but it would make our efforts tonight seem rather pointless if you left."

"Yer not goin' anywhere," growled Hagrid. "Blimey, Harry, after all we wen' through ter get you here?"

"Yeah, what about my bleeding ear?" said George, hoisting himself up on his cushions.

"I know that –"

"Mad-Eye wouldn't want –" that's true…

"I KNOW!" Harry bellowed. I jumped, startled, and Fleur did the same beside me. There was a long silence before Molly spoke.

"Where's Hedwig, Harry?" she said coaxingly. "We can put her up with Pidwidgeon and give her something to eat." Harry drank his Firewhisky, and avoided the question. I pulled my knees up onto the chair and rested my head on them.

"Wait till it gets out yeh did it again, Harry," said Hagrid. "Escaped him, fought him off when he was right on top of yeh!"

"It wasn't me," said Harry flatly. "It was my wand. My wand acted of its own accord."

Several eyebrows rose, and after a few moments, Hermione said gently, "But that's impossible, Harry. You mean that you did magic without meaning to; you reacted instinctively."

"No," said Harry. "The bike was falling, I couldn't have told you where Voldemort was, but my wand spun in my hand and found him and shot a spell at him, and it wasn't even a spell I recognized. I've never made gold flames appear before."

"Often," said Mr Weasley, "when you're in a pressured situation you can produce magic you never dreamed of. Small children often find, before they're trained –"

"It wasn't like that," said Harry through gritted teeth, before mumbling something about fresh air and leaving the room. Everyone was silent.

"Maybe you two should go after him" I said to Ron and Hermione, before drinking the rest of my Firewhisky.

"Come on" Hermione said, pulling Ron out of the room after Harry.

We sat in near silence; Molly and Arthur were talking in low voices while Hagrid's eye's drooped. Fred and George were talking quietly to themselves and Fleur was staring blankly out of the window. Soon after Hermione, Ron and Harry came in, Molly sent all the kids up to bed. Of course they fussed and whined and moaned, but after we assured them that we would wake them if there was any news, they left. We heard them banging around upstairs, and then Molly came back into the living room.

Molly" I said, suddenly remembering something that I needed to do "is there any chance I can make a floo call? My parents will be going spare, especially if Harry told them everything that happened".

"Of course dear, and I'll go make some tea, or hot chocolate?" she said, smiling tiredly.

"Hot chocolate please" Fleur and I said together. This was getting creepy. "And I'll come and 'elp you" added Fleur. Molly nodded and they left the living room; Arthur sank back into the sofa cushions and closed his eyes. I got up from my place and walked over to the fire, taking a pinch of floo powder from the powder beside it. I lit the fire with my wand, and chucked the floo powder in before pushing my head in.

I choked and spluttered as my head spun around in the fire, before stopping in a familiar living room, with a familiar couple sitting on the sofa. My mum's head was on dad's shoulder and it looked like she'd been crying.

"Mum, Dad" I called, and mum shot up, looking at the fire with her mouth open. "Yes, my head is in your fire"

"Dora" she cried, jumping off the sofa and skidding to the floor, "what happened? Are you alright? Is everyone alright? Why didn't you floo earlier?" her voice got angrier with every question.

"Whoa, one question at a time" I said, "I'm fine, Deatheaters ambushed us but we got away. Well, not all of us… Mad-eye didn't make it" I whispered, not meeting her eyes. I was still upset about it, and I didn't want to add that her sister had tried her best to kill me… and my baby. Though no-one but Remus and Savage knew about that.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry" said Dad, kneeling next to mum. "How's Remus?"

"He's fine, gone to look for the body with Bill, so I'm going to wait up for him, but I thought I should let you know I'm alright" I explained.

"Thank you sweetie" said Mum.

"Well, I better go. Love you guys, night" I said, quickly.

"Love you" they called, and I pulled my head out of the fire. Back in the living room Molly and Fleur entered with hot mugs of cocoa. I took mine from Fleur and she whispered "you're glowing" and winked. I looked over to Molly, who smiled and turned to her husband. So they knew. I smiled and sipped my drink, leaning against the armchair.

Several hours later I must have dozed off, because I was being shaken awake. As I opened my eyes blearily, I saw Remus looking down at me. There was no-one in the room behind him and the only light was from the fireplace.

"Your back" I croaked.

"I told you I'd come back" he whispered, pulling me to my feet. "We couldn't find the body, not that we expected to, but it would have been nice…"

"It's not your fault" I whispered, leaning in and kissing him gently on the lips. He kissed me for a moment and then pulled away.

"Come on Love, you're tired. Everyone's in bed"

"Let's go home then" I yawned. He smiled and put his arms around my waist, before steering me out of the house. That was the last thing I remembered until morning.

**Ok, this has been a long time, I know and I am really really really sorry about that. What with exams and studying, I wanted to focus solely on them and not get distracted by this as I usually do. I hope I did this okay, but sometimes when I have to follow the books words it takes me longer and my creativity dwindles. But I am back, and I'm going to start writing the next chapter a.s.a.p. It will of course be Bill and Fleur's wedding, and the aftermath as requested. Even though I don't deserve it, please please please review and just tell me that even though I left you (I'm sorry) your still there, and you want me to continue ~Gurugirl**


	63. Chaos at The Wedding

_Recap: The Journey to bring Harry to the Burrow has been done, and Mad-eye has been lost. Tonks is upset about it all and Remus is acting strangely which doesn't improve her nerves (which are already strained due to the fact that she's having a baby). This is the morning after, and the days that follow leading up to Bill and Fleur's Wedding._

Chaos at the Wedding

"I need to tell Mum and Dad" I mumbled, sleepily.

"Tell them what?" came Remus's voice from the darkness, no wait, my eyes were still closed.

"Huh?" I said, opening my eyes blearily. "Argh, sunlight, it burns" I grumbled. I was lying in bed with Remus beside me. The curtains hadn't been shut so sunlight was once again falling on my face.

"You said you need to tell your Mum and Dad… something…" explained Remus, yawning and running a hand through his hair.

"Oh well, after talking to them last night…" I trailed off. Last night's events hit me like a ton of bricks. I sucked in a breath and continued "I guess I might want to tell them that we're having a baby". I felt him flinch beside me, and turned my head towards him, but he wasn't looking at me.

"I- I don't think you should" he muttered, getting out of bed. He stood and stretched, as I sat up, feeling queasy.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because, I just don't think you should" he said, vaguely walking out into the kitchen. I jumped out of bed quicker than I realised was possible, and followed him into the kitchen. He was standing by the window facing away from me, flicking on the kettle. He looked scrummy in just his boxer shorts but I had no patience to eye him up this morning.

"Remus" I said, annoyance etched in every letter. He turned around and I crossed my arms.

"Nymphadora"

"They're my parents, and I'm telling them. I can't lie to them and they'll find out soon enough" I stated.

"Fine, Whatever" he grumbled turning away. My mouth dropped, did he just 'whatever' me? I don't know whether it was my raging hormones or the contempt in which he spoke that made me say it, but I did anyway.

"Fuck you, Remus" I snapped, stomping back into the bedroom and slamming the door. What was his problem? I didn't need this, I needed to get to work, and have my parents know I'm having their grandchild and I needed my husband to support me.

_Suck it up, girl!_ growled a familiar voice in my head, which sounded strangely like Mad-eye's. Mad-eye… my mentor was dead. My husband was being an arse. And I still felt bloody sick. I wiped away the stray tear that had fallen from my eye and grabbed my work clothes from the wardrobe. There was a knock on the door as I began to change.

"Dora" Remus called.

"Go away" I said, pulling on my trousers.

"Can I come in?" he asked, clearly choosing to ignore my request.

"What part of 'go away' don't you understand?" I asked, through the door, finally changed.

"You're being very childish" he said, calmly, like he was talking to a student. I felt angry; very angry. I opened the door to find him standing there, his arm leaning on the doorframe and his body blocking the way. I wasn't going to prove him correct.

"Will you please move, I need to go to work?" I asked, as sweetly as I could muster.

"You're not running off" he growled, producing goose bumps on my arms. Nevertheless, I stared him straight in the eyes.

"I have to go to work, I have to earn money, now move out of my way before I let my pregnancy hormones take over and slap you" I said, quite calmly, and even though I hadn't slapped him he looked at me like I had. And before I knew what was happening, he had pushed me back against the doorframe and was kissing me roughly. His mouth bruised mine as he tongue swept along my bottom lip, begging entrance. Why couldn't I just resist? My hands latched onto the back of his head, bringing him closer, our bodies grinding together.

"Remus…" I moaned, before biting my lip as he pulled away, and looked down on me with eyes full of lust.

"Have a good time at work" he whispered, huskily, before moving to let me pass. I stared blankly at him, before pushing off of the doorframe to face him more fully.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"Just saying goodbye to my wife" he smiled.

I sighed. "You're a git, and I'm going to see my parents tonight". It was his turn to sigh. "Are you coming with me, or not?"

"I'll come with you" he said, at once.

"Right, well, I'll see you later then" I said, walking away, and pulling open the flat door. He waved at me as I exited, and as I returned it I felt thoroughly confused.

I walked into the Ministry of Magic, Auror department at 7am with a coffee in one hand, and my mind set on one person. And I was going to find that person, right now, before I even started hunting the 'baddies' (which was pretty much pointless seeing as we are getting nowhere).

I walked up to a cubicle and slid open the door, to find a man asleep in his chair. I put the coffee down on the desk and called loudly, "Wotcher Savage"

The sleeping man awoke suddenly and was flung forward in his chair. He groaned and looked up at me. "You better have a good reason for disturbing my-"

"Dreaming?" I cut in. He grimaced.

"I didn't get any sleep last night, thanks to him, and he gets to sleep in while I pull the early shift" he mumbled, apparently to himself. "Although, I heard some funny things when I did get in this morning. About last night; And Deatheaters…" he looked at me hard.

"Where'd you hear that?" I asked, pointing to the coffee.

"Bless you child" he mumbled, picking up the coffee and sipping. "I hear things; I'm very good at this sort of stuff. Hardly anyone knows though… were you involved?"

"Nope" I denied. He looked at me carefully and then shrugged.

"So, why you in this early?" he asked.

"I needed to get away from Remus" I said, "We had a fight, sort of. Well, it started as a fight, but I'm a little confused by how it ended"

"Go on" he encouraged, and I told him everything. About me wanting to tell my parents about the baby, Remus's attitude and then… that kiss; that amazing, bone melting kiss.

"Hmmm, well I wouldn't want to have to tell a girl's parents that I'd got her pregnant either, kind of scary I think, depends on how they'd react. So maybe that's why he doesn't want to tell them, would your dad kill him?"

"No, I don't think so" I answered, feeling better about the situation.

"Well, just tell him that then. Of course, that's never going to happen to me considering I'm as gay as the 4th of July" he chirped, beaming.

"What?"

"Muggle saying"

"Oh okay" I said, "thanks for making me feel better"

"No problem" he said, putting his feet up on the desk and leaning back to drink his coffee. "Have you seen old Scrimgeour about lately? I haven't. You don't think he's died, do you?" he inquired, completely normally as if we weren't in the middle of a War with people dying around us every day.

"Nahh, I saw him two days ago, he's shut up in his office" I said, leaning against the cubicle wall.

"Ahh, wonder what he's doing…" said Savage dreamily, before folding his arms across his chest and rocking backwards and forwards. "I am a good Minister, I am Awesome, and everybody loves me" he chanted, in a deep rumbling voice. I burst into laughter before morphing into Scrimgeour.

"Savage, how dare you impersonate me? Your fired!" I joked. Someone gasped. I looked up the corridor and saw a Witch speeding away. I morphed back into myself.

"Uh-oh" said Savage, fighting a smile.

"Oops" I cringed, and he quickly jumped up and pulled me out of the cubicle.

"Come on let's go patrol before you cause any more trouble" he smiled, dragging me down the corridor.

* * *

"Hey Dad" I said, as dad answered the door to Remus and I, as we turned up later that evening. He blinked in surprise.

"Dora, Remus, what are you doing here?" he said, surprised. Remus's hand twitched in mine.

"Nice to see you too" I replied sarcastically. He laughed and ushered us in, hugging me tightly as I moved past him.

"Andie" Dad called, shutting the door behind us. "Andie, guess whose here". Mum came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron in an irritated way.

"Alright Ted, no need to holler" she tutted, rolling her eyes.

"Hey Mum" I smiled, and as she saw me she grinned and walked forward, embracing my in a big hug.

"Hello sweetie, it's good to see you" she said, before pulling away and turning towards Remus. "Hello Remus" she said, politely.

"Hello Mrs Tonks" he replied, politely. My Mum's eyebrow shot up.

"Mum, Dad, can we go into the living room please?" I asked, quickly.

"Of course dear, is something wrong?" asked Mum as we walked into the living room.

"Not wrong, but something" I said, trying to explain. Remus and I took the cosy love seat, as Dad took the armchair and Mum sat on the arm of it.

"You're starting to worry us" Dad replied, carefully. I bit my lip and looked at Remus. He took my hand in his and squeezed it.

"Mr and Mrs Tonks-"

"Now Remus, surely we are past formalities" interjected Mum, smiling winningly. I suppressed an eyeroll. Remus nodded.

"Well, you see, Dora and me-"

"-Are going to have a baby" I blurted out, interrupting Remus. He looked at me sharply and raised an eyebrow. I shrugged apologetically, I had meant to let him tell them, but in the end I couldn't do it. They both looked at us wide eyed and open mouthed.

"Well, this is-" Mum struggled for a word "Unexpected".

"You're telling me" Remus mumbled. Dad smirked, but Mum kept looking down at her hands in her lap.

"Well, a grandchild" smiled Dad. "Come here, baby girl" he said, standing up and coming forward with his arms outstretched. I hugged him tightly, as he whispered "I'm so proud of you".

And in that moment, I truly believed everything was good.

* * *

Several letters arrived the night after. Before dinner, work had written me, saying that I was to be in at 6am tomorrow, and I was not to leave until all my work had been completed. As Remus and I sat either side of the coffee table facing each other, I attempted to vent my frustration into a game of wizarding chess, pretending Remus's pieces were Ministry workers. Unfortunately, half way through the game (I was winning) Errol came soaring through the window and crashed into the board, scattering the chess pieces who shouted in fury. Mum's owl landed beside the board, looking haughty and disapproving, much like mum herself. I pulled the letter from Mum's owl as Remus detached Molly's letter from Errol. I looked at the board and frowned.

"Thank Errol, I was winning" I muttered.

"Sure you were" answered Remus, a little too kindly. I narrowed my eyes.

"I was"

"Of course dear" he replied. I picked up the black knight and chucked it at him. He laughed and threw it back. I fought a smile as he said, "Read your letter". The letter was from Mum.

**Nymphadora, since you told us you were pregnant I have been thinking about the dos and don'ts that you need to know. As you have never been pregnant (Or at least I hope you haven't, young lady!) before, I have wrote a list of the things that you should do and things you should avoid. Of course, you may know most of this already **(Probably, I did have those books the healers gave me)** but I just wanted to make sure that you were looking after yourself and your baby.**

**For the first 12 weeks you need to take folic acid, which is a must! **(I already do)** Avoid all unpasteurized dairy products and uncooked/cold cut lunch meats, and sweetheart I know how much you love your coffee and it's not necessarily harmful, but please try to limit your intake. Please? I know how much you detest fish, but when I was pregnant with you I had to eat fish low in Mercury **(Mercury is a planet, right?)** like tuna, shrimp, salmon, catfish and Pollock.**

**These are just a few of the main one's and I didn't want to run on because I know you, you're probably rolling your eyes and tutting that you know best how to take care of yourself, but I'm just trying to be helpful. If there is anything you're unsure of, don't hesitate to ask Dora. I'm always here for you. Speaking of which, I don't like you living in the flat anymore. Perhaps you could come and stay for a while? Think it over, all my love. Mum xx**

"Mum expects me to limit my coffee intake" I said, vaguely.

"She's asking for a miracle, isn't she?" Remus teased. I stuck my tongue out at him. "Molly's letter; she wants us over tomorrow evening for Harry's Birthday. The twins will meet us in a neighbouring field and brings us into the Burrow. The security measures…"

"-Are there for Harry's protection. I'll get Savage to cover for me tomorrow night, and we'll go"

"Thank you" he said, looking tired. There were shadows under his eyes, and he looked strained.

"Tired?" I asked, meekly.

"A little"

"Let's go to bed then, come on" I said, standing up and offering my hand. And though Remus's hand stayed in mine throughout the night, I felt a great distance between us that I couldn't explain.

* * *

We arrived at seven o'clock the next night, led into the house by Fred and George, who had waited for us at the end of the lane.

Hagrid was wearing a horrible, hairy brown suit, which amused and slightly disturbed me. Remus shook Harry's hand before I did, as we wished him Happy Birthday. He smiled thanks and went to talk to Hagrid. I nudged Remus lightly, as I saw Ginny coming over.

"Are you going to wear that frown all night?" I mumbled, to the ground.

"Don't know what you mean" he whispered back.

"Of course you don't" I sighed, walking a few paces away so I could embrace Ginny. "How are you?"

"I'm good, except…" she bit her lip.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"I gave Harry his birthday present" she whispered.

"And what exactly was it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I kissed him – but then Ron burst in, and it was all so weird. I felt like things were like they were, but I know they're not"

"Hey, I'm so sorry but listen to me. One day, things will be as they were. You wait and see" I assured her, she smiled.

"I think we'd better start without Arthur," Molly called to the garden at large after a moment or two. "He must have been held up at - oh!"

We all saw it at the same time: a streak of light that came flying across the yard and onto the table, where it resolved itself into a bright silver weasel, which stood on its hind legs and spoke with Arthur's voice.

"Minister of Magic coming with me."

The Patronus dissolved into thin air, and I watched Fleur's family peer at the spot it had disappeared in astonishment.

"We shouldn't be here," said Remus at once. "Harry - I'm sorry - I'll explain some other time-"

He seized my wrist and pulled me away before I could say anything; we reached the fence, climbed over it, and ran down the lane out of sight. Remus was dragging me so forcefully that I thought my wrist might come out of its socket. Before long, he stopped and pulled me close, apparating us away.

As soon as we landed home, I pulled away from him to open the flat door. As soon as I'd unlocked the door I flung the door open with a bang, walked into the room, threw down my purse and stormed into the bathroom. I slammed that door shut too, completely pissed with Remus. I heard the front door close and footsteps come down the hall. I bolted the door on the bathroom door and turned on the taps to run a bath.

"Tonks" came Remus's voice from the other side of the Door. It was calm and as soft as silk. "Tonks, please, what else was I to do? You know how anti-werewolf the Ministry has been". I took a deep breath and went over to the door, un-bolted it and opened it a fraction so he couldn't get past me.

"We could have hidden" I suggested, vaguely.

"And if we'd have been found, you would be in a lot of trouble, and it wouldn't do Harry any favours either".

"Harry wouldn't care, I don't care-"

"I do!" he said, exasperatedly. He rubbed his temples, looking tired. He always looked tired… of talking to me. I opened the door a bit wider, so I could snake my arms around his shoulders. He looked at me for a second before dropping his forehead gently onto mine and closing his eyes.

"I love you, Nymphadora. I just wish-"

"What?"

He shook his head, before placing a chaste kiss on my lips and looking over my shoulder. His eyes widened in alarm. I noticed and turned on the spot, slipping on bubbles. I had left the bath running to fast and found the bubble bath floating at the top of the tub, its lid open and its contents dumped into the bath. Bubbles were pouring over the side.

"Shit" I cried, slipping over to the bath and turning off the taps. "I'm such an idiot" I muttered. I felt arms encircle my waist and warm lips press against my neck.

"You're not an idiot, Love" he whispered. "I'm sorry, can we just forget about this?"

I nodded. "It's not your fault that I left the taps running" I shrugged leaning back into him. "How do you put up with me?"

"I don't 'put up' with you. I do it because I want to" he said, "and I'm still sorry, for everything". He sounded so sad, I turned around and kissed his fully on the lips, letting my tongue slide between his lips and my hands glide down his back. His hands held my waist gently as he pulled me closer to him. I slipped on bubbles as he pulled me, and we both fell with a splash into the bath tub.

When we both emerged from the water and bubbles, spluttering in shock and laughter, I reach over and pulled him to me, using the water for aid. I wrapped myself around him, and flicked bubbles in his face. He grinned boyishly.

"Are you quite sure you don't just 'put up' with me?"

* * *

It was ten past three the next afternoon when we arrived at the Burrow for Bill and Fleur's wedding. We walked towards the marque in silence, though Remus's hand brushed mine every so often which was encouraging. Today I was wear a light blue strapless dress, which floated down to my knees, with petite silver sandals, and a midnight blue butterfly hair clip that was pinned in my now Blonde hair.

"Wotcher" I said to Harry as he came out of the tent. He was disguised as a Muggle boy from the village (according to Arthur) who was red haired and freckly, a bit like the rest of the Weasley's. "Arthur told us you were the one with the curly hair. Sorry about last night," I added in a whisper as Harry led us up the aisle. "The Ministry's being very anti-werewolf at the moment and we thought our presence might not do you any favours" I explained.

"Its fine, I understand," said Harry, speaking more to Remus than me. As we sat down in our seats, Harry moved off and Hagrid caused commotion at the front, after he had apparently mistaken Fred's directions and sat on five chairs that now resembled a pile of matchsticks. Remus took my hand as I listened to Hagrid's apologies, smiling lightly.

"You deserved a wedding like this" he muttered. I turned to look at him and rested my palm against his cheek.

"I didn't want it, I just wanted you" I smiled, and he returned in shortly, kissing me on the nose and turning back to the front. I rested my head on his shoulder as I watched more guests come in. A funny moment came when Aunt Muriel was led in by Ron. She was complaining about everything, and then I heard her tell George his ears were lopsided. I choked back a laugh, crazy old bat.

A sense of jittery anticipation filled the warm tent, the general murmuring broken by occasional spurts of excited laughter. Mr and Mrs Weasley strolled up the aisle, smiling and waving at relatives; Mrs Weasley was wearing a brand-new set of amethyst coloured robes with a matching hat.

A moment later Bill and Charlie stood up at the front of the marquee, both wearing dress robes, with larger white roses in their buttonholes; Fred wolf-whistled and there was an outbreak of giggling from what I presumed were Fleur's veela cousins.

The crowd fell silent as the music began, and I turned hastily in my chair to watch the entrance. There was a collective sigh from everyone, even me, as Monsieur Delacour and Fleur came walking up the aisle, Fleur gliding, Monsieur Delacour bouncing and beaming. Fleur was wearing a very simple white dress and seemed to be emitting a strong, silvery glow. While her radiance usually dimmed everyone else by comparison, today it beautified everybody it fell upon. Ginny and Gabrielle, both wearing golden dresses, looked even prettier than usual and once Fleur had reached for him, Bill did not look as though he had ever met Fenrir Greyback.

"Ladies and gentlemen," said a slightly singsong voice, as a tufty haired wizard stood at the front between Fleur and Bill. Remus squeezed my hand gently and I went back to leaning against him. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two faithful souls…"

"Yes, my tiara set off the whole thing nicely," said Auntie Muriel in a rather carrying whisper. "But I must say, Ginevra's dress is far too low cut." I stifled a laugh as I watched Ginny turn, wink in Harry's direction and turn back. I would have to ask her about that later.

"Do you, William Arthur, take Fleur Isabelle…?"

In the front row, Mrs Weasley and Madame Delacour were both sobbing quietly into scraps of lace. Trumpet-like sounds from the back of the marquee told everyone that Hagrid had taken out one of his own tablecloth-sized handkerchiefs. Tears of happiness fell from the corners of my eyes and I turned Remus. He was watching the front happily, and when he turned to me, he wiped away a tear from my left cheek and kissed it swiftly. His arm came around me.

"…then I declare you bonded for life."

The tufty-haired wizard waved his hand high over the heads of Bill and Fleur and a shower of silver stars fell upon them, spiralling around their now entwined figures. As Fred and George led a round of applause, which I joined in enthusiastically, and the golden balloons overhead burst. Birds of paradise and tiny golden bells flew and floated out of them, adding their songs and chimes to the din.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" called the tufty-haired wizard. "If you would please stand up!"

We all got to our feet, Muriel was predictably grumbling about it, and the wizard waved his wand again. Our chairs soared gracefully into the air as the walls of the marque disappeared so that we stood beneath a canopy supported by golden poles, with a glorious view of the sunlit orchard and surrounding countryside. Next a pool of molten gold spread from the centre of the marque to form a dance floor; the hovering chairs grouped themselves around small, white clothed tables, which all floated gracefully back to earth around it. A gold jacketed band trooped toward a podium as the waiters popped up on all sides, some hearing silver trays of pumpkin juice, butterbeer, and firewhisky, others tottering piles of tarts and sandwiches.

Remus and I rushed forward to congratulate Bill and Fleur but they were surrounded by so many people, that we had to queue to see them. I didn't mind though, and Remus didn't seem to either.

"That was beautiful, wasn't it?" I asked him, sighing.

"Yes, it was" he replied, half smiling at me. "So are you"

"I know" I replied, cheekily, winking at him. He huffed in amusement as we finally moved forward to congratulate Bill and Fleur.

"Congratulations!" I said, cheerily, hugging Fleur, and kissing on both cheeks, before doing the same with Bill. Remus shook their hands.

"You look radiant" he complemented Fleur.

"Stunning" I piped up. She smiled widely, giggling.

"Merci beaucoup, thank you; both of you for coming" she said.

"Wouldn't have missed it, you know that" I said, winking. She gave a tinkling laugh as the orchestra struck up. Bill stepped up and offered her his hand.

"My wife" he said, gently. She looked at him with so much love before taking his hand, allowing herself to be led gracefully on to the dance floor. I sighed.

"Would you like a drink?" asked Remus.

"Pumpkin juice" I replied, smiling knowingly at him. He smirked and moved off.

"Hello Nymphadora" said a male voice from behind me. I turned slowly, a grin forming on my face.

"Charlie Weasley, how many times have I told you not to call me that?"

"Too many" he laughed, holding out his arms and hugging me. "It's been a long time, girly"

"Too long" I agreed.

"And you're married now, I see, _Mrs Lupin_" he winked. "Never would have pegged you for the marriage type"

"I've changed since school. Didn't you hear? I'm a grown up now!" I said, stifling a laugh which would have ruined my playful seriousness.

"Whereas I am merely a little boy, who will never grow up" he said, dramatically.

"Like Peter pan"

"Who?"

"Muggle story, don't worry" I smiled.

"Alright then; I'm going to go eat and mingle a bit. But, I'll be back later to steal a dance" he said, waggling his eyebrows.

"Of course you will, get out of it" I said, hitting him playfully. He waved and walked away, twirling around in slow motion as he went, which I supposed was his imitation of dancing.

I burst out laughing just watching him, and turned away shaking my head, to find Remus watching me with an incredibly cold expression. When he noticed I was looking at him he stalked over and held out my drink. I took it, feeling suddenly nervous, and sipped whilst looking around the dance floor at the twirling couples. The music changed to a song with a faster pace.

"How do you know Charlie?" asked Remus, abruptly.

"We went to Hogwarts together, I'm sure I've told you that before" I said, frowning.

He nodded slowly, then abruptly asked; "Dance with me?" I blinked several times before nodding, and putting down my drink I allowed him to lead me to the edge of the dance floor. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me close. My arms wrapped around his shoulders as the music changed once more. I saw Bill and Fleur dancing nearby, Ginny dancing with a boy who had dreadlocks and next to her danced Luna Lovegood. I felt Remus's hands on my back pull me close to him and I turned my head slightly to see he was glaring at Charlie.

"Jealous much?" I mumbled.

"I'm not jealous" he stated.

"Sure"

"I'm not" he whispered, nibbling my earlobe.

"You better not be" I hissed. "If you've forgotten, I am your wife and you have no right or need to be jealous of my old school friends" I tried to pull away, but he held me tighter.

"Yes, you are my wife" he whispered in my ear. "Sorry" he said, but he didn't sound it. I saw Charlie walking over to me, smiling boyishly. I repressed a grin.

"Charlie is my friend, I haven't seen him in a long time and I am going to dance with him" I whispered, pulling away. He looked at me reproachfully. "I don't know what's gotten into you lately" I said, as Charlie was at my side. One minute Remus was all over me, the next he was pushing me away. It was all very confusing.

"May I cut in?" beamed Charlie. Remus stepped away from me and nodded curtly, before moving off. Charlie and I started dancing to a fast song; twirling and giggling I felt like a teenager again, my cares left me. I saw Remus talking to Arthur in the corner and frowned before turning back to Charlie.

"What's with the long face?" he asked.

"It's nothing" I replied, "Let's go get some food yeah? I'm hungry". Charlie laughed and we made our way towards a waiter, and grabbed a few sandwiches.

"So how's thing in the Auror office, still enjoying it?" he asked.

"It's alright" I shrugged, "the Ministry at the moment… well-"

"I get it; Dad's talked a lot about it before. It's sad really" he said, "Ah well, we're grown up now Nymphadora. Things have changed since we were at Hogwarts".

"They certainly have" I whispered, "But let's not talk about that now. How do you feel 'bout Fleur and Bill?"

He laughed. "Typical Bill, a veela I tell you" he chuckled. "Seems happy anyway, mum seems happier about it now than she did when she was writing me last year"

"Yeah well, Fleur loves Bill; it just took a while for her to prove it to Molly"

"I suppose. And what about you then; married? Whatever next, gunna pop out a few sprogs?" he winked, nudging me. I didn't laugh, but looked up at him silently until the grin slipped off his face, and was replaced with a look of shock. "No, no, your really – no!" he gasped.

"Yes Charlie" I said, calmly though I was silently daring him to say something more. "I'm pregnant with Remus's baby"

"I, well, wow" he said, suddenly before picking me up and spinning me. I squealed as he put me down. "Congratulations! Where is that husband of yours?" he asked, then spotted him and started walking over to where Remus stood with Arthur and now Molly.

"Remus" Charlie greeted, coming up to him and taking his hand in his, shaking it thoroughly. "I just heard – I didn't know, she just told me. Congratulations" he beamed. Remus looked taken aback, and I raised my eyebrows at him behind Charlie's back. 'Told you'.

"Thanks"

"What's this?" asked Arthur, as Molly smirked.

"Oh come on Arthur, surely you've noticed Tonks is glowing…" laughed Molly.

"Nymphadora and I are going to have a baby" Remus said to Arthur.

"Really?" asked a voice from behind me. I whipped around and saw Ginny who had come off the dance floor. "Congratulations".

"Thank you, keep it quiet though please" I said, "we don't want too many people to know yet. What with the Ministry's attitude and such like…" I trailed off. Ginny smiled and Arthur offered his congratulations. Bill came over and told his parent's it was time to cut the cake, and so they moved away and Remus's arm came around my waist and he led me off the a table. We watched at the cake was cut and saw the two model phoenixes take flight as the knife sliced the cake. I spent a lot of time sitting next to Remus at the table, leaning into his side with my feet curled up on my chair.

As the evening drew in the marque was lit with golden lanterns, moths fluttered lazily and people behaviour became more and more uncoordinated and silly. Indeed, Charlie, Hagrid and a wizard with a porkpie shaped hat were sitting the corner, singing "Odo the Hero" in the corner. Ginny came walking towards me, looking rather flustered and cheery. Her cheeks were blotchy and her movements graceless.

"Hey Tonksy, want to dance?" she giggled, holding out her hand.

"Ginny, are you drunk?" I asked, incredulously.

"No… Well, Bill gave me so champagne, and Charlie felt sorry for me so he gave me some too, and then Fred and George handed me some before they left with the Veela's…"

I sighed. "I'll dance with you, to keep you out of trouble" I giggled, removing Remus's arm from my shoulder. He looked bemused, and shook his head as I led Ginny onto the dance floor, where we were joined by Luna, who drifted over gracefully.

"Hello" she sighed, dreamily.

"Hello Luna" said Ginny, wiggling. I danced carefully, not wanting to bump into anyone, or let anyone bump into me. The crowd was still thick with wedding guests and I got elbowed in the back by one drunken Weasley relative, who looked rather confused and was spinning in small circles. Ginny was giggling and taking my hands, and we danced energetically, and soon I was laughing too. Luna was twirling too, and as the song ended we all whooped.

The next song that came on was announced by the singer as a 'slow one for all the lovers'. Ginny, who was sobering quickly after her brief spell of drinking, looked disgustedly around her, before grabbing Luna to dance before the boy with dreadlocks could ask her again. He'd been making his way towards the floor, eyeing her up.

"May I have this dance, Mrs Lupin?" asked a pleasantly familiar male voice, in my ear. I turned and batted my eyelashes.

"You may, Mr Lupin".

He put a hand on my waist as I put my hand on his shoulder, and our remaining hands clasped together. He steered me gently around the dance floor, the sides of our heads pressed together. I giggled as we twirled, and he hummed in my ear, a silly little tune that made me giggle more.

"Remus, what are you singing? That isn't even the song" I said, giggling.

"Don't know" he whispered. "We haven't talked properly lately" he said.

"I know, I'm sorry"

"Don't worry, don't apologise. It's my fault too" he sighed. "I didn't want to press you, but I wanted to know what you're planning to do about the Ministry?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"You're pregnant Nymphadora" he stated, blandly.

"I still have to work, for as long as I can" I said, "Remus, I'm tired" I said, trying to avoid the conversation by leaning my head on his shoulder. His hand slipped through the thin straps on the side of my dress and caressed the bare flesh there. I sighed, longingly.

"I know love" he whispered. "I know"

"Are you okay?" I asked, "You seem troubled".

"I'm fine Nymphadora, I have just been thinking on the past more than usual lately" he said, and I remained quiet. "My friends are dead, my parents too. I miss them all. Why is it that I still live Dora? I always thought what with my condition… that I would be the first"

I pulled him closer to me. "Remus, I can't answer that. I'm sorry you've lost so much. I really am. Surely, you're not sorry that your still here…"

"Of course not" he said, though he sounded troubled… "Dora…"

"What?"

He shook his head. "It's nothing"

"Remus-" I began, but stopped abruptly as Kingsley's Lynx Patronus bounded over to the dance floor, stopping in the middle. Remus and I pulled away from each other to look, feeling uneasy, as it opened its mouth, and spoke in Kingsley's deep voice;

"The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming."

Time seemed to slow down, there was a tense silence rippling through the tent and Remus and I drew our wands. Others had only just realized something strange was happening, and then… someone screamed. Guests were panicking, sprinting in all directions; many were Disapparating; the protective enchantments around the Burrow had broken. Remus turned us so we were back to back and took my hand as hooded figures apparated into the crowd.

"Protego!" we cried at the same time, seeking to give guests more time to get away. Everyone was shoving, disapparating where they could while others sent spells around the marque. As I was pulled towards the left, Remus's hand slipped from mine…

_Tbc…_

**Next chapter will start from here, I promise. Please, please review, it makes me really happy and helps me write quicker. Also, I really want to know if I wrote this right, tell me if there's anything that may be wrong and what bit's were good. Please? ;) Gurugirl**


	64. The Worst Was Yet To Come

_QueenSunset: I could not reply to your review as you disabled your private messages so I am replying here. I agree with you, but that is just the way Remus is and don't worry, Tonks is NOT happy with him and I promise you that he will not get off lightly ;)_

_Thank you everyone who reviewed, it means a lot to me. I'm back, let's continue our story...  
_

The Worst Was Yet To Come

_Remus's hand slipped from mine…_

I was elbowed in the side and kicked to the floor, as hooded figures surrounded those of us who were left. I scrambled to my feet again as I felt an arm pull me up. Luna Lovegood was pulling me back to my feet, with her face set and white. All her dreamy like quality had vanished, and had been replaced with a look of pure terror.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yes" I replied, looking around. Several guests were fighting, curses were flying everywhere. There was a terrible bang and a table toppled in flames.

"STOP!" roared a voice, "If you fight against us we will arrest you, put down your wands!" I looked and saw a hooded figure standing with his arms raised in the middle of the dance floor. I saw several people lower their wands, and tell others around them to do the same. I saw the twins running from the house towards the marque, looking panicked, with a couple of scared veela's trailing behind them. And then I saw a little girl with long blonde hair crouching by a table near me, terrified and trembling. I looked around the marque quickly and then moved to the little girl, it was Gabrielle, Fleur's little sister. I bent down beside her and put my finger to my lips before holding out my hand. Luna was at my side still, her head whizzing from side to side, looking for her dad.

"We are here for Harry Potter. He is wanted for questioning over the death of Albus Dumbledore" declared the hooded figure. My head snapped away from Gabrielle. _Bastards. _Several people looked confused; others looked frantically at each other and whispered hastily under their breaths. "Bring them to the front of the house, line them up. Now!" order the hooded figure, and soon the others were moving grabbing people by their arms and clothes, pulling them none too gently from the marque. Other guests moved quickly as to not be dragged.

"Luna, Luna!" a male voice cried, and Xenophilius came into view. I pulled Gabrielle to my feet.

"It's alright little one" I whispered, as she clung to my side. Luna had been dragged off by her dad, towards the house. I had no clue where Remus was, but he was probably with the others. Thinking this, I made to walk with Gabrielle towards the entrance of the marque as a hand grabbed my arm. I yelped in surprise.

"Get off me" I hissed.

"I'm here to escort you, Tonks, now be a good girl" said a bored voice. Proudfoot was gripping my arm, Deatheaters _and _Aurors? I groaned.

"Why are you here?" I hissed, "Surely you, of all people…"

"Things are more dangerous and grave than you can imagine" he hissed under his breath, fake dragging me out of the marque as Gabrielle clung to me. There was a bang from behind and we all turned our heads, the wedding was officially crashed. We moved along again. "I don't know what is going on, I was on duty tonight so got pulled into it. Savage is gone Tonks, he's gone" his voice cracked.

"What? Why?" I asked as we exited the marque and I could see the outlines of wedding guests, kneeling in a line in front of the house.

"I could be brainwashed like the rest but I am not, and nor are you. I trust you Tonks, because we are not like them. They have plans, I don't know what they are but I intend to stay on their side. You know why…" I nodded. "We'll talk again, but struggle now" he ushered. "And little girl" he said, looking at Gabrielle, before drawing a zip over his mouth. She nodded and looked around the crowd. We were almost at the others.

A few more steps and we reached the line of kneeling guests, Fleur, who was between her mother and Bill, cried out when she saw Gabrielle and a Death eater came over and slapped her around the face. I gasped and Gabrielle cried, as Bill roared in fury, jumped to his feet and was thrown to the ground again by two Deatheaters. They bore down on him and Proudfoot stepped up.

"Enough. We are here to search and interrogate. Nothing more" he said, with authority.

"What right you got to order us around, Auror" spat one, but the other was backing off at the look in Proudfoot's eye. My own eyes travelled down the line and saw Remus kneeling beside Molly, who was beside Arthur and the twins. On his other side were Charlie, and then Fleur's father, Bill, Fleur, and Fleur's mother. Luna and her father were several guests away, with Ginny, and there were littered wedding guests whom I didn't know. All of them looked terrified.

I looked back up and saw the Deatheaters backing away, as others walked forward. There was another blast and several people flinched as the marque came crashing down in flames. Gabrielle whimpered. Proudfoot leant down and whispered so only the two of us could hear.

"Walk forward slowly, and keep your eyes on your sister and kneel next to her. Do not look up, speak or move once there. Go" he pushed Gabrielle gently forward. She followed his instructions precisely, and I was very impressed by the little girl's courage. She kneeled next to her sister, and put her head on her mother's shoulder. She was as still as a statue form then on.

"What you doing with her?" asked a deep, wheezing voice. Proudfoot snapped his head to the side.

"Nothing" he growled, grabbing me roughly by the arm and dragging me towards Remus. I acted along with him, squirming as he 'threw' me beside Remus. Remus made towards me, holding out his arm but I shook my head and crawled quickly into the gap, kneeling next to him.

"You lot search the house, they rest of you… interrogation" growled a masked man. The Deatheaters did what he said, and we head bangs and crashing sounds as the house was searched and the wedding was smashed completely.

"Right then… you" wheezed the man, walking forward so that his face was illuminated by the fire blazing from the marque. I recognized him at once as Amycus, and he was pointing at Arthur, who stiffened beside Molly but otherwise didn't move.

Arthur was pulled out of the line by two more hooded figures whose faces I could now see. Dawlish was one, and Dolohov was the other. As an Auror, Mad-eye had taught me to recognize an enemy with even the slightest of details. Dawlish's nose was squashed slightly to the left. Dolohov's hair was filthy and always fell into his eyes. Whenever I had seen his poster I had wanted to cut his fringe out of irritation. Arthur was thrown roughly at Amycus's feet and I heard Molly squeal faintly from beside me.

"Dawlish, go search the house with the others" ordered Amycus, "you" he said pointing at Arthur "where is Potter?"

"I don't know" Arthur replied. Smack. Amycus's fist connected with Arthur's jaw, and Molly squealed. Amycus's piggy little eyes turned to her. I put my hand on her arm, she needed to stay quiet. Amycus turned back to Arthur.

"Perhaps I'm not making myself clear Weasley, tell me where Potter is now" he hissed.

"I don't know" Arthur repeated. Amycus breathed low, looking furious, with a nod to the others, they moved forward and grabbed random guests. Some were dragged off, other were question where they kneeled. Remus was one of them. A Death eater who was still wearing a mask pushed Remus to the floor beside me. Our eyes met, and I knew better than to move to help him, but the impulse was running through me, and fighting it was hard. Just as he looked away, and the Deatheaters wand was pointed at him, there was a terrible, drawn out scream.

Bill was flat on his back, having the Cruciatus curse used on him. Fleur screamed, Ginny jumped up in anger and Arthur pushed himself from the floor.

"Enough!" screamed the death eater from above Bill. "Get back in line, or I'll use it on all of you" he threatened. Everyone froze and then unfroze slowly, moving away. Activity continued, screams where heard, smacks, cracks and bangs pierced the night and my head whipped towards Remus.

"We know you've seen him Lupin. Just tell us where Potter is, and we can all go home" sneered the Death eater. The voice was familiar, but I couldn't place it.

"I haven't seen him and I don't know where he is" snarled Remus, glowering at the death eater (or ministry worker, they're pretty much the same thing now).

"No? Are you sure? Alright then" he said, calmly, before I felt a hand grab my hair and I was being dragged up. I let out a pitiful scream as his hand ripped the roots of my hair from my scalp.

"No" yelled Remus, jumping to his feet. A death eater kicked him down to the floor by his stomach, and then booted him in the face. I heard a crack and Remus's face was covered in blood that was gushing from his nose.

"Remus" I cried, as the laughing death eater took off his mask. Lucius Malfoy was sneering at us.

"Right now Lupin, where is Potter?" Remus was looking at me, as my head was being pulled backwards and my neck strained painfully. I shook my head ever so slightly, so Malfoy wouldn't notice.

"I don't know" Remus answered, slowly and clearly. I could feel a wand press against my throat, people around me were being questioned, tortured. Dawlish came out of the house and ran over to Arthur, who was close to me and Remus still. His wand pointed at his forehead.

"You, Weasley, who is that in there, covered in pustules? He's lying in bed" Dawlish said, shivering slightly though the night air was quite warm.

"That is my youngest son Ronald, he has spattergroit" Arthur answered, and I saw Molly trying hastily to hide her confusion and surprise.

"I wouldn't get to near him Dawlish, spattergroit is very contagious" said Proudfoot, stepping forward. I was watching them so intently that I was taken by surprise and Lucius Malfoy shoved me roughly to the ground on top of Remus, who caught me in his arms. He placed me next to him, nodding reassuringly to me before looking around. Death eaters were everywhere; there was no way any of us were leaving anytime soon.

The night grew on, more members of the order and guests alike were tortured, but of course, they knew nothing about Harry ever being there. We were left alone for a while; Proudfoot hovered over us for a bit before moving off to look like he was participating. The Deatheaters continued to get the same answer as they interrogated us all night. Nobody knew where Harry was. This was in fact true of all of us. Harry had been here (which the Death eaters must NOT find out), but we still didn't know where he'd gone. Or Ron and Hermione. We could only assume that they had Disapparated away when the Death eaters first appeared.

Remus's fingers were intertwined with mine, and his thumb rubbed soothing circles up my hand. It was a gentle reminder for me to stay quiet, and not lash out at the bastards holding us here. I looked along the line at one point, and saw Fleur with her head on Bill's shoulder. In the light of the fire that was coming from the now destroyed marque, I saw tears tracks down her cheeks. She looked devastated. This was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. I felt sad for her and gripped Remus's hand tighter. Fred and George were being interrogated, and George had been asked about his ear. He said it was a prank gone wrong, unlike the interrogator who was naturally ugly. He earned a slap across the face for cheek. I fought back a smile.

"You" snarled a voice, as a grizzly, blood stain finger was pointed in my face. I jumped in surprise. "You know where Potter is, don't ya, pretty" he snarled, licking his lips. His hand brushed my cheek, and I shivered, stretching my head back away from it. I was repulsed. Suddenly, Remus had grabbed the arm, to which the hand was attached, tightly and the man yelped.

"Don't you touch her" he snarled. The man laughed cruelly, and all the guests' eyes were on us. Even some of the Deatheaters had stopped there 'interrogations' to watch. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Proudfoot returning slowly, watching Greyback tensely.

"Ah look, my ungrateful child" Greyback snarled, pulling out of Remus's grip. Remus's eyes were menacing, and my eyes swiveled between the two of them. "This yours?" he questioned laughing. Remus didn't answer. "Let's see if she knows anything, oh, she looks tasty…"

He moved towards me, and I whimpered involuntarily. I was scared, terrified even. He was a lunatic; I had seen him attack Bill the night Dumbledore died. I remembered how he had gone for me, and then he had got Bill. The savage, wild look in his eyes as he had attacked him and the scars that both my husband and Bill bore because of his monstrous ways. My stomach squirmed. I didn't care about me, but he wouldn't hurt my unborn child. I wouldn't let him.

I felt Remus's arm move around me, he was on the verge of standing up. I could see the anger and determination in his eyes, but Greyback was enjoying it. He wanted Remus to fight, he wanted to hurt him. I kneeled straight and looked Greyback in the eye, repressing a shudder.

"I don't know anything"

"Don't you?" Greyback questioned, sneeringly.

"No"

Proudfoot moved forward at the same time Greyback and Remus did. Remus moved to get in front of me whereas Proudfoot moved to hold Greyback back.

"I believe she answered your question, Greyback. You are needed elsewhere. Go" Proudfoot ordered. Greyback snarled and moved towards me again, but Remus stood up in front of me. He was shot warning looks from other Deatheaters, and so he moved away mumbling _'I'll get you one day…'_

After several hours of hard interrogation, in which many guests now sported bruises to their faces, the Deatheaters seemed to be dispersing. I was listening in on conversations, trying to hear what the Deatheaters plans were. It was in vain.

By the end of the night, the Deatheaters were leaving; having found nothing at the house to suggest Harry had been there, and no information from any of the guests. One by one guest's were being dragged from their kneeling positions and being told to go home. The fires on the marque had long gone out, and the night was cold. Remus's hand was in mine, and I drew comfort from it as Proudfoot walked up to us and kneeled in front of me.

"We're leaving, but they're keeping a close eye on you"

"Are we safe?"

"Yes, but being watched" Proudfoot said, before turning to Arthur. "Best not have anyone contact you" Arthur nodded quickly, and then looked away.

"Thank you" I whispered, drawing Proudfoot's attention back to me.

"What kind of man would I be, to let Savage's best friend get hurt. My friend" he whispered even lower, so only I could hear him. "I am not one of them, but I will seem to be. You understand how it works Tonks, no contact except on official business. We are both in danger" I nodded and he sighed. "This information will cause you distress, but your parents received a visit tonight" he said, before getting up and striding off. Another Death eater was coming towards us, and he couldn't look to friendly.

"Alright you lot, on your feet" snarled the Death eater. "Get going, go on"

I felt a hand on the small of my back; Remus was guiding me over to one side to apparate. I saw him turn his head and nod curtly to the Weasley's. He looked edgy, there were only two or three Death eaters now, and they were apparating away.

"Remus, my parents…"

"I know, I heard. We'll go straight there" he said, pulling me close to him, "you choose your friends well Dora". He turned us on the spot and I felt myself twist through nothingness, and land in my parent's front garden. The door was off its hinges, but there was no dark mark.

"Mum! Dad!" I shouted, leaving Remus's arms and running towards the house. I ran straight into the dark hall and pulled out my wand, waving it carefully so the lamps lit up. I moved through the hall, aware that Remus was following me, and noticed a light on in the living room. I ran hastily, towards it, stumbling a little as I reached the room. There on the couch was my mum, sitting up on the sofa, curled into a ball with tears tracks down her face. Dad was lying on the sofa with her, his head in her lap. His whole body was shaking.

"Mum, Dad" I whispered. Mum looked up and cried out, holding out her arms, I rushed into them, before moving back and sitting on the edge of the sofa with her. I looked down at Dad, his eyes were closed and his lips were trembling.

"Thank goodness you're alright" mum whispered. "I was worried"

"Mum, have you, have you been tortured" I asked, scared for the answer. She shook her head.

"No, I have not. Your father however…" she looked down at his face. I whimpered, and put my hand to dad's forehead. It was freezing. Remus came in and kneeled on the floor beside me, peering at my Dad, and removing my hand so he could examine him.

I turned to Mum. "I should have been here"

"No-"

"Who did this?" I asked. Mum looked away, wiping her face hastily with the palms of her hands; black eyeliner had smudged down her cheeks. "Mum, I asked, who did this?"

"She did" Mum whispered, her eyes growing dark with significance. I felt my eyes grow wide, and then narrow. Bellatrix; Bellatrix, her own bloody sister tortured my Dad. I felt my breathing become heavy, I was beyond angry.

"He needs bed rest, but he should be fine. However, there may be some psychological damage. The Cruciatus curse doesn't leave physical marks…" I nodded in understanding. "Do you want me to take him upstairs, or…?" Mum caught Remus's unspoken question.

"No, I'll do it" said Mum, getting to her feet carefully before conjuring a stretcher for Dad. Holding her wand in front of her, and floated Dad from the room. I put my head in my hands, and pulled at my hair. I was so angry, if I'd have been here…

"There's nothing you could have done" said Remus, as if he had read my mind. "I'm going to fix the door, and then you are going to get some sleep".

Mum had stay up with Dad, and Remus had cast new charms around the house to protect it. They wouldn't be very effective, but they would help a little. I was ordered to my room to sleep by Remus, but I laid awake on the bed, waiting for him. Mum and told me she would get some rest to and that there was no need to worry, but that didn't stop me from doing so.

"Hey" whispered Remus, coming into the room. I sat up on the bed and looked at him. "Your parents are sleeping, and so should you be"

"I can't sleep without you" I whispered back. I was feeling a tad vulnerable at the moment, and I needed Remus to make it better. Tonight had been a trying night for both of us. He smiled half-heartedly before moving over to the bed. As he sat down to remove his shoes, I crawled forwards, lacing my arms around his shoulders and kissing his neck softly.

"Would I be a bad Auror to say that I was scared tonight?" I asked.

"No" he whispered huskily, and I sucked gently at his neck. His sharp intake of breath indicated that I had found the right spot. "Dora…"

"Yes…"

"You need sleep; both of you" he said, pulling away and turning to face me. "I was scared tonight as well". I lay back down and pulled him with me, kissing him chastely on the lips before snuggling into his side.

"We're here together, and we're safe. That's all that matters" I whispered, resting my head in the crook of his neck. He said nothing. Sleep took me.

* * *

When the morning came, sun shone through my bedroom windows, bathing me in light I squirmed and rolled over, rubbing my eyes. I stretched out my arm to feel for Remus, but he wasn't there. How odd. Perhaps he'd gone to check on Dad? I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes again to see Mum sitting on the edge of my bed. She looked sad, but not for herself, for me. She held out her hand and passed me a folded piece of parchment.

"This was left for you"

I didn't want to, but I took the letter from her and forced myself to open it, even though I knew no good would come of it. The letter was carefully written, in Remus's handwriting, and it was clear that Remus had been thinking about this for a long time, perhaps planning it out since the day we married. Taking a breath, I let my eyes scan the page and began to read.

_My Dearest Nymphadora, _

_How can I even begin to say I'm sorry for what I've done to you, and what I am doing to you at this very moment? You are better off without me in the picture, you always have been, and so will our baby. Recent events have forced me to think on my selfish actions, taking you for my wife, taking you away from your family, and cursing our child with a shameful father. I am not worthy of you, of your love and your kindness. You are pure and perfect in every way, and I will no longer taint you with the shame of what I am. I need you to know that this is all for the best, trust me when I say, your future will be a much brighter one without me in it. You may not think it now, but it will be, I promise you that Dora. You will have everything you deserve; you will no longer have to bare the shame of a werewolf for a husband. _

_I'm watching you now; you're a heavy sleeper as always, but beautiful nonetheless. You hair is knotted and tangled, spread out on the pillow behind you. You truly are a vision of perfection, and I am so glad that I got to know you, and it's so hard for me to walk away. Please Dora, understand how hard it is for me to walk away from you like this, in the dead of night, slipping away with cowardice unworthy of a Gryffindor. But I must Dora, because I do truly love you, and sometimes when you love someone, you have to let them go. A bit cliché, right? But it's true. _

_I want you to know that I believe, no, I know that you will be a fantastic mother and that you will go on to do so many amazing things. I'm sorry that I won't be a part of it, but I must do what I can, and I know I have no right to ask this of you, after the heartache and hate you will probably be feeling towards me at this moment, but... please forgive me. I do love you, and always will, but it's time for you to live your life without me holding you back._

_Forever Yours, _

_Goodbye My Love, _

_Remus xx_

I knew this had been coming, but I had ignored the signs. As I looked back up at Mum, I felt like I'd been stabbed through the heart. A stray tear fell from my eyes as I dropped the letter. Remus had left me.

And Inside, I died.

**Okay, so I'm planning a chapter a month at least, this was three days under a month, kudos to me I guess :S** **Anyone heard about Pottermore? Got in yet? I HAVE! I'm so excited. Anyway, please review, I really need to know if this chapter was up to scratch, I know a few of you really wanted this chapter so I hope I did it justice for you. ~Gurugirl x**


	65. Moping and the Ministry

**Well, I'm back. A short filler for you… enjoy! **

Moping and the Ministry

It had been three days. I have been lying in the same position, on my bed, for three days. Since I'd read the letter, I had told mum to leave me alone, owled in sick for the couple of days, and slept. Every time I woke up, mum was in my room, checking on me.

"Was I dreaming?" I would ask. She always shook her head. I tried not to cry as I settled down into my pillows again and fell asleep once more.

But now I could not sleep. I was no longer tired, but I felt worn out. It was coming to the end of the third day, as the sun began to set and the moon began to rise. I watched my windows, admiring the pinks and purples spread across the sky as the sun faded. My bedroom door creaked open, and I closed my eyes hastily. I felt the bed sag beside me and a hand rest on my side, rubbing soothing circles.

"Baby girl, I know your awake" whispered my dad, "come on, it's time you got up. You need food, and there's a letter to answer".

"I'm tired" I lied, not opening my eyes.

"Well, have something to eat, and then go back to sleep" he whispered. I didn't move. He sighed. "Fine, but this isn't doing you, or, may I remind you, your baby any good" he said, and I felt his weight lift from the bed and the door to my bedroom shut quietly.

I sighed and opened my eyes. My insides were squirming uncomfortable, and I felt as though my dad had just chucked a freezing cold bucket of guilt over me. Remus had left me, and that thought hurt like a knife driving through my heart, but… I was still alive. I was still here. It was just like last time, only it wasn't, because I had someone else to think about now. I shot up into a sitting position and put my hand on my tummy. My baby, my beautiful baby whether it be a boy or girl, needed me. My baby needed me and I couldn't fall to pieces now, I couldn't afford too. Remus had left me, yes, but I was not alone, and I didn't need him to be a good mother, daughter or Auror. I was stronger without him, better without him. He didn't want me, and he didn't want this baby, so why the hell was I moping over it. It's his loss. Not mine. And one day he would regret it, and if he ever came back…

I faltered, I didn't know what I'd do, but he wouldn't be forgiven. _He's not coming back, _I told myself._ You need to get up off of this bed, get your butt downstairs, gets some food and take care of yourself and your baby! _And just like that, I got off the bed, and was walking out of my bedroom before I even had time to comprehend it. Walking into the kitchen, I felt like a slob in my pajamas that mum had made me change into. My mum herself was at the stove, cooking with all the hobs and humming to herself. As I stepped into the room, Mum turned and smiled, before turning back to the stove.

"Evening sweetheart, your Dad said you were coming down, so I'm cooking you some food. It'll be done in five minutes" she said, with her back to me. I tried not to gape, how had dad known. I shrugged to myself and went and sat down at the table. There was a letter addressed to me sitting there. I picked it up and turned it over. Recognizing the Ministry seal, I opened it with strong apprehension.

_Dear Mrs. Lupin, all Ministry workers are required to meet in the Atrium at 8'o clock tomorrow morning, in front of the new fountain, for an introduction into new Ministry policy. Attendance is compulsory. Sincerely, Auror Proudfoot._

I felt a pang of hurt as I read the words Mrs. Lupin, but other than that I was fine. New fountain? Meeting for the whole Ministry? What was going on? Mum came over and laid down a plate of Spaghetti Bolognese in front of me, along with garlic bread and pumpkin juice.

"I've made pancakes for after, now eat Dora" she smiled, happily.

"What am I, six again?" I asked, but smiled back and tucked into my food, as dad came in.

"Hey baby girl" he said, waving. I tried to say 'Wotcher' but my mouth was stuffed with spaghetti. He laughed and sat down next to me, pinching a piece of garlic bread from my plate. I swallowed my spaghetti.

"That was mine" I muttered, indignantly. He shook his head and picked up a copy of The Quibbler. "Thanks Dad, for what you said…"

"You would have come to the same conclusions without my help, you just needed some prompting. You're too much like your mother" he laughed. "What's the letter about?"

"Ministry meeting tomorrow" I shrugged, "why are you reading The Quibbler?"

"Because the Prophet is full of lies, here, and look" he said, picking up a copy of The Prophet, and chucking it towards me. I sipped my pumpkin juice as I picked it up, and spat it out when I saw the front page.

'**Harry Potter - Wanted for Questioning Over The Death of Albus Dumbledore'.**

"What the-" I started.

"It's the excuse they're using for why they tortured everyone. Also, they set Dedalus Diggle's house on fire" Dad explained.

"He wasn't there" I shrugged.

"No, he wasn't…" he lowered his voice, speaking gently. "Molly Weasley Floo called for you the other day, she told me that Remus had stopped by for five minutes before leaving." He stopped, looking me in the eyes. I nodded and he continued. "I didn't let anything on; however, she enlightened me to something. Arthur heard a rumor that Scrimgeour was tortured by Deatheaters for Harry's whereabouts before they killed him. If it is true, he didn't give them away".

"Scrimgeour was a good Auror, and he was on the right side. We never really saw eye to eye, but he would never give in to torture" I paused before continuing carefully. "How are you now?" I asked, tentatively.

"I'm fine; your old dad is tougher than he looks. Thank you dear" he said, as Mum came over with two more plates of food. She sat down on my right, opposite Dad who was on my left. I scooped more spaghetti into my mouth, as mum took the prophet and riffled through it.

"You haven't seen the worst of it yet" she said, laying down the paper by the side of me. "They've made Hogwarts compulsory for every young wizard or witch, but that's not to bad considering most children go to Hogwarts anyway. However, there is this…" I looked down at the paper and felt bile rise in my throat. Mum took it away and began to read:

'"_Muggle Born Register - The Ministry of Magic is undertaking a survey of so called 'Muggle-borns', the better to understand how they came to possess magical secrets. _

_Recent research undertaken by the department of Mysteries reveals that magic can only be passed from person to person when wizards reproduce. Where no proven wizarding ancestry exists, therefore, the so-called Muggle-born is likely to have obtained magical power by theft of force._

_The Ministry id determined to root out such usurpers of Magical power, and to this end has issued an invitation to every so-called Muggle-born to present themselves for interview by the newly appointed Muggle-born registration commission."'_

"That's wrong, that's so wrong" I said I said, unable to say anything else.

"It's Pius Thicknese's doing, he's replaced Scrimgeour. I think you should read this before you go back tomorrow" said Dad, "brush up on your knowledge of Ministry lies".

"What's this about tomorrow? You're not going in" said Mum, looking thunderstruck.

"I've been summoned. Don't worry, I'm a big girl, I can handle myself" I said, forking more spaghetti into my mouth.

"A big girl who's been wallowing in self-pity for three days" Mum muttered. I glared at her.

"My husband left me. I am now a single mum, as well as being a metamorphmagus, wife of a Werewolf, daughter of a Blood traitor and a Muggle-born, and an Auror who happens to part of the Order of the Phoenix. So excuse me for not being too happy, considering the danger of my circumstances" I snarled.

"Nymphadora!" snapped Dad, "apologise to your Mother" I looked at Mum, who looked hurt. I felt slightly guilty, but still… "Now"

"Sorry Mum" I mumbled.

"That's alright" said Mum, carefully.

We ate in uncomfortable silence for several minutes. I felt guilty about snapping at mum, but her comment annoyed me so much because it was true. Still, I was too stubborn to admit it, so I chomped down some more spaghetti. It was dad who eventually broke the silence. "I'm not registering"

"What?"

"This Muggle – born register, it's a load of rubbish. I won't accept there 'invitation' on principle"

"Good for you Dad. You know, I don't get their logic. If you could steal magic, there wouldn't be squibs, would there?"

"Exactly darling, but try telling them that… actually don't" he said, hastily. "They'd chuck you in Azkaban for it". Mum dropped her fork.

"You think so?" she asked, clearly shocked.

"Come on Dromeda, of course they will. It's just like it was during the first war, only I think – I think maybe this time is worse" said Dad, gravely. Mum looked down at her plate, evidently upset. I leaned over and put my hand on her arm.

"It's okay Mum, we'll be fine. As long as we stick together" I whispered. She nodded, and before I knew what was happening, she had pulled me into an awkward hug, squishing my side into the table.

"I'm so glad your home Dora" she whispered, stroking my hair. I would never admit it, but so was I.

* * *

I arrived at the Ministry and 7.51am the next morning, determined to find out what this meeting was for. As I set foot into an alleyway I saw spiked black railings flanking two flights of steps. One was labeled Gents and the other Ladies. Why had I apparated here and not the Ministry? Just as I got shunted forward a voice called my name over the slowly building crowd.

"Tonks, there you are, I hoped I'd catch you" said Proudfoot standing breathlessly in front of me. He held out some sort of coin to me, before placing it in my hand when I didn't move. "This is for you, glad I caught you before you went in. You have to flush yourself in. I really should have told you this yesterday but it complete slipped my mind"

I wasn't listening, all I heard was… "I have to flush myself in?" I asked, incredulously.

"Yes, safety measure or something. Anyway, put the coin in the slot in the cubicle door, then just stand in the toilet and flush yourself in" he explained, running a hand through his hair.

I nodded dumbly and made my way down the steps, parting from Proudfoot, and following his instructions I got into the cubicle and looked down at the toilet. I had to stand in the toilet? Oh this really was disgusting. I cringed as I stood in the toilet, my feet not getting wet at all. I sighed in relief; I did not want my boots drenched. I wrapped my hand around the chain and pulled, a flushing noise sounded and I whizzing around and around until I landed in the Ministry, stumbling out of a fireplace and toward Proudfoot, who was walking across the room to me.

"Get in alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine" I replied, looking around, there was a crowd of people a little way away. "So, want to tell me what's been going on? About Savage?"

"They've been rounding up Muggleborns, especially those that work in the Ministry. He heard what was going to happen, and didn't want to go to Azkaban so he ran" Proudfoot whispered, whilst steering me forward.

"Do you know where he is?" I asked.

"No, but wherever he is, I hope he's okay. He asked me to tell you goodbye and that you're a great friend, and will make a great mother" he said, looking me hard in the eye. I spared him a sheepish glance, before replying.

"He'll be fine, he's one of us. He's tough" I said to Proudfoot reassuringly. He just nodded as we moved into the crowd of people. We muscled our way to the front, and found ourselves standing next to Gareth Tate, a senior Auror with which I was friendly and who wore his hair in a ponytail. He had a look of disgust on his face. I was about to ask what disgusted him, but it became clear as I looked in front of me and hastily stifled a gasp of shock. The old fountain had been replaced with a new one, one of a wizard and witch, sitting on a throne of what seemed to be people.

"Muggles" said Gareth, "in their proper place" His tone of disgust indicated he did not believe this.

"Magic is Might" I read, curiously. The whole thing horrible and my hand slipped absentmindedly to my tummy. To my baby. "That's stupid" I said, perhaps a tad too loudly. More Ministry workers gathered around, all of them like us, waiting for something. Pius Thicknese came to the front of the fountain with Umbridge and Runcorn flanking him. Also, two Dementors slid in from the sides making their chill known to us. I shivered and pressed loser to Proudfoot.

Pius turned to face us with a smug smile on his face. "As your new Minister for Magic, I promise to restore this temple of tolerance to its former glory. Therefore beginning today each employee will submit themselves for registration…" There were several gasps, a man was being dragged by two other men, his face was bloody and his body was limp. "But know this" Pius continued "You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide"

…

**Sorry this was short, I should get another chapter in by the time I go back to college. Just calculated the number of chapters left and nearly fainted... we're getting closer to the end with every new post. Also, I'm in Pottermore now! If anyone wants to add me, or me to add them, message me! Oh, and please review. Gurugirl x**


	66. Registration

**A very short chapter, yes, but it's just a filler. Next chapter will be longer as I'm packing a lot of time into it. Also, I just started back at college and am getting over being ill... I know it's no excuse, but I will try harder to update. I will finish this story. I will not leave you guys hanging. I promise!**

Registration

The rest of the day was spent sitting in my cubicle, poking my head around the door to watch Ministry officials whom I didn't know; putting up posters says 'Undesirable No. 1' with a big picture of Harry Underneath. I didn't know whether they were all over the Ministry, but now as an Auror our number 1 priority was finding Harry. Me and Gareth caught each other's eyes several times, and then looked hastily away, but I kept feeling like someone was watching me. Being at the Ministry made me feel uneasy and it got worse when the list came out…

"So basically, I have a meeting tomorrow at Noon with Dolores Umbridge on my blood status and such like…" I explained with a heavy sigh, to Mum and Dad who were cooking in the kitchen. Mum was at the stove and Dad was standing by the counter, a good distance back. I went and stood near him, watching mum.

"And you're going to go?" asked Dad, moving over and giving me a hug. I felt safe at home, more than at my flat, which was now empty and abandoned. I couldn't stand being there on my own. Before all this, before the Order, I had been comfortable there. Now, it reminded me of different times, lighter times, and happier times. It hurt too much to think of those memories.

"Well… yeah" I shrugged, "I've got nothing to be ashamed of"

"They'll find out that you're pregnant, you know" said Mum, taking a pan off of the stove.

"So? I'm going to be a Mother, is that something to be ashamed off?" I asked, indignantly. She gave me a shrewd look before replying.

"Not to me no, but to them, maybe" said Mum. "Look, I'm not trying to upset you, but your child is most probably, well… like you" she explained, I opened my mouth to speak without really knowing what I was going to say. It didn't matter, she cut across me anyway. "All I'm saying is be careful, your blood status will only protect you so far"

I sighed. "Yes Mother" She turned back to her cooking and I looked over at Dad who rolled his eyes and winked at me. I grinned at him.

"I know what you're doing Ted" said Mum casually.

"Do you, Dromeda?" he asked, trying not to laugh.

"Yes, and may I remind you that I'm cooking your dinner, and I could easily let it burn" Mum said, prodding a pan back on the stove, and adding more ingredients to it. I sighed inwardly, I was a useless cook.

"But you wouldn't, you have too much pride to do that" answered Dad, bravely. Mum turned around and glared.

"You watch yourself, Ted Tonks" she warned, but Dad looked innocently back at her. It was sweet and cute and…

"Completely sickening, I'm gonna puke" I said, walking over to mum. She lifted the lid on the saucepan for the first time, and a sickly smell came out from it.

"Beef stew" mum said, happily.

My insides began to churn unpleasantly. And before I knew it… "I really am gonna puke" I said, gagging and running from the room. I only just made it to the bathroom in time before I threw up in the sink. I gripped the sink's edge with shaking hands and the waves of nausea hit me and then faded. I hadn't smelt the stew when I first came in because the lid had been on and my mind had been preoccupied. But boy could I smell it now, the whole house seemed to stink of it and my insides carried on churning. I hung my head over the sink, feeling weak and shaky.

"Hey Sweetie" came Mum's voice, she was standing in the door. "How you feeling? I vanished the food, and the smell is gone now" And so it had.

"Why did I react like that?"

"Just happens sometimes, you'll get used to it. When I was pregnant, I couldn't stand the smell of Chicken. Your father had to go out and eat it if he wanted it, because I couldn't stand it to be in the house" Mum explained.

"Okay" I murmured, grabbing the glass from the side and filling it with water. After a couple of gulps I wiped my mouth and looked up smiling slightly. "Sorry. I'm better now"

"Don't apologise" smiled Mum, "come on, we'll go out for Dinner, there's a nice Muggle Place just down the road"

"Sure. Thanks" I said, and just to let her know that she couldn't completely boss me around, as she left I said "Oh and Mum, I am going tomorrow"

She turned and smiled bitterly at me. "I would have expected nothing less"

"Please state your full name" said Dolores Umbridge, as we sat in a rather large office. I wasn't on trial, yet, but I'd heard rumours.

"Nymphadora Anne Tonks-Lupin" I replied, formerly. I saw Umbridge's lips purse at the name 'Lupin' and my own lips twitched.

"And the names of your Mother and Father" she asked, scribbling notes on a clipboard which she had held up to her chest.

"Andromeda and Ted Tonks" I replied, before saying "I'm a half-blood, a descendant of the Black Family"

"Yes, yes, I see" murmured Umbridge, before looking up at me and eyeing my hair in disgust. "And you work as an Auror here, at the Ministry of Magic?"

"That's correct"

"And is there anything you would like to notify the Ministry about dear? Anything at all?" she asked, faking sweetness.

I'm pregnant. "No, there's nothing"

"Well, everything seems to be in order, apart from this" she said, pulling out a piece of paper that clearly said Marriage Certificate. I had known the Ministry had found out by now, and I didn't care. However, I was curious to know what she would say about it.

"The marriage of one Miss Nymphadora Tonks, to Mr Remus Lupin; this can of course be rectified dear, so you won't have to worry about that" she smiled.

"Rectified? How?" I asked, faking ignorance. "I don't understand what there is to be rectified"

"Well, in terms with the law, this marriage is well dear, illegal" smiled Umbridge, horribly.

"Yes, but as you'll also see, I was married in the Muggle world, and that is a Muggle Marriage certificate. The law clearly states that unions outside of the magical world are not illegal, and are not bound by the same rules that exist in the magical world" I said, sharply. "So, my marriage still stands"

"But dear, surely you do not want to stay married to this beast" snarled Umbridge, her girly façade dropped.

"I love him, and he is not a beast. In fact, he is more human than you" I snarled back, standing up and looking down on her.

"Is that so" she said, standing up as well though it didn't do anything to help her. "Well, where is your husband now?"

"Away" I replied after a heartbeat.

"Away…" she whispered, thoughtfully. "Not left you, has he, dear?"

Without thinking I pulled my wand out and pointed it at her. "Say that again"

"Now, now, dear, you might want to control that temper of yours…"

"This meeting is over" I snapped, turning to leave.

"On the contrary dear, it has only just begun" she said, quietly. I stormed from the room, slamming the door as I left.

"It's getting worse" Dad commented, flicking through the Daily Prophet. "More urges for Muggleborns to come forward, insisting they'll be fine… what rubbish" he said, "The Quibbler's more use than this…"

"Which makes a change" smiled Mum, turning from her stove, before frowning at me. "Are you alright, Nymphadora? You're very quiet tonight"

"I'm just thinking" I replied, sighing, staring into space.

"Sickle for your thoughts" offered dad, jangling the coins in his pocket.

I smiled. "It's nothing… I'm fine. Really" I assured her, before asking the first thing that came into my head. "Do we have any peanut butter?"

"Well, you don't look it" replied Mum. "And why do you want peanut butter, you hate the stuff?" asked Mum, incredulously.

"I don't know I just fancy peanut butter" I shrugged, looking around the kitchen.

"What's wrong dear?" asked dad, calmly. "You've been quiet since you came back from work"

"Just Umbridge being Umbridge…" I said, before blurting out. "Why did he leave me? He promised he wouldn't, why would he do that?"

"Dora…"

"No dad, I don't want your pity" I said, firmly, looking down at my left hand. The ring still sat there, the ring he had given me. Suddenly, and with too much force, I yanked it off my finger threw it across the room with a clang. "Stupid thing, stupid lies. I hate him" I snarled. "I'm going to the shops for peanut butter" I decidedly, quickly, rushing from the room. I needed the walk into the village to cry in peace.

I didn't even stick around to hear my mum curse Remus to hell for what he'd done to me.

**You don't have to review, I know it sucked. Next one will be better. Gurugirl x**


	67. Returning

**Quicker update this time and it's longer than the last one. Hope you'll enjoy.**

Returning.

I walked up platform 9 and 3/4's beside Molly and Ginny. I was extra security, as all the men were at work and nearly every pure blood brat was glaring in Ginny's direction. I'd never seen the platform so quiet, so cold, so utterly depressed. Everyone was either sneering at each other, or boarding the train to Hogwarts, looking dejected and annoyed, as though they didn't want to be there. I knew Molly felt nervous, I had offered to supervise at King's Cross so I could join Arthur and give him a little piece of mind, considering the Ministry's harsh attitude towards him; they hadn't even allowed him the morning off to see Ginny onto the train.

"Now, don't go causing trouble, keep your head down and don't draw attention to yourself" said Molly, quietly to Ginny.

"Yes mum" Ginny sighed, rolling her eyes to me.

"Your mum has a point, Ginny" I agreed. "But then again, I wouldn't just lie down and take it" I whispered. "Not that I'm encouraging rebellion or anything" I said, hurriedly, winking.

"How are you Tonks, we haven't really talked in a while" said Ginny, smiling. "How's the baby?" she whispered quietly, Molly turning to listen as well as we made our way through the crowds of people on the platform.

"Baby's fine, keeping me awake and making me feel like crap, but fine" I smiled at Molly, who smiled too knowingly back. "Come on, let's get you on the train" I said, looking around before opening one of the trains doors.

"What's going on Tonks? With the Order?" asked Ginny, quietly. Molly and I looked at each other, giving each other significant looks.

"Were doing what we can to protect people, but our job is made harder because people know who we are. There's not too much we can do" I said, sighing quietly. I felt useless, we all did.

"And, what about Remus?" she asked, quietly.

"Ginny, I think you need to get on the train now" said Molly quickly, rushing forwards the hug Ginny tightly. "Please stay out of trouble"

"I'll try mum" Ginny promised, hugging her mum before turning and hugging me. "Take care Tonks"

"I will if you do" I smiled, pulling away. "Now, go on, before the train leaves without you"

Ginny grimaced. "I wish it would"

"We have to behave normally" said Molly, quietly, and Ginny stopped pouting.

"Goodbye mum" she said. I watched her get onto the train and wave sadly back at us, before she was joined by other students. The train doors were closing and Molly and I stepped back and away from the train.

"I'm afraid, Tonks" Molly whispered.

"I am too Molly" I said, quietly back, "but your strong Molly, and you've raised tough kids. Have faith in that"

* * *

That night I was lying in bed, tossing and turning. No matter how I lay, I couldn't get comfortable. I drifted off into light sleeps, that had me waking up every few minutes, or that's how it felt like. I'd been getting some odd cravings lately, and as I looked at the clock, I desperately wished that I wasn't hungry. It has been unusual at first, but I had gotten used to needing to eat peculiar food at even more peculiar times of the day… and night. Although the morning sickness had cleared up, I reflected, so things weren't all bad. Still, I had to pee at least ten times a day and it was all driving me insane. Dad thought it terribly funny, until of course, mum had hit him around the head with a tea towel. They had been spending a lot of time together lately, more than usual. They always stood close together and never went anywhere without the other. I pretended not to know what was going on, but in my heart I did. The Muggle registration Committee was coming after all those who hadn't signed up. Dad wouldn't allow himself to be taken, so he only had one other option. He would have to run.

I grumbled and rolled over to the edge of the bed, deciding that I would get up. The shinning numbers on the clock read 11.40pm and I rolled my eyes at it. I had work tomorrow, but of course, my baby didn't want sleep, it wanted Mummy to go downstairs and eat peanut butter. Yep, that was my craving, peanut butter and… anything; literally anything edible that I could lay my hands on. Mum refused to look at me while I ate, apparently I was disgusting. I probably was, but it tasted so good. Swinging my legs out of bed, I decided to get myself a midnight snack… peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies sounded scrummy, though at this time of night I mused that most people would think me bonkers.

Making my way to the stairs I saw a faint glow of light at the bottom, which was coming from the Kitchen, since the glow would have been brighter if it was the hall light and nonexistent if it'd been in the living room. Repeatedly telling my brain to stop over thinking everything, I moved down the stairs (or waddled, my ankles were sore) and came to the bottom before I actually heard voices. The first one I heard was mum's which sounded livid, like a spitting cat.

"Do you have any idea the damage you've done?"

The second belonged to my dad who sounded exhausted, but also quite determined.

"Andromeda please, it's not our place. Remus needs to speak to Nymphadora himself"

I froze at the bottom of the stairs. Remus. Remus. Remus. Ah, brain, please stop repeating it! But his name echoed through my head, meaning the next voice I would hear would be his… if Mum didn't cut in like she usually did. My first instinct was to run into the room and either slap and/or kiss him. But I stopped myself. Too much had happened, he'd not only walked out on me, but his child as well, and that was not acceptable.

"Thank you. I need to speak to her Mrs. Tonks, please"

Remus's voice, well if he wanted to speak to me he would, but he might not like what he hears I decided. A half plan formed in my mind, but it was sketchy. I'd have to wing it and go with my emotions, which were currently up and down like a Muggle roller coaster.

"Fine, I'll get her. But she may not want to speak to you!" said Mum icily. I made my way to the kitchen door and saw Mum stand up. Remus was standing by the counter, whilst Dad was sitting at the table and mum seemed to have gotten up from the seat beside him.

"No need to get me Mum" I said, quietly, standing in the doorway. Three pairs of eyes turned on me. All of them worried. "I'm here" I said, before walking over to the other side of the room, determined to avoid his eyes and buy myself some time. Opening the cupboard I pulled out a jar of peanut butter and frowned. "Where's my cookies?" I asked, turning to face mum.

"You ate them already" Mum replied, rolling her eyes, with an expression that clearly asked whether this was the time. My answering glare clearly stated that baby wanted food, therefore, I ate. We had an understanding.

"Andromeda, perhaps we should leave?" suggested Dad, looking between me and Remus. I ignored them all, rather childishly, and instead opened the jar of peanut butter and stuck my fingers in. "Nymphadora" Dad scolded, seeing my actions. I shrugged.

"Do what you want. Stay, don't stay, I don't care" I said, slamming the jar back on the side in anger. Dad practically dragged mum from the room before shutting the door after them. He knew all too well what I could be like, especially in my overly hormonal, pregnant, severely pissed off state.

Remus looked at me, warily. But I wasn't going to do anything that bad… yet. I cocked my head to one side. "You wanted to speak to me" I said, formally.

"Nymphadora…."

"No" I snapped, "My name is Tonks. You lost the right to called me by my first name when you left your child". I didn't even raise my voice, yet he looked as if I'd yelled at him, or slapped him. Good.

It took him several minutes of looking ashamed until he finally spoke again. "Tonks, please, just listen to me" he whispered. I stayed silent. "I love you-" he started, and I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, snorting in disbelief. "-Tonks, it's the truth. I do love you, more than anything. I've been stupid. I'm a fool, a coward, I know I am. I don't deserve you, but I can't live without you. I want to be a husband to you, and a father to our child. I'm a foolish old man, but I am begging you to forgive me. I promise to spend every single moment of my life to making it up to you" he finished, watching me over the kitchen counter.

I heard the words, and I believed him, but I was hurting too, and I had to think about my child as well. I looked at him, the man I was in love with, would always be in love with, and felt nothing but hurt and betrayal. His words weren't good enough, his promises weren't good enough…

"Are you done?" I asked, coldly, and before waiting for his answer I carried on quite calmly, having perfected the art of calm coolness from my mother. I had never dreamed I'd use it, until now. "Let me tell you a few things. At this moment in time I feel nothing. Yes, you are a fool and a coward, who has betrayed me in ways I never thought possible. You don't understand what you've done, I don't expect you too, but I've had to toughen up lately and been strong for our child, because I believed I was the only one they would have to protect them" I breathed deeply, before continuing, hating the sound of my voice but knowing I had to say these things, because if I didn't, how would he not do it again? "You have made promises to me and broke them, you broke your vows that you took and above all, you broke my heart. But a child needs a father, though you'll have to earn it because I will not let you hurt our child. And if you want to be my husband again, you'll have to earn that too. You'll have to – to prove to me that you're _Never_ going to hurt me again"

"I swear Nymphadora, I swear. I will do everything, anything, to prove to you that this is what I want. You, me and the baby" he said, stepping forward around the counter towards me.

"It's Tonks, for now" I whispered, my voice shaking a little. "And I forgive you, but I can't just accept you straight back into my life after this, you do understand that don't you?"

"I do yes, and I respect that" he said, nodding sadly. "I'll take up room at the inn down the road, I won't push myself on you. We can work this out Tonks. I'm so sorry" he said, his hands were twitching. He wanted to hold me, and I wanted him too, but I couldn't.

"I'm not that heartless, I'm not going to throw you back out in this" I said, nodding towards the window where rain was pouring and wind was howling noisily. "The sofa is quite comfy, and we have plenty of blankets. And a basement for full moons, and potions" I said, carefully. "If you want to stay…"

"More than anything..." he replied, quickly.

"Then I'll go get the blankets, and you can go wait in the living room" I replied, walking out of the room without glancing back at him. Inside I was in pain. I walked up the stairs to the landing cupboard and heard voices from my parent's room. It seemed mum wanted to come check on my. I snorted and grabbed blankets and a pillow from the top shelf, before taking them back downstairs with me and into the living room. Remus was standing beside the sofa, looking awkward and lost. I dumped the blankets and pillow on the sofa quietly.

"You should be warm enough" I said, glancing around the room. A small case of his stuff was by the sofa, but most of it he had left behind, up in my room. "It doesn't tend to get cold in here, but you can light the fire if you need to"

"Thank you" he whispered, sadly. I nodded.

"Goodnight Remus" I said, turning away. I needed to explain to Mum and Dad before I went to bed myself. I needed also to try and wrap my head around things.

"Goodnight Tonks" he said as I left the room.

* * *

"You're doing the right thing" smiled Mum, as I sat on the edge of her bed.

"I know" I said, "And you're okay with this?"

"Of course" she said, "but I'm still not happy with him"

"You and me both, but you don't have to be happy with him Mum" I said, smiling sadly. "I'm going to bed now. Goodnight"

"Night sweetheart" Mum said.

"Night Dora" Dad said, ruffling my hair. I laughed and left the room, before going back to my room.

Lying in bed, I tossed and turned once again but couldn't get comfortable for reasons that were different this time. All I could think about was Remus downstairs, in the same house, but not with me. I knew I was doing the right thing, but the bed felt suddenly too big for one person. Sighing to myself I sat up in bed and got off of it, making my way over to the wardrobe, and opening it. I was searching for something, and there it was, in a pile at the bottom of the wardrobe. Remus's jumper. Pulling it out I slipped it over my head and onto my body. Lying back down in bed, I curled up, suddenly a whole lot more comfortable.

He didn't have to know that I wore his jumper all night because it reminded me of his arms wrapped around me. And he didn't have to know that I cried myself silently to sleep, because I hated what I was doing to him, even though he'd hurt me too. My stomach fluttered all night, like butterflies, but I knew it was really my child trying to comfort me. I wrapped my arms around my stomach. Everything would be alright; it would all work out in the end.

**Don't be too harsh with Tonks, she's hurting, poor girl. Hope you liked this, I know a lot of you wanted Remus back. If you have any suggestions let me know, I need some inspiration (and coffee). Please review, please, please, please! Gurugirl x**


	68. Three Terrible Words

**Well, I updated sooner than I thought. Although after this chapter, I have a feeling the hate mail shall come. Anyway, please read and review. It's appreciated I assure you, and it makes me write more.**

Three Terrible Words

The next day was awkward to say the least. After waking up, taking off Remus's jumper and showering quickly, I dressed in my Auror robes and headed downstairs. I hoped my face didn't give away too much, but I was desperate to know that Remus was still here, and that it hadn't been a dream. Mentally cursing myself when I realised I shouldn't have to worry about this, I tripped down on the bottom step and only just managed to catch myself. My heart rate picked up and went back down again slowly as I shook myself mentally. Now was not the time for clumsiness.

"Careful there baby girl" said Dad, coming out of the kitchen. "I wouldn't go in there right now; you could cut the tension with a knife. Very uncomfortable"

"Meaning Mum and Remus are in there, right?" I asked, sighing. "She said anything to him?"

"No" said Dad slowly, "But she's been chewing her tongue all morning…"

I groaned. "Not good. Okay, I need some breakfast"

"Peanut butter, on top of peanut butter" he offered, smiling, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"What's wrong dad?" I asked, looking at him curiously. "And don't think about lying to me" I added, sternly.

"You're too much like your mum" he smiled, patting my chin. I swiped his hand away. "The time has come for me to go, sweetie" he sighed, taking my hand and pulling me towards the kitchen.

We had known this was coming, there was only so long dad could stay out of the Ministry's grip, but they'd been in the area the last few days. Still… "Mum won't take it well"

"I know, but she won't have a choice" he said, I must have looked worried because he said "I'll be fine Dora, don't worry about me. Just keep yourself out of trouble". We entered the kitchen to find Mum sitting at the table drinking coffee, and Remus standing over the other side of the kitchen, drinking tea. Tension.

"I always keep myself out of trouble" I said, moving over to the toaster.

"What are you talking about?" asked Mum sad dad went to sit beside her.

"Good morning Tonks" said Remus, quietly.

"Good morning Remus" I replied, awkwardly, starting some toast. "How did you sleep?" I asked, tuning out my parents voices.

"Fine, you?" he said, quietly.

No. "Yeah" I said, pulling the toast onto the side. "Hey, could you go in that cupboard and get the peanut butter for me?" I asked, pointing to the cupboard behind him.

"Sure" he said, moving to the cupboard. I looked around and tuned back in to what Mum and Dad were talking about.

"I still don't see why…"

"Andromeda, we've been over this"

"Mum, Dad's right" I put in.

"Dora" Mum said.

"What, it's true" I said, taking the peanut butter that Remus passed me. "I don't like it either"

"Andromeda, I am not rolling over and taking it, but I'm not going Azkaban either" said Dad, "Sweetheart, it's not going to be forever". Mum still looked sadly, incredibly so and I bit my lip in worry. I hated seeing Mum upset.

"When are you leaving?" I asked, carefully.

Dad looked up at me sadly, "First thing tomorrow morning". Silence fell on the kitchen, with everyone looking awkwardly at each other. Double awkwardness points award to me and Remus though. I looked at Mum's depressed face, she looked as if she was about to break down, and realised I would have to be the grown up here. I didn't want Dad to go, I was literally several seconds away from screaming 'Daddy, don't go!' and jumping into his lap, but I had to do the right thing, no matter how hard it was. So, I turned to Remus.

"You said there was an Inn down the road, right?" I asked him, buttering my toast. He blinked at me quickly, taken aback by my abrupt question. He looked as if I had just thrown him out. Whoops, should have elaborated.

"Y-yes" he answered.

"Okay then" I said, turning back to Mum and Dad. "When I get back from work, Remus and I will go check into this Inn and stay the night, so you two can spend your last night here together" I explained, smiling at my own brilliance.

"Dora, you don't have to do that" said Dad. "I want to spend time with you as well"

"You're going to work?" asked Remus.

"I'll come back first thing in the morning to see you of Dad, but I think Mum needs you tonight more than I do" I said, pointing at Mum who had covered her face with her hair, and probably wasn't listening to me anymore. "And yes Remus, I'm going to work. And don't tell me not to, because you don't have the right. Also, can you book the room for tonight?"

Remus looked as if he was about to argue, but sighed and said "Of course Tonks"

"Thank you Nymphadora" whispered Mum in a small voice; she had moved her hair away from her face again.

"No problem" I said, grabbing my jar of peanut butter and my stack of toast. "Have to run, forms to fill, paperwork to do, blah blah blah" I said, scooting from the kitchen quickly.

* * *

"So, he's back" said Jacob, raising an eyebrow. "How do you feel about that?"

We were sitting in his office, because it was bigger than my cubicle, and gave us more space to work. Not to mention talk without fear of being overheard. Proudfoot had put many complicated spells around his office to ward off spies and gossips.

"Haven't decided" I shrugged, returning to my form.

"Tonks"

"Proudfoot"

"What's going on in that head of your, little girl?" asked Jacob, looking concerned.

I thought for a moment before finally admitting. "I told Remus that he had to earn my trust back, well, earn me back really. But now that I think about it, I have no idea what I want him to do to gain it back. I'm so confused, and hungry, and I feel a little bit sick too"

"Well don't be sick in my office"

"I won't be, old man"

"I'm not that old" he protested stubbornly, making me laugh. "Oh, you're not funny"

"Oh, but I am" I grinned.

"Make him go slow, take things at your pace. If he respects that, then… take him back fully" shrugged Jacob, reverting back to answering my rant.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that" repeated Jacob. "You're not going to punish him forever are you? It's pretty obvious to me that you were miserable without him, so do you plan to be miserable forever? I know you can't take him back yet, I get that…"

"But I still love him, and he's come back" I smiled sadly at Jacob, reading the emotions on his face. He looked away, returning to the paperwork. "You miss him?" I asked.

"Everyday" he replied, not looking up at me, but his voice said it all. Inside, he was miserable.

"I miss him too" I said, thinking of Savage's departure. Of my dad's departure tomorrow. "It's so quiet without him"

Jacob laughed. "Yeah it is" he said, looking up again. "I thought that I'd enjoy the peace and quiet, but it's killing me" he said, softly. "I might never see him again, and I took too long to even realize he existed… just don't make the same mistakes I did, Tonks"

* * *

Later that day I arrived home from work. Mum hugged me tight and thanked me and I went up to my room to pack an overnight bag. I set everything out on my bed and was packing it into my handbag when Remus came to the door. He dithered for a moment before stepping inside the room.

"How was your day?" he asked, quietly.

"It was alright; I just sat and filled out arrest warrants and other Aurors paperwork" I replied, bitterly, wrapping up my brush in my t-shirt and slotting it into the bag. My head started to spin a little and I put my hand to my head closing my eyes in pain.

"Here, sit down, I'll do that" said Remus, coming into the room, motioning for me to sit on the bed. I sat down gratefully, still rubbing my head. "Sounds incredibly dull"

"Well, the alternative is arresting Muggleborns and dragging them down to the courtrooms to sit with Dementors" I said, angrily; but not at him, at the Ministry, at their attitude.

"That's how they're treating Muggleborns?" asked Remus, staring at me.

"Come on Remus, you know better than me what they're like. Why'd you most all Muggleborns are running for it?" I said, sighing. "I hate being one of them"

"You're not"

"I feel like it" I said, grimacing. I also hated acting so formal with Remus; he was my husband after all. "Thanks for packing, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'm ready"

* * *

In the Inn's little room later that night, I was sitting in the window seat, looking over the cute double bed, the wooden furniture and floral wallpaper with interest. It wasn't bad for a Muggle run Inn. I then looked at the sofa and to Remus, who was reading a book, or at least trying to, but he hadn't turned the page in over an hour. He was obviously lost in thought. I looked out the window at the countryside and smiled sadly.

I knew I was doing a good thing, letting Mum and Dad spend the night alone together, but I couldn't help but feel childishly sulky. I wanted to be with my dad too, he was leaving tomorrow. My dad was leaving tomorrow. It hadn't really sunk in yet, but that was the truth. He was leaving, and he might not come back. Of course, I would pray every day that he would be safe, but this was war, there were no guarantees. I bit my bottom lip, leaning my head against the window pane. Would any of us survive? Who of my friends, family, colleagues, even people I passed in the street… how many of them would die? War was finally catching up to me. Mad-eye was already gone, I thought with a pang of hurt. What if my Dad went too? And then there were the Weasley's, Mark and Jacob, Hermione, Ron, Harry. Who would be next…?

"Dora". My head whipped around. Remus was sitting across from me on the seat, holding out a handkerchief. I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was crying.

"Thanks" I whispered, taking it and dabbing my eyes. "Just – being silly" I shrugged.

"I'm sure you weren't" he smiled, softly, making me feel suddenly warm.

"No I wasn't" I agreed, smiling slightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"No, I was just thinking about Dad" I said, "I don't really want to think about it, let alone talk about it" I said. He nodded in understanding, and sat watching me for a few minutes before speaking up again.

"I had a visit today" he said, quietly.

"Really? From who?" I asked, curiously.

"The twins" he replied, quietly.

"How did they even know you were back?" I blurted out, and he paled. Ah, guilty conscience creeping in.

"I have no idea, but those boys know too much" he said, attempting a smile. "Anyway, they had an idea, along with one of their friends. You know how all the radio channels are following you-know-who's line and the Ministry?"

"I'm only too aware of it" I grimaced, remembering it being played in the Auror offices by Dawlish.

"Well, they're thinking of setting up their own channel, pirate of course, and they want me to be on it. Along with a few others; Kingsley for instance, but they don't want to ask him yet considering he's still working for the Ministry like you"

"Our days are numbered" I mumbled. "Mark my words; I'll have to run next. And that sounds like a great idea, it would boost morale certainly"

"So, would you mind if I did it?" he asked.

I knew what he was getting at and lent forward to take his hand. "I'm not your keeper Remus, if you want to do this, you can. I'll support you" I said, squeezing his hand. Now he looked really guilty, and I realised that I shouldn't be enjoying this, but I was.

"Thank you Tonks"

Later that night, I was laughing. Properly laughing as I moved on bed and it squeaked so loudly I bet the rooms above and below could hear it. Remus was sniggering too, and for once it felt normal.

"What are you doing, Tonks?" he asked from the sofa, chuckling weakly.

"Nothing I swear, I just move around a lot, now I'm getting fat" I protested.

"You are not getting fat, and it seriously sounds like you're doing something…"

"Oh, shut it you" I said, rolling over. SQUEAK! "Bugger" I laughed, raising a hand to slap my forehead. "I'll never get any sleep" I groaned.

"Want to swap?" he asked between chuckles.

"Nope" I said, swinging myself out of bed and walking over to the sofa. Quickly, before I had a chance to think about it and back out, I lay down next to him and closed my eyes quickly so he couldn't see them. I shouldn't be doing this… but I'm not sleeping in a squeaky bed, and if he's in it it'll squeak as well… that was my rational (or slightly irrational) train of thought and I was sticking to it. Remus suddenly became very quiet.

"Tonks" he whispered.

"Yes Remus…"

"Do you remember what you said last night…?"

"I'm aware"

"Well…"

"Remus shut up and let me sleep here. Would it really kill you?"

"No"

"Well then…" I said, stubbornly. The conversation died right there and I fell into a deep sleep, beside Remus, on a tiny couch, in a Muggle inn with a squeaky bed in the room.

* * *

The next morning I was avoiding Remus's eyes as we walked up towards the house, having checked out of the Inn early. When I'd woken up, it appeared that Remus and I moved around in our sleep, and we had ended up sandwiched together, a mess of tangled limbs and too much closeness for me to bear. I had tried to un-wrap our bodies without waking him, but I only succeeded in falling off the sofa and waking Remus up and the people in the room below.

When I walked through the door and into the kitchen, I found mum making breakfast whilst wrapping up food and putting it in a bag. Dad was helping her.

"Hey sweetheart" Dad greeted, before turning around and walking towards me. I rushed over to him and hugged him tightly, and felt him do exactly the same back. "How'd you sleep baby girl?" he whispered.

"Better than I thought I would, how's Mum?"

"Not good, you'll have to look after her for me Dora" said Dad, imploringly.

"Of course dad" I promised. "As long as you look after yourself"

He pulled away and looked me in the eye. "I promise to try"

"Good" I said, knowing I couldn't expect any more than that. "So, got everything you need?"

"It's all packed and ready to go, your mother's seen to that" Dad said, watching Mum sadly before turning to Remus. "Remus, a word if you have a minute" he said, directing Remus into the living room. He half smiled at me as he followed my dad. I watched them lead before making my way over to mum and hugged her from behind.

"Hello Mummy" I whispered, leaning my head on her shoulder.

"Morning Nymphadora" she whispered sadly back.

"It's not forever…"

"You don't know that" said Mum, shortly, before taking a breath. "Do me a favor Dora and check that your father really does have everything. His bag's on the table."

I went over to it and sorted through it, making sure he had everything he could possibly need. I felt my eyes well up with tears but hastily forced them back. Dad wouldn't like to think he'd upset us; he was too nice a person. I buckled up the bag after mum came and put her bag of food inside it. Undetectable extension charm; got to love magic.

When Dad re-entered, Remus wasn't with him, but he was kitted out and ready to go. He hauled the bag onto his shoulder and we walked with him to the door. Remus was standing by the living room door, watching us from a distance.

"Look after my girls" Dad ordered Remus, who nodded and smiled.

"I give you my word, Ted" he said, stepping forward and wringing my Dad's hand. I could have sworn I heard Dad mutter 'remember what I said' but as I looked between them, and to Mum who didn't act like she'd heard anything, I told myself it must have been just me to hear it.

"Goodbye Nymphadora" said Dad embracing me in a big hug, kissing me on the forehead like he always did. "I love you very much, sweetheart. And my grandchild" he smirked, and I laughed softly.

"I love you too Daddy" I whispered, kissing him on the cheek. "Come back safely". He nodded before pulling away.

I sunk away into the background as he approached Mum. They stood staring at each other for a moment before Mum threw herself at him. And for once I didn't act like a child and go 'ewwww' because I knew I would be the same. My parents loved each other, and I knew that. As 'I love you's' were exchanged and more hungry kisses, I felt Remus's hand slip into mine and squeeze it gently before pulling away. I grabbed it back and squeezed it tight.

"I have to go Andromeda" my Dad whispered, his forehead leaning against hers.

"I don't want you too" she whispered back, her eyes were closed. I'd never seen Mum so scared before, so vulnerable. I guess war really did change everything.

"I know" he said, kissing her on the forehead. I felt my bottom lip tremble as he moved away from her and over to the door. I was on the verge of crying, but Mum wouldn't cry in front of Dad.

"I will see you again, this isn't forever" he said, and then he was gone.

* * *

Mum shut herself away for the rest of September, barely speaking to me or Remus, who were left awkwardly dodging each other and trying to avoid getting into 'situations' with each other, like what happened a few days after dad left….

_I had come down in the middle of the night because I'd been sick and suddenly wanted some food. My baby was driving my body up the wall. However, instead of making my way to the kitchen, I went to the living room instead, which was bitterly cold. Remus was sleeping with only a blanket around him and as I approached him and felt his face, he was like a block of ice. I lit the fire in the room and conjured extra blankets for him, tucking them around his body for extra warmth._

_As soon as the blankets were placed on him he pulled them around his body, before opening his eyes. "Tonks?"_

_"You should have lit the fire if you were cold, I don't want you to get ill Remus" I said, sitting down on the sofa so I could look at him properly. The fire light danced off his eyes, making my breath hitch._

_"I love you" he said, suddenly_

_"I know" I said, gulping. "I do love you too, but…"_

_"I know"_

_"Goodnight Remus" I whispered._

_"Goodnight"_

Or what happened a few weeks after that...

_"I need sugar" I said, jumping up as he held the bag out of my reach. He'd just gotten in from his first stint on the radio, I had told him he was really good and then gone to grab a bag of sugar from the draw to bake cookies._

_"No you don't, baby doesn't need cookies tonight" teased Remus, holding the bag._

_"Baby needs what baby needs, gimme the sugar" I warned, reaching up to get the sugar, unwittingly sandwiching myself between him and the counter. "Now, Remus"_

_"Nope" he said, moving closer but keeping the bag out of reach. "It's late, you need sleep for work…" he grimaced._

_"I will work until I'm good and ready to leave, mister" I threatened, getting in his face. "And I want cookies, so give me the bag"_

_"Make me"_

_"Oh, I will"_

_Our faces were millimeters apart, our lips almost touching. I felt my body ache and my heart tug. Just lean in, just lean in… I raised my hand up to cup his cheek and slid it down his neck to a brand new scar. I pretended not to notice his shiver as I did._

_"Dora…"_

_"The full moon wasn't kind to you" I mumbled softly, dropping my hand._

_"I deserved it"_

_"No you didn't" I replied, putting my hands on his chest and pushing him away. "You're right, I need sleep. I'll go now" I stuttered quickly. Just before I reached the door I heard him speak._

_"Goodnight Nymphadora"_

_"Goodnight Remus"_

* * *

October sprang upon us quickly, and I began to get, well, bigger. I had a distinct bump that could not be hidden or passed off as fat. It was too much of a bump, but I loved it. I got into a habit of running my hand over it during the day, and I'd left work, mainly, I was doing paperwork from home. So as I sat on the sofa doing paperwork by firelight, I jumped when Remus came in from his second broadcasting.

"You look freezing" I whispered, patting her space beside me. He came and sat down next to me, smiling tiredly. I saw mum come down and go into the kitchen, before I turned back to Remus. "I heard you tonight, very good"

"Thank you" he said, taking my hand and squeezing it, before dropping it again. I sighed, that was all the contact I got nowadays. "How's are baby?" he smiled, patting my stomach. I placed my hand over the top of his hand and moved it to the side where the baby was moving or 'fluttering'.

"Awake, I think" I said, grinning as he grinned at me. "Our baby moves around a lot, I feel it most at night"

"Amazing" he whispered, his head leaned against the side of mine. Going on instinct, I locked our fingers together. He looked at me curiously. "Dora…"

"Remus" I said, turning to look at him "It's very cold down here…"

"Yes" he agreed.

"Well…" bang, bang, bang. Someone was knocking on the door.

We both turned to look out into the hallway, as Mum came out of the kitchen drawing her wand. I wanted to shout to her not to open the door, and for a long time after I would regret not telling her not to open the door. I sprang from my seat as Remus did, and we both entered the hall as she opened the door.

Proudfoot was standing in the doorway, half bathed in light. He was a mess, and I found out why when he spoke three terrible words…

"Mark is dead".


End file.
